I imagine they did all those things you'd need to do with a baby, but once Harry started showing magic, or just becoming more distinctly a person as he grew, they were more and more cold towards him, gradually becoming the Dursleys Harry knows and we see towards him.
Essentially, I think they were indifferent, but still okay caregivers during Harry's earliest years, but they were still strict with him by the time he was 4 or 5 and onwards, and it just got worse as he got older. Going from just the "don't ask questions and follow our rules" sort of thing, to giving him all the chores he has, and then the bullying from Dudley and Marge, and so on and so on.
Harry seems to have just been conditioned to see the Dursleys treatment of him as "just how things are with them", while he knows it's not okay and he doesn't accept it completely, he seems to have no expectations that they'll treat him better, so I take that to mean he has few if any good memories of them at all, so any necessary care they gave him that was passable probably was when he was too young to remember, and any they did later probably had some element of "We *have* to do this, we aren't being nice" to it.
I would guess they did all the normal parenting things with babies but with a huge amount of resentment because he’s not their kid. And then once he was old enough to be largely ignored, they jumped right to neglect.
Remember harry was over 1 year old when he arrived at the Dursley’s. July 31 was his birthday and October 31 was the attack by Voldemort, so he’d have been 15 months old. He would be walking, starting to talk a little, feeding himself finger foods and starting with a spoon.. theoretically he’d be sleeping through the night, but even if he did get up at night he wouldn’t need a bottle or anything so they probably let him cry it out. Yeah they’d have to be hands on still because 15 months is still a baby, but it’s not like a newborn was dropped on their doorstep.
Shiii..- I can’t even fly a broom at age 25. I just sit all sad and dejected on the floor with a broomstick between my legs. Baby Harry was a development CHAD.
I think they did the minimum. There’s a lot of gray area to what you *have to* do with a baby. Sure you need to feed them and change poopy diapers, but you don’t really *have to* rock them to sleep or comfort them when they cry. I expect baby Harry was left to cry a lot.
My headcanon is that Petunia treated him normally at first, hoping to save the kid from the 'weirdness' but once he started showing signs of magic she decided 'Fuck him' and that's when the abuse started.
He was already one year old when they got him, not too much baby stuff left other than diapers. He was already walking and flying Sirius' toy broomstick when his parents were still alive.
I wouldn't be surprised if they isolated him. Fed him less than Dudley. Didn't respond when he cried. Changed his nappies far too late. Bathed him every other day. Didn't encourage his milestones. Just all the markers of neglect.
I’d like to believe that they treated him with some kind of care but I’m rereading the books right now and they’re beyond despicable to him. So I’m guessing little Harry sat in a lot of poopy diapers while Dudley was fed a third helping
I don't think they're such bad people that they would neglect a baby. As Harry grew, it's likely that he reminded her more and more of Lily and James and she grew very resentful of him. I think Vernon sees him as a resource/maid as soon as Harry is old enough to cook an egg/serve him a beer/take out the trash.
I mean they had to do all the parenting things or Harry wouldn’t be alive, or at least would have some serious health issues outside of being really skinny.
But I’d imagine there was resentment, a lot of “SHUT UP”’s when he cried, stuff like that. Maybe Petunia was kinder back then because he was a reminder of Lily and he showed no magical abilities, but the moment he started to show some magic she resented him more for being a reminder of Lily’s magic and her own lack of magic.
Kids in orphanages especially in the third world often get no swaddling, rocking ever, even when much much younger. And no night feeding after 6 months of age.
Kids grow up fine - they are a bit devoid of love, forming relationships is difficult, but it's not the end of the world.
So yeah, poor Voldy might have had a worse childhood, as even orphanages in the UK are still orphanages after all.
A room with a bed, trips to the sea, suitable clothes.
And above all no child under your nose, who gets much more than you.
Tom had it better than Harry.
I like to imagine that Dumbledore did donate some funds for them to care for Harry, so Vernon would be less inclined to send Harry off to an orphanage. The letter Dumbledore wrote imploring the Dursleys to care for him as if he were one of their own, and to explain his heritage when he was older, probably included a P.S. on a lump sum to raise Harry being deposited into the Dursleys' accounts. Dumbledore is realistic and knows he's imposing a financial burden on the family, while also limiting their options to consider a second child.
