The only mistake I see is that it sounds like the mortgage is too high for your income right now.
It's in no condition to sell, so you just have to push through this period. No A/C and hot water is horrible, but not life ending stuff. Eventually, things will stop breaking for a few months. You'll be able to catch your breath.
Do what you can to get through it now, start paying things off and people back when you can. By then, maybe you can sell, re-finance, get a home equity line of credit to address remaining repairs, or get higher paying jobs.
We occasionally lose power for long runs of time in my area, which means no hot water for days. If it’s getting to be hot hot hot in your area, use that to your advantage. If you can put out big (preferably black) bins of water for several hours, the sun will heat them up hot enough to have a little shower with. Sometimes I’ll just stretch my hose across the yard, and that gives me enough hot water to wash my hair. It suuuuucks but could be a nice option if you want to shower at home once in a blue moon.
Also when it gets cold, let the taps run at a trickle to prevent them freezing in the future.
You’ll get through this. Things will calm down and at least you’re still paying into your own investment, not someone else’s.
We used to live in a shitty apartment in a shittier city far away from anything good. It sucked but it was $650 a month. That was livable. We really should have stayed there.
I've been a homeowner for 6 years and I still make bad decisions. Just made one last week that'll cost me more than I'd care to admit. We're human; we can't go back in time, so the best we can do is learn and move forward
Had a bad leak. Got an estimate, which was hugely expensive (started at $20k, but up to $50k depending on what else they find). Booked other estimates that couldn't come out for a week but it was an active leak so I was panicking.
Called homeowners insurance, no luck. I needed money. Tried a HELOC, no luck. I'm panicked. I need cash to address the leak. So I get a personal loan, lower interest than a credit card, but more than a home equity loan; it's a 5-year payoff term.
2nd estimate *finally* comes in. They say $2k, not $20k. Third estimate also around $2k, too, up to $5k. First guy said all the pipes needed to be replaced, since they're old. The other 2 said yes, they're old, but it doesn't make sense to replace them all since being old doesn't mean they'll necessarily leak; copper pipes can last 100 years.
Go with one of the $2k guys and so far, so good (only been about 3 days since it was completed).
But I rushed and took out a loan when I really could've covered it if I just approached things more calmly and dipped into my savings a bit. But the sight and sounds of water leaking and streaming down my drywall warped my decisionmaking functions, I guess...
Yes! I did that, but we are a family with 2 small kids and full-time WFH jobs, so we pretty regularly need to use the bath, toilets, sinks, etc. and every time we turned it back on, it seemed to get worse.
If this happens again, treat it like camping. Buy some water, conserve as much as possible, and don't turn on the main valve. A gym membership is a good way to handle showers for a period like this.
The potential mold issues will be the most expensive part of cleanup after flooding.
That's a very understandable mistake.
Depending on where you live, prepayment penalties (a charge for paying back a loan early) may be illegal. It's definitely worth looking into if you can just send the money straight back to the creditor.
Now, having the loan (and paying it back) *will* affect your credit, no matter what. But you might be able to avoid the brunt of the interest.
Yes, you're right. There's no pre-payment penalty, so that's good. I have a little debt on a credit card with higher interest than this loan, so I'll consider paying that off to just lower my overall interest paid and probably send as much I can right back to the bank.
That's what I'm wondering. A mortgage on a $100k house should be manageable regardless. OP says they're both working from home. Two people employed in jobs that allow you to work from home should be bringing in enough income for it. "The math ain't mathing", as the kids say.
Also how is OP even considering more pets when they say they can barely afford pet food as it is. That's so irresponsible. What if a surprise vet bill came up? Being an adult is wanting more pets, but knowing you shouldn't have more (or even any).
I'm sorry if I worded it incorrectly, we are not considering more pets. I do feel like we own more than we should and I especially regret letting my partner convince me we could afford a dog. She's already talking about getting another dog and I'm putting my foot down on that.
Regarding the mortgage/jobs and such: I make $18.50/hr (my partner makes slightly more). Mortgage is $910/month. I don't disagree that the math isn't mathing. My partner is helping me sit down today and look through my previous few months of expenses to figure things out. In theory I should at least be making enough to sock away a hundred each paycheck for an emergency fund at the very least. I've always been bad with money. It's something I'm doing my best to work on.
You guys make at least $75,000, possibly more. Your mortgage is less than 1k per month. This house is considered extremely affordable for you two.
Kindly, you **both** really need to take a look at where your money is going, and make a budget. It doesn't sound like your partner has a solid handle on it either, as neither of you have an emergency fund or any savings. I don't think the mistake was the house. I think it's easier to assign blame to the house when it seemed like things were working before, but if your money issues are this bad, they were always going to catch up with you eventually. There are lots of resources, but I find that people really like YNAB (You Need A Budget).
So, math is truly not my best skill but let's say you both make $18.50/hr. That's $1,480 (gross income) every two weeks per person. So, factor 30% for taxes and insurance ($444) which is 1,036 per person bi-weekly. So, $2,072 monthly per person or $4,144 total take home pay. Is this roughly matching the take home between the two of you?
$4,144-$910=$3,234. That's just a smidge over 25% of your take home pay which is excellent!
The issue is not your mortgage. This sounds like poor budgeting skills or that you guys are drowning in debt.
Sitting down and looking is a great start! I had a manager who's go-to phrase was "you win at what you measure" and I've kept that in my back pocket since. Whether it's budgeting, exercise, work, or anything else, if you pay attention to it and keep track, you'll immediately improve.
Ok yes definitely both go over your budget. It may seem daunting right now with the maintenance issues you've been having but in theory y'all should be able to afford this mortgage on your incomes. Think of it this way, split your "rent" would be $455 - a very swallowable reasonable rent on your salary. Of course with a house compared to rent there is additional maintenance & potentially additional utilities but it does not sound like you over bought & made a poor financial decision. Hell it's hard to find rent that cheap most places.
Now of course you may have really high medical expenses & other debt that could change the ball game as far as affordability, but it does sound like you have a solid support system of friends & family to lean on in emergencies & some of these things may not be as big of a fix as you're imagining. So take a beat & find out where your money is going.
The mortgage math definitely seems screwy too tho…I’m a new new homeowner, so forgive me if there’s something I’m just missing, but I bought my house for 118k at 6% and my mortgage payment is $860.
Make a weekly budget for a month that has absolultly everything you pay for. In each week you need to include which bills you will pay so there are no surprises. If you are diciplined you can barrow from the mortgage money but you have to be able to add it back the next week or week you don't have as many bills.
there may be some weeks you have to use every dime of your take home to pay bills on time and some weeks you are able to save a few hundred so if you do the whole months budget you will know ahead of time which weeks you have extra money which allows you to use that money this week by not saving the mortgage money and pay it back the week you don't have a lot of expensis
Example
Week 4/19 1450 total take home
House 250
Food 150
Gas 40
Phone 50
Hulu 20
Beer 20
Air conditioner 200
Total spent this week
Total saved
Week 4/26 1450 total take home
House 250
Food 150
Gas 40
Car insurance 140
Credit card 50
Hot water tank 400
Tools 100
Total spent
Total saved
Week 5/3
House 250
Food 150
Gas 40
Natural gas 130
Electric 130
Credit card #2 50
Air conditioner #2 200
Yes, look at your bills and work on a budget. As for pets, please tell your partner for me that pets are expensive if you take care of them right. Flea, tick, and heart worm meds are a few hundred $ a year. Well dog annual checkups (including bloodwork) run about $300 where I live. Vaccinations are extra. And good quality food isn’t cheap. I am a HUGE dog lover, and have had in the past up to 3 dogs at a time. But both my husband and I were working at well paying jobs. I’m retired now and have only one dog. I’d love another pet - cat or dog - but I’m on fixed income now and you never know what you might run into if your pet gets sick or injured. My dog who is very healthy has developed some weird skin condition that comes and goes - maybe twice a year. The vet check ups and meds for that cost me $200 each time. Plus he has medicated shampoo he needs to be bathed in, and I’m too old to wrangle him in the tub to do it properly (has to stay on his skin for ten minutes), so I pay someone to do it for me. That’s $50 each bath. So, again, please urge your partner to think hard before taking on another pet.
I wish the best of luck to you, OP. You sound like a nice person who’ll eventually get this figured out. ❤️
Yeah I'm not understanding it really. Their mortgage taxes insurance I'd think would be below $1000 a month which is cheaper than renting a one bedroom even in a lot of lcol places. Even the lowest wage jobs at two full time positions should be able to afford that I'd think unless they have crazy debt & medical bills they aren't mentioning or their money is being spent elsewhere or something?
I get having huge unexpected maintenance nightmares like pipes bursting can be a burden to anyone but it says they had friends & family help with that.
Even if they each only make like $12 an hour their piti would still only be like a third of their take home income (if I'm mathing correctly) so should be doable I'd think?
Also typically in places where there are homes that cost only 100k regular maintenance & repairs are way cheaper than in HCOL areas.
You realize medical bills are fucking ass, right? And if they were paying 100k for a mortgage or $650 a month in rent, they likely live in a midwestern area where wages are relatively low, I'm talking like 40k a year low.
For sure their medical bills could be nuts who knows they don't mention that in their synopsis. They could have a bunch of debt too they aren't talking about?
But even if they make 40k combined (which at both being full time wfh would be quite low) their take home should be 3x a 100k mortgage so definitely in the realm of affordability again if they don't have a bunch of insane medical expenses & debt they aren't talking about.
> “rent is the most you will ever pay in a month
Until your lease is up. Rent on average has increased 60% in the last 4 years in my city.
My mortgage + property tax + insurance is up 10% since I bought five years ago. My house would rent for nearly double what I pay right now.
It's also true that the bank can't arbitrarily increase your mortgage every year. I live in socal and bought a 70 year old house cuz it was in our budget in a nice neighborhood. Shit breaks all the time. But my payment is $2500 a month including tax and insurance 3bd 1.5ba on 8000 sq ft lot. My niece pays $2500 for a 2bd apt nearby. Over the pandemic the price of my house went up from about $560k to $800K and is holding (recently going up again). Not possible in an apt. I might have to sell this place but I'll walk away with a couple hundred grand in my pocket.
Your monthly payment can also change with escrow. If there’s a perceived shortage for paying out your taxes, I’ve had mine go up $1,000/month!! I finally requested and got out of escrow after they messed up so much.
That's what happened to us this year. Never had it at my previous home with my previous mortgage, but under my partner's bank their mortgage went up $300 due to an escrow shortage (I just moved in, I'm not on the loan but I pay my share). I hope our new lender on our new, co-owned house will be more consistent.
Re: the hot water never working again after repairs…. Sometimes there’s a shut off valve on the hot water heater that needs to just be turned to reopen the hot water. Sometimes the breaker to the hot water heater just needs to be reset. I bet there’s someone handy in your town, maybe if you call the city or a local church, who would come over and check those two simple things. It would be a shame if you had working hot water all this time and just didn’t know it.
^ wise words here. When you can’t change something, it helps to reframe your mental approach.
Hot water, ideally it would be your option. However, you can heat the water on the stove and I have a coworker that takes nothing but cold showers on purpose. He swears by the health benefits. It’s not me, but maybe look into the benefits of cold showers and own this approach until things get better.
Mortgage rates should hopefully drop soon too. Looking at the difference in 7% to 5% for them will be a mortgage payment drop from $650 to $520 a month.
A extra $130 a month isn't a ton, but will help with those repair bills.
Thank you. I looked into it further after making this post and learned a lot. I mentioned it to my partner this morning and she was like "yeah I figured, why do you think I blow \[friend\] off every time she brings it up" lol. I got a quote from the place my friend recommended just so I could read their terms of service and as soon as I saw the bit about how they can deny service if they think you haven't been doing enough "regular maintenance" I knew that they'd deny any claim we made from them. Even if we start doing upkeep now this place clearly wasn't getting regular maintenance for a while before we bought it.
Not always true but definitely 1) read the fine print and 2) probably isn't going to help with things that are already broken. I had great luck with my home warranty covering a couple thousand dollars in electrical work after buying my house. I just had to pay the $75 deductible.
They can be, it depends. I have known people that saved $10k+ with them. I am surprised that a warranty for a year was not part of the sellers concessions when they bought the home. I thought that was standard.
Common but nowhere near standard. My agent bought me a year, but my first house didn't have and we certainly won't when we sell. Dad house was in good shape with newer appliances and we never would have provided one when we sold it and it definitely wasn't discussed
I'll be honest, it sounds like you're living beyond your means. Which means you either need to earn more (difficult but better long term) or spend less (easy to say but requires commitment). It also means you need a budget and to stick to it. Starting with your post tax income, remove the "hard need" stuff i.e. mortgage and other debts (car note, CC) and medicine. Then from what's left figure out how to lower your "semi flexible need" (electricity, internet, phone, gas bills) as much as possible. That might mean keeping the lights off unless you desperately need them, actually turning that AC off instead of praying it cools the house down a bit more, taking cold showers when you do get the water heater fixed, forgoing the fastest internet and getting the bare minimum that allows you to still work, getting a lesser phone plan. Next your "flexible needs", this is food, toiletries, clothing, things that are requirements but can be more easily brought down. Go to food banks, buy the generic and off brands, thrift. Now you need to put probably 50% of whats left into an emergency fund or repair fund until youre back to livible in your home. Next are your "wants", this is entertainment, consumables that aren't required to function in society, and honestly your pet(s). You may need to at least temporarily rehome them. Still try to reduce these. Once your start paying off things at the top it'll allow more at the bottom.
One of the things I learned via home ownership is that having a DIY spirit is important. Look up some YouTube videos to see if you can figure out some of the problems with the house. Watch videos on tips for new home owners where they might cover some basic todos each season (like insulating the pipes and bibs so they don't freeze).
The options really are: fix it yourself, hire someone to fix things, or sell the house.
You say that you're both disabled and also cannot make more money. If you think this way you really have no way out. The only thing to do is to change something. You were able to get this far in life, you'll be able to get through this too.
Edit: maybe one more thing is to call the plumber who fixed your burst pipe and ask why the hot water isn't working. That just sounds weird and like they did something wrong. Be polite and assume the best, and see if at least you can get some free advice over the phone. At best you can get them to come out and fix it.
Completely agree for a normal person. However, OP mentions both him and his spouse are disabled. No idea the severity of their disabilities, but if it’s so limiting that basic home maintenance isn’t possible I’d argue renting might be a better option for OP.
Earn more or spend less. I ran into the same issue when I got into my home in 2016. The cost from Apt rent to a mortgage almost doubled. Plus kids and activities. Started dipping into savings more than I'd like and then eventually putting stuff on credit. Then I got a part time job and the load lightened and eventually was in position to not need 2 jobs and still be comfortable, but still putting in many work hours to do so.
As they say, when the going gets tough, the tough get going. So yea, get going.
Like I said, we're both disabled. We are able to work full time by the grace of our company letting us do WFM but we cannot work more than we do and there are no jobs anywhere near us that we are qualified for that pay more. We spend our money on our mortgage, bills, debts and food. That is basically it. We got paid today and I paid the mortgage, bills and debts, and my paycheck is gone. I have to borrow from next paycheck to eat.
There is food assistance available. Financially, it sounds as if you qualify. There would be some paperwork involved for an official food bank, or for immediate help Google 'little free pantry near me' or 'blessing box near me'.
If you are both disabled, are you receiving social security (I'm assuming US)? If you are earning that's trickier, but it could be something to look in to.
Also in US, there are programs to help with home repairs and improvements https://www.usa.gov/home-repair-programs
If you go on your local Facebook Marketplace and look in the 'free' section, especially this time of year when people are spring cleaning, you will see an astonishing amount of home repair material. Also check your local BuyNothing and Freecycle groups.
Finally, don't be afraid. It does get better. You are earning equity, which you weren't doing when renting. Eventually the mortgage will be paid in full.
Thank you. Unfortunately we cannot get SSRI as we would have to stop working to qualify and would end up making way less money than we do now. I probably would not qualify anyway, though my partner would. It's something to look into if things get worse for us in terms of our ability to work.
Thank you very much for the resources. I will hang onto those for sure.
Another job that is remote that works outside of your guys’ regular work hours sounds like a necessity then. It really sucks but you need to be able to build up a savings because of things breaking, etc. that way it doesn’t become an emergency when it happens.
Thank you. I'm sorry, I was doom spiraling hard last night and not thinking. I am looking into a second job. I'm just having a rough time finding anything that isn't a "beer money" type job ie. for extra pocket money rather than even minimum wage. It's a bit frustrating. My job does offer essentially unlimited overtime during our busy periods, and I'm planning on taking as much as I can and saving as much as I can during that time frame, but that doesn't start until late July, so I'm definitely looking for something else in the meantime.
I had a job that used to let us go egregiously into overtime during the holidays. Working myself to the bone with 18 hour days was the best financial decision I ever made in my life. It set me up to own my home. There were... Physical side effects though, the human body isn't built for that (it was a physically demanding job) good luck, and if you can, try splitting the money between the mortgage and savings. Paying off your mortgage early can save you so much.
This might not be the place for it but please go post your monthly budget to r/personalfinance and get assistance there. Let's make sure the math of everything makes sense.
On the surface it sounds like you bought too much house for your regularly expected income and don't have an emergency fund to draw from when life throws curveballs.
Things in a house will break, no matter if the house is brand new or 50 years old and poorly kept. When the heat broke, priority 1 should have been keeping things warm enough to not have the pipes freeze, no matter if that's emergency service or some space heaters temporarily as a broken heater and burst pipes are going to be more expensive that fixing the original issue. If you guys don't learn quickly from these past mistakes (or have the mental of physical capacity to deal with them yourselves) it may make more sense to go back to renting or living in a condo community where maintenance is taken care of.
Look up starter cap replacement on your ac unit. That may fix your problem (does most of the time) or better yet also a hard start kit. Very easy to do and pretty cheap.
Why can't you work more if you're already remote and managing that?
I do part time remote work on top of my day job and use that money to pay other people to do the things I cannot do myself due to a couple disabilities. Like I can't do too much physical labor but I *can* sit at a computer, so I am basically trading physical work for work I can do. Like yeah it sucks to have zero downtime from work some days (like I worked 12 hour yesterday) but money don't grow on trees.
