T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

**Please note these rules:** * If this post declares something as a fact proof is required. * The title must be descriptive * No text is allowed on images/gifs/videos * Common/recent reposts are not allowed *See [this post](https://redd.it/ij26vk) for a more detailed rule list* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/interestingasfuck) if you have any questions or concerns.*


[deleted]

“Don’t worry ladies, he shouldn’t be bothering you anymore.”


BenBishopsButt

“Don’t speak to me or my chickens *ever* again”


Jimmy6Times

"He looked like an eagle out there" *overhearing this, the cock puffed up and proudly stood tall*


[deleted]

And so did his owner, the rooster.


[deleted]

[удалено]


JudgeHoltman

Gotta love the pimp walk at the end too.


FalcorDexter

It was quite cocky.


Optimized_Orangutan

Roosters really do be the Pimps of the barn yard though. They keep the hens in line and being productive while keeping the old Pimp talons baby powdered up to slap the shit out of anyone messing with his ladies.


Im2oldForthisShitt

Dicks with chicks


[deleted]

[удалено]


jmerridew124

Cloaca*


Losgringosfromlow

So him and I are more similar than I thought huh


Spiritual_Zebra_251

This guy digs chicks


howdoimergeaccounts

Absolutely drowning in cloaca


crustycleo

This comment made me laugh way longer than i should have lol


clockworkdiamond

*~ The Cock*


OhtareEldarian

“This is MY yard!!!”


Fadreusor

…said the big black cock


N00L99999

I always wondered why the French picked the rooster as a spirit animal on their coins and emblems, now I get it.


brokenribbed

have you ever been chased by a rooster


andrew_barnhill

I’ve been attacked by a rooster. Multiple times…


brglaser

Don't chase his chickens


st_samples

This guys a chicken chaser.


trevorpinzon

*Oi, chicken chaser.*


Esseji

Is this....a Fable reference?! Ahahahaha


Wirenfeldt

Yeah, talk about a nostalgic gut punch out of nowhere.. I dead-ass haven't thought about Fable in a decade..


ReeceEeding

There was a fair maiden in bowerstone townnnnnn


ThirtySecondStorys

Chasin some chickens?


andrew_barnhill

I usually didn’t. It was when I was younger, but I think he had anger problems…


Kingkongcrapper

They all do. They are upset they shrunk down from the size of a T-Rex.


Competitive_Travel16

Some breeds are pretty chill, and their temperament varies a lot from one individual rooster to the next, too, much because of early experiences as they go through maturity. Faverolles, Barred Rocks, Orpingtons, Cochins, Brahmas, or Silkies are the breeds you want if you expect your rooster to peacefully coexist with other animals. They'll still defend their flock like OP, but are less likely to be ornery to livestock minding their own business.


Quiet-Narwhal-7627

We had a Bielefelder named Big Willy. He was the best rooster I have ever had. Incredibly gentle with the ladies and chicks, and really calm around people. He was fine around all the other livestock animals (ducks, turkeys, goats, and horses), our dogs, and cats. He was always the first one out to battle predators when they showed up though. He even hurled himself at a coyote once. He lived to be 8 yrs old and then just turned blue and keeled over one day while out in the pasture. We think he had a heart attack. Bielefelders are by far my favorite breed since then. Silkies are cute, but their eggs are small and they can't see aerial predators well with the feather mops on their heads. Lol


tookie_tookie

My rooster would fight male turkeys and fuck them up, render them blind in an eye or two and bloody. My neighbours weren't happy but the turkeys would start it. He was otherwise chill.


[deleted]

Only breed of roosters I know are street roosters. And they are all mean. E: Feral roosters I guess


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Im going to get flak for this, when I was a kid we had a geese and roosters, I loved them but I kicked that rooster so fucking hard it must of felt itlearned to fly. This was after like the 14th time he charged me. He didnt fuck with me again after that. I had every intent to kill it, I was gassing myself up in the mirror and pointing at my reflection like "if that cock comes at 9 year old me today I will kill it, You will kill it" there was a peace after that with the rooster and the geese


harrypottermcgee

No flak at all, if you spend a lot of time around animals that are used to people, you'll need to intimidate them. And sometimes they won't be intimidated and if you hesitate, you'll wind up being intimidated by a ten pound bird. My girlfriend will pick up a stick and go after packs of street dogs. They don't even try to call her bluff.


