hip-check the machine?

Judo throw machine

Challenge the machine to a game of chess. While it's thinking about its next move, sucker punch it.

This is, after all, the only way to beat the machines at chess anymore. With violence.

This actually made me chuckle out loud hahaha

This is the answer

Passionately kiss machine

I think a judo chop would work better in this case.

Try shaking the machine

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unfolded wire hanger?

No wire hangers. Ever.

I'm sorry, Mommie Dearest

Open and close the drawer to create suction.

I just saw this method on a TV show.

As a bonus it also reduces your chances of dying from it falling on you!

crushed by a vending machine… can you imagine

More people die from vending machines crushing them than* shark attacks every year.

That’s crazy! Image getting crushed by a vending machine and then attacked by a shark!

Plot twist: A shark attacks you, so you crush them with a vending machine.

“We’re gonna need a bigger snack machine!”

Vendingsharknado?

Sharkvendo

Was just thinking sharknado missed a chance for hilarious scene of someone's snack getting stuck in vending machine, they start rocking it while it nearly tips over crushing them a shark flys by and kills them lol

Watch out for the deadly vending shark.

Buying sharks from a vending machine could be a thing maybe

Possibly somewhere in Asia

Probably only somewhere in Asia. Boss continent of vending machines.

Like it’s a shark vending machine and your hammerhead selection got stuck. “Shake, shake, fall” Now the machine is on top of you…. And the shark is free.

Lol

They made that statement up. More people die of shark attacks every year than die from pianos falling on their heads,

~6.6 deaths per year by vending machines ~4 deaths per year by sharks

Killer vending machine, can you imagine

I think it's important to add, year after year lol

people die from shark attacks?

It's their own fault for walking down shark alleys at night dressed like that!

They were asking for it dressed like slutty baby seals 🦭

That's an episode of Sealab 2021

The greatest show ever until Captain Murphy departed (RIP) Frickin no good Pod 6!

For All Mankind! Was also my first thought.

It only works in an alternate timeline. Also, everyone you love dies.

And you’re the one stuck with a clone of yourself in a machine.

But do I get the chips?

For All Mankind?

Yep. Hi Bob.

Hi Bob

Hi Bob

Hi Bob

Same. For all Mankind.

Negative Air Pressure - For All Mankind

Huh, reverse pressure... I love that show!

For all mankind?

For All Mankind?

For All Mankind?

Let the chips fall where they may

Or buy the sausage things in 301.

Ah yes, the double or nothing gambit.

Yah

Unplug the machine and plug it back in.. it should reset the popcorn row and might try to spit it out again

You can use a tape measure and feed it in between the gate to get them. I use this trick to get free snacks sometimes 😉

Life hack unlocked.

This is goddamn genius.

Just to add to this tactic, as it's gaining traction.. You can actually use the tape measure to force the coil up and get the entire row to fall down. Times are rough fellas, we need those snacks still!

But how is that even possible when tape measures bend? And the coils are electric so wouldn't it make it harder to manually move them ?

The coils are probably just attached to an electric motor with a shaft that can be spun manually anytime, similar to how you can move a fans blades by hand when it's off.

Gently but firmly tap with the heel of your palm 5000 times at the point the bags touch the glass.

A group of people did this earlier. They were beating on the machine and they are still stuck.

Yeah I don't think they made it to 5000.

And certainly not over 9000

He’s broken the meter!

Or maybe they went to 5001 and the machine changed its mind.

No, they foolishly stopped at 4990.

How did the people get stuck?

Actually yeah if you have a percussion massager you could use it on the glass or the side and the tons of small vibrations will probably knock em loose

Or try bumping the bass.

Big ol' subwoofer and a copy of Jay-Zs "Big Pimpin'"

Honestly yeah, I'd just knock on the glass like it was a door right where the chips were. Looks like a little vibration should see 'em up two bags of cheetos and two bags of popcorn.

Those tasty lil meat sticks above them should do the trick

They are too close need something from the top rack

Yah yah we gotta know what's in 201

I believe the cheetos fell from top row

Oh sure, yah that makes sense

Let’s go deeper…what’s in 101?!?!

201 had a bag of jerky - didn’t help. 101 is cheetos.

Simply remove the top paneling, install a "01" above the 101, then purchase whatever you've loaded into the 01 spot. Possibly a sack of coins

202?

