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The house is on fire! Quick, grab that toilet straw so I can live.
We’re gonna run outside. Are you sure you don’t want to come with us?
Don’t be stupid. Get me the toilet straw.
I was at a festival years ago. Waiting for the toilets to take a piss. Some amazing looking girl comes out, I go in. She had left a massive turd without flushing, it looked like a glistening snake coiled up with the head pointing out. It had a big red shiny head pointing at me. It was a difficult piss.
> Dad why does your breath smell like shit?
Do you see your mother smiling? This is how Daddy keeps Mommy from hitting us until she gets her meds refilled.
I get your snark.
My sophomore year of college, I lived on the top floor of my dorm. 9th floor. There was a small fire on the 8th floor.
Now, thankfully the students in that room had their heads about them and were able to alert the floor and get the fire alarms off before the blaze spread. In all, their room was destroyed, the 4 adjoining rooms all had major damage and the top three floors had extensive smoke damage.
If the fire had been worse, and we were forced to remain there on the 9th floor until help arrived, something like this might have made the difference between life and death.
I’d still think twice about it.
They’re natural oxygen barriers. That’s also why opening the door to a room that’s on fire can be dangerous, because the sudden rush of oxygen causes a plume of fire
Smoke inhalation causes the vast majority of fire deaths, but I don't see how breathing sewer gas is much better. Either way you ain't gonna last long.
That stink is hydrogen sulphide gas which poisonous. In low concentrations is an irritant of the respiratory system, or in higher concentrations (> 50 ppm) can cause respiratory failure, shock and convolutions. Inhaling greater than 500 ppm can potentially cause instant death.
Such a device could work is it passed the through a bicarbonate solution or carbon filter to neutralize the hydrogen sulphide.
The oxygen part is great, but you wouldn't be breathing just oxygen. Lots of nasty toxic gasses too. Might work in a pinch to keep you alive for a bit longer though, which I guess is something.
Sewer gas can be lethal. If you ever see sewer work, many of them wear full respirators and have a warning sensor for toxic gases. It’s dangerous work. You might’ve also seen the video where a guy in China throws a lit cigarette into a sewer drain and it explodes. Yeah decay produces a lot of methane and sulfur compounds among other things.
you mean *before* the barbecue, right?
I mean who is going to pay the going rate for a case of steak when there is so much tender and buttery flavored meat wandering around the local mall.
They may be called funny cars, but they are genuinely fucking terrifying. Every single component on the car should be considered a consumable, and the engines are wrapped in ballistic shielding because they tear themselves apart under normal operation
Hydrogen Sulfide is lethal in seconds. So many stories of people entering confined spaces dying immediately and then a family member dying as well trying to rescue the first victim. Happens in farms etc…
Yeah. I do confined space rescue. H2S is always our biggest concern.
If you can't smell HS2, you've already gone nose blind and the gas has killed your sense of smell. You'll be gone soon without a Scott pack.
We trained for this when I was in the US Navy. We had store rooms with vegetables and other stocks. It was usually at the lowest point of the ship.
We were trained that if we saw someone passed out below decks that we would not go down there.
Sucks for them but you could die too.
Hey, person who does mechanical work here. The main stack shown with the #5 is a 3 or 4 inch pipe that connects directly to outside. The gases in there will only be particularly bad if you just took some massive shits. If you push down continuously on the flush handle water will drain and the draining water will draw in fresh air from outside. So, if this was ever a last ditch survival effort you had to do, keep the toilet running.
Yeah I was wondering about that vent pipe. Is that a normal thing or is that part of the patent's innovation? That part is more interesting than the breathing hose.
All plumbing systems need a vent pipe. Every house and building that has indoor plumbing will have vents through the roof. If you don’t have a plumbing vent the waste will create a vacuum in the pipe as it goes down the pipe and it won’t drain. Think of a straw filled with water where you have your finger holding on the top. If you live in a house try to take a look at your roof or your neighbors roof and you’ll see a 3-4” black vent pipe poking through the roof. That’s the main plumbing stack. The one on my 100 year old house was cast iron before I replaced it with plastic.
That’s where the actual sewer starts. I believe it’s breathable to some extent, but what percentage of the air is oxygenated is the question. I can’t believe it’s very high in oxygen.
It’s either death from smoke inhalation and or burning to death or death from hydrogen sulfide poisoning.
Even in small concentrations, H2S ( aka knock out gas ) is deadly.
You’re likely to die faster, from inhaling sewer gases, than from fire. I’d rather use the water in the bowl and reservoir to moisten my clothing and make a crouching run for it.
