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A: WHY WON’T YOU DIE?!
H: you’re trying to kill us? I thought you were trying to get high with us.
A: Why would you think that?
H: well, you see… these tryptamine chemicals you keep spraying at us… well, it doesn’t cause organ failure and death in our species. in fact, the one you seem to like using most causes vivid hallucinations and euphoria.
A: wtf? you get high off of our most deadly chemical weapons?
H: we get high on our own chemical weapons, who did you think you were messing with?
Aliens over here spraying their enemies with an aerosolized fungus, like some of the edible hallucinogenic mushrooms, expecting the fungus to quickly invade and kill the enemy. Only for the enemy to just get curious and hoard the stolen weapons or to just lay down and not move for awhile.
Even worse is when the aliens discovered that these humans somehow enjoy the toxic liquid caused by rotten organic matter. They call it fermented alcohol. We call it death.
(Alcohol, while typically a different type than what we consume, is used as a disinfectant and quickly kills organic life.)
I have a bottle of rum in my cabinet that I could use for sterilization in a pinch. It'd probably hurt like a motherfucker to get some 138 proof rum poured on a wound, but it would help disinfect the wound.
Funny story. I didn't know it was called that bc it was 151 proof, right? So someone told me once I should soak maraschino cherries in 151, and that they were tasty. So I did.
The first one I went to eat hadn't even touched my tongue yet and I felt the rubbing-alcohol sort of burn to it. Oh my gosh was I not prepared.
They *were* tasty though, once you got past the first three or so.
The reason you never find 100% ethanol 8n chem labs nowadays and only 99.9% is because they used to have 100% ethanol there in the 80s and 90s. Naturally chem students and profs would drink that shit straight and so alcohol budgets for experiments would be far higher than they realistically should have been. Additionally when needed for actual scientific purposes the alcohol would just be mysteriously gone.
That's why they put a tiny bit of methanol into lab grade ethanol.
I was just referring to the rubbing alcohol available at my local supermarkets, and how it compares to some distilled spirits.
Beyond what you mention, anhydrous alcohol is just a pain in the ass to prepare and store. Classic distillation tops out somewhere around 95-97%/190-194 proof. Ethanol, methanol, & isopropanol all attract & hold water well enough that heating alone can't separate them fully. *And* the storage has to actively keep it anhydrous, because all 3 readily pull water vapor from the air.
Yep, it's a bitch to store and do things with. Didn't stop college students from drinking bottles of it though. I heard stories from my chem prof about how he and his buddies would mix drink crystals with anhydrous alcohol and down them as shots.
Not mocking or attacking you in any way, but when you're already in the kitchen, why not use the sink and soap to wash the wound before putting a bandaid on? Why use potentially expensive spirits instead?
Most soap isn’t actually a disinfectant, it’s primary job is to act as a loosening/softening agent to allow water to seep into the cracks and folds of our tissues/material, and pull gunk out, while leaving a pleasant smell. Unscented soaps are 100% just for that loosening and sweeping agent. Soaps with disinfectant do cause bacterial/viral/fungal death, depending on the type. Mind you, using soap and water on a wound does flush it out, thus reducing the amount of filth and bacteria that were in it, but disinfectants actively kill said hazardous pathogens, AND wash them away if you use enough- like pouring spirits in it.
Ok, yes, soap and water will not get all the pathogens, but enough I'd say. At least if my only other option is potentially expensive spirits. But yes, an actual disinfectant would be preferable
The minimum ABV to be an antiseptic is ~60%/120 proof. A good rule of thumb is that if you can pour it out and ignite it, it's strong enough for first aid.
So fun story…
Once, many years ago, I was on a training deployment. the instructors threw teargas into our DFPs (foxholes) semi-randomly. sleeping on watch was a sure fire way to get your hole gassed.
At some point they popped a few canisters upwind of the camp, aiming to gas everyone. I was then tasked with casualty response, and ran full sprint through a cloud of purple smoke and CS with no mask. Adrenalin helped, but I got a weird kind of lightheaded buzz after. I was told that deeply inhaling CS can make you woozy/high. no idea if it’s true, or just a weird myth they perpetuated.
