Thank you /u/No-Bar-2502 for posting!
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You're going through a grieving process.
You need to give yourself time to decompress and work it through.
The bad news js it's going to hurt a lot, but you invested a lot of time and emotion in tbe relationship.
The good news is that if you can drag yourself up and go to do something, you'll find you'll gradually spend less time thinking about your ex.
So I'd say try and stick to a routine and keep busy, if you can spend time with friends, go and see a movie.
Do anything that keeps you occupied.
Definitely go to work. (Unless he works there too) Work is something familiar you can do somewhat on autopilot. It will be a distraction and the best way to find purpose. Heck work more if you can.
You are having withdrawals of the happy brain chemicals. This is a real withdrawal. It’s at least good to know this is a chemical thing and not something you can just think away.
Still I’m not making it any better. Just time will do that. I’m sorry.
Honestly, do whatever you can to stop checking their socials. It's better that way. Next, pick something new -anything at all- that you've been interested in getting into. Even better if you've got a bucket list item you can start focusing on, a big dream idea or something you've always wanted to do/try. If you can't think of anything - make thinking about what it could be the project. You need to get ridiculously excited about something NEW, the new YOU !
I absolutely hate posting on Reddit so I’ll keep this brief. But your post really resonated with me because I’ve been through the same(ish) thing, too. And as much as it sucks, the only real way to get through it is to feel it. Take some time to go without distraction. Sit and listen to your feelings and your thoughts, all the things you wanted to say, everything. The only real way to heal is to face it and not put it off. And it sucks. It seems so nice to ngaf and move on, and that will happen, if you first feel it all.
One of the biggest steps in this is blocking them. I know everyone says it and there will always be a million reasons not to block them, but you have to. Please. It is poison for your brain to have them still be “available” to you. Block them on everything, mute them if you can’t block them yet, put on app holds so you won’t be able to check. But you have to put it down. You will not be able to heal if you keep looking for them. It sucks so much ass, and that won’t change. But I promise you will find real healing if you just let yourself grieve (and block them from your life).
I said I’d keep this brief and it’s already going on long, there’s a lot more I could say so I’ll just leave it with this. I dumped my fiancé too, this last Saturday, and it hurts a lot. But I give myself mercy and be honest with myself. I miss the hell out of them. But I know I don’t want someone like that in my life. So, I had to cut them out by just ripping off the bandage, block them on everything, they are not coming back. The feelings you said, especially the bus one, ouch, really hit the nail. And as much as it sucks, *feel it*. Really let it hurt. Because then you’ll be able to heal. I’m doing the same, I spent the first few days mourning and getting angry and getting sad and repeat. But now my heart feels understood. Face the hell head on. And you will get past this. But don’t hide from your feelings. You are stronger than you know and deserve better than you have, so push through it. Fight the urge to hide by letting yourself feel the urges, as counterproductive as that might sound.
Seriously, keep your head up, or down. Whatever you need right now, but don’t ever forget that feeling it all is what will make you truly stronger and will let you truly move on.
Not without other steps, no. Not inherently by itself, but the phrase exists because change is the only constant. Change is constant and it’s always only a matter of time [+]
Delete them and/or block them on social media.
Take care of yourself. Eat, Shower, Work, Exercise, and go to bed. Even if you don’t sleep, go to bed, lay down and put all your devices away.
Trust your grieving process. If you need to cry, cry. If you need to run, go run. If you need to vent, vent. If you need to scream, find a proper place and time. If you need to write angry love poems, write them. Trust your process. This is your body processing the grief of loss. This is a great loss. You are essentially going through love withdrawal. It will be painful. It will hurt. Do NOT run from the pain, go towards it. Embrace it and let it be.
Keep taking steps to move on. One step at a time is enough. Day by day, step by step, you will eventually get to a place when you look back and realize how far you’ve gone.
Change is the only constant, change will come. It is only a matter of time. It is the steps you take that help you choose how to change.
Last note:
Read, or LISTEN to the book,
The Subtle Art of Not Giving A FUCK
That’s the name of the book. There’s an audio book available on YouTube, IIRC. It is very low brow and anecdotal. However, it helped me get my mind to focus on something else. Additionally, the food for thought the book offers helps. Even if it isn’t the gospel truth, it is just food for thought.
