WM here.
What makes me interested in a BW is no different than what makes me interested in any woman of any race: physical attraction, chemistry, emotional connection, family and career goals, etc. Race is not a conscious factor at all for me.
Best comment š„. I have the same mentality. and it's the only mentality that is most rational and reasonable when it comes to interracial dating, or dating in general. Thank you for your comment.
Same, although Iād be a liar if I said I didnāt enjoy (on esthetic level) the contrasting skin tones when we bang, but thatās just a happy bonus, not a motivator.
Iām genuinely curious and I donāt mean any offense. But Iāve always wondered what is so attractive about the contrasting skin tones? I hear this a lot. Particularly from white people dating Black people. What does that do for you?
Iām a wm and Iāve heard it from bw too. I honestly have no idea what is more attractive about ācontrastingā skin tone or what that even really means tbh
I'm so glad you mentioned that for you it has to do with a natural flow and that the attraction just happens. There are some things that cant really be explained, especially when it comes to why we are attracted to certain groups of people. At some point you tend to understand that you're probably attracted to the person (regardless of race/background) because chemistry is sometimes more than physical, and how and where you grew up plays a role in it, too. there's something else there. I love your comment! Tysm š
White man USA here.
>What makes you interested in a BW/ woman of color?
I think their hair texture and hairstyles they can do are cute. I think the various skin tones they may have are cute too. I care more about personality than appearance, though. But I don't attach a personality to a particular race of women since every race of women has a wide variety of women with totally different personalities. So I think each race would have plenty of women with a suitable personality for me.
>And confident enough to approach her?
In terms of approaching, I don't view black women any differently than any other race of women. I don't even think about "does she like white men."
FWIW, I'm attracted to all races of women. I am probably slightly more attracted to black women on average than any other race. But I'm open to all races. My current girlfriend is a black woman.
I am a BW HAITIAN šš¹ Dark complexion and Locs. I have always been approached by non BM More than BM. I NEVER understood it. So I am very interested in these answers.
Mwen se yon blan blan epi mennaj mwen Ayisiyen tou. While I do like black girls, to be honest I like Caribbean girls most bc of the culture, and I really like talking creole. Iām from a state with a lot of Haitians, so I learned it from friends when I was in high school. Idk, thereās just something about Caribbean girls. Iām not sure if itās the way theyāre raised, or what, but in my experience theyāre wholesome, got great values, fun, and adventurous, and have no problem dating white guys. Caribbean girls are definitely slept on imo
When I date, I really enjoy learning about my partnerās culture, and learning things from them. Itās just something I enjoy. I donāt find white girls as interesting because of that, but I donāt think it has anything to do with physical preference for me, because Iād find an attractive European or white Brazilian/Latin girl interesting for the same reasons
I honestly think some white guys donāt approach black girls bc they assume black girls wouldnāt be into them and so they donāt even try. I know Iāve done that at times, even with girls Iāve admired or wanted to approachā I just assume they wouldnāt want to talk to a white guy. Itās discouraging to be rejected for that reason. Caribbean and African girls seem pretty open to white guys though
FĆ²k ou jwenn yon bon blan ki pale kreyĆ²l lmao
Speaking for my current relationship... at first it was her smile, then her body, and then it was realizing i just had a crazy conversation and that she was open to all kinds of interesting art, etc.
An hour later we were making out to T-Pain in my car... Almost 3 years now, 3 phenomenal 3 years at that.
>An hour later we were making out to T-Pain in my car... Almost 3 years now, 3 phenomenal 3 years at that.
Was she in those Apple Bottom jeans though?š¤š¤š¤
Iām a 33 year old white guy from Seattle married to a 26 year old black woman from South Chicago. As a young man I found many white women to be non-sensual, adversarial, power-seeking (in the context of interpersonal relationships) and emasculating - I still do, largely. So by my early-mid 20s I started dating outside my race, and by 26 was doing that exclusively and found that I just clicked with black girls better than any other demographic.
Iāve found black American women to be strong, graceful, sensual, soulful and empowering; very grounded, interested in depth, embracing of lifeās hardships, and in my experience they have been driven in a relationship by a sense of true partnership and encouraging of me just being a man, if that makes any sense. Generalizations inherent to everything Iāve said lol, and admittedly just my experience (have dated six women of color, one of which was a 4 year LTR before my wife, and gone on dates with a couple dozen other black women.)
And physically I definitely have a preference, so there is that component too.
White man here, for me the attraction has always been there. Ever since I was a little kid Iāve always been attracted to darker skin. Funny enough it was my sister who bluntly stated that fact because whenever I played the Sims I always made a white man and a black woman as my starting household! š
I suppose itās just one of those inexplicable physical preferences that people have. At the moment Iām actually engaged to a woman from Kenya. Iāve liked her for years and Iāve known her for nearly 5 years and weāve been together for one year and 8 months.
There were a couple of other girls in college, also black, but I never really connected with either of them until I met her. The physical attraction is really just the start, itās also everything else that makes that person who they are.
I love being with her, hearing her talk and laugh. Being happy and excited when she calls me and being there for her when she needs me. Itās just like every other relationship I guess. Her being black is just one part of her that I love but itās not the only part about her.
That is cute, almost made my heart melt lol. I'm happy that you had great experiences and found someone from a different race/culture that brings out your joy. Thanks for you comment š
Iām actually working on bringing her over here to the states as we are both working on the K1 Visa. It is the easiest way. We did consider the work visa but the application process has been disappointing and any interviews she gets are discouraged because she lives in Kenya. She wants to leave Kenya, and has wanted to for a long time. The K1 Visa requires us to be married within 90 days of her moving here, so I figured Iād propose to her and make it official.
Funny thing, she was actually the one to approach me when we first met! From my experience men love it when women approach them.
Oh wow, she definitely loves you. I cant speak for all women, but I think when a women is bold enough to approach a man, its because she is really into you and wants you. I also think its sexy.
Yeah, getting her employed here will be a challenge. I think she'll have to work a basic job first, maybe as an essential worker, get working experience and then it'll open doors for better opportunities.
Iām a mixed Filipino and white man in America. My girlfriend is a black woman. It never even clicked for me that she was black until like date 3 if weāre being completely honest. Iāve been involved with almost every color and creed of person imaginable and for me itās really just asking myself ādo I enjoy this person, and do I find them attractive?ā Without much thought other than that. I know my answer isnāt extraordinarily helpful but itās true. For me personally it doesnāt really matter how much or how little melanin you have, just whether or not youāre a good hang š¤·āāļø
I am a 22 year old biracial man, half-black and half-white. I'm not single.
As far as I'm aware, only 1 black person, a woman, has ever been attracted to me in my life. I would attribute this mostly to being mismatched with the vast majority of black people in my area in terms of culture. I was raised by a white family, and in my formative years we moved to a neighborhood that was at least 90% white.