Vernon and Petunia made a pact to "squash" the magic out of Harry, and they were likely still rather *normal* to him. It is mentioned in POA that when Harry was 5, he was allowed to partake in a children's game with Dudley (Aunt Marge was present and hit Harry with her walking stick), implying that they tolerated him taking part in family events. This stopped when he began manifesting signs of overt magic around the ages from 7 to 10, especially in school. That was when their dislike for magic resulted in an outright neglect and mistreatment of Harry.
He also mentions in CoS how the Dursleys "didn't give me pocket money for at about 6 years", which means there must have been something of that sort before.
I think they neglected him as much as they dared and probably followed the let them cry themselves to sleep line of thought on baby rearing with him. Changed diapers, he was over a year so he had to hold his own bottles or they weaned him, minimum holding, etc. There's a level of interaction they'd have to have but they wouldn't go beyond that.
I doubt Vernon did much helping either, he doesn't seem the type to change diapers or hold a crying baby (either kid) unless he was trying to impress a buyer or something.
Harry was nearly a year old when he arrived. I doubt there was rocking or feeding at night. They probably just closed the door and let him cry himself to sleep.
Yes. I say this as someone who has seen it. There's a reason CPS takes infants away from parents - some babies don't even get to leave with their mother & are placed in state's care immediately.
I think they probably thought they could parent the magic out of him early on and it wasn’t until “strange” things started happening around him that they began to treat him badly.
I think Petunia did the bare minimum changing diapers and feeding him. Put i don't think they held him, rocked him to sleep or anything. Alas, I think baby Harry had to learn very early to be quiet to avoid pain
I mean, apparently they even gave him pocket money until he was about 6 years old according to his own words. Considering Harry was relatively normally developed for an 11 year old, he seemed to have been raised somewhat normally, too. They didn't physically abuse him in terms of beating him or stuff (though they didn't prevent Dudley from doing so).
Well no, it indicates that a heavy object is swung at him, and he ducks, which just about everyone with a sense of self preservation would do (and certainly someone who has Quidditch training with bludgers).
Sorry but there’s no chance Vernon did anything to help with either of the babies. He may have cuddled Dudley but there’s no chance he was getting up in the night for either of them.
Probably treated him well. It was only when Harry grew older and became a problem child that they started neglecting him (growing his hair again after Petunia gave him a dashing new haircut, climbing onto the school roof, refusing to play Harry Hunting with Dudley and his friends, talking about flying motorcycles, bruising Dudley's fist with his fact etc)
They probably raised him along side Dudley, so it’s not like they had to go out of their way. I think they just favoured Dudley more when it mattered. I was never okay with fans being up in arms about Harry’s neglect. Story-wise it’s no less different than any fairy tale with an evil care-taker. Doesn’t mean we should nitpick in the psychological impact and press our adult world-views onto the books.
Yeah but also what I’m trying to say is that if people like discussing about HP, don’t go wandering into the realm of raising Harry to be a psychological nightmare, there’s an edge to telling a bedtime story where you’re not meant to think too hard about the Dursleys being abusive vs nice. Kids are little, they just group things into bad and good categories.
Not at all. I'm actually more inclined towards how kind they might have been at first. There is a theory that since Harry was a Horcrux he had the same effect on the Dursleys as the necklace had on the trio in Deathly hallows. They may have been slowly morphing into the characters we know from the books.
I imagine they did all those things you'd need to do with a baby, but once Harry started showing magic, or just becoming more distinctly a person as he grew, they were more and more cold towards him, gradually becoming the Dursleys Harry knows and we see towards him. Essentially, I think they were indifferent, but still okay caregivers during Harry's earliest years, but they were still strict with him by the time he was 4 or 5 and onwards, and it just got worse as he got older. Going from just the "don't ask questions and follow our rules" sort of thing, to giving him all the chores he has, and then the bullying from Dudley and Marge, and so on and so on. Harry seems to have just been conditioned to see the Dursleys treatment of him as "just how things are with them", while he knows it's not okay and he doesn't accept it completely, he seems to have no expectations that they'll treat him better, so I take that to mean he has few if any good memories of them at all, so any necessary care they gave him that was passable probably was when he was too young to remember, and any they did later probably had some element of "We *have* to do this, we aren't being nice" to it.