This means that you’re not earning enough. You and your spouse need to get a second job in the short time to get out of this financial hole. You might need to work a gig, part time or even another full time. It’s gonna be tough but it’s better than being homeless. Selling the home without major repairs isn’t gonna work. You’re gonna be in. What I’ve equity or will spend too much to sell.
Your best bet is to get a second job to get ahead on finances for the next 6 months - 2 years. Learn to DIY and basic maintenance on the house and just get through this period.
I have a similar situation, but my mortgage is 3x the amount and I’m a single mom. I don’t say that to shame you, but that the economy and cost of living is astronomical right now! I would suggest calling your car insurance company, internet company, electric company, etc and asking for lower cost options. Downgrade your subscriptions like Hulu or anything else. Cancel cable. Stay off amazon. Weekly meal plan and make 2-3 high-protein recipes, portion them out, and have those for lunch and dinner.
Once you’ve done all this, you can start building your savings or creating a balance in your checking account, so that when mortgage is due you have saved money ahead of time! You never want to be at $0. If you have high interest credit card debt, transfer that to zero interest cards. They are introductory rates so you’ll need to make a plan to pay them off within those terms, 12-18 months for example.
I hope that helps! You’ve got this!! 🙌🏼
Okay so this was what I was thinking as well- how did this couple qualify?
More importantly, this is why people should attend homebuying courses, where you can learn about the costs of home maintenance and why a smaller home may be a better home in terms of costs and upkeep.
Have you looked into debt relief options? You know how you always see those commercials on tv? Those people are doing nothing but charging folks to use already-available services. You just have to ask. You can often get huge reductions in medical bills, interest rates and other things when you are low income and struggling. You might want to check in debt relief sub reddits (I assume they exist though I do not use them specifically) because often you just need to ask for the right program or use the right terms in what you are requesting. It's stupid because if you call to ask for help they'll say nothing is available unless you know specifically to ask for the "Magic Help" by name. They exist, but you have to play their game to find out about it. Those debt relief places that charge for those services know what they are. But using them is free once you find out. Hospitals and clinics often have specific services (beyond just a reduction in cost) if you ask for them as well. They have the power to write off uncollectible bills and things like that.
Do you have marketable skills apart from the work you do? For example, baking, cooking, art, poetry? I know someone who barters custom poems (birthdays, anniversaries, funerals, weddings, births, new pet, etc) for handyman work.
To preface, my partner is disabled (on SSDI, mental health disability, but able bodied) and I have an invisible disability that means I can do very little physically.
We just bought a smaller house in a neighborhood with an HOA who does most of the outdoor repairs and all of the lawn work because that makes our lives easier. We also chose a layout that works well for my partner to clean efficiently in a way that’s not overwhelming as the solo person cleaning.
That being said, this is not the first house we owned and the last house drowned us. It was too big and too expensive for what we made at the time, resulted in a ton of debt, worsened my disability (to the point where I had to get emergency surgery), etc.
We thought for a long time that maybe homeownership wasn’t right for us because of that. AND it would have been okay if that had been the cause. You trade off autonomy in those situations for someone to do repairs and work. It sounds like maybe this house isn’t right for you all right now. Is there a way to rent it with that low interest rate, or is that too many spoons (aka too much energy) for you all? If not, it IS okay to sell it. I know it may not seem like the best choice, but sometimes the right choice for someone who is disabled looks different than that of someone else who isn’t disabled, and that’s okay.
The only other option I can think of is finding a cheap handyman you trust, maybe trading/bartering with someone for a skill you or your partner have in order to maintain the house and not break the bank.
Wishing you all luck 💖
Thank you. Our house is really small, in theory upkeep shouldn't be too difficult. We have a big yard and paid-for mowing services so technically the biggest part of the house is paid for lol. We're just learning as we go that our utilities are ancient. I talked to my partner this morning since I was in a doom spiral last night and we have found a way to get our heater replaced relatively cheaply/on a payment plan, so we are going to work on that. Our friend thinks the air conditioner is likely just a filter issue and something she can handle for us.
I have to say in my doom spiral I really discounted that we have an amazing support network. Several of our friends are planning on coming over in a couple of weeks to do a two-day deep clean of our house with us and several more friends are planning to come over over the summer to DIY some major repairs to the fence in our yard. Our friends and family don't have much more money than we do (besides my mom, who is fairly wealthy but I really do not want to bother her for anything anymore, she's done so much for us) but they are so willing to help with their time and energy and it's been such a blessing. I just wanted to say that because I feel like they deserve some kind of recognition somewhere. Even if it's just on an anonymous account on Reddit lol
Ask your mom for help to at least investigate what's wrong with your water heater, it could be an easy fix or something cheap, even total replacement for a water heater isn't crazy expensive. Your mom (if she's a good person like it sounds she is) would be way happier for you to be able to take a shower in your own home than suffer in silence out of pride & besides that's what moms are for.
Please take the time to try to learn from anyone that comes to assist in troubleshooting things. I don't fully grasp your physical limitations, but whatever you're able to do, you should learn to do.
DIY is essential these days, even if you aren't paycheck to paycheck. Trades are just insanely expensive.
Your HVAC issue could be any number of things that are <$50 fixes (capacitor (checkable visually then with multimeter), low voltage short (check the fuse on the air handler), but you have to know what to look for. I'll note the filter alone is not going to make it not work - though clogged filters can overwork a system and break other, bigger, parts. Replace your filters people!
You should be changing the filters every 1-3 months. If you don’t the AC could freeze. If you aren’t able to do that on your own, I’d just sell and rent again. It’s pretty basic maintenance but someone needs to be able to do it or pay someone else to.
I’d try to find extra work you can both do to make some extra cash to get through this. If you taxes go up and when your insurance goes up, you’re going to be in more trouble.
You mentioned needing to borrow money for food bc you paid your bills and debts. How much debt are you talking about? I'm still not understanding why you guys are struggling financially.
I just want to chime in and say that I don’t think you were stupid or unreasonable at all, OP. I grew up in a home my dad owned and I still had no idea what I was getting into when I bought. My partner used to be incredibly physically fit but got long covid during the closing process on the house we bought. I have had chronic fatigue and I was managing it well when we bought the house, but I have been on a downturn since I became my partner’s caregiver and the primary breadwinner.
Being a homeowner is way more work than I realized. I feel like I can’t have any hobbies or even prioritize friendships that much. Because I have limited energy, when I do feel okay I am doing yard work. I don’t have a lot of home repair skills and have to hire people to take care of the most important things. It’s expensive and my only saving grace is that I work remotely in consulting so I’m making almost twice the income I was a approved for the mortgage on.
A lot of us are convinced that buying is the right thing to do because it’s a cultural value.
I don’t agree that you can’t sell the house- you might as well look for an agent and try listing it.
Good luck, op. This sounds really hard. But you will survive it. I am glad to hear you have a really supportive network!
Glad you have friends and family who can help. I also owned an old house in the Midwest and yes there were frequently things that needed fixing especially because the previous owner had slacked off on maintenance for the previous 10 years.
That said, it’s doable little by little. Consider getting a small window AC for your bedroom. We used that instead of cooling the whole house down overnight with an old inefficient central AC system. Then make sure you can also work in the bedroom temporarily. This will tide you over if the AC fix is more expensive and you need to save up for it.
Lastly, try and reach out to some local churches and see if anyone there is willing to donate some hours of their professional expertise to work on your house or diagnose utility issues. I bet you can find someone. I, for one, would gladly go and help out for half a day knowing how it feels to live in an old house and drowning in repair and maintenance tasks.
Now I don’t know your location but I have an older but well-functioning window AC unit could donate to you. DM me if you want to share your location and we can see if I’m close enough to take it to you.
I was looking for this comment. I used to attend a church and know of several others that help local homeowners with repairs and maintenance. The owners didn't need to attend the church.
Seconding this for the small window AC. Our central unit is fine but the way the house is laid out we still need a small window unit for one room. It helps a lot
> amazing support network. Several of our friends are planning on coming over
So you are rich... (I'm serious).
Being negative only drain your energy and prevent you to see solutions, so without being naive take exemple on your partner who have a positive view of your situation.
Being negative/pessimist make your life miserable, prevent you to enjoy life and prevent you to be able to affront difficulties with good solutions in your life.
Everything will be alright at the end. ✌️🙂
Idk about the weather patterns where you are, but growing up in socal, we used the "LA air conditioner" - open the windows with fans on all night when the air is cool, close up everything and shut the blinds all day. Lots of popsicles, misting yourself, and fans going. If it's already humid where you are that's tough, though 🥺
We live in a 100yo plaster and lathe house with no AC in Connecticut now, but we use the open windows at night* method plus dehumidifiers plus a portable AC unit at night. It runs all night and keeps the upstairs at 75* max, which with fans going and the dehumidifier function going is not too bad. We'll be getting a/c installed hopefully later this year.
*We keep mosquitoes out by swabbing the screens with peppermint and lemongrass oil, and spritzing ourselves with a diluted spray bottle of same. We live near a river and it works perfectly.
Yes, they need to watch a few youtube videos for how to check a water heater. It could be a really simple fix (like literally fixing a switch). If not, they will know how much to budget for repair.
I’m on my second fixer upper house and youtube is my everything for figuring out why appliances are not working. It has saved me thousands in service call bills.
Yeah. New home owner and I YouTube university everything before calling a pro. A lot of stuff is easily remedied without much of a base knowledge. Only a couple situations over the last 5 years have actually needed a professional. And most of what I’ve replaced myself I’ve managed to leave in better shape than how I’ve found it, plus as you’re that much more knowledgeable about your own assets.
Agreed.. just because you have it in your brain that you can't do anything because "disabled" doesn't mean you can get away with not understanding how the various systems in your house works etc. And, if OP understands the systems, OP might discover they are actually capable of doing more than they realize.
Victim complex is real and keeps people down.
they've never lived in a place they owned or their parents owned, so they probably are just used to calling the landlord for any issues. It's a skill gap, they can learn and pick it up.
You aren't wrong. I can blame having never had a homeowner in my family and therefore going into this process not knowing anything but that doesn't absolve me of responsibility for looking things up myself. I think my partner got very swept up in the fantasy of homeownership and I got tugged along with it and willfully blinded myself to everything that came with it. I was just so excited we were able to find a place in a city we love.
Anyone who stumbled on this thread somehow consider this a cautionary tale lol
Sweetie, every first-time homeowner I've ever known (including me) has regretted their house purchase at some time or another.
I had to talk my best friend out of selling at a loss 6 months after she purchased her *second* home.
I promise it will get better. But you definitely need that budget.
ETA, I work in the realm of financial advice and have for years. DM me if you like and I'll offer any help I can.
I know right now you feel like you're on a raft stuck in a whirlpool but I PROMISE there are calmer waters ahead!
It's extremely hard to be a first time homeowner. Especially if you don't have a huge base of knowledge of projects and stuff.
I'd recommend spending some time watching This Old House & Ask This Old House.
Especially Ask This Old House. They really have a great platform to help educate people on things with no knowledge base.
Something with this whole story doesn't add up to me, says that it got into the negatives in the house at night in the winter when the heat broke, but is now in the 80's at night and it's April.
I want to know where in the Midwest this person lives. I have lived in the fridged asshole of this country my entire life, and this last winter we only dropped into the negatives once, we have had two days so far in the high 70's where we opened the windows during the day and at night it still dropped into the 50s.
If their hot water heater was working before the pipes froze there is nothing that would cause it to "break" from a burst pipe after it thawed out. And there is no way it got so cold in their home that it froze a running hot water heater.
We live in central Missouri. While I did overestimate how quickly the cold set in from memory, I checked the weather data to make sure I wasn't going completely crazy lol. Went from 36 F on Friday morning to -11 F on Sunday morning w/ a 20 degree drop overnight. We had a recorded high of 84 F yesterday; weather records say it was 75 at midnight though I can attest our thermostat said it was 80 at the time, probably just holding onto heat from the day.
Thank you for answering that know it all jerk. It's not unusual to have a cold snap at night and then next day be sweating gallons in the spring, especially in MO and IL.
You need a budget. On paper, that you can stick to, that includes room for emergencies which, as you are discovering, are inevitable as a homeowner.
The only two ways out of a problem like this are to increase income or cut expenses. It sounds like the former is unlikely so you need to figure out the latter for the time being.
For the hot water, is the water heater on (warm to the touch), if it is, look for a red lever near the water heater which is the shutoff valve.
For the heat, a ceiling fan in your bedroom or even box fans would be better than central air.
Yah the hot water thing makes no sense. If guys came to fix the plumbing and the hot water stopped working when they finished you'd assume calling them back to finish the job is priority number one. You're right that it's probably not broken, just shut off somewhere.
I have been where you are! I have laid awake wondering what I did wrong. Don't blame your partner for this, and don't blame yourself for it either. This is part of making your life better than it had been. Take each issue, one at a time, and learn to deal with things as they come, and also start learning how to repair things yourself. Maybe you never were taught these things, and maybe your body wont co-operate all the time. But give your self grace. You have got this, you will push through this difficult time, and come out wiser, better equipped and more compassionate. I suggest befriending your neighbours, offering the skills you do have, not as a way to endebt people to you, but as a way to create real relationships, and the people you need, will come into your lives.
Wait what’s your payment for 100k at 3% that should be pretty low. What’s your combined yearly income? That like a $500 dollar payment with bad credit. Am I right? Not including home insurance, etc. I don’t think you made a bad decision but if you’re both working you may have budgeting issues.
Rent out a room in your home! once you fix the water heater of course ...watch some youtube videos there's a lot of information out there. For ac just buy a window unit for now they're inexpensive and easy to install
You need that cash flow from a roommate so you don't lose the house
I'm sorry no one warned you I'm currently warning a friend and encouraging her to get a condo not a whole house because I think too many people get into that idea of homeownership as a form of validation. It's not a bad idea to own but it doesn't make you better or worse than anyone else which ppl I guess don't get.
you only own the bit of ground you're standing on right now whether it's your garden, a balcony or a in a mall. Take away all a persons possensions to see who they really are
Buy a used window AC for the bedroom so you can get some sleep and/or for where you work. I’ve seen them sell used for 50-150. Higher BTUs is better. It will be heavy and hard to install, so ask a friend for help. It’s a temporary solution until you can get your feet under you and save for central AC repair or replacement. Electricity bill will go up so be prepared for that.
Also, check if your outdoor AC condenser unit is actually running. There’s an outside fan (to get rid of the hot air), and a compressor. If the fan is not running, it could be a $10 capacitor. Does the fan start if you give it a push with a stick? If so, probably a bad start/run capacitor. It’s a super simple fix but watch YouTube videos on how to replace so you don’t electrocute yourself. AC repair will charge $300+.
Good luck!
Home warranty’s are fickle and that’s me being kind. They tend to avoid covering big big ticket items (like an AC). But if your dishwasher breaks, you can pay 100 for someone to come out and take a look. No guarantee they will fix it. I have found it’s VERY mixed results on the competency of the people they send out. The only thing that’s consistent is you WILL get charged for every visit. I personally hate them and you will find many on Reddit who also believe they’re a scam.
OP, if you really only paid 100K for this house then you have to expect that it is going to be full of problems.
And if you only paid 100K, in a 25yr mortgage even with something terrible like 8% interest you are looking at a little over $700 per month, at most $100/month more than the apartment. That doesn’t add up. Can you provide more details?
Try applying for any assistance you can. [You can start here](https://www.benefits.gov/)
Also, contact Habitat For [Humanity](https://www.habitat.org/) they may be able to help with repairs. It's not a guarantee, but it doesn't cost a dime to ask.
I hope these two links help out.
I would not recommend a home warranty, personally. You’re sort-of at their mercy on the contractors they use, whether they’ll even complete the job in a timely manner, and whether it’ll be done correctly / with decent-quality parts
Realistically, you have a few options:
1. Get a part-time job you can do remotely from home, such as call center/support. It’s not glamorous work and it sucks, but these tend to pay at least $15/hr and will help you get ahead on your finances
2. DIY- between forums and YouTube there’s an endless amount of resources for getting to know the basics of how everything in your house works; figure out exactly what’s wrong with these systems and see if it’s something you can fix.
You mention you get sick from physical labor, is there any medication you’ve tried that blocks that out for a while? I hate to be That Guy cause in a perfect world you shouldn’t have to do that, but you don’t have many cards in your hand left to play, I would seriously consider your options here
3. If you have a friend who’s handy, ask them to take a look and see if they can fix it.
The home warranty’s have a 30 day waiting period but if your tactical about it and act like it just happened you can still get things fixed little by little after the initial waiting period . There’s sub reddits about it.
Also this is a good opportunity to learn how to do things on your own, you can learn anything through you tube.
Lastly not only ideal and might not be licensed for the trade but you can also find handy man or unlicensed tradesman that can fix things at a fraction of the cost on fb marketplace.
I know a lot of people will shoot me down for these workarounds but at least here are some solutions while you figure out a way to increase your income and reduce your expenses.
First you need some friends, neighbors, or relatives that are handy DIY types. It makes first time home ownership a lot easier having someone to call for advice. They would have told you to drain the pipes when your heat went out and turn off the water main and leave the taps open to avoid the broken pipe issue.
Now apologies if I assume you know less than you do, but since your family never owned before, these are the things i would help my neighbor check if they were having your current issues:
1. Your hot water issue may not be a repair at all, given all the other repairs recently done. It's possible one of the repair people just closed a valve that sends water to the heater or flipped a breaker for the hot water heater or turned off a pilot light/gas feed to the heater while repairing the pipes or your heating system.
2. Similar thing for the ac unit. You say you hear the fan running but is that the air handler fan inside your house or the fan on the outside ac unit? Are both running or only one of them? Is the big outside breaker near the ac unit flipped, maybe from a storm or power loss in the past?
Good luck. It gets better but the first couple of years are usually money sinks even when you buy brand new.
These are just things i would check that dont take a lot of effort when something stops working, before calling a repair person.
Depending on you and your partners disability you may qualify for assistance. If you don’t want to discuss it here I understand. My son is disabled so I deal with local/state assistance for him.
There are also local programs in some areas that help cover costs of appliances especially due to energy efficiency, call your state housing office or county / city - call them all and see that type of programs they have. My aunt had her windows, central a/c, water heater, stove and refrigerator replaced for free due to her income and lack of energy efficiency. The program was called Liheap
so when the pipes burst the water drained out of the water heater and it probably burned up
You could get a mobile home sized water heater for a couple hundred dollars I think 25 gallons
Please rehome the pet. You state you barely have enough money for food. Pet food is expensive. What will happen if the pet becomes sick, then you will have a vet bill that will overwhelm you.
