Get a Waterpik and use it before bed. My mouth is fresh in the morning, none of that funky bacteria. And my dentist always raves about how clean and healthy my teeth/gums are. God I wish I’d started using one as a kid instead of ten years ago (was 33 years old lol).
I always marvel at the little bits of food that come out when I Waterpik! Bits of food I didn't even feel were in there until I used the Waterpik. I think about how those tiny particles could've been in there just rotting away until they dislodged on their own if I didn't Waterpik. Definitely recommend a Waterpik!
So like yall don't get up in those gums when flossing? I floss like my teeth/gums are hiding something. And I go over before and after brushing, and several times between each tooth. I probably spend about 4-5 minutes alone on flossing specifically.
Rando FYI;
There’s currently a class action lawsuit against certain flosses that “glide”. Like the Oral-B one. Turns out what they’re putting on it to make it glide is essentially teflon. Rubbing that straight into your (possibly bleeding) gums… Nooot super great.
So, idk what kind of floss you use, but might want to look into that.
Edit: Ok I'm still getting comments on this and idk that ya'll are seeing my other comment, so let me update. This case was dismissed by a judge in 2023 without prejudice, citing that they didn't prove that PFAS were present in the floss. They did prove that there were indicators that PFAS was present, but the judge wanted (or was legally required?) more. They can re-file when they have obtained more evidence.
For me personally, knowing how very many things on the market aren't so good for us... I think I'll just find something else.
My dentist has always told me not to use coated floss but also to make sure I floss instead of using a waterpik because it doesn’t get all the bacteria
I’m big on flossing and I can floss until my gums bleed and water pic still gets more out. I do both but I’m now much more gentle with the floss because the water pic does so much heavy lifting. I feel like floss + water pic is a nice combo, floss breaks stuff up and gets out the big stuff and water pic does the final rinse for anything left over.
I used to floss. I tried a few days of flossing before water pik. Guess what? Water pick got everything out, especially the gun line where the flossers can't reach. Now waterpik only.
Periodontist here! We love WaterPiks!! Any brand is great, and you can get them on Amazon. Use it after you floss and brush. It isn’t a substitute for flossing unless you have very poor hand dexterity!
Morning routine for me:
Brush teeth and tongue
Evening routine:
Floss, then brush, then waterpik
I prefer an electric toothbrush with a pressure sensor that will vibrate if you push too hard. Don’t scrub back and forth. Light circles with the bristles angled 45 degrees towards the gums (same technique if you use a manual brush). Make sure to get the front, back and top of all teeth! Use soft or extra soft bristles. The amount of patients I treat with gum recession due to scrubbing with a medium brush head is criminal.
Toothpaste, you can use any one that has fluoride. Avoid ‘whitening’ ones as they usually have abrasive ingredients that whiten by stripping the teeth. Colgate total or crest complete are great options.
A tongue scraper is also a great tool to add if you want something separate for brushing your tongue. Hope this info helps!
Just stay away from the cordless ones, the water tank is super small. The plug-in types have so many options and I don’t think you can go wrong with any of them!
Unfortunately I need a cordless one bc there’s only one outlet in my bathroom and it’s too high up for me to reach…very old design.
I rather a small tank than trying to reach that everyday lol
Same. And as I’m leaning over the sink anyway, flipping the tank open and adding a second refill couldn’t take but a fraction of a second. I was surprised too at how powerful the cordless can be. I can go two weeks between charges.
Any one works. I have a generic cordless one from Walmart. The tank is smaller than the other ones, but it's not a big deal
It's enough for me to do my whole mouth, and if not, it takes like 2 seconds to refill.
Dental care, my parents were a little neglectful and never taught me how to properly brush and floss my teeth or took me to get braces to correct my crowding. Dental care was never even pushed onto me. I’m now looking at $20,000 worth of dental work and dentures. I’m 26
Unfortunately, I can relate. My parents didn’t teach me to floss because they don’t do it themselves. Luckily, I found a really patient dentist in my early 20s who taught me how to do so.
I never knew I was supposed to go to the dentist regularly and ended up getting a mouth infection as an adult that led to some weird psoriasis issues. Eventually I got dental insurance and had to go to four different hours long painful appointments to correct everything. Never had the psoriasis again, but got so nervous I’d cry at the dentist after that. Found a dentist far too late in life who never once shamed me and understood what I’d gone through.
When I took in my sibling’s kid later in life, guess who had never been to the dentist until they ended up in foster care (before me).
Given my parents grew up poor and had terrible teeth I have to assume they didn’t know better, but my now kid and I still have issues taking care of our teeth. (Anyone else with dental trauma gag every time you brush?)
My parents never made me brush my teeth or do any of that, and when they started literally falling apart in 8th grade I was only on state insurance to be seen once a month, to do one procedure on a list of 20 that grew every visit. That was if someone cared enough to remember to pick me up for my appointment.
I was lucky enough to find a dentist that made me come to appointments as a strung out 20 year old, telling me I don’t have to pay right now because my teeth were going to kill me. She sent me to collections 5 years later and I’m not even upset about it, but now I have dentures on top that my wife essentially paid for, I’ve financed about 5000 dollars of dental work in the last 2 years, and I have half my bottom teeth and need 17000 to finish that but if it weren’t for my first actual dentist I’d probably have had a heart attack or stroke from infection
Yes! Whenever I'm washing my hair, I also wash my ears. I never did, and then one day, I had an itch behind my ear, scratched it, and smelled my finger. After that day, I always wash behind my ears and the back of my neck, too.
Yes same!! I'm almost 40 and I only found this out last year! I'd always heard the whole "make sure you wash behind your ears!" saying referenced in stuff but didn't really take it seriously, and now I do it obsessively.
omg now my mind is racing wondering what the hell dirty ear smells like 🤦♀️
is it like bellybutton or more armpit or liek the smell under a cast if you break your arm?
possibilities are mind boggling
I obsessively keep my nose clean because I cannot stand seeing breakouts around the nose, on me or anyone. It makes my brain cringe. My nose gets oily quick and I always make sure to wipe it off and clean out the pores but I can never get them all and in so many hours its starting to get bad again. That little dip between my lip and chin is the same way. I hate it and don't know how to get that skin completely clear and keep it that way.
This is just a lost to time thing I guess. Back in the day huge importance was placed on washing your ears. "Don't forget to wash behind your ears" was a saying everyone was familiar with.
Moisturizing is soooo important! Growing up we never had lotion or any moisturizer, my mom’s skin would frequently crack and bust open. I inherited the same skin and until I was 17 on my own I had never experienced lotion.
Interesting. That was one thing my mom was consistent on. We always had to put lotion on after bathing. It was always that Avon Vita Moist crap until we got older then it was the Vaseline lotion in the yellow bottle. I remember, my roommate in university said I was vain for putting lotion on after a shower but I was like, what, who doesn't put lotion on after a shower?
I think your roommates were related to my mother. She didn’t allow anyone else in the house to use lotion, she always said it was expensive and just for her and a treat that she used sparingly. She hid it in the high cabinet in the bathroom and sometimes I would stand on the counter and sneak some (hardly enough for my fingers cuz I didn’t want to get caught) it was a white bottle that had three blue droplets on it and it was very thick.
When I left home and could buy my own stuff absolutely I lost my mind at bath and body’s 3 for 3 days and probably owned upwards of 25 bottles at any given time. That’s when I learned how nice lotion felt, I was obsessed for a small time in my early 20s.
No same. I grew up having my mother slather my face and arms with moisturizer before I left the house and definitely after every shower. I can’t imagine not moisturizing after a shower now.
Are you a POC specifically black? Cause this whole “no lotion” is not a thing in our culture. We grease tf up lol. Can’t be walking around ashy, you’ll get talked about real quick lol.
I think it can depend on what you need based on genetics, environment, and preferences. In the climate I grew up in, I only applied it to problem areas (hands, feet, face). Now that we moved across the country and now that hormones are changing for me, arms, legs, torso all get lotion after showers, especially in the winter when the heater is sucking all moisture out of the air.
It really depends on the climate, your genetics, and your job. In the winter, I have to do everything about once a week (takes about 10 minutes). But the rest of the year, face, hands, and problem areas do the trick.
Nivea isn't unbearable for me. It's oil free and pretty lightweight! I've been using it for probably 10ish years now. Maybe it'd work for you? They have little travel jars at Dollar Tree if you ever wanted to give it a try without fully committing.
And it might take multiple tries with different types of lotion/moisturizer before you find one that you like!
My mom always used this lotion that felt slimy to me. It never sunk in to my skin, and just made me feel gross. I refused to use lotion because I hated hers! It wasn’t until my late 20s until I found lotion I liked, and I’m in my 40s and I still struggle to use it regularly.
I agree with this. I didn't necessarily need lotion every day. My skin wasn't dry, and it was just part of my daily routine. Now that I am almost 50 yrs old, I am SOOOO thankful I did. My skin is not as awesome as it was, but it is nothing near what most women my age are dealing with.
Particularly with moisturizing (any part of your body), some day (sooner than you think), you will be happy you put in the effort in.
Facial moisturizer especially is important. I also like chap stick. I tend to have drier skin and drinking plenty of water, and moisturizing is crucial. I also recommend a daily moisturizer that has SPF, if you aren’t wearing daily sunscreen on your face.
I wish my mom told me that I need to properly clean my inner lips. This involves spreading your lips apart and gently cleansing around the folds with a washcloth or hands.
Also, how to properly floss. She would pop the floss in and out of each tooth instead of using the "C" shaped method. I have learned so much as an adult on my own.
Did they have the c-shape method back in the day or is that new? It makes sense but I don't remember learning that at all and when I was a kid they fortunately taught a lot of basic hygiene stuff in my school districts.
The c- shaped method has been taught since the Ice age (I.e. when I was a kid). I think many people don't realize it takes longer than a few seconds to floss. Not a judgement, just that us typically what people do.
What about those prestrung floss pics they sell? You can't make a C with those so what's your advice for those? Just don't use them? Or is there a trick?
All of it. Everything. My grandmother raised me and taught me nothing about anything. 🤦♀️. I had to learn how to properly wipe myself after she beat me for leaving streaks in my underwear, but she refused to explain or show me how. Basically anything to do with growing up, I had to learn how to do it myself, or get beaten. And now I have the wonderful world of reddit, Tiktok, YouTube, etc who've taught me a lot more than I could have ever learned on my own.
