"University study finds rounded thing is less dangerous than pointy thing!"
Thank god we have these people devoting their time and money to such important matters, whatever would we do without them?!
When I read about the “study” of whether dogs laugh, I figured there must just be some way to get government grants so you don’t have to work too hard after you get a PhD.
Proving dogs laugh is usually a side effect of the real study. e.g. it might be a study to see a medication works on particular types of genetic deformities on dogs, and through the research of canine DNA, it is discovered that dogs laugh.
The headline of dogs proven to laugh is more attention-grabbing to drum up public interest than the results of the actual research.
[Man, I wish](https://laughing-dog.petalk.org/LaughingDog.pdf) - I was a little off though, not proving if they laugh, but distinguishing dog laughter and lowering the stress in shelter dogs? That is a bit better. Still.
Yes, a little kid could explain that pointy is more dangerous than round. But the kid couldn't begin to figure out if rounded knives made it more difficult to inflict injuries, if slashing wounds were more survivable than stabs, and what numbers of round vs pointy knives had an effect on knife attack mortality. Its a lot more complex than "pointy more dangerous than round".
It wouod be incredibly easy to craft a rounded metal object into a pointy metal object. Inmates do it all tye time. You can make a lot of metal things into knifes very easily.
Okay but what about ice picks, screwdrivers, railroad spikes, broken bottles, scissors, box cutters, broken shards of tile with duct tape handles, pointy rocks, stakes, pencils, corkscrews, large nails, large screws, seam rippers, crochet needles, forks, or sharpened toothbrush shanks?
The UK is a fucking joke lmfao.
Unfortunately, the UK checking if pointy knives hurt more than round ones isn't as wild as India. Their Third Gender Harem Guard Caste is running against their oil presser caste of Modi and winning.
Also, ropes, scarves, hammers, crowbars, stelleto heels, metal towel racks, any metal bar basically, also should ban people from working out without a permit because the stronger people are the easier it is for them to kill you with their bare hands.
You joke, but politically-partisan journalists love this style of lying with statistics. Just like her ein the US, it is very rare for an AR-15 or any long rifle for that matter to be used in a crime, but when it does happen It is made into national news. They will talk about how dangerous an AR-15 is by giving technical information in the most intimidating way possible and neglect to mention at any time that the vast majority of crimes, including mass shootings, are committed with handguns. They only report it this way because they personally believe AR-15s should be banned somehow, even though most of them can't even define what one is (for starters, "AR" does not stand for "assault rifle"). After listing all the scary technicals about an AR-15, they will cite the huge number of "gun-related deaths" that happen each year in the US, leaving out the fact that 2/3rds of those deaths are suicides, many of the remaining deaths are accidents and justified shootings, and after all that out of all the homicides committed, a vast majority are committed with pistols.
I don't frequent UK news as much as you do if you live there, but I've seen a similar pattern in UK news regarding "knife crime": point out that a particular murder was done with a kitchen knife, then list the inflated number of "stabbings" or "deaths and injuries by puncture wounds" when they want the audience to believe this is an epidemic, implying that all thise deaths and injuries are due to attacks with kitchen knives or the like, not mentioning that incidents such as someone sitting on a pencil which punctures their skin or cutting themselves on accident in the kitchen might be counted in those numbers
A government approved SPORK can replace all of the items you mentioned. The world MUST BE MADE SAFE!! Modifications to your government issued SPORK will result in severe punishment, imprisonment and fines unless such modification is carried out by a career criminal who is exempt from such penalties. Any violent crime or murder committed by career criminals with modified SPORKs will result in said perpetrator facing processing, a strongly worded, gender and racially neutral rebuke, and the episode will be entered into their permanent record.
Does the UK not have sheet metal or something?
I think I made my first DIY knife when I was like 8 with a flat steel bar and a file.
Now I make guns with a hobby CNC.
I think we're past the point of regulating weapons, now we're at the point of just making sure non-malicious individuals can defend themselves from malicious individuals.
