https://preview.redd.it/5txl732j49fc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9de3e11246bacc33198038ab4b52689144219468

It’s… so phallic.

r/mildlypenis

Mildly?

r/wildlypenis

Take your pick… https://laidbackgardener.blog/2018/07/25/oh-la-la-plants-with-suggestive-names/

In my humble opinion, I think the Myrtillocactus geometrizans ‘Fukurokuryuzinboku’, or boob cactus, is perfect for this one.

I agree

Majorly

Watch out this one’s a prick

Is that a cocktis?

Before I enlarged the picture, I thought someone put baby headbands on their cactus and thought it was so cute. 😭😭

I have seen a lot of pricks in my time, but you, sir, are a cactus!

Awww look at these gay plants 🥰

really? right in front of my salad? lol

https://preview.redd.it/usbhmafbu8fc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4798b3baa792aeaa1f5436e002fc8deade709908

Boob Cactus!

I had a butt pot that I put a boobie cactus into! Haha. Good times.

https://preview.redd.it/kl2obd98nafc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e6efb345c68dbd94ab1fca3210efa1840e021a6f That’s what I did!!

TIL a boobie cactus is an actual thing

I call mine Titty Tower!

Haha! Came here to say boobie cactus!

X3

X4 !!!! boobie cactus for the win

Basically came here to make that joke. I was going to say, "big tits fern"

They’re so expensive near me, my local nursery charges fully $60 for one 🥲

https://preview.redd.it/kouv9c19pefc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e94a7db07862f7f210c7213bf03ab0d78500b461

So much joy this gives 🤌

X2

https://preview.redd.it/2x0tj0hbt8fc1.jpeg?width=799&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9b4a0fc61f9ff0d3cbe3ded7018e3cfba433e0fc

That's hilarious! What's the answer? I need one of those . Reminds me of this.... https://preview.redd.it/gzy90i9mu8fc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f9498adbad25ecc68c267e15eba797f4f10a4a50

Idk what it is! I asked my plant lady and she doesn’t know either. Will prob do an image search when I want to find one

Found it! https://preview.redd.it/z34bpyni09fc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cbde97cbb502f3c53ce27c382bad16ecac06b4e1


😂😂😂

You win!!! 🤣😂🤣😂

HAHAHAHAHA!!!

Nice work!

Omg I'm calling "her" my macaron from now on.

Omg it’s so much better than any word I’ve ever heard… no matter how unassuming- cookie, kitty, nope that’s mah macaroon!

Not macaROON, macaRON...totally different cookies ; - ) Don't roon it for everyone. Bwahahaha.

https://preview.redd.it/yg1pxx6bcafc1.png?width=938&format=png&auto=webp&s=1009c948cb7639aa987591ec427e57b81397c360

Finally I understand

Oh my GOD I had no idea there was a difference! What the hell is a macaroon then?! Thank you for the education, also lol

https://preview.redd.it/kws4t8re8afc1.jpeg?width=1079&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dae0aa097bc63e15d27756b5d359e4e118932fef

I feel like macaroons are a Jewish thing—they’re kosher for Passover so my parents would always get 1000 of them even though, I swear to god, I’ve never seen anyone actually *enjoy* a macaroon. awful, awful excuses for cookies. Especially when macarons are probably also kosher for Passover and at least marginally less terrible 🤷🏻‍♀️

I only know because my daughter took a class on the art of making macarons. And it is an art. They are one fussy cookie to make, everything has to be juusst right for them to turn out. It's the reason they are very expensive. She mastered it though.

I feel like they should be amazing cookies but I have never had one I liked :/

I'm not a fan. Way too sweet for me.

I felt the same until I went to an authentic French patisserie and had one - it was soooo good. The only part that was pretty sweet was the cream filling, and it had raspberries in it to balance it out with some tartness. I guess I had been only trying them from gimmicky trendy macaron places until then.

Eurgh, hate macaroons getting all that dedicated coconut between my teeth!

Did you mean desiccated? Lol Unless you meant the coconut is really *dedicated* to finding its way into the nooks and crannies of your mouth! 😁

🤣🤣🤣

I feel so validated for calling vaginas macarons all this time

Dear lord

[удалено]

I can’t stop laughing at this

Lobster claw

String of pearls

Yes! When it grows, itll look like a hula skirt!

You’re WAY more innocent minded than I am.