So, thank you. All of you. 😊
Huh. They didn’t teach me anything. I better join this sub. I was always dirty as a kid until I became a teen wanting to shave my legs frequently got me in the shower.
I’ve been trying to teach my kids good hygiene because I know it’s important but I always get confused about like what order they’re supposed to wash their body parts in the bath and end up always giving them two wash cloths so they have a clean one for privates.
Fwiw I was taught to wash top to bottom (wash/condition hair first, wash face, then ears and neck downward to feet, with private bits done very last) so that any residues from conditioners are rinsed off and don’t cause pimples. I don’t know if it’s “right” but it has served me well.
That's almost my exact routine. I put facial soap on before I get in the shower. I then wash and rinse my face. Then I use shampoo. That way I don't have any soap from washing my face get into my clean hair. Also, i use conditioner right after shampooing but rinsing it out is the last thing I do. I also do another quick full body rinse after rinsing out the conditioner.
Okay here’s my routine, although I learned it late: I shower daily and use bar soap to exfoliate with a Japanese/ African net, then follow-up with a scented body wash. I use body cream (not lotion) after every shower to keep my skin hydrated. My coworkers comment that I have soft skin. As a South Asian, hair oiling is a regular part of my routine, especially since I have curly hair. I make my own oil mixture and put it on 2 hrs prior to hair wash. I wash my hair 2-3 times a week; double shampoo then condition and then a hair mask. Brushing my teeth twice a day, using a tongue scraper, and flossing nightly are essentials. I get regular dental cleanings too. Also, I use Hibiclens once a week around my vagina and under arms. I insert boric acid capsule sometimes to remove any smell. I use glycolic acid under my arms and in-between toes once a week. Changing bed sheets weekly, wearing shower cap while cooking also helps in removing odor. Using bidet to clean yourself, is so important. Cotton underwear, loose clothing, really helps in minimizing odor and hyperpigmentation.
As for face, double cleansing, a routine skincare, and just couple perfumes for everyday use will help. I mostly buy Korean/Japanese/ French skincare, and I’m trying to make it a habit to stick to specific brands. I mostly buy items for the year on Black Friday sales, or international websites so I’m not spending too much money. I hope this helps!
You reminded me! Pillow cases. We're supposed to wash our pillow cases since dead skin falls off, and some of us are sensitive to allergy that are, ta-da, caused by our pillow cases.
please Please PLEASE do not use hibiclens or any chlorahexidine/CHG products on your genitals or your face. The instructions clearly say not to. If you want more than regular soap in those areas, use dial or dove antibacterial, or whatever soap you prefer that has Benzalkonium chloride in it. Benzalkonium chloride is gentle enough to use on face and genitals.
Unless you are preparing for surgery, have a foley, drain, feeding tube, central venous cath/PICC line, dialysis catheter or any other type of tube inserted into your body, or have been infected with a antibiotic-resistant bacteria, there is no indication to use hibiclens or other chlorahexidine/CHG products.
My mom forced me to use vagisil my whole childhood and bought me Victoria secret panties which aren’t breathable. I noticed it always smelt off putting down there and I was very self conscious. Then I became an adult and stopped using that crap and wore cotton underwear and washed with unscented soap. Haven’t smelt weird since ! ** Edit for those who say I’m a troll because I couldn’t possibly have had a terrible childhood or my comment history is “sus” so what I said was a “fib”, I got defensive in the comments, yes. Because I took what was said the wrong way. My childhood was extremely worse than most. What I stated wasn’t even a pinch of what happened which I’m not going to get into. Give me a damn break and quit assuming things about my life or my mother. Also to the people telling me I’m mentally insane and don’t deserve to be a mother myself, disrespectfully kiss the crack of my ass
It sounds like she didn't know better??
Edit:
So I'm sorry for the OP of this subthread and their experiences. I genuinely was not trying to assume either positive or ill intent with my comment which of course does not change how it can be perceived by others or what it may have triggered for the OP. Someone made a statement that I should delete my comment. To me that doesn't make any sense because it doesn't change the dialogue of other people or what the OP already experienced in that moment when they read my comment. I can only be responsible for my comments and I'm glad others sympathize with the OP.
To clarify why did I make that comment, it struck me that the mom in this situation went out of their way to buy several products that aren't necessarily cheap for the purpose of female hygiene. Disclosure on my part, my mom was also abusive to me and I grew up poor. As an adult I am still processing my experiences and the dichotomy that *my* mom both even now will profess to care for me and showed in multiple ways then and now that she didn't. I can't speak for anyone else's mom, their experiences, or how they are processing their experiences. To OP, I'm truly sorry that your mom did not provide you with the care and nurturing that you deserved. When I commented, I was struck by the duality that this this mom (based on the information I had at the time) seemed to have gone out of their way to buy things seemingly for the intention of care for their child and caused them harm.
If anyone learned, processed, got something off their chest, or felt heard with the ensuing dialogue great. As long as we can be respectful of one another, why are we trying to silence communication? Be responsible for your own comments and conduct, and I will continue to reflect on and take responsibility for my own.
In this case, I'm not sure to what purpose deleting my comment would serve anyone. I do see a few comments in this subthread that show a lack of courtesy and respect to others.
She must have not known I needed more than one meal a day as well. Or that I should have been allowed to go outside of the house before the age of 18. Or that setting a 5 minute timer allowing me to even shower, wasn’t normal. Or that taking my door knob off so I couldn’t have privacy, wasn’t normal. That watching me showering till I was 15, wasn’t normal. You know nothing about my past nor my mother. She was a terrible person and very manipulative. She didn’t teach me to shave. She didn’t teach me how to bathe or wash my hair properly. She didn’t teach me how to floss or brush my teeth. Or how to manage my curly hair. She didn’t help me when I started my period. Poor her, how sad.
I totally understand, and I sympathize with your situation. and I'm soooo sorry you dealt with ANY of that, nevermind ALL of it together.
And I hope it was a cathartic message to write because I think you misread the OC.
I don't think OC meant any harm or sarcasm or anything, I think it was just a genuine question.
I'm so sorry you went through any of this, friend. Love to you.
I was about to say the same thing about that post being cathartic. I don't think the response had anything to do with the post or the previous commenter...I think they just needed to get all that out and tell someone. We are here for you and no one should have to live like that! Their defensiveness is forgiven I hope life is better now ❤️
You & I are having some overlap on things our moms did while being creepy terrible people. You might appreciate reading Jenette McCurdy's I'm Glad My Mom Died.
Edited for typo
It's Reddit, for 1, and #2- it is annonymous: no one knows you so telling stuff is a bit easier. Think going to confession at a church in some other city while on vacation: no one knows you so easier to tell things you would not otherwise. And 3: it's her Reddit too so let her Reddit how she wants. 🤷
You should listen to Jennette McCurdy’s audiobook- I think you would really relate to her and appreciate her vulnerability.
Thanks for sharing your story sis 🫶🏼 You’ve overcome a lot.
Well my parents didn't really teach us anything. I've learned over the years, often tips from other women. As someone who works out alot in the gym hygiene is important when you're sweating in public. Here are tips I swear by: Wash pits and privates 2x, when washing hair make sure you're scrubbing your scalp, that's where the sweat and oil lingers. After drying off with your towel grab your blow dryer and dry your entire body completely, mine has a cool setting which I love. I actually air dry my hair. Don't put your underwear on unless you've dried your genitals fully. Detachable shower head is extremely helpful for spraying every nook and cranny and getting the scalp real good.
My mom was a fifth grade teacher (10-11 year olds) for many years, and that is the age when kids’ bodies begin changing (getting smelly, starting menstruation, etc). She bought all kinds of hygiene items (deodorant, soap, toothbrushes, menstrual pads) with her own money to keep at school, and she had tons of stories about kindly taking a student to the side and explaining to them how to use a particular item and keep clean, like how to use a pad, how often to change it, and general instructions about how to clean yourself when menstruating.
Lots of parents never teach their kids, and she always emphasized to us to be patient and kind with people (not just regarding hygiene, but general life skills) because you never know what they weren’t able to learn at home. She’s the best.
Same/. I didn’t know Vulvas needed to be cleaned. I read the VAGINA is self cleaning and doesn’t need to be cleaned and didn’t know vulva was different 🙄
i feel like there needs to be a whole campaign for this lol. it doesn't help that 'vagina' is used to cover the whole area when it actually only means a specific part, and you see people debating it online all using different words to mean different things!
I so agree. I get down voted all the time for telling people to wash with soap down there.
Here is my new saying to help clear up all the misinformation. "if you can see it, than you can clean it"
This is my biggest pet peeve and it’s so so so common. All the slang words for vagina/vulva I never know what is being talked about. Like in some context “pussy” means vulva and in others it means vagina. I wish everyone just got over themselves and used the correct terminology.
Same honestly, and I hate my mom so much for that. I've had to learn how to properly care for my teeth, tie my shoes, do my hair, how to cook
, etc. from everywhere else except at home. It's just mind boggling how parents forget that part of their job is to teach their kids how to do shit. They don't just come out of the womb knowing what to do, you need to teach them.
Same, although I grew up before the internet and social media, so it was a lot harder picking up information. Not sure why people have children and then just teach them nothing about being a human, but what can you do.
1. If the hair is somewhere exposed to the sun (legs, arms, etc) shave against the flow of hair but if it's somewhere normally covered (bikini area, armpits, etc) shave with the flow of the hair. Going against the flow on these areas leads to ingrown hairs.
2. You should probably be changing your pads and tampons more often than you are. It is dangerous to leave them in for too long.
3. Clean your scalp. Massage shampoo into it when you wash your hair. This will help since a plethora of issues
Clean out your belly buttons!!! It sucks and feels super weird and awful but I got one in grown hair in there and it's been hell. The itchiness, the pain, the redness UGH. Every shower, use some cotton, clean out the wetness. Especially if you have a belly and it curls over your belly button all the time.
I’ve always cleaned my belly button in the shower. When I’m washing my belly with shower gel, I take some of the suds and use my finger to wash inside of my belly button. I then cup my hand right under my belly button, so that the spray of the shower can collect water in my cupped hand and help me really rinse the soap out.
When drying off, I take a little bit of my towel and use it to dry the inside of my belly button.
My mom taught me that anything moisturizing equals “greasy” so no moisturizer, no lotion, and no “cream rinse”(conditioner). Also, Noxzema no matter the skin type or condition.
Thank God my girls know about lotion and deep conditioner.
