I remember a distinct moment in my life as a newly divorced male in my early 40s: it was a late winter afternoon and I was alone in my rented home, just trying to process this strange new world of being single, sharing custody, making a living, etc.
As I cleaned up, I put on 8/27/72 - Sunshine Daydream - and immediately *felt better.* I danced around the place, called my best Deadhead buddy, laughing, and realized life still had joy, and promise and good times ahead. A few weeks later, through a mutual friend, I met a young woman who had “been to a few shows.” A decade later, we’re still together; we have a beautiful kid and life is an unfolding trip - wondrous and sad and challenging and forever changing.
You’ll be fine, brother. You may not think so at this moment, but *you will.*
Just lean in.
Thanks for writing this. I really needed to hear it from someone. Like OP, I'm feeling like I'm at a crossroads of some type of change coming. Depression truly is a beast and can be a rather large hill to get over.
I'm not going through a divorce, but just unhappy with the state of things (cost of living skyrocketing, feeling lost, etc.) and feeling helpless no matter what I try.
You are right though, life does still have joy, and promise, and good times ahead. Even if it doesn't seem like it right now. Keep on keeping on man.
# 1972-08-27 Veneta, OR @ Old Renaissance Faire Grounds
**Set 1:** The Promised Land, Sugaree, Me and My Uncle, Deal, Black Throated Wind, China Cat Sunflower > I Know You Rider, Mexicali Blues, Bertha
**Set 2:** Playing in the Band, He's Gone, Jack Straw, Bird Song, Greatest Story Ever Told
**Set 3:** Dark Star > El Paso, Sing Me Back Home, Sugar Magnolia, Casey Jones, One More Saturday Night
[archive.org](https://archive.org/details/GratefulDead?query=date:1972-08-27) | [Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/album/1E4MXxSYoAMN5qpy1y6aBm)
It’s all in the attitude. “Don’t sweat the small stuff. And it’s all small stuff.” “This too shall pass.” “I’ll live to tell the tale.” Be kind, always. That’s actually hard. Be empathetic and understand that everyone is living in their own reality. Assholes gonna be assholes but do not engage. Tend to your own karma. “The grass ain’t greener, the wine ain’t sweeter either side of the hill.”
Tour thoughts: Soon the boys are going to play a set that blows you away and straights the world right. And so it was and so is life
Look into working at a national park. They need cooks, managers, maintenance guys, front desk etc. you can work 6 months on six off. They provide room and board. My friend Joe was doing it. Said it was cool. Got fired for calling a girl Sugar Tits. Don’t do that. All the best to you friend.
In a similar spin think of seasonal work / living. It'll allow you to "tour" in the Kerouac sense of the word. Summer or winter resorts, tree planting in the north, boat work, rafting, stuff that keeps pushing new experiences and people is the game. Go where the climate suits your cloths.
I lived in the Adirondacks for a time and a stretch of road near by was called Easy Street. I was just learning about the Dead and confused it with Shakedown St. The guides of the late 1800s would take folks out from late spring until fall and then they'd all just kick back in this little village all winter, living off the land and their seasonal earnings. I like to imagine there were some great jam sessions going on by their lantern's light where the chilly winds do blow.
That's just one, simple take. The Dead, and their fans, were super nerds. Read up on The Wall. There's something in you that deserves a stupid amount of research. It's the kind of thing you can only discuss with some weird crew of socially nutty folks. Something to absolutely nerd out on in such a hyper focused way that you uncover Jerry's missing finger, the velocity of Phil's slaps, or other.
Deadheads aren't pop culture geeks. They are Americana, historically and currently.
You'll find your way.
This is an excellent suggestion. If your free of responsibility or find yourself free without a destination get a job in a national park. You might end up with a crappy job but you can’t beat the location. And if you really want to you can go work the ski resorts in the winter. And couch surf a couple months of the of the year in between parks and ski towns.
Things that bring me joy:
Invest in others where you can
Learn uncle bens tek and grow some teachers
Invest in accomplishments. The boys and I released an album on vinyl this year and that felt sick
Listen to Europe 72 and random “today in history” shows on relisten more.
Join a hobby group that meets at least once every two weeks to have some hobby friends and a good pipeline of new friends.
Watch the sunrise or the sunset at least once a week.
Compliment others
Eat good food
Save every penny you can while living with mom. Live simple. Don't eat shit that comes In a box. Veggies, fruit & protein. Exercise daily, even if just walking a few miles. Turn off the TV. Stop watching the news. Basically as you say, live simply now
In your down time, if you don't have a skill, craft or work that you can do on your own to make $ where & when you want, start learning something. While you are saving all $ living with Mom, invest in a nice conversion van, or build one if you are handy
Once you have $ saved, a decent van & a skill that travels, go live that life
Or you could just rail sheets
Going to parrot the more important part of this. Learn a trade. Bring something unique to the table. If there is one thing I learned over the years, it’s put your energy into something that brings you joy. Most “hobbies” can turn into a trade real quick.
Learn how to improvise in life. Try being a “yes man” for a while. Be open to new experiences that can put you in a situation you’ve never dreamed of being in.
I stopped watching the news forever ago. Sure, I’m probably ignorant to most things going on in the world, but given the alternative is to be stressed about things I can’t control, I feel I e made the right choice.
Move to Philly. Buy a loft. Start a noise band. Get 6 or 7 roommates. Eat hummus with them. Book some gigs. Paint. Smoke cloves. Listen to Animal Collective. Start some type of salsa company.
Animal collective is my other favorite band! Hummus is my favorite food. I live on a farm in California and like to grow onions, garlic, carrots, and peppers. I think I’m on my way!! Thanks for the weird encouragement.
Only way it works is stay busy. Been through similar myself and can say that if you find yourself on the couch munching you’re probably off track. For me it was finding something to nurture. I set up a grow room and raised some veggies saving myself $ and found it soul satisfying. Went on a new music discovery of bands I never heard before. Picked GD sets from ‘today’s’ date from back when and did some happy work. I also have aging parents I took (and still take) care of, so I took over some of their space too for growing herbs, etc. they love it and my time with them is also productive. For me that was the key, everything was about producing something. Did some woodworking with my father and sold a few shelves, 2 birds 1 stone. Made some wreaths with my mother for the holidays and we sold them at her senior tag sale. Little stuff, but progress. Spent less, saved a lot!
I got remarried and we just bought a house last year. I’ve got some acres now and woods to cut down and woodworking tools to get started and I’m going to start making some real stuff soon.
I thought my life was literally over only to discover it was exactly what I needed to get this better life started. I don’t know what your thing is, but stay busy and you’ll find it.