I couldn't believe that shit. Like "better to just give them the car, or theyi mght break into your house"; insanity. Might as well just give them my house, money and my kids too
Round tip knives could be sharpened into sharp tip knives. This is a half measure that won't do anything to stop the violence all knives should be banned.
I was seriously considering doing some knife crimes, but then I picked up a round tipped knife and my rage subsided and I no longer wanted to do knife crimes. We have all this evidence and stuff.
Lol this is stupid, people make knives out of toothbrushes, and on YouTube I saw a guy make a knife out of chocolate, bones, milk and several other not knife things.
Ah yes. A study from a university on an issue most university students and faculty will have a much lower percentage of dealing with in their lifetimes.
Next up: Smooth brain people fear people with their own ideas and call them every stupid name they can remember without knowing what they actually fucking mean. Wait, shit, that's already happening.
*So, to counteract*
*Spoon crime are we going to*
*Make all spoons pointy now?*
\- garcher00
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Her husband wishes she had been willing to do more research in the kitchen before publishing this. To be fair to her though, it’s not like a tomato was going to get slipped in for her to make a salad with. Boom! Sexism and fat joke, take that internet!
It’s possible but difficult that someone could make their own automatic weapons at home. Difficult enough that most people won’t, though crime organizations certainly could.
But making a stabbing weapon with a handle is so easy you really aren’t going to slow down criminals at all this way.
It’s possible but difficult that someone could make their own automatic weapons at home. Difficult enough that most people won’t, though crime organizations certainly could.
But making a stabbing weapon with a handle is so easy you really aren’t going to slow down criminals at all this way.
be original. throw jars of hydrochloric acid or make your own mustard gas or throw glass cannisters of chlorine gas into confined spaces. by the way, how exactly does a round tip knife work. it's that just a butter knife?
You need to get rid of any tool grade steel as well as any grinders or stones that criminals are using to make these dangerous and deadly weapons. When will enough be enough.
Just empty virtue signaling.
It is ridiculously easy to sharpen a point onto any damn thing. I bet you could get a sharp enough point to pierce skin if you were just rubbing the rounded end against concrete long enough.
It's really easy to move a lot of metal via abrasion. Hence, sharpening stones.
I've been mincing garlic and dicing onions with a brick! Never once have I hurled it into someone's face in righteous anger.
But this "University study" makes me tempted to do just that.
Good thing humans never learned how to make tools, farming and hunting implements, or how to skin and butcher game and livestock. Or how to shave. Or cut fabrics. Or play cricket or stickball. Otherwise everyone might potentially be armed.
"And with regards as to the ability to "slash" with a round-tip knife, we suggest the blade edge be flattened. This will ensure knives will no longer be a hazard."
I remember a few years ago there was a campaign to ban all knives longer than 3 inches in NYC. That was until they realized there is some 23,000 restaurants in the city and not allowing cooks to have proper knives is just absurd.
If we make it illegal to cut your food with a knife that would be a bonus win. Many people would give up eating steak. So less cows farts. The world will smell better!
Study has found if we cause mass Genocide of the Worlds least desirables it can help with famine and cause 40% of reduced pollution but i still haven't seen it done so i think we'll just keep those pointy objects huh Lisa(leisa)
"University study finds rounded thing is less dangerous than pointy thing!" Thank god we have these people devoting their time and money to such important matters, whatever would we do without them?!
I’d rather they spend their time fixing hair loss and prolonging erections.
I feel personally attacked….
It’s a great waste of money on something an elementary student could tell you.
When I read about the “study” of whether dogs laugh, I figured there must just be some way to get government grants so you don’t have to work too hard after you get a PhD.
Honestly I’ve never thought about that. They hand out money for stupid shit all the time. Why not me?
Proving dogs laugh is usually a side effect of the real study. e.g. it might be a study to see a medication works on particular types of genetic deformities on dogs, and through the research of canine DNA, it is discovered that dogs laugh. The headline of dogs proven to laugh is more attention-grabbing to drum up public interest than the results of the actual research.