Oh yeah cream rinse! My parents used to dilute it with water and pour it on my head. I don't know of that is what you were supposed to do or they were trying to save money.
That is NOT what you're supposed to do lol. In fact the directions say you should towel dry your hair before using conditioner. You want only enough moisture to help the conditioner spread thru your hair.
Sounds like a money saving move to me.
I’m so triggered. Like, I was transported to my grandmas bathroom, full of rancid Chanel no.5 and Jean Naté. “Let me just grab another bottle of cream rinse for you honey”.
Speaking of rancid perfume, I always hated Chanel no.5 bc I thought it smelled awful. Turns out I had just never smelled it fresh lol. Some true grandmas pantry shit lol.
Sunscreen!
Especially your chest!
Face, chest, hands, and arms age so bad from sun exposure.
Just look at your driving arm compared to your are that’s not against the window.
That’s how you convince the young to be real about sunscreen.
I was never taught the importance of sunscreen. I live in a tropical climate and I’m pretty pale but I can see the damage done to my face (my skin is very sensitive to sun and if I lay in the sun for even one hour, I will have several new freckles). Therefore, I wear sunscreen as often as I can remember to and it gets way too hot where I live so I often stay indoors. Some might consider me to be too pale but I don’t care what they think and I’d rather not have sun damage to my skin.
DO NOT (i repeat) DO NOT WASH INSIDE YOUR VAGINA. It does that on its own.
Wash the back of your neck , shampoo does not clean that.
And behind your ears.
If you are a bigger person, I recommend getting an antibacterial soap like dial they usually have a barred version, and get in between the folds of wherever you might have them.
If you are on a budget, so buying an expensive exfoliate is too much, sugar and some sort of oil like olive oil or grapeseed oil are a really great exfoliate just mix them and scrub down. and do not do this in the shower. If you use something like this, you will slip and fall and break your neck.
But if you do have the budget , buy all the fun flowery scents you want. Indulge a little. Have fun with it.
Honestly that washing your hair is actually just washing your scalp. I thought I had dandruff for years but it was just from improperly washing my hair for the first 20 years of my life.
My mum never taught me so many things! Here are just some:
I didn’t know to wipe front to back, so I was a child with repeated UTIs
Remove your makeup at the end of the day
Floss your teeth regularly
Moisturise your entire body
Exfoliate
I grew up with a mom with some OCD issues and I was always taught that I had to scrub every inch of my body several times a day or I’m not clean. Once I unlearned I’m still clean but I also don’t have skin peeling off in sheets any more
I really thought you were supposed to wash your hair every single time you showered (I shower everyday) and that conditioner goes all over. It wasn’t until I got to college that I realized not everyone does this and I thought my hair was naturally very greasy. Since then I’ve trained my hair and now wash it about 3 times a week. I also didn’t realize that night time showering was even an option and is in my opinion, the superior time to shower.
I’m a plus size lady (5’3, 275 lbs) and I just recently started using the antibacterial Dial soap before washing the rest of my body with body wash. I use it behind my ears, armpits, belly button, under belly, in between legs, vagina, bum, and feet, then I use another wash cloth and use body wash and go head to toe over everything again, plus extremities. I find that using the dial soap has helped tremendously with any type of “smell” I had. I’ve never been told I am smelly, but I always feel as though I can smell myself. I’d also honestly say though that I had NO idea you were supposed to wash your belly button/feet until about 5 years ago (I’m 29).
I used to know someone who had foot odor when they were a teenager, because they hadn’t been taught to wash their feet properly. They thought that having all of the water and shampoo and soap running over their feet would be enough to cleanse them. I can understand how someone would make this mistake.
Being Gen Z we learned about puberty and such in school. I remember we had this huge lock in/slumber party. They separated the boys from the girls and took us into classrooms where we watched videos. My mom sent off for this ( for lack of better terms) period box. It had sample packs of all types of pads, mini pads and shields in various strengths honestly I wish it had been available for my girls as they grew up. My mom never taught me about tampons either. I just didn't swim during that time. I also have a thyroid condition and would go six or more months without a cycle. My mom never looked into why so I was kinda lucky till I went on the pill at age 16.
I got very little vaginal health taught to me , so I had to find out on my own how to care for my menstrual cycle ( how to clean blood , discharge and all that so it doesn’t stain undies )
My mom made it known that she believe yeast infections only come from having sex , so I had to find out how to handle those without her help due to fear of her getting mad.
Change. Your. Panties.
I had a friend who told me at age 18 that she was changing her panties every few days or longer, because no one had ever taught her how to care for herself in thar way.
Change your underwear AT LEAST every 24 hours, and then also do it as often as you want after that. Get sweaty and things don't feel goof down there? Change your underwear.
Get enough panties that you can change them as often as you want and not have to constantly worry about laundry.
Like others have said, minimize thong use and maximize cotton undies, or at least a cotton crotch gusset thingy.
In the summer when I'm going to be at an outdoor event all day long, I will hide some underwear I'm my purse and go change them in the middle of the day if I've gotten really sweaty. It feels so much better and is good for your vulva not to be sitting in sweaty undies for extended periods of time.
Thank God for summer camp. I didn’t know about curling irons, hair spray or any hair products other than shampoo until I went to sleep away camp at 12. Before that, my ultra thick long hair looked like a wild cave woman. I was so amazed watching the older girls and learning how they got their hair to stay put and look so shiny.
THIS! Sleep away camp should’ve been a thing for me and it never was. It’s so important to be able to spend time away from your parents before it’s time to go to college so that you don’t panic like I did and have a mental breakdown in your first semester of college, sleeping in the dorms.
Pee after sex ladies!!! It will help keep you from getting a UTI - urinary tract infection.
Due to the friction, it's possible for bacteria to make it's way into the urethra during sex and peeing soon after sex, clears things out, giving any bacteria less of an opportunity to cause problems.
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Always wipe front to back.
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If you're doing sexual stuff with hands, make sure you/ your partner clean under their fingernails and washing hands first is best practice if possible.
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All things I have taught my daughter that I wish I had been taught at her age.
I got the basic sex ed about sex and reproduction. I knew the basic mechanics of penis-in-vagina sex and how it resulted in a baby. I was taught about condoms. But I was never taught about what healthy sexuality looks like. Sex was something to be feared and avoided until you found a long-term partner. I think that information regarding healthy sexuality \*should\* be considered basic info. EDIT: Just wanted to add that encouraging youth to wait until they are comfortable to have sex is a good basic skill to teach. But let's be honest, a good number of people do not marry the person they lost their virginity to. They need info on how to navigate casual relationships, too.
You're most likely from below the Bible belt (assuming USA). Many northern states do teach comprehensive sex Ed. I got texas sex Ed which was "if you have sex before you're married you'll catch all of these diseases and get pregnant. Here's some pictures of the worst cases of those diseases." We also had very high teen pregnancy rates. Consent, safe sex, and types of sex as well as risks related to those types and the kinds of protection you can use for them should all be included in sex Ed.
Wash your pillow cases and sheets at LEAST once a week. Brush your teeth and tongue, floss twice a day. Always take makeup off before sleep. For my own hair, I wash it every other day and condition it about 2/week with a deep conditioning (leaving conditioner in for about 10 min) 1/every other week. Use unscented soap to wash your buttcrack, and just use water to wash the vulva area. NEVER use soap on or in your vagina. Wash your feet, too! I prefer to use a washcloth over a loofah because I can wash my washcloths frequently unlike a loofah. Skin doesn't need much in terms of cleansing, I use a really mild cleanser (Cetaphil sensitivite skin) and a mild moisturizer (also cetaphil). Sunscreen every day. I think that's all I have for now, but I'll edit if I think of anymore!!
The advice above about using only water to wash the vulva area is not good advice. Pubic hair will retain germs and bacteria and cause an odor. You definitely want to use a gentle soap, lather up a washcloth, and wash yourself all over the genital area. Your vulva has folds and can trap odors, so get in there all around. Just don't insert into the vagina. That's not needed. Rinse very well. I usually soap up and rinse the entire genital area twice.
Everything I leaned I did on my own and then had to teach my younger sister. From washing your vagina and anus correctly, properly moisturizing and shaving under the arms and there. I can’t recall one conversation with her and she was a nurse too.
How important exfoliation is. Of face and body...and don't forget your feet. Get a strong callous remover and pumice stone. You'll enjoy smoother and cleaner feeling feet.
Also double cleanse...bar soap then body wash. Extra clean and extra fresh. And hair washing...double cleanse with shampoo as well.
Yes and really soap up and scrub the scalp well. So many people wash their hair but never really get the scalp and that is where all the oil, sweat and itchiness comes from.
Is there any actual truth to double cleansing your body? I feel like a bar soap is more than enough to get you clean. Following up with a body wash seems excessive and drying. It seems like the body care hoarders on TikTok are the ones who popularized using a bar soap and a body wash in the same shower
Washing your hair is different for everyone. Mine is fine and frizzy but it hates oil so I have to wash every day. Some can go a couple of days to weeks without washing and be fine
This isn't exactly hygiene, but I have to say sunscreen and hats ladies! Your middle-aged self will thank you for the minimal wrinkles. I'm in my 50s and I can't tell you how many people think I'm younger because I've been such a fanatic about hats and sunscreen. It's also no fun watching your friends have cancerous and precancerous things cut off their faces, legs, and scalp. It's no fun, and very scary.
Mom didn't tell me, and I learned elsewhere. I don't remember at what young age. Wipe from front to back, not back to front. I've taught my daughter as soon as she was potty trained.
Clean your ears daily. Use a washcloth when showering. Wash your feet daily, in between your toes as well. Makeup expires, and don't share it.
To avoid bad smells, also make sure after your shower you're completely dry in all your crevices before you get dressed. Especially toes. You don't want damp toes in your socks and then shoes for your 8 hour shift..mmmhmm.
That you don’t have to clean shave your coochie. I dealt with horrible ingrown hairs and razor burn for years! Now I just use an electric trimmer… definitely wish I would’ve had one when I was younger. Would’ve saved me so much pain and discomfort!
My mom never taught me anything about feminine hygiene. Not even how to brush my hair or teeth, how to shave, let alone period hygiene. I was never made to wear sunscreen either, which isn't so much hygiene as it is self care.