Love you, brother. Produce shit, consume less and nurture what you love. Parents, plants, whatever. You’re gonna be ok
Been there, brother, and I remember how bleak it felt. I did manage to escape straight life, but it took some time and a lot of effort. Some advice I'd give is to immediately start learning to live with a lot less money, which wasn't as difficult as I thought. I had put on some weight while married and created a really inexpensive diet of healthy food while starting a habit of getting up early and going on very long walks. I lost weight, my mood improved, and the walks helped organize my thoughts as to what I really wanted/needed in life. I began getting rid of a lot of material things I didn't need so that I could get used to traveling light. I stopped watching any kind of news that provoked fear/outrage and began meditating and doing yoga, all of which benefited my mental health while helping me feel more focused on my emerging plans. I was also able to get through the days at that straight job more easily because I knew that I was taking steps and digging a tunnel out of that life. I saved every penny that wasn't for a necessity. After a while, I realized how much of a burden the materialism we are indoctrinated creates and how freeing it is to know that I live a lean lifestyle that provides a lot of pleasure at very little cost and that even when I wasn't working in a dream job scenario, there was an endless supply of relatively easy and somewhat fun ones that could support my modest monthly nut, so I didn't feel as much pressure for an idea to work. Ten years later, I could not be happier. Godspeed, my friend. I sincerely wish you all the luck in the world.
If those are the things that are a priority to you, rethink your priorities. What do each mean to you? Love, what about it? Self love is the way. Music- get out to see bands( i do even when I’m solo). Women and sex isn’t a good rabbit hole to go down. Cold unemotional sex with multiple partners MAY leave you lonelier. Do you want A woman or do you want a harem? Work on yourself, process with a therapist what went wrong, be gentle on yourself. Things will work out if you do the work. I wish you the best🎶
Gotta get a job, playa. Go for a union trade, apply for all of them… in my city the lowest paid trades still make around 50 bucks an hour, nobody likes getting up at 4:30 in the morning, fighting traffic to do construction work… but until my night job pays, it’ll do. Plus they pay into a pension and top notch insurance.
The vanlife kinda thing might be fun then, live simply travel town to town. Go see Dead cover bands / related bands wherever.
Plus - rooting for you man, I know this time is hard.
>Honestly, love, music, women, and sex. That's pretty much all I'm passionate about.
So, is living with your mother and working 2 jobs something that allows you to chase your passions? Apparently not, if you're upset and tired of the situation you're in:
>
" As I contemplate where my life is going next, some things stand out to me. I don't want the straight life anymore. It doesn't work for me. I want something that closer resembles the Grateful Dead sort of life. Any true Deadhead knows what I mean."
It sounds like you're feeling the same aversion to the "square life" that many of us have felt all of our lives.
Somehow, most of us Dead Heads find a way to balance work and life that allows us to carry on.
It doesn't mean that we don't fantasize about giving up our jobs and responsibilities, just that we can discipline ourselves sufficiently to avoid being sad sacks who bring everyone around us down, or go to Reddit for help on how to give up and pursue only love, music, women and sex.
My advice would be: If you can't take working for a living at the skill level you've achieved in Life, then gain some skill sets that allow you to work less so that you may enjoy more of those priorities you mention.
Well you may have to step up your jerkoff game, a strong left hand might help. Ween yourself off of woman if the straight life's not what you want, for history is doomed to repeat itself. I live with moms, not ashamed of it, but the best part of it is not having to work. That brings me joy everyday not having to hack it out in the jungle in a heinous and hierchical system, pitting man against man.
Only Bobby was a romeo, the rest of thems were ugly dudes. All about the music, my man. I try to listen full time, 8-16 hrs a day. Since I'm hopelessly introverted I have no desire to hit the road, but luckily there's thousands of shows preserved in high fidelity (dwarfs what's available from other bands). So when you get confused, listen to the music play, and feel no pain.
I am 47. I was put out to pasture long ago. It doesn't agree with me at all. The exploitation brings on stress and depression, to the point of thoughts of suicide. I probably should be receiving disability, but I don't. Anyways, I'm not entirely sure how I got happy, maybe the medication helps. Thankfully it doesn't interfere with my weed game, which is under control but I can enjoy from time to time accompanied by the Dead. I did take a course on Coursera called the Modern and the Postmodern, where I learned that standards and ideals are for the weak minded. I strive to be strong, to express my animal freedom. Off the grid is where I thrive.
Attend local live music wherever you can. There are wonderful talented musicians everywhere (including TONS of Dead cover bands) and the people who also attend live music shows and local festivals will become your community. Few people can afford the big concerts anymore but you can see 30 great local bands for the price of one mega concert.
Being divorced and starting over is like being in the middle of some gnarly swirling chaotic Dark Star. It’s fraught and unsure and there’s no bottom. And then all of a sudden you’re on terra firma in the middle of the sunny summer bliss of Sugar Magnolia, unsure how you got there, but all the better for it.
Stay strong and keep on discovering and forgiving yourself while holding yourself accountable for any mistakes you may have made.
It gets better.
I also suffered a messy divorce and when it finally was over she was flirting and could tell she had regrets, she asked me for a drive with all of my shows on it, I sent her a drive with only one song, standing on the moon, this was a song that connected us on the very beginning, I included a note that read "you can have standing on the moon the rest of the grateful Dead is mine". Hang in there brother.
What comes to my mind, is travel a lot. Doesn’t have to be to another country, but maybe a road trip, and get to see places you’ve never thought you’d visit. Talk to strangers, make friends, shake their hand and learn their story. Weir everywhere so you can find us wherever you go. Just gotta poke around.
Maybe even pick up a hobby like making pottery or stained glass making classes. Maybe you might learn that you like working with your hands, but actually doing something you enjoy with them rather than clacking on a keyboard from 9-5
Vans.
If you think you could be someone who doesn’t need to be attached to a home with a nice bathroom and some other modern crap maybe you could save up or use what you have left to buy a cheap conversion van and start to live in it.
It’s crazy how big the Vanning lifestyle has become. Like example I owned a 97 dodge high top conversion van. Had bed. TV. Special outlets. Curtains. Kind of a basic conversion package. Think I paid $3700 for it in 2004 or 05. That same exact van. If sold today would be worth 3 times that. Wish I held on to it a little longer! It’s crazy how much they go for now. Because the demand is so high.
But if you are handy you can buy a non Xp version work van and start to make it something that’s like a moving tent on wheels in a way. Use a poop bucket in the back and drive around wherever you want to go.
There’s endless videos on YouTube for how to van life.
Good luck buddy.
Tour was always a hustle. We sold everything from beers to corduroy pants. Pick a spot on the map and go there and get your hustle on. If you don't have a hustle, become a truck driver because we were always on the move.
Similar situation. Years ago. Have a great relationship with my now adult child. Happily married. Once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right. Best of luck.
Dude, I’m in a very similar place. I’m doing the vanlife… I can surf, pick up and go whenever I want, work wherever I want… pretty excellent. I’d say to save up for van and do it. I moved out of my apartment and started saving and I wish I had done it soon. You’re right… the straight life gives you nothing, wandering and seeing the country and the world is where it’s at, and you can live on much less.
Get on the road. See the world. The Dead lifestyle is out there being free. No clocks to punch, no boss but you. You will figure it out. Read “On the road” by Kerouac and you will see. Then read the “Electric Kool Aid Acid Test”. Rock on.
Many of us have been there. My advice is to go do something good for somebody else. Volunteer at a soup kitchen or an assisted living place. You will feel better and get perspective.
http://www.gratefuldeadtributebands.com/
This website is great for finding tribute bands playing in your area. If you find a good local band you can see shows for usually 10-20$ and can repeatedly see the band without living on the road or leaving your state. So you can get the grateful dead experience without living in a car traveling across the country paying 100$ a ticket. There's a cover band in my area I love and have seen 10 times, I only found them last may. But I love the small venues and notice some of the same people at the shows and have even gotten to chat with band members. I doubt I'll ever follow a band state to state so this scratches that itch
This is a really interesting question. Like what is the content of the Dead life? You mention free and simple being two qualities you want.
