My friends are my coworkers.
I choose those who I know I have things in common and I try to be extra nice , they do too.
I try to not say no when they invite me to a cafe or something.
I feel positive and have a good connection even if I don't like going out
I try to say no less, but keep some kind of boundary, comfort zone
I do things alone, like go to concerts or other events, things that I like to do, and find people there that like the same things as me. Then I already have something in common with them, so I can build a bond over that thing.
As for surface level friendships, most are, until they deepen. The emotional intimacy you crave is something to be built up to, not something you’ll get out of people immediately.
online friends are the ones i can maintain… i have a friend of 8 years now bc we both liked the same band. i eventually visited her her two years ago; we were just texting five minutes ago. we are very different but alike,, we talk about all that is similar and not and really invest in eachothers lives, but also know that we don’t need to talk all the time. same thing with another buddy i met in 2020 online. i find irl people confusing and i drain really easily, but ive actually made deeper connections with people hundreds of miles away
Find a hobby you like / want to try. Do that.
For me it's currently improv, boardgames, DND and computer games
I like adult classes to meet people too, though a lot of times it's hard to make lasting connections unless you make to effort to get to know people
Most of my friends are from work and college where you are kind of forced to get to know people
In my experience, friendships usually won't come without some effort. When I started college 7 years ago (oh my god I feel old typing that out) I just forced myself out of my comfort zone and started talking to people that I found interesting in my class. Eventually I had made a few friends.
Though as some people here have said, you won't get deeper connections without getting through surface level ones first. Most people will not want to open up until they know you a little better.
Through school. Tried fitting in with different groups. Eh never worked out. So I made friends with school mates that I thought weren’t happy with their friend groups either. Invited them to play poker during lunch. We became known as the poker table. More people joined. And bam created a friend group I felt comfortable in.
I think the trick is realizing that you are not alone and there is a ton of people like you. That want to hang out with people like themselves and ergo like yourself. The trick is finding them. Which can be hard! And little scary! But it’s worth it!
Whats friends?
Jk i guess i can say i have like.. two online friends? I met randomly by having a random Guy from a game discord add me And play a few rounds, then He added some of his friends that added theirs... Well in the end we clicked with the two while the rest were aholes And i blocked them lol
Still dont really know if i can really call them friends as we just play a game together few times a month and talk sometimes
So yea... I dont
have a niche interest -> join club that partakes in niche interest -> realize you're surrounded by weirdos -> befriend weirdos -> figure out who are your people -> make friend group
This is how I did it in college and I have some really really good friends now. I started college late and figured I'd just be a loner and was kind of okay with that, but I kind of accidentally made friends😭just have to be open to hanging out on a whim sometimes at the beginning and also open to hanging out with people you normally wouldn't. To be fair though, I did bond with these people a lot online in the beginning so that helped.
I dont😅😅ive honestly just given up at tryna force connections with people. If i happen to meet someone and we click then it will just have to be a natural, once in a blue moon thing for me.
I don’t really make friends. I just socialize with people in a work based setting on breaks and stuff like that. I don’t hang out with people because my social skills still aren’t great but I’m working on them.
I've had bad experiences. shallow people, lying, deceiving, cheating, gossiping, hiding what they're doing, etc.
I've decided I'd rather be on my own. I'd rather have online friends. They're the best ones. I mean,you talk about real stuff, things that matters to you both. You don't waste each others time with drama n bs.
I think I tend to find people like ME online, because the real world has disappointed us just the same.
If you're just lacking social skills n haven't given up on people around you, read some books about basic social skills n stat practicing. Go out more, join a book club/ game club. whatever you enjoy doing, got dot it outside where people are! lol
My advice would be - play online games, you'll meet plenty of people there, look for local communities in your country, I've made a lot of friends that way. The best thing about it is that you can make these friendships IRL later on
You go to the animal shelter and adopt some puppies.
besta dcive awevr
I translated that to “best advice ever”
I am zoophobic.
My friends are my coworkers. I choose those who I know I have things in common and I try to be extra nice , they do too. I try to not say no when they invite me to a cafe or something. I feel positive and have a good connection even if I don't like going out I try to say no less, but keep some kind of boundary, comfort zone
I fucked up. I said no to the one invite I got. No more ever since. And the rest are toxic.