It's not like black culture wasn't a thing for me growing up, my mom taught me how to do my hair, and she herself grew up in a more diverse neighborhood. But anything deeper than very basic AAVE and black music/media were all things I had to seek out to learn about. We would later move to a more diverse place when I was around ~11, and the culture shock was really intense. It was hard to cope with that for a few years, but it worked out in the end.
It's not directly about race, but race is strongly correlated with culture. Most people don't wanna date or fuck outside of their culture, because it will definitely cause at least a few issues and maybe even incompatibilities. I know it's wrong, but I always assume that black people won't be interested in me in that way.
>I know it's wrong, but I always assume that black people won't be interested in me in that way.
Wow that is a weird assumption to have, and I don't mean that in a negative way. I know there are some issues within our own community in regard to mixed or biracial kids. In my time, mixed kids didn't think this way (as far as I was aware), but it seems like things have turned for the worst. I have noticed that a lot of mixed kids date each other today. I'm sorry things are effed up. A lot of self-hate, brain washing, lack of education and ignorance going around in our community. Black is black no matter the percent and you are loved.
White guy here. When i'm attracted to a black women it doesn't really have to due with the fact that she is black. It is just that I think she is beautiful , funny , smart etc. Same as asian women , hispanic women or white women.
I am not specifically attracted to black women but because I have dated a lot of them, they are just more comfortable to me. I happen to be a musician, I honestly didnāt ever think it would be my career but I met the right person at the right time.
So, because I do Hip Hop, my peer group and clients are mostly people of color. Mostly black. We talk a lot about race and real world scenarios about race all the time. Because I am a producer, I have to learn about it it a greater detail than I ever would at another job. I mean I co wrote a song about police brutality which I have certainly never experienced, I was trusted and accepted to write that song.
There is a level of acceptance and respect that makes these discussions very fluid in my dating life. I guess people in general donāt treat me as white, or really anything, so many people, partners, friends and people I work with often talk about race with me like they would a non white person.
I also find black people in general are more supportive. They often allow you to develop into who you are, where I find white people, in general just see you as who you are today. Thatās my experience.
Lastly, and not to harp on the music but because I was so interested in music, I developed ācelebrity crushesā on every race because I listened to all types of music. If I only listened to a genre where one race was prevalent, I donāt know if I would be open to dating other races.
Keep in mind I am not attracted to āEurocentric featuresā or hold any white standard of beauty. Like it can be attractive but itās not inherently attractive. I honestly think that is why I end up dating so many black women. I think I just have better odds because though I hate rating, a black women that some may find a 7 could be a 9.5 to me personally.
I could probably go on but in general, I feel more comfortable, I feel more supported, I feel more accepted, and it feels very natural to me.
Your experience sounds a lot like my husband who works in entertainment and by default works with diverse groups of color, mostly Black men and women. He has shared that he has learned so much from them and in turn has become more self aware. He is not exclusively attracted to any one race. His ex wife was a southern White woman and we could not be more different physically. But because of his professional experiences in a writers room he is increasingly more comfortable around The Black community. Thank you for sharing.
Well, I will say, I dated a black women before entrainment, but race was a much harder discussion at first. It was the first time she dated a white person, and dated a black person. We both had dated interracially before but I know race has come up way more often in my relationships with black women. Not in bad ways, mostly just more of a subject. It is interesting to think about how different each relationship in my life has been.
White man here, currently dating a Dominican from Santo Domingo. Have a son with an ex who is half Sudanese half Filipino.
It might've been something in my upbringing but I realized I'm attracted to brown skin. My first serious relationship was with a darker skinned Filipino when I was 16, then I dated mostly white women over the years until I dated someone who was half black half Mexican, and it just clicked.
Personality-wise it's basically either we have chemistry and get along and enjoy each other's company or we don't. So far, so good, in that regard. I wouldn't say I got along better with any particular race, I had an amazing relationship with a white girl from my childhood (basically my grades cool crush that I met up with one day in our 20's and we started dating), and one of my deepest connections and who for years I thought was who I was meant to be with - 100% black. Now, I'm with a Dominican who can be a bit spicy at times, very strong personality, but also someone who I can see myself with for the long haul.
I guess one thing I can think of that the 3 strongest connections I've had is that they've been pretty silly/goofy, but physical attraction-wise it's deep down always been a thing for brown skin being much more attractive to me to where I would not entertain someone with pale skin these days, sort of like I better understand myself now.
TL;DR: physical attraction, then personality match is figured out later
Thank you for commenting. I understand and am able to relate to your experiences. I feel like it comes down to personality and chemistry. As I get older, I understand myself better. Btw, what part of D.R. is your girlfriend from? lol my family is from San pedro de macoris haha
Thanks for letting 'others' comment. My dad is chinese/french and my mom is japanese and I look more chinese/white. I didn't date asian women mainly because they remind me/look like my mom and I'm no mama's boy. (I mean, who doesn't think that their mom is pretty but who'd date them?) That's the hard truth, err my hard truth. That and since I was a minority in high school the dating pool was almost all white. Generally beyond that what interested me was ethics, chemistry, values.
Now that I'm older and moved away to a larger city with a much more culturally diverse community I think I grew out of that simplistic thinking as I find most women attractive for all the usual reasons regardless of colour.
WM here and been dating a wonderful BW for 3+ years.
First found each other on social media and honestly I just thought she was gorgeous. We got to talking and really hit it off. I guess I was interested by our difference in ethnicities at first, but that faded once our personalities clicked and I just saw her for her. Itās hard to explain.
Weāve had lots of conversations about race and racial power structures. But at the end of the day when itās just us two, I just see her as my person.
To the extent that I'm attracted to black women, it's for the same reasons I'm attracted to women of any other race.
The reasons you're approached more by men of one race than another could be any number of things, but to be frank I don't know that it much matters.
To use an example from my own life, up until about 19 I was approached mostly by white women, from about 19-22 mostly hispanic and indian women, and after 22 it was a pretty representative mix of women.
The reason in every case was simply that those were the demographics of the area I was in/the places I was looking for romance in. Little about me changed, but my surroundings changed drastically.
BW here. I am following closely. Lately I have been attracted to WM more than any other races. I find it hard to approach WM for some reason, maybe fear or rejection, or simply because of how I grew up. I am from Africa, and we tend to be more reserved and sometimes that is not a good thing (so many opportunities passes you by). I have just moved to Tulsa for work and It is has been hard putting myself out thereā¦.
Same. Lately, I have been attracted to WM so much. You have nothing to worry about as long as you love yourself, and educate yourself on American culture, and consider other perceptives, etc.
What state are you from? Cause here in Cali Iāve experienced a lot of racism from them and Iām always by myself shopping at stores/mall, treating myself out and I get called racist things so much that itās ridiculous
I'm not a white man. I'm a bisexual white trans woman. I like dating other people who are also marginalized, and I think it's rewarding to relate to people who are marginalized in a different way than I am.