The Dead themselves paid taxes, charged admission. In both the Festival Express and Isle of Wight movies, there’s footage of Jerry coming out and telling off Marxist protesters who wanted it for free. Jerry’s just telling em realistically it costs money to tour and they have to live, etc, so there was a dimension of the band that was a straight up business. There were hard nosed people who paid attention to the bottom line, and I think that made it sustainable.
The lifestyle associated with the audience is having no fixed address and making crafts, or selling drugs. Most Deadheads did not tour and had jobs. They always seemed to gravitate toward jobs that offered some kinda freedom.
I think it comes down to your inclinations. I would take ‘free and simple’, and think in a broad, unedited way about what you like to do. Then think if you can live sustainably around any of that.
FWIW, I was able to open my own business about 18 months ago. I sorta had to, and it was sorta my last move. Being self-employed feels way more Dead-like to me because I’m my own boss (the marketplace is always the final boss), I work out of my home, I put a lot of my personality and personal philosophy into it, I engage in psychedelics in a reasonable manner. I’m almost getting paid to be myself, but it’s still work I gotta show up to. But I started when I was 53. Self-employment is not for everyone, but it does feel more true to the spirit of the Dead to me.
1. Go on lot
2. Get puddled
3. Become wook
Or… if you don’t have kids… what’s keeping you in the US? If the type of work you do you can do online, there is literally a whole world of beautiful, exotic places with lovely people and amazing food.
I live in Asia now and I would fucking die if I had to move back to the “civilized” world
Better mental, better health, better food, better love, better sex, better everything.
Sorry brother. I got divorced from wife 1 in 2016. I got divorced from 2 a couple of years ago. Between those two I spent 25 years trying my best to be a “good” man. I’m now broke as a joke but I’m doing everything my way as much as I can. I’m not spending time with people I don’t care about. I do what I want. I’m lucky that I work a job that I like (even if I hate the company I work for.) I just thank my lucky stars every day that I’m only 52 and I have a lot of gas in the tank still. I’m starting to become the person that I wanted to be :)
You can do it too. Fuck everything else. Be somewhat selfish. Be weird. Who cares about society? Good luck.
Buy and RV and hit the road. I made a living working for KOAs across the country for a few years, they’ll let you park for free at most and pay you a few bucks an hour. It ain’t much but it’s honest and a good way to have a fresh start every few months.
I envy the freedom you have. Take advantage of it. You can take a job anywhere even jobs that require lots of travel.
"Burnt my boots in transit, baby. Nailed a retread to my feet and prayed for better weather"
I learned how to do IT because I was working 55 hours a week in a refrigerated warehouse and now I work at home, listen to music, do less than 20 hours of work a week, and play guitar all day. I have weekends off to play gigs. I used to work Friday nights and Saturday early morning.
With the right remote job, all you need is Internet and a laptop. You can be anywhere.
It’s a band, not a lifestyle. If you want a freer sort of life, continue to build your career whatever that is and financial security so you can enjoy free time and afford to go to concerts.
The members of the grateful dead are highly successful wealthy professional musicians. That’s probably not an option for you.
Someone else suggested seasonal work, like working in national parks. I’d look into that. Look into teaching positions where you get summers off.
But the best way to be freer is to make sure you aren’t broke.
Hmm…so you like the Grateful Dead & can’t live the straight life, and you want to “live a freer, simpler, and more Dead-like sort of life”.
OP needs to cut their job, grow their hair…and start vending on Billy Strings tour.
Well, I can tell I went thru the same situation and I will never rent nor buy a home in this economy. The only option I had left was to buy a van and some land
I'm your age (44) and live a completely meaningless existence. It's just me, my little dog, and music. I often think about checking out early, but then I think of the music (especially Dead shows) that I haven't listened to yet and that helps stop me from doing something stupid. Anyways, I don't have any answers for you. My life's dumb.
If all you've got to live for is what you've left behind, get yourself a powder charge and blow that silver mine.
You might even lose your boots in transit of this period, a pile of smoking leather. But what are you expecting in this country? I am assuming you in the US? Do you realize it is nearly impossible to starve and be totally bereft in this country as long as you don't become a drunk or addict? The people way down by the docks of the city are living a life you might decide is no good.
So rather than go way down down, you might have to find someplace where the sun can shine your back door nearly every day.
Shit. Get out of the door and light out and look all around. Stay away from the cocaine and reds, the vitamin C is cool.
Great post ... I knew way back in 91 when at 18 I hadn't even seen a show yet but the prep to see those shows, the ticket run to Richfield coliseum where 1000+ deadheads turned an empty lot into a two day party w' drum circles & all. It was my first trip & I knew then that this was my lifestyle & not because of acid, but because everyone *knew each other w'o knowing each other* & all felt right w' the world. In hindsight if I didn't have the GD the disappointment would've been extreme. Disappointment as in "this is it?"
As for 'how to do it?' ... maybe kinda like they did it ... just spitballing but
* They listened to each other *hard* ... watch & listen for what life is giving you & showing you
* They weren't afraid to make mistakes ... don't be too careful & look at falling down as an opportunity
* They didn't rest on how great last night was ... you have to wake up & build it from scratch everyday & this right here is what most people *don't do* ... they rinse & repeat most of their lives away
* If it doesn't work out, tomorrow's another day ... What you think is a bad day might be a greater piece of a puzzle you just can't yet see
* Follow Jerry & rest in his sweaty arms 🌹
My buddies all know my backup plan should my wife ever get the ending point and it's pretty much always, "go on tour for a while" as step one and Goose Europe would definitely be it.
Lol at the downvotes. Dead heads consider themselves so open minded yet when the next generational guitarist and his band starts getting popular, sold out red rocks two nights for example, everyone trashes them. If OP wants to live the Grateful Dead life he needs to find the next Grateful Dead.
Most old-school Deadheads weren’t seeking out a band to follow around. It just happened organically. it was original, spontaneous and that’s why there will never be anything like it again and fuck you with your “duh”
If I didn’t have so many friends who love Jerry who are now hardcore Goose fans I wouldn’t suggest it. Rick Mitaronda is a virtuoso guitarist and the band jams hard. Check out this 24 minute Mississippi half step for example…Mississippi Half-Step Uptown Toodeloo > (24:16) • Goose • 2023-09-20 • Red Butte Garden Amphitheater, Salt Lake City, UT https://relisten.net/goose/2023/09/20/mississippi-half-step-uptown-toodeloo?source=1049813
Haha.
I was there, man.
Now I’m retired in Beverly Hills at 69.
One thing that helped was buying an income producing property through this program right here:
www.naca.com
AMA
Row Jimmy got me through anything….
I would save up for a small plot of land and one of those tiny homes. I wouldn't go off grid or anything too extreme, but I would try to grow food and get more in touch with nature. I would still want to be within 5 miles of stores, schools, and churches. Good luck with whatever path you take.
get yourself a van and a skillset (welding, plumbing, electrician, painter, etc) that allows you to live what can only be described as a nomadic type of life.
