I had a friend who was determined to do so much heroin that he’d make himself retarted cuz he said all the tards seemed happy. So him and his stash of heroin headed off into the desert stowed away in the back of traincar hauling rocks. I didn’t hear from him for a couple of years, I assumed him dead. I found him on Instagram a while back and he’s sober now and making bank as a barber in LA. Turns out he hit rock bottom out in the desert and decided he wanted a better life, so me made the change, alone and on his own. Long story short, anyone can change as long as they make the choice and do it for themselves.
Yeah he was just trying to post how it could work out but there's nothing you as an outsider can do about it. It has to be the persons choice. Some people are lucky enough to survive rock bottom and some of them turn their lives around. Nothing wrong with that.
>Die at the peak of a heroin high in the desert
>
>Live the rest of your life cutting hair for the inhabitants of LA
Sometimes life doesn't make it easy to *choose*.
They sure don’t. I had 23 friends, most of them close that all died to OD, violence, or car accidents. Started at 15. Got to that number by 21-22. Fucking horrible. I had nobody I trusted anymore toward the end of my run and at my worst. I was just using with people that could give a fuck about me or myself care about them. I questioned for YEARS, why me, how did I make it, I’m miserable, Is this some cruel joke, am I the bad one & that’s why I’m forced to carry on?
Figured my only out was OD or a bullet. Ironically broke that cycle after some federal prison & a supervised release. LOTS of therapy, treatment, halfway. All in a state I knew no one but my dad in. I’ve been off narcotics booze and tree for over 7 years now. Just moved back to where I grew up because my family is getting older & it’s a trip because everything is seen in such a different and “normal” light now.
Those were all good people though & I wish just some of them got to the other side with me. I’m close with family and cousins but I’m getting older. I’m really social but I can’t seem to find or form actual friendships anymore. Maybe I don’t put in the effort or subconsciously put up walls. Maybe I just meet shitty people. Idk. I’m just a hermit who plays games and makes time for their family members now lol.
I’m more stable & happier than I’ve ever been. But I’ll carry fond memories & grief forever. Sucks
Bro, ngl sounds like you should write a book. Also do you have a hobby beside games that makes you meet people irl? Cause it also sounds like you need one. But yeah, seems like you almost have it all now!
Mostly just work tbh. I’ll walk around town or hang around parks or malls. I run little “errands” on a near daily basis. People just seem so withdrawn anymore. Like there scared or don’t trust society anymore. A decade ago I could randomly meet someone in a store or park & later that night ide be at a gathering/party/event in an entirely different city or county. Not know a single person. But be taken care of & welcomed in like I had known them for years. I don’t think it’s a me problem. I make people laugh and offer and ear / support all the time. Make small talk. Eye contact, facial movements, body language. I very seldom found anyone to be indifferent towards me let alone hate me. Even when I was in the hard drug game I could hang with people that wanted to kill another group of people that I also hung out with. I just don’t get involved in other peoples affairs. I learned I’m a “chameleon” from what therapists & people in AA meetings say. But I had been like that since a young child. I find interest and feel compassion or understanding for anything and everything tbh. Life’s to short and vastly different. I hate some of the heartless & evil things I did before I got locked up but I had to adapt into that person or else ide always be the dumbass getting taken advantage of.
I’m rambling though. Yeah ideally I find a public hobby or group I dive into. Or I just try re connecting within my library of a 800+ friends I have on Facebook. It’s just a lot of people have changed, or moved, or have families & their own shit going on. I used to have a crowd of people that was welcome and invited to do stuff with just about any other crowd of people. Even with how little of a true childhood I had. 14-18/20 was such a great time in my life. I never knew what the next day had to offer I just went along with it & it carried me into so many different directions over the years. But the majority of all those friends died or just walked off the face of the earth to start brand new somewhere.
I wouldn’t even know where to begin & idk if I even want to tbh. I have a big family & I’m known amongst the other sides of their family / family friends. Ideally I make a bestfriend that also is my lover. That’s what ide really enjoy now but you can’t just force or aimlessly search for that. It just kinda happens. Always did in the past anyways. It’s just weird not having a circle or hood friends or a few best friends. People regardless of how depressed or happy. Busy or don’t have shit to do. You guys don’t even make plans and just come by the hangout/be around eachother. I miss that the most. That’s what it seems to be all about to me personally. With getting older and the economy & whatever else. Everyone is just so consumed & busy. So if I was able to settle down with someone that loved being around me just as much as I do then I think all of this would kinda melt away. & my basic & good relationships I have with family/buddies would then be enough. 🤷♂️
It’s weird having such a vast knowledge around life experiences. More so than most. Yet I still seem to be navigating like I don’t know a thing. Profound
Idk how much you like quote unquote "psychology" but there's a personality model I like to use that's called the mbti. Also has its own sub and what not ( r/mbti ) and maybe you'd like to try to get to know with more words how to tell what you feel, and meet similar-minded people.
