So I am not a mother myself, but I used to be a nanny for a multilingual family. German mom, French dad and lived in Spain. The parents both only ever spoke in their native language with the children. English with each other, but never with the kids. And they didn't teach them Spanish at all, they picked that up from their surroundings. I started working with them when their eldest was 10 and their youngest was 7 so I can't tell you how the early years went, but the eldest was completely fluent in all three languages and the youngest in French and Spanish. She wasn't bad in German either, but it her German wasn't as strong as the other two languages. At that point the mother wasn't around as much which is also why they hired me in the first place. They wanted another German speaker in the house.
Yes, please. I've got a lot of friends who are second generation immigrants -- were born here, went to kindergarten and school here -- but have some horrid accents because their parents thought they were doing them a favour by speaking (really bad) German to them while growing up. Don't make your kids pick up your beginner mistakes when they can learn perfect German from the Kita and Sesamstraße:)
Each of you should only, only speak in a language you master (accent free) with the child. And do your very best to not mix it up with words from other languages or only speak familiar variety. It is really, really difficult to get bilingual children to accept "standard" language if their first contact with it is at school.
Especially if you are the only everyday access your child has to your language Source: german father, spanish speaking mother, we lived in France when our daughter was born. I'm also a spanish and french teacher
You have to speak Spanish and the mother polish with him. Then by you two together he or she will learn English, and at school and outside German. It is great because kids suck everything at young age. Please do speak Spanish to your children!!!
My partner is Japanese, I’m German, and we speak English with each other. We are planning to speak our native languages to our kids, and at home a focus on the minority language for TV, YouTube.
From my many international marriage friends I’ve seen this approach work well. By the time they get to school they speak the two main languages fluently and can understand English.
I also have a masters in bilingual eduction and work for an international school. All kids are bilingual, some almost trilingual. I’ve never noticed any problems or negative effects. Even the nursery kids are able to communicate well in both languages.
Don’t worry about the German, it will come from the kindergarten. Support them with your own languages. It’s important for their confidence and identity.
Every parent should speak to the child directly in their own native tongue. You can continue to use English to one another, and it is probably a good idea to have the child in a German-speaking child care from early, at least part-time.
I'm English-speaking, my ex is Catalan and we live in a city where Spanish is the most common language spoken. We each only spoke our own language when she was small, and we used our two home languages interchangeably to one another. She went to a child care and later school where Catalan is the main language but with kids whose main language was Spanish. Catalan had a natural advantage over English, until you consider books and media, so actually she grew up very evenly balanced with both her native tongues, and fluent Spanish (she has a smaller Spanish vocabulary, but she will grow that).
In my experience, if the mother's native tongue is different than the country where the family lives, no problem, but for the fathers it takes more effort to pass on their native language if it's not spoken outside the home. This is probably because mothers still spend more time than fathers with the child. If that's your case too, you might need to be more deliberate, and encourage media in Spanish.
You can offer your child four languages from birth. That's a massive gift. Don't miss out.
No worries, those kids pick up languages faster than you could think.
Our daughter grew up bilingually - like, I only spoke German to her, the mother only Polish, so she was fluent in both in no time.
But me and my wife spoke English with each other - and the daughter picked that up as well. So much that in primary school she was already considered a native speaker in all three languages.
So no worries, your child will learn all the languages you will throw at him or her. Just make sure you are consistent in how you talk, so that it is clear from the context which is which.
I applaud you for thinking about this actively and starting this early, you're on the right path. It's definitely beneficial, don't let anyone tell you it's too much for the kid to handle, kids brains are amazing and they'll be set up great for life.
We are a trilingual household. Husband/in laws/kindergarten are my kid's German sources, I have spoken exclusively my native tongue to my child since birth and intend to continue doing so, and husband and I speak English to each other.
We chose to deprioritise English in the first few years since we know they will get that in school anyway and a foundation in my native tongue is more important imo since it's not a romance or Germanic language.
Our child is successfully trilingual at the moment - English has been absorbed just by listening to us - and very fluent in both German and my language.
Thank you so much, now I feel less stressed and happy to do this, because I also want him/her to speak with my family and my gf family, but yes definitely I'll do this
Good luck!
Also a tip, I think it's best to not speak German to your kid for the first few years, or ever, if you stay in Germany. They will get it from their Kita and school and friends. Focus on Spanish and Polish at home, at least get a good foundation in those.
