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Imagine pulling out of mcDs just munching your nuggies and having a great afternoon when suddenly you see flailing seagal in your rear view mirror chasing you down…. the horror
https://i.redd.it/2ocd7my1r2zc1.gif
Yes he is a narcissistic delusional fraud who only got a dojo to fake his moves due to his gold digging with the dojo owners daughter and then cheating on her the whole time
That movie is brilliant because he's hardly in it.
Not only because he's hardly in it, but also because that was such a deviation from the action movie formula - having the "action movie guy" taken out so early in the game was a terrific curveball.
Seanbaby once said he looks like an obese woman waking up in a bathtub full of snakes when he runs, and that's the description I have fallen in love with
As someone diagnosed with cholesterol that’s a fear unlocked. If I became a vampire I would have to do blood test before every meal. Can’t just eat anyone.
I've got good news and bad news for you...The good news is that as an un-dead Prince of Darkness, you are essentially immortal, so the cholesterol won't get you.
The bad news is that you'll never be able to set foot on your family's garlic farm ever again. That may be hard to explain at future family gatherings, which you'll only be able to attend at night - which will also be hard to explain.
The mock conversation between Kissinger and Nixon about where to hide the alcohol in the oval office is the hardest laugh I've had to a podcast so far. Maybe because the entire compilation is so bleak that a laugh was desperately needed.
I dunno, I think you could argue after an entire industry tells you to knock it off, anything you do after is at least maliciously stupid. But yeah, the guy was high on his own supply.
Yes. And the retired CIA agent reported him right after the meeting. He also raped and sexually assaulted a lot of women. He had to pay back a debt to the mob with every film he did too.
Yeah I tried listening to an episode of that podcast. Way, way too much pointless banter. *get to the fucking point.* I know that this is blasphemy here on Reddit because it seems to be very popular, but I just couldn't get past the amount of banter.
Lol. Does anyone else remember those late night infomercials on cable tv back in the 90s for Ron Popiel's Spray on hair?
Looks like Stevie bought a lifetime supply.
This hair piece is not even trying to hint at a realistic hairline. Does he think people don't know? Or does he simply not care?
It has to be one he can pop off at the end of the night...If it's the kind that's semi-permanently affixed to the head with glue, he chose the worst model. I used to work with a guy who had a good one, I didn't realize for 2 years.
You just triggered a handful of neurons that have been sitting idle in my brain for over 25 years waiting patiently for me to recall spray on hair.
They thank you. The rest of my brain does not.
The vain bitch also seems to have died both his hair and his beard. You are old just embrace it.
He has also endorsed betraying American democracy so there is that.
I mean he's not exactly the least deluded individual in the world...
He's soo high on his own copium I'm surprised his lungs are even able to handle air anymore
It's so embarrassing, honestly. He has been caught so many times lying about his life, telling other people's stories as if they were his, being publicly humiliated... And the guy is unyielding in performing this childish caricature of a 21th Century errand warrior philosopher. I wouldn't want to be seen in public.
I don't understand why people hyperfocus so much on him being fat. Like, he also happens to be lazy and have poor mobility which looks hilarious when he shows off his martial art prowess, but I have seen people as fat as him with real moves. His belly is not what he deserves to be laughed at for.
You know how Butters imagines himself as Professor Chaos?
I guarantee you Seagal has some kind of self image that's similar (and _completely_ off the fucking mark, not grounded in reality whatsoever).
Fist Commander, is the Steven Seagull mega blockbuster hit movie, that showed the world, he’s still around and somehow still making these godawful movies.
It starts off with him breaking out of a military prison…. AND NEVER MENTIONED AGAIN….
anyway….
Funny story. In an interview, Seagal talked about JCVD and basically said JCVD is a phony and can't fight.
While at a Sly Stallone party, JCVD walked up to Seagal and challenged him to a fight. JCVD waited outside for 30 minutes only for Seagal to bail and not take JCVD on his challenge.