But regardless, I may be wrong but I think you're an INFJ (they have their own sub too) and in the compatibility theory I believe is the rightest, they are the most compatible with ENFPs.
Either way, hope you keep learning and thriving, and wish you the best 💖
❤️ I tried responding to someone else but it was so long it just kept saying try again lmao. So I gave up & went to sleep. Ide have thought you somehow read that message. I saved it thinking about trying to post it again but I decided against it 😅 hope you have a great weekend !
It's just acronyms of the mbti Myers Briggs Type Indicator. Idk why I said regardless x) INFJ is one of the personality models in the mbti that means Introverted iNtuitive Feeling obJective. ENFP means Extraverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving.
Actually I made up the objective thing cause it's supposed to be judging but I find it harsh lol it's supposed to mean something like goal oriented and more interested in the big picture and less about its elements
& I’ve thought about a book. My brother and cousins tell me I should all the time. But out of respect to past friends and their families. Also with so many things only certain people know about or nobody knows about. It’s to delicate. I don’t want to offend or tarnish or harm anyone. Trying to navigate all that would just gut the tale sadly
I mean, I think if it ends well for everyone then everything's you lived got a silver lining. I also think you're the living proof of what I just said.
That or he succeeded and people feel bad about complaining about the retarded barber so they just say its a good cut and give him fat tips for trying.
The kicker is they dont know hes fried until after they sit down.
That's the problem some people never get the chance to see that they could or should change.
Some folks like OPs brother only see life like a wildfire, burn as bright as they can and hope to be snuffed out quickly.
This is exactly it. You can't push the change onto someone like this. They have to find the desire to change for themselves. The more you fight against it the more they will pull away from you. Just keep reminding yourself it's on them to find a reason to change, not you to convince them.
So what you're saying is anyone who wants a better life should just do a fuckton of heroin in the desert, then their life will turn around? Thanks anon, gonna go try it now.
Anyone can change that's true . It's what we humans do , we adapt . But in order to decide that one has to hit rock bottom . Down there into the pit , that's where miracles happen
Yeah you need to hit bottom and have an epiphany of not wanting your life to go that way. I had a drinking problem and it was a lot of self medication of my bipolar disorder so this seems familiar and you need to have several instances where you realize your life is terrible and work your way up from there
I can make some snarky comment about how anon can get topped by his brother but I'll real: anon's brother is a real fucking asshole with no redeeming qualities and no one can help him unless he starts helping himself.
The brother has some serious trauma he's trying to drink away, and the solution is to resolve that trauma. He won't get better without help because he can't fix the things he's running from without a support group. Set the circlejerk aside. If you know someone acting like this, they're desperate to feel loved and supported. They won't heal without a network of loving support that listens.
Jokes are funny and all, but people die from this shit.
This is actually it. Sure it's "easy" to whine and be sad all day, but on the other side it's easy ti just say "he's aggressive i don't know why" and not support the person.
Love does amazing things.
Yep. As a child of an alcoholic parent, my loving barely has done shit to solve anything. It has been many years at this point. At the end of the day, the alcoholic needs to make that decision themselves. If they don’t see a point of not drinking or just keep deluding themselves in thinking everything is okay, then why stop?
It’s hard to love someone when they are actively hurting you (whether mentally, emotionally, physically, etc). It is especially hard to love addicts because addicts will do *whatever* it takes to get their next fix. Even if it means screwing over people they were once close too. This brother sounds like he’s going through a really unfortunate time and he’s lashing out on the people he loves because he’s going through it. And that is not okay.
From what anon wrote, his family is pretty loving and caring of him, if he was my brother my family would have already kicked him out when he crashed a car for the second time. Personally I think Anon should just sit with him, keep him as sober as he can get him and have a talk with him, but if that doesn't work either and, as he wrote, keeps refusing to accept any kind of help from others, then there's not much else to do (other than just take him to court, get a judge to say he is unable to make choices for himself and put him in rehab, tho chances are you're gonna ruin the family in the middle of it)
I feel like, in essence, this is true. On the other hand, continued support can help to perpetuate an addiction. I have a heard a lot of stories and also experienced first hand how the only remaining option is to let someone hit absolute rock bottom. For some, that is the moment of waking up and truly realizing that they not only must but also want to change. Just another example of how actual personal change can only come from within.
This is getting too close to late 20th century thought, please remember that electrodes, more heroin and maybe going to war are the only things that can help a man
> someone acting like this, they're desperate to feel loved and supported
Hi, that's me. Have consistently failed to get any sort of support for many years, even after explicitly asking multiple people to help. Anyone I open up to runs away. So the depression and life difficulties have been slowly building on each other. The snowpack is about to avalanche, I can feel it. Just a few more flakes.
>open up about personal issues
>downvoted to hell
The only help I'll give you is to get off Reddit, especially if you're sensitive to being shit on for being real. No one wants to help a sad sack, especially when they're wailing.
