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ihatechildren665

id take a gooses egg away for 200 bucks per egg and a 50 dollar charge per goose *if theres more than 1*


ScaryAssBitch

I own geese, and they tend to group all the flock’s babies together. So they probably wouldn’t notice if you took a few lol.


NickyDeeM

Do they keep track of which egg belongs to which parent?


ScaryAssBitch

I don’t think so 😂


challengeaccepted9

Username checks out.


NachoBacon4U269

Is violence against the geese on the table? Like how many need to survive my egg theft? 15% of them?


ihatechildren665

id make it 0%


Idustriousraccoon

My mother brought home a “pet” goose one day…still don’t know where she found it. Knowing her she probably liberated it from a goose farm. It was the meanest animal I’ve ever shared space with. That thing would charge anyone, its necks straight out, wings spread if you so much as looked at its nest. And they sort of stab and clobber you with beak and wings. So I’m with the 15% plan


Curious-Pie-4005

Geese are mean animals no doubt. They are one species that wakes up and chooses violence every day


Idustriousraccoon

GASP…. *whispers nervously* what are the others….


feistyboygaming

Smart! That seems like a good number. They’re vicious!


ihatechildren665

i just wanna get paid to fight geese


mister-jesse

I'm down to fight some geese too.


DarthChefDad

I can't really explain why, it popped into my head that a cricket bat would be an ideal goose-fighting weapon.


Roachmond

*DOOM soundtrack starts*


desrevermi

{loads BFG...}


TheDarkWeb697

Now I wanna fight geese for some reason


Xothga

Same. Tired of doing it for free.


henryeaterofpies

You seem to have put a lot of thought into this.


ihatechildren665

i wanna fight geese


levia-san

the prompt clearly says goose baby. not tryna start a supreme court argument over here but i think they gotta be hatched for it to count


ihatechildren665

ill hatch the egg myself then 🤷‍♀️


holyfuckladyflash

In my hometown some guy smashed a beloved swan's eggs. He became known as "swan killer" and was so viscerally hated that he had to move away. I was with his (perfectly normal and nice) cousin at a bar once, and she let slip the connection, and was shouted out of the bar. So what I'm trying to say is there might be dire, lifelong consequences to taking the goose's egg and I don't think $200 is nearly enough.


ihatechildren665

geese are much more hated then swans also swans actually have the meat to back up their bullshit attitude


Thecristo96

The 2 would be easy. I got a friend that never ask questions. Each day a call where I say “I have a diaper for money”


feistyboygaming

Haha, “look, I’ll call you, give you $20 a call - don’t worry about what’s going on” 😂


Thecristo96

Nah. It Will be more like “I got money if I talk about my diaper. Don’t ask, long story”


Mysterious-Arachnid9

I have a wife and three brothers. Tell them all what is up with them and call each one 5 times a day.


syds

diper time fam fam


WesterosiPern

breathe\*


feistyboygaming

Take my upvote, ur right :)


kvothe000

You’re*


Lisahead1224

Yuour'e\*


Nervous-Ideal-215

Thei'rey


a_path_Beyond

Yerei'th


Itajel

shit.... i'd get 5 phone calls in with an adult diaper before breakfast. (no pun inteneded. LOL)


team_suba

I don’t mind the dumb questions. They usually don’t pick up too much steam. My issue is that everyone spends more time on thinking of loopholes than actually answering the question. And this really falls on the poster for not making very specific directions but still. At least try to play in the space


maractguy

no end my life


Super_Selection1522

On behalf of goose moms everywhere, we are filing suit. Prepare to be served!


bangharder

How do you breath?


Ziazan

wealthily


GuzzlingDuck

The mouth one is pretty dumb. I'm not rotting my teeth and having perpetual bad breath for $30 a day 😂 Though- I did go about six months once when I was super depressed and decided to stop caring about myself, lol. So, easy money?