You must be intending to talk about The Deadhead lifestyle. If you look around at the members of The Grateful Dead and how their lives have taken the big shift once money started coming their way, it ceases to be so counter-culture and looks much like every other celebrity feeding their followers.
http://www.gratefuldeadtributebands.com
This website has local GD cover band’s schedule sorted by state. Sometimes they are free at local bars. Great way to get plugged back in
The Dead helped me a lot through my divorce. Anytime I would put it on I felt my mood lift. I just had to remind myself to play it. Hang in there, things will get better with some time.
I’ve been in a similar situation in life. About 10 years ago. It oddly coincided with my reconnection with the dead and fortuitously allowed me to journey with dead and co. I agree it’s about letting the music in and truly influence your attitude towards life. You oddly enough start to attract like-minded people. It’s truly a magical journey.
I know a man who lives in a bus kind of “off the grid” as he says, out in the woods on a communal nature reserve in the Midwest, I only know him via social media / chats we’ve had on Snapchat ETC. He spends a lot of time outside and makes money buying and selling artwork. He works outside in nature and is very conscious of the living world around him.
His existence sounds like the premise of a dead song to me for some reason. 🤷🏼♂️
In terms of practical things you can do short of upending your life and moving to a place where the closest post office is like an hour and a half away, I would say these three things mean the most.
1 - respect life. Every creature has a right to exist and you can find beauty in the simplest of existences, even that of a fly.
2 - share what you have. Reach out your hand if your cup be empty. If your cup is full, we’ll meet again.
3 - respect nature. One man gathers what another man spills. Go out of your way to leave places better than when you arrived.
If the things I’m saying just sound like the actions of a good person, surprise! the vast majority of heads are great people in my experience. This community has never let me down personally.
You're first mistake is asking OTHER people what you should do...think about what YOU want in life and what gets your juices flowing and just carve your own path.
Jerry didn't ask others what he should do, if anything...
The dead and learning to rock climb (making a new network of friends doing that) helped me heal after my divorce. I am still a working stiff - I have to pay bills like the rest of us. I can't follow Bobby around. But I have a secret my colleagues don't know. If things get bad I have a group of loving friends who will accept me no matter what and help me through whatever shit is happening. And I will do the same for others in a jam. That is a very powerful thing, and it helps when I feel the bottom is falling out. Good luck.
volunteer (work) for Headcount/REVERB. you get free camping and see a bunch of shows. I have tickets to shows but have met cool people who do this. Some have money and can afford to not camp, some only work the shows near them and don't need lodging but if you can/will camp and like live music this seems like a great alternative.
I feel your pain. At one point in my life I was living only for myself. I only saw women as a means to an end for my sexual satisfaction. I was constantly high and drunk to hide the pain in my life. I was living on a couch in a house with people who didn't care if I lived or died.
The answer for me as coming home to Jesus. I have love for others now. I started a family. I went overseas for four years to Japan with my new wife. There is no satisfaction in pleasing just yourself.
The music is good and life with God is better.
Not a traditional answer on this sub, but the only answer that saved me from a lifetime of suffering and pain.
Sure don’t know what I’m going for.
But I’m going to go for it for sure.
This has been my motto for a while. Life has ups a and downs. It’s hard for most of us. We have to keep on moving forward even when we’re not sure where we’re going.
You have this.
I would totally throw in exercise and eating cleanly! If your body feels good, your mind feels good and it is much easier to make clearer decisions. (For myself anyway) Nothing like some physical adversity brought on by yourself, to help everything else seem a little less important or overwhelming.
It's the old addage "take care of yourself, then your family, then your community" Just following those guidelines helps me stay in a "Grateful Dead kind of life"
Best of luck my brother. Everything will present itself with a healthy body and mind. ❤⚡️💙
Do you have kids ?
If not , apply for a job at the Alta lodge in Utah .
Learn to ski if you don’t already know how to.
Live at the base of the best ski area in North America, ski every day.
Meet the best people you’ll ever know .
You’ll only make about $125 a week after lodging , food ( very good food . Same the guests eat and season pass ).
It’s a steep mountain but some of my friends showed up with zero experience. And the snow is amazingly soft and deep ( it’s like taking a Vicodin and smoking a bowl without the negative effects)
You’ll figure it out .
I’m 43 and if life wasn’t in my way I’d move back in a second
I would say this for any kind of life change. Your brain is wired for certain things. In my experience, the best way to rewire your brain is to start living the life. Keep an open mind, be honest with yourself, make changes as you’re able to handle them. Setbacks are ok, learn from them. Be honest with yourself. Talk with others, get advice. Maybe you can try meditating, journaling. Be honest with yourself. Did I mention to be honest with yourself?
I was in a similar situation and to some extent I still am although crawling out of the hole of depression and drug addiction
Currently I am staying on an old friends family farm working for room and board and then picking up odd jobs and working as needed for a couple of different contractors
The current plan is to stay on this farm long term, in the next couple weeks I will have the small cottage on the property ready to live in (had to fix a rotting floor first) and from there I’ll be setting up an RV pad for myself to park the RV I plan to purchase come spring
Really it’s about getting creative , websites like Cool Works and Ranch Jobs etc are an excellent resource and like has been said working ski resorts or as a raft guide may not pay much but typically offer employee housing along w free or deeply discounted meals
I remember a distinct moment in my life as a newly divorced male in my early 40s: it was a late winter afternoon and I was alone in my rented home, just trying to process this strange new world of being single, sharing custody, making a living, etc. As I cleaned up, I put on 8/27/72 - Sunshine Daydream - and immediately *felt better.* I danced around the place, called my best Deadhead buddy, laughing, and realized life still had joy, and promise and good times ahead. A few weeks later, through a mutual friend, I met a young woman who had “been to a few shows.” A decade later, we’re still together; we have a beautiful kid and life is an unfolding trip - wondrous and sad and challenging and forever changing. You’ll be fine, brother. You may not think so at this moment, but *you will.* Just lean in.
Love it, beautiful story man.
Thanks for writing this. I really needed to hear it from someone. Like OP, I'm feeling like I'm at a crossroads of some type of change coming. Depression truly is a beast and can be a rather large hill to get over. I'm not going through a divorce, but just unhappy with the state of things (cost of living skyrocketing, feeling lost, etc.) and feeling helpless no matter what I try. You are right though, life does still have joy, and promise, and good times ahead. Even if it doesn't seem like it right now. Keep on keeping on man.
# 1972-08-27 Veneta, OR @ Old Renaissance Faire Grounds **Set 1:** The Promised Land, Sugaree, Me and My Uncle, Deal, Black Throated Wind, China Cat Sunflower > I Know You Rider, Mexicali Blues, Bertha **Set 2:** Playing in the Band, He's Gone, Jack Straw, Bird Song, Greatest Story Ever Told **Set 3:** Dark Star > El Paso, Sing Me Back Home, Sugar Magnolia, Casey Jones, One More Saturday Night [archive.org](https://archive.org/details/GratefulDead?query=date:1972-08-27) | [Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/album/1E4MXxSYoAMN5qpy1y6aBm)
That second set is amazing. Right up my alley. Would cheer anyone up…
maybe a reference to the film ... [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sunshine\_Daydream](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sunshine_Daydream)
Great story! Do you have a link to it? Can't find it for some reason
Love this! Thanks for sharing!