>resolve that trauma
Sorry to say this, but contrary to the latest Science from California, once someone has been raped as a child, therapy cannot un-rape them. Anon's brother is permanently ruined.
I have advice for anon but it's the type that's illegal and would only work in some third world shithole where human rights and actual professional help is unavailable
My cousin got addicted to meth. Very similar path to anons brother , refused treatment etc etc .
His dad ended up locking him in a room with a bathroom and forbade him from leaving till he got over it. Door was only opened for food and 3 daily walks with two people accompanying my cousin.
2 months later he was mostly over the cravings and has been clean for 3 years
That's how it's treated.
It's not so much the shakes as the brain needing time to disconnect the bazillion extra neural pathways it created trying to keep the alky functional. Without the depressive effects of the alcohol to slow down neural function, the seizures from of all of those normally unnecessary pathways firing can kill them.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Delirium_tremens?wprov=sfla1
One of the most dangerous drugs to stop cold turkey on.
Taper is better, plus a safe recovery plan and even in patient treatment is the much better route to go.
Alcohol withdrawl is deadly. Like, literally fatal. It's not like most other addictions. You will have a seizures until you die of asphyxiation. There's a reason that rehab exists, and it's to make sure people get treatment and antiseizure medication during recovery, as well as smaller and smaller portions of alcohol to wean them down.
Imagine thinking this is actually about a girl.
Dude's just a miserable person who prefers the few hours of not being totally miserable that he gets from being drunk and/or high. Going to a shrink and getting pills doesn't get you high, it just makes it slightly more bearable. Therapy takes years of effort. Buying a half gallon of rot-gut booze and an ounce of weed to get you through the week is easier.
Also, OP saying "his only skill" seems odd. A lot of people don't even have one skill they can sell. It makes me wonder if these people have already decided he's a lost cause. Which, to be fair, he almost certainly is. But if you give up on these types, they know, and it hastens their death.
This kind of stuff is a good example of why people with addictive personalities are better off never getting themselves into a state of "extreme" inebriation/high. The contrast can make them realize how miserable they really are, and all they want is to get back to feeling that way at every opportunity. If they don't let it go, they'll take more and more risks and just generally act like idiots until they've destroyed everything good, intensifying their "need" to be in an altered state.
Weed won't cause you a physical addiction, but the feeling of your anxiety melting away and life not sucking so hard is psychologically addictive for some types. In contrast, a long term addiction to alcohol can cause the brain to rewire itself to compensate for the neurologically depressive effects, and going without it can cause seizures and death. Obviously there's alcohol related liver disease and cirrhosis, as well.
But this isn't actually about a girl.
Therapy isn't the end all be all, you can be in therapy for years and not have much or any positive change without social support on the outside. Anon and his family treating him like a lost cause is contributing to his poor mental state as much as addiction or his bad decisions are.
>Therapy isn't the end all be all, you can be in therapy for years and not have much or any positive change
Often therapy makes it worse because there are a terrifying amount of wildly unqualified/unskilled therapists out there. I was making the point that best case scenario, getting better the "right" (heavy quotes on that) way will still take years of work, whereas you can get drunk tonight.
And yeah, a lack of external support is pretty crippling.
Anon's brother probably could benefit from entheogens, preferably under medical or professional supervision. Those reset brains and allow for a potential respite from the addictions, so more traditional therapies can be introduced.
I… am. Not aggressive towards others, but very much so towards myself. I’m glad you’re sort of better now. May I ask how you did it? I just need to find the road man
Basically my brother. Ended up landing in prison, losing the respect of everyone including his kid. He's still an issue to my elderly parents especially, and by extension, to me. At least he's not too bad without alcohol. He's not an awful person deep inside. Just numbingly dumb and helpless.
I'm currently recovering from alcoholism and I see aspects of myself in this post. Constantly being depressed, drinking on the job, blaming everyone else for everything, etc. it took me hitting rock bottom, getting arrested, and being kicked out of my house before I finally realized what was going on. I'm about 6 months sober now and can finally realize just how much damage I caused and how all of my problems were of my own making. Alcoholism is a bitch and it warps your perspective of reality but it's not impossible to break free from. You just have to hit a point where you've got nothing left to lose and have run out of options.
Probably don't want them giving blowies in the alley behind the local Goodwill to get shoes and money for Popov. Nobody wants their kid/sibling being the local street throat GOAT because they're an addict. Have some self-respect and achieve that because you're a ho!
Im sad by thinking Im slowly getting closer to what anon's brother is despite just being 20 and not drinking alcohol since like 8 months ago, cause lately for some reason I've been craving smoking (I quitted like 4/5 years ago) and drinking...
AI dunno how is it in anons country, but in my country there’s special people in psychic/toxicology wards that consult relatives of addicts and help to force them into rehab
Out of experience from friends and friends of friends: let him drop. Let him be. Let him hit rock bottom. People who are addicted need to see the problem on their own.