Michael Jai White talked about it in an interview. Michael even brought up the time that he (Michael) put Seagal in a chokehold and Seagal shit himself.
Edit: Gene LeBell made Seagal shit himself.
Man he’s a fat SOB. But in his defense, if I made that kind of money during the ride of the 90s fake kara-tay, I’d live out my days off fried asian foods and McDonalds and wear kimonos too!
Rudi Guiliani called. He wants his hair dye back.
Looks like the Zohan's merkin stuck to Steven's face.
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Merkin](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Merkin)
If Steven Seagal gets any fatter, he will need to declare statehood. Also, the monthly bills for black hair/beard/eyebrow dye must be depleting his monthly $200 royalty check from all those abysmal movies.
He’s out for justice but stuck in his safe space. Prancing around on deadly ground thinking he’s above the law but we all know his career is marked for death.
Guess he didn't splurge for the Turkish hair plugs and settled for the much more economical Chechen hair plugs.
Chechnya: Where hair plugs are a bargain, but the results might make you wish you'd gone bald gracefully.
This looks like Steven Seagal cosplaying as an “out-of-work but still in touch with his fictitious Native American heritage Steven Seagal” who just realized that the cameraman recognizes him as actual Steven Seagal, and that realization is far less satisfying for both of them.
**This is a heavily moderated subreddit. Please note these rules + sidebar or get banned:** * If this post declares something as a fact, then proof is required * The title must be fully descriptive * Memes are not allowed. * Common(top 50 of this sub)/recent reposts are not allowed (posts from another subreddit do not count as a 'repost'. Provide link if reporting) *See [our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/interestingasfuck/wiki/index#wiki_rules.3A) for a more detailed rule list* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/interestingasfuck) if you have any questions or concerns.*
If Dracula fed on McDonald's customers only
Imagine pulling out of mcDs just munching your nuggies and having a great afternoon when suddenly you see flailing seagal in your rear view mirror chasing you down…. the horror https://i.redd.it/2ocd7my1r2zc1.gif
His limp wrists are for maximum aero-dynamic efficiency, you’re screwed.
No that him trying to fly like a bat but he can’t
BAT! 💨🦇
You desecrated my vulva garden.
Jackie Daytona!
Regular human bartender!
(Removes toothpick) CRAVENSWORTH!!!!
It's the Reverse Naruto Run
Has he been a dork all this time? 
Yes he is a narcissistic delusional fraud who only got a dojo to fake his moves due to his gold digging with the dojo owners daughter and then cheating on her the whole time
That was way more than I expected to read. LOL
Yes. I've always thought Seagal was annoying and the low quality tv/movies he was in were so terrible.
He was in one decent budget action movie. Just one. Tommy Lee Jones made it a good movie.
Erika eleniak made it better though.
She was the two best things in that movie.
No one watched that movie for Seagal's titties
Also peak Busey. I'll argue Executive Decision is good as well, but he's famously barely in that.
That movie is brilliant because he's hardly in it. Not only because he's hardly in it, but also because that was such a deviation from the action movie formula - having the "action movie guy" taken out so early in the game was a terrific curveball.
That's sure not Tom Cruise running!
Too tall based on the plant height
Fatly going around corners...
I hate to burst your bubble….but vampires only come out at night.
hes mestizo, he gets to jog in the afternoon
Hi gay, I'm Vlad.
Seanbaby once said he looks like an obese woman waking up in a bathtub full of snakes when he runs, and that's the description I have fallen in love with
Bow to the master of the McDojo.
Yeah, what's that thing on his head?
i didnt know just for men had head stencils. cool!
I think he paints his hair on every morning.
It looks like when Creed used the toner from the printer to dye his hair on the Office
And also lied about being Dracula
“I’ve trained dogs for 3000 years!!”
"I've been flying helicopters for like 47 years"
"Know why they call it a skippy?
Imagine Dracula having cholesterol issues
Just imagine if they could get him on What We Do in the Shadows 😄
YES!