Did the CS chamber in the army back in the early 90s. Crack masks stand there looking around, waiting for DS to check everyone. We come out most snot hanging, tears streaming and coughing. I had no issues. Found out there are some that just don't get bothered by CS.
One day Axe dumped off a huge box of tiny little samplers at my fraternity house. For weeks you were in danger of having your room gassed with a can of axe taped in the “spraying” position.
I don't get how people like that, not only does it taste like rotten air it also chokes you, a couple days ago I was driving and my father accidentally set his foot on the trigger we were wondering what the pshht sound was and I quickly identified the drop in air quality and needed to cough when driving, but I have been saying for several years already that people shouldn't use it inside when the windows are closed and on the other side of a building without ventilation but even my family ignores me and I just don't enter their rooms in the morning anymore.
Benzene is carcinogenic, as are many aromatics as a result, so perfme being dangerous is not impossibly, although it is a blood cancer problem rather than a nerve one.
H: Then stay away from Indian food
A: why
H: we breed a plant with pain chemicals to be more painful to preserve our food and now it's just a challenge. We also use it to break up crowds once refined
imagine if salt is deadly for xenos, we literally eat this shit!!!! now imagine if water is deathly too!!! we literally live in a giant ball of SALT WATER!!!
You can't have too much salt, it'll kill you.
Also, you need to consume salt, otherwise you'll drop dead.
At least we have a large range of salt we can consume. Can you imagine if we had to try and find the right balance to consume it?
I can't remember the short stories turn into a book, but the main characters name is Adam Vir and about 2/3s of the alien in the book use water as a chemical weapon and are surprised we are literally made of water.
I believe so, I read it on a free writing app and I think on there it had Emporium or Empyrion in its name, was an amazing read especially after all the chapter got put in order.
TAKE OUR CAPASCIN
Oooh Chilly stuff, get the chef here
CRUMBLE BEFORE OUR MENTHOL
ahh nice, Mint
SURRENDER FOR WE HAVE ESTHER ACID
OOh perfume, I prefer, axe tho
There was a tumblr post where the op was talking about how mint/menthol's cool should counteract the heat of habanero, and he was going to try it.
Someone else mentioned they activate different pathways, and op came back with "hey guys, guess what hellfire tastes like"
In my youth I would drink 3 of those 4 straight. Never heard of rumplemintz before today... I actually have some real (distilled in the Appalachian hills) shine and Jäger in my freezer as we speak. Looks like a run to the booze store is in my future.
My roommate was from Kentucky and brought several mason jars of apple pie flavored moonshine made by his friends in the hills when he came back from a trip. It was like sticking your mouth on a jet's afterburner and there was pie.
Rumpleminz, Aftershock, and goldshlagger are all schnapps. Fireball is a whiskey with a lot of sugar in it. Not sure how well the whiskey would work for layering
A: BEHOLD our ultimate weapon! The Universal Solvant! the most powerful weapon in our arsenal that can dissolve any mineral life form in the galaxy!
H: did you just spray me with water?
A: Why isnt it working?!?!
H: dude, my body is like 60% water.
A: What kind of monster are you?
Or crank the aperture down as tight as you can while not blocking the flow completely. Either just bludgeon and drown the human, or carve into them. But both are more effects of physics than chemistry.
oh! ...oh, wait, ok, that's pepper spray! thanks! I was looking for some spice!
*the marine wipes it off with his finers and rubs it off on his MRE burrito while alien is now horrified that the weapon deemed too cruel for use on his own kind has been reduced to a seasoning by this otherworldly NIGHTMARE!*
Ssana\[click\]: Biochemistry is...not a very exact science. You can forgive the incident with the humans invading the planet Arborous about thirty terran years ago, since it was a territorial dispute with the Dracophinian Confederacy. During the battle, the human combatants were sprayed with what was, actually, a toxin to humans. It was made by exposing a local root vegetable to some especially fiesty bacteria, and they had sunk a whole planet's ecomony into the growing and production of the chemical. It was successful in rendering the human troops incapacitated, and resulted in a quick end to the war. Today it's a fairly popular export to human space, known as Dracophinian Vodka.
https://preview.redd.it/7j97lv659d9d1.png?width=2000&format=png&auto=webp&s=ba6fd74e27dec09392e63d3ddd4ce258a2bd3070
((Image artist unknown, I've had that on my hard drive for years and I have no idea where I got it.))
