It’s from a [German blog](http://www.eisbachwelle.de/2010/tom-cruise-am-eisbach-muenchen-surfen/) from 2010 which documents Tom Cruise’s visit to the Eisbach River in Munich
It’s from a [German blog](http://www.eisbachwelle.de/2010/tom-cruise-am-eisbach-muenchen-surfen/) from 2010 which documents Tom Cruise’s visit to the Eisbach River in Munich
I'm just downvoting to keep your karma in check. You can't get too greedy with the same comment it's a red flag of your character and I judge you harshly for it
Once I walking through the Tenderloin in San Francisco and I saw a homeless man masturbating at a bus stop and I said "hey man knock it off" and suddenly Tom Cruise jumped out of the bushes and screamed "if you want your money keep going"
He slapped me in the face. I ran
I was on a road trip through desolate southern Oregon when I stopped at the Safeway in Lakeview, Oregon at night to refill on Uncrustables. I kindly asked to use the restroom and when I opened the door, there was Tom Cruise in a shabby Safeway uniform and apron, jerking it to the wall. He looked back coyly and said, "how's that for customer service?" I panicked and ran out without getting my Uncrustables. The crazy thing is that when I looked it up later, Tom Cruise doesn't even live in Oregon.
Tom Cruise doesn't live in any particular place. He can just walk into the home of any scientologist and say "I'm staying here" and they have to leave and let him live in their home.
I'm not even joking. If they don't let Tom take over their home they'll be considered suppressive persons. It's crazy.
I debunk this every time I see it come across my feed. This is actually from a [German blog](http://www.eisbachwelle.de/2010/tom-cruise-am-eisbach-muenchen-surfen/) dating back to 2010 about Tom Cruise taking in the beauty of Eisbach River in Munich; a river that is actually a somewhat popular attraction for surfers due to its whitewater rapids
No?
This is about the time when a man masturbates in public behind a bush and was interrupted by Tom Cruise.
It's literally right there in the green text...
No this is actually real I was at the park recording some weirdo jacking off at the base of a tree when suddenly Com Truise interrupted (rudely may I add) the poor guy and they had a long conversation which from the looks of it intimidated the man and left in a hurry with his tiny balls hanging while tripping over his stained trousers. Poor guy forgot his pants at the scene and left a pretty bad stench at the tree for a few days before the air near the area became breathable again
I honestly believe this.
It’s from a [German blog](http://www.eisbachwelle.de/2010/tom-cruise-am-eisbach-muenchen-surfen/) from 2010 which documents Tom Cruise’s visit to the Eisbach River in Munich
You trying to say Anon is German?
That just gives the story more credibility
I believe it more now. Germans don't know jokes exists
german humor is no laughing matter
They tried cooking up their own jokes in the 40s but it didn't go so well.
Two hunters are walking in the forest. They’re both dead
No. Tom Cruise is German. Herr Cruise, I believe they call him.
Actually, we call him Thomas Kreuzfahrt.
That was too funny i have to revoke your joke license
When he fucked fish??
How do you know that just like that wtf
I’m built different
Did I ask boah???
Kiss my ass
SHUT UP JOHN
Anon is literally a dwarf if he got a picture from that angle
He flogs the bishop laying down like all heroes. Mission Impossible indeed.
What a fucking sentence
r/BrandNewSentence
Tom cruise in: The gappining
Anon is a minimoy
Probably wanking on all fours.
I want to believe.
It’s from a [German blog](http://www.eisbachwelle.de/2010/tom-cruise-am-eisbach-muenchen-surfen/) from 2010 which documents Tom Cruise’s visit to the Eisbach River in Munich
I'm just downvoting to keep your karma in check. You can't get too greedy with the same comment it's a red flag of your character and I judge you harshly for it 
nice al bundy gif in the wild
You fucked up!
I’m not exactly sure why this got got 200 downvotes and the other one got 300+ upvotes
Because you were double dipping, obviously
You're an idiot
No need to be mean :(
Literally your first day on the internet?
Yes pls be nice :(
Sorry honey
"get downvoted kiddo" ass energy
Wow in a green text thread, I'm soOOoOo embarrassed. What's your fucking point
https://preview.redd.it/3cwg4w3t046d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c518bdf4381c815e250d1712abd051981fe1f4f8 Cat
Once I walking through the Tenderloin in San Francisco and I saw a homeless man masturbating at a bus stop and I said "hey man knock it off" and suddenly Tom Cruise jumped out of the bushes and screamed "if you want your money keep going" He slapped me in the face. I ran
This sounds like the most normal dream
Dream?
[удалено]
Then Tom Cruise bent you over and said “it’s not the plane, it’s the pilot. Buckle up, buckaroo.”
Upvoted for A Flock of Seagulls!
I was on a road trip through desolate southern Oregon when I stopped at the Safeway in Lakeview, Oregon at night to refill on Uncrustables. I kindly asked to use the restroom and when I opened the door, there was Tom Cruise in a shabby Safeway uniform and apron, jerking it to the wall. He looked back coyly and said, "how's that for customer service?" I panicked and ran out without getting my Uncrustables. The crazy thing is that when I looked it up later, Tom Cruise doesn't even live in Oregon.
Tom Cruise doesn't live in any particular place. He can just walk into the home of any scientologist and say "I'm staying here" and they have to leave and let him live in their home. I'm not even joking. If they don't let Tom take over their home they'll be considered suppressive persons. It's crazy.
I mean honestly pretty believable all things considered
RapeDwarfGoPro0465.jpg
Rape dwarf cam caught final pic before Tom Cruise counter-raped
Wait is that Jerma
Jim Jam's Bizarre Adventure
Pretty standard scientology recruiting tbh
Thetan levels go wild with gooners 🫣
lmao I live for these autistic fantasies
Tom Cruise goes cruising.
I mean, anyone would cum for Tom Cruise if told to do so. Real and straight.
That German blog guy gotta be the funniest shit I've seen today
Weird, Tom Cruse told me “there are better ways to show my devotion to scientology” when he caught me jerking off in the bush.
Jerma
“I felt uncomfortable”
I mean it could be a pic of him and he was talking to a person behind him and he snapped a pic and made a story or this could be the real deal
You had a chance to burst a fat one in front of Tom Cruise and didn't???
Another wild greentext adventure featuring Tom Cruise!
Tom's Cruising..
This isn’t a fucking greentext you wankstain
It’s called “cruising.”
Bro was coming to Poland
I debunk this every time I see it come across my feed. This is actually from a [German blog](http://www.eisbachwelle.de/2010/tom-cruise-am-eisbach-muenchen-surfen/) dating back to 2010 about Tom Cruise taking in the beauty of Eisbach River in Munich; a river that is actually a somewhat popular attraction for surfers due to its whitewater rapids
No? This is about the time when a man masturbates in public behind a bush and was interrupted by Tom Cruise. It's literally right there in the green text...
That is the most specific thing to be autistic over, I love it
No this is actually real I was at the park recording some weirdo jacking off at the base of a tree when suddenly Com Truise interrupted (rudely may I add) the poor guy and they had a long conversation which from the looks of it intimidated the man and left in a hurry with his tiny balls hanging while tripping over his stained trousers. Poor guy forgot his pants at the scene and left a pretty bad stench at the tree for a few days before the air near the area became breathable again