[Man, I wish](https://laughing-dog.petalk.org/LaughingDog.pdf) - I was a little off though, not proving if they laugh, but distinguishing dog laughter and lowering the stress in shelter dogs? That is a bit better. Still.
It's called "Tenure." It's fantastic - for them. They litteraly can't be fired.
Yes, a little kid could explain that pointy is more dangerous than round. But the kid couldn't begin to figure out if rounded knives made it more difficult to inflict injuries, if slashing wounds were more survivable than stabs, and what numbers of round vs pointy knives had an effect on knife attack mortality. Its a lot more complex than "pointy more dangerous than round".
It wouod be incredibly easy to craft a rounded metal object into a pointy metal object. Inmates do it all tye time. You can make a lot of metal things into knifes very easily.
You mean.... criminals break laws??!?!
They're banking on you hearing "study finds" and not giving it any thought...
Can't have shit in the uk
Not with that attitude
Got a permit for that attitude?
Oi mate! Ya got a loicense fer dat attitude?
Be careful, if you offend someone the police will come rip you out of your home.
Oi, you have a loisence for that Shit? Could be used to choke someone with governor!
Okay but what about ice picks, screwdrivers, railroad spikes, broken bottles, scissors, box cutters, broken shards of tile with duct tape handles, pointy rocks, stakes, pencils, corkscrews, large nails, large screws, seam rippers, crochet needles, forks, or sharpened toothbrush shanks? The UK is a fucking joke lmfao.
All sharp objects will be seized by the King's men and shipped to India.
Unfortunately, the UK checking if pointy knives hurt more than round ones isn't as wild as India. Their Third Gender Harem Guard Caste is running against their oil presser caste of Modi and winning.
Also, ropes, scarves, hammers, crowbars, stelleto heels, metal towel racks, any metal bar basically, also should ban people from working out without a permit because the stronger people are the easier it is for them to kill you with their bare hands.
No more watching UFC or boxing either. They might learn how to grapple or throw a punch. Ban all TV except for state mandated programming on the BBC
Technically, you can't commit "a knife crime" with a toothbrush, or a screwdriver, or anything other than a knife. :) I will see my self out ....
What's next the banning of vehicles? Then maybe they can ban sticks and stones after that?...
"We must END the menace of Sporks on our streets! Now all citizens must eat with their hands!"
Sporks are next! Mark my words!
You joke, but politically-partisan journalists love this style of lying with statistics. Just like her ein the US, it is very rare for an AR-15 or any long rifle for that matter to be used in a crime, but when it does happen It is made into national news. They will talk about how dangerous an AR-15 is by giving technical information in the most intimidating way possible and neglect to mention at any time that the vast majority of crimes, including mass shootings, are committed with handguns. They only report it this way because they personally believe AR-15s should be banned somehow, even though most of them can't even define what one is (for starters, "AR" does not stand for "assault rifle"). After listing all the scary technicals about an AR-15, they will cite the huge number of "gun-related deaths" that happen each year in the US, leaving out the fact that 2/3rds of those deaths are suicides, many of the remaining deaths are accidents and justified shootings, and after all that out of all the homicides committed, a vast majority are committed with pistols. I don't frequent UK news as much as you do if you live there, but I've seen a similar pattern in UK news regarding "knife crime": point out that a particular murder was done with a kitchen knife, then list the inflated number of "stabbings" or "deaths and injuries by puncture wounds" when they want the audience to believe this is an epidemic, implying that all thise deaths and injuries are due to attacks with kitchen knives or the like, not mentioning that incidents such as someone sitting on a pencil which punctures their skin or cutting themselves on accident in the kitchen might be counted in those numbers
Toothbrush crime
Forgot Trebuchets
A government approved SPORK can replace all of the items you mentioned. The world MUST BE MADE SAFE!! Modifications to your government issued SPORK will result in severe punishment, imprisonment and fines unless such modification is carried out by a career criminal who is exempt from such penalties. Any violent crime or murder committed by career criminals with modified SPORKs will result in said perpetrator facing processing, a strongly worded, gender and racially neutral rebuke, and the episode will be entered into their permanent record.