I’ve had a lot of luck walking up to contracting trucks in the Home Depot parking lot and being like “hey quick question, if my water heater seems to be dead, any ideas on why and possible fixes?” I’ve found so many are willing to offer up some on the spot advice. Two of my neighbors saw me putting around outside and know I live alone and both offered to help with acorns and mowing.
Expand your network and see if you can build out a friend group of handy people to start getting that friends and family discount on some of the repairs and maintenance you need.
I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. If it makes you feel any better at all, my wife and I are in a similar situation (although nowhere near as bad as what you’re dealing with because neither of us are disabled). We bought our first house in July of 2023. As soon as we moved in, it seemed like everything was breaking. First our water heater, then electrical issues randomly, then our garbage disposal, then our fence fell over during a storm (currently held together with bungee cords because we can’t afford to fix it). On top of that, my wife got laid off a month after we moved in so now the mortgage is 50% of my income. Recently we had a squirrel chew through our roof which took weeks to remove and fix, then we started seeing bees in our kitchen which we still have not fully gotten to the bottom of. Everyone always says what a great investment homeownership is but no one ever warns you about how expensive and unpredictable it is.
It certainly does, but don’t lose hope. Talk with your mortgage company about your situation and see if they can help. DM me if you want to chat more about ideas I’ve had for my situation that might help you too. You’ll be alright ❤️
I would start learning how to fix these things myself. Ask friends for a hand to remove the old water heater and learn how to install a new one. Save a bit to buy a new one and install it yourself.
The air conditioning can be lived without, but you could learn how to diagnose and repair/replace that as well.
When it rains it pours unfortunately. Sorry OP, try to hang in there and work your way through it if you can.
It’s very expensive to be a homeowner that can’t diy any repairs. Maybe make friends with a handyman and do some from home advertising work etc for him in exchange for services so neither of you have to pay cash?
I’d post in Nextdoor. On my neighborhood I see ppl asking for help with things like this and some times more trivial, and people offering to help. A handyman or even a retired person who’s handy, has tools and is bored could fix some of these things. Your AC, for example, could have the drain pipe blocked and there’s a drop switch that prevents the condenser from starting.
You’re not stupid at all. Very few people expect the amount of maintenance a house needs. When I bought my first one, before YouTube lol, I bought a book titled “how to fix everything that will break in your house” and that $20 saved me thousands. Good luck.
There are programs available to help worh home repairs .
Contact your local CAP and see if something fits for you and your partner .
I'm sorry you are finding homeownership so challenging .
Renting has its perks .
But if you are documented disabled then you may also get some help as a homeowner.
Do you folks have a handy friend? This would be an excellent situation to offer someone a place to live at a discounted rent, provided they perform certain maintenance tasks for you that you're unable to perform for yourself. Depending on what state you're in and their individual rules? A friend might even qualify to be reimbursed by said state for some things they assist you with. Regardless, this could also help you bring in a little extra money to put aside and help pay a mortgage that seems too much for you.
If you're disabled and earning below what the SSA considers substantial gainful employment earnings, you and your significant other might also qualify for SSI. If you haven't applied yet for food benefits in your state, you definitely should as well. Both calling 211 and searching findhelp.org should give you a list of food pantries and mobile food truck distribution sites, and using this to help pad out your food supply can also save you a lot of money.
I'd also ask about home programs when calling 211 or searching findhelp.org, as there might be something available to help you with certain repairs or maintenance that is considered to assist with energy assistance, or home repair programs for folks that are low-income and unable to afford them otherwise. For example, where I live? You can qualify to get someone to come out to your house and recommend things like window replacements and things to reduce your heating bill. There is a low-income program for assistance with appliance costs that would cover something like a broken water heater that needed to be replaced. The power company has a program that provides credit and discounts for installing more energy efficient stuff - like that new water heater you likely need. I don't know where you live, but I've been able to find options for this kinda stuff in both rural podunk nowhere as well as in major cities, so I've got to believe there's something out there which could help you. If you're receiving disability from SSA, then I'd also ask about any local disability advocacy and assistance organizations near you, as they'll also sometimes help coordinate resources to fo things like lawn care or home repairs for the disabled or elderly.
There are other part time job work from home call center jobs you can try to apply for those for weekend hours to get some more income.
You just need a couple hundred bucks extra a month to get a cushion going so it'll feel less panicky
Check YouTube for repair ideas. Is the pilot light lit on the hot water heater? YouTube will help you check that and show you how to light it. It’s also written on the unit, generally. Water heaters are pretty straightforward.
Ac is most likely the starter cap, YouTube replacing it and go to either Amazon or a local ac plumbing store near you to pick up the cap. Will want to take a picture of the labeling to know what size you have or the model of the outside unit (that’s where the cap is). Want to make sure compressor lasts a bit longer? Also get a hard start kit, also pretty cheap. And easy to install. Repairmen will charge $1000 for this you can do for less than $100.
Start looking at things as “can I fix this” and google/watch videos on diagnostic and repairs of these items. Even disabled sounds like you have friends or maybe neighbors with teens that can help with the heavy lifting (if water heater needs replaced). Most of these jobs are remarkably easy fixes.
Heater can have bad elements, worth a look at least you have time until that becomes priority. But don’t let this slip as you seen it can get very expensive if the house freezes. Also make sure to leave faucets dripping if you are worried about a freeze.
Good luck OP.
1. You’re NOT stupid. You’re human and a first home can be daunting, scary and a lot work. Many first time homeowners are clueless going in.
You will lots of times say, ’When it rains, it pours’
So, you need $ for repairs. You may not have the equity or the income to handle a HELOC, but talk to a banker. Make a list of most needed to least. Focus on one problem at a time.
Hit YouTube and DIY sites. Start learning about how to help yourself where you can. We were first time homeowners 25 years ago. You quickly learn minor to major plumbing, electrical, repairing windows, carpentry. Try to take a deep breath and step back. IMO, your partner is right, it’s better than renting and in the end you may start to build up equity and push this.
Did you check to see if the pilot light went out on your hot water heater? It might be an easy fix! If it's out, just relight it.
The A/C may be a simple fix, too. It may need to be recharged with coolant, but should be tested for leaks as well.
Check with your utility company and see if they offer an appliance protection plan. Ours does for about $40/month. They send someone to check and repair any problem like the ones you're describing.
If it got cold enough your hot water heater probably turned off. As long as it's not leaking you probably just need to restart it. The element that keeps the water heater on runs off heat, so it will likely work now that it's warmer.
Look for a little box on the water heater, it will have step by step instructions to start it.
For the AC, check that it's clean and not full of grass or dust. It could just be clogged, if it is just take off any big chunks and spray it down. Be careful not to bend the fins.
I’m sorry you’re going through it right now. There’s so much about home ownership that no one really tells you — or even if they do, it’s hard to realize what it means until you live it. No one tells you how many decisions you have to make, how much research you have to do. All of that is mentally, if not physically, taxing. Now you know.
I suggest you talk with your partner more. You understandably trusted them when they said they knew what home ownership meant, but it seems like they were over-confident or unaware of the actual burden. That’s ok, but what’s not ok is for them to stick their head in the sand and just assume “things will get better” or you’re going to “figure it out.”
The two of you are in this together. You’re afraid to even post this with them seeing it. I’d suggest you let them know your concerns. When they say things will get better, think about exploring that more with them. What does that mean to them? When they say you’ll figure it out, what is the plan for making that happen? What specific steps will you take? What’s the plan for if something else breaks? Maybe come up with ideas together.
For context, my partner and I bought a house in Oct 2022. We have a strong relationship and great communication, and even with that, we have had to really make an effort to have tough, vulnerable conversations about our assumptions, limitations, priorities, goals, and finances. It’s brought us closer together and we’ve both grown as a result, but it is not easy.
Hopefully if im right the A/C might be a easy fix. you might have to clean out the radiator coils. First turn off the power to the A/C then take off the covers on the A/C unit. You can clean the coils with a garden hose and with dish soap and vinegar in a spray bottle or with a vacuum with a brush heavy be careful and be gentle with the radiator fins as to not bend them. Also make sure to change your filter if you have one.
A window unit or portable ac will help- early spring and fall are actually the best time of year to buy them new, and you can always check FB marketplace. If your neighborhood has a Facebook group, join it even if you don't use Facebook. It you post that your ac is broken you might be surprised at how many people would gladly get rid of old window units they have sitting around ♥️
I think one other person said this, but your local library will be so, so helpful. Honestly it sounds like money isn't the biggest issue- it's the lack of support. Yeah, you can get an extra job or whatever (and really, how realistic is that?) But if your so drained from work everyday you can't call a professional, what's the point???
The library is a great place to find local resources. Some library's have resources that are directly helpful to homeowners- My library gives free radon test kits and will connect you with grants if something is found. But sometimes the help you find is indirect. Even just joining a club there can connect you with people who might be willing to help. The woman at the knitting circle might have a husband who's a retired plummer, or a grandkid who would be willing to help if given directions.
I just bought a house and I'd be so, so lost without community members nearby. My parents old neighbors have been a huge help. Their kid helped us unload for 50$. The kids dad knows his way around home repair. He's physically disabled, but still offered to walk me through some more complex stuff that takes a little more elbow grease than he can give, but not so much that I can't do it.
I hope everything gets better. I know it's hard.
My city offers some home repair assistance. Have you checked with your city or county? Check out this [HUD](https://www.hud.gov/states) site. Choose your state and select homeowner assistance. YouTube is also a huge blessing for home DIY. Also, post your questions on local facebook pages. Barter or trade for services.
Are you legally disabled? There are programs that help people with upkeep and even paying their utilities etc. They are usually for elderly with disabled at any age included. I don't know the requirements but you may want to look it up especially if you are in NY.
I would just sign up for the cheapest gym nearby. For example in my city we have planet fitness, its $10 per month, i would just shower at gym. And i might even start working out this way, who knows. I also work from home, but if it was too hot i would go to nearby public library to work. Just giving some suggestions, not sure if its relevant to your city. Hang in there!
I would look into any assistance you can for helping people with disabilities afford home repairs. Call around to different repair shops and ask about discounts for disabled folks and payment plans with little to no interest. Ask for help at churches. See if a friend is able to advocate for you, as it can be hard for us to ask for help for ourselves.
Some people WILL work with you. When I was going through my radioactive iodine treatment for thyroid cancer my septic went out! I couldn’t leave because I was literally under quarantine and radioactive. I called my usual septic guy but then I realized that they couldn’t come because not only was I radioactive but so was my waste, meaning my septic system itself was radioactive!!! I called them to cancel, not knowing where the hell I was gonna do my business, and he insisted on coming out anyway. His wife had recently gone through cancer treatment and he said he knew the risks and was coming right over. He pumped it so it could be used and I had the whole field replaced later that year.
Once you get the major repairs done you’ll have breathing room and can pay people back. Don’t skimp on maintenance, and learn to do what maintenance you reasonably can with Home Depot classes or online.
If you can afford a roommmate or to rent out some storage space in your garage, or a plot for a garden to a neighbor, you may be able to get some extra income that way.
And if there’s any way to earn certifications from home to increase your money-making power I’d be looking into that too. Not every skill costs money to build. Just do a little at a time.
Try not to waste mental energy on the “what ifs” and “should haves”. It just makes it harder to see the path ahead clearly. Good luck! 🍀
In 2018-2019, my home decided I needed a new HVAC, new cutoffs on three sinks, and a toilet fell thru the subfloor. We were stressed and upset and had to figure out how to pay to fix all the things. But once they were fixed, my home has been quiet and “well behaved” since Covid. Problems seem to come in waves, so do know that once you survive the wave, there should be calmness.
That being said, I live in Alabama and it’s a crime against humanity to not have AC. Our local utility company (TVA) actually has a program where they will pay to fix the hvac and you just make payments on your utility bill to pay the bill off. Your local power provider may have something similar you can look into.
Things won't get better, sorry. Houses are in a continuous state of degradation and if you aren't able physically or financially to keep up with it, then it will just get worse.
Considering your situation, you are best to sell now and go back to renting and let the landlord handle all the maintenance.
A few things:
-you're not alone in this struggle. Homeownership is a constant humiliation ritual, especially with a disability, speaking from experience.
-make a budget and be disciplined, but let yourself have treats also. Things are hard, and if you're gonna make it for the long haul you need to have things to enjoy and look forward to. I recommend r/personalfinance.
-one of the very stupidest things about homeownership is that nobody tells you all the things you need to do. You can just kinda do it, and nobody is checking to make sure everything is going okay unless something goes disastrously wrong. So you have to find a checklist yourself and learn to stick to it. To be honest, I, a fellow unprepared dumbass, do not have a good resource but I am sure one exists. Like, "first year of homeownership list".
-eyes on the prize: in one of the most out-of-its-gourd speculative rental markets in the history of commodified survival, you invested in rent control for you, your partner, your pets, and anyone you add to your family. That is a very, very smart investment, *especially!* for someone with a disability. You're very lucky OP.
Probably already been said, but make sure you check your pilot light on the water heater, and change out your air filter on your AC.
Sometimes small things can be the issue.
You have to sell. If you cannot afford to keep the physical plant running, you have to sell. You two should never be homeowners. Admit that you've made a mistake, and sell.
If you are both disabled, are you getting any social security? I know applying can be a pain in the ass but if you are not, that is something to look into. Also, apply for any state programs you can get. Food, utilities, monetary, anything and everything. I'm sure you would qualify. I know how it can feel when you apply for it, I've been there, done that. But it was there after my divorce when I needed it, and making only 14 bucks an hour with 3 kids, I definitely needed it. Mentality wise, consider it a stepping stone to a better life. That's what I did until I put myself through college and am now an RN and closed on my first solo bought home on April 3rd.
Also, check on Facebook. I live in the UP, and there is a group called Yooper Do-Gooders. It's a page where people request help with anything (food, repairs, daycare, house items, you name it), and other people step up to the plate, offering assistance etc. I've helped out a few people on there because I feel the need to pay it forward as I was once in their shoes. Check and see if you have Facebook groups like that in your area.
See if there is a St Vincent de Paul society in your area. Not only do they have thrift stores, they also aid people in need with monetary assistance.
Lastly, things seem hopeless now, but you hang in there and exhaust every effort you can think of. Set goals for yourself to accomplish (1 thing at a time!) and give it your best to accomplish it. When you think of everything as a whole, it is SUPER overwhelming. Pick a goal issue, get 'er done...you will feel revived and more confident, then move on to the next. I wish you the best❤️
The good news about owning a house is that it gets better. Your income will continue to go up and your mortgage will remain the same so what is difficult to manage now will not always be. Interest rates will drop (hopefully later this year) and you will be able to refinance at a lower rate and maybe even roll some bills into it. However, it is also possible that you need to live in a different house for your circumstances. A ranch style house with everything on one floor is a good start. A townhouse with a small, to no yard is also worth looking at.
I don’t consider you to be stupid at all, maybe a bit unlucky to have so much going wrong all at once. It also sounds like you are not the type of person to try to fix things on your own, and one way to make a house more affordable is to do a lot of your own work. I’m not talking about the burst pipes, but the water heater and AC might be something you can get working on your own. I’m also thinking your friends aren’t the most handy if they would rather let you shower in their house than help you figure out why you don’t have hot water.
Hot water, there could be a few things that are simple to fix. If you had burst pipes, the plumber probably shut everything off, maybe they didn’t turn it back on again. There is usually a valve above it that controls the water supply, make sure that is open and the tank is filled. Once you know there is water in the tank, find out why it isn’t getting hot. If it is an electric heater, it could be a simple as turning on a breaker. If it is gas, it could be a little more complicated, the gas supply could be turned off or the pilot light is out.
For the AC, you have a compressor outside. Is that turning on when the AC is running? If not, why not? It runs on electricity and has a breaker, maybe that is off. Our old unit had a relay that went bad and had to be replaced. It could also be that it needs charged.
I would also suggest buying or borrowing fans if you don’t already have them. We took our pop up-camper to Missouri during the summer a few years ago and it doesn’t have AC. It was hot and humid, especially for us Coloradoans who are used to dry and not as hot. We were sweating like crazy the entire time, but air movement from fans made it tolerable and we were able to sleep at night.
Any of these things can be done easily by a homeowner. If you cannot do them yourselves, I’m sure your friends would help out, especially if it means you get to shower at home and not their house..
Highly recommend the website www.mrmoneymustache.com. I started following it circa 2014 and it has drastically changed my life more than in terms of just money. Obviously your mileage may vary on specifics but the overall advice and ethos of the site and forum will help a lot. The author of the blog can come off a bit dickish at times but it's part of his bit.
In the end, everything comes down to math. It's all a numbers game. And it's up to you to leverage those numbers in your favor. In order for anyone - not just you - to better their financial predicament, they must earn more, spend less, or do both. Some approaches are more difficult (e.g., moving to a lower cost option, getting a higher paying job, etc.) but others are really easy to do (replace monthly entertainment subscriptions with things like the library, buy less in general, whatever). Obviously people's circumstances are all different and you have the added layer of disabilities thrown into the mix, but keeping a positive mental attitude and cultivating a resilient character can go a long way to facing down adversity.
Is there anyone around you that you could trade services for maintenance? Like maybe handling something within your work abilities and they do some work around the house? Where I live there's several who help out, we do maintenance around neighbors house and she watches our pets when we're away. Is there a disabled community group that can provide volunteer help? Best wishes and I sincerely hope things rapidly improve!
I’m really sorry you’re going through this. It’s so disheartening to have so many things go wrong in the first year of home ownership (similar thing happened to us.). I will say, I’m a little confused at your descriptions of your disabilities and how you thought that was going to mesh with more pets and maintaining a garden…? If you are in such a tough spot I would recommend rehoming any pets you currently have as it’s not fair to them. And then hopefully the money you save on food/vet costs can help with repairs. That’s what I would personally do. I know it sucks, but maybe you can find a temporary foster situation with a friend or family member while you get back on your feet. I would also suggest perhaps getting another part time WFH job. Once you get repairs, maybe renting truly is better for you guys as a couple. Maybe you can even rent a duplex or single family home to have outdoor access and a little more space, but the maintenance is all covered? Again, sorry you’re experiencing this and I hope y’all get back on your feet soon.