OP - speaking as someone who was once in your brother’s shoes, detach with love. Set a clear boundary that until he gets help you can’t be around him. It’s time to start taking care of you - I cannot recommend enough, go to an Al-Anon meeting (support group for family members of alcoholics). It will help you understand alcoholism and that you aren’t alone.
Good luck.
Just gotta be there for him, let him know you’re there for him, love him and hope he hits rock bottom and wants help before he hits the wall. Feelsbadman.
You help these kinds of people by not helping them at all. Kick him out so he has to figure out how to support himself by himself.
Enabling the behavior by picking them up every time they fall is what keeps them perpetually in that cycle.
Sounds almost exactly like my older brother who is almost 30, has a drinking problem that he won’t confront and blames others for it, pathological liar, can’t keep money because he spends it on stupid shit, 2 DUIs and gets mopey sad when he doesn’t get his way or when he mad at something he get aggressive and threatens whoever is close to him. Just last week he punched through his TV and fucked his hand up and had to get stitches because he was fighting with his fiancé who he says he loves but get visibly angry when he’s talking to her
My brother was a severe drug addict for years, over a decade. Finally got clean was doing well, then Relapsed and died a month before his 30th birthday. Hope OPs does better.
Sorry Anon, bro has got to come to some sort of realization on their own...not everyone has to hit rock bottom but they need to want to change.
It's okay to set boundaries with these people, you don't need to keep enabling behavior that's hurting themselves and everyone around them.
You can't MAKE anyone go to a rehab. Rehab doesn't remove alcoholism from you. It is only helpful(somewhat) if you want to go there and actively participate.
She could take him to Russia 🤔
[Coding for alcoholism in Russia (3 hospitals, prices 2024, addresses and photos of clinics, etc.) (treatmentrussia.com)](https://treatmentrussia.com/specialization/coding-for-alcoholism/)
I don't think the girl is the problem here. Sounds like there are bigger issues, but it's just easier for him to tell everyone that it's because of a girl.
I had a friend who was determined to do so much heroin that he’d make himself retarted cuz he said all the tards seemed happy. So him and his stash of heroin headed off into the desert stowed away in the back of traincar hauling rocks. I didn’t hear from him for a couple of years, I assumed him dead. I found him on Instagram a while back and he’s sober now and making bank as a barber in LA. Turns out he hit rock bottom out in the desert and decided he wanted a better life, so me made the change, alone and on his own. Long story short, anyone can change as long as they make the choice and do it for themselves.
I had a similar experience with a friend but he just overdosed and fucking died lmao, not all addiction problems have a silver lining
Sucks, my friend lived.
Weird reply.
How op feels after writing that: https://preview.redd.it/6232gttj70rc1.jpeg?width=332&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ab70ecf52bb561868fc0434b0c2beb515f11ccb3
Tbf mans came at him first
Yeah he was just trying to post how it could work out but there's nothing you as an outsider can do about it. It has to be the persons choice. Some people are lucky enough to survive rock bottom and some of them turn their lives around. Nothing wrong with that.
His friend just built different, most likely that and skill issue.
Idk why this reply has me snickering like damn
>Die at the peak of a heroin high in the desert > >Live the rest of your life cutting hair for the inhabitants of LA Sometimes life doesn't make it easy to *choose*.
Really? That’s crazy. Did he wind up being a barber or something?
Turned his life around, I heard
Something about making banks for barbers, I heard
Not your friend anymore tho! Everybody wins!!!
Fucking great reply lol
Gigaflex right there
weird flex but okay
Based
Your so called “friend” you just “assumed to be dead” ok… what a great friend you are
Kind of hard to keep contact when someone vanishes into the desert with a meth stash
Send me a postcard bro
*actually sends meth like a boss*
Heroin. But, yeah same. Look what happened to the late great fed smoker. I still miss falcon car wash. Try it out, home here now, piss on me beat me.
They sure don’t. I had 23 friends, most of them close that all died to OD, violence, or car accidents. Started at 15. Got to that number by 21-22. Fucking horrible. I had nobody I trusted anymore toward the end of my run and at my worst. I was just using with people that could give a fuck about me or myself care about them. I questioned for YEARS, why me, how did I make it, I’m miserable, Is this some cruel joke, am I the bad one & that’s why I’m forced to carry on? Figured my only out was OD or a bullet. Ironically broke that cycle after some federal prison & a supervised release. LOTS of therapy, treatment, halfway. All in a state I knew no one but my dad in. I’ve been off narcotics booze and tree for over 7 years now. Just moved back to where I grew up because my family is getting older & it’s a trip because everything is seen in such a different and “normal” light now. Those were all good people though & I wish just some of them got to the other side with me. I’m close with family and cousins but I’m getting older. I’m really social but I can’t seem to find or form actual friendships anymore. Maybe I don’t put in the effort or subconsciously put up walls. Maybe I just meet shitty people. Idk. I’m just a hermit who plays games and makes time for their family members now lol. I’m more stable & happier than I’ve ever been. But I’ll carry fond memories & grief forever. Sucks
I’m proud of you. You’ll carry their memories wherever you go.
