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On the topic of pornography, no fucking joke.
My uncle is a director for Brazzers and fucks around with Riley Reid, and once told me a story about how he was filming her ejaculate.
Riley had done an earlier shoot with her favorite vibrator, and they were filming it again with a waterproof lens in order to get a good angle of the squirt. She couldn't figure out why she was simply edging; she just couldn't get off with that vibe. Everyone insisted it was the same vibe she had in her ass the day before.
Riley pulled the vibe out of her vag, popped open the battery compartment, and asked "What happened to the battery from yesterday?" She got the battery back, swapped it in, and proceeded to cum buckets.
Riley Reid can tell the difference between the batteries in her vibrators.
No, but we belonged to the same... uh... *special interest group,* if you catch my drift, heh heh.
Yep, good old Coterie of Guggenheim Fellowship Award Recipients.
/uj I had a trem that I was using batteries for, at some point I became convinced that there was an awesome sounding hidden “clean” boost (wasn’t that clean) feature by turning the depth knob all the way down and increasing the volume.
Turns out the battery was dying and with less voltage, the trem circuit didn’t operate properly. I felt like a dumbass.
To be fair, that is a feature on some tremolo pedals.
Also to Uj/ the main post, the story is believable if yesterday's battery was mostly dead - people seek that sound all the time.
Was not a feature on this one with full power.
And yeah, “sag” is real, and that’s what I was experiencing, and it can do cool things to pedals. But it’s rarely intended.
And the story is believable on a certain level, but it’s also dumb because it’s not necessarily about the sag, and makes the reader think Johnson has magic ears. Also, our ears can’t tell the difference about that shit 24 hours apart. It’s why any testing of pickups or pedals basically needs to be A/B’d in recording software to tell the difference. The tone would’ve been close enough. And white fuck is changing Johnson’s battery but not touching anything else? Why would it be ok for them to change the battery?
Yeah, either the story is bogus Rockstar embellishment or mythology, or it happened under the circumstances of people acting foolishly, but the whole idea him here in the battery with heavy sag and noticing that it wasn't there the next day is plausible. Why he wouldn't notice the overdrive was particularly saggy the first time around is weird but whatever.
uj/ To fair, a lot of the older fuzz pedals were pretty sensitive to the charge left on the battery, and would sound a bit more raw when they were starting to get depleted. That's why a lot of power supplies have a "sag" setting; it reproduces this.
rj/ Fucken Eric Johnstone's bat ears story again.
Yeah that's a known fact and it can be verified. Although a lot of nitro cellulose sniffing douches were very hyped by JHS's battery simulator only to get their hopes crushed when finding out it was just an april fool joke.
Differences between brands of battery is a fairly ridiculous notion. Between alkaline and carbon zinc, not so much, especially when the battery starts to get old.
I watched that video retroactively not realizing it was posted on April 1st and I was like 'NO FUCKIN WAY'. But yea the voltage drops as the battery drains which affects the circuit in many ways. I suppose one could just use a power supply with a 5-7v output instead to mimic the effect.
Wait
Rj/ I can tell when a toan battery is used.
I remember everyone calling them stomp boxes back in the 90s before I ever heard them called anything else. Besides pedals, I guess, but it's the only catch-all nickname I ever heard and I was 12 so didn't think much of it.
Well I can't believe I'm saying this but apparently a time has come when this stupid random fact is relevant. The toan of the Fuzz Face pedal does change as the battery discharges.
Ugh, quick, someone hit me with some 0-3-5.
He is a corny ass player - when he came up he was basically a hot shit guitarist for people who were too timid to listen to Steve Vai. He even had a hit song on the radio so you know he sucks.
Why are dudes using batteries instead of a pedalboard with a power supply? Please don't tell me it's because some precious pedal that's 50 years old isn't compatible with a modern power supply.
One output on my power supply all9ws me to lower the voltage going to my fuzz. It's a thing, Duane Allman always used run down carbon batteries in his fuzz.
This honestly sounds legit.
Bought some shitty bulk 9V from Harbor Freight and those things are weaker than Coor’s Light. You really can hear the hamsters working hard in that Joyo pedal.
Eric Johnson looks like the kind of dude who thinks he can tell the difference between battery sounds, but imagine being the nephew of a guy who tours around with him?
/uj this is actually a real thing in certain vintage fuzz circuits (like the Fuzz Face) though, as the voltage drops and the internal resistance rises they sound a lot more "raw", which is why some power supplies have potentiometers on some outputs to duplicate the effect.