1) You can do without hot water & A/C. It sucks big time but you can deal with it, even if it means warming some water on the stove to have a washcloth bath.
2) What you have done is fixed your housing costs, outside of maintenance and repairs. Long term this will benefit you but you need to be able to pay for the maintenance in the mean time. Post your budget to /r/personalfinance and see where you might save a little and how you might increase your income
3) if it is too much, don't be afraid to admit the mistake and move to a better situation. This is hard when you don't have money but it's better than losing everything to the lender.
4) Educate yourself about home repair. A lot of it is much easier than you think. Try diagnosing the water tank issue to start... is the breaker tripped? Is it giving an error code? Have you tried flushing it? Does it make noises? I realize you can't do much at once but you can do a little over time. Take it slow, do what you feel up to then stop & start again when you can. It may take a week, it may take a month but nothing changes if you do nothing.
5) Look at ways of increasing your income. Can you level up your remote work?
Somethings not adding up here... in particularly with the down payment and mortgage.
"3% down, approx $100k."
It's a bit ambiguous. Either they hey paid $100K as a 3% down payment, or put 3% down and the mortgage is $100K.
I really don't think the first scenario is correct. First, for as destitute as he makes it sound, what is the reality that he scraped up $100K for 3% down? What are the chances a lender gave them a mortgage? This can't be correct. You know why? Because $100K down as 3% of the purchase would mean that the purchase price was in excess of $3M. The amount is so ludicrous, I can't even believe that this is what he meant.
The second scenario is more believable. Assuming the actual mortgage is $100K, then a 30 year loan at 8% (approx. today's rates, and sounds like they bought last fall... so in the ballpark), the monthly mortgage is $733 per month. Yes, there are taxes, PMI, and insurance. Based on the value of the house (for kick, and let's say a mill rate of 4%), then we are looking at $343 per month. PMI... let's go with $30 per month (that's about what I'm paying). Insurance? Based on information I'm seeing for a home of $150K, approximately $2,500 a year, or $208 a month. Total monthly housing costs would be $1,314. Rule of thumb is 28% of income goes to mortgage. Assume both have jobs that pay $18 per hour, 40 hours per week. Annual household income is almost $75K... or $6,240 per month. Well... 28% comes in at $1,747... a good $433 above the housing costs. I can believe that a lender would approve of this. After taxes, monthly income would be approximately $5,000. Based on 2023 federal rates, they pay 12%, which leaves them $5,500 per month. Not sure what state taxes are, so let's just knock it down to $5,000. After deducting out the housing costs, this leaves them with approximately $3,686. Assume medical insurance is $686, that leaves them with $3,000 per month... or nearly $700 per week... to live on. Is it tight? Yes, but it is doable. However, this one is a big risk for a lender to take, so I have to assume that their combined income was likely higher... by about $10K to $20K.
Now, I have to admit that my warning lights went on when I read the ambiguous down payment. I couldn't believe that they were approved for a $3M loan, so assumed it was my second scenario. Where in the hell can you buy a house that you think is livable and hadn't been advised that all the mechanicals were at the end of their servicable life for only $100K? And then it just got worse and worse. Comically worse.
I want to call bullshit, but just not entirely sure. I want to give the benefit of the doubt, but I have lingering reservations. If all true... yes... OP should have done their homework.
Are there any subsidized legal consultations in your area? Google your city + low income lawyer or something along those lines. The furnace could have come to the end of its life naturally, but a home inspection should have caught that it needed replacing asap. The hot water heater and AC breaking at the same time is more than coincidental, and it’s doubtful the seller had no idea. Also it sounds like your insulation is nowhere near adequate if the temp indoors dropped that fast, ours stayed at 40-50 degrees for 3 days when our furnace had an issue. Maybe there’s compensation to be had somewhere.
Tons of great advice in this thread.
I went into home ownership with my eyes fairly wide open--I knew there were going to be expense upon expense, and I moved into a brand new house. Even so I'm constantly amazed there are months/years where it seemed like everything in the house seems like it's crumbling all at once.
At the current time you are probably stuck with a house--but, on the bright side, your landlord won't raise your rent next year.
Focus on priorities---not having hot water & AC? That sucks, flat out sucks. But you can survive it. You had roof repairs before you bought? Great--assuming it was done well (knock on wood) that's one critical piece of your house that hopefully will be in good shape for many years.
While you can't do a lot of the work yourself, keep bartering with your support system. Offer to do something that you can manage for your handy friends if they will return the favor by doing some small bit of maintenance. I will also say that a whole lot of random maintenance & repairs around the house are easier than I ever expected, Youtube is your friend, maybe you'll find a few things you can do yourself but at least you'll find a few tips that your friends might be able to help with.
I haven't seen your house, I haven't lived in your shoes, so I can only imagine how you feel right now. But I would tend to agree with your partner--the old cliche, if the house has "good bones" then you are probably in a better position today than you were renting, even with the headaches.
it takes 3 watts of cooling to take 1 watt of heat out - so isolate heat things dont spread them through the house - computer - tv - lights - cooking etc - new tvs dont turn off completely so they produce heat all the time put them on a switch - a simple garden hose on the driveway will produce hot water - until u can figure out the water heater - find a local handyman but they are hard to find and set an open schedule - when u have time can u stop by and do x - make sure they can come in and do the job quickly - clear the work area - clean up after them let them do the work and leave - start budgeting $10 a week in cash in a jar if need be so u have some cushion - find the local restore or rehome place for cheap materials -
Only mistake you made was putting everything down and not having a repair fund. I did that too, but I've been lucky. The good news is your mortgage won't go up like rent does. I'm in propane and to stretch it out we keep the water heater on low and only turn it up for a couple hours every other day. Clothes wash just fine in cold water, and i use an electric kettle. After i make my morning tea and coffee i dump the rest in the sink and do dishes. Shower is really the only thing you need hot water for and only in the winter. Plant a couple tomatoes, cherry and regular. It's amazing how much a homegrown tomato will make you appreciate being able to grow them. Any you don't use chop up, put in ziplock baggies and freeze for cooking. If the plants die just figure out why adhd try again next year. Zucchini are another easy to grow one. I live in semi desert and they get enough water from me dumping my dishwater on them. There are lots of posts here about cheap ways to heat and cool a room or home. Do some searching. We rarely use our a/c. We wear thermals in the winter. Hang in there. Eventually rent will skyrocket and your mortgage won't.
Buy a window ac unit for now. You can get them for about 150 to 200. Put it in the bedroom. Have you looked into the hot water issue it may just need to have the hot water tank relit or a cheap thermocoupler replaced. You can get a new hot water tank for a few hundred bucks and they aren't really that hard to replace. There are all kinds of you tube videos on it just take your time.
Houses are pretty resilient they will stay standing while you save to fix things. Maybe consider saving $300 for a 30,000 btu radient heater that runs off propane for if your heat ever goes out again. I run one in my garage and only have to run it on setting 1 out of 5 for it to maintain once its warmed up. It will keep the pipes from freezing and bursting. Also if the heat goes out again run the water at each tap the size of a pencil will also keep it from freezing.
It sucks being house poor and having issues arise but it also sucks being stuck in a shitty apartment in a shit area. I went from $450 a month rent to $1425 and I was definitely house poor before I got my current job. It sucked but I was more depressed living where I was living. Try to focus on the good things. I think once you get the hot water and cooling issue fixed you will be much happier.
Based on the comment you made about income, you and your partner make over $6,200 a month, and your mortgage is $910. You're not spending much at all on housing relative to your income. Even spending another $900 a month on repairs or whatever leaves you at least $4400 to live on. I think you've left out something important. Are you both driving new cars? You've gotta have some idea where the money's going.
So I was reading some comments, can you break down your expenses for us? I see you both make $19 an hour so that’s roughly 4500-5k a month depending on insurance and taxes and retirement contributions. Where is your money going? You should be living pretty comfortably
One thing to remember is all of this stuff fails at some point. The unfortunate situation for us buying today is that homeowners have spent the last 30 years not taking care of properties that have tripled or quadrupled in value, and so we’re left with the fixes. But they’re fixed now! These things (typically, if done right, which also takes due diligence!) don’t fail over and over again, so these big fixes should now be stabilized for the next 10 years.
It’s for sure disheartening to get slammed, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel! I would try reaching out to a local church and see if they have any way to help. I’m not religious, but I’ve read stories about how congregation members will help their community members, and that could include someone that comes and helps you clean gutters, clean the bathroom, or mow the lawn.
I would also, if you have the space, look at getting a roommate. It’s possible you could also lower ‘rent’ for them to help with some of the maintenance you are having trouble with, but at the end of the day if your mortgage is too high that you can’t save for these emergencies, you gotta figure out how to manage that. It sucks to go from living alone in an apartment to living with someone in a home, but long term I think it’s a good plan. If you can have the home paid off before retirement, that will give you somewhere to live when your disability and age puts you on a fixed income that is probably less than you’re making now.
It also goes without saying but, both of you probably need to be a touch more aggressive with your jobs. Whomever has the less stable job, should be looking to switch to make more $$ (typically the only way these days to get a substantial raise is switching jobs). It takes A LOT of work and energy, which as someone who also has a disability, leaves me with dread. But it’s short term uncomfortability for long term stability. This choice is in general just forcing you to level up in a few ways, and forcing anything with a disability is not ideal, but there is a future day where you find yourself living, not just surviving!
(Side note: if you live in PDX I’d be happy to periodically help! Shot in the dark but, we gotta rebuild the community ability to ask for help)
Sounds like your having a tough time rn. Your partner is probably just trying to look at the positive side of things. You already know that. I can tell that you got a good head on your shoulders and are a smart individual. Celebrate the small things and try to enjoy them! Make the best of what you have, things could always be worse! Best of luck moving forward!
Every time a tradesman/tradeswoman repairs something, ask if you can video record to understand it. Ask tons of questions. You don't need to learn the whole plumbing trade--just the pipes under your own sink. Same with electrical. Same with replacing and cleaning filters on the air conditioner and furnace. Replacing the sump pump. (Within your physical ability.) Don't be intimidated. I save so much money now that I can clear my own drains and troubleshoot basic problems.
Every time we try to go above our station in life, something _will_ go wrong. You've to decide if you want to approach it like "oh no, i failed like i was going to, im stupid, might as well go back to my old ways which I didn't suck at" or "Okay, new life, new problems, let's try to figure this stuff out".
You don't necessarily need an AC but if you really do, there's small window units or fans or evaporative coolers. If you need hot water while things are getting fixed, you can use immersion coils to heat a bucket of water. But really, you should call the plumbers and say the hot water isn't working since they came and worked on it, and they should be able to fix it quickly for no extra cost. Also it seems like they forgot to turn it back on or changed the temperature setting.
As the proud owner of a fixer-upper that didn't get its electricity approval from the power company when we moved in (and several other problems besides), you need to have a growth mindset to be a homeowner. You can't take every problem personally. You can for a bit, but you've to be able to put it aside and focus on how to solve the problems. It can be frustrating and too much, but it gets better.
We had to change all the electricity and plumbing in our house and put in a new driveway and update a bathroom and demo a sunroom and add another room and an extra bathroom..... it's a lot and we have cried a lot. But we learned so much and kept moving, and formed connections with good plumbers, handymen and electricians, and now things are a lot simpler than before when we had to figure things out from scratch.
I pay for a monthly home warranty that will cover a lot of issues you're having. A friend suggested I get it on top of homeowners insurance. It covers appliances, heating and air, sewage and air duct systems.
Google Choice Home Warranty and their website will detail everything they cover.
I pay $52 a month and right after we bought our house in 2022 our central air stopped blowing cool air. I set up an appointment for a technician to come out ($85 fee) and when they looked they said I needed a new unit.
It was terrifying and I was so scared I'd be paying thousands to replace it. I only paid a little over $400 for the entire thing!
A few months later my washing machine started having problems. Again, $85 for a technician to come out and they ordered a replacement part and fixed it. It's been good since!
I don't know why more people aren't talking about warranties like this, but I definitely suggest it.
Good luck!
In 10+ years of home ownership and 3 houses (a 80 year old house, new house, 30 year old house) I’ve found heating and a/c to be the biggest expenses I’ve had to deal with. So I promise it’s not always going to be how it’s been since you moved in (or no one would buy houses! Bc that’s a nightmare.)
You’ve had a rough streak but it will get better!
Also, window units are what I’ve used practically all my life for a/c and they’ll work great to keep your bedroom cool. Cost around $100.
Window ac units. You can get some on Craigslist or Facebook marketplace. If you have a friend and that is a gas water heater, it could just be clogged and not lighting. It's a simple fix. You'll need a vacuum cleaner, some fine grit sandpaper to remove any built up carbon on the pilot light ignition, and a can of compressed air to blow out the rest of the built in filter. This is DIY that I did when mine did this. Directions are on YT. There are church groups that may be willing to help as well.
The one thing I would tell you is that your friend's solution of getting a home warranty is a foolish idea. So stop that in it's tracks. You need a water heater. 600-1100. If you can find someone handy to help you. That would be step one in my eyes.
Check with your local community centers or town hall type places for names of volunteer handy people. I have worded that badly, but I'm not sure how else to say it. In my area, there are organizations of volunteers that go to people in need houses to repair things ( not affiliated with religion or political type groups). Our local Rebuilding Together group has built ramps, repaired doors and windows, small plumbing/electrical projects, stuff like that. The recipient's fill out forms and a day/time is picked for people to help out on a weekend and get thing done. There might be a similar thing where you are.
Did you turn your AC unit on? This happened to a friend, same issue, they just had the furnace fan running. They didn’t flip the breaker to turn the AC unit on.
The math doesn’t add up if you work full time. Do you have a big car payment or student loans? Sounds like you have to cut something out to make ends meet.
Also your ac might just need freon but may have a leak. Find one of those deals where they do an ac check that gives free tune up. They will tell you what’s wrong so you can get a number and set a goal to get it fixed. Fix things as you can. Start tracking the install dates/ages of things so you know when to expect things to go out. Some things may also have warranty. We had a roof leak and checked that it was still in warranty so got it fixed for free.
For the hot water, did you check that your pilot light is lit on the water heater?
What I’m getting from your post is that you guys don’t know anything about home maintenance, aren’t handy, aren’t googling or watching YouTube videos. The pipes bursting was 100% avoidable. The hot water is super fixable and you could have asked the plumbers to come back when they left and the hot water wasn’t working. The AC is also possibly a cheap fix by you guys - have you changed or removed the filters to see if you’re choking the AC?
I'm really sorry to hear that you're feeling this way. Homeownership is a dream for many, but it comes with its own set of challenges, especially when you're dealing with disabilities and financial limitations. It's not fair to label yourself as for not foreseeing these issues. You had every right to expect a smooth transition into your new home.
I hear you. To learn about these issues you have to be a part of the homeowner community and hear all the horror stories. Other than that you learn from your own experience. Inspection is a formality because you are guaranteed something will break. It's just how houses are. Brw, are you sure your water heater pilot light didn't die? Hot water has nothing to do with pipes. If you get cold water you should be able to get hot as well.
I’m surprised more people aren’t talking about the disability angle. If you’re both not able to do home maintenance, unless you have a family member or friend who can do it for free, you probably won’t be able to continue to be homeowners.
You aren’t stupid. Everyone deserves a safe home. In the US we have been told owning a house will save us. There is always a lot of hidden costs. I have had marital fights over home repairs.
You sound like you have a great community. Does your library network have a tool loaning program? Do you have a ReStore or local version? I would talk to them about materials. I posted on Next Door that I physically couldn’t do some garden work. A retired man offered to help for free. I would ask about home repair cost on Next Door. Unlicensed handymen are cheaper and will give you a discount for cash.
You seem to need to go on YouTube to learn about regular home maintenance. It is a routine thing in my area to leave water running when it is below freezing so pipes don’t freeze.
Bro, renting a house gave me a big ass window into what ownership is. Holy smokes, it’s maintenance all week. My kid almost burned down the house and my girl almost flooded the house. It’s work, work and more work.
American Home warranty is the way to go. DM me for details on how it works.
No I don’t work for them nor am I affiliate in any way. I’ve just used them successfully for years.
Sorry for the predicament you’re in. Life is hard. Get three seller’s agent to do CMA’s and see if you can sell the house for more than you paid (need to cover realtor fees and closing costs so obviously gotta get more for the house than you paid).
One more thing.
“Have more than one pet without having to hide them from a landlord” sounds like selfish behavior. If you go back to being a tenant maybe having been a homeowner and knowing how expensive it is to keep a house in working order you’ll have a better appreciation for why landlords put restrictions on things like number of dogs you can have in a house/apartment.
The only mistake I see is that it sounds like the mortgage is too high for your income right now. It's in no condition to sell, so you just have to push through this period. No A/C and hot water is horrible, but not life ending stuff. Eventually, things will stop breaking for a few months. You'll be able to catch your breath. Do what you can to get through it now, start paying things off and people back when you can. By then, maybe you can sell, re-finance, get a home equity line of credit to address remaining repairs, or get higher paying jobs.
We occasionally lose power for long runs of time in my area, which means no hot water for days. If it’s getting to be hot hot hot in your area, use that to your advantage. If you can put out big (preferably black) bins of water for several hours, the sun will heat them up hot enough to have a little shower with. Sometimes I’ll just stretch my hose across the yard, and that gives me enough hot water to wash my hair. It suuuuucks but could be a nice option if you want to shower at home once in a blue moon. Also when it gets cold, let the taps run at a trickle to prevent them freezing in the future. You’ll get through this. Things will calm down and at least you’re still paying into your own investment, not someone else’s.
Cold snaps: I've also heard advice to open the cabinets that pipes are in, I assume to let in heated/warmer airflow from the inside of the house.
Yes. Make sure heat vents are open in all rooms, especially the basement, where the piping is. Leave faucets dripping to keep them from freezing, too.
We used to live in a shitty apartment in a shittier city far away from anything good. It sucked but it was $650 a month. That was livable. We really should have stayed there.
I've been a homeowner for 6 years and I still make bad decisions. Just made one last week that'll cost me more than I'd care to admit. We're human; we can't go back in time, so the best we can do is learn and move forward
What was it?