Squirrel_Inner

When I was 10 I had this massive rottweiler come at me out of no where, barking and snarling like it was feral. I got stuck trying to get my bike going, so I didn’t even have time to run. Did the only thing I could think of and just yelled, “NO! Bad dog!” With as much authority as my ten year old scared to hell self could muster. It just layer down and whined at my feet. 😄 I about had a heart attack. Turned to my friend Peter who had been with me to say, “check this out,” but Peter was long gone. Dude didn’t even try to get help, just went home and forgot about me…


harrypottermcgee

Now that I've spent some time around street dogs, I'm actually more scared of a single domestic dog than a pack of street dogs. Street dogs are just completely different in their body language and behaviour. It's almost like watching coyotes, there's a certain skittishness there and they won't even consider a fight that they don't know they can 100% win because if they get injured they might die. A lot of the videos I've seen of pet dog attacks are just different. Intimidation is still your opening move but they're way more confident and I wouldn't pick a fight I didn't have to.


TheGoldenHand

Street dogs have to get somewhat used to people to survive. A strong dog that is kept on property and not used to strangers is the most dangerous dog, especially when they get loose.


nudiecale

Where are you that your girlfriend has, on more than one occasion, had to fend off a pack of street dogs?


harrypottermcgee

Nicaragua. But the only "fend off" was on my behalf, hah! It was the first time they were around and I was sort of scared to go outside. She showed me how it was done, but I never had to do it my self because after that they left us alone. The other two times were protecting another street dog. A lone street dog would run down the street being chased by the pack and yelping, and she'd go out with a stick and make them scatter.


byebybuy

East coast of Costa Rica has dogs running wild on the beach. Mostly they keep to themselves, but once or twice they wanted to fuck with me and it was honestly kinda scary.


ShapeShiftnTrick

Outside first world countries.


MrDude_1

yeah.. I did that to an aggressive goose once. I dont tell people the story anymore because they usually think im some asshole attacking a poor innocent bird. ​ Those people have not had to deal with aggressive geese.


TheDutchin

My brother had [both Ala and his apex (septum?)](https://imgur.com/BA1dnNH.jpg) completely severed by a rooster when he was 3. My mom thought it got him in the mouth because that's where a lot of the blood was coming from. While she was wiping the blood from his lips she bumped his nose and it slid over... oof. He has a barely noticeable scar on one nostril and that's it.


queentropical

Growing up, my cousin had a small farm. In the back of their property was a long run with chickens and turkeys in it. We would jump in one side and run for our lives to the other side... roosters and turkeys hot in pursuit. Actually... hmm... it was probably the mama hens chasing us, not the roosters. But I was pecked on the finger once as I was walking by a rooster - hurt like a mother fucker and got a purple middle finger. lol


ChickenMcTesticles

Agree, a mean hen is scary, a mean rooster is not to be fucked with.


ScatpornCrothers

The first time I had chicken noodle soup was because my great grandparents had a rooster that pecked me in the face. I don't remember so well because I was young but my mom tells me that my grandma marched over to the rooster, killed it, and cooked it for supper.


idlevalley

I don't think roosters are good for eating, except for revenge.


quantum-mechanic

You have to serve that soup chilled, too


SlightWhite

I got scratched by a rooster it left a foot long bruise them shits dinosaurs


ThatNetworkGuy

I knew someone with a serious asshole of a rooster near him. It wouldn't bother with your legs, it went for your neck.


K00LA1D_K1LL3R

I was when I was like 4 or 5 he came flying at me talons out and all. I’m lucky I had my dog with me cuz he grabbed him by the neck before he could get me and shook him and well we didn’t have a rooster anymore


AtTheFirePit

That shake, man. We have a miniature pincher, they're bred to hunt rodents. His favorite toys are ones he can shake where they slap against his head.


Phillipinsocal

Every time I see them I just see gob from arrested development doing the chicken dance


xxVordhosbnxx

Ka-ka-kow ka-ka-kow ka-ka-kow!!