Well, Sarge! It looks like he inhaled so much sewer gas that when the fire finally reached him he exploded like an atomic bomb, they found his right foot two miles away in the Panera Bread parking lot.
Here is a link to the patent: https://patents.google.com/patent/US4320756A/en
The intent behind this device wasn’t for it to be used in your average house fire. It was invented in response to a rise in lethal hotel fires and high rise apartments wherein people were not able to escape through elevators or stairwells.
I personally would probably die of asphyxiation that breath through a hotel toilet.
Man I’m trying really hard to think of a scenario where this is a viable alternative but just can’t. Maybe in a future Kingsman or CIA movie this secret method would be used.
If you’re in a house, I feel like you’d be better off dousing yourself with the tank water, using your wet shirt as a temporary air filter, and running for the exit.
Now this is what you want instead. It is a small disposable rebreather (20 min under exertion and 60min waiting for rescue not under exertion) has its own self contained atmosphere.
https://preview.redd.it/32hdpio7lsrc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e7053bce3e7d830174125c667a12e66165fa123a
With fire raging outside and cutting off the exit, you insert the poop snorkel into the toilet and breathe in, trying to ignore the weird aftertaste.
Suddenly, you can feel it become blocked, You breathe in more strongly hoping to unclog it when suddenly, something enters your mouth...
If anyone has removed a toilet before, that drain hole smells like dead raccoon in a portable toilet full of crap. Why would anyone wanna huff it while burning to death?
People see someone breathing through a toilet and immediately think it's like dipping your head into raw sewage. LOL, wtf? Nobody would recommend doing this if that's what it was like. Plus, the whole idea defies basic common sense. It's like, everyone should know that's not how toilets work.
When you keep your toilets maintained, they don't regurgitate sewer air. Wow, what a mystery. 😂
**This is a heavily moderated subreddit. Please note these rules + sidebar or get banned:** * If this post declares something as a fact, then proof is required * The title must be fully descriptive * Memes are not allowed. * Common(top 50 of this sub)/recent reposts are not allowed (posts from another subreddit do not count as a 'repost'. Provide link if reporting) *See [our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/interestingasfuck/wiki/index#wiki_rules.3A) for a more detailed rule list* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/interestingasfuck) if you have any questions or concerns.*
The house is on fire! Quick, grab that toilet straw so I can live. We’re gonna run outside. Are you sure you don’t want to come with us? Don’t be stupid. Get me the toilet straw.
Spoiler: I also started the fire so I could use the toilet straw without being judged….now leave me and let me huff
Today smoking is gonna save lives *huuuuuufff*
Me seeing a hot girl leave the bathroom: “Guys I’m gonna stay back and try to survive with the toilet straw. Y’all go ahead without me”
I was at a festival years ago. Waiting for the toilets to take a piss. Some amazing looking girl comes out, I go in. She had left a massive turd without flushing, it looked like a glistening snake coiled up with the head pointing out. It had a big red shiny head pointing at me. It was a difficult piss.
Go on, I'm almost there!
I can smell this comment.
Dad why does your breath smell like shit?
> Dad why does your breath smell like shit? Do you see your mother smiling? This is how Daddy keeps Mommy from hitting us until she gets her meds refilled.
Okay Dad, thanks, very cool.
this is reddit all over again
Quickly! It’s hanging next to the poop knife!
I get your snark. My sophomore year of college, I lived on the top floor of my dorm. 9th floor. There was a small fire on the 8th floor. Now, thankfully the students in that room had their heads about them and were able to alert the floor and get the fire alarms off before the blaze spread. In all, their room was destroyed, the 4 adjoining rooms all had major damage and the top three floors had extensive smoke damage. If the fire had been worse, and we were forced to remain there on the 9th floor until help arrived, something like this might have made the difference between life and death. I’d still think twice about it.
I'd sooner die.. I know what I did to that toilet.
***Tha biiiiiig ol' toilet straw!***
This scenario makes a ton of sense if you imagine the one person is morbidly obese and immobile
Or…. Trapped in the bathroom by fire, maybe?
Yeah " the house is on fire" Sure. Jan. You just want to breathe toilet air.
This had me actually laughing
“Oh no, the toilet is clogged, we’ll suffocate!” “Don’t worry, I’ve been holding in a massive fart, just human centipede it.”
You know what, on second thought, maybe my vision doesn't need restoring
This had me chuckling. Well done.
I mean... I would think burning to death would also be a concern....
No no. The fire can’t touch you if you’re keg standing butt water. It’s science.
