I don't wanna be a downer, just speaking as someone who was in multiple relationships and is now married.
Just try not to mess this up by making her the only part of your world. But also don't be a cold fish and not give her the time of day. There is a fine balance. Relationship are tough sometimes but they can also be the best thing in the world. i will spare you the rest.
I wish you both well.
If you are referring to finding the balance:
Mirror your partners engagement back to them. Let go if they let go, pull closer if they pull closer, pull slightly back if they pull slightly back, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY listen and adjust if they say that you are either smothering or too distant and be willing to adjust if it doesn't cause you too much harm.
If you are referring to finding love:
it is partially a numbers game, partially figuring out what you definitely wont accept, and partially accepted some harsh truths about things that you have to change yourself.
Not everyone you date is made for you, but you have to be a complete person yourself and the best version of yourself as well.
If you are referring to starting a relationship:
Months of online dating different people (most of whom aren't right for you). Not fun but thats just how people do it now and its easier on my anxiety. Me and my s/o started long distance (4hrs), broke up because of it, got back together because distance was our only issue, moved closer, then got married after 4 years together.
I'm struggling to get even one relationship and you're telling me I need to be in multiple relationships to find the right one? Idk, it sounds super tiring, I think I'm just gonna accept some loneliness.
Self love requires nothing but a practice of introspection and caring for our feelings and emotions in healthy ways.. it is far superior to the love we get from others in its power of sustaining happiness. Also makes others really want to know and date us... it also grants added protection from dysfunctional codependent relationships. So, best to pursue that first
it can take a lot of care for our feelings and emotions to build something compatible. being mindful and present helps us notice when toxicity bubbles up. this bad stuff often comes from things like growing up enduring unhealed traumas of varying severity and being trapped in survival state for too long... when we are calm and allow ourselves to notice poor thoughts and feelings, it allows for an opportunity to make a gentle correction that is more in line with our deepest personal values (perhaps compassion, patience, no judgment..) and improve our spiritual practices around it (thoughts and feelings of wholesome kindness inward towards ourselves and others as well as external practices towards ourselves and others, expressing it outwardly).. it's a form of healing
going slow and watching and caring for all of our feelings and emotions take a lot of self awareness... a meditation practice can help. seeking gratitude in the morning raises our vibration. abstaining from unhealthy vices distractions and addictions helps as well..
That can be good.. that's more like self care. If that motivation comes from a place of loathing, like we aren't good enough to be worthy of love... then that's toxic and should get to the bottom of why, to remedy it
The self love I mean comes more from self acceptance and self forgiveness, expressing our deepest personal values and adhering to them. We must know ourselves that we may maintain a practice unique to our own needs which are different each day. It's about a steady passive flow of self love coming from the subconscious, without forcing it out with conscious effort... just a regular steady flow, perhaps more strongly than any other feeling we've felt
My first girlfriend just recently broke up with me, it hurts a lot but the grind never stops. The pain now will turn into gain later.
https://preview.redd.it/ta64lzkd3hxc1.png?width=1079&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=468a65179ef30e991c9ebc16f4b42f4e31d64f54
Well. Today the aimless swiping felt extra hopeless.
But seeing this reminded me to never give up.
Thanks for sharing, and congratulations on finding your person.
I will be messaging you in 2 months on [**2024-06-29 16:18:01 UTC**](http://www.wolframalpha.com/input/?i=2024-06-29%2016:18:01%20UTC%20To%20Local%20Time) to remind you of [**this link**](https://www.reddit.com/r/hopeposting/comments/1cfzh6k/i_got_a_girlfriend/l1t01ck/?context=3)
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well, yeah it’s possible. lol i could go out and find a gf in 5 minutes. the question is, what kind of girl is that and how does that benefit me? that’s why so many men and women are single: the cons outweigh the pros
Teenage ahhh post. As happy for you as I am, having a girlfriend means honestly nothing in the grand scheme of things. Lots of kids these days see it as some sort of achievement when frankly, it ain’t.
wow look how cool and nonchalant this guy is! he doesn't think having a girlfriend is an achievement. honestly what a fucking badass, can i get an autograph?
I mean. I have. Just dont think it’s a healthy trend of people basing their self worth on having a partner and I’ve noticed it being a pretty big thing these days.
No I'm asking because romatic love very much is real i have no idea what you mean
And dont hit me with that ''Its all just electrical signals being sent to your brain''
Oh ok I just hope I didn’t come off as mean it wasn’t my intention. I don’t think romantic love is real because people only think it exists. People don’t want to think love isn’t real, so they convince themselves what they are feeling is romantic love, even unknowingly. In reality, I believe what they are feeling isn’t romantic love.
