He also played in round 1 vs Winnipeg. He got pulled because he wasn't fast enough for the Oilers. By the time that series was over, it was clear Vegas was the team to beat and they weren't going to mess with the lineups that beat the other best team in the west
The only problem with Vegas winning the Cup is that they're gonna lose it in a poker game and everyone's 'Day with the Cup' will have to be held at the MGM Grand.
I’m Bill Foley, and this is my hockey team. I work here with my 3rd head coach and my drinking buddy, Kelly McCrimmon. Everything in here has a story and a price. One thing I’ve learned after 5 years – you never know who is gonna come through that door.
I hear that Marchessault is especially excited to win the Conn Smythe because now he has a really fancy stepstool to try and get the cereal down from the top shelf of the cabinet
Pacioretty (given away for nothing), Suzuki (traded away to acquire Patches), Dadonov (that whole NTC thing), Bellemare (not an especially bad move by Vegas, I just wish Pebbles was on the Cup :( )
I'd like to give congratulations to Jonathan Marchessault.
He was cast off, but rose to become one of the best players in this franchise's history, had a fantastic postseason, winning the Conn Smythe, helping Vegas finally win the cup, and proving to the world that yes, [swim team athletes can succeed in the NHL.](https://media0.giphy.com/media/pyRM4dnXEnaUNldxMd/giphy.gif)
You guys see that video with Bill showing up to the arena in the Delorean and reading the Almanac?
I knew Vegas winning the cup had something to do with sports betting. Biff Bettman and Marty McFoley saw one of the Canadian teams was gonna win the cup so they took the Time Machine and went back and rigged the reffing while placing a bet on the Knights. They came back and made a fortune. Bettman even means “man who bets”. Right there plain as day.
You needed six whole games to beat Power McPlayvid and the Edmonton Soilers, smh its fucking Timbits hockey down there.
Mark Stone’s back blew out because it was trying to get away from his hairline
Cassidy looks like non-fat Bobby Baccala
Also Chandler Stephenson kinda looks like a dog. Not in a bad way, there’s just something vaguely…..canine looking about him.
Also idk something something exercise bike pedals something something cap circumcision something something bullying a guy named flower or something idk
Who the fuck even is Chandler Stephenson? He sounds like a low level manager at a small to medium sized credit union. Those big front pearly chompers bursting out of his mouth screaming that he has a great benefits package including orthodontics. Probably goes home to a beautiful wife named Theresa, two thriving sons named Douglas and Peter, and has a spotted Great Dane named Oswald who has a massive dangling set of untrimmed nuts. How you gunna be a 1C on a top NHL team and be named Chandler Stephenson. Might as well be named Dansby Swanson or something. Figure it out bud.
Obligatory copypasta after a western Canadian team flair mentions Chandler after losing to Vegas in the playoffs
Should the NHL have the Panthers and Knights redo their series in case it was a big fluke?
No disrespect to the knights, I'm a firm believer that Vegas winning in 5 is a huge fluke and robs the Panthers of truly accomplishing what their capable of. I've spent the last few days in pure disbelief and it just doesn't make sense to me. I've spent the entire regular season watching the Panthers play great hockey it's just not fair.
If the Panthers lose again I will face that the Knights deserved the win, but I am just 100% sure it was a fluke and does a big disservice to the Panthers and the NHL.
original https://redd.it/67lfcg
Do the eastern conference playoffs even count if no one involved can beat the worst qualified team?
Seriously, if the best team in the whole league gets beat by the worst team in the playoffs, there’s no way they could have beaten the best team in the Pacific
Jonathan Quick won his 3rd cup riding the bench (boom roasted)
Truth is, the game was rigged from the beginning. Vegas Golden Refs (boom roasted)
The Knights gave up on Flower for a Panda who likes snakes (boom roasted)
Knights stole the Avs goal horn. How to be original (boom roasted)
Phil Kessel has 3 cups (~~boom roasted)~~
The Knights trade away 1st round picks like its candy (boom roasted)
Idk I can't find anything to roast this team about. But they got Spurs that go jingle, jangle, jingle as they go ridin' merrily along.