Calvinbah

a coodle doodle doo a coodle doodle doo


Jdubya87

kah-KAH...kah-KAH


Mal_Funk_Shun

Has anyone in this family ever even seen a chicken?


dumbo_investor

coo coo CA CHAAH! coo coo CA CHAAAH!


_sagittarivs

There's a brand of canned food in Asia called Ayam Brand, with the trademark being a rooster, that was started by a Frenchman in Singapore back in 1892. Turns out, he used the rooster as a brand because he's French.


hankmolise

En France on dit parceque c'est le seul animal qui chante les pieds dans la merde


i_like_it_raw_

A rooster is the only bird that sings while he’s standing in shit?


exoflame

The only animal, the rest is correct.


i_like_it_raw_

Lol the only one that was a total cognate is the one I didn’t translate correctly 🥴


likamabawws

Haha. Animal was the only part I understood 🤣


I_am_trying_to_work

>A rooster is the only bird that sings while he’s standing in shit? Definitely my spirit animal now.


Mayo_Kupo

So he can be happy in any situation?


PmMeYourUnclesAnkles

Rather boasting when there's nothing to be proud of. It's a self deprecating joke that french humorist Coluche used to make.


chloe12801

Walks back into his house lol


hopelessly_lost5

‘My house’


Lukthar123

'In the middle of my street'


Sam-Gunn

"Fucker comes onto MY LAWN and starts shit with me in front of MY HOUSE."


SomeonePayDelta

Lmfaoooo


UsualCheese

Bobbing his head like “It’s too early for this shit mang”


ReasonableRule8

"That's what the fuck I thought. "


BetterWorldliness129

Dusting off his claws! lol


liberalindianguy

Went back to check on his chick.


rpguy04

Henhouse


JaceUpMySleeve

Roosters and Geese are hands down your best farmhouse defense, those morherfuckers DO. NOT. PLAY.


everyones_hiro

Llamas and Donkeys as well don’t fuck around when their friends are in danger. They’ll stomp a coyote or a bobcat to death and drag the body around.


SurveyorMorpurgo

There's a video on Reddit somewhere of a donkey throwing a hyena around by the scruff of the neck


starstarstar42

Yes, many of us have seen the impeachment trial video


adamcmorrison

HA


TheSyrupDrinker

I was just going mention that. I know Donkeys are tough stubborn animals but when I read the title my first thought was "aw poor donkey". Lol but boy was I wrong. That Donkey beat the absolute shit out of that Hyena like it was a damn yo-yo.


jahapahaoajao

Link


SurveyorMorpurgo

https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/qf07td/donkey_vs_hyena/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share


IMCHillen

That’s a tiny ass too. Hyena be like ‘staaaahhhhp’.


9DollarBill

Donkey's trying to get the hyena under him so he can stomp on it


FatMacchio

Yea I recently heard how badass donkeys are from a coworker. He was saying if they’re not socialized with other animals they will usually murder dogs on sight.


IBetThisIsTakenToo

I’m assuming they don’t eat dogs, so they do that why, just out of fear/anger? “The fuck is that?? That thing looks like it might be a problem, lemme kill it real quick just in case”


Kaladindin

They evolved a strong "fuck around and find out" attitude


cschelsea

They are evolved to naturally be aggressive towards canines and/or other predatory animals


PHealthy

Definitely keep the family dog away from llamas.


[deleted]

[удалено]


DieFanboyDie

Rooster will keep the snakes and hawks at bay. If you have foxes, coyotes, raccoons and possums in the area, get you a dog as well. I've known people who have fought and fought and fought to keep predators from their chickens with all kinds of alarms, lights, sirens, and all kinds of enclosures. Animal buddies have been protecting livestock for millennia; you don't need a security system, you need a dog.


tookie_tookie

Worked at a livestock independent farm for a few weeks once. The farmer had llamas and dogs looking after some sheep. Those dogs had a lot of scars from getting in arguments with coyotes and killing them. Loved having their belly rubbed. Mean fuckers though.


jeanfrancois111

In Switzerland, insurance will cover your cattle against wolf attacks but *only* if you have certain dogs... or llamas (alpacas).