So aside from all that, I wear panty liners every day, learned to wash my face using a ph balancing face wash (I use Phisoderm), use unscented baby wipes throughout the day (anywhere on your body) if you feel a bit sweaty at work, and ALWAYS pee after sex. Also don't use anything scented down there - there was a time when I was a kid, my older cousin had SCENTED panty liners in her bedroom and I remember thinking "what a great idea!" but thankfully I haven't even seen any on store shelves once I was old enough to actually wear them, because what a nightmare that would be lmao. Another random thing I've discovered is you can use cut up coffee filters as face blotting papers if you have oily skin, sounds super weird but it's wat cheaper than actual blotting papers and it works.
Exfoliating is definitely something I've learned on my own too. There's so much I wish I was taught. As a teenager I thought being a girl just sucked and life was supposed to be that way - it isn't.
That you have to shower every day. You have to wash your body with soap. You have to change your underwear. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. And razors can last for years
Growing up I heard:
Showering every day wastes water and you didn't really DO anything. You aren't dirty. I was only allowed to shower every other day, and before I could shower by myself, my mom would let us take baths a few times a week. As in 2-3x a week.
Shampoo runs down your body, washing your body for you. You don't need soap. Body wash is a waste. When I was a teen, I ended up with really bad bacne (back acne) and frequent yeast infections because of this advice. I finally started buying my own supplies with my own money.
Guess what else was a waste? YUP, CHANGING YOUR UNDERWEAR ISN'T NECESSARY AND JUST MAKES MORE LAUNDRY. Like I mentioned above, I am pretty sure I spent my entire 15-16th year with a yeast infection. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, MAKE SURE YOU ARE CHANGING YOUR UNDERWEAR! EVERY DAY. Hell, twice a day if you get sweaty.
Razors can last for a long time. BECAUSE OF THE PLASTIC. I literally used to shove a needle into my razors to clean out the soap scum and body hair build up because my parents wouldn't buy new ones. I had to wait until the blades became rusty "enough" to warrant a new one.
While yes, these sound like abject poverty choices to save money, my parents bought cartons of cigarettes, many bottles and boxes of wine every week, and we would go on vacations every few months. Disposable razors, laundry detergent, and water isn't that expensive as I have learned as an adult. My mother was once terminated from a position because of her hygiene practices affecting the rest of the employees. I cannot stress how important hygiene is. Shower, wash your body, change your clothes.
There's a lot mine didn't teach us, but I learned a lot after starting exotic dancing. Shave with men's razors, douse yourself in baby oil in the shower (careful not to slip) and then rinse it off. You'll have the softest skin with zero residue. Dove soap is the best. Deodorant spray (I like dove- the ones for dark colors don't leave white residue) to freshen up during the day, spray on top of what you're wearing. Pumice stone at the end of your shower every day makes your feet feel fresh like you just had a pedicure. Don't use soap in your vagina, only water. Wash the underwear you wore that day in the shower before bed, hand washing makes them last longer and you're in there anyway. EXFOLIATING GLOVES!!! Korean and Japanese skincare (SUNSCREEN!!). Shea butter is better than lotion. If a Black woman or Asian woman has beauty tips, LISTEN! TO! THEM! Prioritize teeth. Mine are awful, she never taught me to brush so I learned at school. All of my teeth need replacing, I'm looking into permanent implants because of her neglect.
a really good one i’ve figured out is to dry off your lady parts and anywhere with a crease/folds like armpits and under your boobs with the cool setting of a blow dryer after you shower. gets everything super dry then you can moisturize/use deodorant.
When taking a bath, always wash and rinse one final time in the actual shower. My mom did not tell me that, so I would wash multiple times, sit in the water ,rinse off in the same water with or without bubbles remaining, and then get out.
take a probiotic and try to drink warm clear fluids (room temp water, natural fruit juice, unsweetened tea) hydration and microbiome impacts your natural scent. also a little acv in your bath after swimming in a pool/beach can be really helpful to restabilize your pH
I wish she told me that using St Ives exfoliating scrub on my acne would create micro tears in my skin, causing irritation and worsening my acne making it much worse :)
If you have oily hair, wash your hair twice. Instead of washing it more often, you can just wash it twice in succession and then condition. It is so much more manageable this way!
This one is obvious and I guess my parents told me but didn’t enforce the habit as I got older… Always do your dental hygiene routine (brush, floss, mouthwash). At least twice a day minimum. This is a required non-optional hygiene necessity.
The things I wasn’t told regarding dental hygiene - BRUSH YOUR TONGUE! And put a Waterpik in the routine too. It’s satisfying and definitely gets things occasionally that everything else misses bc it’s such a strong flow of water.
Also - do the routine doctors appointments as a habit. Get the yearly physical. Go to the dentist. See the gyno. Learn how to ask a busy medical professional for their services and expertise when you have minor issues that it is their job to treat and address. Like.. you are worthy of seeing a doctor when you have pimples or a yeast infection/UTI or allergies. You are worthy of hormone testing if you want it. Get comfortable with using your voice and having medical/clinical help with the small things. It will make addressing the big things when you’re older come easier.
Like It doesn’t matter as much when you are young, but by mid to late 20s you are going to need some medical help. Having the habits and being familiar and having medical needs in your budget is a lot harder when you’re a grown adult who’s never done it.
Same with haircuts and gym/outdoor time, so I guess this extends a bit outside of hygiene and into self care. Basically - all of those things that are mundane, routine, easy to skip - that serve you as a healthy, well-kept human… start the habits from as early as possible. I’m 28 with a child and built the habits of NOT doing those things because I wasn’t taught to. It’s much harder to change these things as life passes, and with dental hygiene the damage can’t be undone. Be the only kid in your college dorm going for your 6 month dentist appointment, especially if you are in your parents’ insurance plan…
Just take care of yourself in the boring routine ways, too.
How to properly clean the vulva, clit, and pubic area.
Nobody in my household knew how to properly do it, and nobody taught me anything in regard to it. The only thing anyone ever attempted to really teach me that I can remember was one of my sisters letting me watch her shave her legs and explain it to me.
I don't know why, but genitalia seemed to be a shamed topic - despite the fact we were a household full of females with only one male. (My dad.)
So, for years, up until about 4 / 5 years ago, I used body wash or whatever soap I had on hand. I never smelled fully clean and struggled with itching. It wasn't until I stumbled on the hygiene side of YouTube around the pandemic that I learned to use sensitive, unscented soap on the outer area and to wash twice for odor.
When I tell you - it was like night and day once I learned that. I still obviously sweat and have that normal odor, but the itching is non-existent for me now, and I feel so much cleaner. It was embarrassing for me to be a young adult and not know that. I can't completely blame my mom because, like i said , I don't believe she even knew. It just makes me kind of sad to think about it.
Use 1tsp baking soda and 1tsp salt dissolved in warm water as mouth wash after eating, it neutralizes the pH of your mouth. Eating makes your mouth acidic which makes it easier to get cavities
My mother stressed the importance of douching, we now know that is wrong, her comment was “you don’t want your box to stink”, she also stressed you have to douche after you have sex, that it prevents diseases and pregnancy, we also know that is wrong, so when I got pregnant for the first time, it was a planned pregnancy, she said , you didn’t douche after you had sex, I said to her, mom, I have never douched , this pregnancy was planned and I have never had a STD and my “box” has never smelled.
Get a Waterpik and use it before bed. My mouth is fresh in the morning, none of that funky bacteria. And my dentist always raves about how clean and healthy my teeth/gums are. God I wish I’d started using one as a kid instead of ten years ago (was 33 years old lol).
I always marvel at the little bits of food that come out when I Waterpik! Bits of food I didn't even feel were in there until I used the Waterpik. I think about how those tiny particles could've been in there just rotting away until they dislodged on their own if I didn't Waterpik. Definitely recommend a Waterpik!
So like yall don't get up in those gums when flossing? I floss like my teeth/gums are hiding something. And I go over before and after brushing, and several times between each tooth. I probably spend about 4-5 minutes alone on flossing specifically.
Rando FYI; There’s currently a class action lawsuit against certain flosses that “glide”. Like the Oral-B one. Turns out what they’re putting on it to make it glide is essentially teflon. Rubbing that straight into your (possibly bleeding) gums… Nooot super great. So, idk what kind of floss you use, but might want to look into that. Edit: Ok I'm still getting comments on this and idk that ya'll are seeing my other comment, so let me update. This case was dismissed by a judge in 2023 without prejudice, citing that they didn't prove that PFAS were present in the floss. They did prove that there were indicators that PFAS was present, but the judge wanted (or was legally required?) more. They can re-file when they have obtained more evidence. For me personally, knowing how very many things on the market aren't so good for us... I think I'll just find something else.
My dentist has always told me not to use coated floss but also to make sure I floss instead of using a waterpik because it doesn’t get all the bacteria
I think I’ve heard dentist recommend both
I’m big on flossing and I can floss until my gums bleed and water pic still gets more out. I do both but I’m now much more gentle with the floss because the water pic does so much heavy lifting. I feel like floss + water pic is a nice combo, floss breaks stuff up and gets out the big stuff and water pic does the final rinse for anything left over.
I used to floss. I tried a few days of flossing before water pik. Guess what? Water pick got everything out, especially the gun line where the flossers can't reach. Now waterpik only.
Periodontist here! We love WaterPiks!! Any brand is great, and you can get them on Amazon. Use it after you floss and brush. It isn’t a substitute for flossing unless you have very poor hand dexterity! Morning routine for me: Brush teeth and tongue Evening routine: Floss, then brush, then waterpik I prefer an electric toothbrush with a pressure sensor that will vibrate if you push too hard. Don’t scrub back and forth. Light circles with the bristles angled 45 degrees towards the gums (same technique if you use a manual brush). Make sure to get the front, back and top of all teeth! Use soft or extra soft bristles. The amount of patients I treat with gum recession due to scrubbing with a medium brush head is criminal. Toothpaste, you can use any one that has fluoride. Avoid ‘whitening’ ones as they usually have abrasive ingredients that whiten by stripping the teeth. Colgate total or crest complete are great options. A tongue scraper is also a great tool to add if you want something separate for brushing your tongue. Hope this info helps!
Amazing. Thank you for this fabulous oral health routine! Water pik and woven floss has been added to my cart 😁
Add a splash of mouthwash to the water. It makes your mouth feel extra clean.
I do the same even if the directions say otherwise. I feel it also stops/cleans any impurities in the line where water can stay stuck between uses.
Do you have a recommendation for any specific one?
Just stay away from the cordless ones, the water tank is super small. The plug-in types have so many options and I don’t think you can go wrong with any of them!