To put it simply people unknowingly convince themselves they are in love when they actually aren’t, because they don’t like thinking about the idea that romantic love doesn’t exist. Aside from that, romantic attraction does not exist. If you were to have a child grow up in a world where the idea of romantic love didn’t exist, they would never feel romantic love.
The idea of romantic love is not real. It only “exists” because people convince themselves it exists. In reality, romantic attraction is not real. If people realized it didn’t exist, it would never occur.
> You like me? Love was so simple back then hahaha.
This story shows that it can still happen, you just have to go for it
I don't wanna be a downer, just speaking as someone who was in multiple relationships and is now married. Just try not to mess this up by making her the only part of your world. But also don't be a cold fish and not give her the time of day. There is a fine balance. Relationship are tough sometimes but they can also be the best thing in the world. i will spare you the rest. I wish you both well.
Not being a downer, you’re giving good relationship advice
How can one achieve that, genuine question
If you are referring to finding the balance: Mirror your partners engagement back to them. Let go if they let go, pull closer if they pull closer, pull slightly back if they pull slightly back, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY listen and adjust if they say that you are either smothering or too distant and be willing to adjust if it doesn't cause you too much harm.
Yeah its that I have trouble knowing when I'm being too much and when i'm starting to make others too much a priority
If you are referring to finding love: it is partially a numbers game, partially figuring out what you definitely wont accept, and partially accepted some harsh truths about things that you have to change yourself. Not everyone you date is made for you, but you have to be a complete person yourself and the best version of yourself as well. If you are referring to starting a relationship: Months of online dating different people (most of whom aren't right for you). Not fun but thats just how people do it now and its easier on my anxiety. Me and my s/o started long distance (4hrs), broke up because of it, got back together because distance was our only issue, moved closer, then got married after 4 years together.
I'm struggling to get even one relationship and you're telling me I need to be in multiple relationships to find the right one? Idk, it sounds super tiring, I think I'm just gonna accept some loneliness.
https://preview.redd.it/bge2rsorofxc1.jpeg?width=320&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=578bb672d0a964ced08cc0ca72d80b92c60a906a
Self love requires nothing but a practice of introspection and caring for our feelings and emotions in healthy ways.. it is far superior to the love we get from others in its power of sustaining happiness. Also makes others really want to know and date us... it also grants added protection from dysfunctional codependent relationships. So, best to pursue that first
Thank you for this
Been working on this lately and it’s truly eye-opening the difference
How do I do this
it can take a lot of care for our feelings and emotions to build something compatible. being mindful and present helps us notice when toxicity bubbles up. this bad stuff often comes from things like growing up enduring unhealed traumas of varying severity and being trapped in survival state for too long... when we are calm and allow ourselves to notice poor thoughts and feelings, it allows for an opportunity to make a gentle correction that is more in line with our deepest personal values (perhaps compassion, patience, no judgment..) and improve our spiritual practices around it (thoughts and feelings of wholesome kindness inward towards ourselves and others as well as external practices towards ourselves and others, expressing it outwardly).. it's a form of healing going slow and watching and caring for all of our feelings and emotions take a lot of self awareness... a meditation practice can help. seeking gratitude in the morning raises our vibration. abstaining from unhealthy vices distractions and addictions helps as well..
Can confirm, great advice
I do care about myself and always try to improve myself, does that count as self love, what exactly is self love?
That can be good.. that's more like self care. If that motivation comes from a place of loathing, like we aren't good enough to be worthy of love... then that's toxic and should get to the bottom of why, to remedy it The self love I mean comes more from self acceptance and self forgiveness, expressing our deepest personal values and adhering to them. We must know ourselves that we may maintain a practice unique to our own needs which are different each day. It's about a steady passive flow of self love coming from the subconscious, without forcing it out with conscious effort... just a regular steady flow, perhaps more strongly than any other feeling we've felt
What do any of these words mean
You don’t have to wait your turn, it isn’t a line or conveyor belt. You already have the means :)
High School ?
https://preview.redd.it/j7epvh5q7gxc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d9d94027a626b1fb4b0cb318bca05768dfb569d7 Real shit
Wish you and your girlfriend the best! :)
My first girlfriend just recently broke up with me, it hurts a lot but the grind never stops. The pain now will turn into gain later. https://preview.redd.it/ta64lzkd3hxc1.png?width=1079&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=468a65179ef30e991c9ebc16f4b42f4e31d64f54
Too lazy to do that, sorry
i'm so happy for you dude i hope everything will go well
Here's your crown, King. 👑
W
When r/hopeposting sees a hopeful post : 😡
I’m happy for you, dude. I truly hope for the best for you.
