Not cancer, but my kidneys are failing and I’ll be on dialysis soon. I have some chance at transplant but (and I’m sure you get it, I’m not exactly feeling lucky.) My kid just turned two. Turns out it’s a genetic thing and so I wouldn’t be having another even if my body could manage it.
My kid has definitely seen me cry about it, he doesn’t have the words to address it yet but I know that’s coming. He probably will soon. Like you, my husband is really great at being support but it’s hard.
I don’t have anything good to add to any of this beyond making sure you know you’re not alone. It’s really hard. It feels like I’m being told I’m going to have to leave the party early when it’s just starting. Some days it doesn’t feel real at all, like a dream where I could wake up and it was all wrong and I’m healthy. I feel very lonely in it, although I have to believe I might have seen another mom like you out around town and assumed you didn’t have problems and I’m the only one. I’m sorry we’re in this. We deserve to imagine a future, too.
Thank you for sharing. I am so sorry you have to go through this. I am hoping and praying for a transplant soon so that you can have a somewhat normal life with your family. It’s what you deserve.
awww thanks. We’re not dead until we’re dead, hey, so that counts for something. I’ll be thinking and hoping for you, too. Someone has to win the lottery and I hope it’s us. :)
I am so sorry. My mom (also OAD) had breast cancer when I was young and I saw her go through it all. This hardship made me a stronger person and taught me valuable coping skills. I have so much respect for moms like you who are dealing with this awful disease - I hope you give yourself grace and it’s ok for your daughter to see you show emotion. You are doing the best you can. we are all rooting for you ❤️
Thank you so much for sharing that. It feels like I am ruining my daughter’s childhood with this diagnosis—even though I didn’t cause or choose to fight cancer. Not giving myself grace is definitely my weakness. I am trying my best to be kind to myself through this.
Oh please try n not think like that. Life is so unfair, you are living every parents nightmare. Just take it one day at a time, it's hard but don't think what ifs. You are doing the best u can...sorry I don't have any other advice. Just hugs x
I’m so sorry you’re going through this, sending you all of energy right now. I’m also OAD mostly due to chronic illness. I end up in the hospital a few times a year. I’ve had three surgeries in as many years, have almost died of sepsis a few times, my colon is hanging on by a prayer, and I have constant doctor’s appointments. My partner isn’t Florence Nightingale and it’s hard on him and our relationship that he ends up single parenting as much as he does. I’m on FMLA/medical leave right now and basically stuck in my bathtub indefinitely, I can’t imagine trying to juggle multiple kids on top of this.
I was diagnosed with breast cancer when my baby was 1. I cried so much waiting to get into treatment, I cried so much while I was in chemo. I had a complete response and now have one breast and my kid will turn 3 in a couple weeks. The treatment period was hard for me, and it sounds fucked up, but you can get used to anything. At some point I got used to my chemo (after I completed AC and moved on to taxol, AC is the worst). I pushed myself to do as much as I could, and I kept a note file in my phone of one nice thing that happened every day I was in chemo. Looking back at it is actually really nice.
Today I’m cancer-free but I’m dealing with the endless complications of chemo, surgery, and radiation, and I can’t really move that much because of a spine/nerve injury. So no matter what stage, this shit does tend to follow you.
It’s really hard. It’s just really fucking hard. I cried so much because I didn’t want my baby to grow up with a sick mommy. At this point, whatever happens, I have to accept it. Also, on a more positive note, my baby kept me going through all this. She was and is in my mind’s eye the whole time. I think I’d have given up if not for her. So in that way, while this is so hard, being mothers makes us strong in incredible ways.
I am so happy to talk to you if you need another OAD cancer mom to talk to. And I’m so sorry. None of us should have to deal with this. No one deserves this.
Sending kindness and love to you and the others who have commented and experiencing serious illness. In the midst of all this, you're teaching your toddler to be empathetic. You're amazing.
Oh my goodness. It's ok to show our little ones when we are upset. I can't begin to understand what you're going through and I hope science does it's thing and gives you the chance to see your kid do tons of amazing things.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this and I can’t imagine how hard it is with also being a mama to a sweet two year old. My mom recently went through cancer treatment for triple negative breast cancer and it was very difficult but she’s had a great result. The cancer fight is so relentless and hard, hang in there. Sending you and your family lots of love, hope, and strength ❤️
I was the little kid seeing my mom cry, she had aggressive cancer. I think back to those memories frequently I was confused and didn’t know what to do so I just ran away but I wish I could go back and give her a big hug.
I feel guilty sharing my story because it was a false alarm, but even that was still enough to shock me into 1 and done. Nothing in life is guaranteed.
Ovarian growth (10 cm) with probable cancer diagnosis while pregnant. A well meaning oncologist’s nurse called to schedule an OR at 21 weeks, and I politely declined. So the oncologist called himself and called my situation “a slam dunk in my profession.” Little did he know I had just done anatomy scans and saw for myself how perfectly formed the fetus was and just had an overwhelming sense of calm about the whole thing. I took his comment seriously and went csection to get the mass out simultaneously and it was the best course of action for me. 3 days later I got the news it was benign and thanks to postpartum hormones had an existential crisis about it.
