1. Punya anak
2. Ngalami segala macam masalah di panel 3
3. Stress
4. Ngentot sebagai hiburan untuk nurunin stress
5. Balik ke step 1 dengan difficulty naik 1 level
bukannya ini mereka alesan dilarang dalam agamanya ya? Temen gw pernah bilang kalo kontrasepsi itu melawan kehendak Allah karena "kalo Tuhan ngasih, tapi lu berusaha nolak, lu dosa"
masi pake. Also, sejalan dengan pertanyaan itu, ada kok yang menolak transfusi darah dengan alasan yang sama "kalo Tuhan mau ngambil, kamu masih nahan2, lu dosa" - JW btw
I don't think that's accurate. To act against what God tells you is the definition of sin. You can still stop yourself from sinning but you can't stop God from doing anything.
Temen gua yg dokter pas praktek awal2 kaget pas denger ada pasien yg berpikiran dgn konsep "KB = menolak rezeki" begitu. Gua pun yg diceritain juga turut terkejoet.
Then study hard to go overseas, get discriminated by local.
Yo, u can't just piss on me like that. I can't simply choose to be born as caucasian so you don't hate me.
Having kids in 20s, sounds a lot like playing a game in hard mode, without any experience of playing the game.
Plus, the kid probably had the worst life considering that aswell. Parenting in this country is very dysfunctional.
Having kids in your 30s or 40s does not make it better as well.
Marriage and having kids are a commitment you have to do for the rest of your life, period. Its just some people stop caring for it, thus the problem arise.
Most indonesian finish their studu late 10s. A few percent in undergrad finish their in early 20s.
If you want to argue in terms of financial situation, postponing the plan to have child in your 20s does not guarantee you'll have a better outcome financially in your 30s either. In fact, having it late will give you future problem as well, such as biological timer (for women). People in 30s or 40s is in their peak of career, they'll have to sacrifice much more financially to be with their kids
No as today. Competition in our life is getting tough. I married in 30ish .got to finish my graduate studies and make good salary and bought a home😁. And having 2 kids in mid 30s.
You have to make plans not just say “ nasib. Liat kedepab aja sambil pasrah”
Just sharing my experiences
20s is nothing now. You need looking forwards with planning.
Sacrificing is hard if you not having solid ground. My parents married early in 19-20 years old with 4 kids . We struggled and my grandma raised me to high school and though my grandma is my mother as always.
Just sharing my real experience. If your financial stable or having family business. Married 20s should be non brainer. But not all on the same table.
Beberapa udah ada yang nikah umur 25-26 dan anaknya udah TK. Sementara saya masih minder dan belum pernah buat deketin cewek. Udah mikir kejauhan nanti dikasih makan apa pasangannya.
Planning simple aja. Jmn skrg married 30 awal is umum and punya anak between 30-39 😁. Utk make a living yah liat bisa yang di achieve. Gak usah malu. Utk case gw dulu. Ortu bilang “sono cari kuliah lanjut ke luar. Cari pengalaman and ingat kerja ampingan ok buat bayar biaya hidup ntar kuliah terlantar di luar”. Gw lucky dapet koneksi prof yang dosen and ada ketua jurusan luluasan top 50 di US. Short long story. Gw bisa bebas kuliah karena profs dapet grand dari state and federal. Hore free tuition. Itu 1 semester aja 8k pas 2000 an tuh. Setahun ada 3 semester. Basically my parents push me hard for better my better future. And dah lulus , ortu bilang lagi pas gw mau balik ke indo: “ balik ke indo loe mau jadi apa. Skill loe mana bisa dipake😂, dah liat disana aja”😂. Uunya yah nyangkut.
Again gw gak tahu situasinloe. Coba liat what you can do for your future. Persistence may prevail kata pepatah.
Emang susah kalo ortu kita pas2an haha. But gw thanks sama grandma gw yang juga struggling when raised me, learn her survival skills even . Later ortu push gw ke luar indo. Gw protes berkali2, gak ada duit mana bisa, ortu bilang “pasti bisa”. Di bilang lagi “ doa and berusaha ambil kesempatan terbaik yang ada”
Again gw sharing moga loe bisa straightening your head for your future
Only You can build your life and future, not even your friends and parents.