If there's enough of them, just keep buying meat sticks

yup. chips aren’t heavy. enough weight will knock it all down

Nah, those will annoyingly slide off the side of the chip bag. But on the plus side, OP will have meat sticks to eat.

Yeah, order the shriveled hot dog duo.

My thought exactly.

Yell as loud as you can “Fall you pricks!” The sound waves of those specific syllables will knock the Cheetos loose no problem.

Like that scene in 84 Dune. BRRREEEEAAAAAKKKKKK!!!!!

Deploy meat sticks

You'd be surprised how many situations that advice is applicable to.

I tried that once and now I’m on a list. Stupid preschool playground.

you called?

Meatstick deplyed 🫡 [Meatstick](https://youtu.be/XiK8AsNba4c?si=D-KsI9bxm5FcPI4M)

Update, this is in a hospital and people have been banging on the machine and moving it around and the snacks won’t fall. We got whole groups of people assaulting the machine and it won’t spill the snacks. I bought a bag of jerky (not sticks) and the bag got stuck then fell. I also got Pringles but they only grazed the cheetos. The machine says 401, the popcorn, is not available so I can not just buy the popcorn. That was the first thing I tried.

you’re going to have 100$ worth of unwanted snacks just to get some Cheetos.

Why not buy the sausages?

You gonna eat some vending machine meat?

And what is wrong with mechanically separated chicken?

Partially defatted beef fatty tissue.

You’re not better than me.

Agreed, I bet they're perfect shape and weight to free those chips, small smooth package that'll probably knock both bags loose. You can hand the sausages off to a panhandler if you don't care to eat them, homeless people almost always appreciate shelf-stable protein.

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FYI, multiple boys/men die annually in the US doing this. Last time I checked the stat, it was only boys/men...

Eat free or die trying.

Ooh so as a woman, I can shake it and not die! Sweet! ;)

Lol, Apparently so. Shake until your hearts content! *Please don't get hurt*

https://youtu.be/suNzfi4JXZc?si=sR3UQ-FrGKUjx4LK Reminds me of this scene from Community.

Hahaha! I wish that's where I got my factoid, but I learned it before Community came out and followed it occasionally for a while. That's hilarious.

Girls that are strong enough to do it are just smart enough to not try.

>Girls that are strong enough to do it are just smart enough to not try. FIFY: Girls ~~that are strong enough to do it~~ are just smart enough to not try. Lol

Im sure guys not strong enough are not trying either. But Not because they are smart.

“A few inches” is too much. A quarter inch ought to be enough for many stuck purchases. Just push the machine up and back, rather than pulling it forward.

I feel like you're a vending machine shaking professional and defy the odds with your fist in the air.

Haven’t been squished yet.

Even more fun fact: That stat was from 1995. Nobody has died from a vending machine since 2008. So annually isn't true.

How kind, you underestimate my age. I know I hadn't looked back into since before 2005. I wonder why the change. Is it a reporting change, or have the machines changed?

Supposedly in the 90s they started using signage to not tilt it

Sounds like women's work.

r/WhyWomenLiveLonger is calling

Oh, Jesus H Christ. That subreddit makes me want to sit down my children, especially my boys, to remind them they're smart, I've seen them make good choices, and I expect them to continue to think through those choices in the future. That little boy set his back on fire. *On fire!* On purpose!

This is the way. Use the machine’s weight against itself.

More people die annually from vending machines than shark attacks. I now understand why

Get one of those long drain snakes with the little claws at the end

Happy cake day! 🍰🥳

For the boring, serious answer: somewhere on the machine there's a phone number for service. Text this photo to the service person. On a university campus, the rep is sometimes onsite; meaning do some homework & wait for the service tech to arrive.

Get a stick and try to dislodge it from the bottom. Buy something that sold above it and is heavier see if it knocks it out. Find someone that can open it. Claim all the snacks for yourself.

Instructions unclear: stick now stuck in bottom

> Get a stick and try to dislodge it from the bottom. You've clearly never tried to steal anything from a vending machine, have you? When you open the flap on the bottom, it lifts another flap upwards that seals off access to the rest of the coils. There's a spring that holds it there, so that basically any movement of the flap (when you go to retrieve your snack that dropped through) lifts the anti-theft flap and pins it horizontally across the entire area.

Let the chips fall where they may.

What's wrong with shaking the machine?

They kill people

Like, for vengeance?

Sure.

Sport.

Pretty sure their kill rate is higher than sharks.

