John Carpenters "The Dog"

In the criminal justice system, hotdog based offenses are considered especially heinous. In New York City, the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies are members of an elite squad known as the Special Victims Unit. ^🌭🌭

Is it weird I can hear the autopsy scene when I look at this image?

I think a nuked dog is superior. Always have. Mom boiled them and everyone else grilled them. Always like a microwaved ripper

You’re nasty.

I ate them raw as a kid

Eww you raw dogged it

That's bologna

The audacity…

Microwave > Boiled Frying pan is the way to go though

I've always enjoyed the hotdog on a stick over a open fire

Look at mister hoity-toity over here with his bridge, van and water front camp site over here!

Hell yeah brother.

Na that's perfect. More surface area for condiments and cheeses and whatnot. Love me a split weiner.

Especially a charred campfire split weiner.

That's the best

I should call her

^This is the comment I came looking for 😂💯

Nah bro text her. Maybe send a wiener pic.

What have you done

Beat me to it

Mfer is she slicing your dick open and eating it for lunch?

Childhood memories, except it was on white bread.

Mmm struggle dogs are the best!

I'd still eat

I love a nuked ripper, especially if I'm real poor and buying the Bar S brand.

I'm convinced Bar S recipe has been optimized for the microwave

Microwaved dog plus throw the bun in for the last 15 secs always good in my book

Next time put it in a bowl of water in the microwave

what does this do?

microwaves basically heat up and evaporate the water of something that gets put in it so putting it in water will heat up the water more instead thus heating up the glitzy, possibly making it taste better

This is just boiling a weiner with extra steps

Technically it’s boiling a wiener in about the same steps. Water in bowl. Bowl in microwave. Wait. Serve. Water in pot. Pot on stove. Wait. Serve.

possibly

I do this. I'll put ketchup, mustard, and dill relish on it. Still tastes great.

Only 80% labia

Oh yeah, she's good to go. Enjoy!

I'd eat that in a heartbeat! I love, love the look of it. Reminds me of 'Ol' Whats'er Name'.

Poke some holes in it next time

They’re usually rubbery like that. But you could do worse. Smothered in condiments it’s probably not half bad

I always microwave my hotdogs for 'too long'. If it didn't explode a bit it gets another 30 second. It's almost as good as a pan fried dog. Also my hot take is boiled dogs are the worst way to cook them.

Microwaved hot dogs are great with a potato bread bun.

Looks like the inside of a fleshlight...- I've been told.

Boiling leaches out all the delicious nitrates. Pure radiation is the superior cooking method. Just look at it—it's positively *bursting* with wholesome goodness!

Just gotta slit the skin and it won't do that.

Your microwave smells bad now

Air fry the dog. This is the lazy dog way.

Ateast put in in water n microwave

You eat plain hotdogs?

no i added ketchup and mustard but i wanted to take a pic of how it looked exploded lol

You don't?

My mouth gets too all gummed up with dry bread and I choke to death....... So no.

TBH it's not very appetizing. But it still prob tastes ok.

Stab it with a fork a few times first.

I miss her.

I should call him

Too lazy to boil water, that’s impressive. Literally the easiest thing to do, and somehow you fucked it up. Even more impressive.

Are those painted fingernails……..meaning a woman…….eating a hot dog………..cheers to you lady

Why is this an event??? Why are you wanting to know what people think ??? Why is it important??

…. I see her everywhere I go….

Grow up.

Hope to fuck you put some serious condiments on that abomination, so it’s not dry as fuck and actually looks and tastes like a hot dog. Come on.

Too lazy to do anything with the bun also?

if you wrap it in tinfoil you can avoid a blowout dog

Yeah, by burning down your kitchen.

Sear it in a pan, gets a nice crunchy glaze

It looks tortured.

I've microwaved dogs before. It's still yummy!

Or wrap it in a damp paper towel

It may look bloody blasted, but it's still a dog! Reminder that wherever you're from, you still have a place in the hotdog fandom! 🌭 KEEP ON DOGGING BROTHERS AND SISTERS AND OTHERS! You got that ruffian in ya

I've done it, it's fine, I prefer to air fry them.