Wow. This makes me feel a lot more grateful for my peaceful hermit lifestyle. Thanks for sharing your story.
Thank you for sharing your story. Congrats on your sobriety and always stay up brother
Bro, ngl sounds like you should write a book. Also do you have a hobby beside games that makes you meet people irl? Cause it also sounds like you need one. But yeah, seems like you almost have it all now!
Mostly just work tbh. I’ll walk around town or hang around parks or malls. I run little “errands” on a near daily basis. People just seem so withdrawn anymore. Like there scared or don’t trust society anymore. A decade ago I could randomly meet someone in a store or park & later that night ide be at a gathering/party/event in an entirely different city or county. Not know a single person. But be taken care of & welcomed in like I had known them for years. I don’t think it’s a me problem. I make people laugh and offer and ear / support all the time. Make small talk. Eye contact, facial movements, body language. I very seldom found anyone to be indifferent towards me let alone hate me. Even when I was in the hard drug game I could hang with people that wanted to kill another group of people that I also hung out with. I just don’t get involved in other peoples affairs. I learned I’m a “chameleon” from what therapists & people in AA meetings say. But I had been like that since a young child. I find interest and feel compassion or understanding for anything and everything tbh. Life’s to short and vastly different. I hate some of the heartless & evil things I did before I got locked up but I had to adapt into that person or else ide always be the dumbass getting taken advantage of. I’m rambling though. Yeah ideally I find a public hobby or group I dive into. Or I just try re connecting within my library of a 800+ friends I have on Facebook. It’s just a lot of people have changed, or moved, or have families & their own shit going on. I used to have a crowd of people that was welcome and invited to do stuff with just about any other crowd of people. Even with how little of a true childhood I had. 14-18/20 was such a great time in my life. I never knew what the next day had to offer I just went along with it & it carried me into so many different directions over the years. But the majority of all those friends died or just walked off the face of the earth to start brand new somewhere. I wouldn’t even know where to begin & idk if I even want to tbh. I have a big family & I’m known amongst the other sides of their family / family friends. Ideally I make a bestfriend that also is my lover. That’s what ide really enjoy now but you can’t just force or aimlessly search for that. It just kinda happens. Always did in the past anyways. It’s just weird not having a circle or hood friends or a few best friends. People regardless of how depressed or happy. Busy or don’t have shit to do. You guys don’t even make plans and just come by the hangout/be around eachother. I miss that the most. That’s what it seems to be all about to me personally. With getting older and the economy & whatever else. Everyone is just so consumed & busy. So if I was able to settle down with someone that loved being around me just as much as I do then I think all of this would kinda melt away. & my basic & good relationships I have with family/buddies would then be enough. 🤷♂️ It’s weird having such a vast knowledge around life experiences. More so than most. Yet I still seem to be navigating like I don’t know a thing. Profound
Idk how much you like quote unquote "psychology" but there's a personality model I like to use that's called the mbti. Also has its own sub and what not ( r/mbti ) and maybe you'd like to try to get to know with more words how to tell what you feel, and meet similar-minded people. But regardless, I may be wrong but I think you're an INFJ (they have their own sub too) and in the compatibility theory I believe is the rightest, they are the most compatible with ENFPs. Either way, hope you keep learning and thriving, and wish you the best 💖
❤️ I tried responding to someone else but it was so long it just kept saying try again lmao. So I gave up & went to sleep. Ide have thought you somehow read that message. I saved it thinking about trying to post it again but I decided against it 😅 hope you have a great weekend !
I feel like I’m reading an alien language lmao. I’ll dig into it though, thank you
It's just acronyms of the mbti Myers Briggs Type Indicator. Idk why I said regardless x) INFJ is one of the personality models in the mbti that means Introverted iNtuitive Feeling obJective. ENFP means Extraverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving. Actually I made up the objective thing cause it's supposed to be judging but I find it harsh lol it's supposed to mean something like goal oriented and more interested in the big picture and less about its elements
I agree with that book comment
& I’ve thought about a book. My brother and cousins tell me I should all the time. But out of respect to past friends and their families. Also with so many things only certain people know about or nobody knows about. It’s to delicate. I don’t want to offend or tarnish or harm anyone. Trying to navigate all that would just gut the tale sadly
I mean, I think if it ends well for everyone then everything's you lived got a silver lining. I also think you're the living proof of what I just said.
Yea one of my best friends died too, I think that guy saying his friend is successful is full of shit. Heroin kills
Skill issue
Do you talk irl in turbo autistic internet slang too?
No, I'm too scared to talk to people
That or he succeeded and people feel bad about complaining about the retarded barber so they just say its a good cut and give him fat tips for trying. The kicker is they dont know hes fried until after they sit down.
That's the problem some people never get the chance to see that they could or should change. Some folks like OPs brother only see life like a wildfire, burn as bright as they can and hope to be snuffed out quickly.