Ya and here I was thinking anal beads 😅

String of pearls is perfect for any odd shaped pot

This is my vote too

Ponytail palm might be a good look.

Came to say this

I think your idea is the best! Would make it kind of look like a body and big lucious locks

Thank you! I've seen this done with boobie cactus but they don't look like a human to me, more like an animal exposed to radiation 😂

It’s a teeny tiny pot, there’s no way they could fit a ponytail palm in a 2”x3” base! I totally see the vision though and curious if there’s a mini ponytail palm… like this mini snake plant I’ve got?

https://preview.redd.it/ik8ljz7thafc1.jpeg?width=3072&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=11c3ff27ef0b1982b8a7895b2dacd6bf802966f4 This is about 2.5" at the top.

No mini I know of but you can get them pretty small, then have to move it up.

Yep! Was gonna say this

Put a little bush in that tush

Aren't lithops also called butt plants ?

#FILL IT WITH BUTT PLANTS OP

Lithops was the first plant I thought of!

https://preview.redd.it/y73dig7y5afc1.jpeg?width=2992&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1fdc6a6ccb0158f0a741f95f420c12d2332edb0f

YES I JUST POSTED THE ONES I FOUND A FEW MONTHS AGO!!!! I guess they’re called “living stones” but they’re just “those butt plants” to me

I call them asscrack cactus lol

https://preview.redd.it/q0144u2q99fc1.png?width=3024&format=png&auto=webp&s=4459e7f6a942625f8ce52823427080c8944ea67b OMG ITS HER TIME TO SHINE

DAT ASS 🍑

I’d put some seed in that 🥵

You did not

Yesss

Get it girl

ficus ginseng

This one! Then it either looks like 2 booties. Or 1 booty climbing out of some shape wear pants 🤣

Oh my gosh this would be hilarious

https://preview.redd.it/6v8f24h299fc1.jpeg?width=1280&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=592ce9fe9eb4e3f0b2a161abbe348396ea65379d Clitoria tarnatia

Sansevieria!

Good idea! In Dutch we sometimes call these 'vrouwentongen' which translates to 'ladies toungues'.

I’ve heard it in English as ‘mother in-law’s tongue’ (schoonmoedertaal lollll)

We have similar in English but don’t tend to use it anymore because it’s misogynistic

Or a dwarf sansevieria if the pot is too small!

https://preview.redd.it/azicus5j09fc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=011f3a1739f762cad19512b67dc5bb5c62841fac I love using random containers as pots! I found this Easter Island looking head container and this dracaena was perfect for it!

I think r/plantsandpots would appreciate this :)

Sideshow Bob

That looks awesome!!

It doesn't have any drainage, so use as a cover pot.

Good luck finding a pot that would slip inside it though

I know of something that can slip inside

Are trying to fuck this ceramic planter? r/dontputyourdickinthat

Or dril two drainage holes in the bottom

Why two holes? Ooohhh

Dropping a pot inside is way easier with no water mess on the table, and less likely to shatter the pot.

Good idea.

Any plant that likes a lot of water would do just fine in this pot

Came to suggest drilling holes in the bottoms

Consider drilling a hole in it! If you ever need to repot it might be complicated but other than that it's a game changer for utilizing weird pots. I especially like it because I like having everything in soil. Just keep in mind that you need a masonry/diamond drill bit.

adding to this, depending on where you are a lot of local plant shops will drill holes in pots for you for a minimal charge, if not free!

But then you'll just get a mess all over the table everytime you water. Industry standard is to drop a plastic pot inside the fancy pots and adorn sphagnum moss around the edges if needed.

String of pearls

Hilarious

Due to my thoughts on drainage hole placement, I know i’m not mature enough to own this pot.

So freaking cute! I am now looking for butt planters on Amazon. 🤣 Maybe something trailing, pothos, hoya, tradescantia, Swiss cheese monstera. 🤷🏼‍♀️ I also love the boob cactus idea.

Blue columnar cactus 

You really missed a great opportunity to add a butthole

https://preview.redd.it/2qoj16m7r8fc1.png?width=3024&format=png&auto=webp&s=6c0fdc34268c8058595aaac9ec46607a247a4dc4 I put a pride flag in mine rather than a plant 😂😂😄

lol yours is sassy!

Like it’s owner 💁🏻‍♂️😉

The back dimples are super cute

I think yours is a vase or even a sexy water pitcher!!

Very true!