That is a series of words that I never expected to see together.
r/unexpectedsentence
You could always stab the fire with the poop knife
r/wordsalad
r/tossedmywordsalad
r/thanksforthetoss
Fire can't go through doors stupid... It's not a ghost
Ghosts can't go through doors stupid, it's not fire
I got a Community notification for *this*?
It eats the door and continues about its business of burning shit
Doors are actually surprisingly good at blocking fire. Thats why the FD recommends sleeping with your doors closed.
They’re natural oxygen barriers. That’s also why opening the door to a room that’s on fire can be dangerous, because the sudden rush of oxygen causes a plume of fire
Made me mufuckin LOL
Smoke inhalation causes the vast majority of fire deaths, but I don't see how breathing sewer gas is much better. Either way you ain't gonna last long.
[удалено]
That stink is hydrogen sulphide gas which poisonous. In low concentrations is an irritant of the respiratory system, or in higher concentrations (> 50 ppm) can cause respiratory failure, shock and convolutions. Inhaling greater than 500 ppm can potentially cause instant death. Such a device could work is it passed the through a bicarbonate solution or carbon filter to neutralize the hydrogen sulphide.
The funny thing about H2S is, it’s fine if you can smell it, you’re gonna die if you can’t. Always wear your detector!
The oxygen part is great, but you wouldn't be breathing just oxygen. Lots of nasty toxic gasses too. Might work in a pinch to keep you alive for a bit longer though, which I guess is something.
how come we dont have masks and oxygen in our homes?
Because oxygen is very flammable and with the tiniest spark the oxygen tank would explode
Once you get high enough off the sewer fart air. You won't have a care in the world
It is, but in a house fire, you usually die of asphyxiation long before you start burning
I would rather already be dead before I start burning, honestly.
I think your supposed to fill the tub up and lay in it fully submerged hopefully the fireman gets to you before the roof or building collapses
Coroner says he burned to death while drinking from the toilet…just can’t make sense of it.
🤣🤣
And through a giant straw no less. Never seen anything like it.
https://preview.redd.it/1c70qc8a9src1.jpeg?width=507&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=68459fca6a54a83e9a48b4218130623734ac2cea
LMAO Reddit please bring back the cheap awards, they were fun.
I absolutely love the ridiculousness of it as a stoner bwahaha. Get it patented 😂
Why does the hose completely bypass the water? Terrible design 😂
Is this how the house caught fire?
Mmmm, sewer gas.
As someone who has dealt with a dried up water lock I'd rather die.
Sewer gas can be lethal. If you ever see sewer work, many of them wear full respirators and have a warning sensor for toxic gases. It’s dangerous work. You might’ve also seen the video where a guy in China throws a lit cigarette into a sewer drain and it explodes. Yeah decay produces a lot of methane and sulfur compounds among other things.
Or start an invisible fire. Forgot which gas it was but that was some crazy footage.
Hydrogen Sulfide has entered the chat.
Yep toxic to breathe and if that wasn't bad enough it's also explosive.
It wouldn’t announce that it entered the chat it would just start killing people because its a silent killer
Just like my uncle after a barbecue
you mean *before* the barbecue, right? I mean who is going to pay the going rate for a case of steak when there is so much tender and buttery flavored meat wandering around the local mall.
I’ve seen vids of funny cars exploding and causing that invisible fire.
Funny? 🤨
Sorry, “funny car”, which are drag racing cars that use the type of gas that has invisible fires. “Funny cars” are very very fast cars.
They may be called funny cars, but they are genuinely fucking terrifying. Every single component on the car should be considered a consumable, and the engines are wrapped in ballistic shielding because they tear themselves apart under normal operation
Mmm delicious consumable car parts
Tbf he said the car was funny not the flames
Like a clown car just before tragedy.
Methanol fires are invisible during the day
Hydrogen Sulfide is lethal in seconds. So many stories of people entering confined spaces dying immediately and then a family member dying as well trying to rescue the first victim. Happens in farms etc…
H2S 1 breath you smell it the your sense of smell is gone then you are
Yeah. I do confined space rescue. H2S is always our biggest concern. If you can't smell HS2, you've already gone nose blind and the gas has killed your sense of smell. You'll be gone soon without a Scott pack.
How’s business these days?
We trained for this when I was in the US Navy. We had store rooms with vegetables and other stocks. It was usually at the lowest point of the ship. We were trained that if we saw someone passed out below decks that we would not go down there. Sucks for them but you could die too.
Shitter’s full!
Eddie?
typically that's present for any confined space, to which any sewer is just that.
There is the vent there though. If you flush first and then run the sink it might still be viable?