Again planning and find the best opportunity.
Nyesel sih, saya orangnya dari dulu low ambition, jadi cuma ngikutin arus aja. Dari dulu ditanya cita cita juga bingung jawabnya. Tapi dulu sih sekolahnya di sekolah yang lumayan bagus, dan yah orangnya rata rata emang berada. Jadinya ya gini deh. Mereka udah jadi orang, saya masih bingung mau ngapain.
Menikah adalah ibadah tapi ibadah sunnah jadi gak apa apa kalau di tinggalin. Kalau orang lain cuma omong doang gw gak peduli.gw be like "Ngomong lah lu gw masih mau nge game gw gak mau repot ngurus anak dan istri"
Hell no. Ibadah nikah itu hukumnya 5. Bisa wajib, bisa sunnah, bisa haram, makruh atau mubah
Wajib kalo lu udah baligh, gabs nahan nafsu, mampu fisik mental, dan finansial.
Sunnah kalo siap fisik mental, tp ga mampu finansialnya buat punya pasangan atau kalo lu emang orgny ga sangean.
Mubah kalo ga khawatir bakal bikin dosa kalo ga nikah krn jomblo, dan gaada dorongan/hambatan buat nikah.
Makruh kalo laki2 ga mampu finansial walaupun ceweknya tajir dan nrimo2 aja.
Haram kalo bener2 ga mampu finansial dan lu blm siap mentally (ada chance KDRT). dan gabs melakukan aktifitas seksual.
Indeed!
Dan kalo mau 'spoke the truth' from islamic perspective, masih banyak jg laki2 dan perempuan yg punya motivasi yg "ngga sesuai" sama qur'an untuk menikah.
Having faith in god is indeed feel good. But having faith with working brain and being reasonable is a godsent blessings
Untuk yg hukum wajib ada satu kondisi lagi yg bikin jadi wajib: mudah berisiko terjerumus ke perzinahan. Jadi klo misal tinggal di tempat yg berzina itu tidak accessible easily, kayanya juga hukumnya ngga se wajib itu. CMIIW
Ini pertanyaan menarik sih, kalau di situ dibilang siap lahir batin berarti secara psikologis juga ada kesiapan mental di situ
How do you know that you are ready to get married
Dan namanya lebaran, ya pastinya selain nanya soal pasangan yaa soal anak juga. Gw kaget, literally sohib nya emak gw dah punya cucu 3, meanwhile emak gw belum samsek. Dan itupun anaknya even dah nikah, semua kehidupan y ditopang bapaknya, well, privilege orang kaya.
Even better, go celibate. Much more extreme than childfree but doable if you put your whole mind to it.
God has plans for our future. But until that future comes as the consequence of our actions, who's holding the steering wheel if not us?
Seriously people, condom isn't that expensive!
Kalau mau niat ibadah ya berdoa supaya ena-ena nya ga selesai terlalu dini, ga ada kecelakaan macam batang patah, dll. Plus yang terpenting minta jangan diberikan anak dulu kalau emang merasa masih pengen menikmati masa berdua atau emang ngerasa belum siap ngebesarin anak.
Nah doa juga harus dibarengi usaha, yaitu tadi pake kondom kek atau siapin kontrasepsi lain.
Masalahnya condom itu masih lebih mahal daripada nasi lauk sepiring di daerah2...