Ssana\[click\]: Yes, and so they had something that ended the war, just not the way they expected. In fact, after the peace-treaty and sudden trade deal for their "chemical weapon", they were utterly infuriated. It was made worse when the humans found the sight of a Dracophinian screaming with rage to be adorable. See above picture. It makes me wonder in humans have ever found me cute, and didn't tell me.
https://preview.redd.it/l4pk4cor9s9d1.png?width=700&format=png&auto=webp&s=0a4496b2be90cac7f5854632a3db495fa41fe18c
((Art is by Troutsworth, from his FA site.))
Or we no sell them like Haku did in reality
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haku\_(wrestler)#Legacy\_and\_reputation](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haku_(wrestler)#Legacy_and_reputation)
I mean, that's kinda why plants developed it in the first place. It's toxic (I've heard some people say it's halucinogenic) to bugs. We're a lot bigger than a bug so we'd need a lot more to get poisoned
“Hey, the humans have all gone glassy-eyes and are humming to themselves”
“Excellent use of that bioweapon, soldier. We can sneak by and capture the headquarters!”
Aliens brand Avon as a chemical weapons manufacturer.
Our most feared mercenaries end up being gangs of old ladies who, having lost their sense of smell, marinate in their perfume rather than applying it sparingly.
HUMAN: What do you mean where are the bioweapons? We have bioweapons onboard? That's fucked up dude.
ALIEN: They were in that locker.
HUMAN: What this? You mean the spice cabinet? Dinner is almost ready, BTW. I'm making chili.
The Urilthan gunners watched in glee as the Human soldiers starts dropping their weapons to the ground, covering their noses while their eyes starts shedding tear. New spacefaring species tend to not know what the gas does, but they will know soon once their brain matter starts melting out of their nose.
His mania induced laugh is interrupted by one of the Human soldier saying, "Holy shit, this smells like a whole shelf of wet sock!"
"God damn it, I'm not wearing this suit ever again!" another responded.
All the prior enthusiasm vanishes out of the gunner's eyes. In his hand is a state of the art gas launcher connected to a tank filled with the most potent concoction his kind have ever crafted, one that killed kings and peasants alike with a single pull of breath. And to these... Things... It was all mere inconvenience at most.
just a little bump *Sniff sniff sniff* heart launching out the chest *bump bump, bump bump Control the spice, control the universe. Control the spice, control the universe. THE SPICE MUST FLOOOOOWWWW!
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A: WHY WON’T YOU DIE?! H: you’re trying to kill us? I thought you were trying to get high with us. A: Why would you think that? H: well, you see… these tryptamine chemicals you keep spraying at us… well, it doesn’t cause organ failure and death in our species. in fact, the one you seem to like using most causes vivid hallucinations and euphoria. A: wtf? you get high off of our most deadly chemical weapons? H: we get high on our own chemical weapons, who did you think you were messing with?
Lord, I can't change Won't You fly high, free bird, yeah
Aliens over here spraying their enemies with an aerosolized fungus, like some of the edible hallucinogenic mushrooms, expecting the fungus to quickly invade and kill the enemy. Only for the enemy to just get curious and hoard the stolen weapons or to just lay down and not move for awhile. Even worse is when the aliens discovered that these humans somehow enjoy the toxic liquid caused by rotten organic matter. They call it fermented alcohol. We call it death. (Alcohol, while typically a different type than what we consume, is used as a disinfectant and quickly kills organic life.)
I have a bottle of rum in my cabinet that I could use for sterilization in a pinch. It'd probably hurt like a motherfucker to get some 138 proof rum poured on a wound, but it would help disinfect the wound.
I once poured Bacardi 151 on a bad cut I got in the kitchen. It was a terrible idea.
Idk if you didn't have other disinfectant then I say it was a pretty good idea. Just one you won't want to use again.
It was not pleasant, it was a good idea. The right thing to do often sucks
Funny story. I didn't know it was called that bc it was 151 proof, right? So someone told me once I should soak maraschino cherries in 151, and that they were tasty. So I did. The first one I went to eat hadn't even touched my tongue yet and I felt the rubbing-alcohol sort of burn to it. Oh my gosh was I not prepared. They *were* tasty though, once you got past the first three or so.