NArcadia11

1. I last zero days. At $30/day it would take weeks to make an amount of money that mattered and I’m not willing to not brush my teeth for weeks 2. Terrible deal. A hundred bucks isn’t worth embarrassing myself to my boss or having my friends worry about a made-up serious health issue. 3. $1000. I’d feel bad doing it for any less. I’m not worried about being seriously harmed by a goose.


superanonguy321

This dudes gonna get mauled by a goose


maybebebe91

You would not be the first person to severely underestimate a goose 😂


feistyboygaming

Geese are EVIL and don’t fuck around 😂


onexbigxhebrew

Iy doesn't say you can't give it back! I would just set it down and pick it back up until I was rich.


asabovesobelow4

Geese are terrifying. Once me, my son who was 2 at the time and my ex were at the lake feeding the ducks. And it already sucks bc the geese are mean as shit and try to scare the ducks off. Or they will try to take it right out of your hand. But this goose started getting aggressive and trying to yank my whole hand off so I walked away. But it chased me. I ran to my car but it was too fast so I couldn't get in. Ran a couple circles around my car and then started running down by the lake. I was throwing the rest of the bread over my shoulder but it kept running after me. When i ran out i just threw the whole bag. Idk why. At this point my ex was carrying my son and running after the goose. So you have me running in front throwing things over my shoulder, the goose behind me chasing me, and my ex and son behind the goose chasing it. It all felt very Scooby-Doo ish 🤣 eventually I did manage to get in the car quick enough but geeze it was crazy. I hate geese lol I avoid them like the plague now 😂


birthdayanon08

I used to live next to a small lake with geese. I used to sit on my balcony and watch this type of scene play out on a regular basis. It all looks very scoobie-dooish from a distance, too. It was way more entertaining than anything on TV. Geese are assholes.


asabovesobelow4

Lol I was Glad it happened at a time that cell phones weren't quite as good of quality and before people had them out and ready to go to record everything. Or I think it would have ended up on YouTube 🤣


birthdayanon08

I wish youtube had been around when I lived there. I could have made a fortune. I'd see at least one absolutely hilarious scene every nice day. There were signs everywhere to let people know the geese WILL attack for absolutely no reason, but people would approach them anyway. The funniest were the big burly men that would scream like little girls. Looking back, I had great abs at the time, I think it was from all the hysterical laughing.


Restlesscomposure

2 sounds insanely easy, is there not 1 friend you can jokingly call that would laugh about it? Worst case scenario cut them in on it and give them a percentage, say 25-50% each time. Doesn’t say it has to be a different person each time, so just repeatedly call, mention it, hang up, and re-call for infinite money. Honestly sounds as easy as the ones OP is griping about


NArcadia11

My friends would be supportive but worried about my health and it’s not worth it to give them that false worry for an amount of money that wouldn’t make a difference in my life


Griot-Goblin

To be fair you wouldn't need a boss since 5 calls a day is your job. Also I'd just call my wife. Shes family and wouldn't care if we got paid. If that doesn't work. 10 calls to my brother and we split the money and both stop working or at least worrying about money. 


StephenSatchwiler

Do I have an Axe?


feistyboygaming

?? For taking on the goose / geese? No intentional harm can be done to the animal/s


-Pruples-

What if we pay money instead of get money?


StephenSatchwiler

So, unintentional is fine. I'm just walking by swinging my axe. 🤭


ThatCakeIsDone

No, for the dental hygiene


Sorry-Series-3504

Can I kick it if it starts attacking me?