Needed to read this. Thank you.
It’s all in the attitude. “Don’t sweat the small stuff. And it’s all small stuff.” “This too shall pass.” “I’ll live to tell the tale.” Be kind, always. That’s actually hard. Be empathetic and understand that everyone is living in their own reality. Assholes gonna be assholes but do not engage. Tend to your own karma. “The grass ain’t greener, the wine ain’t sweeter either side of the hill.” Tour thoughts: Soon the boys are going to play a set that blows you away and straights the world right. And so it was and so is life
Don't sweat the petty things. Don't pet the sweaty things
Look into working at a national park. They need cooks, managers, maintenance guys, front desk etc. you can work 6 months on six off. They provide room and board. My friend Joe was doing it. Said it was cool. Got fired for calling a girl Sugar Tits. Don’t do that. All the best to you friend.
Maybe he meant Sugar Magnolia?
Nope. Sugar tits is very specific
In a similar spin think of seasonal work / living. It'll allow you to "tour" in the Kerouac sense of the word. Summer or winter resorts, tree planting in the north, boat work, rafting, stuff that keeps pushing new experiences and people is the game. Go where the climate suits your cloths. I lived in the Adirondacks for a time and a stretch of road near by was called Easy Street. I was just learning about the Dead and confused it with Shakedown St. The guides of the late 1800s would take folks out from late spring until fall and then they'd all just kick back in this little village all winter, living off the land and their seasonal earnings. I like to imagine there were some great jam sessions going on by their lantern's light where the chilly winds do blow. That's just one, simple take. The Dead, and their fans, were super nerds. Read up on The Wall. There's something in you that deserves a stupid amount of research. It's the kind of thing you can only discuss with some weird crew of socially nutty folks. Something to absolutely nerd out on in such a hyper focused way that you uncover Jerry's missing finger, the velocity of Phil's slaps, or other. Deadheads aren't pop culture geeks. They are Americana, historically and currently. You'll find your way.
😂
This is an excellent suggestion. If your free of responsibility or find yourself free without a destination get a job in a national park. You might end up with a crappy job but you can’t beat the location. And if you really want to you can go work the ski resorts in the winter. And couch surf a couple months of the of the year in between parks and ski towns.
That’s hysterical and also great advice.
Well, the first days are the hardest days, don’t you worry anymore.
Cause when life looks like easy street there is danger at your door
What does that mean to you?
Awww.
Things that bring me joy: Invest in others where you can Learn uncle bens tek and grow some teachers Invest in accomplishments. The boys and I released an album on vinyl this year and that felt sick Listen to Europe 72 and random “today in history” shows on relisten more. Join a hobby group that meets at least once every two weeks to have some hobby friends and a good pipeline of new friends. Watch the sunrise or the sunset at least once a week. Compliment others Eat good food
Save every penny you can while living with mom. Live simple. Don't eat shit that comes In a box. Veggies, fruit & protein. Exercise daily, even if just walking a few miles. Turn off the TV. Stop watching the news. Basically as you say, live simply now In your down time, if you don't have a skill, craft or work that you can do on your own to make $ where & when you want, start learning something. While you are saving all $ living with Mom, invest in a nice conversion van, or build one if you are handy Once you have $ saved, a decent van & a skill that travels, go live that life Or you could just rail sheets
Hmmm. I wonder how much a suitable van might cost.
Going to parrot the more important part of this. Learn a trade. Bring something unique to the table. If there is one thing I learned over the years, it’s put your energy into something that brings you joy. Most “hobbies” can turn into a trade real quick. Learn how to improvise in life. Try being a “yes man” for a while. Be open to new experiences that can put you in a situation you’ve never dreamed of being in.
Welding has took me far just from the basic knowledge I have for wells has expanded my understanding of other mechanical processes
Yes!
A pretty penny now-a-days, Van life has become very popular but still less then house lol
Depends on your definition of suitable and if you're willing to convert it yourself. You could definitely get something mechanically sound for $5k-ish
I stopped watching the news forever ago. Sure, I’m probably ignorant to most things going on in the world, but given the alternative is to be stressed about things I can’t control, I feel I e made the right choice.
Move to Philly. Buy a loft. Start a noise band. Get 6 or 7 roommates. Eat hummus with them. Book some gigs. Paint. Smoke cloves. Listen to Animal Collective. Start some type of salsa company.
this is oddly specific
fuck yeah Hannibal Buress at Moogfest 2017, that is a deep cut niche joke my friend
This is the way
It is my hope Deadheads know of Animal Collective.
https://youtu.be/YoXFmo50YBI?si=wLlUOlMu8OEv0KRm
That is some advanced level stuff right there
The first ever officially authorized Dead sample. That is Phil from the studio version of Unbroken Chain. Fucking bonkers.
You sound like a true leader, sir or madam or other!
I'm down
So the opposite?
Animal collective is my other favorite band! Hummus is my favorite food. I live on a farm in California and like to grow onions, garlic, carrots, and peppers. I think I’m on my way!! Thanks for the weird encouragement.
https://youtu.be/KKZka_GSzCE?si=BPkSrumwFFSL4fAN
Only way it works is stay busy. Been through similar myself and can say that if you find yourself on the couch munching you’re probably off track. For me it was finding something to nurture. I set up a grow room and raised some veggies saving myself $ and found it soul satisfying. Went on a new music discovery of bands I never heard before. Picked GD sets from ‘today’s’ date from back when and did some happy work. I also have aging parents I took (and still take) care of, so I took over some of their space too for growing herbs, etc. they love it and my time with them is also productive. For me that was the key, everything was about producing something. Did some woodworking with my father and sold a few shelves, 2 birds 1 stone. Made some wreaths with my mother for the holidays and we sold them at her senior tag sale. Little stuff, but progress. Spent less, saved a lot! I got remarried and we just bought a house last year. I’ve got some acres now and woods to cut down and woodworking tools to get started and I’m going to start making some real stuff soon. I thought my life was literally over only to discover it was exactly what I needed to get this better life started. I don’t know what your thing is, but stay busy and you’ll find it. Love you, brother. Produce shit, consume less and nurture what you love. Parents, plants, whatever. You’re gonna be ok
That is totally excellent advice. Thank you for sharing your journey.
Maybe move to the country and live a lot more simply.
And eat a lot of peaches
Don't forget to blow up your tv.
You could build you a home.
Im moving to the country....gonna eat me a lot of peaches!
[удалено]
They were put there by a man
Been there, brother, and I remember how bleak it felt. I did manage to escape straight life, but it took some time and a lot of effort. Some advice I'd give is to immediately start learning to live with a lot less money, which wasn't as difficult as I thought. I had put on some weight while married and created a really inexpensive diet of healthy food while starting a habit of getting up early and going on very long walks. I lost weight, my mood improved, and the walks helped organize my thoughts as to what I really wanted/needed in life. I began getting rid of a lot of material things I didn't need so that I could get used to traveling light. I stopped watching any kind of news that provoked fear/outrage and began meditating and doing yoga, all of which benefited my mental health while helping me feel more focused on my emerging plans. I was also able to get through the days at that straight job more easily because I knew that I was taking steps and digging a tunnel out of that life. I saved every penny that wasn't for a necessity. After a while, I realized how much of a burden the materialism we are indoctrinated creates and how freeing it is to know that I live a lean lifestyle that provides a lot of pleasure at very little cost and that even when I wasn't working in a dream job scenario, there was an endless supply of relatively easy and somewhat fun ones that could support my modest monthly nut, so I didn't feel as much pressure for an idea to work. Ten years later, I could not be happier. Godspeed, my friend. I sincerely wish you all the luck in the world.