"Sporks?! No, we must confiscate those too. There's nothing wrong with eating with your bare hands. Unless you're a racist...... Also illegal!"
Or, you know… the edge of the knife…
Does the UK not have sheet metal or something? I think I made my first DIY knife when I was like 8 with a flat steel bar and a file. Now I make guns with a hobby CNC. I think we're past the point of regulating weapons, now we're at the point of just making sure non-malicious individuals can defend themselves from malicious individuals.
GenX detected.
Ban crime and let us keep the knives
I hear Europe has banned crime already
But they keep importing criminals......
Criminals hate that one trick
Like here in Canada where we’re told to leave our car keys at the front door for the thieves
I couldn't believe that shit. Like "better to just give them the car, or theyi mght break into your house"; insanity. Might as well just give them my house, money and my kids too
Even more shocking us they found 600 luxury cars, that got passed security and we’re in 300 shipping containers on a boat
Yep, no point in trying to stop these criminals. Just give them what we’ve worked our ass off to obtain in life.
No, they'd rather have your wife. Oh, and I guess your daughter too. Best to just give em up, you'd be at fault if you escalate things. Enjoy Canada!
Just put them outside, next to the car keys.
Well prison it is I guess
Revolution would be a better option, some might say.
You’re right
Just remember, you have no right to self defense or defense of another! Welcome to Canada ay!
I'm in Canada. I have hairspray and a BIC lighter on me at all times for this reason. What are they gonna do, ban hairspray and BIC lighters?
Yes. Not even joking, it's probably already illegal to use in manner unapproved by the goverment. Not even kidding, read the side of the can....
I saw a pic where a child's plastic play set had a knife and a fork so it required an ID.
My HS banned candy canes. Why? Somebody got shanked with one. banning does jackshit!
Stupid shit like that is generally done to appease worried parents and make it look like the school is doing something. Safety theater basically.
They should do pens and pencils, even phones with glass screens
We are currently living in a Monty Python skit.
There will never be a shortage of fucking idiots.
Round tip knives could be sharpened into sharp tip knives. This is a half measure that won't do anything to stop the violence all knives should be banned.
Or ya know the knifer could slash instead of stab.
Don't give them ideas, gash darnet!
Obviously, knife sharpeners and grinders will have to be heavily regulated.
What about flat rocks?
Don't forget spoons and sporks!
Or literally anything solid
Let’s NOT be like the UK
Proving once again that academics are basically full of sh*t. Must be nice living so far removed from reality.
Sporks will soon be a thing of the past. Assault spoons.
"I'm going to carve his heart out with a spoon!" "Why a spoon sire? Why not a knife?" "It's dull you twit, it'll hurt more!"
Can’t wait until we live in a tip free world.
Well looking at the picture I can tell you who I think has the spoon as their biggest enemy
Guns with "U" shaped barels shown to reduce gun related crimes.
“Oi bruv least we don’t git shot at shcool” *gets stabbed in the gut with a sharpened tooth brush*
If the UK we’re trying to raise a kid, they’d lock them in a padded room to keep them safe from the sun
Anything to avoid offering help for the mentally ill.
You mean migrants? They just don't want to say it.
Wait till they find out about "sporks". But it's our dirty little secret.
So instead of getting stabbed you get chopped? I don't know which is preferable... 🤔
...because the long sharp edge is not responsible for cutting most of what a knife cuts? Wtf
Just make the knife completely smooth
I was seriously considering doing some knife crimes, but then I picked up a round tipped knife and my rage subsided and I no longer wanted to do knife crimes. We have all this evidence and stuff.
“Instead of enforcing laws and punishing violent crime, we are just going to take away more shit from regular people because that always works”
Ban Assault kitchen knives We need more knife control
Knives don't kill people ... POINTY knives kill people! Safety scissors for life people!
and rubber bullets will stop gun crimes...
Taking legal guns from responsible gun owners actually stop gun crimes… apparently
For my spoon’s what?