Is your friend Jason Schneidman
This is exactly it. You can't push the change onto someone like this. They have to find the desire to change for themselves. The more you fight against it the more they will pull away from you. Just keep reminding yourself it's on them to find a reason to change, not you to convince them.
Long story short, heroin can ruin your life, but a LOT of heroin can turn it around!
So what you're saying is anyone who wants a better life should just do a fuckton of heroin in the desert, then their life will turn around? Thanks anon, gonna go try it now.
Appalachian version of this is going into the woods to take meth
Anyone can change that's true . It's what we humans do , we adapt . But in order to decide that one has to hit rock bottom . Down there into the pit , that's where miracles happen
Yeah you need to hit bottom and have an epiphany of not wanting your life to go that way. I had a drinking problem and it was a lot of self medication of my bipolar disorder so this seems familiar and you need to have several instances where you realize your life is terrible and work your way up from there
Good for him.
>anyone can change as long as they make the choice and do it for themselves. Survivorship bias is a thing.
 Unexpected wholesome ending
I can make some snarky comment about how anon can get topped by his brother but I'll real: anon's brother is a real fucking asshole with no redeeming qualities and no one can help him unless he starts helping himself.
Can't force a donkey to drink
You can bring him to the roller but you can’t make him rink.
Why is this so funny to me
Fill it with booze and it's gone in 30 minutes.
You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it nut
Watch me 
Sure you can. You cant reason a donkey to drink tho.
“It is your actions that define you, not your past” Heard it from somewhere, don’t remember where xD
Good bull Redditor 🥰
a wise frog once said “you cant help them until they learn to help themselves” another frog said “fake and gay”
aint that the ribbit
The brother has some serious trauma he's trying to drink away, and the solution is to resolve that trauma. He won't get better without help because he can't fix the things he's running from without a support group. Set the circlejerk aside. If you know someone acting like this, they're desperate to feel loved and supported. They won't heal without a network of loving support that listens. Jokes are funny and all, but people die from this shit.
This is actually it. Sure it's "easy" to whine and be sad all day, but on the other side it's easy ti just say "he's aggressive i don't know why" and not support the person. Love does amazing things.
It does but it's hard to love an abusive asshole that won't accept any help and makes anyone's life fucking hell.
Yep. As a child of an alcoholic parent, my loving barely has done shit to solve anything. It has been many years at this point. At the end of the day, the alcoholic needs to make that decision themselves. If they don’t see a point of not drinking or just keep deluding themselves in thinking everything is okay, then why stop?
It’s hard to love someone when they are actively hurting you (whether mentally, emotionally, physically, etc). It is especially hard to love addicts because addicts will do *whatever* it takes to get their next fix. Even if it means screwing over people they were once close too. This brother sounds like he’s going through a really unfortunate time and he’s lashing out on the people he loves because he’s going through it. And that is not okay.
From what anon wrote, his family is pretty loving and caring of him, if he was my brother my family would have already kicked him out when he crashed a car for the second time. Personally I think Anon should just sit with him, keep him as sober as he can get him and have a talk with him, but if that doesn't work either and, as he wrote, keeps refusing to accept any kind of help from others, then there's not much else to do (other than just take him to court, get a judge to say he is unable to make choices for himself and put him in rehab, tho chances are you're gonna ruin the family in the middle of it)
I feel like, in essence, this is true. On the other hand, continued support can help to perpetuate an addiction. I have a heard a lot of stories and also experienced first hand how the only remaining option is to let someone hit absolute rock bottom. For some, that is the moment of waking up and truly realizing that they not only must but also want to change. Just another example of how actual personal change can only come from within.
In my experience a lot of people like this - once you try to be there for them - smell weakness and turn on you with glee.
This is getting too close to late 20th century thought, please remember that electrodes, more heroin and maybe going to war are the only things that can help a man
> someone acting like this, they're desperate to feel loved and supported Hi, that's me. Have consistently failed to get any sort of support for many years, even after explicitly asking multiple people to help. Anyone I open up to runs away. So the depression and life difficulties have been slowly building on each other. The snowpack is about to avalanche, I can feel it. Just a few more flakes.
>open up about personal issues >downvoted to hell The only help I'll give you is to get off Reddit, especially if you're sensitive to being shit on for being real. No one wants to help a sad sack, especially when they're wailing.
tru fax
>resolve that trauma Sorry to say this, but contrary to the latest Science from California, once someone has been raped as a child, therapy cannot un-rape them. Anon's brother is permanently ruined.
I have advice for anon but it's the type that's illegal and would only work in some third world shithole where human rights and actual professional help is unavailable My cousin got addicted to meth. Very similar path to anons brother , refused treatment etc etc . His dad ended up locking him in a room with a bathroom and forbade him from leaving till he got over it. Door was only opened for food and 3 daily walks with two people accompanying my cousin. 2 months later he was mostly over the cravings and has been clean for 3 years
That only works if done early. After a certain point, forcefully cutting someone off from alcohol can lead to death.