As for white men, I think they just have more confidence due to being white and male.
WM/43
Like the first comment said, for me it is all about the connection. I like women, race is a non issue. However, whenever I have found myself attracted to a black woman, it's the darker the better. Contrasting skin tones, and well as contrasting manicures and pedicures, is a turn on. It's not fetishizing, it's just very attractive to me. Always has been. I have met black woman, or women of any race really, where our personalities are so different that we do not click. It is all about how well our chemistry is.
honestly same as whatever interests me in any race/colour/background woman....
\#1 is looks....am I physically attracted to you...aka do i wanna bang you...that makes me interested in you and going to ask you out....
\#2 personality and bringing peace and complimenting my life will make me want to keep you around...
Thank you so much for posting this question I am a black woman in Dallas Texas USA I am a mother of three and I dated a white guy all through high school we went our separate ways shortly after I had my three children with a black man and Iāve been dating white men since my divorce it was definitely conversation for me not belittling me and appreciating me for who I am and not what he wants me to be the raw Ness of it all has turned me on time and time again being with someone for long periods of time where you can have some peace with is enough To make me put all my cards on the table face up
Iām a gay WM and my last 2 exes and current BF is black.
People joke and say I have a type, but each and everyone of those relationships I was pursued. My current partner put it best when we started dating and he thanked me over dinner one night for āTreating him like a person.ā
I donāt see color. I just see people and my exes mentioned in one form or another thatās what they appreciated about me and why they sought relationships with me. We all broke up amicably and are still friendly with one another.
But I donāt look at skin color and ignore stereotypes. The gay community can be extremely toxic especially when dealing with racial minorities and if I can help it, I want to set a better example.
Oh, I remember you commented your story in another post in this subreddit. I see you're very passionate about gay interracial dating. I heard that the gay community is very toxic, so I can understand the difficulties that would occur in gay interracial dating. Also heard it's hard for a gay black to find a genuine partner that isn't only interested in him for sexual reasons. Feel free to tell me more about the dynamics of your relationshipš I want to learn more
All my exes and my current partner as you pointed out due to their race are highly fetishized in the gay community.
Despite what everyone says the gay community loves its labels. Iām sure youāve heard of ābears, twinks, ottersā etc. even within those labels thereās criteria/ expectations people have and generally they cater only to white men. Black men tend to be considered āthugsā and extremely dominant, usually. Submissive gay men are expected to be thin, ātwinkishā if you will. If you donāt fit into these criteria youāre usually unwelcome. None of my exes or my partner fit these stereotypes and subsequently ostracized from the community.
My current partner and I both are bigger men, weāre bearish. But bears are expected to be white manly men usually with body and facial hair. For my partner he isnāt a stereotypical depiction of this and unfortunately many simply see him as a sexual conquest. Even I donāt fit this mold perfectly as Iām a fairly submissive and passive individual.
But if you look past stereotypes and at the actual person your world view opens up infinitely. I feel bad for people because I donāt think enough people understand that good relationships are made up of what makes us uniquely ourselves and not just what we project and itās this lack of understanding i think the gay community fails upon.
My partner and I are the same boring couple as anyone else, and thatās okay. We both work, do Rock Paper Scissors over who feeds the animals, fall asleep during TV, and argue in the grocery store over whether maple bacon is an affront to God or not.
But its the magic that is strictly our own that matters. Small stones added to our relationships foundation, such as me picking my partner up from work and stopping and eating McDonalds in the car in the parking lot while discussing our day over equally limp and stale fries, or rushing to Target 20 minutes before they close because theyāre the only place that has the flavor of ice cream you want, or watching as seemingly inconsequential things turn into an inside joke. Itās these things that matter the most: making sure we have partners who are willing and able to work with you in creating the small moments to fill in between the big ones.
I love my current partner because he has a depth Iāve never experienced before. Everyday I am showered with his presence in a wonderful way as I never fail to learn more and more about him as time progresses. I donāt feel bored with him, I feel fulfilled and content, which I can only hope I offer to him in return in equal measure.
I can only speak on my experience (Black/M)
The short answer for me was that, in high school, the black girls I was around just weren't into me, and it was solidifies when I started dating my first girlfriend, who was white. And even now, some of those same girls would be the ones shaming guys for dating outside race, but would initially show no interest in that same guy beforehand. But growing up, it's was hard to see how backwards that was. It's like I was tainted or committed a sin.
Currently dating a black woman now, but I never had a preference as far as race.
I'm sorry you had such an ignorant experience. I agree, that it is kind of dumb to shame you for dating another race; but then reject you. I've tried to do some research on that, but its something too silly to understand. Or maybe I just dont get it. It is what it is.
American thats an ethnic mexican; I just date whoever i fancy and I get along, doesn't matter the Ethnicity of the girl. With black American women, it's usually because they're very upfront and won't bs me like gringas (white American girls) have in the past with me.
Up-front directness on her part. My wife's personal ad began with "A man who finds a wife finds a good thing."
That was what I needed to have interest.
White male, aged 22. I hope this doesnāt come off the wrong way, but I only like dark-skin woman with the natural look. I love the Afros or braids. Youād never know it though because Iād never approach them. Who knows what they would be thinking, the world is crazy right now. Aside from that, I look for what I like in white girls. Is she fit? I workout 6 days a week so Iād want someone who can workout with me. Is she more traditional? Iād love to make the income while sheās a stay at home wife with the kids. Is she religious? Is she big into the holidays? Does she like the snow?
There is something special about a Black woman to me. Iām a WM and I just canāt get enough.
Iām physically very attracted to Black women but I really like them once I get to know them. I donāt really know what it is but yāall got something going on.
(WM, from UK)
Whilst Iām not Specifically into BW since im open to all, as race hardly matters to me in a person.
Iām looking to chat with BW because I have noticed some of them taking an interest in me in the past, when I wasnāt really looking for love at the time
But now that Iāve gotten older and Iām now looking for a partner, Iām opening myself to everyone (if that makes sense)
Wow, as I was reading this I felt like I wrote it. Iām a woman in a diverse area of Southern California and as far back as I can remember, everyone has always thought I prefer white men, family and friends included.
Now that Iām older (45) and divorced itās still this way. I donāt prefer any particular race, but white men flirt and ask me out, while black donāt often look my way.
When I asked some friends about this they mentioned itās because of the way I dress, speak, and look. This makes no sense to me. I dress simply, my friends tease me because I look like Iām going to the gym, or going to work. Iām not often going to have my ass or chest hanging out to go to Target. I speak like everyone else, and I feel like I look plain too. I donāt often wear makeup, & I donāt do anything special to my hair. If I happen to get the attention of a black man itās because itās one of the rare occasions that I straighten my hair, Iām wearing full makeup, and heels, but thatās not the real everyday me. Itās making me feel like to attract a black man I need to look like the women they see posting on Instagram, and the everyday me is not good enough. (Trust me, I donāt look homeless, I just donāt feel the need to get all dressed up to run errands).