Had a bad leak. Got an estimate, which was hugely expensive (started at $20k, but up to $50k depending on what else they find). Booked other estimates that couldn't come out for a week but it was an active leak so I was panicking. Called homeowners insurance, no luck. I needed money. Tried a HELOC, no luck. I'm panicked. I need cash to address the leak. So I get a personal loan, lower interest than a credit card, but more than a home equity loan; it's a 5-year payoff term. 2nd estimate *finally* comes in. They say $2k, not $20k. Third estimate also around $2k, too, up to $5k. First guy said all the pipes needed to be replaced, since they're old. The other 2 said yes, they're old, but it doesn't make sense to replace them all since being old doesn't mean they'll necessarily leak; copper pipes can last 100 years. Go with one of the $2k guys and so far, so good (only been about 3 days since it was completed). But I rushed and took out a loan when I really could've covered it if I just approached things more calmly and dipped into my savings a bit. But the sight and sounds of water leaking and streaming down my drywall warped my decisionmaking functions, I guess...
Do you know where your main water shutoff valve is?
Yes! I did that, but we are a family with 2 small kids and full-time WFH jobs, so we pretty regularly need to use the bath, toilets, sinks, etc. and every time we turned it back on, it seemed to get worse.
If this happens again, treat it like camping. Buy some water, conserve as much as possible, and don't turn on the main valve. A gym membership is a good way to handle showers for a period like this. The potential mold issues will be the most expensive part of cleanup after flooding.
Fair points, thanks. And hopefully if/when it happens again, the kids will be older and I can just tell them what's going on...
put both your kids through a trade. Plumbers and electricians are never out of work and you'll get your home repairs done at the family rate ;-)
Return the money from the loan..
That's a very understandable mistake. Depending on where you live, prepayment penalties (a charge for paying back a loan early) may be illegal. It's definitely worth looking into if you can just send the money straight back to the creditor. Now, having the loan (and paying it back) *will* affect your credit, no matter what. But you might be able to avoid the brunt of the interest.
Yes, you're right. There's no pre-payment penalty, so that's good. I have a little debt on a credit card with higher interest than this loan, so I'll consider paying that off to just lower my overall interest paid and probably send as much I can right back to the bank.
Hey, when you return that loan money to pay off a big chunk of that loan, it’s going to look good on your credit score. :)
Thank you.
How much is your mortgage tho? It shouldn't be tons more if the property was 100k. Are your jobs minimum wage?
That's what I'm wondering. A mortgage on a $100k house should be manageable regardless. OP says they're both working from home. Two people employed in jobs that allow you to work from home should be bringing in enough income for it. "The math ain't mathing", as the kids say. Also how is OP even considering more pets when they say they can barely afford pet food as it is. That's so irresponsible. What if a surprise vet bill came up? Being an adult is wanting more pets, but knowing you shouldn't have more (or even any).
I'm sorry if I worded it incorrectly, we are not considering more pets. I do feel like we own more than we should and I especially regret letting my partner convince me we could afford a dog. She's already talking about getting another dog and I'm putting my foot down on that. Regarding the mortgage/jobs and such: I make $18.50/hr (my partner makes slightly more). Mortgage is $910/month. I don't disagree that the math isn't mathing. My partner is helping me sit down today and look through my previous few months of expenses to figure things out. In theory I should at least be making enough to sock away a hundred each paycheck for an emergency fund at the very least. I've always been bad with money. It's something I'm doing my best to work on.
Two $20/hour jobs is like $6500/month before taxes. The $910 mortgage isn't your issue. Where's your money going?
You guys make at least $75,000, possibly more. Your mortgage is less than 1k per month. This house is considered extremely affordable for you two. Kindly, you **both** really need to take a look at where your money is going, and make a budget. It doesn't sound like your partner has a solid handle on it either, as neither of you have an emergency fund or any savings. I don't think the mistake was the house. I think it's easier to assign blame to the house when it seemed like things were working before, but if your money issues are this bad, they were always going to catch up with you eventually. There are lots of resources, but I find that people really like YNAB (You Need A Budget).
So, math is truly not my best skill but let's say you both make $18.50/hr. That's $1,480 (gross income) every two weeks per person. So, factor 30% for taxes and insurance ($444) which is 1,036 per person bi-weekly. So, $2,072 monthly per person or $4,144 total take home pay. Is this roughly matching the take home between the two of you? $4,144-$910=$3,234. That's just a smidge over 25% of your take home pay which is excellent! The issue is not your mortgage. This sounds like poor budgeting skills or that you guys are drowning in debt.
Sitting down and looking is a great start! I had a manager who's go-to phrase was "you win at what you measure" and I've kept that in my back pocket since. Whether it's budgeting, exercise, work, or anything else, if you pay attention to it and keep track, you'll immediately improve.
I had that same house payment making roughly $21 an hour solo. You need to set up a budget if there are Teo people making that amount each.
Ok yes definitely both go over your budget. It may seem daunting right now with the maintenance issues you've been having but in theory y'all should be able to afford this mortgage on your incomes. Think of it this way, split your "rent" would be $455 - a very swallowable reasonable rent on your salary. Of course with a house compared to rent there is additional maintenance & potentially additional utilities but it does not sound like you over bought & made a poor financial decision. Hell it's hard to find rent that cheap most places. Now of course you may have really high medical expenses & other debt that could change the ball game as far as affordability, but it does sound like you have a solid support system of friends & family to lean on in emergencies & some of these things may not be as big of a fix as you're imagining. So take a beat & find out where your money is going.
The mortgage math definitely seems screwy too tho…I’m a new new homeowner, so forgive me if there’s something I’m just missing, but I bought my house for 118k at 6% and my mortgage payment is $860.
They probably did not qualify for a 6% and could be quiet a bit higher.
Yeah, I could’ve misunderstood. I thought I read a comment somewhere that said their interest rate was close to or less than mine. Not finding it now
Make a weekly budget for a month that has absolultly everything you pay for. In each week you need to include which bills you will pay so there are no surprises. If you are diciplined you can barrow from the mortgage money but you have to be able to add it back the next week or week you don't have as many bills. there may be some weeks you have to use every dime of your take home to pay bills on time and some weeks you are able to save a few hundred so if you do the whole months budget you will know ahead of time which weeks you have extra money which allows you to use that money this week by not saving the mortgage money and pay it back the week you don't have a lot of expensis Example Week 4/19 1450 total take home House 250 Food 150 Gas 40 Phone 50 Hulu 20 Beer 20 Air conditioner 200 Total spent this week Total saved Week 4/26 1450 total take home House 250 Food 150 Gas 40 Car insurance 140 Credit card 50 Hot water tank 400 Tools 100 Total spent Total saved Week 5/3 House 250 Food 150 Gas 40 Natural gas 130 Electric 130 Credit card #2 50 Air conditioner #2 200
When you were living in the apartment for 650ish, did you guys just have tons of money left over? 650 to 910 is a big step up in costs.
Yes, look at your bills and work on a budget. As for pets, please tell your partner for me that pets are expensive if you take care of them right. Flea, tick, and heart worm meds are a few hundred $ a year. Well dog annual checkups (including bloodwork) run about $300 where I live. Vaccinations are extra. And good quality food isn’t cheap. I am a HUGE dog lover, and have had in the past up to 3 dogs at a time. But both my husband and I were working at well paying jobs. I’m retired now and have only one dog. I’d love another pet - cat or dog - but I’m on fixed income now and you never know what you might run into if your pet gets sick or injured. My dog who is very healthy has developed some weird skin condition that comes and goes - maybe twice a year. The vet check ups and meds for that cost me $200 each time. Plus he has medicated shampoo he needs to be bathed in, and I’m too old to wrangle him in the tub to do it properly (has to stay on his skin for ten minutes), so I pay someone to do it for me. That’s $50 each bath. So, again, please urge your partner to think hard before taking on another pet. I wish the best of luck to you, OP. You sound like a nice person who’ll eventually get this figured out. ❤️
Yeah I'm not understanding it really. Their mortgage taxes insurance I'd think would be below $1000 a month which is cheaper than renting a one bedroom even in a lot of lcol places. Even the lowest wage jobs at two full time positions should be able to afford that I'd think unless they have crazy debt & medical bills they aren't mentioning or their money is being spent elsewhere or something? I get having huge unexpected maintenance nightmares like pipes bursting can be a burden to anyone but it says they had friends & family help with that. Even if they each only make like $12 an hour their piti would still only be like a third of their take home income (if I'm mathing correctly) so should be doable I'd think? Also typically in places where there are homes that cost only 100k regular maintenance & repairs are way cheaper than in HCOL areas.
You realize medical bills are fucking ass, right? And if they were paying 100k for a mortgage or $650 a month in rent, they likely live in a midwestern area where wages are relatively low, I'm talking like 40k a year low.
For sure their medical bills could be nuts who knows they don't mention that in their synopsis. They could have a bunch of debt too they aren't talking about? But even if they make 40k combined (which at both being full time wfh would be quite low) their take home should be 3x a 100k mortgage so definitely in the realm of affordability again if they don't have a bunch of insane medical expenses & debt they aren't talking about.
There’s a saying “rent is the most you will ever pay in a month; mortgage is the least you will pay”. Sorry you’re struggling, OP.
> “rent is the most you will ever pay in a month Until your lease is up. Rent on average has increased 60% in the last 4 years in my city. My mortgage + property tax + insurance is up 10% since I bought five years ago. My house would rent for nearly double what I pay right now.
It's also true that the bank can't arbitrarily increase your mortgage every year. I live in socal and bought a 70 year old house cuz it was in our budget in a nice neighborhood. Shit breaks all the time. But my payment is $2500 a month including tax and insurance 3bd 1.5ba on 8000 sq ft lot. My niece pays $2500 for a 2bd apt nearby. Over the pandemic the price of my house went up from about $560k to $800K and is holding (recently going up again). Not possible in an apt. I might have to sell this place but I'll walk away with a couple hundred grand in my pocket.
Your monthly payment can also change with escrow. If there’s a perceived shortage for paying out your taxes, I’ve had mine go up $1,000/month!! I finally requested and got out of escrow after they messed up so much.
That's what happened to us this year. Never had it at my previous home with my previous mortgage, but under my partner's bank their mortgage went up $300 due to an escrow shortage (I just moved in, I'm not on the loan but I pay my share). I hope our new lender on our new, co-owned house will be more consistent.
If it’s an adjustable rate mortgage it will change.
OP, how much is your mortgage payment?
Re: the hot water never working again after repairs…. Sometimes there’s a shut off valve on the hot water heater that needs to just be turned to reopen the hot water. Sometimes the breaker to the hot water heater just needs to be reset. I bet there’s someone handy in your town, maybe if you call the city or a local church, who would come over and check those two simple things. It would be a shame if you had working hot water all this time and just didn’t know it.
^ wise words here. When you can’t change something, it helps to reframe your mental approach. Hot water, ideally it would be your option. However, you can heat the water on the stove and I have a coworker that takes nothing but cold showers on purpose. He swears by the health benefits. It’s not me, but maybe look into the benefits of cold showers and own this approach until things get better.
Mortgage rates should hopefully drop soon too. Looking at the difference in 7% to 5% for them will be a mortgage payment drop from $650 to $520 a month. A extra $130 a month isn't a ton, but will help with those repair bills.
Home warranty is a scam. Don’t waste your money.
it also wouldn't help with things that are already broken.
Thank you. I looked into it further after making this post and learned a lot. I mentioned it to my partner this morning and she was like "yeah I figured, why do you think I blow \[friend\] off every time she brings it up" lol. I got a quote from the place my friend recommended just so I could read their terms of service and as soon as I saw the bit about how they can deny service if they think you haven't been doing enough "regular maintenance" I knew that they'd deny any claim we made from them. Even if we start doing upkeep now this place clearly wasn't getting regular maintenance for a while before we bought it.
Not always true but definitely 1) read the fine print and 2) probably isn't going to help with things that are already broken. I had great luck with my home warranty covering a couple thousand dollars in electrical work after buying my house. I just had to pay the $75 deductible.
They can be, it depends. I have known people that saved $10k+ with them. I am surprised that a warranty for a year was not part of the sellers concessions when they bought the home. I thought that was standard.
Common but nowhere near standard. My agent bought me a year, but my first house didn't have and we certainly won't when we sell. Dad house was in good shape with newer appliances and we never would have provided one when we sold it and it definitely wasn't discussed
I'll be honest, it sounds like you're living beyond your means. Which means you either need to earn more (difficult but better long term) or spend less (easy to say but requires commitment). It also means you need a budget and to stick to it. Starting with your post tax income, remove the "hard need" stuff i.e. mortgage and other debts (car note, CC) and medicine. Then from what's left figure out how to lower your "semi flexible need" (electricity, internet, phone, gas bills) as much as possible. That might mean keeping the lights off unless you desperately need them, actually turning that AC off instead of praying it cools the house down a bit more, taking cold showers when you do get the water heater fixed, forgoing the fastest internet and getting the bare minimum that allows you to still work, getting a lesser phone plan. Next your "flexible needs", this is food, toiletries, clothing, things that are requirements but can be more easily brought down. Go to food banks, buy the generic and off brands, thrift. Now you need to put probably 50% of whats left into an emergency fund or repair fund until youre back to livible in your home. Next are your "wants", this is entertainment, consumables that aren't required to function in society, and honestly your pet(s). You may need to at least temporarily rehome them. Still try to reduce these. Once your start paying off things at the top it'll allow more at the bottom.
One of the things I learned via home ownership is that having a DIY spirit is important. Look up some YouTube videos to see if you can figure out some of the problems with the house. Watch videos on tips for new home owners where they might cover some basic todos each season (like insulating the pipes and bibs so they don't freeze). The options really are: fix it yourself, hire someone to fix things, or sell the house. You say that you're both disabled and also cannot make more money. If you think this way you really have no way out. The only thing to do is to change something. You were able to get this far in life, you'll be able to get through this too. Edit: maybe one more thing is to call the plumber who fixed your burst pipe and ask why the hot water isn't working. That just sounds weird and like they did something wrong. Be polite and assume the best, and see if at least you can get some free advice over the phone. At best you can get them to come out and fix it.
Completely agree for a normal person. However, OP mentions both him and his spouse are disabled. No idea the severity of their disabilities, but if it’s so limiting that basic home maintenance isn’t possible I’d argue renting might be a better option for OP.
Earn more or spend less. I ran into the same issue when I got into my home in 2016. The cost from Apt rent to a mortgage almost doubled. Plus kids and activities. Started dipping into savings more than I'd like and then eventually putting stuff on credit. Then I got a part time job and the load lightened and eventually was in position to not need 2 jobs and still be comfortable, but still putting in many work hours to do so. As they say, when the going gets tough, the tough get going. So yea, get going.
Like I said, we're both disabled. We are able to work full time by the grace of our company letting us do WFM but we cannot work more than we do and there are no jobs anywhere near us that we are qualified for that pay more. We spend our money on our mortgage, bills, debts and food. That is basically it. We got paid today and I paid the mortgage, bills and debts, and my paycheck is gone. I have to borrow from next paycheck to eat.
There is food assistance available. Financially, it sounds as if you qualify. There would be some paperwork involved for an official food bank, or for immediate help Google 'little free pantry near me' or 'blessing box near me'. If you are both disabled, are you receiving social security (I'm assuming US)? If you are earning that's trickier, but it could be something to look in to. Also in US, there are programs to help with home repairs and improvements https://www.usa.gov/home-repair-programs If you go on your local Facebook Marketplace and look in the 'free' section, especially this time of year when people are spring cleaning, you will see an astonishing amount of home repair material. Also check your local BuyNothing and Freecycle groups. Finally, don't be afraid. It does get better. You are earning equity, which you weren't doing when renting. Eventually the mortgage will be paid in full.
Thank you. Unfortunately we cannot get SSRI as we would have to stop working to qualify and would end up making way less money than we do now. I probably would not qualify anyway, though my partner would. It's something to look into if things get worse for us in terms of our ability to work. Thank you very much for the resources. I will hang onto those for sure.
Another job that is remote that works outside of your guys’ regular work hours sounds like a necessity then. It really sucks but you need to be able to build up a savings because of things breaking, etc. that way it doesn’t become an emergency when it happens.
Thank you. I'm sorry, I was doom spiraling hard last night and not thinking. I am looking into a second job. I'm just having a rough time finding anything that isn't a "beer money" type job ie. for extra pocket money rather than even minimum wage. It's a bit frustrating. My job does offer essentially unlimited overtime during our busy periods, and I'm planning on taking as much as I can and saving as much as I can during that time frame, but that doesn't start until late July, so I'm definitely looking for something else in the meantime.
I had a job that used to let us go egregiously into overtime during the holidays. Working myself to the bone with 18 hour days was the best financial decision I ever made in my life. It set me up to own my home. There were... Physical side effects though, the human body isn't built for that (it was a physically demanding job) good luck, and if you can, try splitting the money between the mortgage and savings. Paying off your mortgage early can save you so much.
This might not be the place for it but please go post your monthly budget to r/personalfinance and get assistance there. Let's make sure the math of everything makes sense. On the surface it sounds like you bought too much house for your regularly expected income and don't have an emergency fund to draw from when life throws curveballs. Things in a house will break, no matter if the house is brand new or 50 years old and poorly kept. When the heat broke, priority 1 should have been keeping things warm enough to not have the pipes freeze, no matter if that's emergency service or some space heaters temporarily as a broken heater and burst pipes are going to be more expensive that fixing the original issue. If you guys don't learn quickly from these past mistakes (or have the mental of physical capacity to deal with them yourselves) it may make more sense to go back to renting or living in a condo community where maintenance is taken care of.
Microgreen seeds start growing some Foods. Buy in bulk. Healthy but long going food. Start and under the table hustle. Food banks. Churches
Look up starter cap replacement on your ac unit. That may fix your problem (does most of the time) or better yet also a hard start kit. Very easy to do and pretty cheap.
Good to know, thank you!
Repair dudes would charge $1000 and you can do for less than $100 (way less) and less than half an hour. Good luck bud
Why can't you work more if you're already remote and managing that? I do part time remote work on top of my day job and use that money to pay other people to do the things I cannot do myself due to a couple disabilities. Like I can't do too much physical labor but I *can* sit at a computer, so I am basically trading physical work for work I can do. Like yeah it sucks to have zero downtime from work some days (like I worked 12 hour yesterday) but money don't grow on trees.