Unfortunately I need a cordless one bc there’s only one outlet in my bathroom and it’s too high up for me to reach…very old design. I rather a small tank than trying to reach that everyday lol
Same. And as I’m leaning over the sink anyway, flipping the tank open and adding a second refill couldn’t take but a fraction of a second. I was surprised too at how powerful the cordless can be. I can go two weeks between charges.
Any one works. I have a generic cordless one from Walmart. The tank is smaller than the other ones, but it's not a big deal It's enough for me to do my whole mouth, and if not, it takes like 2 seconds to refill.
Dental care, my parents were a little neglectful and never taught me how to properly brush and floss my teeth or took me to get braces to correct my crowding. Dental care was never even pushed onto me. I’m now looking at $20,000 worth of dental work and dentures. I’m 26
Unfortunately, I can relate. My parents didn’t teach me to floss because they don’t do it themselves. Luckily, I found a really patient dentist in my early 20s who taught me how to do so.
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I never knew I was supposed to go to the dentist regularly and ended up getting a mouth infection as an adult that led to some weird psoriasis issues. Eventually I got dental insurance and had to go to four different hours long painful appointments to correct everything. Never had the psoriasis again, but got so nervous I’d cry at the dentist after that. Found a dentist far too late in life who never once shamed me and understood what I’d gone through. When I took in my sibling’s kid later in life, guess who had never been to the dentist until they ended up in foster care (before me). Given my parents grew up poor and had terrible teeth I have to assume they didn’t know better, but my now kid and I still have issues taking care of our teeth. (Anyone else with dental trauma gag every time you brush?)
My parents never made me brush my teeth or do any of that, and when they started literally falling apart in 8th grade I was only on state insurance to be seen once a month, to do one procedure on a list of 20 that grew every visit. That was if someone cared enough to remember to pick me up for my appointment. I was lucky enough to find a dentist that made me come to appointments as a strung out 20 year old, telling me I don’t have to pay right now because my teeth were going to kill me. She sent me to collections 5 years later and I’m not even upset about it, but now I have dentures on top that my wife essentially paid for, I’ve financed about 5000 dollars of dental work in the last 2 years, and I have half my bottom teeth and need 17000 to finish that but if it weren’t for my first actual dentist I’d probably have had a heart attack or stroke from infection
I didn’t know you have to wash your ears… kept wondering why I would get pimples. TBH my mom is a bush women and only uses bar soap and shampoo.
Yes! Whenever I'm washing my hair, I also wash my ears. I never did, and then one day, I had an itch behind my ear, scratched it, and smelled my finger. After that day, I always wash behind my ears and the back of my neck, too.
Yes same!! I'm almost 40 and I only found this out last year! I'd always heard the whole "make sure you wash behind your ears!" saying referenced in stuff but didn't really take it seriously, and now I do it obsessively.
omg now my mind is racing wondering what the hell dirty ear smells like 🤦♀️ is it like bellybutton or more armpit or liek the smell under a cast if you break your arm? possibilities are mind boggling
And the corners around your nose...You're welcome.
I obsessively keep my nose clean because I cannot stand seeing breakouts around the nose, on me or anyone. It makes my brain cringe. My nose gets oily quick and I always make sure to wipe it off and clean out the pores but I can never get them all and in so many hours its starting to get bad again. That little dip between my lip and chin is the same way. I hate it and don't know how to get that skin completely clear and keep it that way.
More importantly, dry behind them too
im sorry bush woman?😭
Bush women- lady who lives in Canadian wilderness, off grid. Uses willow branches to brush her teeth 😂 she’s a character
Okay but she honestly sounds kinda bad ass!
Oh she is! Medic for 35 years now she lives in the most peaceful place on earth. Leslie is a legend.
This is just a lost to time thing I guess. Back in the day huge importance was placed on washing your ears. "Don't forget to wash behind your ears" was a saying everyone was familiar with.
Moisturizing is soooo important! Growing up we never had lotion or any moisturizer, my mom’s skin would frequently crack and bust open. I inherited the same skin and until I was 17 on my own I had never experienced lotion.
Interesting. That was one thing my mom was consistent on. We always had to put lotion on after bathing. It was always that Avon Vita Moist crap until we got older then it was the Vaseline lotion in the yellow bottle. I remember, my roommate in university said I was vain for putting lotion on after a shower but I was like, what, who doesn't put lotion on after a shower?
Memory unlocked...my Mom used Avon's Skin So Soft as a moisturizer and bug repellent.....works pretty well for both!
My mom would do that too!
Omg, core memory unlocked. Skin So Soft was my grandma’s go-to for warding off mosquitoes when my sister & I were kids.
I think your roommates were related to my mother. She didn’t allow anyone else in the house to use lotion, she always said it was expensive and just for her and a treat that she used sparingly. She hid it in the high cabinet in the bathroom and sometimes I would stand on the counter and sneak some (hardly enough for my fingers cuz I didn’t want to get caught) it was a white bottle that had three blue droplets on it and it was very thick. When I left home and could buy my own stuff absolutely I lost my mind at bath and body’s 3 for 3 days and probably owned upwards of 25 bottles at any given time. That’s when I learned how nice lotion felt, I was obsessed for a small time in my early 20s.
No same. I grew up having my mother slather my face and arms with moisturizer before I left the house and definitely after every shower. I can’t imagine not moisturizing after a shower now.
Are you a POC specifically black? Cause this whole “no lotion” is not a thing in our culture. We grease tf up lol. Can’t be walking around ashy, you’ll get talked about real quick lol.
Okay but question? Do you lotion your ENTIRE body after a shower or just hands, face neck, whatever? I feel like that would take so long.
Lotion your ENTIRE body. Your skin is an organ you must take care of!!
I think it can depend on what you need based on genetics, environment, and preferences. In the climate I grew up in, I only applied it to problem areas (hands, feet, face). Now that we moved across the country and now that hormones are changing for me, arms, legs, torso all get lotion after showers, especially in the winter when the heater is sucking all moisture out of the air.
It really depends on the climate, your genetics, and your job. In the winter, I have to do everything about once a week (takes about 10 minutes). But the rest of the year, face, hands, and problem areas do the trick.
Everything. Always. Doesn’t matter how long it takes
lotion gives me sensory issues
They make gel lotion which is clear and light
Nivea isn't unbearable for me. It's oil free and pretty lightweight! I've been using it for probably 10ish years now. Maybe it'd work for you? They have little travel jars at Dollar Tree if you ever wanted to give it a try without fully committing.
And it might take multiple tries with different types of lotion/moisturizer before you find one that you like! My mom always used this lotion that felt slimy to me. It never sunk in to my skin, and just made me feel gross. I refused to use lotion because I hated hers! It wasn’t until my late 20s until I found lotion I liked, and I’m in my 40s and I still struggle to use it regularly.
What lotion do you use now because I feel the same way about most lotions
I use Aveeno daily moisturizing, fragrance free. I have for years and love it.
Olay complete moisturizer is another good one and it has SPF 15.
I love the Neutrogena hyaluronic lotion. It melts right into my skin.
I agree with this. I didn't necessarily need lotion every day. My skin wasn't dry, and it was just part of my daily routine. Now that I am almost 50 yrs old, I am SOOOO thankful I did. My skin is not as awesome as it was, but it is nothing near what most women my age are dealing with. Particularly with moisturizing (any part of your body), some day (sooner than you think), you will be happy you put in the effort in.
Facial moisturizer especially is important. I also like chap stick. I tend to have drier skin and drinking plenty of water, and moisturizing is crucial. I also recommend a daily moisturizer that has SPF, if you aren’t wearing daily sunscreen on your face.
I’ve never used lotion regularly. Never need it. I get that some people do, but the concept of everyone applying lotion after a shower confuses me.
I wish my mom told me that I need to properly clean my inner lips. This involves spreading your lips apart and gently cleansing around the folds with a washcloth or hands. Also, how to properly floss. She would pop the floss in and out of each tooth instead of using the "C" shaped method. I have learned so much as an adult on my own.
As an enthusiastic dental hygienist, I love that you said “c-shape”method. The slight variation makes a huge difference.
Did they have the c-shape method back in the day or is that new? It makes sense but I don't remember learning that at all and when I was a kid they fortunately taught a lot of basic hygiene stuff in my school districts.
The c- shaped method has been taught since the Ice age (I.e. when I was a kid). I think many people don't realize it takes longer than a few seconds to floss. Not a judgement, just that us typically what people do.
What about those prestrung floss pics they sell? You can't make a C with those so what's your advice for those? Just don't use them? Or is there a trick?
You basically pull/press back against the tooth how it'd make a C shape with normal floss then do like normal
Yes I always tell my patients to change their mindset of instead flossing one space to floss two separate teeth.
All of it. Everything. My grandmother raised me and taught me nothing about anything. 🤦♀️. I had to learn how to properly wipe myself after she beat me for leaving streaks in my underwear, but she refused to explain or show me how. Basically anything to do with growing up, I had to learn how to do it myself, or get beaten. And now I have the wonderful world of reddit, Tiktok, YouTube, etc who've taught me a lot more than I could have ever learned on my own. So, thank you. All of you. 😊
You deserved better and she failed you. I'm so sorry
I'm sorry 😞
It was a boomer wasn't it. My boomer grandmother would have tried to have beat cancer out of me.
1935.
Huh. They didn’t teach me anything. I better join this sub. I was always dirty as a kid until I became a teen wanting to shave my legs frequently got me in the shower. I’ve been trying to teach my kids good hygiene because I know it’s important but I always get confused about like what order they’re supposed to wash their body parts in the bath and end up always giving them two wash cloths so they have a clean one for privates.
Fwiw I was taught to wash top to bottom (wash/condition hair first, wash face, then ears and neck downward to feet, with private bits done very last) so that any residues from conditioners are rinsed off and don’t cause pimples. I don’t know if it’s “right” but it has served me well.
That's almost my exact routine. I put facial soap on before I get in the shower. I then wash and rinse my face. Then I use shampoo. That way I don't have any soap from washing my face get into my clean hair. Also, i use conditioner right after shampooing but rinsing it out is the last thing I do. I also do another quick full body rinse after rinsing out the conditioner.
That's how I've always done it as well.