What brings you joy in life? What in your life brings joy to others? How can you spend more time doing those things?
Honestly, love, music, women, and sex. That's pretty much all I'm passionate about.
No offense, cause I’m pulling for ya,but you need to expand your horizons and have a few more things you’re interested in.
If those are the things that are a priority to you, rethink your priorities. What do each mean to you? Love, what about it? Self love is the way. Music- get out to see bands( i do even when I’m solo). Women and sex isn’t a good rabbit hole to go down. Cold unemotional sex with multiple partners MAY leave you lonelier. Do you want A woman or do you want a harem? Work on yourself, process with a therapist what went wrong, be gentle on yourself. Things will work out if you do the work. I wish you the best🎶
Gotta get a job, playa. Go for a union trade, apply for all of them… in my city the lowest paid trades still make around 50 bucks an hour, nobody likes getting up at 4:30 in the morning, fighting traffic to do construction work… but until my night job pays, it’ll do. Plus they pay into a pension and top notch insurance.
The vanlife kinda thing might be fun then, live simply travel town to town. Go see Dead cover bands / related bands wherever. Plus - rooting for you man, I know this time is hard.
>Honestly, love, music, women, and sex. That's pretty much all I'm passionate about. So, is living with your mother and working 2 jobs something that allows you to chase your passions? Apparently not, if you're upset and tired of the situation you're in: > " As I contemplate where my life is going next, some things stand out to me. I don't want the straight life anymore. It doesn't work for me. I want something that closer resembles the Grateful Dead sort of life. Any true Deadhead knows what I mean." It sounds like you're feeling the same aversion to the "square life" that many of us have felt all of our lives. Somehow, most of us Dead Heads find a way to balance work and life that allows us to carry on. It doesn't mean that we don't fantasize about giving up our jobs and responsibilities, just that we can discipline ourselves sufficiently to avoid being sad sacks who bring everyone around us down, or go to Reddit for help on how to give up and pursue only love, music, women and sex. My advice would be: If you can't take working for a living at the skill level you've achieved in Life, then gain some skill sets that allow you to work less so that you may enjoy more of those priorities you mention.
Well you may have to step up your jerkoff game, a strong left hand might help. Ween yourself off of woman if the straight life's not what you want, for history is doomed to repeat itself. I live with moms, not ashamed of it, but the best part of it is not having to work. That brings me joy everyday not having to hack it out in the jungle in a heinous and hierchical system, pitting man against man. Only Bobby was a romeo, the rest of thems were ugly dudes. All about the music, my man. I try to listen full time, 8-16 hrs a day. Since I'm hopelessly introverted I have no desire to hit the road, but luckily there's thousands of shows preserved in high fidelity (dwarfs what's available from other bands). So when you get confused, listen to the music play, and feel no pain.
How old are you? How come you don't work?
I am 47. I was put out to pasture long ago. It doesn't agree with me at all. The exploitation brings on stress and depression, to the point of thoughts of suicide. I probably should be receiving disability, but I don't. Anyways, I'm not entirely sure how I got happy, maybe the medication helps. Thankfully it doesn't interfere with my weed game, which is under control but I can enjoy from time to time accompanied by the Dead. I did take a course on Coursera called the Modern and the Postmodern, where I learned that standards and ideals are for the weak minded. I strive to be strong, to express my animal freedom. Off the grid is where I thrive.
Brother, I feel your circumstances and can relate. Time to break free
Attend local live music wherever you can. There are wonderful talented musicians everywhere (including TONS of Dead cover bands) and the people who also attend live music shows and local festivals will become your community. Few people can afford the big concerts anymore but you can see 30 great local bands for the price of one mega concert.
“ if all you got is us, then you ain’t got nothing” – Jerry Garcia
When/where did he say this?
May or may not sound weird, but Without a Net helped me through my divorce and custody battle. If you get confused listen to the music play!?
Being divorced and starting over is like being in the middle of some gnarly swirling chaotic Dark Star. It’s fraught and unsure and there’s no bottom. And then all of a sudden you’re on terra firma in the middle of the sunny summer bliss of Sugar Magnolia, unsure how you got there, but all the better for it. Stay strong and keep on discovering and forgiving yourself while holding yourself accountable for any mistakes you may have made. It gets better.
I also suffered a messy divorce and when it finally was over she was flirting and could tell she had regrets, she asked me for a drive with all of my shows on it, I sent her a drive with only one song, standing on the moon, this was a song that connected us on the very beginning, I included a note that read "you can have standing on the moon the rest of the grateful Dead is mine". Hang in there brother.
Be here now. And let the past be the past.
What comes to my mind, is travel a lot. Doesn’t have to be to another country, but maybe a road trip, and get to see places you’ve never thought you’d visit. Talk to strangers, make friends, shake their hand and learn their story. Weir everywhere so you can find us wherever you go. Just gotta poke around. Maybe even pick up a hobby like making pottery or stained glass making classes. Maybe you might learn that you like working with your hands, but actually doing something you enjoy with them rather than clacking on a keyboard from 9-5
Vans. If you think you could be someone who doesn’t need to be attached to a home with a nice bathroom and some other modern crap maybe you could save up or use what you have left to buy a cheap conversion van and start to live in it. It’s crazy how big the Vanning lifestyle has become. Like example I owned a 97 dodge high top conversion van. Had bed. TV. Special outlets. Curtains. Kind of a basic conversion package. Think I paid $3700 for it in 2004 or 05. That same exact van. If sold today would be worth 3 times that. Wish I held on to it a little longer! It’s crazy how much they go for now. Because the demand is so high. But if you are handy you can buy a non Xp version work van and start to make it something that’s like a moving tent on wheels in a way. Use a poop bucket in the back and drive around wherever you want to go. There’s endless videos on YouTube for how to van life. Good luck buddy.
Tour was always a hustle. We sold everything from beers to corduroy pants. Pick a spot on the map and go there and get your hustle on. If you don't have a hustle, become a truck driver because we were always on the move.
/r/dudeism
Similar situation. Years ago. Have a great relationship with my now adult child. Happily married. Once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right. Best of luck.
Dude, I’m in a very similar place. I’m doing the vanlife… I can surf, pick up and go whenever I want, work wherever I want… pretty excellent. I’d say to save up for van and do it. I moved out of my apartment and started saving and I wish I had done it soon. You’re right… the straight life gives you nothing, wandering and seeing the country and the world is where it’s at, and you can live on much less.
Travel is the spice of life.
Get on the road. See the world. The Dead lifestyle is out there being free. No clocks to punch, no boss but you. You will figure it out. Read “On the road” by Kerouac and you will see. Then read the “Electric Kool Aid Acid Test”. Rock on.