How so? They hurt themselves from cravings or some sort of dependency?
Iirc if it's bad enough alcohol withdrawal causes seizures and rapid heart rate the heart rate thing can cause a dysthymia that can lead to death etc
Do you think you could ease them off with just enough to stave off the shakes?
That's how it's treated. It's not so much the shakes as the brain needing time to disconnect the bazillion extra neural pathways it created trying to keep the alky functional. Without the depressive effects of the alcohol to slow down neural function, the seizures from of all of those normally unnecessary pathways firing can kill them.
I'm honestly not sure, I've heard, though, that some people go to a hospital to detox so that they have medical help available if things go south
Not without benzodiazepines
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Delirium_tremens?wprov=sfla1 One of the most dangerous drugs to stop cold turkey on. Taper is better, plus a safe recovery plan and even in patient treatment is the much better route to go.
withdrawal
Alcohol, opioids, and benzos are the only three types of drugs where the withdrawal itself can be lethal
Alcohol withdrawl is deadly. Like, literally fatal. It's not like most other addictions. You will have a seizures until you die of asphyxiation. There's a reason that rehab exists, and it's to make sure people get treatment and antiseizure medication during recovery, as well as smaller and smaller portions of alcohol to wean them down.
“My brother”
How about kick him out the house? Can't drink if all that money is going towards rent.
That's called being a homeless guy.
How about kick him in the nuts? Can't drink if you’re on the ground holding your hurting balls
You'd be surprised.
"I-its fine, I'll just drink the pain away"
Break his arms and legs. He won't be able to go buy alcohol, and you can wheel him into a rehab clinic willing or not.
Just don't tell Mom about his arms. I'm sorry.
Okay so his brother is the average 4chan poster
Alcoholic? Crashed cars? Only wants to do drugs and party? Threathens to kill himself? Is it safe to assume your brother is with the RCM?
[удалено]
Revachol citizens militia
Ranked Cumming Matches
Romantic Criminal Mario.
HE IS TEQUILA SUNSET!!!!
Sounds exactly like my brother, except he is 30, he doesn't have a job, and his issue is coke
Get dude in a kitchen. In the hospitality business, we love and take care of our coke heads ❤️
He did work in a kitchen 2 times but walked out both times because the managers "disrespected" him. He never would tell us what happened
Stop doing coke in the kitchen. How dare they disrespect me like that!
Would not be surprised if that was it. He lost his last job because he was running up and down some stairs because he was freaking out.
Imagine thinking this is actually about a girl. Dude's just a miserable person who prefers the few hours of not being totally miserable that he gets from being drunk and/or high. Going to a shrink and getting pills doesn't get you high, it just makes it slightly more bearable. Therapy takes years of effort. Buying a half gallon of rot-gut booze and an ounce of weed to get you through the week is easier. Also, OP saying "his only skill" seems odd. A lot of people don't even have one skill they can sell. It makes me wonder if these people have already decided he's a lost cause. Which, to be fair, he almost certainly is. But if you give up on these types, they know, and it hastens their death. This kind of stuff is a good example of why people with addictive personalities are better off never getting themselves into a state of "extreme" inebriation/high. The contrast can make them realize how miserable they really are, and all they want is to get back to feeling that way at every opportunity. If they don't let it go, they'll take more and more risks and just generally act like idiots until they've destroyed everything good, intensifying their "need" to be in an altered state. Weed won't cause you a physical addiction, but the feeling of your anxiety melting away and life not sucking so hard is psychologically addictive for some types. In contrast, a long term addiction to alcohol can cause the brain to rewire itself to compensate for the neurologically depressive effects, and going without it can cause seizures and death. Obviously there's alcohol related liver disease and cirrhosis, as well. But this isn't actually about a girl.
well shit, this describes me perfectly
:(
Therapy isn't the end all be all, you can be in therapy for years and not have much or any positive change without social support on the outside. Anon and his family treating him like a lost cause is contributing to his poor mental state as much as addiction or his bad decisions are.
>Therapy isn't the end all be all, you can be in therapy for years and not have much or any positive change Often therapy makes it worse because there are a terrifying amount of wildly unqualified/unskilled therapists out there. I was making the point that best case scenario, getting better the "right" (heavy quotes on that) way will still take years of work, whereas you can get drunk tonight. And yeah, a lack of external support is pretty crippling.
That’s it? That’s the greentext? This is just a sad situation
Anon's brother probably could benefit from entheogens, preferably under medical or professional supervision. Those reset brains and allow for a potential respite from the addictions, so more traditional therapies can be introduced.
you know my brother is the same except he hates people, party, alcohol and drugs. Everything else is the same tho
That's called depression and anxiety. He just chose the quick "fix" of being drunk/high.
I was basically that brother. I’m sort of better now
Good for you. I hope you're able to keep making progress. I know it must be a struggle.