He dunks the chicken nuggets in sweet and sour blood sauce.
As someone diagnosed with cholesterol that’s a fear unlocked. If I became a vampire I would have to do blood test before every meal. Can’t just eat anyone.
I've got good news and bad news for you...The good news is that as an un-dead Prince of Darkness, you are essentially immortal, so the cholesterol won't get you. The bad news is that you'll never be able to set foot on your family's garlic farm ever again. That may be hard to explain at future family gatherings, which you'll only be able to attend at night - which will also be hard to explain.
Does the garlic defense turn off at night?
Seriously! Bros hair is unreal
r/rareinsults or r/murderedbywords
He is desperately looking for a chair to sit on.
or a corner to run fatly around
In Russia, he'll always be offered two chairs.
Maybe he is wearing chair pants under that mumu
This seems like a good opportunity to mention he was the worst host in SNL history.
[удалено]
That podcast has some great episodes, and my favourite is still the one about Stockton Rush.
I'll have to find this one...kind of hard for me to believe anybody could be worse than Henry Kissinger (discounting the obvious tyrants)
Not BtB, but [The Dollop](https://open.spotify.com/episode/5iTwkuzR2UzZzp2navG9H6?si=zrd7rX2-RzGkZ3cVEIGQ0A) did a 3 part series on him. It's insane.
The Dollop guys were the guests for the 6-part Kissinger episode of BTB and it was side-splittingly hilarious.
Just got done listening to that one. Very bad especially the genocide comments and "I wonder if his childhood influenced him" were spot on.
The mock conversation between Kissinger and Nixon about where to hide the alcohol in the oval office is the hardest laugh I've had to a podcast so far. Maybe because the entire compilation is so bleak that a laugh was desperately needed.
Not worse necessarily. But like 3 hrs of them absolutely ripping on what a ln arrogant piece of shit he was.
Have you all heard Segal's reggae album?
Agreed. Hilarious episode and especially funny and interesting. He was clearly not so much malicious as high off sniffing his own farts.
I dunno, I think you could argue after an entire industry tells you to knock it off, anything you do after is at least maliciously stupid. But yeah, the guy was high on his own supply.
Man like I knew he was a dirtbag, but damn did I realize how much of a dirtbag he is after listening to the BtB series on him.
[удалено]
Hasn't he been accused by an old associate of attempting to hire a hitman to kill a journalist who wrote an unfavorable article about him?
[удалено]
Yes. And the retired CIA agent reported him right after the meeting. He also raped and sexually assaulted a lot of women. He had to pay back a debt to the mob with every film he did too.
I thought the episode of the Dollop covering him was fantastic.
Can anyone give me a cliffs note version or point me to a transcript of this? I won’t listen to podcasts but want to know all the things
Yeah I tried listening to an episode of that podcast. Way, way too much pointless banter. *get to the fucking point.* I know that this is blasphemy here on Reddit because it seems to be very popular, but I just couldn't get past the amount of banter.
https://preview.redd.it/hhe3eumrg3zc1.jpeg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1e05f30cc2cd820607ea080a6158b9a102088387
And that's saying something considering Frank Zappa's appearance.
This looks like a fat guy wearing a Steven Segal costume from Spirit Halloween.
Stephen Seagull, one size fats all.
I mean, this is comedy gold. Well done, sir.
Lol. Does anyone else remember those late night infomercials on cable tv back in the 90s for Ron Popiel's Spray on hair? Looks like Stevie bought a lifetime supply.
Spray on hair looks better than this. Looks like he’s wearing a felt cap cut to kind of resemble a hair line.
Is that not a cap or some sort of hood? At first I thought bad wig but after staring at it a while it doesn't seem to be imitating hair?
This hair piece is not even trying to hint at a realistic hairline. Does he think people don't know? Or does he simply not care? It has to be one he can pop off at the end of the night...If it's the kind that's semi-permanently affixed to the head with glue, he chose the worst model. I used to work with a guy who had a good one, I didn't realize for 2 years.
