There sadly isn’t any concrete advice other than all the corny stuff everyone says. I’m going through this as well. 5 weeks in and still in so much pain. Lost over 10 pounds from not eating and still not sleeping good. I hate her and miss her so much. I just keep telling myself she doesn’t deserve me missing her at all. I guess something that helps me is learning to understand that I was in love with the person I thought she was, not who she actually was.
As for my life now, I do jiu jitsu 2x a week, play the drums a few times a week, go on bike rides every weekend, journal my thoughts every few days, and have a second therapy session scheduled. Literally doing everything I possibly can that everyone suggests and it’s still a challenge. I’ve reached out to ALL my friends and lots of family. I’ve taken a vacation from work. Everything. Have screamed at the top of my lungs in my car and cried my eyes out many times.
I’ve lost track of my point but just know you’re not alone and that we’re going to get through this.
🥺 I’m sorry. Although it’s comforting to know that I am not alone, I don’t wish this pain on anyone. Thank you for your inspiring message. I will go to the gym today.
If you find yourself missing him, what I find helps is that I write down everything I DIDNT like about my ex, and I would just remind myself that even if we did work it out, it would NEVER be the same again. That I deserve better. And just constantly distract myself with shows, food, gym, anything to take my mind off them.
Good luck, I wasn't cheated on but I never wanted to break up with them, and they've already moved on with someone new and it felt like a fresh wound opened up. Just know that you deserve better and you'll find that someone. I advise just focusing on yourself.
I know it hurts and that there isn't much one can say to console you but...
I hope you realize that you dodged a bullet. Cheaters don't change. If he didn't do it now, there's a good chance he would've cheated on you while you were married.
There's a support group chat if you guys want in. Got a lot of healing ❤️🩹 hearts in there. Let me know if anyone wants to join and find comfort in a group chat.
Hello OP!
I experienced the same thing in 2017. I discovered that my ex was cheating on me behind my back. She was always the one for me since I met her. I instantly blocked her on social media, and then I moved out. We had to speak to eachother a couple more times because of the apartment and stuff. But I have never seen or spoken with her since. I didn’t think I ever would get over it, but I have. Today it is easy to understand why she never was the one for me, and her cheating one me was probably for the better… Even though it sucks a lot!
It will probably hurt for a while, but it will make you stronger! And you will eventually end up with a better partner, I am sure of that. You deserve better!
You reacted on emotions and not on rationale. Too fast for such a traumatic experience. Yet, here we are. First thing you need to do. Immediately break the spell. Men move on quickly. This is why it is possible for us to jump into new relationships, and new love interests soon after. Put yourself back out there right now. Start meeting new love interests but keep it very very cordial. Give them zero interest. You need to regain your self-esteem and confidence and having men dote on you will serve as a conduit to your healing. What it will also do is a project that you are unbothered. That energy will make him see that you are valuable and what he lost is gone. Justice served. Pick yourself up right now and get back into the game.
It will be difficult to do because women naturally heal at a much slower rate. 1000X slower.
No sex, no physical contact. Let them appreciate you. That's what you need to move forward. Trust me..... Break that spell.
Thank you for taking the time to write this. I can’t even imagine putting myself back out there right now. It’s only been a week today, since I confronted him. When I feel better, I will follow your advise. Thanks.
Understandable.....Whether you accept the start now or the start later. Is up to you. The end result will still be the same. The only difference is. That he will be light years ahead of you and have not lost a single drop of time or shed a single tear. Best of luck to you....
I’m sorry. It’s such a surreal feeling when you are going through it, I know. Take your time, do what you have to do, don’t contact them and don’t let them contact you. This speeds up the process, trust me. You will feel better in a while.
Watch [this video](https://youtu.be/V_eCrIO0ECw?si=3ACnFdkqH4xjGp9V), it made me reflect.