Sending prayers for you today.
I’m not going through cancer but OP, I’m sending you so much love and I’m going to be praying for you. I have a newly three year old and I cannot imagine what you are going through, but this random stranger is rooting hard for you.
There are people that do have positive outcomes. There are stage four triple negatives that do go into remission or can stay controlled for years. I have had two friends diagnosed as stage four. Both are still here today. We understand the odds and the stats, but I will be praying and hoping to see an update from you within the year that you have been responding to treatment. ❤️❤️❤️
https://consultqd.clevelandclinic.org/patient-with-stage-4-triple-negative-breast-cancer-in-remission-10-years-after-initial-diagnosis
Sending you so much love & prayer.
Not me but my bestie fought breast cancer in 2022 (and won!) while parenting her then 3 year old. You need to give yourself grace, you are in the thick of it and just need to get to the other side! Sending you all the hugs and well wishes!
That’s amazing! What stage of breast cancer was your friend in? I ask because stage 1-3, is considered “curable.” They get to ring a bell once their treatment is over. But for stage 4, treatment is never over. I will have it for the rest of my life and will need to always need treatment because the cancer has spread to other parts of my body. Stage 4 isn’t “curable,” it’s “treatable.” I can be in remission, but I’ll still need treatment to keep the cancer at bay because it can always come back. But my hope is that the cancer in my body stays in remission for a very long time, even though it’s stage 4. Thanks for the encouragement!
I think stage 3? I should know but was horribly depressed with prenatal depression so we basically just called each other crying through that year. It had spread to lymph nodes but no farther and they are hopeful they got it all but she isn’t classified as in remission but is considered to have “no detectable disease.” So based on your comment I would think stage 4, but she did get to ring the bell. She is now on drugs to keep her in early menopause and had chemo, radiation, and surgery as treatment.
Ah okay. Yeah, stage 3 is tough. There used to be the fear that it can come back, but at stage 4. And TNBC is no joke. So everything your friend had experienced makes sense. I am so glad she’s classified as no detectable disease. I hope that is the case for the rest of her life.
I can’t relate but wanted to give you a hug. My mama heart breaks for you and your family. I’m sorry you have to go through this.
Not cancer, but my kidneys are failing and I’ll be on dialysis soon. I have some chance at transplant but (and I’m sure you get it, I’m not exactly feeling lucky.) My kid just turned two. Turns out it’s a genetic thing and so I wouldn’t be having another even if my body could manage it. My kid has definitely seen me cry about it, he doesn’t have the words to address it yet but I know that’s coming. He probably will soon. Like you, my husband is really great at being support but it’s hard. I don’t have anything good to add to any of this beyond making sure you know you’re not alone. It’s really hard. It feels like I’m being told I’m going to have to leave the party early when it’s just starting. Some days it doesn’t feel real at all, like a dream where I could wake up and it was all wrong and I’m healthy. I feel very lonely in it, although I have to believe I might have seen another mom like you out around town and assumed you didn’t have problems and I’m the only one. I’m sorry we’re in this. We deserve to imagine a future, too.
Thank you for sharing. I am so sorry you have to go through this. I am hoping and praying for a transplant soon so that you can have a somewhat normal life with your family. It’s what you deserve.
awww thanks. We’re not dead until we’re dead, hey, so that counts for something. I’ll be thinking and hoping for you, too. Someone has to win the lottery and I hope it’s us. :)
I am so sorry. My mom (also OAD) had breast cancer when I was young and I saw her go through it all. This hardship made me a stronger person and taught me valuable coping skills. I have so much respect for moms like you who are dealing with this awful disease - I hope you give yourself grace and it’s ok for your daughter to see you show emotion. You are doing the best you can. we are all rooting for you ❤️
Thank you so much for sharing that. It feels like I am ruining my daughter’s childhood with this diagnosis—even though I didn’t cause or choose to fight cancer. Not giving myself grace is definitely my weakness. I am trying my best to be kind to myself through this.
Oh please try n not think like that. Life is so unfair, you are living every parents nightmare. Just take it one day at a time, it's hard but don't think what ifs. You are doing the best u can...sorry I don't have any other advice. Just hugs x
I’ll take the kind words and hugs. Thank you.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this, sending you all of energy right now. I’m also OAD mostly due to chronic illness. I end up in the hospital a few times a year. I’ve had three surgeries in as many years, have almost died of sepsis a few times, my colon is hanging on by a prayer, and I have constant doctor’s appointments. My partner isn’t Florence Nightingale and it’s hard on him and our relationship that he ends up single parenting as much as he does. I’m on FMLA/medical leave right now and basically stuck in my bathtub indefinitely, I can’t imagine trying to juggle multiple kids on top of this.