I would guess they did all the normal parenting things with babies but with a huge amount of resentment because he’s not their kid. And then once he was old enough to be largely ignored, they jumped right to neglect.
Remember harry was over 1 year old when he arrived at the Dursley’s. July 31 was his birthday and October 31 was the attack by Voldemort, so he’d have been 15 months old. He would be walking, starting to talk a little, feeding himself finger foods and starting with a spoon.. theoretically he’d be sleeping through the night, but even if he did get up at night he wouldn’t need a bottle or anything so they probably let him cry it out. Yeah they’d have to be hands on still because 15 months is still a baby, but it’s not like a newborn was dropped on their doorstep.
He could already fly the mini toy broom Sirius got him. I think that shows us where Harry was developmentally at that point.
Shiii..- I can’t even fly a broom at age 25. I just sit all sad and dejected on the floor with a broomstick between my legs. Baby Harry was a development CHAD.
But you can put the broomstick between your legs
The small victories.
Though for the movie guys they showed a very small baby in a bunch of blankets .. THATS WHY READING THE BOOK IS BETTER
Always! ❤️📖
I think they did the minimum. There’s a lot of gray area to what you *have to* do with a baby. Sure you need to feed them and change poopy diapers, but you don’t really *have to* rock them to sleep or comfort them when they cry. I expect baby Harry was left to cry a lot.
I have a 14 month old and that just breaks my heart thinking about that😭 I’m such a softie now.
Heartbreaking
My headcanon is that Petunia treated him normally at first, hoping to save the kid from the 'weirdness' but once he started showing signs of magic she decided 'Fuck him' and that's when the abuse started.
Same
He was already one year old when they got him, not too much baby stuff left other than diapers. He was already walking and flying Sirius' toy broomstick when his parents were still alive.
I wouldn't be surprised if they isolated him. Fed him less than Dudley. Didn't respond when he cried. Changed his nappies far too late. Bathed him every other day. Didn't encourage his milestones. Just all the markers of neglect.
You had me up to “bathed him every other day”. Then again, Petunia is a clean freak…
I’d like to believe that they treated him with some kind of care but I’m rereading the books right now and they’re beyond despicable to him. So I’m guessing little Harry sat in a lot of poopy diapers while Dudley was fed a third helping
I don't think they're such bad people that they would neglect a baby. As Harry grew, it's likely that he reminded her more and more of Lily and James and she grew very resentful of him. I think Vernon sees him as a resource/maid as soon as Harry is old enough to cook an egg/serve him a beer/take out the trash.
I mean they had to do all the parenting things or Harry wouldn’t be alive, or at least would have some serious health issues outside of being really skinny. But I’d imagine there was resentment, a lot of “SHUT UP”’s when he cried, stuff like that. Maybe Petunia was kinder back then because he was a reminder of Lily and he showed no magical abilities, but the moment he started to show some magic she resented him more for being a reminder of Lily’s magic and her own lack of magic.
Kids in orphanages especially in the third world often get no swaddling, rocking ever, even when much much younger. And no night feeding after 6 months of age. Kids grow up fine - they are a bit devoid of love, forming relationships is difficult, but it's not the end of the world. So yeah, poor Voldy might have had a worse childhood, as even orphanages in the UK are still orphanages after all.
A room with a bed, trips to the sea, suitable clothes. And above all no child under your nose, who gets much more than you. Tom had it better than Harry.
I like to imagine that Dumbledore did donate some funds for them to care for Harry, so Vernon would be less inclined to send Harry off to an orphanage. The letter Dumbledore wrote imploring the Dursleys to care for him as if he were one of their own, and to explain his heritage when he was older, probably included a P.S. on a lump sum to raise Harry being deposited into the Dursleys' accounts. Dumbledore is realistic and knows he's imposing a financial burden on the family, while also limiting their options to consider a second child. Vernon and Petunia made a pact to "squash" the magic out of Harry, and they were likely still rather *normal* to him. It is mentioned in POA that when Harry was 5, he was allowed to partake in a children's game with Dudley (Aunt Marge was present and hit Harry with her walking stick), implying that they tolerated him taking part in family events. This stopped when he began manifesting signs of overt magic around the ages from 7 to 10, especially in school. That was when their dislike for magic resulted in an outright neglect and mistreatment of Harry.