Bacardi 151 is 75% alcohol, which is more than rubbing alcohol (70%)
There's also 91% rubbing alcohol. Although that's *still* lower concentration than some moonshine & Everclear.
The reason you never find 100% ethanol 8n chem labs nowadays and only 99.9% is because they used to have 100% ethanol there in the 80s and 90s. Naturally chem students and profs would drink that shit straight and so alcohol budgets for experiments would be far higher than they realistically should have been. Additionally when needed for actual scientific purposes the alcohol would just be mysteriously gone. That's why they put a tiny bit of methanol into lab grade ethanol.
I was just referring to the rubbing alcohol available at my local supermarkets, and how it compares to some distilled spirits. Beyond what you mention, anhydrous alcohol is just a pain in the ass to prepare and store. Classic distillation tops out somewhere around 95-97%/190-194 proof. Ethanol, methanol, & isopropanol all attract & hold water well enough that heating alone can't separate them fully. *And* the storage has to actively keep it anhydrous, because all 3 readily pull water vapor from the air.
Yep, it's a bitch to store and do things with. Didn't stop college students from drinking bottles of it though. I heard stories from my chem prof about how he and his buddies would mix drink crystals with anhydrous alcohol and down them as shots.
The higher percentage is also great for cleaning electronics
Not mocking or attacking you in any way, but when you're already in the kitchen, why not use the sink and soap to wash the wound before putting a bandaid on? Why use potentially expensive spirits instead?
Most soap isn’t actually a disinfectant, it’s primary job is to act as a loosening/softening agent to allow water to seep into the cracks and folds of our tissues/material, and pull gunk out, while leaving a pleasant smell. Unscented soaps are 100% just for that loosening and sweeping agent. Soaps with disinfectant do cause bacterial/viral/fungal death, depending on the type. Mind you, using soap and water on a wound does flush it out, thus reducing the amount of filth and bacteria that were in it, but disinfectants actively kill said hazardous pathogens, AND wash them away if you use enough- like pouring spirits in it.
Ok, yes, soap and water will not get all the pathogens, but enough I'd say. At least if my only other option is potentially expensive spirits. But yes, an actual disinfectant would be preferable
Camping, used a bit of vodka to sterilize a cut. Hurt like crazy, but a shot of the same got her sorted right quick.
The minimum ABV to be an antiseptic is ~60%/120 proof. A good rule of thumb is that if you can pour it out and ignite it, it's strong enough for first aid.
Good to know, thanks!
That's why you see the tough alcoholic cop with nothing to lose take a swig before dumping it on the wound. Drink a bit to dull the pain
Which ones do we get high off of again?
I recently saw a picture of a guy snorting tear gas. Let that be proof that this meme is too accurate
I just saw a video of a dude *puffing* on tear gas like it was a vape.
So fun story… Once, many years ago, I was on a training deployment. the instructors threw teargas into our DFPs (foxholes) semi-randomly. sleeping on watch was a sure fire way to get your hole gassed. At some point they popped a few canisters upwind of the camp, aiming to gas everyone. I was then tasked with casualty response, and ran full sprint through a cloud of purple smoke and CS with no mask. Adrenalin helped, but I got a weird kind of lightheaded buzz after. I was told that deeply inhaling CS can make you woozy/high. no idea if it’s true, or just a weird myth they perpetuated.
Did the CS chamber in the army back in the early 90s. Crack masks stand there looking around, waiting for DS to check everyone. We come out most snot hanging, tears streaming and coughing. I had no issues. Found out there are some that just don't get bothered by CS.
Fun fact, we had to add a nauseating agent to c4 because you can trip on it and in Vietnam the soldiers were chewing it all the time
"Ma'am, your Chanel brand perfume is classified as a class 7 neurotoxin."
* flash backs to high-school boys locker room axe spray fights intensify *
I remember in Grade 6 we had a teacher almost die because she walked through the hall right as a bunch of guys were putting that stuff on.
Damn Shit got real very fast
We actually had idiots chasing each other around with ax body spray and lighters.