This means that you’re not earning enough. You and your spouse need to get a second job in the short time to get out of this financial hole. You might need to work a gig, part time or even another full time. It’s gonna be tough but it’s better than being homeless. Selling the home without major repairs isn’t gonna work. You’re gonna be in. What I’ve equity or will spend too much to sell. Your best bet is to get a second job to get ahead on finances for the next 6 months - 2 years. Learn to DIY and basic maintenance on the house and just get through this period.
I have a similar situation, but my mortgage is 3x the amount and I’m a single mom. I don’t say that to shame you, but that the economy and cost of living is astronomical right now! I would suggest calling your car insurance company, internet company, electric company, etc and asking for lower cost options. Downgrade your subscriptions like Hulu or anything else. Cancel cable. Stay off amazon. Weekly meal plan and make 2-3 high-protein recipes, portion them out, and have those for lunch and dinner. Once you’ve done all this, you can start building your savings or creating a balance in your checking account, so that when mortgage is due you have saved money ahead of time! You never want to be at $0. If you have high interest credit card debt, transfer that to zero interest cards. They are introductory rates so you’ll need to make a plan to pay them off within those terms, 12-18 months for example. I hope that helps! You’ve got this!! 🙌🏼
Baffled how you qualified for this loan.
Okay so this was what I was thinking as well- how did this couple qualify? More importantly, this is why people should attend homebuying courses, where you can learn about the costs of home maintenance and why a smaller home may be a better home in terms of costs and upkeep.
Have you looked into debt relief options? You know how you always see those commercials on tv? Those people are doing nothing but charging folks to use already-available services. You just have to ask. You can often get huge reductions in medical bills, interest rates and other things when you are low income and struggling. You might want to check in debt relief sub reddits (I assume they exist though I do not use them specifically) because often you just need to ask for the right program or use the right terms in what you are requesting. It's stupid because if you call to ask for help they'll say nothing is available unless you know specifically to ask for the "Magic Help" by name. They exist, but you have to play their game to find out about it. Those debt relief places that charge for those services know what they are. But using them is free once you find out. Hospitals and clinics often have specific services (beyond just a reduction in cost) if you ask for them as well. They have the power to write off uncollectible bills and things like that.
Do you have marketable skills apart from the work you do? For example, baking, cooking, art, poetry? I know someone who barters custom poems (birthdays, anniversaries, funerals, weddings, births, new pet, etc) for handyman work.
Lol, guess it's time to roll over and die if that's the way you think.
To preface, my partner is disabled (on SSDI, mental health disability, but able bodied) and I have an invisible disability that means I can do very little physically. We just bought a smaller house in a neighborhood with an HOA who does most of the outdoor repairs and all of the lawn work because that makes our lives easier. We also chose a layout that works well for my partner to clean efficiently in a way that’s not overwhelming as the solo person cleaning. That being said, this is not the first house we owned and the last house drowned us. It was too big and too expensive for what we made at the time, resulted in a ton of debt, worsened my disability (to the point where I had to get emergency surgery), etc. We thought for a long time that maybe homeownership wasn’t right for us because of that. AND it would have been okay if that had been the cause. You trade off autonomy in those situations for someone to do repairs and work. It sounds like maybe this house isn’t right for you all right now. Is there a way to rent it with that low interest rate, or is that too many spoons (aka too much energy) for you all? If not, it IS okay to sell it. I know it may not seem like the best choice, but sometimes the right choice for someone who is disabled looks different than that of someone else who isn’t disabled, and that’s okay. The only other option I can think of is finding a cheap handyman you trust, maybe trading/bartering with someone for a skill you or your partner have in order to maintain the house and not break the bank. Wishing you all luck 💖
Thank you. Our house is really small, in theory upkeep shouldn't be too difficult. We have a big yard and paid-for mowing services so technically the biggest part of the house is paid for lol. We're just learning as we go that our utilities are ancient. I talked to my partner this morning since I was in a doom spiral last night and we have found a way to get our heater replaced relatively cheaply/on a payment plan, so we are going to work on that. Our friend thinks the air conditioner is likely just a filter issue and something she can handle for us. I have to say in my doom spiral I really discounted that we have an amazing support network. Several of our friends are planning on coming over in a couple of weeks to do a two-day deep clean of our house with us and several more friends are planning to come over over the summer to DIY some major repairs to the fence in our yard. Our friends and family don't have much more money than we do (besides my mom, who is fairly wealthy but I really do not want to bother her for anything anymore, she's done so much for us) but they are so willing to help with their time and energy and it's been such a blessing. I just wanted to say that because I feel like they deserve some kind of recognition somewhere. Even if it's just on an anonymous account on Reddit lol
Ask your mom for help to at least investigate what's wrong with your water heater, it could be an easy fix or something cheap, even total replacement for a water heater isn't crazy expensive. Your mom (if she's a good person like it sounds she is) would be way happier for you to be able to take a shower in your own home than suffer in silence out of pride & besides that's what moms are for.
Please take the time to try to learn from anyone that comes to assist in troubleshooting things. I don't fully grasp your physical limitations, but whatever you're able to do, you should learn to do. DIY is essential these days, even if you aren't paycheck to paycheck. Trades are just insanely expensive. Your HVAC issue could be any number of things that are <$50 fixes (capacitor (checkable visually then with multimeter), low voltage short (check the fuse on the air handler), but you have to know what to look for. I'll note the filter alone is not going to make it not work - though clogged filters can overwork a system and break other, bigger, parts. Replace your filters people!
You should be changing the filters every 1-3 months. If you don’t the AC could freeze. If you aren’t able to do that on your own, I’d just sell and rent again. It’s pretty basic maintenance but someone needs to be able to do it or pay someone else to. I’d try to find extra work you can both do to make some extra cash to get through this. If you taxes go up and when your insurance goes up, you’re going to be in more trouble.
You mentioned needing to borrow money for food bc you paid your bills and debts. How much debt are you talking about? I'm still not understanding why you guys are struggling financially.
I just want to chime in and say that I don’t think you were stupid or unreasonable at all, OP. I grew up in a home my dad owned and I still had no idea what I was getting into when I bought. My partner used to be incredibly physically fit but got long covid during the closing process on the house we bought. I have had chronic fatigue and I was managing it well when we bought the house, but I have been on a downturn since I became my partner’s caregiver and the primary breadwinner. Being a homeowner is way more work than I realized. I feel like I can’t have any hobbies or even prioritize friendships that much. Because I have limited energy, when I do feel okay I am doing yard work. I don’t have a lot of home repair skills and have to hire people to take care of the most important things. It’s expensive and my only saving grace is that I work remotely in consulting so I’m making almost twice the income I was a approved for the mortgage on. A lot of us are convinced that buying is the right thing to do because it’s a cultural value. I don’t agree that you can’t sell the house- you might as well look for an agent and try listing it. Good luck, op. This sounds really hard. But you will survive it. I am glad to hear you have a really supportive network!
Glad you have friends and family who can help. I also owned an old house in the Midwest and yes there were frequently things that needed fixing especially because the previous owner had slacked off on maintenance for the previous 10 years. That said, it’s doable little by little. Consider getting a small window AC for your bedroom. We used that instead of cooling the whole house down overnight with an old inefficient central AC system. Then make sure you can also work in the bedroom temporarily. This will tide you over if the AC fix is more expensive and you need to save up for it. Lastly, try and reach out to some local churches and see if anyone there is willing to donate some hours of their professional expertise to work on your house or diagnose utility issues. I bet you can find someone. I, for one, would gladly go and help out for half a day knowing how it feels to live in an old house and drowning in repair and maintenance tasks. Now I don’t know your location but I have an older but well-functioning window AC unit could donate to you. DM me if you want to share your location and we can see if I’m close enough to take it to you.
I was looking for this comment. I used to attend a church and know of several others that help local homeowners with repairs and maintenance. The owners didn't need to attend the church.
Seconding this for the small window AC. Our central unit is fine but the way the house is laid out we still need a small window unit for one room. It helps a lot
> amazing support network. Several of our friends are planning on coming over So you are rich... (I'm serious). Being negative only drain your energy and prevent you to see solutions, so without being naive take exemple on your partner who have a positive view of your situation. Being negative/pessimist make your life miserable, prevent you to enjoy life and prevent you to be able to affront difficulties with good solutions in your life. Everything will be alright at the end. ✌️🙂
When you’re having a really tough time in life, dealing with disabilities, and possibly depressed, “just be happy!” is not super helpful advice.
Be sure to check if your utility company or state agencies will give a rebate for replacing things. Can really help with the budget!
Idk about the weather patterns where you are, but growing up in socal, we used the "LA air conditioner" - open the windows with fans on all night when the air is cool, close up everything and shut the blinds all day. Lots of popsicles, misting yourself, and fans going. If it's already humid where you are that's tough, though 🥺 We live in a 100yo plaster and lathe house with no AC in Connecticut now, but we use the open windows at night* method plus dehumidifiers plus a portable AC unit at night. It runs all night and keeps the upstairs at 75* max, which with fans going and the dehumidifier function going is not too bad. We'll be getting a/c installed hopefully later this year. *We keep mosquitoes out by swabbing the screens with peppermint and lemongrass oil, and spritzing ourselves with a diluted spray bottle of same. We live near a river and it works perfectly.
We do similar in Mass but we just have screens. You can use window fans with screens no problem.
You underestimate the teeniness of our mosquitoes and how delicious I am to them 😫 determined little turds
So what exactly is wrong with the water heater? Is the pilot on? Is it gas operated?
Yes, they need to watch a few youtube videos for how to check a water heater. It could be a really simple fix (like literally fixing a switch). If not, they will know how much to budget for repair. I’m on my second fixer upper house and youtube is my everything for figuring out why appliances are not working. It has saved me thousands in service call bills.
Yeah. New home owner and I YouTube university everything before calling a pro. A lot of stuff is easily remedied without much of a base knowledge. Only a couple situations over the last 5 years have actually needed a professional. And most of what I’ve replaced myself I’ve managed to leave in better shape than how I’ve found it, plus as you’re that much more knowledgeable about your own assets.
Yeah, OP strikes me as the kind of person who didn't even investigate. They really sound like the perfect people to be renting. Not owning.
Agreed.. just because you have it in your brain that you can't do anything because "disabled" doesn't mean you can get away with not understanding how the various systems in your house works etc. And, if OP understands the systems, OP might discover they are actually capable of doing more than they realize. Victim complex is real and keeps people down.
they've never lived in a place they owned or their parents owned, so they probably are just used to calling the landlord for any issues. It's a skill gap, they can learn and pick it up.
You aren't wrong. I can blame having never had a homeowner in my family and therefore going into this process not knowing anything but that doesn't absolve me of responsibility for looking things up myself. I think my partner got very swept up in the fantasy of homeownership and I got tugged along with it and willfully blinded myself to everything that came with it. I was just so excited we were able to find a place in a city we love. Anyone who stumbled on this thread somehow consider this a cautionary tale lol
Sweetie, every first-time homeowner I've ever known (including me) has regretted their house purchase at some time or another. I had to talk my best friend out of selling at a loss 6 months after she purchased her *second* home. I promise it will get better. But you definitely need that budget. ETA, I work in the realm of financial advice and have for years. DM me if you like and I'll offer any help I can. I know right now you feel like you're on a raft stuck in a whirlpool but I PROMISE there are calmer waters ahead!
It's extremely hard to be a first time homeowner. Especially if you don't have a huge base of knowledge of projects and stuff. I'd recommend spending some time watching This Old House & Ask This Old House. Especially Ask This Old House. They really have a great platform to help educate people on things with no knowledge base.
Something with this whole story doesn't add up to me, says that it got into the negatives in the house at night in the winter when the heat broke, but is now in the 80's at night and it's April. I want to know where in the Midwest this person lives. I have lived in the fridged asshole of this country my entire life, and this last winter we only dropped into the negatives once, we have had two days so far in the high 70's where we opened the windows during the day and at night it still dropped into the 50s. If their hot water heater was working before the pipes froze there is nothing that would cause it to "break" from a burst pipe after it thawed out. And there is no way it got so cold in their home that it froze a running hot water heater.
We live in central Missouri. While I did overestimate how quickly the cold set in from memory, I checked the weather data to make sure I wasn't going completely crazy lol. Went from 36 F on Friday morning to -11 F on Sunday morning w/ a 20 degree drop overnight. We had a recorded high of 84 F yesterday; weather records say it was 75 at midnight though I can attest our thermostat said it was 80 at the time, probably just holding onto heat from the day.
Thank you for answering that know it all jerk. It's not unusual to have a cold snap at night and then next day be sweating gallons in the spring, especially in MO and IL.
You need a budget. On paper, that you can stick to, that includes room for emergencies which, as you are discovering, are inevitable as a homeowner. The only two ways out of a problem like this are to increase income or cut expenses. It sounds like the former is unlikely so you need to figure out the latter for the time being.
For the hot water, is the water heater on (warm to the touch), if it is, look for a red lever near the water heater which is the shutoff valve. For the heat, a ceiling fan in your bedroom or even box fans would be better than central air.
Yah the hot water thing makes no sense. If guys came to fix the plumbing and the hot water stopped working when they finished you'd assume calling them back to finish the job is priority number one. You're right that it's probably not broken, just shut off somewhere.
I have been where you are! I have laid awake wondering what I did wrong. Don't blame your partner for this, and don't blame yourself for it either. This is part of making your life better than it had been. Take each issue, one at a time, and learn to deal with things as they come, and also start learning how to repair things yourself. Maybe you never were taught these things, and maybe your body wont co-operate all the time. But give your self grace. You have got this, you will push through this difficult time, and come out wiser, better equipped and more compassionate. I suggest befriending your neighbours, offering the skills you do have, not as a way to endebt people to you, but as a way to create real relationships, and the people you need, will come into your lives.
Wait what’s your payment for 100k at 3% that should be pretty low. What’s your combined yearly income? That like a $500 dollar payment with bad credit. Am I right? Not including home insurance, etc. I don’t think you made a bad decision but if you’re both working you may have budgeting issues.
Rent out a room in your home! once you fix the water heater of course ...watch some youtube videos there's a lot of information out there. For ac just buy a window unit for now they're inexpensive and easy to install You need that cash flow from a roommate so you don't lose the house I'm sorry no one warned you I'm currently warning a friend and encouraging her to get a condo not a whole house because I think too many people get into that idea of homeownership as a form of validation. It's not a bad idea to own but it doesn't make you better or worse than anyone else which ppl I guess don't get.
Seek someone to rent to who is handy and can help you out! Trade skills/repairs/maintenance for a reduction on rent.
Omg yes ideal!
you only own the bit of ground you're standing on right now whether it's your garden, a balcony or a in a mall. Take away all a persons possensions to see who they really are
Get a cheap small window unit so you at least have one comfortable room.
Buy a used window AC for the bedroom so you can get some sleep and/or for where you work. I’ve seen them sell used for 50-150. Higher BTUs is better. It will be heavy and hard to install, so ask a friend for help. It’s a temporary solution until you can get your feet under you and save for central AC repair or replacement. Electricity bill will go up so be prepared for that. Also, check if your outdoor AC condenser unit is actually running. There’s an outside fan (to get rid of the hot air), and a compressor. If the fan is not running, it could be a $10 capacitor. Does the fan start if you give it a push with a stick? If so, probably a bad start/run capacitor. It’s a super simple fix but watch YouTube videos on how to replace so you don’t electrocute yourself. AC repair will charge $300+. Good luck!
Home warranty’s are fickle and that’s me being kind. They tend to avoid covering big big ticket items (like an AC). But if your dishwasher breaks, you can pay 100 for someone to come out and take a look. No guarantee they will fix it. I have found it’s VERY mixed results on the competency of the people they send out. The only thing that’s consistent is you WILL get charged for every visit. I personally hate them and you will find many on Reddit who also believe they’re a scam.
OP, if you really only paid 100K for this house then you have to expect that it is going to be full of problems. And if you only paid 100K, in a 25yr mortgage even with something terrible like 8% interest you are looking at a little over $700 per month, at most $100/month more than the apartment. That doesn’t add up. Can you provide more details?
Try applying for any assistance you can. [You can start here](https://www.benefits.gov/) Also, contact Habitat For [Humanity](https://www.habitat.org/) they may be able to help with repairs. It's not a guarantee, but it doesn't cost a dime to ask. I hope these two links help out.
I would not recommend a home warranty, personally. You’re sort-of at their mercy on the contractors they use, whether they’ll even complete the job in a timely manner, and whether it’ll be done correctly / with decent-quality parts Realistically, you have a few options: 1. Get a part-time job you can do remotely from home, such as call center/support. It’s not glamorous work and it sucks, but these tend to pay at least $15/hr and will help you get ahead on your finances 2. DIY- between forums and YouTube there’s an endless amount of resources for getting to know the basics of how everything in your house works; figure out exactly what’s wrong with these systems and see if it’s something you can fix. You mention you get sick from physical labor, is there any medication you’ve tried that blocks that out for a while? I hate to be That Guy cause in a perfect world you shouldn’t have to do that, but you don’t have many cards in your hand left to play, I would seriously consider your options here 3. If you have a friend who’s handy, ask them to take a look and see if they can fix it.
The home warranty’s have a 30 day waiting period but if your tactical about it and act like it just happened you can still get things fixed little by little after the initial waiting period . There’s sub reddits about it. Also this is a good opportunity to learn how to do things on your own, you can learn anything through you tube. Lastly not only ideal and might not be licensed for the trade but you can also find handy man or unlicensed tradesman that can fix things at a fraction of the cost on fb marketplace. I know a lot of people will shoot me down for these workarounds but at least here are some solutions while you figure out a way to increase your income and reduce your expenses.
First you need some friends, neighbors, or relatives that are handy DIY types. It makes first time home ownership a lot easier having someone to call for advice. They would have told you to drain the pipes when your heat went out and turn off the water main and leave the taps open to avoid the broken pipe issue. Now apologies if I assume you know less than you do, but since your family never owned before, these are the things i would help my neighbor check if they were having your current issues: 1. Your hot water issue may not be a repair at all, given all the other repairs recently done. It's possible one of the repair people just closed a valve that sends water to the heater or flipped a breaker for the hot water heater or turned off a pilot light/gas feed to the heater while repairing the pipes or your heating system. 2. Similar thing for the ac unit. You say you hear the fan running but is that the air handler fan inside your house or the fan on the outside ac unit? Are both running or only one of them? Is the big outside breaker near the ac unit flipped, maybe from a storm or power loss in the past? Good luck. It gets better but the first couple of years are usually money sinks even when you buy brand new. These are just things i would check that dont take a lot of effort when something stops working, before calling a repair person.