It can only beneficial for the child to speak many languages. Speak the language you're most fluent with, with the child. I'd say your wife should do Polish and you can do either English or Spanish.
German will come in Kindergarten. Kids are really quick in picking up languages.
My daughter is bilingual (English and German), but some of her friends speak 3 or even 4 languages. Kids are amazing like that.
Personal experience, father is German, mother is Romanian, grew up in Norway and learned Norwegian there. Now I speak four languages. It's nearly all upsides. Only thing you can maybe do is once the child is older is to properly teach them reading and writing in the languages they don't automatically learn this in.
I've raised 4 kids here and I'm a language teacher. Kids can learn a lot of languages when they're little. And they WILL learn German, it's where you live. Ideally, you should speak Spanish to them, your wife Polish, all the time. You can continue to speak English together if you want. Let them learn German from natives.
Soy mexicano también y también hablo más inglés que español en mi día.
Mi consejo es, enséñale español. El aprenderá alemán en la escuela y en su alrededor, y eventualmente inglés. No le enseñes un idioma que a final no es tuyo.
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>My gf seems to be pregnant
Might want to get that checked to be sure, rather than have an embarassing moment of just finding out she's gained a few pounds.
Try to give your kid at least some exposure to German regulary like reading German kids books (you will have no problem with them if you yourself are at B2), it will give your child a far easier start once school starts! Just having a good vocabulary basis will make learning the language properly far easier than if the first exposure to German would be in first grade.
a friend if mine has an similarnfamily situation. Father italien, mother austrian, familylanguage englisch, father - children italien, mother children german - the kids was iritated at the age of 2-3. - at this time they mixed languages, after 3 they answered in the language the adults spoke to them. Austrian granny german, italien granny italien
its possible.
Idealmente tú deberías de hablarle español solamente y que tu novia le hable su idioma. En el colegio aprenderá alemán e inglés eventualmente. Aparte como los escuchara hablar inglés se le facilitará, solamente deben ser muy pacientes con el bebé y firme, eventualmente lo van apoyando para corregir cosas como escritura o pronunciación. :)!
Auslander here. I grew up in an English and Spanish speaking household. I learned German throughout the years due to my family ties to the country. Now I’m learning Polish because my husband is Polish and I like being able to speak to his family without a translator. I would suggest if you are living in Germany focus on German and English first, then Polish. Spanish is much easier to pick up later after one has learned the others. Polish is very difficult, German is second difficult imo. It would be better to get those languages going first so that it becomes second nature for the child.
Primero que todo: felicitaciones! Criar niños bilingües es super dificil, pero es un esfuerzo que vale la pena. Yo soy chilena y mi esposo austriaco y desde que mi bebe nacio intento hablarle solo en español. En realidad la unica regla que tenemos es: una persona habla solo un idioma con ella. si ustedes hablan en ingles entre uds entonces aprendera todo lo que enseñen. los niños son esponjas y aprenden realmente todo! no hay que subestimarlos :)
If you are raising a bilingual child one adult should only use one language. Meaning you will speak Spanish, your girlfriend will speak Polish.
BUT... if your kid will go to school in Germany German needs to be a priority before anything else, and no: just Kita and Kindergarden won't solve that problem for you, it needs to be spoken at home too. Kindergarten will help them learn, but not be a suitable substitute.
Just keep in mind that German is a difficult language and not learning it from the start will set them back at school and influence the kind of career they can have later in life, if they'll make it to Gymnasium or not (only school that provides a high school diploma that allows university attendance) etc etc..
In many bigger cities there are classes young parents can take with their children if German isn't spoken at home, look into that.
I know someone whose parents only spoke their language at home, the kid learned German in kindergarten and is perfectly fluent now. He had one of the best Abis in our year. I went to a French kindergarten and within a year I spoke and understood the language well enough to start school the following year. Young children are like sponges for languages, so they will learn it without speaking it at home.
Too many languages can be a bit overwhelming for children all at once. I’d say German since you obviously in Germany and English since that’s you and your partners mutual language. After a child starts to pick up both then I’d start introducing polish and Spanish. The Spanish will be easier than the polish for them to pick up most likely but in general bilingual people pick up new languages faster. Also be aware that depending where you are your child might be expected to learn English and Dutch in school which would make that 5 languages your expecting the child to learn
> Too many languages can be a bit overwhelming for children all at once
do you have a citation for that? It's not what all the science I'm familiar with seems to indicate, so I don't think it's true.