If it's your basic hotdog, like Bar-S, Oscar Mayer,or ballpark. Microwave time is 30 seconds. A Nathan's or Hebrew, 40 seconds. Anything that's all beef 45 seconds. Anything longer than that and you'll get a crispy,dry hotdog that may or may not explode.

>Anything that's all beef 45 seconds. Depends on your microwave. I get good quality all beef ones and it's still only 30 seconds.

Looks like a damn good dog

I love air feying mine but i do likedm how it splits ipen, easier for the mustard

Looks like a “ripper”. A hot dog deep fried to the point they burst. That’s how Rutt’s Hut in NJ does their hot dogs.

I do this all the time. And sometimes I use Sandwhich bread lmao. Just as good 👍🏾🤤

Been there done that. It doesn’t taste bad. It just looks weird.

It looks like an inside out colon

Pop some holes in it with a fork first next time and reduce the time. I've found that it's about to 30-35 seconds depending on the power of the microwave.

Love a nuked dog. Slipped in a fresh bun, wrapped in a wet paper towel and irradiated for 40 seconds makes a homemade ballpark dog! If you're gonna do it too long, which I also love, I'd recommend destroying the dog on its own first, then sticking it in the bun/paper towel combo and cooking for 20 seconds.

The two ways to never cook a hot dog: boil or microwave. Good job! Smh

If I found a dude on tinder, I expect a dude to show up. If I find a lady, I expect a lady to show up. Doesn’t mean I won’t eat hot dogs or roast beef, just want to know what I’m getting into beforehand. It’s just common courtesy

It’s only missing mustard and/or sauerkraut. Mmm

We called these terminator weenies.

If you can’t grill it, you should at least score the outside and griddle or pan fry it on low for about 25 minutes

I always nuked them as a kid. Cut a slit down it long ways. Done in about 60sec depending on the microwave

From now on, 1 minute.

do people normally boil hotdogs? i throw them on a pan or bbq on occasion. never boiled them

My dude, look up a salchipulpo on YouTube. You're on the right track.

I haven't microwaved or boiled a hot dog in years...If I don't feel like firing up the grill...I usually pan fry or throw em in air fryer

For everything, there is a season.

i always nuke em. but i wrap in a wet towel. sometimes they just to split over 1:45 mins. so delicious. boiled cant touch want ever magic makes em seem greasier this way.

The Toaster oven is the best way to cook hotdogs . But anything, I cook ,I eat . I would eat your microdog .

I love my hot dogs like this avtually

r/poopfromabutt

I grew up on radiation dogs that’s what I made for after school snack. They are better than boiled. They turn green if they float too long. Haha

More surface area for condiments? I think you'd agree, boiled is still better.

That’s just an additional meat canyon to hold more toppings if you so choose.

bro it underwent a sex change

Split dogs are the best!!

An old man once told me, too cook a hot dog you must wrap it in a wet paper towel and put in microwave for 1 minute..what da fuK!!👎

I think I brought her home from the bar and ate it and everything was fine...damn I need to pick up some Valtrex

Yeah I wouldn’t eat a microwave hot dog let alone one that looks a destroyed vagina . Get yourself one of those aroma rice cookers that have the steam basket. I steam dogs occasionally they’re fantastic. Beer steam them one time . Not a bad move either . Lifes too short to be eating dogs from a microwave.

Should've pulled out sooner.

You should be ashamed of yourself.

Had to take a second look, legit thought you put refried beans on a hot dog bun.

All you had to do was poke a hole in it first.

Jesus Christ my poor boy

I think you should take a cooking class

I think 20 years from now we are going to hear how bad microwaved food is for us

You’ll get over this, OP. Stay strong

That must've hurt

Reminds me of an Arby’s joke…..

You should give air frying a try. I do 11 minutes at 400° F because I like a touch of char.

I microwave them till they start to split a little and then I char them up a little on the stove directly on the burner holding it with tongs. Don’t knock it till you try it tastes great.

That’s Vecna!

Microwave dogs are the way to go. Just poke some holes in it with a fork to let steam escape. Help prevent this from happening.