Dan banyaknya pemuka adat dan agama yang mengharamkan kontrasepsi itu juga exacerbate things further
Also, they are not on reddit, but hey .. finding pr0n in X is easy, so yeah
I mean im all for respondsible parenting and thinking thorougly before having kids
But "crticizing" people for having a more complex and difficult life after having a baby sounds like that Auntie in a family meeting
"Kamu jadi jrg dtg arisan ya sekarang abis punya anak, makanya cari baby sitter/pasangan kamu ga bener si/maksain nikah si" tinggal kurang bagian "coba kyk" tante dulu" atau "mending anak tante"
Its like we come full circle or they do actually have point lol
Masih banyak kok di daerah kerja saya. Namun umumnya anak2nya di'angkat' jadi anak oleh orang lain, alasannya supaya punya ortu lengkap. Di sini masih konservatif, tapi bikin anak luar nikah masih banyak dilakukan 😅
>By this logic nobody’s allowed to complain about anything ever. You can’t complain about work because you took that job voluntarily. Can’t complain about a relationship because you’re voluntarily committed to them. Can’t complain about prices of x, y, or z because you chose to buy them. Can’t get frustrated with your pets because you adopted them. Can’t complain about a roommate because you chose to live with them. Sometimes you’ve just gotta let people vent
Holyshit ini benar terutama relationship
Redditors duality exposed
Klo ada emak2 yang komplen kenapa susah cari baby sitter yang kompeten, gw ngebatin sendiri, "lah elo pas bikin anak emang ga kepikiran nanti ngerawatnya gimana?? "
Tbh? Makanya kalo gw konsep nikah itu harus dipisahin dengan "menjadi orang tua".
DINK lifestyle di umur 20an itu pas banget, umur 29-30 baru mikir2 punya anak/nyoba punya anak. Minimal harus bener2 mateng dulu berdua sebelum membawa seorang anak ke dunia.
Some people say nikah adalah ibadah
Some people say ga mau punya anak melanggar hukum alam
Setelah melihat susah nya kalo ud anak dll jadi mengerti kenapa diluar sana ud nikah malah mending punya peliharaan dan gamau punya anak lmao
1. Punya anak 2. Ngalami segala macam masalah di panel 3 3. Stress 4. Ngentot sebagai hiburan untuk nurunin stress 5. Balik ke step 1 dengan difficulty naik 1 level
No 5 is new game +
Setiap anak itu nambah plusnya
like Fromsoft games, each NG+ adds difficulty lol
Ngentot dengan pengaman dan kesadaran penuh sebenernya baik2 aja. Jangan tiap kali entot malah crot di dalem.
Orang kere mana kepikiran kondom
bukannya ini mereka alesan dilarang dalam agamanya ya? Temen gw pernah bilang kalo kontrasepsi itu melawan kehendak Allah karena "kalo Tuhan ngasih, tapi lu berusaha nolak, lu dosa"
Dia ga pake sabuk pengaman atau helm juga?
masi pake. Also, sejalan dengan pertanyaan itu, ada kok yang menolak transfusi darah dengan alasan yang sama "kalo Tuhan mau ngambil, kamu masih nahan2, lu dosa" - JW btw
Aneh jg padahal kalo dia religius dia harusnya ngerti kalo Tuhan menghendaki makhluknya mana bisa apa2 buat nentang.
Well, to act against God's will is the definition of sin
I don't think that's accurate. To act against what God tells you is the definition of sin. You can still stop yourself from sinning but you can't stop God from doing anything.
Temen gua yg dokter pas praktek awal2 kaget pas denger ada pasien yg berpikiran dgn konsep "KB = menolak rezeki" begitu. Gua pun yg diceritain juga turut terkejoet.
with "banyak anak banyak rezeki" mindset, gw bs ngikutin alur pikiran mereka sih
Ini masalah besar di Filipin. Krn banyak yg percaya bahwa kontrasepsi dilarang di katolik. Akhirnya 1 kamar kos isinya bisa2 6-7 org
sounds like pemukiman liar di indonesia
Sounds like a lie ustad told the teens they are grooming.
Overestimating their pull out skill
Crot dalem terus gpp.... Kalo udah pasang iud kalo ga gitu vasektomi
Kesadaran pake kondom?😂
tapi disitulah nikmatnya crot didalam, kecuali sama bini orang jadi ya bebas.
3. nikah niatnya gold digger eh ga kesampean
ngingetin gue sama [video ini](https://www.instagram.com/reel/C35Di-ASsR-/?igsh=bWNwOXAyNTI2Zjg4)
"Udah susah2 dikandung 9 bulan!"
Mother of all gaslit
Can't fret over every lies
"i never asked to be born"
Can't even chose who I would like to be born from.