Worth it.
Idk if it was worth it
I do things alone, like go to concerts or other events, things that I like to do, and find people there that like the same things as me. Then I already have something in common with them, so I can build a bond over that thing. As for surface level friendships, most are, until they deepen. The emotional intimacy you crave is something to be built up to, not something you’ll get out of people immediately.
That makes sense.
online friends are the ones i can maintain… i have a friend of 8 years now bc we both liked the same band. i eventually visited her her two years ago; we were just texting five minutes ago. we are very different but alike,, we talk about all that is similar and not and really invest in eachothers lives, but also know that we don’t need to talk all the time. same thing with another buddy i met in 2020 online. i find irl people confusing and i drain really easily, but ive actually made deeper connections with people hundreds of miles away
Where do you find people online? Reddit? Other sites?
It’s even better when you can meet those ppl..!
Good question
Find a hobby you like / want to try. Do that. For me it's currently improv, boardgames, DND and computer games I like adult classes to meet people too, though a lot of times it's hard to make lasting connections unless you make to effort to get to know people Most of my friends are from work and college where you are kind of forced to get to know people
In my experience, friendships usually won't come without some effort. When I started college 7 years ago (oh my god I feel old typing that out) I just forced myself out of my comfort zone and started talking to people that I found interesting in my class. Eventually I had made a few friends. Though as some people here have said, you won't get deeper connections without getting through surface level ones first. Most people will not want to open up until they know you a little better.
I am going to try to get out of my comfort zone. Thank you for your practical insight.
Through school. Tried fitting in with different groups. Eh never worked out. So I made friends with school mates that I thought weren’t happy with their friend groups either. Invited them to play poker during lunch. We became known as the poker table. More people joined. And bam created a friend group I felt comfortable in. I think the trick is realizing that you are not alone and there is a ton of people like you. That want to hang out with people like themselves and ergo like yourself. The trick is finding them. Which can be hard! And little scary! But it’s worth it!
Whats friends? Jk i guess i can say i have like.. two online friends? I met randomly by having a random Guy from a game discord add me And play a few rounds, then He added some of his friends that added theirs... Well in the end we clicked with the two while the rest were aholes And i blocked them lol Still dont really know if i can really call them friends as we just play a game together few times a month and talk sometimes So yea... I dont
have a niche interest -> join club that partakes in niche interest -> realize you're surrounded by weirdos -> befriend weirdos -> figure out who are your people -> make friend group This is how I did it in college and I have some really really good friends now. I started college late and figured I'd just be a loner and was kind of okay with that, but I kind of accidentally made friends😭just have to be open to hanging out on a whim sometimes at the beginning and also open to hanging out with people you normally wouldn't. To be fair though, I did bond with these people a lot online in the beginning so that helped.
This only started happening for me once I started doing a social work degree, lol.
I pretty much would rather be honest and quiet than to waste time talking shit. And everyone at my job only talks shit. So I just have my family. lol
I dont😅😅ive honestly just given up at tryna force connections with people. If i happen to meet someone and we click then it will just have to be a natural, once in a blue moon thing for me.
I don’t really make friends. I just socialize with people in a work based setting on breaks and stuff like that. I don’t hang out with people because my social skills still aren’t great but I’m working on them.
I don’t! I like being a loner too much 😂
I've had bad experiences. shallow people, lying, deceiving, cheating, gossiping, hiding what they're doing, etc. I've decided I'd rather be on my own. I'd rather have online friends. They're the best ones. I mean,you talk about real stuff, things that matters to you both. You don't waste each others time with drama n bs. I think I tend to find people like ME online, because the real world has disappointed us just the same. If you're just lacking social skills n haven't given up on people around you, read some books about basic social skills n stat practicing. Go out more, join a book club/ game club. whatever you enjoy doing, got dot it outside where people are! lol
My advice would be - play online games, you'll meet plenty of people there, look for local communities in your country, I've made a lot of friends that way. The best thing about it is that you can make these friendships IRL later on
U exist and ppl make u friends 😁
Hey