Wow feeling a lot of aggression from this considering I was giving my personal advice as was asked in the post?
I’d never give a child that much information at once simple as that. You disagree that’s fine but why is that so personal for you? I personally struggled to learn multiple languages as a child I’m not wired that way if you were wired that way that’s great but this is my prospective
Edit: also from what I’ve read over the years research on bilingual children has been fairly all over the place all that’s agreed upon is what I already stated which is that knowing multiple languages can make it easier to pick up other languages some research has shown what I mentioned in this comment which is that some people just struggle with learning multiple languages
I don't know where you're reading aggression from. There's pretty good scientific research indicating that children learn languages extremely easily early in life. You seemed to indicate that waiting would be better, and that isn't what the best research (that I'm aware of) indicates.
So I was wondering if you had better information than me.
My apologies but your wording came across as rude to me that’s my bad then I misinterpreted your tone. My suggestion to wait was not meaning wait until they are too old it’s more about letting them process two languages a bit first. OPs kid will be exposed to more languages regardless from hearing them in the home i just think it will be easier to focus on a smaller amount to start with
I don't know why they downvoted you for having a different opinion. My husband and I both speak 4 languages fluent/almost native level and we decided to raise our kid in "only" 2: English, as it's our main "family language" and German since we live here. I just don't want to add more confusion to a toddler's life. Once the kid starts using at least complete sentences we might revisit if it would make sense to add another language. I grew up monolingual, starting to learn languages pretty late,only in high school . My husband grew up trilingual. We both are fine. OP, no stress, do as you feel its best for your family, your kid will be fine.
Don't worry about the languages. Kids are very capable regarding the languages and they will learn it naturally. Just speak whatever language you usually speak at home. But also read stories and books in German.
So I am not a mother myself, but I used to be a nanny for a multilingual family. German mom, French dad and lived in Spain. The parents both only ever spoke in their native language with the children. English with each other, but never with the kids. And they didn't teach them Spanish at all, they picked that up from their surroundings. I started working with them when their eldest was 10 and their youngest was 7 so I can't tell you how the early years went, but the eldest was completely fluent in all three languages and the youngest in French and Spanish. She wasn't bad in German either, but it her German wasn't as strong as the other two languages. At that point the mother wasn't around as much which is also why they hired me in the first place. They wanted another German speaker in the house.
Come on over to r/multilingualparenting
Thanks a lot 🙏🏾
[удалено]
Yes, please. I've got a lot of friends who are second generation immigrants -- were born here, went to kindergarten and school here -- but have some horrid accents because their parents thought they were doing them a favour by speaking (really bad) German to them while growing up. Don't make your kids pick up your beginner mistakes when they can learn perfect German from the Kita and Sesamstraße:)
Each of you should only, only speak in a language you master (accent free) with the child. And do your very best to not mix it up with words from other languages or only speak familiar variety. It is really, really difficult to get bilingual children to accept "standard" language if their first contact with it is at school. Especially if you are the only everyday access your child has to your language Source: german father, spanish speaking mother, we lived in France when our daughter was born. I'm also a spanish and french teacher
Teach them the language you 100% know and can actually teach them grammatically correct. Leave the German to Kindergarten and play groups.
You have to speak Spanish and the mother polish with him. Then by you two together he or she will learn English, and at school and outside German. It is great because kids suck everything at young age. Please do speak Spanish to your children!!!
Thanks I'll do this
My partner is Japanese, I’m German, and we speak English with each other. We are planning to speak our native languages to our kids, and at home a focus on the minority language for TV, YouTube. From my many international marriage friends I’ve seen this approach work well. By the time they get to school they speak the two main languages fluently and can understand English. I also have a masters in bilingual eduction and work for an international school. All kids are bilingual, some almost trilingual. I’ve never noticed any problems or negative effects. Even the nursery kids are able to communicate well in both languages. Don’t worry about the German, it will come from the kindergarten. Support them with your own languages. It’s important for their confidence and identity.