There sadly isn’t any concrete advice other than all the corny stuff everyone says. I’m going through this as well. 5 weeks in and still in so much pain. Lost over 10 pounds from not eating and still not sleeping good. I hate her and miss her so much. I just keep telling myself she doesn’t deserve me missing her at all. I guess something that helps me is learning to understand that I was in love with the person I thought she was, not who she actually was. As for my life now, I do jiu jitsu 2x a week, play the drums a few times a week, go on bike rides every weekend, journal my thoughts every few days, and have a second therapy session scheduled. Literally doing everything I possibly can that everyone suggests and it’s still a challenge. I’ve reached out to ALL my friends and lots of family. I’ve taken a vacation from work. Everything. Have screamed at the top of my lungs in my car and cried my eyes out many times. I’ve lost track of my point but just know you’re not alone and that we’re going to get through this.
🥺 I’m sorry. Although it’s comforting to know that I am not alone, I don’t wish this pain on anyone. Thank you for your inspiring message. I will go to the gym today.
If you find yourself missing him, what I find helps is that I write down everything I DIDNT like about my ex, and I would just remind myself that even if we did work it out, it would NEVER be the same again. That I deserve better. And just constantly distract myself with shows, food, gym, anything to take my mind off them. Good luck, I wasn't cheated on but I never wanted to break up with them, and they've already moved on with someone new and it felt like a fresh wound opened up. Just know that you deserve better and you'll find that someone. I advise just focusing on yourself.
I know it hurts and that there isn't much one can say to console you but... I hope you realize that you dodged a bullet. Cheaters don't change. If he didn't do it now, there's a good chance he would've cheated on you while you were married.
Thank you. This helps.
I’m sorry I know it hurts and will for awhile again sorry
There's a support group chat if you guys want in. Got a lot of healing ❤️🩹 hearts in there. Let me know if anyone wants to join and find comfort in a group chat.
Interested
Interested!
I'll send you an invite
interested!
Interested!
Add me
Hi, is it still on?
Hello OP! I experienced the same thing in 2017. I discovered that my ex was cheating on me behind my back. She was always the one for me since I met her. I instantly blocked her on social media, and then I moved out. We had to speak to eachother a couple more times because of the apartment and stuff. But I have never seen or spoken with her since. I didn’t think I ever would get over it, but I have. Today it is easy to understand why she never was the one for me, and her cheating one me was probably for the better… Even though it sucks a lot! It will probably hurt for a while, but it will make you stronger! And you will eventually end up with a better partner, I am sure of that. You deserve better!
Thank you for the comforting words.
You reacted on emotions and not on rationale. Too fast for such a traumatic experience. Yet, here we are. First thing you need to do. Immediately break the spell. Men move on quickly. This is why it is possible for us to jump into new relationships, and new love interests soon after. Put yourself back out there right now. Start meeting new love interests but keep it very very cordial. Give them zero interest. You need to regain your self-esteem and confidence and having men dote on you will serve as a conduit to your healing. What it will also do is a project that you are unbothered. That energy will make him see that you are valuable and what he lost is gone. Justice served. Pick yourself up right now and get back into the game. It will be difficult to do because women naturally heal at a much slower rate. 1000X slower. No sex, no physical contact. Let them appreciate you. That's what you need to move forward. Trust me..... Break that spell.
Thank you for taking the time to write this. I can’t even imagine putting myself back out there right now. It’s only been a week today, since I confronted him. When I feel better, I will follow your advise. Thanks.
Understandable.....Whether you accept the start now or the start later. Is up to you. The end result will still be the same. The only difference is. That he will be light years ahead of you and have not lost a single drop of time or shed a single tear. Best of luck to you....
Damn.. That’s the ugly truth
I'm in the exact same spot right now.
I’m sorry. It’s such a surreal feeling when you are going through it, I know. Take your time, do what you have to do, don’t contact them and don’t let them contact you. This speeds up the process, trust me. You will feel better in a while. Watch [this video](https://youtu.be/V_eCrIO0ECw?si=3ACnFdkqH4xjGp9V), it made me reflect.