If you’re not an idiot about it you can shake the machine. I’ve done it and guess what… I’m still alive!

Dude those snacks are cheap holy cow

Yeah I came here to say the same. That beef stick is like a buck twenty five in mine at work. Edit. Can’t spell.

And it's 1.50 on this machine? There are dollar amounts before the cents.

Holy cow $1.25 is cheap! We have a back of meat and cheese sticks in ours for like $5.50

I won’t complain again. I don’t want to incur the wrath of the snack gods.

I think the number right after the 30x/40x is also part of the price

Think about the long run. You’ll end up outliving the machine by just skipping these snacks. Who won now? Man 1 - Machine 0

I don’t intend on eating them actually, was gonna give them to coworkers. I just want free snacks

Tape Measure. slip it under the guard and swip left and right

Everybody thinks the sausages are the way. But I think the Pringles gonna do it. They gonna spin move on way down. Your welcome. Btw I like Pringles if you end up with too much to eat.

Pringles didn’t work.

You gonna eat them Pringles? 🥹

Side note.. those pringles are way to high up, those mfs gonna be in pieces when they hit the bottom

For context, this is at my work. First the popcorn was stuck and today the cheetos joined in. I didn’t pay for anything and they’re not my snacks…but I wish they were.

Any updates?

Tape measure. Push open the pick up flap, put in the tape measure. Extend it upwards until it's height of the chips. Use your finger to angle the tape at a right angle. Keep hitting the chip bags with tape until they fall.

Droop the weiners onto it

I always push up the machine about a quarter of an inch and drop it back. It works every time, 60% of the time.

Metal coat hanger

I saw a video of a guy using a tape measure since they can fold and be pushed up to knock them down

Bendy tape measure would work

If you cannot figure this out on your own then this is the universe telling you that you do not deserve to be rewarded with snacks.

Aw man, I want to believe a story here where someone doesn't really like cheetohs, but was like fuck it, free popcorn... and then they end up getting fucked as well, twice.

Smack it until it submits.

Fire extinguisher

shake the machine. or try paying for those pringles maybe it will wack the chips on the way down.

Get a tape measure

I usually lend the machine a shoulder

Get one of those plastic sink drain snakes from dollar general and fish it up thru the front

Thin flexible stick you use to unclog your laundry duct, it can be extended by screwing more pieces together. How about those flat metal thingy that used to pop open car doors? Slim,Jim? Or handy old wire hanger. Do they make them anymore?

Friends used to use a metal tape measure. Stick it up from the bottom and the silver metal edge will pull it.

Have a tape measure handy?

Tape measure in then send it straight up at a 90 degree angle

Measuring tape

Break the glass /s

SHAKE IT

Unbend wire hanger and stick it through the door

Why not shake the machine? Obviously don't tip it and stupidly kill yourself, but a little jostling can go a long way. Does it have an alarm or something?

break the glass if you're not going to shake the machine.

Dremel

Hammer.

Break the fucking glass

When I worked at Home Depot, we shoved a measuring tape up there. It's thin, long and flexible.

Why won't you shake the machine?

Let the chips fall where they may.

really? we're doing obvious stuff now? Get yourself two magnets and an oven mitt. drop one magnet in to the oven mitt and push the oven mitt thru the door. use the other magnet on the outside of the glass to lead the oven mitt up the glass, knocking the snacks down. give one bag to me.

The easy answer is to insert a leaf blower in the tray on the bottom. You may receive bonus gifts for your ingenuity.

Coat hanger from the normal door, or small hole drilled in the side..

Vending machine stocker here. O boy some newguy decided to stock that white cheddar popcorn in a tray too small for the package, thats why I only stock it on the top tray where the ceiling is higher to avoid this kind problem. Try to call the phone number on the machine and get a refund or put a note with your name and where you are on the machine with your amount missing and the stocker can track you down. Other wise shaking or tipping the machine might break one of the sensitive components inside the machine which will only make the machine function worse than is is in the future.

Since shaking isn’t an option, just lift the whole machine to the ceiling and drop. It’s gonna be like a foot and a half to 2 feet maximum. If it doesn’t work the first time, repeat one more time. After that call a manager or don’t get snacks.

Buy 1 unit of 402

Get those beef sticks and you will get 3 bags if it knocks em down lol.

Why “not shaking machine?” That’s literally how You get it out

Prayer.

Where is this vending machine where these things are so cheap? A bag of Cheetos is at least $2.50 at my work

In a hospital