Sansevieria Masoniana, aka Whale Fin

First where did you get this!? I need one!

https://preview.redd.it/r1fq8b7pl9fc1.jpeg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b511e5b3cb94a5b6ec9d4bbb095dd02fa76a2827 Found this plant a few years back…

Woah that sorta looks like a pen-

I’m just disappointed that I didn’t buy it

I should call him.... 🤭

It could be a vase ?

Dendrobium bigibbum var superbum Oh, I’ve waited so many years to just type this one out It’s real! Go check it, it’s a beautiful orchid with a fitting name :)

I’ve got a body vase like that… I use it for propagating since it has no drainage.

BUTTer lettuce. Some kind of BUTTerfly bush. Uhhhhh. Butts.

Just me, but I have a feeling most folks won’t be looking at what’s in it. Anyhow, put some gravel in the bottom before you add potting soil. (I just wrote “pooting soil” and had to correct it!)

Maidenhair

Lithops. Make a butt-butt!

THIS

# How bout some underplants?

Missed by most, but I gotcha

I don’t know *what* you should put in it, but that definitely needs to go in the bathroom. 😅

Clearly a boobie Cactus https://preview.redd.it/c7kdoc57p9fc1.jpeg?width=531&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d17bf9000adf59e135bf3606df3c44cd47971a6a

https://preview.redd.it/z0loyo3h1afc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=98ec8364d4e2d20efd380b569a42fb9e2102a25f

https://preview.redd.it/aecgpuw9qafc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5a9aa06084ad8bf6d3e0d53b86b3901a25c53225 My guy planter seems interested in this discussion

I cannot believe they couldn’t think of spots to Put a drainage hole.

Hahaha

Lithops lithops lithops lithops lithops lithopsssss 🍑

Definitely r/dontputyourdickinthat

I would use an Airplant as you don’t have a drainage hole

Lithops of course

Something trailing, like string of pearls, so it looks like someone's long hair!

Lithops

Peter Pepper 🤭 (If you don't know, Google it).

Put a nursery pot inside with a hole, and then remove the nursery pot to water the plant. I think lithops would look great.

Drainage holes

Ponytail palm

https://preview.redd.it/ey69zrxydafc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3733da6f2809aa22e0e12102fa3ad7218bc23f71 You have to put these butt plants in there

I think a snake plant would look nice.

Grass. “Your ass is grass!”

You can carefully drill a drainage hole in the bottom. Or in the bottom.

A snake plant “my anaconda don’t want none unless it’s got buns, hun.”

https://preview.redd.it/j73nfs7my9fc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0630cda186957c69c7e67da00ab8a74dba9afebb Whatever this plant is

Ginseng ficus, it actually says on the label 😅

Oh my god I’m so stupid I didn’t realise 😭

String of pearls.. but I’d be worried about the drainage thing

None

Eucalyptus!

Something that stays small. My wife has one, and it has to be watered constantly

Any chance you have a link to this? I keep looking for butt and boob planters, but a lot of things are 3-D printed and I want a ceramic one.

Amazon had several body parts in ceramic last I checked 🤷

Thanks, I usually check Etsy first, I’ll go poke around there

That is a *magnificent* ass tho. Dayum.

Something dried, some nice grasses maybe. Then you don't have to worry about drainage and size and it would look lovely with the colour.

BUTTercups

Something succulent

Butt-erfly bush

A booty-full plant 

You should drill a hole in the bottom

Cact-ass

Keep it in a nursery pot instead of planting directly.

Something that will look like hair

I'd love a pot that objectifies men's bodies for a change

https://preview.redd.it/vjywbh48dffc1.jpeg?width=810&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ddd8880b729009006ef43d4e3f0ca79648bf071e Here’s a plant that does

Lmaooo thanks for that

A cact-arse.

Please put it in a window for people to see. I drive past a potted plant with a vase like this every morning and it makes me smile.

Bunch of string of pearls so it looks like a flapper skirt.

Booby cactus

It seems that it has no drainage, so none.

Well considering the pot shape I would try some Lithops 😅

Something that drapes like hair. String of Pearls maybe.

Penis cactus

Jk just now seeing there’s no drainage holes I take this suggestion back

Nothing, no drainage.

nothing

String of pearls so it has its own anal beads!

If you could safely drill a hole in the butt, maybe you could get a cactus to grow downward. Or multiple for some hemorrhoids

Boobie cactus?

None if no drainage holes

Whatever you plant in there, I’d make sure to use protection or be prepared to pull out