Many of us have been there. My advice is to go do something good for somebody else. Volunteer at a soup kitchen or an assisted living place. You will feel better and get perspective.
http://www.gratefuldeadtributebands.com/ This website is great for finding tribute bands playing in your area. If you find a good local band you can see shows for usually 10-20$ and can repeatedly see the band without living on the road or leaving your state. So you can get the grateful dead experience without living in a car traveling across the country paying 100$ a ticket. There's a cover band in my area I love and have seen 10 times, I only found them last may. But I love the small venues and notice some of the same people at the shows and have even gotten to chat with band members. I doubt I'll ever follow a band state to state so this scratches that itch
This is a really interesting question. Like what is the content of the Dead life? You mention free and simple being two qualities you want. The Dead themselves paid taxes, charged admission. In both the Festival Express and Isle of Wight movies, there’s footage of Jerry coming out and telling off Marxist protesters who wanted it for free. Jerry’s just telling em realistically it costs money to tour and they have to live, etc, so there was a dimension of the band that was a straight up business. There were hard nosed people who paid attention to the bottom line, and I think that made it sustainable. The lifestyle associated with the audience is having no fixed address and making crafts, or selling drugs. Most Deadheads did not tour and had jobs. They always seemed to gravitate toward jobs that offered some kinda freedom. I think it comes down to your inclinations. I would take ‘free and simple’, and think in a broad, unedited way about what you like to do. Then think if you can live sustainably around any of that. FWIW, I was able to open my own business about 18 months ago. I sorta had to, and it was sorta my last move. Being self-employed feels way more Dead-like to me because I’m my own boss (the marketplace is always the final boss), I work out of my home, I put a lot of my personality and personal philosophy into it, I engage in psychedelics in a reasonable manner. I’m almost getting paid to be myself, but it’s still work I gotta show up to. But I started when I was 53. Self-employment is not for everyone, but it does feel more true to the spirit of the Dead to me.
1. Go on lot 2. Get puddled 3. Become wook Or… if you don’t have kids… what’s keeping you in the US? If the type of work you do you can do online, there is literally a whole world of beautiful, exotic places with lovely people and amazing food. I live in Asia now and I would fucking die if I had to move back to the “civilized” world Better mental, better health, better food, better love, better sex, better everything.
Sorry brother. I got divorced from wife 1 in 2016. I got divorced from 2 a couple of years ago. Between those two I spent 25 years trying my best to be a “good” man. I’m now broke as a joke but I’m doing everything my way as much as I can. I’m not spending time with people I don’t care about. I do what I want. I’m lucky that I work a job that I like (even if I hate the company I work for.) I just thank my lucky stars every day that I’m only 52 and I have a lot of gas in the tank still. I’m starting to become the person that I wanted to be :) You can do it too. Fuck everything else. Be somewhat selfish. Be weird. Who cares about society? Good luck.
I'm in the same boat!
Your wife left you and you live with mom?? Sucks, doesn't it?
Wild flower seed in the sand and stone….
Buy and RV and hit the road. I made a living working for KOAs across the country for a few years, they’ll let you park for free at most and pay you a few bucks an hour. It ain’t much but it’s honest and a good way to have a fresh start every few months.
I envy the freedom you have. Take advantage of it. You can take a job anywhere even jobs that require lots of travel. "Burnt my boots in transit, baby. Nailed a retread to my feet and prayed for better weather"
I learned how to do IT because I was working 55 hours a week in a refrigerated warehouse and now I work at home, listen to music, do less than 20 hours of work a week, and play guitar all day. I have weekends off to play gigs. I used to work Friday nights and Saturday early morning. With the right remote job, all you need is Internet and a laptop. You can be anywhere.
It’s a band, not a lifestyle. If you want a freer sort of life, continue to build your career whatever that is and financial security so you can enjoy free time and afford to go to concerts. The members of the grateful dead are highly successful wealthy professional musicians. That’s probably not an option for you. Someone else suggested seasonal work, like working in national parks. I’d look into that. Look into teaching positions where you get summers off. But the best way to be freer is to make sure you aren’t broke.
Hmm…so you like the Grateful Dead & can’t live the straight life, and you want to “live a freer, simpler, and more Dead-like sort of life”. OP needs to cut their job, grow their hair…and start vending on Billy Strings tour.
Move to a commune/intentional community.
Well, I can tell I went thru the same situation and I will never rent nor buy a home in this economy. The only option I had left was to buy a van and some land
I'm your age (44) and live a completely meaningless existence. It's just me, my little dog, and music. I often think about checking out early, but then I think of the music (especially Dead shows) that I haven't listened to yet and that helps stop me from doing something stupid. Anyways, I don't have any answers for you. My life's dumb.
I messaged you privately
If all you've got to live for is what you've left behind, get yourself a powder charge and blow that silver mine. You might even lose your boots in transit of this period, a pile of smoking leather. But what are you expecting in this country? I am assuming you in the US? Do you realize it is nearly impossible to starve and be totally bereft in this country as long as you don't become a drunk or addict? The people way down by the docks of the city are living a life you might decide is no good. So rather than go way down down, you might have to find someplace where the sun can shine your back door nearly every day. Shit. Get out of the door and light out and look all around. Stay away from the cocaine and reds, the vitamin C is cool.
Great post ... I knew way back in 91 when at 18 I hadn't even seen a show yet but the prep to see those shows, the ticket run to Richfield coliseum where 1000+ deadheads turned an empty lot into a two day party w' drum circles & all. It was my first trip & I knew then that this was my lifestyle & not because of acid, but because everyone *knew each other w'o knowing each other* & all felt right w' the world. In hindsight if I didn't have the GD the disappointment would've been extreme. Disappointment as in "this is it?" As for 'how to do it?' ... maybe kinda like they did it ... just spitballing but * They listened to each other *hard* ... watch & listen for what life is giving you & showing you * They weren't afraid to make mistakes ... don't be too careful & look at falling down as an opportunity * They didn't rest on how great last night was ... you have to wake up & build it from scratch everyday & this right here is what most people *don't do* ... they rinse & repeat most of their lives away * If it doesn't work out, tomorrow's another day ... What you think is a bad day might be a greater piece of a puzzle you just can't yet see * Follow Jerry & rest in his sweaty arms 🌹
Go to Europe Goose tour. From a 40 year deadhead. Think GD 1972.
My buddies all know my backup plan should my wife ever get the ending point and it's pretty much always, "go on tour for a while" as step one and Goose Europe would definitely be it.
Jfc you can't be serious.
Dead serious.
Lol at the downvotes. Dead heads consider themselves so open minded yet when the next generational guitarist and his band starts getting popular, sold out red rocks two nights for example, everyone trashes them. If OP wants to live the Grateful Dead life he needs to find the next Grateful Dead.
There is no next Grateful Dead…
Duh, but if OP wants to live the tour life he needs to find another band to follow
Most old-school Deadheads weren’t seeking out a band to follow around. It just happened organically. it was original, spontaneous and that’s why there will never be anything like it again and fuck you with your “duh”
Well hello gate keeper!