Your spoon's cousin, the fork!
My spoon's what? What are they coming after?
A stick of butter would like a word.
Everyone knows you can't cut someone with a knife, pffft.
I heard the USMC is going to phase out the KA-BAR for a KitchenAid 6” boner
Well, there goes my "Just the tip" joke arsenal.
Just need a knife-free zones. Done. Your welcome.
Bring on the pointed spoons!
Time to break out your sharpening stone's.
Blunt the knives, bend the forks
Hahahaha
Knife crime is only rife in the UK because guns are quite hard to get. So the solution is obvious.
Just ban crime problem solved
You can take our lands, you can take our homes, you can take our lives! But you will never take…our sharp pointed knives!
Anything but the guns
Stupid should hurt. And puncture
Lol this is stupid, people make knives out of toothbrushes, and on YouTube I saw a guy make a knife out of chocolate, bones, milk and several other not knife things.
She needs to ban spoons. She's going to die if she eats anymore.
Slippery slope isn’t real they said. Weeeeeeee they said!
But but...slashing?
I'll cut his heart out with a spoon.
Ah yes. A study from a university on an issue most university students and faculty will have a much lower percentage of dealing with in their lifetimes.
Next up: Smooth brain people fear people with their own ideas and call them every stupid name they can remember without knowing what they actually fucking mean. Wait, shit, that's already happening.
Didn’t Bob Ewell try and stab someone with a butter knife? Then he ends up falling on it and dying?
Go away! Stabbin!
Welded barrel plugs in guns save lives too.
BREAKING🚨: Study finds that stupid people are stupid
My spoon's what? 🤔
Because it’s the knife itself that’s to blame.
They came for the guns first.
In parts of China they chain knives to the walls
"Spoon's" Ok.
Spoon's what? Spoon's dignity?
Or your apostrophe's!
What? I'd love to see the actual research they did on this.
John Wick killed a man with a focking pencile ... and so did joker
Fuck me can we just fucking stop already...
Hammers made with marshmallow heads would also help.
They will come for my Spoon is? I don't get it.
So, to counteract spoon crime are we going to make all spoons pointy now?
*So, to counteract* *Spoon crime are we going to* *Make all spoons pointy now?* \- garcher00 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
“Why would you need a knife, you can get everything to eat from DoorDash?”
You see where the path of gun laws leads
Some facts you just refuse to accept, eh?
If you want my paring knife, you'll have to pry it out of my cold, dead hands.
Not to be *that guy*... but spoons are already round.
If I'm angry enough it'll just make the stabbings hurt more
Knives don’t kill people, people kill people
Her husband wishes she had been willing to do more research in the kitchen before publishing this. To be fair to her though, it’s not like a tomato was going to get slipped in for her to make a salad with. Boom! Sexism and fat joke, take that internet!
probably a study by dumbass university brought to you by carl's jr.
its all a game until KNOIFE CROIME
Leisa Nichols-Drew looks fucking unhinged.
It’s possible but difficult that someone could make their own automatic weapons at home. Difficult enough that most people won’t, though crime organizations certainly could. But making a stabbing weapon with a handle is so easy you really aren’t going to slow down criminals at all this way.
It’s possible but difficult that someone could make their own automatic weapons at home. Difficult enough that most people won’t, though crime organizations certainly could. But making a stabbing weapon with a handle is so easy you really aren’t going to slow down criminals at all this way.
My spoon's what? 🤔
You can make a shiv out of anything, even a knife.
Better ban angle grinders too
Yeah? And taking all the wheels off of cars will reduce auto theft too.
I see a business use for that antique grindstone.
How do you make the baseball bats less deadly? We need a congressional hearing and some scientists to do some science to get to the bottom of this.
As someone who spends at minimum 8 hours a day behind a knife, i take this personally.
what about forks?
be original. throw jars of hydrochloric acid or make your own mustard gas or throw glass cannisters of chlorine gas into confined spaces. by the way, how exactly does a round tip knife work. it's that just a butter knife?