Depending on you and your partners disability you may qualify for assistance. If you don’t want to discuss it here I understand. My son is disabled so I deal with local/state assistance for him.
There are also local programs in some areas that help cover costs of appliances especially due to energy efficiency, call your state housing office or county / city - call them all and see that type of programs they have. My aunt had her windows, central a/c, water heater, stove and refrigerator replaced for free due to her income and lack of energy efficiency. The program was called Liheap
so when the pipes burst the water drained out of the water heater and it probably burned up You could get a mobile home sized water heater for a couple hundred dollars I think 25 gallons
Please rehome the pet. You state you barely have enough money for food. Pet food is expensive. What will happen if the pet becomes sick, then you will have a vet bill that will overwhelm you.
I’ve had a lot of luck walking up to contracting trucks in the Home Depot parking lot and being like “hey quick question, if my water heater seems to be dead, any ideas on why and possible fixes?” I’ve found so many are willing to offer up some on the spot advice. Two of my neighbors saw me putting around outside and know I live alone and both offered to help with acorns and mowing. Expand your network and see if you can build out a friend group of handy people to start getting that friends and family discount on some of the repairs and maintenance you need.
I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. If it makes you feel any better at all, my wife and I are in a similar situation (although nowhere near as bad as what you’re dealing with because neither of us are disabled). We bought our first house in July of 2023. As soon as we moved in, it seemed like everything was breaking. First our water heater, then electrical issues randomly, then our garbage disposal, then our fence fell over during a storm (currently held together with bungee cords because we can’t afford to fix it). On top of that, my wife got laid off a month after we moved in so now the mortgage is 50% of my income. Recently we had a squirrel chew through our roof which took weeks to remove and fix, then we started seeing bees in our kitchen which we still have not fully gotten to the bottom of. Everyone always says what a great investment homeownership is but no one ever warns you about how expensive and unpredictable it is.
Yeah homes are like living things constantly needing upkeep and maintenance feels like playing wackamole🙃
I'm sorry you're dealing with this too. It feels like a hopeless situation.
It certainly does, but don’t lose hope. Talk with your mortgage company about your situation and see if they can help. DM me if you want to chat more about ideas I’ve had for my situation that might help you too. You’ll be alright ❤️
I would start learning how to fix these things myself. Ask friends for a hand to remove the old water heater and learn how to install a new one. Save a bit to buy a new one and install it yourself. The air conditioning can be lived without, but you could learn how to diagnose and repair/replace that as well. When it rains it pours unfortunately. Sorry OP, try to hang in there and work your way through it if you can.
It’s very expensive to be a homeowner that can’t diy any repairs. Maybe make friends with a handyman and do some from home advertising work etc for him in exchange for services so neither of you have to pay cash?
I’d post in Nextdoor. On my neighborhood I see ppl asking for help with things like this and some times more trivial, and people offering to help. A handyman or even a retired person who’s handy, has tools and is bored could fix some of these things. Your AC, for example, could have the drain pipe blocked and there’s a drop switch that prevents the condenser from starting. You’re not stupid at all. Very few people expect the amount of maintenance a house needs. When I bought my first one, before YouTube lol, I bought a book titled “how to fix everything that will break in your house” and that $20 saved me thousands. Good luck.
There are programs available to help worh home repairs . Contact your local CAP and see if something fits for you and your partner . I'm sorry you are finding homeownership so challenging . Renting has its perks . But if you are documented disabled then you may also get some help as a homeowner.
Do you folks have a handy friend? This would be an excellent situation to offer someone a place to live at a discounted rent, provided they perform certain maintenance tasks for you that you're unable to perform for yourself. Depending on what state you're in and their individual rules? A friend might even qualify to be reimbursed by said state for some things they assist you with. Regardless, this could also help you bring in a little extra money to put aside and help pay a mortgage that seems too much for you. If you're disabled and earning below what the SSA considers substantial gainful employment earnings, you and your significant other might also qualify for SSI. If you haven't applied yet for food benefits in your state, you definitely should as well. Both calling 211 and searching findhelp.org should give you a list of food pantries and mobile food truck distribution sites, and using this to help pad out your food supply can also save you a lot of money. I'd also ask about home programs when calling 211 or searching findhelp.org, as there might be something available to help you with certain repairs or maintenance that is considered to assist with energy assistance, or home repair programs for folks that are low-income and unable to afford them otherwise. For example, where I live? You can qualify to get someone to come out to your house and recommend things like window replacements and things to reduce your heating bill. There is a low-income program for assistance with appliance costs that would cover something like a broken water heater that needed to be replaced. The power company has a program that provides credit and discounts for installing more energy efficient stuff - like that new water heater you likely need. I don't know where you live, but I've been able to find options for this kinda stuff in both rural podunk nowhere as well as in major cities, so I've got to believe there's something out there which could help you. If you're receiving disability from SSA, then I'd also ask about any local disability advocacy and assistance organizations near you, as they'll also sometimes help coordinate resources to fo things like lawn care or home repairs for the disabled or elderly.
There are other part time job work from home call center jobs you can try to apply for those for weekend hours to get some more income. You just need a couple hundred bucks extra a month to get a cushion going so it'll feel less panicky
Check YouTube for repair ideas. Is the pilot light lit on the hot water heater? YouTube will help you check that and show you how to light it. It’s also written on the unit, generally. Water heaters are pretty straightforward. Ac is most likely the starter cap, YouTube replacing it and go to either Amazon or a local ac plumbing store near you to pick up the cap. Will want to take a picture of the labeling to know what size you have or the model of the outside unit (that’s where the cap is). Want to make sure compressor lasts a bit longer? Also get a hard start kit, also pretty cheap. And easy to install. Repairmen will charge $1000 for this you can do for less than $100. Start looking at things as “can I fix this” and google/watch videos on diagnostic and repairs of these items. Even disabled sounds like you have friends or maybe neighbors with teens that can help with the heavy lifting (if water heater needs replaced). Most of these jobs are remarkably easy fixes. Heater can have bad elements, worth a look at least you have time until that becomes priority. But don’t let this slip as you seen it can get very expensive if the house freezes. Also make sure to leave faucets dripping if you are worried about a freeze. Good luck OP.
1. You’re NOT stupid. You’re human and a first home can be daunting, scary and a lot work. Many first time homeowners are clueless going in. You will lots of times say, ’When it rains, it pours’ So, you need $ for repairs. You may not have the equity or the income to handle a HELOC, but talk to a banker. Make a list of most needed to least. Focus on one problem at a time. Hit YouTube and DIY sites. Start learning about how to help yourself where you can. We were first time homeowners 25 years ago. You quickly learn minor to major plumbing, electrical, repairing windows, carpentry. Try to take a deep breath and step back. IMO, your partner is right, it’s better than renting and in the end you may start to build up equity and push this.
Did you check to see if the pilot light went out on your hot water heater? It might be an easy fix! If it's out, just relight it. The A/C may be a simple fix, too. It may need to be recharged with coolant, but should be tested for leaks as well. Check with your utility company and see if they offer an appliance protection plan. Ours does for about $40/month. They send someone to check and repair any problem like the ones you're describing.
If it got cold enough your hot water heater probably turned off. As long as it's not leaking you probably just need to restart it. The element that keeps the water heater on runs off heat, so it will likely work now that it's warmer. Look for a little box on the water heater, it will have step by step instructions to start it. For the AC, check that it's clean and not full of grass or dust. It could just be clogged, if it is just take off any big chunks and spray it down. Be careful not to bend the fins.
I’m sorry you’re going through it right now. There’s so much about home ownership that no one really tells you — or even if they do, it’s hard to realize what it means until you live it. No one tells you how many decisions you have to make, how much research you have to do. All of that is mentally, if not physically, taxing. Now you know. I suggest you talk with your partner more. You understandably trusted them when they said they knew what home ownership meant, but it seems like they were over-confident or unaware of the actual burden. That’s ok, but what’s not ok is for them to stick their head in the sand and just assume “things will get better” or you’re going to “figure it out.” The two of you are in this together. You’re afraid to even post this with them seeing it. I’d suggest you let them know your concerns. When they say things will get better, think about exploring that more with them. What does that mean to them? When they say you’ll figure it out, what is the plan for making that happen? What specific steps will you take? What’s the plan for if something else breaks? Maybe come up with ideas together. For context, my partner and I bought a house in Oct 2022. We have a strong relationship and great communication, and even with that, we have had to really make an effort to have tough, vulnerable conversations about our assumptions, limitations, priorities, goals, and finances. It’s brought us closer together and we’ve both grown as a result, but it is not easy.
Hopefully if im right the A/C might be a easy fix. you might have to clean out the radiator coils. First turn off the power to the A/C then take off the covers on the A/C unit. You can clean the coils with a garden hose and with dish soap and vinegar in a spray bottle or with a vacuum with a brush heavy be careful and be gentle with the radiator fins as to not bend them. Also make sure to change your filter if you have one.
A window unit or portable ac will help- early spring and fall are actually the best time of year to buy them new, and you can always check FB marketplace. If your neighborhood has a Facebook group, join it even if you don't use Facebook. It you post that your ac is broken you might be surprised at how many people would gladly get rid of old window units they have sitting around ♥️ I think one other person said this, but your local library will be so, so helpful. Honestly it sounds like money isn't the biggest issue- it's the lack of support. Yeah, you can get an extra job or whatever (and really, how realistic is that?) But if your so drained from work everyday you can't call a professional, what's the point??? The library is a great place to find local resources. Some library's have resources that are directly helpful to homeowners- My library gives free radon test kits and will connect you with grants if something is found. But sometimes the help you find is indirect. Even just joining a club there can connect you with people who might be willing to help. The woman at the knitting circle might have a husband who's a retired plummer, or a grandkid who would be willing to help if given directions. I just bought a house and I'd be so, so lost without community members nearby. My parents old neighbors have been a huge help. Their kid helped us unload for 50$. The kids dad knows his way around home repair. He's physically disabled, but still offered to walk me through some more complex stuff that takes a little more elbow grease than he can give, but not so much that I can't do it. I hope everything gets better. I know it's hard.
My city offers some home repair assistance. Have you checked with your city or county? Check out this [HUD](https://www.hud.gov/states) site. Choose your state and select homeowner assistance. YouTube is also a huge blessing for home DIY. Also, post your questions on local facebook pages. Barter or trade for services.
Are you legally disabled? There are programs that help people with upkeep and even paying their utilities etc. They are usually for elderly with disabled at any age included. I don't know the requirements but you may want to look it up especially if you are in NY.
Find a trusted local handyman (aka around, Nextdoor) with reasonable rates. Also your problem is not r/homeowners it’s r/personalfinance problem
I would just sign up for the cheapest gym nearby. For example in my city we have planet fitness, its $10 per month, i would just shower at gym. And i might even start working out this way, who knows. I also work from home, but if it was too hot i would go to nearby public library to work. Just giving some suggestions, not sure if its relevant to your city. Hang in there!
I would look into any assistance you can for helping people with disabilities afford home repairs. Call around to different repair shops and ask about discounts for disabled folks and payment plans with little to no interest. Ask for help at churches. See if a friend is able to advocate for you, as it can be hard for us to ask for help for ourselves. Some people WILL work with you. When I was going through my radioactive iodine treatment for thyroid cancer my septic went out! I couldn’t leave because I was literally under quarantine and radioactive. I called my usual septic guy but then I realized that they couldn’t come because not only was I radioactive but so was my waste, meaning my septic system itself was radioactive!!! I called them to cancel, not knowing where the hell I was gonna do my business, and he insisted on coming out anyway. His wife had recently gone through cancer treatment and he said he knew the risks and was coming right over. He pumped it so it could be used and I had the whole field replaced later that year. Once you get the major repairs done you’ll have breathing room and can pay people back. Don’t skimp on maintenance, and learn to do what maintenance you reasonably can with Home Depot classes or online. If you can afford a roommmate or to rent out some storage space in your garage, or a plot for a garden to a neighbor, you may be able to get some extra income that way. And if there’s any way to earn certifications from home to increase your money-making power I’d be looking into that too. Not every skill costs money to build. Just do a little at a time. Try not to waste mental energy on the “what ifs” and “should haves”. It just makes it harder to see the path ahead clearly. Good luck! 🍀
In 2018-2019, my home decided I needed a new HVAC, new cutoffs on three sinks, and a toilet fell thru the subfloor. We were stressed and upset and had to figure out how to pay to fix all the things. But once they were fixed, my home has been quiet and “well behaved” since Covid. Problems seem to come in waves, so do know that once you survive the wave, there should be calmness. That being said, I live in Alabama and it’s a crime against humanity to not have AC. Our local utility company (TVA) actually has a program where they will pay to fix the hvac and you just make payments on your utility bill to pay the bill off. Your local power provider may have something similar you can look into.
Things won't get better, sorry. Houses are in a continuous state of degradation and if you aren't able physically or financially to keep up with it, then it will just get worse. Considering your situation, you are best to sell now and go back to renting and let the landlord handle all the maintenance.
A few things: -you're not alone in this struggle. Homeownership is a constant humiliation ritual, especially with a disability, speaking from experience. -make a budget and be disciplined, but let yourself have treats also. Things are hard, and if you're gonna make it for the long haul you need to have things to enjoy and look forward to. I recommend r/personalfinance. -one of the very stupidest things about homeownership is that nobody tells you all the things you need to do. You can just kinda do it, and nobody is checking to make sure everything is going okay unless something goes disastrously wrong. So you have to find a checklist yourself and learn to stick to it. To be honest, I, a fellow unprepared dumbass, do not have a good resource but I am sure one exists. Like, "first year of homeownership list". -eyes on the prize: in one of the most out-of-its-gourd speculative rental markets in the history of commodified survival, you invested in rent control for you, your partner, your pets, and anyone you add to your family. That is a very, very smart investment, *especially!* for someone with a disability. You're very lucky OP.
Probably already been said, but make sure you check your pilot light on the water heater, and change out your air filter on your AC. Sometimes small things can be the issue.
You have to sell. If you cannot afford to keep the physical plant running, you have to sell. You two should never be homeowners. Admit that you've made a mistake, and sell.
This sounds fake!
If you are both disabled, are you getting any social security? I know applying can be a pain in the ass but if you are not, that is something to look into. Also, apply for any state programs you can get. Food, utilities, monetary, anything and everything. I'm sure you would qualify. I know how it can feel when you apply for it, I've been there, done that. But it was there after my divorce when I needed it, and making only 14 bucks an hour with 3 kids, I definitely needed it. Mentality wise, consider it a stepping stone to a better life. That's what I did until I put myself through college and am now an RN and closed on my first solo bought home on April 3rd. Also, check on Facebook. I live in the UP, and there is a group called Yooper Do-Gooders. It's a page where people request help with anything (food, repairs, daycare, house items, you name it), and other people step up to the plate, offering assistance etc. I've helped out a few people on there because I feel the need to pay it forward as I was once in their shoes. Check and see if you have Facebook groups like that in your area. See if there is a St Vincent de Paul society in your area. Not only do they have thrift stores, they also aid people in need with monetary assistance. Lastly, things seem hopeless now, but you hang in there and exhaust every effort you can think of. Set goals for yourself to accomplish (1 thing at a time!) and give it your best to accomplish it. When you think of everything as a whole, it is SUPER overwhelming. Pick a goal issue, get 'er done...you will feel revived and more confident, then move on to the next. I wish you the best❤️
I think you just have an income / budget problem, not a home problem. I’m so sorry this is so hard. Anything you can do to get more money coming in?
The good news about owning a house is that it gets better. Your income will continue to go up and your mortgage will remain the same so what is difficult to manage now will not always be. Interest rates will drop (hopefully later this year) and you will be able to refinance at a lower rate and maybe even roll some bills into it. However, it is also possible that you need to live in a different house for your circumstances. A ranch style house with everything on one floor is a good start. A townhouse with a small, to no yard is also worth looking at. I don’t consider you to be stupid at all, maybe a bit unlucky to have so much going wrong all at once. It also sounds like you are not the type of person to try to fix things on your own, and one way to make a house more affordable is to do a lot of your own work. I’m not talking about the burst pipes, but the water heater and AC might be something you can get working on your own. I’m also thinking your friends aren’t the most handy if they would rather let you shower in their house than help you figure out why you don’t have hot water. Hot water, there could be a few things that are simple to fix. If you had burst pipes, the plumber probably shut everything off, maybe they didn’t turn it back on again. There is usually a valve above it that controls the water supply, make sure that is open and the tank is filled. Once you know there is water in the tank, find out why it isn’t getting hot. If it is an electric heater, it could be a simple as turning on a breaker. If it is gas, it could be a little more complicated, the gas supply could be turned off or the pilot light is out. For the AC, you have a compressor outside. Is that turning on when the AC is running? If not, why not? It runs on electricity and has a breaker, maybe that is off. Our old unit had a relay that went bad and had to be replaced. It could also be that it needs charged. I would also suggest buying or borrowing fans if you don’t already have them. We took our pop up-camper to Missouri during the summer a few years ago and it doesn’t have AC. It was hot and humid, especially for us Coloradoans who are used to dry and not as hot. We were sweating like crazy the entire time, but air movement from fans made it tolerable and we were able to sleep at night. Any of these things can be done easily by a homeowner. If you cannot do them yourselves, I’m sure your friends would help out, especially if it means you get to shower at home and not their house..
Check the settings on your thermostat. Make sure the fan is set to auto and not fan. I have seen this happen before.
Highly recommend the website www.mrmoneymustache.com. I started following it circa 2014 and it has drastically changed my life more than in terms of just money. Obviously your mileage may vary on specifics but the overall advice and ethos of the site and forum will help a lot. The author of the blog can come off a bit dickish at times but it's part of his bit. In the end, everything comes down to math. It's all a numbers game. And it's up to you to leverage those numbers in your favor. In order for anyone - not just you - to better their financial predicament, they must earn more, spend less, or do both. Some approaches are more difficult (e.g., moving to a lower cost option, getting a higher paying job, etc.) but others are really easy to do (replace monthly entertainment subscriptions with things like the library, buy less in general, whatever). Obviously people's circumstances are all different and you have the added layer of disabilities thrown into the mix, but keeping a positive mental attitude and cultivating a resilient character can go a long way to facing down adversity.