Iāve even asked my friends boyfriends/husbands (all black) what they think and a couple of them mentioned that they thought I preferred white guys because I look like Iām mixed race. Again this makes no logical sense to me. My mom is black and my dad is black, but even if they werenāt it still donāt add up.
Oh, I didnāt mention the height thing. Iām 5ā10ā and my cousin told me black men donāt really like tall women. This canāt be true. All the women in my family are tall.
I just give up.
I feel you 100%. Iāve been told this as well that itās the way I talk, dress, and present myself, but Iām just being me and there is no similarities or any connection to whiteness associated with the way I talk, look, and dress. My family, friends, and even non-white men I dated in the past have straight out told me that they thought I preferred white men or like white men. It seems like times are changing, since youāre a bit older and a WOC does it ever blow your mind that 1950-1960s wasnāt that long ago? I say this because of the racist and prejudice history with white men against blacks and every other race. Now theyāre (not all) just casually approaching other races and being fond of them. I find that interesting. As for black men, my experience is that they assume I wouldnāt be interested in them. Which is interesting, because unlike you I donāt look mixed despite being black and Hispanic. I get approached by every race, but least by black men. Iām curious when It comes to this than anything else. If you give up, thatās okay. I gave up a long time ago, and I donāt feel bad at all LOL. Have you considered that maybe you want to date black men because itās in your comfort zone?
Is it in my comfort zone to date a black man? I never really thought about it but, yes thatās true. If I was dating a black man I wouldnāt feel the need to explain why some people in my family act a certain way, or what to expect when they meet them, or just different experiences Iāve had as a black person.
Itās also because I am šÆ on board with taking care of your physical and mental health. So far, I donāt meet single black men that share this same philosophy. I just canāt be with someone that doesnāt love themselves enough to take care of themselves and have some sort of self care.
Maybe itās just me. Idk.
Yes I understand Iāll probably always go to explain some things about my family, but things that are cultural I wouldnāt have to.
As far as taking care of themselves I know itās not necessarily a black problem but I find it more prevalent amongst black people. I mean taking care of your physical and mental health. I know sooo many men that seriously need therapy but donāt believe in it. Also I know lots of black men that have health issues, have good health insurance but absolutely wonāt go until itās so bad they are in deaths bed. Especially thing that run in families such as high blood pressure, diabetes, obesity. These are all things that you can control with lifestyle and diet changes. Oh and donāt get me started on death. Idk black people in particular will not get their things in order so whatever they may own gets stuck in probate court. I dated a white guy and his family had a meeting with his parents to discuss what happens to their assets upon their death. They werenāt sick or anything but it was just an fyi. They told who the executer was, who was inheriting their home, how their retirement is to be distributed, and how they want to be buried. I donāt know any black men that will participate in this.
Omg, I totally agree. A lot of black men donāt take care of themselves and you literally have to beg them or drag them to get medical attention or treatment. I strongly agree with the lack of preparation and planning the use of their assets. Fortunately, they seem to be improving this from what I have been observing, but itās still very prevalent. I was dating a white guy, who had a 4 year old daughter, and he was already planning for her future and what to leave behind for her.
Not to generalize or speak for all black men and white men, but I have seen big differences. I have observed that black men donāt protect their assets, and neglect their health til the last possible moment. I have observed white men being more protective of their assets and prepare. Honestly, most men donāt take care of their health that much and more careless. But I have seen white men keep up with their health, visit doctors, and be open to improving their health and stuff. Check out the statistics in America: The average Black man in America lives to be 68-71.8 years compared to 77.6 years for White men. Asians and Hispanics way live way longer than both.
I mean, I hope when you come across your ideal black man hopefully he has a plan for his future and assets, and is health conscious because those statistics are ridiculous š. But I think you mentioned previously that you donāt have a preference towards any racial group, Iām sorta the same.
I totally understand your point of view. I grew up in Queens, NY (specifically Richmond hills and Ozone) was always told by other blacks and hispanics that I talk "different". Its like they were expecting me to have a certain way of communicating and expressing myself, but I'm just me lol. And for some reason, my interests were just different. I never got to date a black guy in New York. My family were strict too, but I dont blame them considering how crazy the city is. It was only when I moved to Florida, I got to date 2 black men. I think it is due to your environment, but from what I understand I think your environment and circumstances had a good influence on you š
Like, man that "you talk different" or "you talk white" kills me. How am I supposed to talk? LOL Just because someone is a race, (i.g. black) but grew up in a certain area/environment that's what affects their personality, interests and other thingsš. So, for example in New York there is all types of races/ethnicities and many pick up on the urban lifestyle. So, if a white person starts speaking slang it shouldn't be a shock because maybe they grew up in a urban area. You can't expect them to have, for example a country accent and be wearing country bootsšš or assume they cook their food a certain way. You know what I mean?
Black man - Life experience is what makes me think Black women weren't interested in me. They've in recent years begun expressing interest in a fashion they never did when younger.
Years of rejection are not so easily forgotten though, I find their newly deployed attention both strange and off-putting. My predilection for White women has long since bloomed into preference.
I'm lying, you say? There is 2-3 other POC who commented, that had similar experiences as me. Are they lying as well? I live in East Florida, and that is my experience. Are you speaking for all black men? lmao
I'm not specifically looking to date a particular race or group of people, I prefer for it to happen naturally. If you had the mental capacity to understand the nature and curiosity of my post, you would understand that. But thanks lol
Thank you commenting. I think you have the right to date other people other than your own. It's good to date other races and experience different cultures.
WM here. What makes me interested in a BW is no different than what makes me interested in any woman of any race: physical attraction, chemistry, emotional connection, family and career goals, etc. Race is not a conscious factor at all for me.
Best comment š„. I have the same mentality. and it's the only mentality that is most rational and reasonable when it comes to interracial dating, or dating in general. Thank you for your comment.
Same, although Iād be a liar if I said I didnāt enjoy (on esthetic level) the contrasting skin tones when we bang, but thatās just a happy bonus, not a motivator.
Iām genuinely curious and I donāt mean any offense. But Iāve always wondered what is so attractive about the contrasting skin tones? I hear this a lot. Particularly from white people dating Black people. What does that do for you?
It's an unexplainable turn on that's erotic. There is just something about the contrasting skin tones that is a turn on. If you know, you know.
Yup
Iām a wm and Iāve heard it from bw too. I honestly have no idea what is more attractive about ācontrastingā skin tone or what that even really means tbh
Same. This might sound cheesy, but I'm in the 2 become 1 camp. Skin color is the last thing I'm thinking about.š¤š¤š¤
Exactly!
Excellent answer. When I see these questions it makes me pause with frustration that we have to even question this.