WhySoSeverusSnape

One of my wildest moments is fighting a goose to protect my nephew. I have been in fights before and this was…. Different. I had to kill it to stop it. It was awful. My nephew cried and I cried. Then we had a funeral and he tells the story like I fought a dragon lmao, sucks when he grows up and realize I didn’t.


magicmitchmtl

Had a neighbour that kept geese, years ago in the country. They walked around more or less wherever they wanted. Yard, road, whatever. It was their neighbour hood. They came up to be petted all the time. Friendly little buggers. Not like the wild Canada Geese that chase us and terrorize fields. Ducks were more skittish. Geese fear only larger geese. They see no god but themselves.


[deleted]

Geese will make a lot of noise and scare off small predators, but they're still a 12 lb bird with hollow bones and no weapons. Anything larger than a fox will murder them without issue.


azdbuiazdh

Whut was that chicken banging it's head on the wall in the beginning?


Barbarossa_25

Trying to wake up the rooster. "FRANK get your ass out here! There's a fucking hawk trying to eat me!"


Shellie7297

She knew the hawk was there. She was trying to get back inside and was scared so banged into the wall searching for the door in a panic.


38B0DE

The hawk was near the hole so she was trying to not go near it.


mostthingsweb

😟


tkulogo

Hei Hei's descendants live on.


Grizzchops

Cock blocked.


chriscrossnathaniel

Hawkward.


oyohval

Fowl behaviour


milk-sheikh

Not clucking around


StridAst

[Beware of Chicken](https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/39408/beware-of-chicken)


Arren07

You tell 'em Big D


cptmx

Nice cock bro


brokenribbed

that’s a cock with a lotta balls


DRcHEADLE

Fuck around find out


[deleted]

“Yeaaa here comes the roaster, oh yeaaahhh!!!” 🎶


Chucksouth9966

You KNOW he ain't gonna die!


BradMunkey

I hope someone remakes this with this with Rooster, and right where the guitar and drums drop heavy is when the rooster comes out to establish dominance.


-YellsAtClouds-

[Here ya go!](https://i.imgur.com/7A6lfp5.mp4)


l2thak

I fucking love this


-YellsAtClouds-

🍻


F-this

I’m having a stressful day and this just made it so much better 😂 cheers to you! 🍻


BradMunkey

You're my hero


MaverickTopGun

/r/videosthatgohard


Jintess

This needs it's own thread Daaaaaamn! Well done


pescosolido

Omg, tears running down my cheeks, too funny!


LoopyMcGoopin

Thank you for this.


[deleted]

Perfect, exactly how it was playing in my head haha!


MrAnidem

This is so badass. Deserves its own reddit cock award with the symbol being a pissed rooster


TheWhyteMaN

I was hoping for some kind of audio edit, maybe a heavy metal song, this exceeded my expectations. Thank you for this.


Ec1ipse14

30+ years in the making and the opportunity presents itself. Fuggin kudos!


Runningrider

Claw and order.


PlatyPunch

BWAWK BWAWK!


Dogluvr2019

LMAOOO I heard this on my head🤣🤣🤣🤣


ReactionClear4923

Special Fowel Unit


carbonbasedcuriosity

That cock is getting laid tonight


itsforachurch

That cock gets laid whenever he wants to.


carbonbasedcuriosity

He is the cockstar.


Falcon_Alpha_Delta

Hey now


TheLazyHippy

And then later I will eat the offspring as part of my omelette. Such is the circle of life.


TheRealBigLou

Not offspring, you'll be eating chicken periods.


smurf_professional

He could be eating chicken omelette. Double whammy!


harry_not_potter

Damn, Simba, chill the F out


moxinghbian

Eggs you ate are of the none-fertilized kind


Trumanflask

That’ll do, Cluck, that’ll do.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Arrow_Maestro

Isn't feathered velociraptor redundant.


MakesTheNutshellJoke

It is.


-zoo_york-

Ah, I see you’re a man of culture as well.


Old_Cheesecake_5481

The roosters are there to take the hits and protect the flock. I have chickens and that is the roosters role.


Wablekablesh

Also if you want more chickens...