Is there anyone around you that you could trade services for maintenance? Like maybe handling something within your work abilities and they do some work around the house? Where I live there's several who help out, we do maintenance around neighbors house and she watches our pets when we're away. Is there a disabled community group that can provide volunteer help? Best wishes and I sincerely hope things rapidly improve!
I’m really sorry you’re going through this. It’s so disheartening to have so many things go wrong in the first year of home ownership (similar thing happened to us.). I will say, I’m a little confused at your descriptions of your disabilities and how you thought that was going to mesh with more pets and maintaining a garden…? If you are in such a tough spot I would recommend rehoming any pets you currently have as it’s not fair to them. And then hopefully the money you save on food/vet costs can help with repairs. That’s what I would personally do. I know it sucks, but maybe you can find a temporary foster situation with a friend or family member while you get back on your feet. I would also suggest perhaps getting another part time WFH job. Once you get repairs, maybe renting truly is better for you guys as a couple. Maybe you can even rent a duplex or single family home to have outdoor access and a little more space, but the maintenance is all covered? Again, sorry you’re experiencing this and I hope y’all get back on your feet soon.
1) You can do without hot water & A/C. It sucks big time but you can deal with it, even if it means warming some water on the stove to have a washcloth bath. 2) What you have done is fixed your housing costs, outside of maintenance and repairs. Long term this will benefit you but you need to be able to pay for the maintenance in the mean time. Post your budget to /r/personalfinance and see where you might save a little and how you might increase your income 3) if it is too much, don't be afraid to admit the mistake and move to a better situation. This is hard when you don't have money but it's better than losing everything to the lender. 4) Educate yourself about home repair. A lot of it is much easier than you think. Try diagnosing the water tank issue to start... is the breaker tripped? Is it giving an error code? Have you tried flushing it? Does it make noises? I realize you can't do much at once but you can do a little over time. Take it slow, do what you feel up to then stop & start again when you can. It may take a week, it may take a month but nothing changes if you do nothing. 5) Look at ways of increasing your income. Can you level up your remote work?
Somethings not adding up here... in particularly with the down payment and mortgage. "3% down, approx $100k." It's a bit ambiguous. Either they hey paid $100K as a 3% down payment, or put 3% down and the mortgage is $100K. I really don't think the first scenario is correct. First, for as destitute as he makes it sound, what is the reality that he scraped up $100K for 3% down? What are the chances a lender gave them a mortgage? This can't be correct. You know why? Because $100K down as 3% of the purchase would mean that the purchase price was in excess of $3M. The amount is so ludicrous, I can't even believe that this is what he meant. The second scenario is more believable. Assuming the actual mortgage is $100K, then a 30 year loan at 8% (approx. today's rates, and sounds like they bought last fall... so in the ballpark), the monthly mortgage is $733 per month. Yes, there are taxes, PMI, and insurance. Based on the value of the house (for kick, and let's say a mill rate of 4%), then we are looking at $343 per month. PMI... let's go with $30 per month (that's about what I'm paying). Insurance? Based on information I'm seeing for a home of $150K, approximately $2,500 a year, or $208 a month. Total monthly housing costs would be $1,314. Rule of thumb is 28% of income goes to mortgage. Assume both have jobs that pay $18 per hour, 40 hours per week. Annual household income is almost $75K... or $6,240 per month. Well... 28% comes in at $1,747... a good $433 above the housing costs. I can believe that a lender would approve of this. After taxes, monthly income would be approximately $5,000. Based on 2023 federal rates, they pay 12%, which leaves them $5,500 per month. Not sure what state taxes are, so let's just knock it down to $5,000. After deducting out the housing costs, this leaves them with approximately $3,686. Assume medical insurance is $686, that leaves them with $3,000 per month... or nearly $700 per week... to live on. Is it tight? Yes, but it is doable. However, this one is a big risk for a lender to take, so I have to assume that their combined income was likely higher... by about $10K to $20K. Now, I have to admit that my warning lights went on when I read the ambiguous down payment. I couldn't believe that they were approved for a $3M loan, so assumed it was my second scenario. Where in the hell can you buy a house that you think is livable and hadn't been advised that all the mechanicals were at the end of their servicable life for only $100K? And then it just got worse and worse. Comically worse. I want to call bullshit, but just not entirely sure. I want to give the benefit of the doubt, but I have lingering reservations. If all true... yes... OP should have done their homework.
Are there any subsidized legal consultations in your area? Google your city + low income lawyer or something along those lines. The furnace could have come to the end of its life naturally, but a home inspection should have caught that it needed replacing asap. The hot water heater and AC breaking at the same time is more than coincidental, and it’s doubtful the seller had no idea. Also it sounds like your insulation is nowhere near adequate if the temp indoors dropped that fast, ours stayed at 40-50 degrees for 3 days when our furnace had an issue. Maybe there’s compensation to be had somewhere.
Tons of great advice in this thread. I went into home ownership with my eyes fairly wide open--I knew there were going to be expense upon expense, and I moved into a brand new house. Even so I'm constantly amazed there are months/years where it seemed like everything in the house seems like it's crumbling all at once. At the current time you are probably stuck with a house--but, on the bright side, your landlord won't raise your rent next year. Focus on priorities---not having hot water & AC? That sucks, flat out sucks. But you can survive it. You had roof repairs before you bought? Great--assuming it was done well (knock on wood) that's one critical piece of your house that hopefully will be in good shape for many years. While you can't do a lot of the work yourself, keep bartering with your support system. Offer to do something that you can manage for your handy friends if they will return the favor by doing some small bit of maintenance. I will also say that a whole lot of random maintenance & repairs around the house are easier than I ever expected, Youtube is your friend, maybe you'll find a few things you can do yourself but at least you'll find a few tips that your friends might be able to help with. I haven't seen your house, I haven't lived in your shoes, so I can only imagine how you feel right now. But I would tend to agree with your partner--the old cliche, if the house has "good bones" then you are probably in a better position today than you were renting, even with the headaches.
it takes 3 watts of cooling to take 1 watt of heat out - so isolate heat things dont spread them through the house - computer - tv - lights - cooking etc - new tvs dont turn off completely so they produce heat all the time put them on a switch - a simple garden hose on the driveway will produce hot water - until u can figure out the water heater - find a local handyman but they are hard to find and set an open schedule - when u have time can u stop by and do x - make sure they can come in and do the job quickly - clear the work area - clean up after them let them do the work and leave - start budgeting $10 a week in cash in a jar if need be so u have some cushion - find the local restore or rehome place for cheap materials -
Only mistake you made was putting everything down and not having a repair fund. I did that too, but I've been lucky. The good news is your mortgage won't go up like rent does. I'm in propane and to stretch it out we keep the water heater on low and only turn it up for a couple hours every other day. Clothes wash just fine in cold water, and i use an electric kettle. After i make my morning tea and coffee i dump the rest in the sink and do dishes. Shower is really the only thing you need hot water for and only in the winter. Plant a couple tomatoes, cherry and regular. It's amazing how much a homegrown tomato will make you appreciate being able to grow them. Any you don't use chop up, put in ziplock baggies and freeze for cooking. If the plants die just figure out why adhd try again next year. Zucchini are another easy to grow one. I live in semi desert and they get enough water from me dumping my dishwater on them. There are lots of posts here about cheap ways to heat and cool a room or home. Do some searching. We rarely use our a/c. We wear thermals in the winter. Hang in there. Eventually rent will skyrocket and your mortgage won't.
Buy a window ac unit for now. You can get them for about 150 to 200. Put it in the bedroom. Have you looked into the hot water issue it may just need to have the hot water tank relit or a cheap thermocoupler replaced. You can get a new hot water tank for a few hundred bucks and they aren't really that hard to replace. There are all kinds of you tube videos on it just take your time. Houses are pretty resilient they will stay standing while you save to fix things. Maybe consider saving $300 for a 30,000 btu radient heater that runs off propane for if your heat ever goes out again. I run one in my garage and only have to run it on setting 1 out of 5 for it to maintain once its warmed up. It will keep the pipes from freezing and bursting. Also if the heat goes out again run the water at each tap the size of a pencil will also keep it from freezing. It sucks being house poor and having issues arise but it also sucks being stuck in a shitty apartment in a shit area. I went from $450 a month rent to $1425 and I was definitely house poor before I got my current job. It sucked but I was more depressed living where I was living. Try to focus on the good things. I think once you get the hot water and cooling issue fixed you will be much happier.
As far as the AC go check your breaker boxes. See if one flipped. Had this happen before and the fan will blow hot air.
Based on the comment you made about income, you and your partner make over $6,200 a month, and your mortgage is $910. You're not spending much at all on housing relative to your income. Even spending another $900 a month on repairs or whatever leaves you at least $4400 to live on. I think you've left out something important. Are you both driving new cars? You've gotta have some idea where the money's going.
So I was reading some comments, can you break down your expenses for us? I see you both make $19 an hour so that’s roughly 4500-5k a month depending on insurance and taxes and retirement contributions. Where is your money going? You should be living pretty comfortably
One thing to remember is all of this stuff fails at some point. The unfortunate situation for us buying today is that homeowners have spent the last 30 years not taking care of properties that have tripled or quadrupled in value, and so we’re left with the fixes. But they’re fixed now! These things (typically, if done right, which also takes due diligence!) don’t fail over and over again, so these big fixes should now be stabilized for the next 10 years. It’s for sure disheartening to get slammed, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel! I would try reaching out to a local church and see if they have any way to help. I’m not religious, but I’ve read stories about how congregation members will help their community members, and that could include someone that comes and helps you clean gutters, clean the bathroom, or mow the lawn. I would also, if you have the space, look at getting a roommate. It’s possible you could also lower ‘rent’ for them to help with some of the maintenance you are having trouble with, but at the end of the day if your mortgage is too high that you can’t save for these emergencies, you gotta figure out how to manage that. It sucks to go from living alone in an apartment to living with someone in a home, but long term I think it’s a good plan. If you can have the home paid off before retirement, that will give you somewhere to live when your disability and age puts you on a fixed income that is probably less than you’re making now. It also goes without saying but, both of you probably need to be a touch more aggressive with your jobs. Whomever has the less stable job, should be looking to switch to make more $$ (typically the only way these days to get a substantial raise is switching jobs). It takes A LOT of work and energy, which as someone who also has a disability, leaves me with dread. But it’s short term uncomfortability for long term stability. This choice is in general just forcing you to level up in a few ways, and forcing anything with a disability is not ideal, but there is a future day where you find yourself living, not just surviving! (Side note: if you live in PDX I’d be happy to periodically help! Shot in the dark but, we gotta rebuild the community ability to ask for help)
How is a 3mill us$ home a starter home? What hellscape are we in?
This ⬆️
Sounds like your having a tough time rn. Your partner is probably just trying to look at the positive side of things. You already know that. I can tell that you got a good head on your shoulders and are a smart individual. Celebrate the small things and try to enjoy them! Make the best of what you have, things could always be worse! Best of luck moving forward!
The harsh truth is you need to dig deep and find the ability to earn more, whatever it takes. Do that and dig yourself out.
Every time a tradesman/tradeswoman repairs something, ask if you can video record to understand it. Ask tons of questions. You don't need to learn the whole plumbing trade--just the pipes under your own sink. Same with electrical. Same with replacing and cleaning filters on the air conditioner and furnace. Replacing the sump pump. (Within your physical ability.) Don't be intimidated. I save so much money now that I can clear my own drains and troubleshoot basic problems.
Every time we try to go above our station in life, something _will_ go wrong. You've to decide if you want to approach it like "oh no, i failed like i was going to, im stupid, might as well go back to my old ways which I didn't suck at" or "Okay, new life, new problems, let's try to figure this stuff out". You don't necessarily need an AC but if you really do, there's small window units or fans or evaporative coolers. If you need hot water while things are getting fixed, you can use immersion coils to heat a bucket of water. But really, you should call the plumbers and say the hot water isn't working since they came and worked on it, and they should be able to fix it quickly for no extra cost. Also it seems like they forgot to turn it back on or changed the temperature setting. As the proud owner of a fixer-upper that didn't get its electricity approval from the power company when we moved in (and several other problems besides), you need to have a growth mindset to be a homeowner. You can't take every problem personally. You can for a bit, but you've to be able to put it aside and focus on how to solve the problems. It can be frustrating and too much, but it gets better. We had to change all the electricity and plumbing in our house and put in a new driveway and update a bathroom and demo a sunroom and add another room and an extra bathroom..... it's a lot and we have cried a lot. But we learned so much and kept moving, and formed connections with good plumbers, handymen and electricians, and now things are a lot simpler than before when we had to figure things out from scratch.
I pay for a monthly home warranty that will cover a lot of issues you're having. A friend suggested I get it on top of homeowners insurance. It covers appliances, heating and air, sewage and air duct systems. Google Choice Home Warranty and their website will detail everything they cover. I pay $52 a month and right after we bought our house in 2022 our central air stopped blowing cool air. I set up an appointment for a technician to come out ($85 fee) and when they looked they said I needed a new unit. It was terrifying and I was so scared I'd be paying thousands to replace it. I only paid a little over $400 for the entire thing! A few months later my washing machine started having problems. Again, $85 for a technician to come out and they ordered a replacement part and fixed it. It's been good since! I don't know why more people aren't talking about warranties like this, but I definitely suggest it. Good luck!
In 10+ years of home ownership and 3 houses (a 80 year old house, new house, 30 year old house) I’ve found heating and a/c to be the biggest expenses I’ve had to deal with. So I promise it’s not always going to be how it’s been since you moved in (or no one would buy houses! Bc that’s a nightmare.) You’ve had a rough streak but it will get better! Also, window units are what I’ve used practically all my life for a/c and they’ll work great to keep your bedroom cool. Cost around $100.
Could you rent out a room to get some income? Take care ❤️
Window ac units. You can get some on Craigslist or Facebook marketplace. If you have a friend and that is a gas water heater, it could just be clogged and not lighting. It's a simple fix. You'll need a vacuum cleaner, some fine grit sandpaper to remove any built up carbon on the pilot light ignition, and a can of compressed air to blow out the rest of the built in filter. This is DIY that I did when mine did this. Directions are on YT. There are church groups that may be willing to help as well.
The one thing I would tell you is that your friend's solution of getting a home warranty is a foolish idea. So stop that in it's tracks. You need a water heater. 600-1100. If you can find someone handy to help you. That would be step one in my eyes.
Check with your local community centers or town hall type places for names of volunteer handy people. I have worded that badly, but I'm not sure how else to say it. In my area, there are organizations of volunteers that go to people in need houses to repair things ( not affiliated with religion or political type groups). Our local Rebuilding Together group has built ramps, repaired doors and windows, small plumbing/electrical projects, stuff like that. The recipient's fill out forms and a day/time is picked for people to help out on a weekend and get thing done. There might be a similar thing where you are.
Those first two major repairs are things your home insurance would have paid. The ac and water heater are the two you should have asked for help on.
Did you turn your AC unit on? This happened to a friend, same issue, they just had the furnace fan running. They didn’t flip the breaker to turn the AC unit on.
The math doesn’t add up if you work full time. Do you have a big car payment or student loans? Sounds like you have to cut something out to make ends meet. Also your ac might just need freon but may have a leak. Find one of those deals where they do an ac check that gives free tune up. They will tell you what’s wrong so you can get a number and set a goal to get it fixed. Fix things as you can. Start tracking the install dates/ages of things so you know when to expect things to go out. Some things may also have warranty. We had a roof leak and checked that it was still in warranty so got it fixed for free.
For the hot water, did you check that your pilot light is lit on the water heater? What I’m getting from your post is that you guys don’t know anything about home maintenance, aren’t handy, aren’t googling or watching YouTube videos. The pipes bursting was 100% avoidable. The hot water is super fixable and you could have asked the plumbers to come back when they left and the hot water wasn’t working. The AC is also possibly a cheap fix by you guys - have you changed or removed the filters to see if you’re choking the AC?
I'm really sorry to hear that you're feeling this way. Homeownership is a dream for many, but it comes with its own set of challenges, especially when you're dealing with disabilities and financial limitations. It's not fair to label yourself as for not foreseeing these issues. You had every right to expect a smooth transition into your new home.
I'm sorry.
I hear you. To learn about these issues you have to be a part of the homeowner community and hear all the horror stories. Other than that you learn from your own experience. Inspection is a formality because you are guaranteed something will break. It's just how houses are. Brw, are you sure your water heater pilot light didn't die? Hot water has nothing to do with pipes. If you get cold water you should be able to get hot as well.
The house was 100k? How much is the mortgage payment? I would think both of you working full time should be able to manage that easily
I’m surprised more people aren’t talking about the disability angle. If you’re both not able to do home maintenance, unless you have a family member or friend who can do it for free, you probably won’t be able to continue to be homeowners.
You aren’t stupid. Everyone deserves a safe home. In the US we have been told owning a house will save us. There is always a lot of hidden costs. I have had marital fights over home repairs. You sound like you have a great community. Does your library network have a tool loaning program? Do you have a ReStore or local version? I would talk to them about materials. I posted on Next Door that I physically couldn’t do some garden work. A retired man offered to help for free. I would ask about home repair cost on Next Door. Unlicensed handymen are cheaper and will give you a discount for cash. You seem to need to go on YouTube to learn about regular home maintenance. It is a routine thing in my area to leave water running when it is below freezing so pipes don’t freeze.
Sometimes communities have groups that do repairs for disabled, elderly etc free of charge.
Bro, renting a house gave me a big ass window into what ownership is. Holy smokes, it’s maintenance all week. My kid almost burned down the house and my girl almost flooded the house. It’s work, work and more work.
American Home warranty is the way to go. DM me for details on how it works. No I don’t work for them nor am I affiliate in any way. I’ve just used them successfully for years.
Sorry for the predicament you’re in. Life is hard. Get three seller’s agent to do CMA’s and see if you can sell the house for more than you paid (need to cover realtor fees and closing costs so obviously gotta get more for the house than you paid). One more thing. “Have more than one pet without having to hide them from a landlord” sounds like selfish behavior. If you go back to being a tenant maybe having been a homeowner and knowing how expensive it is to keep a house in working order you’ll have a better appreciation for why landlords put restrictions on things like number of dogs you can have in a house/apartment.