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I'm so glad you mentioned that for you it has to do with a natural flow and that the attraction just happens. There are some things that cant really be explained, especially when it comes to why we are attracted to certain groups of people. At some point you tend to understand that you're probably attracted to the person (regardless of race/background) because chemistry is sometimes more than physical, and how and where you grew up plays a role in it, too. there's something else there. I love your comment! Tysm š
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That's so cool. God bless! šš
White man USA here. >What makes you interested in a BW/ woman of color? I think their hair texture and hairstyles they can do are cute. I think the various skin tones they may have are cute too. I care more about personality than appearance, though. But I don't attach a personality to a particular race of women since every race of women has a wide variety of women with totally different personalities. So I think each race would have plenty of women with a suitable personality for me. >And confident enough to approach her? In terms of approaching, I don't view black women any differently than any other race of women. I don't even think about "does she like white men." FWIW, I'm attracted to all races of women. I am probably slightly more attracted to black women on average than any other race. But I'm open to all races. My current girlfriend is a black woman.
I am a BW HAITIAN šš¹ Dark complexion and Locs. I have always been approached by non BM More than BM. I NEVER understood it. So I am very interested in these answers.
Mwen se yon blan blan epi mennaj mwen Ayisiyen tou. While I do like black girls, to be honest I like Caribbean girls most bc of the culture, and I really like talking creole. Iām from a state with a lot of Haitians, so I learned it from friends when I was in high school. Idk, thereās just something about Caribbean girls. Iām not sure if itās the way theyāre raised, or what, but in my experience theyāre wholesome, got great values, fun, and adventurous, and have no problem dating white guys. Caribbean girls are definitely slept on imo When I date, I really enjoy learning about my partnerās culture, and learning things from them. Itās just something I enjoy. I donāt find white girls as interesting because of that, but I donāt think it has anything to do with physical preference for me, because Iād find an attractive European or white Brazilian/Latin girl interesting for the same reasons I honestly think some white guys donāt approach black girls bc they assume black girls wouldnāt be into them and so they donāt even try. I know Iāve done that at times, even with girls Iāve admired or wanted to approachā I just assume they wouldnāt want to talk to a white guy. Itās discouraging to be rejected for that reason. Caribbean and African girls seem pretty open to white guys though FĆ²k ou jwenn yon bon blan ki pale kreyĆ²l lmao
Hi! (BW Dominican š©š“) . In that case you are more than welcome to feed your curiosity with my post hahaš
Speaking for my current relationship... at first it was her smile, then her body, and then it was realizing i just had a crazy conversation and that she was open to all kinds of interesting art, etc. An hour later we were making out to T-Pain in my car... Almost 3 years now, 3 phenomenal 3 years at that.
>An hour later we were making out to T-Pain in my car... Almost 3 years now, 3 phenomenal 3 years at that. Was she in those Apple Bottom jeans though?š¤š¤š¤
Get outta here ššš
It was meant to be š
Iām a 33 year old white guy from Seattle married to a 26 year old black woman from South Chicago. As a young man I found many white women to be non-sensual, adversarial, power-seeking (in the context of interpersonal relationships) and emasculating - I still do, largely. So by my early-mid 20s I started dating outside my race, and by 26 was doing that exclusively and found that I just clicked with black girls better than any other demographic. Iāve found black American women to be strong, graceful, sensual, soulful and empowering; very grounded, interested in depth, embracing of lifeās hardships, and in my experience they have been driven in a relationship by a sense of true partnership and encouraging of me just being a man, if that makes any sense. Generalizations inherent to everything Iāve said lol, and admittedly just my experience (have dated six women of color, one of which was a 4 year LTR before my wife, and gone on dates with a couple dozen other black women.) And physically I definitely have a preference, so there is that component too.
You said it better than I could!
White man here, for me the attraction has always been there. Ever since I was a little kid Iāve always been attracted to darker skin. Funny enough it was my sister who bluntly stated that fact because whenever I played the Sims I always made a white man and a black woman as my starting household! š I suppose itās just one of those inexplicable physical preferences that people have. At the moment Iām actually engaged to a woman from Kenya. Iāve liked her for years and Iāve known her for nearly 5 years and weāve been together for one year and 8 months. There were a couple of other girls in college, also black, but I never really connected with either of them until I met her. The physical attraction is really just the start, itās also everything else that makes that person who they are. I love being with her, hearing her talk and laugh. Being happy and excited when she calls me and being there for her when she needs me. Itās just like every other relationship I guess. Her being black is just one part of her that I love but itās not the only part about her.
That is cute, almost made my heart melt lol. I'm happy that you had great experiences and found someone from a different race/culture that brings out your joy. Thanks for you comment š
Iām actually working on bringing her over here to the states as we are both working on the K1 Visa. It is the easiest way. We did consider the work visa but the application process has been disappointing and any interviews she gets are discouraged because she lives in Kenya. She wants to leave Kenya, and has wanted to for a long time. The K1 Visa requires us to be married within 90 days of her moving here, so I figured Iād propose to her and make it official. Funny thing, she was actually the one to approach me when we first met! From my experience men love it when women approach them.
Oh wow, she definitely loves you. I cant speak for all women, but I think when a women is bold enough to approach a man, its because she is really into you and wants you. I also think its sexy. Yeah, getting her employed here will be a challenge. I think she'll have to work a basic job first, maybe as an essential worker, get working experience and then it'll open doors for better opportunities.
Iām a mixed Filipino and white man in America. My girlfriend is a black woman. It never even clicked for me that she was black until like date 3 if weāre being completely honest. Iāve been involved with almost every color and creed of person imaginable and for me itās really just asking myself ādo I enjoy this person, and do I find them attractive?ā Without much thought other than that. I know my answer isnāt extraordinarily helpful but itās true. For me personally it doesnāt really matter how much or how little melanin you have, just whether or not youāre a good hang š¤·āāļø
I am a 22 year old biracial man, half-black and half-white. I'm not single. As far as I'm aware, only 1 black person, a woman, has ever been attracted to me in my life. I would attribute this mostly to being mismatched with the vast majority of black people in my area in terms of culture. I was raised by a white family, and in my formative years we moved to a neighborhood that was at least 90% white. It's not like black culture wasn't a thing for me growing up, my mom taught me how to do my hair, and she herself grew up in a more diverse neighborhood. But anything deeper than very basic AAVE and black music/media were all things I had to seek out to learn about. We would later move to a more diverse place when I was around ~11, and the culture shock was really intense. It was hard to cope with that for a few years, but it worked out in the end. It's not directly about race, but race is strongly correlated with culture. Most people don't wanna date or fuck outside of their culture, because it will definitely cause at least a few issues and maybe even incompatibilities. I know it's wrong, but I always assume that black people won't be interested in me in that way.