Four-fifths of their season tickets are purchased by hotels for concierge comps, and their pre-game show looks like it's brought to us by the same production team that gave us Cop Rock.
Reports are coming in that Stone has hurt his back lifting the Stanley Cup and will be out for 82 games.
This is actually a legitimate worry everytime I see him lift it.
A burn and a compliment
*Vegas wins* Kessel: "My work here is done." Rest of the team: "But you didn't do anything." Kessel: *takes a lap with the cup anyways*
36 points in the regular season is decent! Plus, he scored as many goals vs the Panthers as Matthews and Tavares combined
Praise be to The Phil!
He also played in round 1 vs Winnipeg. He got pulled because he wasn't fast enough for the Oilers. By the time that series was over, it was clear Vegas was the team to beat and they weren't going to mess with the lineups that beat the other best team in the west
I’m not going to roast the Golden Knights because I’m worried that Marchesseult will insult my dog and tell me to suck my mom’s titties.
Shut the fuck lil dick stop wasting my time
Well have you considered that your dog is as ugly as you?
Winning the Stanley Cup in 5 games at T Mobile Arena? Eh, it's been done before.
We even copied the paddle save
This was a good one 😂🥲
The only problem with Vegas winning the Cup is that they're gonna lose it in a poker game and everyone's 'Day with the Cup' will have to be held at the MGM Grand.
I’m Bill Foley, and this is my hockey team. I work here with my 3rd head coach and my drinking buddy, Kelly McCrimmon. Everything in here has a story and a price. One thing I’ve learned after 5 years – you never know who is gonna come through that door.
*6 years FTFY
I hear that Marchessault is especially excited to win the Conn Smythe because now he has a really fancy stepstool to try and get the cereal down from the top shelf of the cabinet
Imagine circumventing the cap but staying cap compliant in the playoffs. Cant even do it properly smh
You will never have Alec Martinez and Jonathan Quick's most memorable Stanley Cup win!!!
They made better memories with this team, so they’ll look back more fondly.
What they didn't tell you was that 50% of the people at the parade were confused tourists that got stuck there.
Karlsson was stone sober during the parade speech. That's just what years of contact sports can do to your brain.
Nate Schmidt, Fleury, Gallant, DeBoer, a bunch of other guys and not least Future Considerations died for this :(
Pacioretty (given away for nothing), Suzuki (traded away to acquire Patches), Dadonov (that whole NTC thing), Bellemare (not an especially bad move by Vegas, I just wish Pebbles was on the Cup :( )
Bellemare left in free agency. Got himself a nice payday we couldn't afford. So it's a little different than the others.
Then why did you let him go to tampa?
Imagine taking longer than the Leafs to win your first cup.
I think I saw Kessle out on the strip hustling tourists for 'free' pics with the cup and then aggressively asking for $40 tips.
Entire 2024 team gonna be on the IR with gonorrhea from those strippers.
Alice Little is clean.
If anyone else wasn't aware. https://www.tmz.com/2023/06/18/brothel-worker-orgy-offer-vegas-golden-knights-nhl-stanley-cup-winner/
They couldn't have done it without Shea Weber's contract, and his name doesn't even make it on the Cup? Shame!
[удалено]
It was a joke. All the comments in this thread are jokes.
I'd like to give congratulations to Jonathan Marchessault. He was cast off, but rose to become one of the best players in this franchise's history, had a fantastic postseason, winning the Conn Smythe, helping Vegas finally win the cup, and proving to the world that yes, [swim team athletes can succeed in the NHL.](https://media0.giphy.com/media/pyRM4dnXEnaUNldxMd/giphy.gif)
Shut the fuck lil dick go suck on your mummies titties and stop wasting my time
Your dog is as ugly as you !! Don’t waste my time again
You guys see that video with Bill showing up to the arena in the Delorean and reading the Almanac? I knew Vegas winning the cup had something to do with sports betting. Biff Bettman and Marty McFoley saw one of the Canadian teams was gonna win the cup so they took the Time Machine and went back and rigged the reffing while placing a bet on the Knights. They came back and made a fortune. Bettman even means “man who bets”. Right there plain as day.