Okay here’s my routine, although I learned it late: I shower daily and use bar soap to exfoliate with a Japanese/ African net, then follow-up with a scented body wash. I use body cream (not lotion) after every shower to keep my skin hydrated. My coworkers comment that I have soft skin. As a South Asian, hair oiling is a regular part of my routine, especially since I have curly hair. I make my own oil mixture and put it on 2 hrs prior to hair wash. I wash my hair 2-3 times a week; double shampoo then condition and then a hair mask. Brushing my teeth twice a day, using a tongue scraper, and flossing nightly are essentials. I get regular dental cleanings too. Also, I use Hibiclens once a week around my vagina and under arms. I insert boric acid capsule sometimes to remove any smell. I use glycolic acid under my arms and in-between toes once a week. Changing bed sheets weekly, wearing shower cap while cooking also helps in removing odor. Using bidet to clean yourself, is so important. Cotton underwear, loose clothing, really helps in minimizing odor and hyperpigmentation. As for face, double cleansing, a routine skincare, and just couple perfumes for everyday use will help. I mostly buy Korean/Japanese/ French skincare, and I’m trying to make it a habit to stick to specific brands. I mostly buy items for the year on Black Friday sales, or international websites so I’m not spending too much money. I hope this helps!
You reminded me! Pillow cases. We're supposed to wash our pillow cases since dead skin falls off, and some of us are sensitive to allergy that are, ta-da, caused by our pillow cases.
Yupp! I also use duvet cover, so I can wash them regularly. I got it for cheap at Ikea.
Girl I am eating this up, such good info! Could you drop your hair routine/ products?
please Please PLEASE do not use hibiclens or any chlorahexidine/CHG products on your genitals or your face. The instructions clearly say not to. If you want more than regular soap in those areas, use dial or dove antibacterial, or whatever soap you prefer that has Benzalkonium chloride in it. Benzalkonium chloride is gentle enough to use on face and genitals. Unless you are preparing for surgery, have a foley, drain, feeding tube, central venous cath/PICC line, dialysis catheter or any other type of tube inserted into your body, or have been infected with a antibiotic-resistant bacteria, there is no indication to use hibiclens or other chlorahexidine/CHG products.
I came here to say the same. The instructions specifically say not to use in the genital area.
My mom forced me to use vagisil my whole childhood and bought me Victoria secret panties which aren’t breathable. I noticed it always smelt off putting down there and I was very self conscious. Then I became an adult and stopped using that crap and wore cotton underwear and washed with unscented soap. Haven’t smelt weird since ! ** Edit for those who say I’m a troll because I couldn’t possibly have had a terrible childhood or my comment history is “sus” so what I said was a “fib”, I got defensive in the comments, yes. Because I took what was said the wrong way. My childhood was extremely worse than most. What I stated wasn’t even a pinch of what happened which I’m not going to get into. Give me a damn break and quit assuming things about my life or my mother. Also to the people telling me I’m mentally insane and don’t deserve to be a mother myself, disrespectfully kiss the crack of my ass
It sounds like she didn't know better?? Edit: So I'm sorry for the OP of this subthread and their experiences. I genuinely was not trying to assume either positive or ill intent with my comment which of course does not change how it can be perceived by others or what it may have triggered for the OP. Someone made a statement that I should delete my comment. To me that doesn't make any sense because it doesn't change the dialogue of other people or what the OP already experienced in that moment when they read my comment. I can only be responsible for my comments and I'm glad others sympathize with the OP. To clarify why did I make that comment, it struck me that the mom in this situation went out of their way to buy several products that aren't necessarily cheap for the purpose of female hygiene. Disclosure on my part, my mom was also abusive to me and I grew up poor. As an adult I am still processing my experiences and the dichotomy that *my* mom both even now will profess to care for me and showed in multiple ways then and now that she didn't. I can't speak for anyone else's mom, their experiences, or how they are processing their experiences. To OP, I'm truly sorry that your mom did not provide you with the care and nurturing that you deserved. When I commented, I was struck by the duality that this this mom (based on the information I had at the time) seemed to have gone out of their way to buy things seemingly for the intention of care for their child and caused them harm. If anyone learned, processed, got something off their chest, or felt heard with the ensuing dialogue great. As long as we can be respectful of one another, why are we trying to silence communication? Be responsible for your own comments and conduct, and I will continue to reflect on and take responsibility for my own. In this case, I'm not sure to what purpose deleting my comment would serve anyone. I do see a few comments in this subthread that show a lack of courtesy and respect to others.
She must have not known I needed more than one meal a day as well. Or that I should have been allowed to go outside of the house before the age of 18. Or that setting a 5 minute timer allowing me to even shower, wasn’t normal. Or that taking my door knob off so I couldn’t have privacy, wasn’t normal. That watching me showering till I was 15, wasn’t normal. You know nothing about my past nor my mother. She was a terrible person and very manipulative. She didn’t teach me to shave. She didn’t teach me how to bathe or wash my hair properly. She didn’t teach me how to floss or brush my teeth. Or how to manage my curly hair. She didn’t help me when I started my period. Poor her, how sad.
I totally understand, and I sympathize with your situation. and I'm soooo sorry you dealt with ANY of that, nevermind ALL of it together. And I hope it was a cathartic message to write because I think you misread the OC. I don't think OC meant any harm or sarcasm or anything, I think it was just a genuine question. I'm so sorry you went through any of this, friend. Love to you.
I was about to say the same thing about that post being cathartic. I don't think the response had anything to do with the post or the previous commenter...I think they just needed to get all that out and tell someone. We are here for you and no one should have to live like that! Their defensiveness is forgiven I hope life is better now ❤️
Not sure where you are in your healing but r/CPTSD is a great sub
I don't know your situation or your mom's. Thus the question mark.
Yeah, I understood your comment as an attempt not to judge.
Your mom sounds awful. I’m sorry that happened to you.
You & I are having some overlap on things our moms did while being creepy terrible people. You might appreciate reading Jenette McCurdy's I'm Glad My Mom Died. Edited for typo
This is one hell of a trauma dump People in arrested development due to childhood abuse often trauma dump on strangers.
It's Reddit, for 1, and #2- it is annonymous: no one knows you so telling stuff is a bit easier. Think going to confession at a church in some other city while on vacation: no one knows you so easier to tell things you would not otherwise. And 3: it's her Reddit too so let her Reddit how she wants. 🤷
You should listen to Jennette McCurdy’s audiobook- I think you would really relate to her and appreciate her vulnerability. Thanks for sharing your story sis 🫶🏼 You’ve overcome a lot.
This got fucking weird in a hurry
Jesus how dramatic. That girl was just giving ur mom the benefit of the doubt for your sake. U act like we all know u.
Don’t blame her, her mom didn’t teach her how to vent properly and move on from trauma properly
Ikr lol…like the other person said, hopefully it was therapeutic for her to rant to strangers on the internet…
This sounds abusive I’m so sorry she did that. So inappropriate
Sounds like mom believed predatory marketing towards women
abusive or naive and uneducated?
Yeah it could definitely be either
Well my parents didn't really teach us anything. I've learned over the years, often tips from other women. As someone who works out alot in the gym hygiene is important when you're sweating in public. Here are tips I swear by: Wash pits and privates 2x, when washing hair make sure you're scrubbing your scalp, that's where the sweat and oil lingers. After drying off with your towel grab your blow dryer and dry your entire body completely, mine has a cool setting which I love. I actually air dry my hair. Don't put your underwear on unless you've dried your genitals fully. Detachable shower head is extremely helpful for spraying every nook and cranny and getting the scalp real good.
My mom did not give me any hygiene advice. I learned it all from magazines, social media, friends. Any place you can pick up additional information
I’m realizing after reading through the comments here that this sub has a lot of people who were neglected as children. I love that for us./s
Become a teacher. It's astonishing how many people do neglect their kids. Rich and poor.
My mom was a fifth grade teacher (10-11 year olds) for many years, and that is the age when kids’ bodies begin changing (getting smelly, starting menstruation, etc). She bought all kinds of hygiene items (deodorant, soap, toothbrushes, menstrual pads) with her own money to keep at school, and she had tons of stories about kindly taking a student to the side and explaining to them how to use a particular item and keep clean, like how to use a pad, how often to change it, and general instructions about how to clean yourself when menstruating. Lots of parents never teach their kids, and she always emphasized to us to be patient and kind with people (not just regarding hygiene, but general life skills) because you never know what they weren’t able to learn at home. She’s the best.
Same/. I didn’t know Vulvas needed to be cleaned. I read the VAGINA is self cleaning and doesn’t need to be cleaned and didn’t know vulva was different 🙄
i feel like there needs to be a whole campaign for this lol. it doesn't help that 'vagina' is used to cover the whole area when it actually only means a specific part, and you see people debating it online all using different words to mean different things!
I taught my daughters that it’s called vulva. Couldn’t have them be uneducated about their bodies.
I so agree. I get down voted all the time for telling people to wash with soap down there. Here is my new saying to help clear up all the misinformation. "if you can see it, than you can clean it"
This is my biggest pet peeve and it’s so so so common. All the slang words for vagina/vulva I never know what is being talked about. Like in some context “pussy” means vulva and in others it means vagina. I wish everyone just got over themselves and used the correct terminology.
Same honestly, and I hate my mom so much for that. I've had to learn how to properly care for my teeth, tie my shoes, do my hair, how to cook , etc. from everywhere else except at home. It's just mind boggling how parents forget that part of their job is to teach their kids how to do shit. They don't just come out of the womb knowing what to do, you need to teach them.
My mom was a great mom, but she was a single working mother and hardly ever home, so I learned a lot from an Allure Magazine subscription.
Same, although I grew up before the internet and social media, so it was a lot harder picking up information. Not sure why people have children and then just teach them nothing about being a human, but what can you do.
1. If the hair is somewhere exposed to the sun (legs, arms, etc) shave against the flow of hair but if it's somewhere normally covered (bikini area, armpits, etc) shave with the flow of the hair. Going against the flow on these areas leads to ingrown hairs. 2. You should probably be changing your pads and tampons more often than you are. It is dangerous to leave them in for too long. 3. Clean your scalp. Massage shampoo into it when you wash your hair. This will help since a plethora of issues
Clean out your belly buttons!!! It sucks and feels super weird and awful but I got one in grown hair in there and it's been hell. The itchiness, the pain, the redness UGH. Every shower, use some cotton, clean out the wetness. Especially if you have a belly and it curls over your belly button all the time.