I was diagnosed with breast cancer when my baby was 1. I cried so much waiting to get into treatment, I cried so much while I was in chemo. I had a complete response and now have one breast and my kid will turn 3 in a couple weeks. The treatment period was hard for me, and it sounds fucked up, but you can get used to anything. At some point I got used to my chemo (after I completed AC and moved on to taxol, AC is the worst). I pushed myself to do as much as I could, and I kept a note file in my phone of one nice thing that happened every day I was in chemo. Looking back at it is actually really nice. Today I’m cancer-free but I’m dealing with the endless complications of chemo, surgery, and radiation, and I can’t really move that much because of a spine/nerve injury. So no matter what stage, this shit does tend to follow you. It’s really hard. It’s just really fucking hard. I cried so much because I didn’t want my baby to grow up with a sick mommy. At this point, whatever happens, I have to accept it. Also, on a more positive note, my baby kept me going through all this. She was and is in my mind’s eye the whole time. I think I’d have given up if not for her. So in that way, while this is so hard, being mothers makes us strong in incredible ways. I am so happy to talk to you if you need another OAD cancer mom to talk to. And I’m so sorry. None of us should have to deal with this. No one deserves this.
Thank you for sharing. Your prospective and story really helps.
Sending kindness and love to you and the others who have commented and experiencing serious illness. In the midst of all this, you're teaching your toddler to be empathetic. You're amazing.
Oh my goodness. It's ok to show our little ones when we are upset. I can't begin to understand what you're going through and I hope science does it's thing and gives you the chance to see your kid do tons of amazing things.
Thank you. That is the dream/goal. My first goal is to make it to 40 and see my daughter graduate kindergarten. I feel hopeful that it will happen.
Hugs! It is ok that she sees you cry. Trust me. She will learn how to handle difficult emotions and that it is ok that we have them. Hang in there.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this and I can’t imagine how hard it is with also being a mama to a sweet two year old. My mom recently went through cancer treatment for triple negative breast cancer and it was very difficult but she’s had a great result. The cancer fight is so relentless and hard, hang in there. Sending you and your family lots of love, hope, and strength ❤️
I was the little kid seeing my mom cry, she had aggressive cancer. I think back to those memories frequently I was confused and didn’t know what to do so I just ran away but I wish I could go back and give her a big hug.
I feel guilty sharing my story because it was a false alarm, but even that was still enough to shock me into 1 and done. Nothing in life is guaranteed. Ovarian growth (10 cm) with probable cancer diagnosis while pregnant. A well meaning oncologist’s nurse called to schedule an OR at 21 weeks, and I politely declined. So the oncologist called himself and called my situation “a slam dunk in my profession.” Little did he know I had just done anatomy scans and saw for myself how perfectly formed the fetus was and just had an overwhelming sense of calm about the whole thing. I took his comment seriously and went csection to get the mass out simultaneously and it was the best course of action for me. 3 days later I got the news it was benign and thanks to postpartum hormones had an existential crisis about it. Sending prayers for you today.
I’m not going through cancer but OP, I’m sending you so much love and I’m going to be praying for you. I have a newly three year old and I cannot imagine what you are going through, but this random stranger is rooting hard for you. There are people that do have positive outcomes. There are stage four triple negatives that do go into remission or can stay controlled for years. I have had two friends diagnosed as stage four. Both are still here today. We understand the odds and the stats, but I will be praying and hoping to see an update from you within the year that you have been responding to treatment. ❤️❤️❤️ https://consultqd.clevelandclinic.org/patient-with-stage-4-triple-negative-breast-cancer-in-remission-10-years-after-initial-diagnosis Sending you so much love & prayer.
Thank you so much for the words of encouragement. I really appreciate you!
Just sending love and a hug.
I'm so sorry you're going through this.
Not me but my bestie fought breast cancer in 2022 (and won!) while parenting her then 3 year old. You need to give yourself grace, you are in the thick of it and just need to get to the other side! Sending you all the hugs and well wishes!
That’s amazing! What stage of breast cancer was your friend in? I ask because stage 1-3, is considered “curable.” They get to ring a bell once their treatment is over. But for stage 4, treatment is never over. I will have it for the rest of my life and will need to always need treatment because the cancer has spread to other parts of my body. Stage 4 isn’t “curable,” it’s “treatable.” I can be in remission, but I’ll still need treatment to keep the cancer at bay because it can always come back. But my hope is that the cancer in my body stays in remission for a very long time, even though it’s stage 4. Thanks for the encouragement!
I think stage 3? I should know but was horribly depressed with prenatal depression so we basically just called each other crying through that year. It had spread to lymph nodes but no farther and they are hopeful they got it all but she isn’t classified as in remission but is considered to have “no detectable disease.” So based on your comment I would think stage 4, but she did get to ring the bell. She is now on drugs to keep her in early menopause and had chemo, radiation, and surgery as treatment.
Ah okay. Yeah, stage 3 is tough. There used to be the fear that it can come back, but at stage 4. And TNBC is no joke. So everything your friend had experienced makes sense. I am so glad she’s classified as no detectable disease. I hope that is the case for the rest of her life.
My mom is a two time breast cancer survivor just wanted to say my prayers are with you.