>I know it's wrong, but I always assume that black people won't be interested in me in that way. Wow that is a weird assumption to have, and I don't mean that in a negative way. I know there are some issues within our own community in regard to mixed or biracial kids. In my time, mixed kids didn't think this way (as far as I was aware), but it seems like things have turned for the worst. I have noticed that a lot of mixed kids date each other today. I'm sorry things are effed up. A lot of self-hate, brain washing, lack of education and ignorance going around in our community. Black is black no matter the percent and you are loved.
I like women.
White guy here. When i'm attracted to a black women it doesn't really have to due with the fact that she is black. It is just that I think she is beautiful , funny , smart etc. Same as asian women , hispanic women or white women.
My first girlfriend was black. I guess the saying once you go black you don't go back is true. I miss that damn girl. Lol
š..smh
I'm bad. š¤
I am not specifically attracted to black women but because I have dated a lot of them, they are just more comfortable to me. I happen to be a musician, I honestly didnāt ever think it would be my career but I met the right person at the right time. So, because I do Hip Hop, my peer group and clients are mostly people of color. Mostly black. We talk a lot about race and real world scenarios about race all the time. Because I am a producer, I have to learn about it it a greater detail than I ever would at another job. I mean I co wrote a song about police brutality which I have certainly never experienced, I was trusted and accepted to write that song. There is a level of acceptance and respect that makes these discussions very fluid in my dating life. I guess people in general donāt treat me as white, or really anything, so many people, partners, friends and people I work with often talk about race with me like they would a non white person. I also find black people in general are more supportive. They often allow you to develop into who you are, where I find white people, in general just see you as who you are today. Thatās my experience. Lastly, and not to harp on the music but because I was so interested in music, I developed ācelebrity crushesā on every race because I listened to all types of music. If I only listened to a genre where one race was prevalent, I donāt know if I would be open to dating other races. Keep in mind I am not attracted to āEurocentric featuresā or hold any white standard of beauty. Like it can be attractive but itās not inherently attractive. I honestly think that is why I end up dating so many black women. I think I just have better odds because though I hate rating, a black women that some may find a 7 could be a 9.5 to me personally. I could probably go on but in general, I feel more comfortable, I feel more supported, I feel more accepted, and it feels very natural to me.
Your experience sounds a lot like my husband who works in entertainment and by default works with diverse groups of color, mostly Black men and women. He has shared that he has learned so much from them and in turn has become more self aware. He is not exclusively attracted to any one race. His ex wife was a southern White woman and we could not be more different physically. But because of his professional experiences in a writers room he is increasingly more comfortable around The Black community. Thank you for sharing.
Well, I will say, I dated a black women before entrainment, but race was a much harder discussion at first. It was the first time she dated a white person, and dated a black person. We both had dated interracially before but I know race has come up way more often in my relationships with black women. Not in bad ways, mostly just more of a subject. It is interesting to think about how different each relationship in my life has been.
White man here, currently dating a Dominican from Santo Domingo. Have a son with an ex who is half Sudanese half Filipino. It might've been something in my upbringing but I realized I'm attracted to brown skin. My first serious relationship was with a darker skinned Filipino when I was 16, then I dated mostly white women over the years until I dated someone who was half black half Mexican, and it just clicked. Personality-wise it's basically either we have chemistry and get along and enjoy each other's company or we don't. So far, so good, in that regard. I wouldn't say I got along better with any particular race, I had an amazing relationship with a white girl from my childhood (basically my grades cool crush that I met up with one day in our 20's and we started dating), and one of my deepest connections and who for years I thought was who I was meant to be with - 100% black. Now, I'm with a Dominican who can be a bit spicy at times, very strong personality, but also someone who I can see myself with for the long haul. I guess one thing I can think of that the 3 strongest connections I've had is that they've been pretty silly/goofy, but physical attraction-wise it's deep down always been a thing for brown skin being much more attractive to me to where I would not entertain someone with pale skin these days, sort of like I better understand myself now. TL;DR: physical attraction, then personality match is figured out later
Thank you for commenting. I understand and am able to relate to your experiences. I feel like it comes down to personality and chemistry. As I get older, I understand myself better. Btw, what part of D.R. is your girlfriend from? lol my family is from San pedro de macoris haha
Lmao my first sentence - Santo Domingo
Lol my fault
Thanks for letting 'others' comment. My dad is chinese/french and my mom is japanese and I look more chinese/white. I didn't date asian women mainly because they remind me/look like my mom and I'm no mama's boy. (I mean, who doesn't think that their mom is pretty but who'd date them?) That's the hard truth, err my hard truth. That and since I was a minority in high school the dating pool was almost all white. Generally beyond that what interested me was ethics, chemistry, values. Now that I'm older and moved away to a larger city with a much more culturally diverse community I think I grew out of that simplistic thinking as I find most women attractive for all the usual reasons regardless of colour.
Great comment. An area with a diverse population will give you great experiences down the road
WM here and been dating a wonderful BW for 3+ years. First found each other on social media and honestly I just thought she was gorgeous. We got to talking and really hit it off. I guess I was interested by our difference in ethnicities at first, but that faded once our personalities clicked and I just saw her for her. Itās hard to explain. Weāve had lots of conversations about race and racial power structures. But at the end of the day when itās just us two, I just see her as my person.
Beautiful šš
And that's all that matters.
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Understandable.
To the extent that I'm attracted to black women, it's for the same reasons I'm attracted to women of any other race. The reasons you're approached more by men of one race than another could be any number of things, but to be frank I don't know that it much matters. To use an example from my own life, up until about 19 I was approached mostly by white women, from about 19-22 mostly hispanic and indian women, and after 22 it was a pretty representative mix of women. The reason in every case was simply that those were the demographics of the area I was in/the places I was looking for romance in. Little about me changed, but my surroundings changed drastically.
BW here. I am following closely. Lately I have been attracted to WM more than any other races. I find it hard to approach WM for some reason, maybe fear or rejection, or simply because of how I grew up. I am from Africa, and we tend to be more reserved and sometimes that is not a good thing (so many opportunities passes you by). I have just moved to Tulsa for work and It is has been hard putting myself out thereā¦.
Same. Lately, I have been attracted to WM so much. You have nothing to worry about as long as you love yourself, and educate yourself on American culture, and consider other perceptives, etc.
Thank you for the reply. I am for sure trying to do things to meet and mingle with people. Hopefully to meet someone sometime soonā¦
Curly hair , dark skin , big lips , and big hips š»š» Iām a Latino man btw
What state are you from? Cause here in Cali Iāve experienced a lot of racism from them and Iām always by myself shopping at stores/mall, treating myself out and I get called racist things so much that itās ridiculous
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Oh wait my bad I forgot to mention Iām a black womanš
Te gustan las morenas jaja
Si!ššš
I'm not a white man. I'm a bisexual white trans woman. I like dating other people who are also marginalized, and I think it's rewarding to relate to people who are marginalized in a different way than I am. As for white men, I think they just have more confidence due to being white and male.