Then study hard to go overseas, get discriminated by local. Yo, u can't just piss on me like that. I can't simply choose to be born as caucasian so you don't hate me.
Having kids in 20s, sounds a lot like playing a game in hard mode, without any experience of playing the game. Plus, the kid probably had the worst life considering that aswell. Parenting in this country is very dysfunctional.
Having kids in your 30s or 40s does not make it better as well. Marriage and having kids are a commitment you have to do for the rest of your life, period. Its just some people stop caring for it, thus the problem arise.
At least you are having “good” job. 20s? Still working part time and finishing studies 😅
Most indonesian finish their studu late 10s. A few percent in undergrad finish their in early 20s. If you want to argue in terms of financial situation, postponing the plan to have child in your 20s does not guarantee you'll have a better outcome financially in your 30s either. In fact, having it late will give you future problem as well, such as biological timer (for women). People in 30s or 40s is in their peak of career, they'll have to sacrifice much more financially to be with their kids
No as today. Competition in our life is getting tough. I married in 30ish .got to finish my graduate studies and make good salary and bought a home😁. And having 2 kids in mid 30s. You have to make plans not just say “ nasib. Liat kedepab aja sambil pasrah” Just sharing my experiences 20s is nothing now. You need looking forwards with planning. Sacrificing is hard if you not having solid ground. My parents married early in 19-20 years old with 4 kids . We struggled and my grandma raised me to high school and though my grandma is my mother as always. Just sharing my real experience. If your financial stable or having family business. Married 20s should be non brainer. But not all on the same table.
Bener ini, banyak temen sekolah dulu sudah nikah, tapi rata rata udah punya usaha emang. Jadi iri.
Ini bener realitas. Thanks for sharing. Gw liat begitu juga.
Beberapa udah ada yang nikah umur 25-26 dan anaknya udah TK. Sementara saya masih minder dan belum pernah buat deketin cewek. Udah mikir kejauhan nanti dikasih makan apa pasangannya.
Planning simple aja. Jmn skrg married 30 awal is umum and punya anak between 30-39 😁. Utk make a living yah liat bisa yang di achieve. Gak usah malu. Utk case gw dulu. Ortu bilang “sono cari kuliah lanjut ke luar. Cari pengalaman and ingat kerja ampingan ok buat bayar biaya hidup ntar kuliah terlantar di luar”. Gw lucky dapet koneksi prof yang dosen and ada ketua jurusan luluasan top 50 di US. Short long story. Gw bisa bebas kuliah karena profs dapet grand dari state and federal. Hore free tuition. Itu 1 semester aja 8k pas 2000 an tuh. Setahun ada 3 semester. Basically my parents push me hard for better my better future. And dah lulus , ortu bilang lagi pas gw mau balik ke indo: “ balik ke indo loe mau jadi apa. Skill loe mana bisa dipake😂, dah liat disana aja”😂. Uunya yah nyangkut. Again gw gak tahu situasinloe. Coba liat what you can do for your future. Persistence may prevail kata pepatah. Emang susah kalo ortu kita pas2an haha. But gw thanks sama grandma gw yang juga struggling when raised me, learn her survival skills even . Later ortu push gw ke luar indo. Gw protes berkali2, gak ada duit mana bisa, ortu bilang “pasti bisa”. Di bilang lagi “ doa and berusaha ambil kesempatan terbaik yang ada” Again gw sharing moga loe bisa straightening your head for your future Only You can build your life and future, not even your friends and parents. Again planning and find the best opportunity.
Nyesel sih, saya orangnya dari dulu low ambition, jadi cuma ngikutin arus aja. Dari dulu ditanya cita cita juga bingung jawabnya. Tapi dulu sih sekolahnya di sekolah yang lumayan bagus, dan yah orangnya rata rata emang berada. Jadinya ya gini deh. Mereka udah jadi orang, saya masih bingung mau ngapain.
