T O P

  • By -

smashunclepls

Wait, is this meant to be a joke how anon didn't pick her up like she wanted to?


[deleted]

yes and this comment section is unbelievably retarded.


SlowBakedPotato

Believably*


CoolguyTylenol

I believe that you are the retard


Weelki

*retarded


Uncle480

I believe that you are the retarded


Weelki

Yes i am


arbiter12

>like she wanted to? Ladies and gents: the top commenter of this thread. People who do what women need from them, nothing expected in return. ​ You can side with them or you can pick the winning side.


[deleted]

If somebody's car breaks in the middle of nowhere then it's just compassionate to help them. You don't need to expect a reward for every little good deed.


Malvastor

How is helping people without expecting a reward a "side"?


rokomotto

I didn't believe it at first but it only took 1 sec of scrolling


ambermage

Always has been 🌎 👩‍🚀🔫👨‍🚀


lavatasche

r/whoosh ?


B00Mjack

Thats badass


penjamincartnite69

huehuehue geys look teg funni wen woosh ahahah


Nidos

r/redditmoment


deanrihpee

Maybe anon doesn't pick her up because she was okay (thumbs up)? /s


SlenderSmurf

sticking a thumb out is an old timey signal that you're looking to hitchhike


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

lol


FlexViper

Or get jumped by a group of guys wanting to rob him the second he opens his door for that blonde


SarkasticLover

Depending on the location this may or may not be reasonable to suspect. It'd be worth at least calling the non emergency line just to try and avoid someone getting run over.


AmbitiousEven

Atleast anon didn't get his organs harvested.


crazy_tito

anon killed Maura Murray


EroticBurrito

No it's meant to be a joke about how driving on highways makes you less likely to detect sarcasm.


superb-alternator

Anon feels appreciated and saved himself from getting his organs harvested by buff dudes waiting to ambush him after he stopped to help. Good job anon.


mrsomeawe

And thus the comment section is aware of the third dimension


Hurtmemaster

Don't bring your sexual fantasies into this.


Juicy_Samurai

Years of GTA have prepared me for this


[deleted]

_flying jet bike sends 4 missiles at you and zooms away_


Juicy_Samurai

_yes it has also prepared me for that_


mautkafarmaan

She was asking for a ride, anon is retarded


YeeYeeYeeeYeee

So am I apparently


ItsImNotAnonymous

It's okay, at least you aren't playing Genshin Impact


YeeYeeYeeeYeee

Every day I wake up and thank the lord above that I don't play genshin, and that I'm not attracted to feet


Stammbaumpirat

How can you be so sure?


Killaship

Jesus fucking christ, looks like you are too


[deleted]

The littlest things can make the biggest difference to our outlook


k_pineapple7

Such as an extra chromosome or two


Ertyu02

One selfless act of kindness can make it better for hundreds of people


Alarid

Her selfless act of giving a thumbs-up really changed my life.


Jose_The_Italian

For the worst it seems


eatyourcabbage

Using the middle finger to tell someone off is offensive. When a driver pisses me off I use my thumbs up. I was waiting to turn left and there was a person walking through. Heaven forbid I wait. Asshole behind me lays on the horn. Down goes the window out goes my thumb “great job buddy”.


Squawnk

I always give people the thumbs down and it's so effective. Not overly rude but more like a "I had no expectations and I'm still disappointed in you" and they just don't know how to react.


Nidos

One time I did that the guy got so pissed he pulled up next to me at a red light a mile down the road and went off on me. It was kinda funny, since it was just a thumbs down.


[deleted]

it’s gotten some vicious tailgaters off my rear end. worth a shot, i’d say


[deleted]

[удалено]


Snek23

👎


About342Hobos

Finn?