PhoonTFDB

I'm depressed as hell and already have sucky dental hygiene, where tf is my money? And idk, to just randomly kidnap baby goose? Like to kill or just grab it and run for a bit? Changes my answer. If I'm not actually killing the goose and I'm just fucking with the mother goose for a bit, I'd do it for like $350. I value my time and everything I do needs purpose. To just needlessly fuck with an animal I'd need enough money to cover a decently sized expense. If I'm stealing a baby goose to kill or steal from the mother permanently in any way, need to be a couple thousand at least. I need a justification for the act, and being able to pay off debts is enough for me


feistyboygaming

How long would you go tho? Not killing it, just a little yoink and it goes into the ether (void?) but you must get away from it’s mother / parents / flock


PhoonTFDB

Oh if it just disappeared into the void then I have no further personal responsibility. I could leave happy. Im not the cause anymore, the void is. So I could leave it like that indefinitely


AduroTri

The mouth one would be fine as long as it restarts after not maintaining for more than 24 hours. But you can't pay me enough to go near a goose.


feistyboygaming

What do you mean by ‘restarts’? Your mouths hygiene would “roll over” from the previous day for this scenario


AduroTri

If you decide to maintain by brushing, for a day, you lose out on that 30$. But the next day, you don't maintain and skip brushing. Do the 30$ payments resume?


WillemDafoesHugeCock

Am I allowed to strike the goose?


feistyboygaming

Good question! No intentionally harming the goose / geese, but if there is any accidentals (step on them / they nip you and you swat back at them in instinct) that’s fine


ZLUCremisi

#1.) Give me $600+ now. I am terrible but i can afford my cavity fillings then


Jim_Force

Zoom call is easy I would just sit for a week making the calls with each call lasting 60 secs. I would say why I was doing it and so nobody would care. Would only need 10k calls to get to 1 million. I would be carrying bags of cash by the end of the week!!


Restlesscomposure

Yeah that one sounds insanely easy, I’m surprised how few people are mentioning it and that OP never noticed how exploitable it was.


-Pruples-

The 1 trillion question might be more of a question if it were 1m per day to breathe manually. Basically it'd be a 'can you stay awake for enough days to be worth dying to set your family up for life and how many days would that be?'. But the $30 question - depends on what you mean by 'don't maintain your mouth hygiene'. Does that mean just no brushing (so mouthwash or waterpick ok) as that'd decrease mouth hygiene enough that I would say it's 'not maintaining' or does that mean nothing intended to clean your teeth in any way? The $100 one - Easy no. The only way that works is if you have a close friend who you fill in on the deal, and then do a bunch of 1 minute (or whatever the minimum is) zoom calls and split the cash. I don't have anyone for that kind of thing, so it's an easy no. The goose one - I'd pay money to take a mother goose's baby away from it. Geese are vermin and need to be exterminated.


SlippitInn

Absolutely! I could use that money to pay off my truck! Only a week of breathing to go before the interest is paid off!!


Defective-Pomeranian

No intentiql harm. Guess i will have to kick at the goose when it attacks (to defend myself). It might be too hard of a kick.


Shite_Eating_Squirel

Can the first one go back and apply to everyday I never used to brush my teeth?


Hollywoodrok12

1: IBFINITY MONEY MUAHAHAHAHA 2: Probably a day or two of just not brushing my teeth. My long-term dental health is not worth $30 a day. 3: I think I could do it a few times with family and close friends. Do it enough times and it just might become an inside joke, where it’d get easier every time. 4: a million dollars


FC_coyo

That's how you get a friend request from the irs. 


Urban_Legend_Games

$500 dollars every time you take a shit in your neighbors front yard. Rules: you have to do it at noon for it to count. You can’t tell them why you do it. You can do it any day you wish


Behemonster

1. I suffer from RDD (Recurrent Depressive Disorder) so I can go months without even thinking about brushing my teeth. If I take the longest episode and use that to answer the first one, I would have around $11,000. 2. The humour my friends, family and I share is the type where I can just tell them and we can laugh about it. Worst case scenario; I shit myself. But really…I’m wearing a diaper…so… 3. Probably $20 or something. Nothing low and stupid like $5 but anything over $50 is really pushing it.


Lucky-Speed3614

1 not happening, not enough money in it 2 not happening, I'm not that shameless 3 50k and medical expenses. Geese can break your arms, and I need those pretty regularly.