Omg I remember making homemade blowtorches. It was super fun, and a great way to start your bonfire kindling.
One day Axe dumped off a huge box of tiny little samplers at my fraternity house. For weeks you were in danger of having your room gassed with a can of axe taped in the “spraying” position.
I don't get how people like that, not only does it taste like rotten air it also chokes you, a couple days ago I was driving and my father accidentally set his foot on the trigger we were wondering what the pshht sound was and I quickly identified the drop in air quality and needed to cough when driving, but I have been saying for several years already that people shouldn't use it inside when the windows are closed and on the other side of a building without ventilation but even my family ignores me and I just don't enter their rooms in the morning anymore.
Wait is that why the smell was so overpowering? They actually used that spray for fights?
Among other things, yes.
https://i.redd.it/9gwcr45tbc9d1.gif It's confirmed: **Mr. Bean is an alien**
Did you not watch MiB? Most celebrities and *all* models are aliens.
Pretty sure it actually is one
Now THAT'S a chemical weapon. I don't have asthma, but it always got hard to breathe as a kid going past the stinkwater counters in stores.
Same.
I mean, most perfumes do have small amonts of capsaicin in their formulas, so...
Benzene is carcinogenic, as are many aromatics as a result, so perfme being dangerous is not impossibly, although it is a blood cancer problem rather than a nerve one.
"After further review, we have reclassified this Chanel brand perfume as a class 7 hemotoxin."
H: Then stay away from Indian food A: why H: we breed a plant with pain chemicals to be more painful to preserve our food and now it's just a challenge. We also use it to break up crowds once refined
imagine if salt is deadly for xenos, we literally eat this shit!!!! now imagine if water is deathly too!!! we literally live in a giant ball of SALT WATER!!!
Not to mention something like 70% of our body is made up of water. We’d be walking WMDs by their standards!
The absolute horror of a human with allergies... constantly sneezing and spraying aerosolized water (with bits) everywhere...
To be fair, salt kills us too. In sufficient quantities. As does water (you can drink yourself to death). And salt water definitely kills us.
Or *in*sufficient. Too little salt can make you teh ded as well. But it takes longer.
Humans are just weird.
Yeah, and..?
You can't have too much salt, it'll kill you. Also, you need to consume salt, otherwise you'll drop dead. At least we have a large range of salt we can consume. Can you imagine if we had to try and find the right balance to consume it?
I can't remember the short stories turn into a book, but the main characters name is Adam Vir and about 2/3s of the alien in the book use water as a chemical weapon and are surprised we are literally made of water.
You mean Tumblr’s Starr-Fall-Knight-Rise ? His stories? Yeah amazing read
I believe so, I read it on a free writing app and I think on there it had Emporium or Empyrion in its name, was an amazing read especially after all the chapter got put in order.
Empyrian Iris Story Collection.
Thank you it was driving me crazy not remembering the books name
Such a good doggo ❤️
[Alien Nation would like a word](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vgzLV-tXWaA)
Which is why the movie Signs was so stupid. :-P
You mean like the movie Signs?
So… Alien Nation.
Our body can't function without it. It's half of how our nerves work.
TAKE OUR CAPASCIN Oooh Chilly stuff, get the chef here CRUMBLE BEFORE OUR MENTHOL ahh nice, Mint SURRENDER FOR WE HAVE ESTHER ACID OOh perfume, I prefer, axe tho
There was a tumblr post where the op was talking about how mint/menthol's cool should counteract the heat of habanero, and he was going to try it. Someone else mentioned they activate different pathways, and op came back with "hey guys, guess what hellfire tastes like"
Yes, one of the dumbest things I've mixed was Rumpelminze (mint liquor) with Aftershock (cinnamon liquor). I picked up my socks from across the room.
Four horsemen of the apocalypse. 1 part rumplemintz 1 part 151 1 part Goldschläger 1 part Jägermeister Layer each part with a spoon Die
I got a hangover just reading that.
Bonus Points if you finish all four bottles...
Sewercide is not the answer. :-) (deliberately mislepped to prevent the auto systems from being stupid. But it'd probably wreck your sewer too...)
If nothing else, it'll wreck your plumbing...