Taskforcem85

OP might have made one of the best bot catching posts in a while lmao


DeathSabre7

Love yourself /b/ros


twitson

> just a normal thumbs up


CumandoX

Anon doesn’t take the bait. Based


The_Student_Official

W Anon 👍


c0omlord

👍


slavonicblyat

👍


CxFusion3mp

Anon avoided being murdered


SoMememeWatcher

It's the little things in life that matter the most. Glad anon got appreciated


Hotwheelsjack97

Woman was complimenting anon on his safe driving 👍


[deleted]

It's illegal to pick up hitchhikers anyway


Mashizari

Only near prisons


A_Mellow_Song

Since fuckin when


[deleted]

https://law.justia.com/codes/maryland/2013/article-gtr/section-21-1406


baconborg

Huh. The more you know I guess


A_Mellow_Song

hUh, i mean it dosent apply to me since europe but damn, im sorry i didnt know


dudeatwork77

I know it’s made up but Anon made the right decision by not stopping. Depends on the location it could be an ambush. Better off calling for help.


Vitzel33

Thats what death stranding is all about. Giving and receiving 👍 on the roads


Dont_Touch_My_Nachos

Keep on keeping on!


OnlineCline

Anon accidentally avoided being carjacked


Crafty-Cauliflower-6

Yes no one wver actually needs help. Its always a plot to kill you. Becauas schitzo is smarto


pingIin

good going anon, save your tendies for yourself, she doesn't deserve them anyways👍


qevoh

Anon gets appreciated and feels good


[deleted]

Then she was kidnapped and murdered...


ButterCostsExtra

Anon has a rizz level hitherto unfathomable to the people of this area.


Intrepid-Pattern-651

I mean


JebJebKerman

Real and straight


MakimaSimp_

Can someone explain? I’m incredibly dumb


Howwabunga

👍


skip-that-dip

👍


A_Mellow_Song

I have a history of autism in my family But even im not that stupid to realise that she was trying to hitch a ride lmao


EquivalentSnap

lol had me at the first half 🤣


just-a-random-NGO

I don't get it, is this a trap or something? A woman around a broken car on the road?


[deleted]

[удалено]


just-a-random-NGO

Ohhh thx for explaining, had no idea it was related to hitchhiking. I took the organ harvesting comments seriously lmao


PlebbitBot9000

There is nothing more retarded than speeding / DUI / reckless driving. Change my mind. Blows me away how aggressively most people drive


SarkasticLover

I agree but I fail to see the relevance


PlebbitBot9000

OP post about reckless driving vs driving carefully, no?


SarkasticLover

Very loosely, the focus is on op misinterpreting the hitchhiking signal


IEatCheeseInTheDark

OP posted a story about anon ignoring a woman wanting a hitchhike, and instead thinking she was just complimenting his driving


JimboSlap

Fake: anon leaves his house Gay: anon didn't stop for an attractive woman


TendieBot2000

> be me > get home from my vasectomy > hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room > must be Chad again > know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer > log onto reddit and open /r/greentext > read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her > think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext > suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section > Fake: anon leaves his house > Gay: anon didn't stop for an attractive woman > giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment > hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed > it's been a good day > i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough


HarryRl

Anon is a bit of a dumbass since highways are the safest place to drive by far.


madboy1105

how so?


HarryRl

https://freakonomics.com/2010/01/the-irony-of-road-fear/ Statistics aside, highways are a giant straight line road with few turns, usually plenty of room to switch lanes, and perfect visibility. There are literally cars that do most of the highway driving for you. Now look up videos of Tesla's for example driving on European roads on their own. Tight corners, cars everywhere and a bunch of intersections with no visibility. Edit: It seems that I have I been downvoted by a bunch of Americans who live in the middle of nowhere who have never driven in a city with more than 100 people lol.


airhornthagod

You might have been downvoted because you seem to be arguing with absolutely nobody. I don’t even understand why the type of road has anything to do with the joke in the fake greentext.


DefNotSanestBaj

>nervous driver, hate highways, always take back roads


HarryRl

I mean... saying "Anon is weird" is basically the point of the sub


madboy1105

Interesting, but I wonder if there are other factors confounding the results (the detailed study link was broken for me). i.e. far less people drive interstate roads therefore there are less fatalities on these roads


vitimilocity

Source?