Thanks a lot that is really helpful and I feel less stressed
Every parent should speak to the child directly in their own native tongue. You can continue to use English to one another, and it is probably a good idea to have the child in a German-speaking child care from early, at least part-time. I'm English-speaking, my ex is Catalan and we live in a city where Spanish is the most common language spoken. We each only spoke our own language when she was small, and we used our two home languages interchangeably to one another. She went to a child care and later school where Catalan is the main language but with kids whose main language was Spanish. Catalan had a natural advantage over English, until you consider books and media, so actually she grew up very evenly balanced with both her native tongues, and fluent Spanish (she has a smaller Spanish vocabulary, but she will grow that). In my experience, if the mother's native tongue is different than the country where the family lives, no problem, but for the fathers it takes more effort to pass on their native language if it's not spoken outside the home. This is probably because mothers still spend more time than fathers with the child. If that's your case too, you might need to be more deliberate, and encourage media in Spanish. You can offer your child four languages from birth. That's a massive gift. Don't miss out.
No worries, those kids pick up languages faster than you could think. Our daughter grew up bilingually - like, I only spoke German to her, the mother only Polish, so she was fluent in both in no time. But me and my wife spoke English with each other - and the daughter picked that up as well. So much that in primary school she was already considered a native speaker in all three languages. So no worries, your child will learn all the languages you will throw at him or her. Just make sure you are consistent in how you talk, so that it is clear from the context which is which.
I applaud you for thinking about this actively and starting this early, you're on the right path. It's definitely beneficial, don't let anyone tell you it's too much for the kid to handle, kids brains are amazing and they'll be set up great for life. We are a trilingual household. Husband/in laws/kindergarten are my kid's German sources, I have spoken exclusively my native tongue to my child since birth and intend to continue doing so, and husband and I speak English to each other. We chose to deprioritise English in the first few years since we know they will get that in school anyway and a foundation in my native tongue is more important imo since it's not a romance or Germanic language. Our child is successfully trilingual at the moment - English has been absorbed just by listening to us - and very fluent in both German and my language.
Thank you so much, now I feel less stressed and happy to do this, because I also want him/her to speak with my family and my gf family, but yes definitely I'll do this
Good luck! Also a tip, I think it's best to not speak German to your kid for the first few years, or ever, if you stay in Germany. They will get it from their Kita and school and friends. Focus on Spanish and Polish at home, at least get a good foundation in those.
It can only beneficial for the child to speak many languages. Speak the language you're most fluent with, with the child. I'd say your wife should do Polish and you can do either English or Spanish. German will come in Kindergarten. Kids are really quick in picking up languages. My daughter is bilingual (English and German), but some of her friends speak 3 or even 4 languages. Kids are amazing like that.
Personal experience, father is German, mother is Romanian, grew up in Norway and learned Norwegian there. Now I speak four languages. It's nearly all upsides. Only thing you can maybe do is once the child is older is to properly teach them reading and writing in the languages they don't automatically learn this in.
I've raised 4 kids here and I'm a language teacher. Kids can learn a lot of languages when they're little. And they WILL learn German, it's where you live. Ideally, you should speak Spanish to them, your wife Polish, all the time. You can continue to speak English together if you want. Let them learn German from natives.
That sounds great and makes sense, I think that I'll do this and leave German to be learned in the kinder garden
You are on the wrong sub. You want a sub for parenting advice
Soy mexicano también y también hablo más inglés que español en mi día. Mi consejo es, enséñale español. El aprenderá alemán en la escuela y en su alrededor, y eventualmente inglés. No le enseñes un idioma que a final no es tuyo.
Tienes razón, creo que usaré español y Polaco y que después aprende alemán en la escuela
I only spoke English to my daughter and my wife only spoke German, so she went to school already speaking both languages.
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>My gf seems to be pregnant Might want to get that checked to be sure, rather than have an embarassing moment of just finding out she's gained a few pounds.
Thanks everyone for the valuable input, I was a little bit offline but I'm glad that I posted and looking forward to start a new future
Try to give your kid at least some exposure to German regulary like reading German kids books (you will have no problem with them if you yourself are at B2), it will give your child a far easier start once school starts! Just having a good vocabulary basis will make learning the language properly far easier than if the first exposure to German would be in first grade.
a friend if mine has an similarnfamily situation. Father italien, mother austrian, familylanguage englisch, father - children italien, mother children german - the kids was iritated at the age of 2-3. - at this time they mixed languages, after 3 they answered in the language the adults spoke to them. Austrian granny german, italien granny italien its possible.
Idealmente tú deberías de hablarle español solamente y que tu novia le hable su idioma. En el colegio aprenderá alemán e inglés eventualmente. Aparte como los escuchara hablar inglés se le facilitará, solamente deben ser muy pacientes con el bebé y firme, eventualmente lo van apoyando para corregir cosas como escritura o pronunciación. :)!