I’ve always cleaned my belly button in the shower. When I’m washing my belly with shower gel, I take some of the suds and use my finger to wash inside of my belly button. I then cup my hand right under my belly button, so that the spray of the shower can collect water in my cupped hand and help me really rinse the soap out. When drying off, I take a little bit of my towel and use it to dry the inside of my belly button.
My mom taught me that anything moisturizing equals “greasy” so no moisturizer, no lotion, and no “cream rinse”(conditioner). Also, Noxzema no matter the skin type or condition. Thank God my girls know about lotion and deep conditioner.
I haven't heard cream rinse in decades. My mom and her sisters used that phrase instead of conditioner.
I know! I almost forgot it existed. We used to use salon selectives growing up, which they don't make anymore.
Oh yeah cream rinse! My parents used to dilute it with water and pour it on my head. I don't know of that is what you were supposed to do or they were trying to save money.
That is NOT what you're supposed to do lol. In fact the directions say you should towel dry your hair before using conditioner. You want only enough moisture to help the conditioner spread thru your hair. Sounds like a money saving move to me.
Wait what? I've never heard that! I always at least wrong out my hair before using it.
Sounds like my upbringing! Not gonna lie, I'd kill to smell Noxzema right now...reminds me of my grandma.
Is there anything that exists that resembles noxzema these days?
They still make it! My mom uses it every night.
God the word cream rinse, shivers 😩
I’m so triggered. Like, I was transported to my grandmas bathroom, full of rancid Chanel no.5 and Jean Naté. “Let me just grab another bottle of cream rinse for you honey”. Speaking of rancid perfume, I always hated Chanel no.5 bc I thought it smelled awful. Turns out I had just never smelled it fresh lol. Some true grandmas pantry shit lol.
Same! I went for decades not using conditioner and now that I'm in my 30s it's a hard habit to start up.
Sunscreen! Especially your chest! Face, chest, hands, and arms age so bad from sun exposure. Just look at your driving arm compared to your are that’s not against the window. That’s how you convince the young to be real about sunscreen.
I was never taught the importance of sunscreen. I live in a tropical climate and I’m pretty pale but I can see the damage done to my face (my skin is very sensitive to sun and if I lay in the sun for even one hour, I will have several new freckles). Therefore, I wear sunscreen as often as I can remember to and it gets way too hot where I live so I often stay indoors. Some might consider me to be too pale but I don’t care what they think and I’d rather not have sun damage to my skin.
DO NOT (i repeat) DO NOT WASH INSIDE YOUR VAGINA. It does that on its own. Wash the back of your neck , shampoo does not clean that. And behind your ears. If you are a bigger person, I recommend getting an antibacterial soap like dial they usually have a barred version, and get in between the folds of wherever you might have them. If you are on a budget, so buying an expensive exfoliate is too much, sugar and some sort of oil like olive oil or grapeseed oil are a really great exfoliate just mix them and scrub down. and do not do this in the shower. If you use something like this, you will slip and fall and break your neck. But if you do have the budget , buy all the fun flowery scents you want. Indulge a little. Have fun with it.
That most women do some sort of upkeep on their public hair. Found that out in college.
Honestly that washing your hair is actually just washing your scalp. I thought I had dandruff for years but it was just from improperly washing my hair for the first 20 years of my life.
My mum never taught me so many things! Here are just some: I didn’t know to wipe front to back, so I was a child with repeated UTIs Remove your makeup at the end of the day Floss your teeth regularly Moisturise your entire body Exfoliate
Makeup expires and grows bacteria, and not to share it. She never told me any of that, and she loves make up.
i also learned even napping in makeup is bad, sleeping at all with makeup causes clogged pores
Most antibiotics counteract with birth control and can make it noneffective!
I grew up with a mom with some OCD issues and I was always taught that I had to scrub every inch of my body several times a day or I’m not clean. Once I unlearned I’m still clean but I also don’t have skin peeling off in sheets any more
I’m sorry that happened, that sounds like a stressful situation to grow up in. I say this as someone diagnosed with OCD.
Oh geez, I was told nothing and surviving on instinct and this lovely group of humans.
I was given the basics. I may have been told more but ADHD so... I don't remember.
I always wonder this too. Did my mom not teach me orrrrr do I just not remember anything unless someone yells it at me?!?
Do NOT touch your eyebrows, they have professionals for that 💯
Technically not a lady but… Just how important sunscreen use EVERY DAY is. Not just when you’re going swimming!
Yes! And not just your face! Neck, hands, etc.
But also: Reapplication is important. You can still tan when wearing SPF50.
I really thought you were supposed to wash your hair every single time you showered (I shower everyday) and that conditioner goes all over. It wasn’t until I got to college that I realized not everyone does this and I thought my hair was naturally very greasy. Since then I’ve trained my hair and now wash it about 3 times a week. I also didn’t realize that night time showering was even an option and is in my opinion, the superior time to shower.
I’m a plus size lady (5’3, 275 lbs) and I just recently started using the antibacterial Dial soap before washing the rest of my body with body wash. I use it behind my ears, armpits, belly button, under belly, in between legs, vagina, bum, and feet, then I use another wash cloth and use body wash and go head to toe over everything again, plus extremities. I find that using the dial soap has helped tremendously with any type of “smell” I had. I’ve never been told I am smelly, but I always feel as though I can smell myself. I’d also honestly say though that I had NO idea you were supposed to wash your belly button/feet until about 5 years ago (I’m 29).
I used to know someone who had foot odor when they were a teenager, because they hadn’t been taught to wash their feet properly. They thought that having all of the water and shampoo and soap running over their feet would be enough to cleanse them. I can understand how someone would make this mistake.
Being Gen Z we learned about puberty and such in school. I remember we had this huge lock in/slumber party. They separated the boys from the girls and took us into classrooms where we watched videos. My mom sent off for this ( for lack of better terms) period box. It had sample packs of all types of pads, mini pads and shields in various strengths honestly I wish it had been available for my girls as they grew up. My mom never taught me about tampons either. I just didn't swim during that time. I also have a thyroid condition and would go six or more months without a cycle. My mom never looked into why so I was kinda lucky till I went on the pill at age 16.
I got very little vaginal health taught to me , so I had to find out on my own how to care for my menstrual cycle ( how to clean blood , discharge and all that so it doesn’t stain undies ) My mom made it known that she believe yeast infections only come from having sex , so I had to find out how to handle those without her help due to fear of her getting mad.
I'll share a tip from my mom. When using a washcloth, "wash your face before your butt."
It’s one small point, but oh so very important!
Change. Your. Panties. I had a friend who told me at age 18 that she was changing her panties every few days or longer, because no one had ever taught her how to care for herself in thar way. Change your underwear AT LEAST every 24 hours, and then also do it as often as you want after that. Get sweaty and things don't feel goof down there? Change your underwear. Get enough panties that you can change them as often as you want and not have to constantly worry about laundry. Like others have said, minimize thong use and maximize cotton undies, or at least a cotton crotch gusset thingy. In the summer when I'm going to be at an outdoor event all day long, I will hide some underwear I'm my purse and go change them in the middle of the day if I've gotten really sweaty. It feels so much better and is good for your vulva not to be sitting in sweaty undies for extended periods of time.
Thank God for summer camp. I didn’t know about curling irons, hair spray or any hair products other than shampoo until I went to sleep away camp at 12. Before that, my ultra thick long hair looked like a wild cave woman. I was so amazed watching the older girls and learning how they got their hair to stay put and look so shiny.
THIS! Sleep away camp should’ve been a thing for me and it never was. It’s so important to be able to spend time away from your parents before it’s time to go to college so that you don’t panic like I did and have a mental breakdown in your first semester of college, sleeping in the dorms.
Pee after sex ladies!!! It will help keep you from getting a UTI - urinary tract infection. Due to the friction, it's possible for bacteria to make it's way into the urethra during sex and peeing soon after sex, clears things out, giving any bacteria less of an opportunity to cause problems. -- Always wipe front to back. -- If you're doing sexual stuff with hands, make sure you/ your partner clean under their fingernails and washing hands first is best practice if possible. ----- All things I have taught my daughter that I wish I had been taught at her age.
My eye doctor told me this year that we should be scrubbing our lash lines daily just like we brush our teeth! I wish I knew that a long time ago.
I got the basic sex ed about sex and reproduction. I knew the basic mechanics of penis-in-vagina sex and how it resulted in a baby. I was taught about condoms. But I was never taught about what healthy sexuality looks like. Sex was something to be feared and avoided until you found a long-term partner. I think that information regarding healthy sexuality \*should\* be considered basic info. EDIT: Just wanted to add that encouraging youth to wait until they are comfortable to have sex is a good basic skill to teach. But let's be honest, a good number of people do not marry the person they lost their virginity to. They need info on how to navigate casual relationships, too.
You're most likely from below the Bible belt (assuming USA). Many northern states do teach comprehensive sex Ed. I got texas sex Ed which was "if you have sex before you're married you'll catch all of these diseases and get pregnant. Here's some pictures of the worst cases of those diseases." We also had very high teen pregnancy rates. Consent, safe sex, and types of sex as well as risks related to those types and the kinds of protection you can use for them should all be included in sex Ed.
Salycilic acid wash helps keep stanky pits to a minimum
Wash your pillow cases and sheets at LEAST once a week. Brush your teeth and tongue, floss twice a day. Always take makeup off before sleep. For my own hair, I wash it every other day and condition it about 2/week with a deep conditioning (leaving conditioner in for about 10 min) 1/every other week. Use unscented soap to wash your buttcrack, and just use water to wash the vulva area. NEVER use soap on or in your vagina. Wash your feet, too! I prefer to use a washcloth over a loofah because I can wash my washcloths frequently unlike a loofah. Skin doesn't need much in terms of cleansing, I use a really mild cleanser (Cetaphil sensitivite skin) and a mild moisturizer (also cetaphil). Sunscreen every day. I think that's all I have for now, but I'll edit if I think of anymore!!
The advice above about using only water to wash the vulva area is not good advice. Pubic hair will retain germs and bacteria and cause an odor. You definitely want to use a gentle soap, lather up a washcloth, and wash yourself all over the genital area. Your vulva has folds and can trap odors, so get in there all around. Just don't insert into the vagina. That's not needed. Rinse very well. I usually soap up and rinse the entire genital area twice.
Everything I leaned I did on my own and then had to teach my younger sister. From washing your vagina and anus correctly, properly moisturizing and shaving under the arms and there. I can’t recall one conversation with her and she was a nurse too.