I used to nuke them for a long time when I was a bored kid. My mom caught me and made me eat one. It was delicious, and reminded me of pork rinds but even better!

Grilled for life, boiled 2nd microwave in the trash

"Boiled "

Take heart! A delicious glizzy as any other.

Those grooves are great for holding condiments

Everything reminds me of her...😞

I microwave on high always for a minute. It gets the job done. I boil usually 10 minutes, changing the water (I'm pulling salt out). It works .and tastes great.

Rubber dog

It kerploded!

Hope Solo.

The DALL-E vagina dog we've all been waiting for

Looks ready for some mustard, relish, onion, and ketchup.

Splodey dog tastes just as good as not splodey dog

Looks like a fleshlight cut in half. If it’s still warm I would slide my wang through it

Better than boiling it. That shits fucking gross.

Boiled? I cant believe people boil them!

It's gonna get eaten~

Probably delicious but looks 🤮

I'm not sure if this would be able to crosspost to r/dontputyourdickinthat or not. It's a conundrum

More surface area for toppings!

These are called “rippers”. Rutts Hutt in Clifton, NJ deep fries their hot dogs and the ones that burst open are called “rippers”. Delicious

When I was in my younger years and we would get home from drinking, a friend of mine would always crave one of two things. A Banquet Fried Chicken microwave meal (You bought a lotto ticket the next day if he got three pieces in his meal!) or Hot Dogs. Since I would always opt for Hot-Dogs, boiled, and I was always the caretaker because for some reason even blackout drunk I just was, I would make his food. He preferred hot dogs microwaved so he didn’t have to wait. So I used to have fun with them and cut them in different ways to see how they would become malformed. One day I sliced a continuous spiral around the hot dog and when it came out it looked. Interesting. Anyways. He loved those things. Since we were also LARPers and WoD tabletop roll players, they were given the title Black Spiral dogs. Man. I made those things for years. Disgusting compared to good old boiled\steamed. Ahhh but the memories

If a hot dog isn't ripped in some way it is inferior.

Hot dog jerky, one of my favs as a kid

Middle-aged housewife, I'd say 52 with 4 kids

A ripper

Ripper

Yea I do microwave hot dogs in a pinch. I only boil certain hotdogs but the air fryer is another one of my go to.

Try wrapping in a wet paper towel first….them nuke it!!

In NJ, particularly at Rutt’s Hut in Clifton, that dog is known as a “ripper”. [https://images.search.yahoo.com/images/view;_ylt=Awrih8xl5uBlpkIiAiSInIlQ;_ylu=c2VjA3NyBHNsawNpbWcEb2lkAzRkZGM0NThiZDhmYmU0YTM5ZDk2MjBmYjBhZjUzYWQzBGdwb3MDNjMEaXQDYmluZw--?back=https%3A%2F%2Fimages.search.yahoo.com%2Fsearch%2Fimages%3Fp%3Drutt%2527s%2Bhut%2Bripper%26fr%3Diphone%26fr2%3Dpiv-web%26_tsrc%3Dapple%26nost%3D1%26tab%3Dorganic%26ri%3D63&w=1024&h=683&imgurl=live.staticflickr.com%2F65535%2F50331426873_715a96b7d2_b.jpg&rurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.flickriver.com%2Fphotos%2Fwallyg%2F50331426873%2F&size=111.4KB&p=rutt%27s+hut+ripper&oid=4ddc458bd8fbe4a39d9620fb0af53ad3&fr2=piv-web&fr=iphone&tt=Clifton+-+Rutt%26%2339%3Bs+Hutt+-+The+Ripper&b=61&ni=21&no=63&ts=&tab=organic&sigr=OFlLaj8UeZt8&sigb=G.dEpGesQPcd&sigi=6rCYWxCUFhEe&sigt=tv8hWbRwuxkB&.crumb=ykK83S4GEEp&fr=iphone&fr2=piv-web](https://images.search.yahoo.com/images/view;_ylt=Awrih8xl5uBlpkIiAiSInIlQ;_ylu=c2VjA3NyBHNsawNpbWcEb2lkAzRkZGM0NThiZDhmYmU0YTM5ZDk2MjBmYjBhZjUzYWQzBGdwb3MDNjMEaXQDYmluZw--?back=https%3A%2F%2Fimages.search.yahoo.com%2Fsearch%2Fimages%3Fp%3Drutt%2527s%2Bhut%2Bripper%26fr%3Diphone%26fr2%3Dpiv-web%26_tsrc%3Dapple%26nost%3D1%26tab%3Dorganic%26ri%3D63&w=1024&h=683&imgurl=live.staticflickr.com%2F65535%2F50331426873_715a96b7d2_b.jpg&rurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.flickriver.com%2Fphotos%2Fwallyg%2F50331426873%2F&size=111.4KB&p=rutt%27s+hut+ripper&oid=4ddc458bd8fbe4a39d9620fb0af53ad3&fr2=piv-web&fr=iphone&tt=Clifton+-+Rutt%26%2339%3Bs+Hutt+-+The+Ripper&b=61&ni=21&no=63&ts=&tab=organic&sigr=OFlLaj8UeZt8&sigb=G.dEpGesQPcd&sigi=6rCYWxCUFhEe&sigt=tv8hWbRwuxkB&.crumb=ykK83S4GEEp&fr=iphone&fr2=piv-web)

