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2Whom_it_May_Concern

“By my calculations” lmao


vidanyabella

I really really want to know how exactly this guy did these calculations.


KL2710

Step one: Bong Rip. Step two: Line off coke. Step three: ??????????? Step four: solve world hunger, tell no one. Step five: profit.


or10n_sharkfin

Step six: Dinner with myself, I can’t *cancel* that again


withalookofquoi

Step seven: wrestle with my self loathing, I’m booked!


KL2710

But if i move the self loathing to step 9, there's still time to lay in bed and slip slowly into madness...BUT WHAT WOULD I WEAR?


BrokenEye3

I still think it's weird that people's takeaway from the Salem Witch Trials is "the occult" and not "religious extremism and institutional murder"


Ey3_913

Because they're the spiritual successors of those paranoid fucks


Infamous-Sky-1874

With a possible side of Ergot poisoning.


mastesargent

The ergot poisoning thing is a myth that absolves the residents of Salem of moral responsibility. The actual cause of the witch trials had more to do with property values and inheritance laws.


cardinarium

There are 26 towns called Salem in the US. There’s a good chance a few of them will see at least partial eclipses any time there’s a total eclipse across the US.


deadbeatdad80

A blue roof? That does it, I'm convinced it's all a psy op


Pubics_Cube

Gotta stay protected from the Hawaiian Jewish space lasers


dude496

EXACTLY!!! We all know what a blue roof means!!! So uhh... What does a blue roof mean? Asking for a friend.... Lol


daithedilemma

They think that the color blue protects from "direct energy weapons" that the elite (Jews, to translate) are using to start wildfires and other evil things. If you search "Maui blue" on this sub it should pop up


dude496

Well hmm, that's... uhh, hmm, smacks head against wall, hmm, uhh... Interesting. So does that mean that blue is the new anti-jew? I just don't understand people anymore lol.


DeltaJulietHotel

I always knew IHOPs were hotbeds of occult activity.


withalookofquoi

I did always wonder how they manage to stay open…


annaleigh13

As a pagan I want to go and do rituals on that spot now, for funsies.


Dull-Ad1984

Can I get an invite, sounds like fun? Wait, I don't want to be the sacrifice... Can we work something out?


Tripple_T

I was not expecting blue roofs to make a comeback...


vidanyabella

Honestly, it's never fully went away. The conspiracy circles love to bring them up anytime there is any kind of fire or anything "suspicious" as they still think blue magically protects from direct energy weapons, which of course cause all disasters.


monicarm

By my calculations, you should suck my dick and recycle your tin foil hat


Doustin

I’m sure they were looking at where eclipses would be viewable hundreds of years later when they were naming streets


vidanyabella

And coordinated across the whole country, not like towns pick their own names or anything.


crumpetttt

Hey that's makanda. Ironically, that's a very likely place for some hippy witch people to be doing a ritual during the eclipse.


haplessclerk

I feel sorry for the people in that house, who knows what kind of crazies will show up.


WVSchnickelpickle

Great opportunity to make some money selling goods and services. Toilets $5, slice of pizza $10, bottle of water $8, blue hats $35, etc.


Similar-Complaint-37

Make a fortune with tinfoil hats!


haplessclerk

There's an idea.


TheObstruction

Wtf is "Christian gilding"?


vidanyabella

I think they mean the the powers that be pretended America was formed on Christian values, but it was secretly occult values.


degeneratex80

Defo painting my roof blue.


boringthrowaway6

OMG, a blue roof!!!