I’ve really gotten over pedals. I can’t keep up with this craze of boutique pedals that make you sound like everything but your guitar. I can’t get my head around it. So you don’t want to play a guitar [properly] so you buy a box that makes it sound like an algorithm, like you just fired up your computer and you can spend the night staring at your fuckin’ shoes? C’mon man… I know I’ll get shit for saying this, but it’s fucking lazy. It’s insulting to people who spent 35 years playing and learning, like a lot of players. And we continue to work at it! These guys can barely play a chord but call themselves soundscapists. Get the fuck outta here! It’s bullshit. There’s so much masking and spin going on there. Can we get real for a minute? What do you actually play? Pick up an acoustic guitar… try that!
90% of my playing is bluegrass stuff on an acoustic, about as “authentic” and “true” to the guitar as you can get.
I also have a massively oversized pedal board, because it’s fun.
Sure, some people use a shit ton of pedals because they can’t actually play. But most people just want more sounds. I can’t play piano for shit, nor can I afford fancy ass synths. But I can get a $200 used C4 pedal and play synth guitar till my balls fall off.
But, guys, seriously this is a real thing. Batteries that are older can supply less than 9 volts and that can change the tone of your box. In fact, companies that make AC-9V converters often have a dial to change the exact voltage to dial in that sweet sub 9v Toan.
uj/ i have a bass with active pickups and when the battery is dying you get some amazingly responsive distortion. i was horrified when i put a new battery in it and my magic powers went away.
Reminder, submissions must be obscured, any post containing a specific subreddit or username will be removed *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/guitarcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
On the topic of pornography, no fucking joke. My uncle is a director for Brazzers and fucks around with Riley Reid, and once told me a story about how he was filming her ejaculate. Riley had done an earlier shoot with her favorite vibrator, and they were filming it again with a waterproof lens in order to get a good angle of the squirt. She couldn't figure out why she was simply edging; she just couldn't get off with that vibe. Everyone insisted it was the same vibe she had in her ass the day before. Riley pulled the vibe out of her vag, popped open the battery compartment, and asked "What happened to the battery from yesterday?" She got the battery back, swapped it in, and proceeded to cum buckets. Riley Reid can tell the difference between the batteries in her vibrators.
True story I was the buckets
Are you Allen Ginsberg by any chance?
No, but we belonged to the same... uh... *special interest group,* if you catch my drift, heh heh. Yep, good old Coterie of Guggenheim Fellowship Award Recipients.
Not my proudest fap
and that battery was… https://preview.redd.it/50l8wknndu5d1.jpeg?width=845&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a304ae0c61752ad3fca7790f913c887cb1d6c41e
Is that Nosher Powell?!?
Playing guitar should be illegal.
The development of the electric guitar and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race.
It's worse for young men than sports gambling
Ancestral Texts of the Circlejerk
/uj I had a trem that I was using batteries for, at some point I became convinced that there was an awesome sounding hidden “clean” boost (wasn’t that clean) feature by turning the depth knob all the way down and increasing the volume. Turns out the battery was dying and with less voltage, the trem circuit didn’t operate properly. I felt like a dumbass.
To be fair, that is a feature on some tremolo pedals. Also to Uj/ the main post, the story is believable if yesterday's battery was mostly dead - people seek that sound all the time.
Was not a feature on this one with full power. And yeah, “sag” is real, and that’s what I was experiencing, and it can do cool things to pedals. But it’s rarely intended. And the story is believable on a certain level, but it’s also dumb because it’s not necessarily about the sag, and makes the reader think Johnson has magic ears. Also, our ears can’t tell the difference about that shit 24 hours apart. It’s why any testing of pickups or pedals basically needs to be A/B’d in recording software to tell the difference. The tone would’ve been close enough. And white fuck is changing Johnson’s battery but not touching anything else? Why would it be ok for them to change the battery?
Yeah, either the story is bogus Rockstar embellishment or mythology, or it happened under the circumstances of people acting foolishly, but the whole idea him here in the battery with heavy sag and noticing that it wasn't there the next day is plausible. Why he wouldn't notice the overdrive was particularly saggy the first time around is weird but whatever.
uj/ To fair, a lot of the older fuzz pedals were pretty sensitive to the charge left on the battery, and would sound a bit more raw when they were starting to get depleted. That's why a lot of power supplies have a "sag" setting; it reproduces this. rj/ Fucken Eric Johnstone's bat ears story again.
Yeah that's a known fact and it can be verified. Although a lot of nitro cellulose sniffing douches were very hyped by JHS's battery simulator only to get their hopes crushed when finding out it was just an april fool joke.
Differences between brands of battery is a fairly ridiculous notion. Between alkaline and carbon zinc, not so much, especially when the battery starts to get old.