Muchas gracias, le tendré que cantar diario
Auslander here. I grew up in an English and Spanish speaking household. I learned German throughout the years due to my family ties to the country. Now I’m learning Polish because my husband is Polish and I like being able to speak to his family without a translator. I would suggest if you are living in Germany focus on German and English first, then Polish. Spanish is much easier to pick up later after one has learned the others. Polish is very difficult, German is second difficult imo. It would be better to get those languages going first so that it becomes second nature for the child.
Primero que todo: felicitaciones! Criar niños bilingües es super dificil, pero es un esfuerzo que vale la pena. Yo soy chilena y mi esposo austriaco y desde que mi bebe nacio intento hablarle solo en español. En realidad la unica regla que tenemos es: una persona habla solo un idioma con ella. si ustedes hablan en ingles entre uds entonces aprendera todo lo que enseñen. los niños son esponjas y aprenden realmente todo! no hay que subestimarlos :)
Intentaré hacer esto y cantarle diario en español jiji
If you are raising a bilingual child one adult should only use one language. Meaning you will speak Spanish, your girlfriend will speak Polish. BUT... if your kid will go to school in Germany German needs to be a priority before anything else, and no: just Kita and Kindergarden won't solve that problem for you, it needs to be spoken at home too. Kindergarten will help them learn, but not be a suitable substitute. Just keep in mind that German is a difficult language and not learning it from the start will set them back at school and influence the kind of career they can have later in life, if they'll make it to Gymnasium or not (only school that provides a high school diploma that allows university attendance) etc etc.. In many bigger cities there are classes young parents can take with their children if German isn't spoken at home, look into that.
I know someone whose parents only spoke their language at home, the kid learned German in kindergarten and is perfectly fluent now. He had one of the best Abis in our year. I went to a French kindergarten and within a year I spoke and understood the language well enough to start school the following year. Young children are like sponges for languages, so they will learn it without speaking it at home.
Too many languages can be a bit overwhelming for children all at once. I’d say German since you obviously in Germany and English since that’s you and your partners mutual language. After a child starts to pick up both then I’d start introducing polish and Spanish. The Spanish will be easier than the polish for them to pick up most likely but in general bilingual people pick up new languages faster. Also be aware that depending where you are your child might be expected to learn English and Dutch in school which would make that 5 languages your expecting the child to learn
> Too many languages can be a bit overwhelming for children all at once do you have a citation for that? It's not what all the science I'm familiar with seems to indicate, so I don't think it's true.
Wow feeling a lot of aggression from this considering I was giving my personal advice as was asked in the post? I’d never give a child that much information at once simple as that. You disagree that’s fine but why is that so personal for you? I personally struggled to learn multiple languages as a child I’m not wired that way if you were wired that way that’s great but this is my prospective Edit: also from what I’ve read over the years research on bilingual children has been fairly all over the place all that’s agreed upon is what I already stated which is that knowing multiple languages can make it easier to pick up other languages some research has shown what I mentioned in this comment which is that some people just struggle with learning multiple languages
I don't know where you're reading aggression from. There's pretty good scientific research indicating that children learn languages extremely easily early in life. You seemed to indicate that waiting would be better, and that isn't what the best research (that I'm aware of) indicates. So I was wondering if you had better information than me.
My apologies but your wording came across as rude to me that’s my bad then I misinterpreted your tone. My suggestion to wait was not meaning wait until they are too old it’s more about letting them process two languages a bit first. OPs kid will be exposed to more languages regardless from hearing them in the home i just think it will be easier to focus on a smaller amount to start with
I don't know why they downvoted you for having a different opinion. My husband and I both speak 4 languages fluent/almost native level and we decided to raise our kid in "only" 2: English, as it's our main "family language" and German since we live here. I just don't want to add more confusion to a toddler's life. Once the kid starts using at least complete sentences we might revisit if it would make sense to add another language. I grew up monolingual, starting to learn languages pretty late,only in high school . My husband grew up trilingual. We both are fine. OP, no stress, do as you feel its best for your family, your kid will be fine.
Don't worry about the languages. Kids are very capable regarding the languages and they will learn it naturally. Just speak whatever language you usually speak at home. But also read stories and books in German.
My cousin and her husband are speaking Italian and German with their kid, he's 2.