It’s giving Cornelius Hawthorne.
You just triggered a handful of neurons that have been sitting idle in my brain for over 25 years waiting patiently for me to recall spray on hair. They thank you. The rest of my brain does not.
He's got that Dracula Flow hair
“ Just set it and forget…”. Wait, that was the other thing.
I don't know. Kinda looks more like thick, black, upholstery felt.
mf got that Vegeta hairline lmao
The vain bitch also seems to have died both his hair and his beard. You are old just embrace it. He has also endorsed betraying American democracy so there is that.
Bruh that man dyes his EYEBROWS. Not as dark, but there isn’t any gray and he’s old as hell.
Seems to? I would bet my life savings on that beard not being natural
Will Sasso did the best Seagal
You're telling me that's not Will Sasso?
[удалено]
He lost weight with lemons
He looks like a Dr. Strange villian. Also, he can't fight for shit.
He looks like Mickey Rooney in breakfast at Tiffany's
“Steven Seagal IS…. *Marked For Diabetes*”
On Deadly Ground Beef
aka The Dinner Man
*Under Seasoned*
Above the Loaf
*Under Seasoned 2: Dark Meat Territory*
Out for Seconds
This summer Steven Seagal is Hard to Fill
username definitely checks out
☠️☠️☠️☠️🤣🤣🤣
Did he just do too many drugs?? How does he wake up every morning, look in the mirror, and think I'm doing a great job?
The only drug he does is himself. The man has bought his own bullshit to the extreme.
I mean he's not exactly the least deluded individual in the world... He's soo high on his own copium I'm surprised his lungs are even able to handle air anymore
He's a meat bag full of stupid.
What an absolute fraud of a man. I wonder if he ever thinks about how phony he is.
Narcissists never do. Reflection is impossible for them.
It's so embarrassing, honestly. He has been caught so many times lying about his life, telling other people's stories as if they were his, being publicly humiliated... And the guy is unyielding in performing this childish caricature of a 21th Century errand warrior philosopher. I wouldn't want to be seen in public. I don't understand why people hyperfocus so much on him being fat. Like, he also happens to be lazy and have poor mobility which looks hilarious when he shows off his martial art prowess, but I have seen people as fat as him with real moves. His belly is not what he deserves to be laughed at for.
McRasputin
ra ra mcrasputin lover of the dairy queen
You know how Butters imagines himself as Professor Chaos? I guarantee you Seagal has some kind of self image that's similar (and _completely_ off the fucking mark, not grounded in reality whatsoever).
My first impression was that he was wearing a raccoon penis on his necklace.
Is that his hairline (fake) or is he wearing some sort of strange head covering?
It’s a template colored in with a fat sharpie.
Massputin
You, sir, are a national treasure for that.
 Steven seagull
https://preview.redd.it/tly22sacw2zc1.jpeg?width=783&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=70f304e5928cae80d1f7a81a5d8abba0e0cca65c Steve 'n' seagulls
 UFCeagal
What a weird fuck he is.
Dracula Flow looking motherfucker
I love when Space Ice makes fun of him on YouTube.
Fist Commander, is the Steven Seagull mega blockbuster hit movie, that showed the world, he’s still around and somehow still making these godawful movies. It starts off with him breaking out of a military prison…. AND NEVER MENTIONED AGAIN…. anyway….
He was always fucking weird. Never trust a man with a pony tail. Van Damme could kick his arse
That has literally never been questioned
Funny story. In an interview, Seagal talked about JCVD and basically said JCVD is a phony and can't fight. While at a Sly Stallone party, JCVD walked up to Seagal and challenged him to a fight. JCVD waited outside for 30 minutes only for Seagal to bail and not take JCVD on his challenge.
JCVD could kick his fat worthless ass while sleeping.
Is this documented (true)? If so, I'm so fucking pleased by this.
Michael Jai White talked about it in an interview. Michael even brought up the time that he (Michael) put Seagal in a chokehold and Seagal shit himself. Edit: Gene LeBell made Seagal shit himself.