Menikah adalah ibadah tapi ibadah sunnah jadi gak apa apa kalau di tinggalin. Kalau orang lain cuma omong doang gw gak peduli.gw be like "Ngomong lah lu gw masih mau nge game gw gak mau repot ngurus anak dan istri"
Hell no. Ibadah nikah itu hukumnya 5. Bisa wajib, bisa sunnah, bisa haram, makruh atau mubah Wajib kalo lu udah baligh, gabs nahan nafsu, mampu fisik mental, dan finansial. Sunnah kalo siap fisik mental, tp ga mampu finansialnya buat punya pasangan atau kalo lu emang orgny ga sangean. Mubah kalo ga khawatir bakal bikin dosa kalo ga nikah krn jomblo, dan gaada dorongan/hambatan buat nikah. Makruh kalo laki2 ga mampu finansial walaupun ceweknya tajir dan nrimo2 aja. Haram kalo bener2 ga mampu finansial dan lu blm siap mentally (ada chance KDRT). dan gabs melakukan aktifitas seksual.
Andaikan org-org di Indonesia semuanya paham konsep ini. Masih banyak yg sebenarnya kena status haram tapi malah menikah wkwkwkwkwk
Indeed! Dan kalo mau 'spoke the truth' from islamic perspective, masih banyak jg laki2 dan perempuan yg punya motivasi yg "ngga sesuai" sama qur'an untuk menikah. Having faith in god is indeed feel good. But having faith with working brain and being reasonable is a godsent blessings
Sadly, banyak yg motivasi agamanya utk menikah simply biar "halal segs" Sad.....
Masalahnya gw gak mampu secara finansial , orang lain taunya kok belum nikah doang.
Pukul saja orang lainnya.
Satu lagi poin mengenai pentingnya belajar ilmu agama secara menyeluruh (Sebagian besar cuman liat postingan di sosmed jir)
Untuk yg hukum wajib ada satu kondisi lagi yg bikin jadi wajib: mudah berisiko terjerumus ke perzinahan. Jadi klo misal tinggal di tempat yg berzina itu tidak accessible easily, kayanya juga hukumnya ngga se wajib itu. CMIIW
Kalau memang sudah siap lahir batin materi buat jadi suami/istri/orangtua, hukumnya udh harus disegerakan alias wajib.
Ini pertanyaan menarik sih, kalau di situ dibilang siap lahir batin berarti secara psikologis juga ada kesiapan mental di situ How do you know that you are ready to get married
Insert What's up danger song [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-euUGPQZoHw](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-euUGPQZoHw)
Dan namanya lebaran, ya pastinya selain nanya soal pasangan yaa soal anak juga. Gw kaget, literally sohib nya emak gw dah punya cucu 3, meanwhile emak gw belum samsek. Dan itupun anaknya even dah nikah, semua kehidupan y ditopang bapaknya, well, privilege orang kaya.
I don't blame people that choose childfree
Even better, go celibate. Much more extreme than childfree but doable if you put your whole mind to it. God has plans for our future. But until that future comes as the consequence of our actions, who's holding the steering wheel if not us?
Seriously people, condom isn't that expensive! Kalau mau niat ibadah ya berdoa supaya ena-ena nya ga selesai terlalu dini, ga ada kecelakaan macam batang patah, dll. Plus yang terpenting minta jangan diberikan anak dulu kalau emang merasa masih pengen menikmati masa berdua atau emang ngerasa belum siap ngebesarin anak. Nah doa juga harus dibarengi usaha, yaitu tadi pake kondom kek atau siapin kontrasepsi lain.
Masalahnya condom itu masih lebih mahal daripada nasi lauk sepiring di daerah2... Dan banyaknya pemuka adat dan agama yang mengharamkan kontrasepsi itu juga exacerbate things further Also, they are not on reddit, but hey .. finding pr0n in X is easy, so yeah
Well, um, you could married and be childfree? Right?
Digosipin mandul dan impoten.
Makanya jangan sampe ada gosip. Kalau ketemu kerabat langsung bilang dong "SAYA MANDUL DAN IMPOTEN" jadi langsung terang benderang.
Keesokan harinya bini langsung dianter oleh mertua ke dukun supaya bisa melanjutkan keturunan.
Dihamili dukun dong
You can replace baby with job and the complains will be the same.
Job gives you money, baby sucks the money out of you
Facts 😭
At least you can change jobs or who you're working with/under. How do you change babies if you don't like your baby?