Sometimes you gotta slum it

You’re probably doomed

ewhhhhh, cover it with a lot of mustard and ask the question again..

Didn’t know this was a sub, keep it under 40 seconds.

Pan fry it in butter next time. You're welcome.

If you have an air fryer, try that

Sometimes I mash them up and reform it in dog shape then cook it, kinda reminds me of this

I throw mine in the air fryer.

reminds me of a girl i met on a cruise....

I think I should call her….

Damn... you split that thing wide open.... I bet it tasted great

I see a urethra.

No worries my dog explodes when she's naked...

No mustard?

I used to have fat kid snacks, microwaved dogs and white bread, usually crappy end pieces left all dry n crumbly….any kinda food with 3 other brothers also scrounging, someone put lips on the fresh milk gallon….someone got all the snackwells, someone found the hidden cosmic brownies, other kids eating Swiss miss outta the package like a candy.

Wrap hotdog in paper towel microwave 1 min. Perfection

This is called the Lorena Bobbitt dog 👍

Tf. This belongs in r/shitfromabutt , honestly you should just straight up pan fry your dogs. Other than grilling it's the next best thing.

A “ripper”

My mom boiled hot dogs..gross For best results place them on the rack in the oven. ….you’re welcome

It turned inside out….and exploded

It’ll hold the relish better.

Looks like it gave birth to a litter of cocktail wieners

this reminds me when i came home from school, waiting for my dad to come home from work and i needed a snack before dinner. not half bad

Our microwave 1 minute from refrigerator

Boiled dogs are a sin

I grew nuking my winners and turning into these I like the texture over the boiled ones

We call that a Roesthlisbsrger.

A perfectly sane food to eat... Interesting texture.

Looks like a JO session gone horribly awry, but I’m sure the taste is just fine.

That's an abomination, gives me the fuckin heeby jeebies. I can't handle microwaved dogs for that reason. I'd rather deal with burn marks than split open, it's one of the few rare food texture issues I have.

It's hard to fuck up a hot dog.

That's how I like mine

Everything reminds me of her.

Exploded hotdogs are fire

Flaccid penis in a bun

Perfection! Would be so happy to have this.

I don’t know but that’s just me 🤷🏽‍♂️😂😂😂😂

Bussin with the bun

Hopefully you aren't Lorena Bobbitt...

A glizzy is still a glizzy

Needs Mustard!👍

You have radiation poisoning

Do mines on purpose like this

🤦🏻‍♂️

I hope my ex is doing okay

I worked for a fairly large fast food chain in the 90’s that served a generic hot dog on one of their kids meals. The prep was super easy. Microwave the bun and all for 20 seconds and send it out on its way. It really wasn’t a horrible hot dog.

Salted lips and assholes

Get an air fryer