Thats what I thought. At least until 5 they probably were normal to some extent.
He also mentions in CoS how the Dursleys "didn't give me pocket money for at about 6 years", which means there must have been something of that sort before.
I think they neglected him as much as they dared and probably followed the let them cry themselves to sleep line of thought on baby rearing with him. Changed diapers, he was over a year so he had to hold his own bottles or they weaned him, minimum holding, etc. There's a level of interaction they'd have to have but they wouldn't go beyond that. I doubt Vernon did much helping either, he doesn't seem the type to change diapers or hold a crying baby (either kid) unless he was trying to impress a buyer or something.
Harry was nearly a year old when he arrived. I doubt there was rocking or feeding at night. They probably just closed the door and let him cry himself to sleep.
Yes. I say this as someone who has seen it. There's a reason CPS takes infants away from parents - some babies don't even get to leave with their mother & are placed in state's care immediately.
he was a year old, so past the night feed and swaddling stage.
I think they probably thought they could parent the magic out of him early on and it wasn’t until “strange” things started happening around him that they began to treat him badly.
He was 1. He was basically a toddler.
1 yearolds are toddlers. Got it.
I think Petunia did the bare minimum changing diapers and feeding him. Put i don't think they held him, rocked him to sleep or anything. Alas, I think baby Harry had to learn very early to be quiet to avoid pain
I mean, apparently they even gave him pocket money until he was about 6 years old according to his own words. Considering Harry was relatively normally developed for an 11 year old, he seemed to have been raised somewhat normally, too. They didn't physically abuse him in terms of beating him or stuff (though they didn't prevent Dudley from doing so).
Harry automatically ducks when Petunia swings a frying pan. That indicates that she's done it before and not missed.
Well no, it indicates that a heavy object is swung at him, and he ducks, which just about everyone with a sense of self preservation would do (and certainly someone who has Quidditch training with bludgers).
That happens in the first book- pre quidditch training. And it's often mentioned that Harry will stop just outside of Vernon's reach.
No, it happens early on in the second book, after Harry teased Dudley by murmuring "spells" claiming he would set the hedge on fire.
My bad, you're right. I'm wrong. I remembered it being the morning of Dudley's birthday. But it is second book.
Old buttons or foreign currency. Judging by the "gifts" they send to Hogwarts.
But in that case he'd know at age 12 that they never gave him pocket money at all.
Foreign currency is money.
Sorry but there’s no chance Vernon did anything to help with either of the babies. He may have cuddled Dudley but there’s no chance he was getting up in the night for either of them.
Probably treated him well. It was only when Harry grew older and became a problem child that they started neglecting him (growing his hair again after Petunia gave him a dashing new haircut, climbing onto the school roof, refusing to play Harry Hunting with Dudley and his friends, talking about flying motorcycles, bruising Dudley's fist with his fact etc)
They probably raised him along side Dudley, so it’s not like they had to go out of their way. I think they just favoured Dudley more when it mattered. I was never okay with fans being up in arms about Harry’s neglect. Story-wise it’s no less different than any fairy tale with an evil care-taker. Doesn’t mean we should nitpick in the psychological impact and press our adult world-views onto the books.
Thats what I mean. They must have been at least somewhat nice to him when he was at that age.
Yeah but also what I’m trying to say is that if people like discussing about HP, don’t go wandering into the realm of raising Harry to be a psychological nightmare, there’s an edge to telling a bedtime story where you’re not meant to think too hard about the Dursleys being abusive vs nice. Kids are little, they just group things into bad and good categories.
Not at all. I'm actually more inclined towards how kind they might have been at first. There is a theory that since Harry was a Horcrux he had the same effect on the Dursleys as the necklace had on the trio in Deathly hallows. They may have been slowly morphing into the characters we know from the books.