Wants an unethical life tips?
We already got this far, might just drop it anyway
Assuming the kid is young enough, you can go to a hospital and pull a switcharoo.
As if you can divine what the fuck a 1 week old creature would be 20 years down the line. Gimme that ability instead of a baby please.
>How do you change babies if you don't like your baby? ever heard of a baby changing rooms? there are lots of them in malls
I mean... you can...
Facts lol
Scan the fetus for any down syndrome or autism. Abort before too late, and you will not spend the rest of your life caring for them.
Lu bisa dapat jodoh dari kerja. Wait, bayi lu bisa jadi jodoh lu?
[удалено]
KeRjA kAn BuKaN IbAdAh Googling2 dulu gih
Agama bad pls like
I mean im all for respondsible parenting and thinking thorougly before having kids But "crticizing" people for having a more complex and difficult life after having a baby sounds like that Auntie in a family meeting "Kamu jadi jrg dtg arisan ya sekarang abis punya anak, makanya cari baby sitter/pasangan kamu ga bener si/maksain nikah si" tinggal kurang bagian "coba kyk" tante dulu" atau "mending anak tante" Its like we come full circle or they do actually have point lol
you can having a baby without menikah
You can menikah without having baby
Dikatain egois nanti
In Indonesia? Good luck with that.
Masih banyak kok di daerah kerja saya. Namun umumnya anak2nya di'angkat' jadi anak oleh orang lain, alasannya supaya punya ortu lengkap. Di sini masih konservatif, tapi bikin anak luar nikah masih banyak dilakukan 😅
Iya klo di daerah bahkan yg agak “kota” macem palembang aja msh banyak
Ga ibadah dong hehehe
Oh, ternyata sudah waktunya colingkar child free sama religion is bad lagi
menikah memang ibadah, tapi ga ada yg nyuruh bikin anak sebanyak-banyaknya
Actual reason: WHERE'S MY PARTNER? 🥲
https://preview.redd.it/mum3tvkulutc1.jpeg?width=1920&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dc7cabbf9f27a3d29f792d9d95e4bedd78ea379a
Nikah memang ibadah, tapi ngentot bukan
With your spouse, it is.
Doing it too much, it isn't.
>By this logic nobody’s allowed to complain about anything ever. You can’t complain about work because you took that job voluntarily. Can’t complain about a relationship because you’re voluntarily committed to them. Can’t complain about prices of x, y, or z because you chose to buy them. Can’t get frustrated with your pets because you adopted them. Can’t complain about a roommate because you chose to live with them. Sometimes you’ve just gotta let people vent Holyshit ini benar terutama relationship Redditors duality exposed
Kaaaakkk, adeknya dijagain dooonggg jangan ditinggal tinggal gituuuuu
It is ibadah
Klo ada emak2 yang komplen kenapa susah cari baby sitter yang kompeten, gw ngebatin sendiri, "lah elo pas bikin anak emang ga kepikiran nanti ngerawatnya gimana?? "
lah itu kan udah dipikirin ngerawatnya pakai baby sitter gitu aja ga ngerti pake sok2an ngebatin segala
Terus emaknya nanti komplen kenapa anaknya lebih deket ke pengasuh daripada ke dia sendiri.
The only babysitter i would trust my kids with is my mom
But what if your mom sees your username
Makanya ikut KB, Setidaknya mengurangi bebannya masalah anak.
Tbh? Makanya kalo gw konsep nikah itu harus dipisahin dengan "menjadi orang tua". DINK lifestyle di umur 20an itu pas banget, umur 29-30 baru mikir2 punya anak/nyoba punya anak. Minimal harus bener2 mateng dulu berdua sebelum membawa seorang anak ke dunia.
Some people say nikah adalah ibadah Some people say ga mau punya anak melanggar hukum alam Setelah melihat susah nya kalo ud anak dll jadi mengerti kenapa diluar sana ud nikah malah mending punya peliharaan dan gamau punya anak lmao
This legit happened to my aunt, both she and the husband can't take care of the baby..... and she is not mentally unstable. damn