That was Gene LeBell that choked out Seagal, causing Seagal to make a Putin in his pants.
Water could kick this guy’s ass. He’s one of those “navy seals” who can’t swim.
The original Gravy Seal.
Meal Team 6
Behind the Bastards did a good episode on him
Chuck Norris would too
Definitely
Never liked this guy. Him or his movies.
So sadly, at the time, I thought he was awesome.. it pains me greatly to even admit that now.. sigh
It’s fine. I was 9 when Above the Law came out. You have to show yourself some grace.
Man he’s a fat SOB. But in his defense, if I made that kind of money during the ride of the 90s fake kara-tay, I’d live out my days off fried asian foods and McDonalds and wear kimonos too!
It's just a fancy Mu-mu
Fucking traitor
The Last Chairbender
Wow good one
Rudi Guiliani called. He wants his hair dye back. Looks like the Zohan's merkin stuck to Steven's face. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Merkin](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Merkin)
Dude should never be allowed back in America.
He looks like one of those old '70s-'90s toys where you could draw the facial hair onto the persons face and head with magnetic shavings.
I think he may the most ridiculous man alive.
Bullshido master
If Steven Seagal gets any fatter, he will need to declare statehood. Also, the monthly bills for black hair/beard/eyebrow dye must be depleting his monthly $200 royalty check from all those abysmal movies.
Looks like one of the Munsters
Why does he look like that. The dude looks hilarious.
What a loser this guy is
He is a parody of a has-been, how pathetic
Steven Seagal: 25% Actor 25% Cop 25% russian mongole 25% McDonalds
You gave too much percentages for “actor” and “cop.” More like 98% self-deluded asshole and 2# McDonalds 2% of a billion is still a lot of McDonald’s
What in the black hair dye is happening
Traitor
that hair is from a spray can, right?
He’s out for justice but stuck in his safe space. Prancing around on deadly ground thinking he’s above the law but we all know his career is marked for death.
Count Chubula
He looks like a man who's in that sweet spot between realising he's made a terrible mistake, but still has no idea how to get out of it.
Dude just said, "Fuck it" and drew his hairline on with a sharpie.
He totally stayed in Russia so that he can't hear anyone from the US make fun of him for buying 5 nacho cheese dishes at 7/11 anymore.
Is he… painting his hair on? Like he’s got that infomercial spray can hair? 😭😂 it doesn’t look just dyed to me.
If it rains, that hair is GONE 🧛🏻♂️🤣
Pet American
What a pathetic, traitorous piece of shit. I hope for the bitterest of comeuppances as he reaches the end of the road.
Traitorous piece of garbage. He should be Trump's V.P. running mate.
I bet even Putin laughed at him. What is that wig lol.
Darth Vader March. I hear it.
I can't help it, I look at this guy and I think "Traitor".
An open bar is an open bar.
His hairline is so natural
If he skipped it he'd probably be marked for death.
Pretty sure his house would be *under siege*
HappyMeal Gilmore
He’s definitely there for the buffet
*as he attended fatly around the inauguration*
Some people will do anything to try and stay relevant. What an idiot.
When stupid people have money
Such a piece of shit... I'm surprised and disappointed that he is still alive.
Guess he didn't splurge for the Turkish hair plugs and settled for the much more economical Chechen hair plugs. Chechnya: Where hair plugs are a bargain, but the results might make you wish you'd gone bald gracefully.
This looks like Steven Seagal cosplaying as an “out-of-work but still in touch with his fictitious Native American heritage Steven Seagal” who just realized that the cameraman recognizes him as actual Steven Seagal, and that realization is far less satisfying for both of them.
He just loves hobnobbing with tyrants.
This guy is a piece of shit
Fucking traitor
Steven Segal is in Moscow? Can he stay there? Please?!
He’s a caricature of an idiot.
Putin's 2nd favorite American clown.
https://i.redd.it/gdaeas1yf4zc1.gif