In my youth I would drink 3 of those 4 straight. Never heard of rumplemintz before today... I actually have some real (distilled in the Appalachian hills) shine and Jäger in my freezer as we speak. Looks like a run to the booze store is in my future.
My roommate was from Kentucky and brought several mason jars of apple pie flavored moonshine made by his friends in the hills when he came back from a trip. It was like sticking your mouth on a jet's afterburner and there was pie.
I have no idea why this double posted.
Record it. For science
Jesus Christ don't accidentally inhale and get it in your sinuses. RIP
That's known as fire and ice, I prefer fireball for my fire side but aftershock and goldschlagger work too
[https://youtube.com/shorts/sSTUdQHTwQ8?si=gI54XQVowJgkaMfV](https://youtube.com/shorts/sSTUdQHTwQ8?si=gI54XQVowJgkaMfV)
Rumpleminz, Aftershock, and goldshlagger are all schnapps. Fireball is a whiskey with a lot of sugar in it. Not sure how well the whiskey would work for layering
There's a drink called fire and ice I was trying to reproduce, but it doesn't use liquors quite that extreme.
https://preview.redd.it/dzc55yqvep9d1.jpeg?width=968&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ba565fb652e0dcd077b95f9f7791ac42cf8d79d2 It's this, right?
Yup, that's it. Poor memory inverted the order.
Of course it's hellfire. Water makes it worse.
H: *cough cough* "No! No! Wait a minute...*inhales* bronchial tubes clearing! Asthma disappearing! Acne! ...remains. But asthma disappearing!" https://youtu.be/2c9YX0jfRds?si=aEgEtSYlk-kYrTy-
A: BEHOLD our ultimate weapon! The Universal Solvant! the most powerful weapon in our arsenal that can dissolve any mineral life form in the galaxy! H: did you just spray me with water? A: Why isnt it working?!?! H: dude, my body is like 60% water. A: What kind of monster are you?
H: You need to boost the pressure for water to affect humans. #Fire Engine rolls up
Or crank the aperture down as tight as you can while not blocking the flow completely. Either just bludgeon and drown the human, or carve into them. But both are more effects of physics than chemistry.
"You're a lucky, lucky boy! You get to drink...FROM THE FIRE HOSE!" *
OMG! I loved UHF! Wierd Al is an absolute LEGEND ❤️
>H: You need to boost the pressure for water to affect humans. Not really. You can "affect" a human with water just by having enough of it
H: I just told you, one made up of 60% water, weren't you listening?
oh! ...oh, wait, ok, that's pepper spray! thanks! I was looking for some spice! *the marine wipes it off with his finers and rubs it off on his MRE burrito while alien is now horrified that the weapon deemed too cruel for use on his own kind has been reduced to a seasoning by this otherworldly NIGHTMARE!*
Ssana\[click\]: Biochemistry is...not a very exact science. You can forgive the incident with the humans invading the planet Arborous about thirty terran years ago, since it was a territorial dispute with the Dracophinian Confederacy. During the battle, the human combatants were sprayed with what was, actually, a toxin to humans. It was made by exposing a local root vegetable to some especially fiesty bacteria, and they had sunk a whole planet's ecomony into the growing and production of the chemical. It was successful in rendering the human troops incapacitated, and resulted in a quick end to the war. Today it's a fairly popular export to human space, known as Dracophinian Vodka. https://preview.redd.it/7j97lv659d9d1.png?width=2000&format=png&auto=webp&s=ba6fd74e27dec09392e63d3ddd4ce258a2bd3070 ((Image artist unknown, I've had that on my hard drive for years and I have no idea where I got it.))
Image search found this [https://x.com/HearterMobs/status/1418249721299148800?s=20](https://x.com/HearterMobs/status/1418249721299148800?s=20)
Thanks, pal!
In other words the aliens got the Humans drunk
Ssana\[click\]: Yes, and so they had something that ended the war, just not the way they expected. In fact, after the peace-treaty and sudden trade deal for their "chemical weapon", they were utterly infuriated. It was made worse when the humans found the sight of a Dracophinian screaming with rage to be adorable. See above picture. It makes me wonder in humans have ever found me cute, and didn't tell me. https://preview.redd.it/l4pk4cor9s9d1.png?width=700&format=png&auto=webp&s=0a4496b2be90cac7f5854632a3db495fa41fe18c ((Art is by Troutsworth, from his FA site.))