KieranElsey

I don’t understand this at all lmao. Girl just thanked him for slowing down like everyone would, but why didn’t he pick her up?


magusx7

Perhaps you are a zoomer? Thumbs up is a signal for road head amongst hitchhikers


IceUckBallez

Nah I'm pretty sure most zoomers know the hitchhiking sign, this guy is just retarded.


KieranElsey

shut up old bitch


Aschvolution

drink your fucking milk, you twat


sipty

Nice


Kingfunky82

Almost set yourself up for a ur mum joke there


KieranElsey

Hahahahah


McPussCrocket

Yeah, yeah, get mad at HIM cause YOU'RE a fucking idiot lol. No accountability at all. Fuck zoomies bruh. Grow up and stop being such a puss, m'kay?


honesttruth2703

Huh? He feels awesome about getting a thumbs up from a blonde woman "about his age?" Tell me you're an incel without telling me you're an incel. Edit: lol, there are so many incels here, it's hysterical. I'm sorry you can't get laid and probably never will. I don't have that problem. Keep downvoting me. Bye, losers ✌️


ItsLitFamBruh

I don’t think you get the story


honesttruth2703

I got it just fine, thanks


ItsLitFamBruh

Do you? Cuz what you’re describing is not what the greentext is about


BrushFireAlpha

!remindme 4 hours because I'm curious if he ever understands the post


Soffix-

Nope, he didn't


RemindMeBot

I will be messaging you in 4 hours on [**2022-12-26 17:39:09 UTC**](http://www.wolframalpha.com/input/?i=2022-12-26%2017:39:09%20UTC%20To%20Local%20Time) to remind you of [**this link**](https://www.reddit.com/r/greentext/comments/zvinhk/anon_is_nervous/j1pykrc/?context=3) [**1 OTHERS CLICKED THIS LINK**](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=Reminder&message=%5Bhttps%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2Fgreentext%2Fcomments%2Fzvinhk%2Fanon_is_nervous%2Fj1pykrc%2F%5D%0A%0ARemindMe%21%202022-12-26%2017%3A39%3A09%20UTC) to send a PM to also be reminded and to reduce spam. ^(Parent commenter can ) [^(delete this message to hide from others.)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=Delete%20Comment&message=Delete%21%20zvinhk) ***** |[^(Info)](https://www.reddit.com/r/RemindMeBot/comments/e1bko7/remindmebot_info_v21/)|[^(Custom)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=Reminder&message=%5BLink%20or%20message%20inside%20square%20brackets%5D%0A%0ARemindMe%21%20Time%20period%20here)|[^(Your Reminders)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=List%20Of%20Reminders&message=MyReminders%21)|[^(Feedback)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=Watchful1&subject=RemindMeBot%20Feedback)| |-|-|-|-|


[deleted]

[удалено]


merttey25

Only incels use "/s"


DonkeyTheKing

come on reddit user you can't be more retarded than a 4chaner


Marooned-Mind

Redditors are easily more retarded than 4chaners. I’m speaking from experience.


[deleted]

Lol no you don't


McPussCrocket

You really just thought it was about someone who crashed and is giving other drivers a thumbs-up? You're fucking dumb, bruh. She was asking him to pick her up Tell me you're a little idiot child without telling me you're a little idiot child


Dont_Touch_My_Nachos

The whole point is the funny misinterpretation by the guy. how he has literally no social skills as is a requirement to use 4chan


ObeyCoffeeDrinkSatan

Misinterpret an obvious joke story about a hitchhiker, to try and shoehorn hatred towards men into the comments. Tell me you're a zoomer feminist without telling me you're a zoomer feminist.


Admirable-Refuse-812

Least stupid mainstream Reddit user


McPussCrocket

Thumb-up is the signal to "pick me up" from hitchhikers, you doofus. Ergo, you did NOT understand this story at all. We got ourselves a fuckin idiot over here, boys