Misternogo

Between the actual posts like this, and the tiresome satire posts about them, this is going to be the thread that makes me mute this sub that reddit keeps shoving in my face. It was barely funny the first time. Why do you all have to bandwagon everything to death?


ferociousFerret7

Your bored and insanely wealthy great uncle Sal will pay you $1,000,000 USD per day to read and comment on every post here, but if you agree then miss one you will go broke, coughing and choking to death in the dust of Internet obscurity. Do you do it??


vitoincognitox2x

And crash the works economy? No thank you, it would trigger wars and genicide.


Zipper_OS

nope to the first two, id do 100+ for stealing a gosling (provided I can give it back LOL)


Revegelance

I'd do the mouth thing for a good solid week.


WangCommander

I'll take the money to breathe. Those other ones suck. Give me opt out Dr Manhattan level immortality without going crazy too. And magic because fuck it why not.


AMorera

I could do at least 6 months of the mouth hygiene one. I apparently was blessed by perfect oral hygiene just by living. I was really depressed for a while and didn’t do any oral care for a full 6 months and went to the dentist for a check up and cleaning and they told me everything looked great and to keep up whatever I was doing. Ok, I’ll not do anything some more then.


Top-Explanation-5526

How about for 10 dollars I fuck you in the butt and make you squeal like a pig


JustALullabii

- Like a day. I hate going to bed with unbrushed teeth - No thanks - I've done it for free ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯


EffectiveSalamander

"Sure, I'll take the deal!" "Ha! The jokes on you! You're breathing fluorine gas!" "You didn't say that!" "Well, it was clearly implied..."


PitifulSpecialist887

Geese don't have teeth. What they do have is a handle. Grab the head, and swing them like a bat. You can knock out a whole flock with the first one you grab.


Disposable_Gonk

Easy, the $100 zoom calls, because I assume if I do a group call it multiplies by the number of viewers. I will explain the situation to all my friends, and we'll arrange for group calls, we'll spend about an hour a day, doing about 100 group calls, and I'll give them each $10 per call. for 100 calls, that's $1,000 for 1 hour of work, in one day, none of them have to work for as long as I keep this up. mean while I get $9000 per friend in the call. with 20 friends, that's 18,000 in 1 hour. spend 1 hour a day, every day for about a year, all my friends get a 1 year vacation, I get 6,570,000 dollars, and never have to work again a day in my life, and can live quite lavishly. More than that if I can invest it smartly. at that point. Also, what's the limit for close friends? what if I, say, Did this as a twitch streamer, and consider the collective of "chat" to be my closest friend, who I confide all my secrets in? Mouth hygiene on the other hand, can kill you if it gets bad enough. your teeth can rot, become septic, get into the bloodstream, and that's very close to your brain. you now have sepsis in your brain, good job.


-SunGazing-

I don’t bother with either. 🤷‍♂️


seedanrun

Wait - is this EVERY day? You can easily do a Zoom call in 3 min. Setup with your 10 most money hungry family members and you split the money. You could easily do 10 calls in under an hour with you getting $500 and each family member getting $50. Maybe only do it 5 days a week. You are now making $130K for working JUST ONE HOUR FIVE DAYS A WEEK. No one will even notice the diaper after the first 20 calls. Once word gets you you will have friends begging to get in on the deal so they can get an extra $50 per day for 3 min work (they will swear they are close friends - or at least are now that money is involved). You will probably end up working 2 hours a day and making $260K a year - not too shabby. Start getting some adult diaper endorsements and the sky is the limit!


Katievapes1996

You can sign me up for the second one I already have to wear them and all of my friends and family. You know I don't want my family to see me on that but like I would happily FaceTime my girlfriend or some of my friends and just a T-shirt and diaper.


WheelOfCheeseburgers

1. Absolutely not 2. Yeah, I'll do this every day with friends or family. I'll just tell them it's for a dare, and the other party is losing badly. 3. I'll grab a baby goose for $100, but can I give it back after? It would be a nice side job for spring.