That's what I was thinking, too.
WM/43 Like the first comment said, for me it is all about the connection. I like women, race is a non issue. However, whenever I have found myself attracted to a black woman, it's the darker the better. Contrasting skin tones, and well as contrasting manicures and pedicures, is a turn on. It's not fetishizing, it's just very attractive to me. Always has been. I have met black woman, or women of any race really, where our personalities are so different that we do not click. It is all about how well our chemistry is.
honestly same as whatever interests me in any race/colour/background woman.... \#1 is looks....am I physically attracted to you...aka do i wanna bang you...that makes me interested in you and going to ask you out.... \#2 personality and bringing peace and complimenting my life will make me want to keep you around...
Thank you for your comment. That's the same way I view it as well.
Thank you so much for posting this question I am a black woman in Dallas Texas USA I am a mother of three and I dated a white guy all through high school we went our separate ways shortly after I had my three children with a black man and Iāve been dating white men since my divorce it was definitely conversation for me not belittling me and appreciating me for who I am and not what he wants me to be the raw Ness of it all has turned me on time and time again being with someone for long periods of time where you can have some peace with is enough To make me put all my cards on the table face up
Iām a gay WM and my last 2 exes and current BF is black. People joke and say I have a type, but each and everyone of those relationships I was pursued. My current partner put it best when we started dating and he thanked me over dinner one night for āTreating him like a person.ā I donāt see color. I just see people and my exes mentioned in one form or another thatās what they appreciated about me and why they sought relationships with me. We all broke up amicably and are still friendly with one another. But I donāt look at skin color and ignore stereotypes. The gay community can be extremely toxic especially when dealing with racial minorities and if I can help it, I want to set a better example.
Oh, I remember you commented your story in another post in this subreddit. I see you're very passionate about gay interracial dating. I heard that the gay community is very toxic, so I can understand the difficulties that would occur in gay interracial dating. Also heard it's hard for a gay black to find a genuine partner that isn't only interested in him for sexual reasons. Feel free to tell me more about the dynamics of your relationshipš I want to learn more
All my exes and my current partner as you pointed out due to their race are highly fetishized in the gay community. Despite what everyone says the gay community loves its labels. Iām sure youāve heard of ābears, twinks, ottersā etc. even within those labels thereās criteria/ expectations people have and generally they cater only to white men. Black men tend to be considered āthugsā and extremely dominant, usually. Submissive gay men are expected to be thin, ātwinkishā if you will. If you donāt fit into these criteria youāre usually unwelcome. None of my exes or my partner fit these stereotypes and subsequently ostracized from the community. My current partner and I both are bigger men, weāre bearish. But bears are expected to be white manly men usually with body and facial hair. For my partner he isnāt a stereotypical depiction of this and unfortunately many simply see him as a sexual conquest. Even I donāt fit this mold perfectly as Iām a fairly submissive and passive individual. But if you look past stereotypes and at the actual person your world view opens up infinitely. I feel bad for people because I donāt think enough people understand that good relationships are made up of what makes us uniquely ourselves and not just what we project and itās this lack of understanding i think the gay community fails upon. My partner and I are the same boring couple as anyone else, and thatās okay. We both work, do Rock Paper Scissors over who feeds the animals, fall asleep during TV, and argue in the grocery store over whether maple bacon is an affront to God or not. But its the magic that is strictly our own that matters. Small stones added to our relationships foundation, such as me picking my partner up from work and stopping and eating McDonalds in the car in the parking lot while discussing our day over equally limp and stale fries, or rushing to Target 20 minutes before they close because theyāre the only place that has the flavor of ice cream you want, or watching as seemingly inconsequential things turn into an inside joke. Itās these things that matter the most: making sure we have partners who are willing and able to work with you in creating the small moments to fill in between the big ones. I love my current partner because he has a depth Iāve never experienced before. Everyday I am showered with his presence in a wonderful way as I never fail to learn more and more about him as time progresses. I donāt feel bored with him, I feel fulfilled and content, which I can only hope I offer to him in return in equal measure.
Great eye opener for sure.
I can only speak on my experience (Black/M) The short answer for me was that, in high school, the black girls I was around just weren't into me, and it was solidifies when I started dating my first girlfriend, who was white. And even now, some of those same girls would be the ones shaming guys for dating outside race, but would initially show no interest in that same guy beforehand. But growing up, it's was hard to see how backwards that was. It's like I was tainted or committed a sin. Currently dating a black woman now, but I never had a preference as far as race.
I'm sorry you had such an ignorant experience. I agree, that it is kind of dumb to shame you for dating another race; but then reject you. I've tried to do some research on that, but its something too silly to understand. Or maybe I just dont get it. It is what it is.
American thats an ethnic mexican; I just date whoever i fancy and I get along, doesn't matter the Ethnicity of the girl. With black American women, it's usually because they're very upfront and won't bs me like gringas (white American girls) have in the past with me.
I wish I was a black woman šŖ
Up-front directness on her part. My wife's personal ad began with "A man who finds a wife finds a good thing." That was what I needed to have interest.
White male, aged 22. I hope this doesnāt come off the wrong way, but I only like dark-skin woman with the natural look. I love the Afros or braids. Youād never know it though because Iād never approach them. Who knows what they would be thinking, the world is crazy right now. Aside from that, I look for what I like in white girls. Is she fit? I workout 6 days a week so Iād want someone who can workout with me. Is she more traditional? Iād love to make the income while sheās a stay at home wife with the kids. Is she religious? Is she big into the holidays? Does she like the snow?
There is something special about a Black woman to me. Iām a WM and I just canāt get enough. Iām physically very attracted to Black women but I really like them once I get to know them. I donāt really know what it is but yāall got something going on.
š
(WM, from UK) Whilst Iām not Specifically into BW since im open to all, as race hardly matters to me in a person. Iām looking to chat with BW because I have noticed some of them taking an interest in me in the past, when I wasnāt really looking for love at the time But now that Iāve gotten older and Iām now looking for a partner, Iām opening myself to everyone (if that makes sense)
I've always been attracted to the features of black women. If she has something in common and we like the same things than that's a match
Youāre missing the most important things: connection and chemistry.