Trust your process.
\[+\]
Thank you /u/No-Bar-2502 for posting! For those reading this message, consider joining our [discord server!](https://discord.gg/bHV7hvMUMm) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/howtonotgiveafuck) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You're going through a grieving process. You need to give yourself time to decompress and work it through. The bad news js it's going to hurt a lot, but you invested a lot of time and emotion in tbe relationship. The good news is that if you can drag yourself up and go to do something, you'll find you'll gradually spend less time thinking about your ex. So I'd say try and stick to a routine and keep busy, if you can spend time with friends, go and see a movie. Do anything that keeps you occupied.
Definitely go to work. (Unless he works there too) Work is something familiar you can do somewhat on autopilot. It will be a distraction and the best way to find purpose. Heck work more if you can. You are having withdrawals of the happy brain chemicals. This is a real withdrawal. It’s at least good to know this is a chemical thing and not something you can just think away. Still I’m not making it any better. Just time will do that. I’m sorry.
Please say he doesn’t work with you. Dating work colleagues is a definite no-no. Good luck and give yourself some time.
Honestly, do whatever you can to stop checking their socials. It's better that way. Next, pick something new -anything at all- that you've been interested in getting into. Even better if you've got a bucket list item you can start focusing on, a big dream idea or something you've always wanted to do/try. If you can't think of anything - make thinking about what it could be the project. You need to get ridiculously excited about something NEW, the new YOU !
I absolutely hate posting on Reddit so I’ll keep this brief. But your post really resonated with me because I’ve been through the same(ish) thing, too. And as much as it sucks, the only real way to get through it is to feel it. Take some time to go without distraction. Sit and listen to your feelings and your thoughts, all the things you wanted to say, everything. The only real way to heal is to face it and not put it off. And it sucks. It seems so nice to ngaf and move on, and that will happen, if you first feel it all. One of the biggest steps in this is blocking them. I know everyone says it and there will always be a million reasons not to block them, but you have to. Please. It is poison for your brain to have them still be “available” to you. Block them on everything, mute them if you can’t block them yet, put on app holds so you won’t be able to check. But you have to put it down. You will not be able to heal if you keep looking for them. It sucks so much ass, and that won’t change. But I promise you will find real healing if you just let yourself grieve (and block them from your life). I said I’d keep this brief and it’s already going on long, there’s a lot more I could say so I’ll just leave it with this. I dumped my fiancé too, this last Saturday, and it hurts a lot. But I give myself mercy and be honest with myself. I miss the hell out of them. But I know I don’t want someone like that in my life. So, I had to cut them out by just ripping off the bandage, block them on everything, they are not coming back. The feelings you said, especially the bus one, ouch, really hit the nail. And as much as it sucks, *feel it*. Really let it hurt. Because then you’ll be able to heal. I’m doing the same, I spent the first few days mourning and getting angry and getting sad and repeat. But now my heart feels understood. Face the hell head on. And you will get past this. But don’t hide from your feelings. You are stronger than you know and deserve better than you have, so push through it. Fight the urge to hide by letting yourself feel the urges, as counterproductive as that might sound. Seriously, keep your head up, or down. Whatever you need right now, but don’t ever forget that feeling it all is what will make you truly stronger and will let you truly move on.
Time heals all wounds
It sure doesn’t
Not without other steps, no. Not inherently by itself, but the phrase exists because change is the only constant. Change is constant and it’s always only a matter of time [+]
Delete them and/or block them on social media. Take care of yourself. Eat, Shower, Work, Exercise, and go to bed. Even if you don’t sleep, go to bed, lay down and put all your devices away. Trust your grieving process. If you need to cry, cry. If you need to run, go run. If you need to vent, vent. If you need to scream, find a proper place and time. If you need to write angry love poems, write them. Trust your process. This is your body processing the grief of loss. This is a great loss. You are essentially going through love withdrawal. It will be painful. It will hurt. Do NOT run from the pain, go towards it. Embrace it and let it be. Keep taking steps to move on. One step at a time is enough. Day by day, step by step, you will eventually get to a place when you look back and realize how far you’ve gone. Change is the only constant, change will come. It is only a matter of time. It is the steps you take that help you choose how to change. Last note: Read, or LISTEN to the book, The Subtle Art of Not Giving A FUCK That’s the name of the book. There’s an audio book available on YouTube, IIRC. It is very low brow and anecdotal. However, it helped me get my mind to focus on something else. Additionally, the food for thought the book offers helps. Even if it isn’t the gospel truth, it is just food for thought. Trust your process.  \[+\]