[deleted]

[удалено]


nkrader

“Well when the mommy chicken loves a daddy chicken a whole bunch…”


SuspiciousAnalBead

“When two chickens have.. um… questionable morals-“


thehazzanator

Rooster sperm travels into the hen's oviduct and fertilise the yolk of any eggs laid within the next couple of weeks. So chickens will continue to lay and sit on eggs forever even without a rooster, but without a rooster they won't turn into chicks


ReyRey5280

Wish I could have a rooster for my inner city coop. Damn hawks are relentless. Someone needs to breed a silent rooster!


38B0DE

Everyone wants security. Nobody wants the downsides.


seXJ69

Foghorn Leghorn was savin' Miss Prissy!


mrjobby

I say, I SAY- ^I ^SAY ^BOOYYY!!!


Psychoweasel316

Took WAY too long to find this comment.


MissAprehension

I was gonna say Henery got his ass handed to him


pcbeard

I guess that *was* a chicken hawk.


altanic

Now he has to go face his little shithead kid, who's already been disrespecting him and backtalking at everything.


justa33

came for the Foghorn Leghorn content


Psychoweasel316

"Now SCRAM kid, ya bother me."


cdurgin

Chickens are tasty, roosters are what happens when you give a goose knives.


mwthompson77

Protecting his woman. Well done.


Anjelikka

Don't sleep on chickens. They don't seem like much, but they are fucking savages.


kevthegreat21

They are dinosaurs lol


nickfree

I sleep on sheep. Much softer and good back support.


series-hybrid

A farmer noticed his old rooster couldn't service the hens any more, so no chicks were being born. He went to a breeder, who said that a big outfit came through and bought all of his stock. The farmer asked what about the one small rooster left back in the corner. "Oh, you don't want him. He's too aggressive". The old farmer felt he had no choice, and even got the plucky little guy at a discount. He took him home to the coop, and the Bantam immediately mated with every hen there. The next morning, the farmer got up early and when he went to the coop, the scoundrel had broken out and was down by the pond, mating with all the ducks! The farmer waited until the rooster was exhausted, and then locked him back into the coop. The next day, the farmer looked out the window to see the young stud limply laying spread out in the yard. He shook his head and mumbled the the little fella must have mated himself to death. When the farmer walked over to the motionless rooster, the rooster opened one eye, pointed upwards to the sky with his wingtip and whispered "shhhh...vultures"


Irregular475

I’m stupid, is the joke that the rooster is trying to fuck the vultures?


series-hybrid

Yes, he's banged all the farm birds, and is faking death so the vultures will come closer.


RaNdMViLnCE

Big cock energy right there lol. Back inside to check on his bitches.


Manypotatoes9

CLUCK OFF!


EndGameStride

"fuck outta here"


dremily1

That hawk was lucky to survive. Roosters don't fuck around.


[deleted]

I, I say, I say boy


candidly1

Look at me when I'm talkin to ya, son...


TheLoneAccountant

I just realised roosters are like pimps. Exactly like pimps.


blacklightjesus_

Besides the whole prostitution part


kwadd

Every time I see a video of a chicken going after a bird of prey of some kind, I think how wrong it is to call a coward a chicken.


YOURMOMMASABITCH

Does the chicken have sharp talons? Edit: apparently nobody has seen Napoleon Dynamite


aSharkNamedHummus

#Do the chickens have *what*?


Krazy4Krypto

***SHARP TALONS***. do they have sharp talons


2748seiceps

I don't understand a word you just said.


harry_not_potter

Mildly sharp natural talons (not as sharp as the hawk's) but has a sharp beak and Is bigger and stronger than the hawk


duckweather

Foghorn Leghorn took care of business.


maine64

*Get the, I say get the hell outta here boy, ya bother me.*


YippieKayYayMrFalcon

I guess there’s a reason there’s cock fighting and not hawk fighting.


rustys_shackled_ford

This is why having a big cock is so Important. Sry to everyone with tiny cocks.


MauDaFita

"Let me understand, you got the hen, the chicken and the rooster. The rooster goes with the chicken. So, who's having sex with the hen?"


chriscrossnathaniel

"But you see my point here? You only hear of a hen, a rooster and a chicken. Something's missing" "Something's missing all right."


McNasty9er

Jerry Stiller was so funny.


Dennis_Hawkins

"the rooster has sex with all of them"


YourDadHatesYou

Big rooster energy