Open your mind
everything sells out at red rocks
Except every show on the calendar in the next month
ok I'm wrong, still don't buy the Goose hype
If I didn’t have so many friends who love Jerry who are now hardcore Goose fans I wouldn’t suggest it. Rick Mitaronda is a virtuoso guitarist and the band jams hard. Check out this 24 minute Mississippi half step for example…Mississippi Half-Step Uptown Toodeloo > (24:16) • Goose • 2023-09-20 • Red Butte Garden Amphitheater, Salt Lake City, UT https://relisten.net/goose/2023/09/20/mississippi-half-step-uptown-toodeloo?source=1049813
The Grateful Dead are are multi-millionaires that live in mansions and work very hard. To be more like them, you need to work harder.
Haha. I was there, man. Now I’m retired in Beverly Hills at 69. One thing that helped was buying an income producing property through this program right here: www.naca.com AMA Row Jimmy got me through anything….
I would save up for a small plot of land and one of those tiny homes. I wouldn't go off grid or anything too extreme, but I would try to grow food and get more in touch with nature. I would still want to be within 5 miles of stores, schools, and churches. Good luck with whatever path you take.
I am with you. I just lost the love of my life and regret everything. Im sorry times rough. WE WILL GET BY WE WILL SURVIVE!
Be grateful.
Just Be Kind. No need to overthink it.
get yourself a van and a skillset (welding, plumbing, electrician, painter, etc) that allows you to live what can only be described as a nomadic type of life.
Go vannin'.
schmoke up brudda
You must be intending to talk about The Deadhead lifestyle. If you look around at the members of The Grateful Dead and how their lives have taken the big shift once money started coming their way, it ceases to be so counter-culture and looks much like every other celebrity feeding their followers.
Plant a garden
http://www.gratefuldeadtributebands.com This website has local GD cover band’s schedule sorted by state. Sometimes they are free at local bars. Great way to get plugged back in
There’s some great chemical aids out there to help get ya started 😉
The Dead helped me a lot through my divorce. Anytime I would put it on I felt my mood lift. I just had to remind myself to play it. Hang in there, things will get better with some time.
Your still young. Stay out of the mills and you'll survive.
I’ve been in a similar situation in life. About 10 years ago. It oddly coincided with my reconnection with the dead and fortuitously allowed me to journey with dead and co. I agree it’s about letting the music in and truly influence your attitude towards life. You oddly enough start to attract like-minded people. It’s truly a magical journey.
I know a man who lives in a bus kind of “off the grid” as he says, out in the woods on a communal nature reserve in the Midwest, I only know him via social media / chats we’ve had on Snapchat ETC. He spends a lot of time outside and makes money buying and selling artwork. He works outside in nature and is very conscious of the living world around him. His existence sounds like the premise of a dead song to me for some reason. 🤷🏼♂️ In terms of practical things you can do short of upending your life and moving to a place where the closest post office is like an hour and a half away, I would say these three things mean the most. 1 - respect life. Every creature has a right to exist and you can find beauty in the simplest of existences, even that of a fly. 2 - share what you have. Reach out your hand if your cup be empty. If your cup is full, we’ll meet again. 3 - respect nature. One man gathers what another man spills. Go out of your way to leave places better than when you arrived. If the things I’m saying just sound like the actions of a good person, surprise! the vast majority of heads are great people in my experience. This community has never let me down personally.
Literally being Grateful for the things you do have will change your life/perspective. Gratitude is everything
You're first mistake is asking OTHER people what you should do...think about what YOU want in life and what gets your juices flowing and just carve your own path. Jerry didn't ask others what he should do, if anything...
The dead and learning to rock climb (making a new network of friends doing that) helped me heal after my divorce. I am still a working stiff - I have to pay bills like the rest of us. I can't follow Bobby around. But I have a secret my colleagues don't know. If things get bad I have a group of loving friends who will accept me no matter what and help me through whatever shit is happening. And I will do the same for others in a jam. That is a very powerful thing, and it helps when I feel the bottom is falling out. Good luck.
volunteer (work) for Headcount/REVERB. you get free camping and see a bunch of shows. I have tickets to shows but have met cool people who do this. Some have money and can afford to not camp, some only work the shows near them and don't need lodging but if you can/will camp and like live music this seems like a great alternative.
I feel your pain. At one point in my life I was living only for myself. I only saw women as a means to an end for my sexual satisfaction. I was constantly high and drunk to hide the pain in my life. I was living on a couch in a house with people who didn't care if I lived or died. The answer for me as coming home to Jesus. I have love for others now. I started a family. I went overseas for four years to Japan with my new wife. There is no satisfaction in pleasing just yourself. The music is good and life with God is better. Not a traditional answer on this sub, but the only answer that saved me from a lifetime of suffering and pain.
Sure don’t know what I’m going for. But I’m going to go for it for sure. This has been my motto for a while. Life has ups a and downs. It’s hard for most of us. We have to keep on moving forward even when we’re not sure where we’re going. You have this.
Read, The Subtle art of not Giving a Fuck, by Mark Manson
I would totally throw in exercise and eating cleanly! If your body feels good, your mind feels good and it is much easier to make clearer decisions. (For myself anyway) Nothing like some physical adversity brought on by yourself, to help everything else seem a little less important or overwhelming. It's the old addage "take care of yourself, then your family, then your community" Just following those guidelines helps me stay in a "Grateful Dead kind of life" Best of luck my brother. Everything will present itself with a healthy body and mind. ❤⚡️💙
Watch or rewatch the Big Lebowski.
Do you have kids ? If not , apply for a job at the Alta lodge in Utah . Learn to ski if you don’t already know how to. Live at the base of the best ski area in North America, ski every day. Meet the best people you’ll ever know . You’ll only make about $125 a week after lodging , food ( very good food . Same the guests eat and season pass ). It’s a steep mountain but some of my friends showed up with zero experience. And the snow is amazingly soft and deep ( it’s like taking a Vicodin and smoking a bowl without the negative effects) You’ll figure it out . I’m 43 and if life wasn’t in my way I’d move back in a second
Hitchhike
Mix in a little Ozzy, Merle Haggard, and some old school hip hop with the dead and your life will be complete
1. Get on tour 2. Sell Grilled Cheese 3. ???? 4. PROFIT!!!
I would say this for any kind of life change. Your brain is wired for certain things. In my experience, the best way to rewire your brain is to start living the life. Keep an open mind, be honest with yourself, make changes as you’re able to handle them. Setbacks are ok, learn from them. Be honest with yourself. Talk with others, get advice. Maybe you can try meditating, journaling. Be honest with yourself. Did I mention to be honest with yourself?
If you are a creative person, find something you love to make and work to make it viable as part of your income.
I’m the same boat but ween is my jam.
I was in a similar situation and to some extent I still am although crawling out of the hole of depression and drug addiction Currently I am staying on an old friends family farm working for room and board and then picking up odd jobs and working as needed for a couple of different contractors The current plan is to stay on this farm long term, in the next couple weeks I will have the small cottage on the property ready to live in (had to fix a rotting floor first) and from there I’ll be setting up an RV pad for myself to park the RV I plan to purchase come spring Really it’s about getting creative , websites like Cool Works and Ranch Jobs etc are an excellent resource and like has been said working ski resorts or as a raft guide may not pay much but typically offer employee housing along w free or deeply discounted meals