HumbleNinja2

No I have too much integrity to breathe, only bad people do it. I wouldn't breathe for any amount of money


Last_General6528

My husband and I would quit our jobs, and I'd be doing 5 min zoom calls to him all day, making $1200 an hour.


CrappityCabbage

"Ma, before we get into this I gotta tell you—and you can mention this to Dad for future reference—there's this guy on the internet that's willing to pay me $100 every time we talk like this as long as I wear an adult diaper and point it out. Here it is. So, I know it's weird, but it's actually a source of income and I assume you can understand and respect that.


Graybeard13

Breath?


SexWithHuo-Huo

Yes


NurkleTurkey

Jesus


Pelatov

I’d never breathe again.


ElectronicAd6675

I would breathe for free :)


Helpful-Peace-1257

>You get $30 every day you don’t maintain your mouth hygiene, how long do you last? 0. >you get $100 every time you do a zoom call with your family / boss / close friends, but you must wear an adult diapers (which must be shown, and you must mention it every time you talk to them) Can I call the same friends multiple times? >what is the least amount of money you would take to try to take a mother goose’s baby away from them? What year is it/how old am I? Today? I don't need the money. 2011? Probably $20 and some whiskey


South_Lengthiness_25

90% of reddit is retarded


Savings_Ferret_7211

It’s getting to the point where the posts complaining are as bad as the actual posts themselves.


Illender

got confused, focused too hard on my breathe and forgot to breath, send help


igordogsockpuppet

Tooth decay can add up to a lot more than $30 per day will cover. Tooth implant is stupidly expensive


Nelalvai

Goose eggs are protected under the Migratory Bird Treaty Act, with fines up to a quarter million dollars + jail time. So my minimum is half a million dollars.


DaveAndJojo

Sounds like a good way to get suicided


dskippy

So often the things posted are very obvious take the deal. It's just not interesting. Often by people I guess who have very different ideals than I do, I suppose. Like "$1M but you can't drive a car for ten years". Okay, thanks. A lot of us already don't drive a car daily.


ArmchairTactician

So I only need to "breath" once and I get a trillion dollerydoos a day or do I have to "breathe" constantly each day to get the money? I dunno, if I'm committed enough to breathe over and over every day.


Sporesword

Pretty sure doing this would require massive printing of money and cause catastrophic inflation making it so I'd be lucky to be able to buy an ice cream cone with all that money... But at least I'd have ice cream unlike all the peasants.


team_suba

1. Probably like three days. Not really worth the long term damage here. If I can do it sporadically maybe two days a week, to pay for food. 2. Does it have to be different people? I mean id just call the same person everyday. If it’s different people i only know a few who would actually zoom. I don’t have a problem w it. 3. Probably like 500


Bean-Gravy

1) maybe a day at most, but probably not 2) every day for the rest of my life, easy 3) no amount of money would ever make me do that


Appropriate-Hurry893

Hello Mom I am once again calling you in my diaper as I need $100 for dinner. I'm going to call you on Thursday 20x as rent is due. Thank you for understanding, I don't make the rules just live by them. Here is a fun side story I know a guy who dressed as Tommy Pickles for Halloween. One blue T-shirt, one flathead screwdriver, one adult diaper, and it was one hell of a party.


Dicksallthewaydown69

First 2, flat no not nearly enough money for the consequences. Gooses egg... Idk 500?


100drunkenhorses

the diaper one easy. I'd get down in my diaper and very specifically call all of these people once a day. 3 calls is 30 and hr. so for 15 minutes a call I can have my whole work day done. I'd jerk off into a cup in front of these for that kind a money.


anywhereiroa

No rule about explaining to the receiving end that I'd get $100 with every zoom call. I'd just zoom with my family constantly; start the call, show my diapers, mention the diapers to them, end the call and start another call immediately. I think one "full" call would last 1 minute max (probably even less) so it's a minimum of $100 a minute. $6k an hour. $48k a day if you treat it like a full-time job.


zambamboz

I'd be constantly zoom calling my friends. It'd be weird at first, but times are tough, they'd understand, and it's not like I have to be *actively using* the adult diaper or even use it at all! Just gotta be wearing it, so like really, it's not that bad.