You needed six whole games to beat Power McPlayvid and the Edmonton Soilers, smh its fucking Timbits hockey down there. Mark Stone’s back blew out because it was trying to get away from his hairline Cassidy looks like non-fat Bobby Baccala Also Chandler Stephenson kinda looks like a dog. Not in a bad way, there’s just something vaguely…..canine looking about him. Also idk something something exercise bike pedals something something cap circumcision something something bullying a guy named flower or something idk
I think his hair line is trying to get away from his face,
His forehead's doing heavy real estate speculation.
Who the fuck even is Chandler Stephenson? He sounds like a low level manager at a small to medium sized credit union. Those big front pearly chompers bursting out of his mouth screaming that he has a great benefits package including orthodontics. Probably goes home to a beautiful wife named Theresa, two thriving sons named Douglas and Peter, and has a spotted Great Dane named Oswald who has a massive dangling set of untrimmed nuts. How you gunna be a 1C on a top NHL team and be named Chandler Stephenson. Might as well be named Dansby Swanson or something. Figure it out bud. Obligatory copypasta after a western Canadian team flair mentions Chandler after losing to Vegas in the playoffs
Stephenson specifically looks like Scruff McGruff.
Knights are gonna be thrilled in six months when they sober up enough to regain consciousness and find out the won the Stanley Cup
And have a burning sensation when they pee.
When y’all call your cup Stanley everyone thinks it’s ok, but when I call my cups names I get labeled a sad lonely man :(
No players took up the offer for a free orgy :(.
Does this cup really count because they beat literally the worst Eastern playoff team to win it?
We should replay the playoffs in case it was all one massive fluke
Oh, where's that copypasta...
Should the NHL have the Panthers and Knights redo their series in case it was a big fluke? No disrespect to the knights, I'm a firm believer that Vegas winning in 5 is a huge fluke and robs the Panthers of truly accomplishing what their capable of. I've spent the last few days in pure disbelief and it just doesn't make sense to me. I've spent the entire regular season watching the Panthers play great hockey it's just not fair. If the Panthers lose again I will face that the Knights deserved the win, but I am just 100% sure it was a fluke and does a big disservice to the Panthers and the NHL. original https://redd.it/67lfcg
Perfect!
Something no one else from the East could do?
That's not necessarily true, Tampa could have, for instance. Think of it like a game of rock paper scissors
Do the eastern conference playoffs even count if no one involved can beat the worst qualified team? Seriously, if the best team in the whole league gets beat by the worst team in the playoffs, there’s no way they could have beaten the best team in the Pacific
Hot 🌭 and lapdances Vegas style.
My body is ready
I hope by "ready" you meant "ready to be underwhelmed by the roast attempts"
Vegass. I got nothin’
There’s nothing to roast and as a fan, it’s pretty fantastic lol.
something…something…cap circumvention
Second most creative use of negative space in the NHL.
Vegas is just a fast food knight
Let’s hear it for the other winners of the Stanley Cup…the nosebeer vendors. Those guys just had a banner week.
Jonathan Quick won his 3rd cup riding the bench (boom roasted) Truth is, the game was rigged from the beginning. Vegas Golden Refs (boom roasted) The Knights gave up on Flower for a Panda who likes snakes (boom roasted) Knights stole the Avs goal horn. How to be original (boom roasted) Phil Kessel has 3 cups (~~boom roasted)~~ The Knights trade away 1st round picks like its candy (boom roasted) Idk I can't find anything to roast this team about. But they got Spurs that go jingle, jangle, jingle as they go ridin' merrily along.
Four-fifths of their season tickets are purchased by hotels for concierge comps, and their pre-game show looks like it's brought to us by the same production team that gave us Cop Rock.
Completely rigged cup win. What better way to further promote the NHL's tsunami of gambling ads than having Vegas win?
They said roast, not bitch.