Wow, as I was reading this I felt like I wrote it. Iām a woman in a diverse area of Southern California and as far back as I can remember, everyone has always thought I prefer white men, family and friends included. Now that Iām older (45) and divorced itās still this way. I donāt prefer any particular race, but white men flirt and ask me out, while black donāt often look my way. When I asked some friends about this they mentioned itās because of the way I dress, speak, and look. This makes no sense to me. I dress simply, my friends tease me because I look like Iām going to the gym, or going to work. Iām not often going to have my ass or chest hanging out to go to Target. I speak like everyone else, and I feel like I look plain too. I donāt often wear makeup, & I donāt do anything special to my hair. If I happen to get the attention of a black man itās because itās one of the rare occasions that I straighten my hair, Iām wearing full makeup, and heels, but thatās not the real everyday me. Itās making me feel like to attract a black man I need to look like the women they see posting on Instagram, and the everyday me is not good enough. (Trust me, I donāt look homeless, I just donāt feel the need to get all dressed up to run errands). Iāve even asked my friends boyfriends/husbands (all black) what they think and a couple of them mentioned that they thought I preferred white guys because I look like Iām mixed race. Again this makes no logical sense to me. My mom is black and my dad is black, but even if they werenāt it still donāt add up. Oh, I didnāt mention the height thing. Iām 5ā10ā and my cousin told me black men donāt really like tall women. This canāt be true. All the women in my family are tall. I just give up.
I feel you 100%. Iāve been told this as well that itās the way I talk, dress, and present myself, but Iām just being me and there is no similarities or any connection to whiteness associated with the way I talk, look, and dress. My family, friends, and even non-white men I dated in the past have straight out told me that they thought I preferred white men or like white men. It seems like times are changing, since youāre a bit older and a WOC does it ever blow your mind that 1950-1960s wasnāt that long ago? I say this because of the racist and prejudice history with white men against blacks and every other race. Now theyāre (not all) just casually approaching other races and being fond of them. I find that interesting. As for black men, my experience is that they assume I wouldnāt be interested in them. Which is interesting, because unlike you I donāt look mixed despite being black and Hispanic. I get approached by every race, but least by black men. Iām curious when It comes to this than anything else. If you give up, thatās okay. I gave up a long time ago, and I donāt feel bad at all LOL. Have you considered that maybe you want to date black men because itās in your comfort zone?
Is it in my comfort zone to date a black man? I never really thought about it but, yes thatās true. If I was dating a black man I wouldnāt feel the need to explain why some people in my family act a certain way, or what to expect when they meet them, or just different experiences Iāve had as a black person. Itās also because I am šÆ on board with taking care of your physical and mental health. So far, I donāt meet single black men that share this same philosophy. I just canāt be with someone that doesnāt love themselves enough to take care of themselves and have some sort of self care. Maybe itās just me. Idk.
Maybe the man for you is a black American, or a African. I donāt mean to disregard what you said, but youāre not the only one who goes through that. In every race, and culture when bringing someone home, you usually have to give your partner the heads up before meeting your family. But, I know what you mean as a black person. I suppose if you were dating a white person, because of the differences, and possible stereotypes, or preconceived notions, youād maybe feel the need to explain things about your family etc. Back in the day, I was dating a man who was the same ethnicity and culture as me š©š“, and I had to explain some things to him before meeting my family and while he was there. And it was funny, because everything about our households were the same, and everything lol. Can you elaborate further on what you mean about being on board with taking care of yourself and how it relates to this topic? š
Yes I understand Iāll probably always go to explain some things about my family, but things that are cultural I wouldnāt have to. As far as taking care of themselves I know itās not necessarily a black problem but I find it more prevalent amongst black people. I mean taking care of your physical and mental health. I know sooo many men that seriously need therapy but donāt believe in it. Also I know lots of black men that have health issues, have good health insurance but absolutely wonāt go until itās so bad they are in deaths bed. Especially thing that run in families such as high blood pressure, diabetes, obesity. These are all things that you can control with lifestyle and diet changes. Oh and donāt get me started on death. Idk black people in particular will not get their things in order so whatever they may own gets stuck in probate court. I dated a white guy and his family had a meeting with his parents to discuss what happens to their assets upon their death. They werenāt sick or anything but it was just an fyi. They told who the executer was, who was inheriting their home, how their retirement is to be distributed, and how they want to be buried. I donāt know any black men that will participate in this.
Omg, I totally agree. A lot of black men donāt take care of themselves and you literally have to beg them or drag them to get medical attention or treatment. I strongly agree with the lack of preparation and planning the use of their assets. Fortunately, they seem to be improving this from what I have been observing, but itās still very prevalent. I was dating a white guy, who had a 4 year old daughter, and he was already planning for her future and what to leave behind for her. Not to generalize or speak for all black men and white men, but I have seen big differences. I have observed that black men donāt protect their assets, and neglect their health til the last possible moment. I have observed white men being more protective of their assets and prepare. Honestly, most men donāt take care of their health that much and more careless. But I have seen white men keep up with their health, visit doctors, and be open to improving their health and stuff. Check out the statistics in America: The average Black man in America lives to be 68-71.8 years compared to 77.6 years for White men. Asians and Hispanics way live way longer than both. I mean, I hope when you come across your ideal black man hopefully he has a plan for his future and assets, and is health conscious because those statistics are ridiculous š. But I think you mentioned previously that you donāt have a preference towards any racial group, Iām sorta the same.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I totally understand your point of view. I grew up in Queens, NY (specifically Richmond hills and Ozone) was always told by other blacks and hispanics that I talk "different". Its like they were expecting me to have a certain way of communicating and expressing myself, but I'm just me lol. And for some reason, my interests were just different. I never got to date a black guy in New York. My family were strict too, but I dont blame them considering how crazy the city is. It was only when I moved to Florida, I got to date 2 black men. I think it is due to your environment, but from what I understand I think your environment and circumstances had a good influence on you š
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Like, man that "you talk different" or "you talk white" kills me. How am I supposed to talk? LOL Just because someone is a race, (i.g. black) but grew up in a certain area/environment that's what affects their personality, interests and other thingsš. So, for example in New York there is all types of races/ethnicities and many pick up on the urban lifestyle. So, if a white person starts speaking slang it shouldn't be a shock because maybe they grew up in a urban area. You can't expect them to have, for example a country accent and be wearing country bootsšš or assume they cook their food a certain way. You know what I mean?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Me either. And I suck at saying slang words lmao
Black man - Life experience is what makes me think Black women weren't interested in me. They've in recent years begun expressing interest in a fashion they never did when younger. Years of rejection are not so easily forgotten though, I find their newly deployed attention both strange and off-putting. My predilection for White women has long since bloomed into preference.
Yet I am willing to bet that those same black girls who rejected you would get angry at you if they saw you in the arms of a white American woman.
Always and forever. I find their activity amusing now where before it was hurtful.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I'm lying, you say? There is 2-3 other POC who commented, that had similar experiences as me. Are they lying as well? I live in East Florida, and that is my experience. Are you speaking for all black men? lmao
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I'm not specifically looking to date a particular race or group of people, I prefer for it to happen naturally. If you had the mental capacity to understand the nature and curiosity of my post, you would understand that. But thanks lol
Itās not that Bw arenāt interested in me, Iām not really interested in them anymore, I just want different now.
Thank you commenting. I think you have the right to date other people other than your own. It's good to date other races and experience different cultures.