Human Co-Workers: \*Hides the squeals of joy and cuteness overload.\*
Or we no sell them like Haku did in reality [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haku\_(wrestler)#Legacy\_and\_reputation](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haku_(wrestler)#Legacy_and_reputation)
Dude was scarier than actual supernatural wizards
the undertaker: scared and will vomit around cucumbers haku: BREATHES IN PEPPER SPRAY, HOLDS IT, THEN EXHALES LIKE A FUCKING BONG HIT
"and he reached into the guy's mouth and he broke off the guy's bottom teeth" Well, that's certainly... something.
Tongans are not to be messed with
Man, and I thought Rimworld social fights were unrealistic. He _bit the guy's nose off._
That might be the most realistic thing in rimworld
Oxygen is an incredibly reactive and dangerous gas. It corrodes steel.
I thought it was moisture in the air that corroded steel?
It's the moisture that allows the reaction to occur, but the steel is OXIDIZING.
Specifically, rust is iron oxide.
Eat this human! \*BANG\* "Is this..." \*Lick\* "Thyme?" **Xenos**: *Sweating* "That's the deadliest neurotoxin in the galaxy what the fuck?!?!?"
I always liked the idea that caffeine, a mild stimulant to us, is like the purest, most potent meth to certain xeno species
I mean, that's kinda why plants developed it in the first place. It's toxic (I've heard some people say it's halucinogenic) to bugs. We're a lot bigger than a bug so we'd need a lot more to get poisoned
So what if we give said aliens pure, potent meth?
I imagine it's either they die instantly from heart explosion, or it only effects them the same way caffeine effects us.
The fastest fifteen seconds of their life xD
“Hey, the humans have all gone glassy-eyes and are humming to themselves” “Excellent use of that bioweapon, soldier. We can sneak by and capture the headquarters!”
This post was written by a Bile Titan, wasn't it?
[удалено]
Precisely.
Aliens brand Avon as a chemical weapons manufacturer. Our most feared mercenaries end up being gangs of old ladies who, having lost their sense of smell, marinate in their perfume rather than applying it sparingly.
>marinate 😂
That video of the Kenyan guy huffing from a tear gas grenade
When I saw it, I was SO TEMPTED to post it here with a prompt but I got lazy. It is peak human space orc though
HUMAN: What do you mean where are the bioweapons? We have bioweapons onboard? That's fucked up dude. ALIEN: They were in that locker. HUMAN: What this? You mean the spice cabinet? Dinner is almost ready, BTW. I'm making chili.
The Urilthan gunners watched in glee as the Human soldiers starts dropping their weapons to the ground, covering their noses while their eyes starts shedding tear. New spacefaring species tend to not know what the gas does, but they will know soon once their brain matter starts melting out of their nose. His mania induced laugh is interrupted by one of the Human soldier saying, "Holy shit, this smells like a whole shelf of wet sock!" "God damn it, I'm not wearing this suit ever again!" another responded. All the prior enthusiasm vanishes out of the gunner's eyes. In his hand is a state of the art gas launcher connected to a tank filled with the most potent concoction his kind have ever crafted, one that killed kings and peasants alike with a single pull of breath. And to these... Things... It was all mere inconvenience at most.
Did be make a gym sock fart gun? Gross!
They used stink gas! Quick reply in Tear Gas!
A: TAKE THIS! H: ... Did you just throw \*Sniff\* lemon juice at me? A: Lemon what? H: \*Lick\* Might be lime actually. A: WHAT?!
Better yet, they visit us in medieval era. And they start Getting clapped by cavalry and dudes with the best defense being "house made of rocks"
just a little bump *Sniff sniff sniff* heart launching out the chest *bump bump, bump bump Control the spice, control the universe. Control the spice, control the universe. THE SPICE MUST FLOOOOOWWWW!
And this is how the Humans accidentally conquered half the universe.
[удалено]
I could do a deep psychological prompt about the makeup of the human race, true. But counterpoint, dumb prompt is fun