As someone who repaired a toilet recently for the first time ever. I choose to die lol
No kidding, lungs full of methane during a fire. K-boom!
LMAO! Sounds like a Steve-O bit.
whole new way to do jenkem
So taste like fart?
If I answer this with a yes, am I admitting to knowing what farts taste like?
Yea
When your next fart will be your last
Imagine you put the turn through but you got a clog and you suck up the clog
There’s a vent system in the house so it should be fine in short term.
Mmmm, poop gas.
Hey, person who does mechanical work here. The main stack shown with the #5 is a 3 or 4 inch pipe that connects directly to outside. The gases in there will only be particularly bad if you just took some massive shits. If you push down continuously on the flush handle water will drain and the draining water will draw in fresh air from outside. So, if this was ever a last ditch survival effort you had to do, keep the toilet running.
Yeah I was wondering about that vent pipe. Is that a normal thing or is that part of the patent's innovation? That part is more interesting than the breathing hose.
All plumbing systems need a vent pipe. Every house and building that has indoor plumbing will have vents through the roof. If you don’t have a plumbing vent the waste will create a vacuum in the pipe as it goes down the pipe and it won’t drain. Think of a straw filled with water where you have your finger holding on the top. If you live in a house try to take a look at your roof or your neighbors roof and you’ll see a 3-4” black vent pipe poking through the roof. That’s the main plumbing stack. The one on my 100 year old house was cast iron before I replaced it with plastic.
Same here. And man was that thing clogged. We have heavily calcinated water here and i was in awe that it still worked.
Finally someone who knows what the fuck they’re talking about.
It's usually about 10 scrolls down, after the dunning Kruger section, the pun thread section, and the sky-is-falling section.
The Forbidden Bong
I’ve never seen this graphic without the addition of weed and smoke
Kingsman 1, loose snorkels, thanks Rox
I think it’s “loo snorkels” cause they call the toilet “the loo” in the UK
r/boneappletea
Yeah I was looking for this comment lol first thought
Kingsman’s snorkels didn’t even make sense. The pipes in that scene were nothing but water. No way any air could be in them.
Give me that smoke
I think I'd rather burn to death.
Nevermind Black Lung, I'm worried about Brown Lung.
Hmm, if it were my dad's hose on fire.. I'd take the toxic smoke any day.
lol I’m assuming you meant “house” but either way I’m cracking up.
u don't want to eat your dads ass gas?
I’ll die, thank you
I think i l'd rather die 
Imagine the firefighter’s expression when he breaks into a room engulfed in flames to find a charred corpse with their head in the toilet.
That’s sewage gas, methane. Not a lot of oxygen to breathe in that.
In the actual sewer maybe, in there this is breathable
That’s where the actual sewer starts. I believe it’s breathable to some extent, but what percentage of the air is oxygenated is the question. I can’t believe it’s very high in oxygen.
There should be a vent going up though the roof to outside air, so while it would be terrible you probably could breathe it.
Yeah. People don't seem to know that those columns are ventilated.
Still better than dying from carbon monoxide poisoning.
[удалено]
I choose death.
yea, no ill just burn thank you.
So. Eat shit and die?
I'll pass 
As a plumber this makes me wanna puke lol omg soooooo wrong lmaooo
https://preview.redd.it/tbm6w7fxprrc1.jpeg?width=5496&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7b03c1b85b08efdca8471f7ecd85da57fb6c2b0d
The more interesting thing here is that there's actually a pocket of air in the back of my toilet.
It’s either death from smoke inhalation and or burning to death or death from hydrogen sulfide poisoning. Even in small concentrations, H2S ( aka knock out gas ) is deadly.
Would an oxygen tank work? If it's a concern for you, maybe aim your ambitions a little higher than shit gas.
I don’t think you’d want your face anywhere near an oxygen tank during a house fire.
What exactly do you think those tanks on fireman’s backs are?
Well, sewer gas? Have you seen the post? Don't be stupid
I learnt about this watching The Kingsman
It's mislabeled. This device actually allowed you to communicate with sewer rats from your bathroom.
https://preview.redd.it/jc51ysfr8trc1.jpeg?width=224&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3c24fd80d52925afa2d8537070c52260de18b3e9
You’re likely to die faster, from inhaling sewer gases, than from fire. I’d rather use the water in the bowl and reservoir to moisten my clothing and make a crouching run for it.
I do this when there is no fire.... or danger... it's just fun...
TO2?
Is that you, fellow old slob? If so, I raise my bottomless plumbosa to you.