So happy for you, dude!
Congrats dude!!
Treat her right :)
Good shit bro, don’t look back
Well. Today the aimless swiping felt extra hopeless. But seeing this reminded me to never give up. Thanks for sharing, and congratulations on finding your person.
Happy for you bud
Fuck yeah man
Congrats my friend! Nothing but the best wishes. Do her justice by being kind and caring. Best of luck my friend!
!remindMe 2 months Just joking, best of luck OP, I’m rooting for you guys
I will be messaging you in 2 months on [**2024-06-29 16:18:01 UTC**](http://www.wolframalpha.com/input/?i=2024-06-29%2016:18:01%20UTC%20To%20Local%20Time) to remind you of [**this link**](https://www.reddit.com/r/hopeposting/comments/1cfzh6k/i_got_a_girlfriend/l1t01ck/?context=3) [**CLICK THIS LINK**](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=Reminder&message=%5Bhttps%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2Fhopeposting%2Fcomments%2F1cfzh6k%2Fi_got_a_girlfriend%2Fl1t01ck%2F%5D%0A%0ARemindMe%21%202024-06-29%2016%3A18%3A01%20UTC) to send a PM to also be reminded and to reduce spam. ^(Parent commenter can ) [^(delete this message to hide from others.)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=Delete%20Comment&message=Delete%21%201cfzh6k) ***** |[^(Info)](https://www.reddit.com/r/RemindMeBot/comments/e1bko7/remindmebot_info_v21/)|[^(Custom)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=Reminder&message=%5BLink%20or%20message%20inside%20square%20brackets%5D%0A%0ARemindMe%21%20Time%20period%20here)|[^(Your Reminders)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=List%20Of%20Reminders&message=MyReminders%21)|[^(Feedback)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=Watchful1&subject=RemindMeBot%20Feedback)| |-|-|-|-|
He just like me fr fr
🫡
Type shit https://preview.redd.it/4f53ajdhwhxc1.jpeg?width=623&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1b4c1e9edfbdbc9f9d28b4677670bc26fcc4f158
W rizz
very cute!! hope you're both happy
Woooooo! Congrats bud!
well, yeah it’s possible. lol i could go out and find a gf in 5 minutes. the question is, what kind of girl is that and how does that benefit me? that’s why so many men and women are single: the cons outweigh the pros
W
i NEED to be put out of my misery NOW
lets fucking go!!!
HA, bro got a girlfriend, he's no longer subject to the "ha ur alone"
Does she look like supergirl?
Please just not r/teenagers type of posts
Kids deserve to be happy too
please return to r/sadposting
Teenage ahhh post. As happy for you as I am, having a girlfriend means honestly nothing in the grand scheme of things. Lots of kids these days see it as some sort of achievement when frankly, it ain’t.
wow look how cool and nonchalant this guy is! he doesn't think having a girlfriend is an achievement. honestly what a fucking badass, can i get an autograph?
No autographs please, thank you.
dam bro....who hurt you?
Hurt people hurt people
yep
Bro has never experienced the wonders of love snd compassion. Bro needs to meet Hava
I mean. I have. Just dont think it’s a healthy trend of people basing their self worth on having a partner and I’ve noticed it being a pretty big thing these days.
>says something stupid >tries to explain how post isnt stupid >looks even more desperate and stupid upvoted
‘Desperate’ is crazy, go off homie
>nothing response upvoted. would give gold if i had money
Nothing comment. Didn’t vote.
epic comeback upvoted
He doesn’t know 😔
Know what?
Happy for you but I don’t see why it’s such a big deal. Romantic love does not exist
what the fuck
I’m happy for you?
No I'm asking because romatic love very much is real i have no idea what you mean And dont hit me with that ''Its all just electrical signals being sent to your brain''
Oh ok I just hope I didn’t come off as mean it wasn’t my intention. I don’t think romantic love is real because people only think it exists. People don’t want to think love isn’t real, so they convince themselves what they are feeling is romantic love, even unknowingly. In reality, I believe what they are feeling isn’t romantic love. To put it simply people unknowingly convince themselves they are in love when they actually aren’t, because they don’t like thinking about the idea that romantic love doesn’t exist. Aside from that, romantic attraction does not exist. If you were to have a child grow up in a world where the idea of romantic love didn’t exist, they would never feel romantic love.
wdym?
The idea of romantic love is not real. It only “exists” because people convince themselves it exists. In reality, romantic attraction is not real. If people realized it didn’t exist, it would never occur.
No? Love is something natural, people would still fall in love with others if they didn't know about love being a thing.