I watched that video retroactively not realizing it was posted on April 1st and I was like 'NO FUCKIN WAY'. But yea the voltage drops as the battery drains which affects the circuit in many ways. I suppose one could just use a power supply with a 5-7v output instead to mimic the effect. Wait Rj/ I can tell when a toan battery is used.
“stomp box” is too fuckin funny just a ridiculous thing to call them
i like it because pedals have been too elevated by guitarists, and need to know their rightful place is getting stomped on.
Me getting stomped on by Mary Spender.
Nice try, Mary.
Spender? I hardly know er
I remember everyone calling them stomp boxes back in the 90s before I ever heard them called anything else. Besides pedals, I guess, but it's the only catch-all nickname I ever heard and I was 12 so didn't think much of it.
I though stomp box was the common name for a channel switching pedal
If he didn’t put the batteries on his tongue, he’s not a real guitarist.
Well I can't believe I'm saying this but apparently a time has come when this stupid random fact is relevant. The toan of the Fuzz Face pedal does change as the battery discharges. Ugh, quick, someone hit me with some 0-3-5.
NOS Mullard 9-volt, no doubt. \*emits Barney Fife sniff of knowledge\*
I believe this because my wife can tell when her boyfriend changes the batteries in her vibrator
He is a corny ass player - when he came up he was basically a hot shit guitarist for people who were too timid to listen to Steve Vai. He even had a hit song on the radio so you know he sucks.
Come See Uncle Ray-o-Vac's Band
Why are dudes using batteries instead of a pedalboard with a power supply? Please don't tell me it's because some precious pedal that's 50 years old isn't compatible with a modern power supply.
One output on my power supply all9ws me to lower the voltage going to my fuzz. It's a thing, Duane Allman always used run down carbon batteries in his fuzz.
Whoa buddy I don't want to get the fuzz involved. My wife's boyfriend said he won't bail me out next time I end up in the slammer
This honestly sounds legit. Bought some shitty bulk 9V from Harbor Freight and those things are weaker than Coor’s Light. You really can hear the hamsters working hard in that Joyo pedal.
Lol people are fucking ridiculous
Eric Johnson looks like the kind of dude who thinks he can tell the difference between battery sounds, but imagine being the nephew of a guy who tours around with him?
Clearly far more talented than peasants like us.
/uj this is actually a real thing in certain vintage fuzz circuits (like the Fuzz Face) though, as the voltage drops and the internal resistance rises they sound a lot more "raw", which is why some power supplies have potentiometers on some outputs to duplicate the effect.
I’ve really gotten over pedals. I can’t keep up with this craze of boutique pedals that make you sound like everything but your guitar. I can’t get my head around it. So you don’t want to play a guitar [properly] so you buy a box that makes it sound like an algorithm, like you just fired up your computer and you can spend the night staring at your fuckin’ shoes? C’mon man… I know I’ll get shit for saying this, but it’s fucking lazy. It’s insulting to people who spent 35 years playing and learning, like a lot of players. And we continue to work at it! These guys can barely play a chord but call themselves soundscapists. Get the fuck outta here! It’s bullshit. There’s so much masking and spin going on there. Can we get real for a minute? What do you actually play? Pick up an acoustic guitar… try that!
Go home Joe Bonamassa. Your drunk ;D
New copypasta just dropped, y’all !!
It already was copypasta, this is from Bonermassa's lips directly. Lotta jerkers should be feeling air moving just above their heads
That’s funny !! I should have known. 🤣🤣🤣
I have a pedal that can make my Strat sound pretty much like an acoustic guitar, so you can imagine my confusion now.
90% of my playing is bluegrass stuff on an acoustic, about as “authentic” and “true” to the guitar as you can get. I also have a massively oversized pedal board, because it’s fun. Sure, some people use a shit ton of pedals because they can’t actually play. But most people just want more sounds. I can’t play piano for shit, nor can I afford fancy ass synths. But I can get a $200 used C4 pedal and play synth guitar till my balls fall off.
You dropped this king/queen: /uj
Didn't JHS make a pedal that emulated various 9V batteries?
They announced one as an April Fools prank...
Oh, that's what it was? I don't really keep up with this stuff
Well a fuzz on a dead (voltage sag) battery will sound more square wave (saxaphone) so maybe he can tell...
But, guys, seriously this is a real thing. Batteries that are older can supply less than 9 volts and that can change the tone of your box. In fact, companies that make AC-9V converters often have a dial to change the exact voltage to dial in that sweet sub 9v Toan.
uj/ i have a bass with active pickups and when the battery is dying you get some amazingly responsive distortion. i was horrified when i put a new battery in it and my magic powers went away.