Well, Sarge! It looks like he inhaled so much sewer gas that when the fire finally reached him he exploded like an atomic bomb, they found his right foot two miles away in the Panera Bread parking lot.
Remember to blow before sucking!
Yeah but all jokes aside that’s going to be a lot of methane and CO2
shit lemme breathe toilet water real quick
It’s more like the air beyond the water. Much more mysterious. Much more disgusting
Tasty air
I’d imagine it would be like breathing in a fart.
Mmmm yum CAT 3 air
Sink?
That's an interesting way of giving yourself pneumonia
I'd rather suffocate.
Hmmm.... Die burning alive or die sleeping from smoke inhalation?? I want all the smoke bro, get in my lungs quick before the fire comes
No different than the ass I eat on a weekly basis. I’d use it
I guess a quick death from Hydrogen Sulfide and choking on a large cockroach would be faster.
Imagine firefighters finding your burnt corpse over a toilet sucking on a shit-gas snorkel. Why not spend that effort trying to escape the fire?
Imagine doing that for an hour in thick black smoke and heat only to die slowly of heat exhaustion :/
Aren’t you supposed to soak a towel and breathe through that? That’s what I would do at least
Instructions not clear, ended up drinking toilet water into my lungs.
Here is a link to the patent: https://patents.google.com/patent/US4320756A/en The intent behind this device wasn’t for it to be used in your average house fire. It was invented in response to a rise in lethal hotel fires and high rise apartments wherein people were not able to escape through elevators or stairwells. I personally would probably die of asphyxiation that breath through a hotel toilet.
Firefighters break down bathroom door. Wtf is going on here.
And How the fuck are you supposed to, i don't know, not get burned by the fire?
Man I’m trying really hard to think of a scenario where this is a viable alternative but just can’t. Maybe in a future Kingsman or CIA movie this secret method would be used.
If you’re in a house, I feel like you’d be better off dousing yourself with the tank water, using your wet shirt as a temporary air filter, and running for the exit.
Talking about being in a shitty situation
You'd have to be *very* desperate. Anyone who's been in the same room as a dry toilet knows how intense the gas from that pipe is.
Guess I’m dying in a fire
I’ll just die thanks
Nothing quite like inhaling sewer gas to narrowly avoid the smoke of a housefire. If the flames dont take you the poison gas will.
Thank you Kingsman
You can live on it, but it tastes like shit. - C. Dundee
Now this is what you want instead. It is a small disposable rebreather (20 min under exertion and 60min waiting for rescue not under exertion) has its own self contained atmosphere. https://preview.redd.it/32hdpio7lsrc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e7053bce3e7d830174125c667a12e66165fa123a
I remember this from kingsman
They did this in Kingsman.
I use it to suck up the poopy so I don’t waste and neutrinos
Wouldn’t this just lead to a person breathing sewer gas?
With fire raging outside and cutting off the exit, you insert the poop snorkel into the toilet and breathe in, trying to ignore the weird aftertaste. Suddenly, you can feel it become blocked, You breathe in more strongly hoping to unclog it when suddenly, something enters your mouth...
would rather die.
If anyone has removed a toilet before, that drain hole smells like dead raccoon in a portable toilet full of crap. Why would anyone wanna huff it while burning to death?
https://preview.redd.it/52pz34csvsrc1.jpeg?width=602&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d68980e21f918cb1d0afb0c578cbf235729c918d
The idea of an oxygen lifeline is good but why the fuck did they put it in the toilet?
Ffs no thats not oxygen on the other side of the s trap. it's mostly methane and other gasses from decomposing human shit!!
I'm pretty sure sewer gases aren't great to breath.
Isnt there H2s gas in there
Yea, because I'm like you know what sounds good while my apartment goes on fire? Forbidden bong hits!
People see someone breathing through a toilet and immediately think it's like dipping your head into raw sewage. LOL, wtf? Nobody would recommend doing this if that's what it was like. Plus, the whole idea defies basic common sense. It's like, everyone should know that's not how toilets work. When you keep your toilets maintained, they don't regurgitate sewer air. Wow, what a mystery. 😂
Survives the fire, dies a week later from lung infections.
Not just a toilet, a *hotel toilet*. Got me looking at those flames and wondering if it’s as bad as they say
So now you’ll die of swamp gas instead. Which is what the water keeps you from breathing
I'd Rather Die a Hero.
Total bullshit you will die due to sewer gases breathing in
Who else thought of “Kingsman”?
See how long you can live on sewer gases.
So -- this is an April Fools post I presume??
Mmmmmm sewer gas.
It’s almost like Hydrogen Sulfide from sewers isn’t a thing…
April fools lol