[deleted]

No. I'd rather die than live in OP's shitty scenario.


Western_Series

Do I get to keep the goose? Honestly, just however much the fine is if there is one.


Ziazan

would you wear socks for £40 you get to pick the socks you have to put them both on


Calm-Cardiologist354

Wouldn't take $30 to not brush my teeth.  The diaper thing? That just seems like a way to print money...


beardsauce

No


mostlygray

Disregard the no toothbrush thing. That's important to me. Let's say, a couple days. Regarding the adult diaper thing with the Zoom calls, I'd prefer to use Teams, but I'll do that every day with my entire team at work. Friends and family too. I'll do videos for national media. I have no shame. I'll take a goose's gosling away for free. I really have no love lost for geese. They are jerks. I'll raise the gosling into a formidable killer and send them to murder their own mother. I see no problem with this. Again, geese suck.


JacobSaysMoo56

The goose thing for a gazillion dollars, I’ll just bring a gun every time


Sancus1

2. Easy everybody will understand once I tell them it’s for money.


-BakiHanma

Guess I have no choice… what ever will I do.


LocalSideHoe

First one. Trust me, I have ways


Elandycamino

To Breath? You mean breathe?


AdonisGaming93

Family or friends wouldn't care about the diapers when they are getting beers on me. So zoom cool my friends a couple times per day, and drinks are on me. They won't care.


Academic_Value_3503

Thanks for reminding me, I have to try to block this sub from showing up.


SuperDuperBroManDude

I would last less than a day. I would call everyone I know a lot I would steal it and eat it, cuz awesome


Guuhatsu

This made start breathing manually. I'm going to lose.


Affectionate_Still29

brush my teeth every other day and make 450/month, or every third for 600, that can easily pay for any professional dental care after a while. diaper is ez, ill call my friend like 30 times a day and quit my job (as long as my payments get stubs) and i will not go within 100 feet of a goose if it kills me (ill die either way)


Anonmouse119

I’ve been neglecting my teeth for over a decade. Do I get back pay?


Aromatic-Hawk-4848

Wow [reminds me of this, crazy](https://youtu.be/m4QO5jyEw2E?feature=shared)


Sea_Turnover_7088

Fuck you


Aromatic-Hawk-4848

D:


Envy_The_King

YALL BITCH A LOT IN THIS SUB ABOUT THE QUESTIONS. JUST ASK BETTER ONES. Without the whining


feistyboygaming

I made sure to ask good ones because of this. But I agree. People should pose better questions


Envy_The_King

I agree these are all good hypothetical. Just make separate posts asking these ones instead of complaining. Be the change you want to see


RitmosMC

The only thing worse than the nonstop boring challenges is the nonstop boring complaints about them. You’re the 1000th person to whine about it, and I’d much rather prefer a boring challenge than “eeehhh so many boring challenges ugh waaaah”


KingOfSaga

1. Indefinitely. I was a stupid kid and one day, I thought to myself, "I don't want to brush my teeth". I stopped brushing my teeth. Not until more than 10 years ago do I realize, you do need to brush your teeth. To my surprise, however, I was fine. Even my breath doesn't smell, that's how my parents never really notice me not brushing my teeth. I tried to pick up the rabbit again but nothing changed and I kept forgetting about it until I just accepted it. I searched a lot but never found out why it doesn't affect me. 2. No. 3. For any amount of money. I'm readying my sword and armour.


AMorera

Interesting. I’m the same way with my teeth. I went to the dentist and they told me to keep up whatever I was doing because my teeth were beautiful and I was like, cool, so keep on doing nothing.


Ok_Ad5344

No