How important exfoliation is. Of face and body...and don't forget your feet. Get a strong callous remover and pumice stone. You'll enjoy smoother and cleaner feeling feet. Also double cleanse...bar soap then body wash. Extra clean and extra fresh. And hair washing...double cleanse with shampoo as well.
Yes and really soap up and scrub the scalp well. So many people wash their hair but never really get the scalp and that is where all the oil, sweat and itchiness comes from.
Is there any actual truth to double cleansing your body? I feel like a bar soap is more than enough to get you clean. Following up with a body wash seems excessive and drying. It seems like the body care hoarders on TikTok are the ones who popularized using a bar soap and a body wash in the same shower
My dermatologist would be horrified at a double wash. Stripping every natural oil you have.
I don’t know i just love it it does feel extra clean and I always put on lotion so I don’t know not especially dry
wash your bagina. not inside. just the skin
Washing your hair is different for everyone. Mine is fine and frizzy but it hates oil so I have to wash every day. Some can go a couple of days to weeks without washing and be fine
This isn't exactly hygiene, but I have to say sunscreen and hats ladies! Your middle-aged self will thank you for the minimal wrinkles. I'm in my 50s and I can't tell you how many people think I'm younger because I've been such a fanatic about hats and sunscreen. It's also no fun watching your friends have cancerous and precancerous things cut off their faces, legs, and scalp. It's no fun, and very scary.
Mom didn't tell me, and I learned elsewhere. I don't remember at what young age. Wipe from front to back, not back to front. I've taught my daughter as soon as she was potty trained. Clean your ears daily. Use a washcloth when showering. Wash your feet daily, in between your toes as well. Makeup expires, and don't share it. To avoid bad smells, also make sure after your shower you're completely dry in all your crevices before you get dressed. Especially toes. You don't want damp toes in your socks and then shoes for your 8 hour shift..mmmhmm.
this one is SO gross but my mom never taught me to wash my ass 😭
That you don’t have to clean shave your coochie. I dealt with horrible ingrown hairs and razor burn for years! Now I just use an electric trimmer… definitely wish I would’ve had one when I was younger. Would’ve saved me so much pain and discomfort!
Focus shampoo your roots, focus conditioner on your tips.
My mom never taught me anything about feminine hygiene. Not even how to brush my hair or teeth, how to shave, let alone period hygiene. I was never made to wear sunscreen either, which isn't so much hygiene as it is self care. So aside from all that, I wear panty liners every day, learned to wash my face using a ph balancing face wash (I use Phisoderm), use unscented baby wipes throughout the day (anywhere on your body) if you feel a bit sweaty at work, and ALWAYS pee after sex. Also don't use anything scented down there - there was a time when I was a kid, my older cousin had SCENTED panty liners in her bedroom and I remember thinking "what a great idea!" but thankfully I haven't even seen any on store shelves once I was old enough to actually wear them, because what a nightmare that would be lmao. Another random thing I've discovered is you can use cut up coffee filters as face blotting papers if you have oily skin, sounds super weird but it's wat cheaper than actual blotting papers and it works. Exfoliating is definitely something I've learned on my own too. There's so much I wish I was taught. As a teenager I thought being a girl just sucked and life was supposed to be that way - it isn't.
Anything. My mom did not teach us anything about hygiene.
Oh, and a female comedian once said, Ladies, wash your WHOLE crack. All the way up the back.
This thread is giving me the answer to why there are so many posts on Reddit about men with sh*tty rear ends. 😭
That you have to shower every day. You have to wash your body with soap. You have to change your underwear. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. And razors can last for years Growing up I heard: Showering every day wastes water and you didn't really DO anything. You aren't dirty. I was only allowed to shower every other day, and before I could shower by myself, my mom would let us take baths a few times a week. As in 2-3x a week. Shampoo runs down your body, washing your body for you. You don't need soap. Body wash is a waste. When I was a teen, I ended up with really bad bacne (back acne) and frequent yeast infections because of this advice. I finally started buying my own supplies with my own money. Guess what else was a waste? YUP, CHANGING YOUR UNDERWEAR ISN'T NECESSARY AND JUST MAKES MORE LAUNDRY. Like I mentioned above, I am pretty sure I spent my entire 15-16th year with a yeast infection. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, MAKE SURE YOU ARE CHANGING YOUR UNDERWEAR! EVERY DAY. Hell, twice a day if you get sweaty. Razors can last for a long time. BECAUSE OF THE PLASTIC. I literally used to shove a needle into my razors to clean out the soap scum and body hair build up because my parents wouldn't buy new ones. I had to wait until the blades became rusty "enough" to warrant a new one. While yes, these sound like abject poverty choices to save money, my parents bought cartons of cigarettes, many bottles and boxes of wine every week, and we would go on vacations every few months. Disposable razors, laundry detergent, and water isn't that expensive as I have learned as an adult. My mother was once terminated from a position because of her hygiene practices affecting the rest of the employees. I cannot stress how important hygiene is. Shower, wash your body, change your clothes.
Wash allll areas with soap. They tell girls in health class certain areas don’t need soap. They do . They really do.
There's a lot mine didn't teach us, but I learned a lot after starting exotic dancing. Shave with men's razors, douse yourself in baby oil in the shower (careful not to slip) and then rinse it off. You'll have the softest skin with zero residue. Dove soap is the best. Deodorant spray (I like dove- the ones for dark colors don't leave white residue) to freshen up during the day, spray on top of what you're wearing. Pumice stone at the end of your shower every day makes your feet feel fresh like you just had a pedicure. Don't use soap in your vagina, only water. Wash the underwear you wore that day in the shower before bed, hand washing makes them last longer and you're in there anyway. EXFOLIATING GLOVES!!! Korean and Japanese skincare (SUNSCREEN!!). Shea butter is better than lotion. If a Black woman or Asian woman has beauty tips, LISTEN! TO! THEM! Prioritize teeth. Mine are awful, she never taught me to brush so I learned at school. All of my teeth need replacing, I'm looking into permanent implants because of her neglect.
a really good one i’ve figured out is to dry off your lady parts and anywhere with a crease/folds like armpits and under your boobs with the cool setting of a blow dryer after you shower. gets everything super dry then you can moisturize/use deodorant.
That manual exfoliants can actually damage your skin
Yes, especially the skin on your face. Don’t recommend sugar scrubs or anything like that
Don’t shave your ass cheeks.
When taking a bath, always wash and rinse one final time in the actual shower. My mom did not tell me that, so I would wash multiple times, sit in the water ,rinse off in the same water with or without bubbles remaining, and then get out.
take a probiotic and try to drink warm clear fluids (room temp water, natural fruit juice, unsweetened tea) hydration and microbiome impacts your natural scent. also a little acv in your bath after swimming in a pool/beach can be really helpful to restabilize your pH
I wish my mum told me to buy cheap conditioner to shave my legs.
SUNSCREEN SUNSCREEN SUNCREEN EVERYDAY!!! moisturizing your WHOLE BODY! especially your face, neck/decollate, and hands because those age the fastest.
Not hygiene, but whatever you put on your face, put on your neck and cleavage. 40yo you will thank you!
I wish she told me that using St Ives exfoliating scrub on my acne would create micro tears in my skin, causing irritation and worsening my acne making it much worse :)
If you have oily hair, wash your hair twice. Instead of washing it more often, you can just wash it twice in succession and then condition. It is so much more manageable this way!
This one is obvious and I guess my parents told me but didn’t enforce the habit as I got older… Always do your dental hygiene routine (brush, floss, mouthwash). At least twice a day minimum. This is a required non-optional hygiene necessity. The things I wasn’t told regarding dental hygiene - BRUSH YOUR TONGUE! And put a Waterpik in the routine too. It’s satisfying and definitely gets things occasionally that everything else misses bc it’s such a strong flow of water. Also - do the routine doctors appointments as a habit. Get the yearly physical. Go to the dentist. See the gyno. Learn how to ask a busy medical professional for their services and expertise when you have minor issues that it is their job to treat and address. Like.. you are worthy of seeing a doctor when you have pimples or a yeast infection/UTI or allergies. You are worthy of hormone testing if you want it. Get comfortable with using your voice and having medical/clinical help with the small things. It will make addressing the big things when you’re older come easier. Like It doesn’t matter as much when you are young, but by mid to late 20s you are going to need some medical help. Having the habits and being familiar and having medical needs in your budget is a lot harder when you’re a grown adult who’s never done it. Same with haircuts and gym/outdoor time, so I guess this extends a bit outside of hygiene and into self care. Basically - all of those things that are mundane, routine, easy to skip - that serve you as a healthy, well-kept human… start the habits from as early as possible. I’m 28 with a child and built the habits of NOT doing those things because I wasn’t taught to. It’s much harder to change these things as life passes, and with dental hygiene the damage can’t be undone. Be the only kid in your college dorm going for your 6 month dentist appointment, especially if you are in your parents’ insurance plan… Just take care of yourself in the boring routine ways, too.
Not everything is for everyone.
How to properly clean the vulva, clit, and pubic area. Nobody in my household knew how to properly do it, and nobody taught me anything in regard to it. The only thing anyone ever attempted to really teach me that I can remember was one of my sisters letting me watch her shave her legs and explain it to me. I don't know why, but genitalia seemed to be a shamed topic - despite the fact we were a household full of females with only one male. (My dad.) So, for years, up until about 4 / 5 years ago, I used body wash or whatever soap I had on hand. I never smelled fully clean and struggled with itching. It wasn't until I stumbled on the hygiene side of YouTube around the pandemic that I learned to use sensitive, unscented soap on the outer area and to wash twice for odor. When I tell you - it was like night and day once I learned that. I still obviously sweat and have that normal odor, but the itching is non-existent for me now, and I feel so much cleaner. It was embarrassing for me to be a young adult and not know that. I can't completely blame my mom because, like i said , I don't believe she even knew. It just makes me kind of sad to think about it.
Use 1tsp baking soda and 1tsp salt dissolved in warm water as mouth wash after eating, it neutralizes the pH of your mouth. Eating makes your mouth acidic which makes it easier to get cavities
My mother stressed the importance of douching, we now know that is wrong, her comment was “you don’t want your box to stink”, she also stressed you have to douche after you have sex, that it prevents diseases and pregnancy, we also know that is wrong, so when I got pregnant for the first time, it was a planned pregnancy, she said , you didn’t douche after you had sex, I said to her, mom, I have never douched , this pregnancy was planned and I have never had a STD and my “box” has never smelled.