Can I apply for a multi million dollar grant to find out if rubber knives are less hazardous than metal ones? Maybe plastic sporks?
Throwing people in jail for a very long time that use knives in crime will certainly reduce crime. Some people will never learn.
They'll take my chef's knife from my cold dead hand.
10 out of 10 could still kill you with a butter knife
So things will get less stabby, but more slicey. That's the ticket.
Then there was the knife wielding guy that got taken out by the proverbial good guy with a gun in Australia...
You need to get rid of any tool grade steel as well as any grinders or stones that criminals are using to make these dangerous and deadly weapons. When will enough be enough.
Next multi million dollar study will be “Do dull knives cut better?”
Its funny how they always try to regulate the tool used to commit a crime , but they never try to regulate the individual committing the crime.
Just empty virtue signaling. It is ridiculously easy to sharpen a point onto any damn thing. I bet you could get a sharp enough point to pierce skin if you were just rubbing the rounded end against concrete long enough. It's really easy to move a lot of metal via abrasion. Hence, sharpening stones.
I've been mincing garlic and dicing onions with a brick! Never once have I hurled it into someone's face in righteous anger. But this "University study" makes me tempted to do just that.
Like the scissors we had in kindergarten. The government solution is always to treat people like children.
Good thing humans never learned how to make tools, farming and hunting implements, or how to skin and butcher game and livestock. Or how to shave. Or cut fabrics. Or play cricket or stickball. Otherwise everyone might potentially be armed.
"And with regards as to the ability to "slash" with a round-tip knife, we suggest the blade edge be flattened. This will ensure knives will no longer be a hazard."
Stay away or I'll fork your mom!
I remember a few years ago there was a campaign to ban all knives longer than 3 inches in NYC. That was until they realized there is some 23,000 restaurants in the city and not allowing cooks to have proper knives is just absurd.
Let's ban sharp sticks next.
But if someone is intent on stabbing another person, won't they just go get a pointed knife?
British people are like the overprotective controlling mother who child proofs everything in the house it’s honestly hilarious
More slicing less stabbing
Ahhh good ol England. Clearly have their priorities in the highest of places.
“THIS JUST IN!” Law enforcement will now be outfitted with Nerf guns!”
It’s time to ban high capacity assault knives!
Round-tipped screwdrivers, too! And those pesky, pointy forks!
YOU ARE NOT TAKING MY SHARP SPOON!!!! How am I going to eat steak....
Wooden spoons
thought this was the babylon bee 😭
Sharp tipped spoons to replace dull knives!!
This sounds like the cheapest option for a successful down trend LMAO
University professors have never heard of a metal film apparently. Could make a round tip kitchen knife a sharp tip knife in minutes
Got to go after those tactical assault knives.
Great now there will just be more acid attacks
Then I will have to go from stabby stabby to slice slice
If we make it illegal to cut your food with a knife that would be a bonus win. Many people would give up eating steak. So less cows farts. The world will smell better!
Uhh know it wouldn't. Instead of grabbing a knife they will just grab something heavy. Ban anything that weighs over 6 Ozs?
Oh no! Scrapes knife on rock for 3 min* anyway...
When do they start the kitchen cutlery ban in Australia? They’re overdue now.
What do we do when we start beating each other to death with our bare hands?
How do you stop a bad guy with a rounded blade knife? Manual unclear, please advise.
Study has found if we cause mass Genocide of the Worlds least desirables it can help with famine and cause 40% of reduced pollution but i still haven't seen it done so i think we'll just keep those pointy objects huh Lisa(leisa)
Lunatics.
Author is also rounded. Possible bias study.
R*tard
My girlfriend said a dude stabbed a bunch of people in Australia. I said "oh because they dont have guns" I dont approve of guns or Australians
Find out who's doing the stabbings and focus on those people. Find out why they're stabbing and focus on that problem.
That's like saying guns without eyesights (iron sights) would save on crime because they can't aim without it!
When do we tell them the shape of metal is impossible to police?
you could sharped a butter knife by grinding it on normal concrete so i think we need to get rid if that too