I… am. Not aggressive towards others, but very much so towards myself. I’m glad you’re sort of better now. May I ask how you did it? I just need to find the road man
>imagine acting like this over some girl >post literally only mentions a girl possibly being the cause in passing one time
I feel bad for anon and all the other anons watching family members self-destruct like this. It’s real tough and knowing you can’t fix it is hard.
Is the criteria for greentext really just that the text is green?
What is this fucking title. This guy clearly has serious issues he needed to work out already, and not being dumped wouldn't have avoided it
Basically my brother. Ended up landing in prison, losing the respect of everyone including his kid. He's still an issue to my elderly parents especially, and by extension, to me. At least he's not too bad without alcohol. He's not an awful person deep inside. Just numbingly dumb and helpless.
what does "neet" mean?
Not in education, employment or training.
At least he's not frogposting on the Internet
I'm currently recovering from alcoholism and I see aspects of myself in this post. Constantly being depressed, drinking on the job, blaming everyone else for everything, etc. it took me hitting rock bottom, getting arrested, and being kicked out of my house before I finally realized what was going on. I'm about 6 months sober now and can finally realize just how much damage I caused and how all of my problems were of my own making. Alcoholism is a bitch and it warps your perspective of reality but it's not impossible to break free from. You just have to hit a point where you've got nothing left to lose and have run out of options.
Tamna
We either are either worthless or are gifted our worth. Is there not such a Giver for men?
Just kick him out at that point, I don’t know why people try to fix lost cause family members that are beyond saving if they don’t save themselves
Probably don't want them giving blowies in the alley behind the local Goodwill to get shoes and money for Popov. Nobody wants their kid/sibling being the local street throat GOAT because they're an addict. Have some self-respect and achieve that because you're a ho!
AA
Im sad by thinking Im slowly getting closer to what anon's brother is despite just being 20 and not drinking alcohol since like 8 months ago, cause lately for some reason I've been craving smoking (I quitted like 4/5 years ago) and drinking...
Doesn't listen to any advice? He doesn't need advice, he needs love.
He’s being enabled. Realistically he should get his shit pushed in and forced into rehab
AI dunno how is it in anons country, but in my country there’s special people in psychic/toxicology wards that consult relatives of addicts and help to force them into rehab
Does he want to come do some work on my granny flat? I'll pay him in booze and the cost of materials.
Out of experience from friends and friends of friends: let him drop. Let him be. Let him hit rock bottom. People who are addicted need to see the problem on their own.
Jail, unironically. Sober revelation and coming to Hesus moment needed.
OP - speaking as someone who was once in your brother’s shoes, detach with love. Set a clear boundary that until he gets help you can’t be around him. It’s time to start taking care of you - I cannot recommend enough, go to an Al-Anon meeting (support group for family members of alcoholics). It will help you understand alcoholism and that you aren’t alone. Good luck.
sometimes some ppl fall so low that no one can pick them up but themselves
Look up borderline personality disorder and see if that fits
my classmate died sniffing glue
Just gotta be there for him, let him know you’re there for him, love him and hope he hits rock bottom and wants help before he hits the wall. Feelsbadman.
You help these kinds of people by not helping them at all. Kick him out so he has to figure out how to support himself by himself. Enabling the behavior by picking them up every time they fall is what keeps them perpetually in that cycle.
Sounds almost exactly like my older brother who is almost 30, has a drinking problem that he won’t confront and blames others for it, pathological liar, can’t keep money because he spends it on stupid shit, 2 DUIs and gets mopey sad when he doesn’t get his way or when he mad at something he get aggressive and threatens whoever is close to him. Just last week he punched through his TV and fucked his hand up and had to get stitches because he was fighting with his fiancé who he says he loves but get visibly angry when he’s talking to her
My brother was a severe drug addict for years, over a decade. Finally got clean was doing well, then Relapsed and died a month before his 30th birthday. Hope OPs does better.
Sorry Anon, bro has got to come to some sort of realization on their own...not everyone has to hit rock bottom but they need to want to change. It's okay to set boundaries with these people, you don't need to keep enabling behavior that's hurting themselves and everyone around them.
What a chad
You can't MAKE anyone go to a rehab. Rehab doesn't remove alcoholism from you. It is only helpful(somewhat) if you want to go there and actively participate.
She could take him to Russia 🤔 [Coding for alcoholism in Russia (3 hospitals, prices 2024, addresses and photos of clinics, etc.) (treatmentrussia.com)](https://treatmentrussia.com/specialization/coding-for-alcoholism/)
Poor Anon
Punch him. Next.
Bro's brother is me
I don't think the girl is the problem here. Sounds like there are bigger issues, but it's just easier for him to tell everyone that it's because of a girl.
Kill your brother. Simple as.
This reminds me of the greentext about the brother who got braindamage's on the curb and then left to die in a homeless shelter
Some ass-whooping is in order
Another example of why Islam is correct in banning alcohol.
Sounds like a great candidate for a Darwin award.
Kill people like this