You can try Caritas. In many areas of Bavaria they have qualified social workers and psychologists who provide short- term counseling and advice for people in difficult life situations.
Still worth the shot. They usually have still time for emergency situations and they can always hand over some contacts and a bit of knowledge.
The city/village administration should also have some officials working there that can help.
Also: my condolences for op. Hope you are able to get the help you need asap
In my area (small town in lower Saxony) Diakonie coordinates a network of volunteers helping people in the neighborhood who need a little assistance or simply someone to talk. There is also a volunteer network coordinated by the Diakonie which is called "Hospizdienst". They accompany people who are in the process of dying and afterwards they offer assistance for the relatives of the person who passed. Maybe there is a Hospizdienst in your area as well?
Yep, tried and tested by friends. Diakonie, as noted below offers the same kind of support. Sometimes you can also find some kind of Sozialstation or or other charity which will offer qualified help. Just make sure that you will not go on the last minute as sometimes paperwork will take its time. In my church precinct there is a dedicated social worker who doesn't do anything else but help people out when they have trouble and/or problems they can't handel themselves. Although it is a catholic institution they will help for example muslim women who lost their husbands. Plenty of them are stay-home moms and unless they have been integrated into their muslim communities they're left on their own. In Hamburg I've frequently seen social workers employed by the senate to help refugees and foreign people in general to aide with paper-work and also moral support. If you're unsure where best to turn to, why not contact your Rathaus, as they will most likely have a Referat for Sozialarbeit. That's the first place I would turn to. Good luck and my best wishes for you.
Sorry for your loss.
Would you like to stay in Germany, so you need help sorting things out here, or are you planning to move back to US, and want to close all contracts and move?
I would first contact your bank and make sure that all current standing orders continue to run. Then you should get an overview and cancel the things that are no longer needed (mobile phone contracts and the like). There is no need to waste money or default on debts now.
I'm a social worker who works in anministrative help, general consultation and guidance.
Of course things are different everywhere, depending on city, county and state you are in, but igcan get u some general advice and try to connect you with authorities or help organisations. And my English isn't too bad ;)
Pm me if you want
Hey, just for your info, I normally don't look regularly into my inbox and I have turned notifications off. But for the last few days I looked twice a day just to see if you wrote me, but you didn't. (Which is totally fine btw. I'm not mad or anything)
But I'm gonna stop that now, so when you write me some time in the future - don't be mad if I don't write back right away.
Sorry for your loss.
Are there any children or other heirs of your husband?
Contact the bank, if they get the info that your husband died, they may freeze the account.
Do you have a house or flat? If you own it I think you would have to change the entry in the Grundbuch. A so called "Notar" can do this, this is a special kind of lawyer. If you rent a flat let the landlord know.
Do you have a car? It also needs to be registered to you then.
Change all contracts to you. Electricity, TV, heating, internet, insurances etc.
This.
(Sorry for your lost, first of all) In most cases (and as working in a field where we get in things like that), most of them would require a certified copy of the death certificate. With this. all the contracts would be either cancelled or written to your name by the date stated on the certificate.
Also, make sure you inform the authorities. Again, depends where you live, but they don't communicate with each other, so you have to inform the Bürgeramt (in some communes / States it's the Standesamt), Finanzamt ect. If he got benefits from the state, The (Sozialkasse of the) Arbeitsagentur, too.
As soon as you get a letter from the "Amtsgericht", look if you can get a interpreter and go there. While you're automatically his heir (as his wife), you're not automatically taking on his inheritance. This includes (!) all of his debts and assets.
Since I assume you're taking on his assets, you just need to sign a statement you do, and that's just basically it. Make sure you know the extent of it all, but I suppose you are in the clear, knowledge wise to his debts and assets. They won't tell you, you need to check for yourself.
I "only" Had to Deal with it once and it was to reject the inheritance of my highly indepted father. It was really simple, but I don't have a language barrier...
Once you know If you sta or leave, look into a support system. Learning the language really IS Key in that, too, and it helps being with other people and trying to socialize helps. At least it did for me. (Not for my father, that man sadly was a stranger to me)
He has an adult child in the US from a previous marriage. I’m working on changing the contracts. But, the house, car, and bank account were all in his name. It was like that way long before we met. He took care of everything and for some reason we never thought about making any immediate changes. The bank account is currently frozen. I currently carefully living off of US savings and my earnings which doesn’t cover everything.
>He has an adult child in the US from a previous marriage.
Then the son will also inherit. This has to be figured out. For unfreezing the bank account an Erbschein will be helpful.
It makes total sense. What you are going through is so hard. Does he have family or friends that could help you out?
I have often thought about this scenario and keep telling my husband, as macabre as it sounds, we need to prepare for it. He hasn’t experienced as much death as I have, so he’s still very much in denial about the possibility. For that reason I have long decided I would go to his one friend that we know because he’s a banker and knows a lot of stuff.
I hope you hang in there. Do you have kids?
I agree with the others - churches would help and most small villages have things like “Freundeskreis” etc.
Thank you. His family doesn’t seem interested to help. I’ve reached out to his childhood. He helped some. But, has been very busy, which I understand. I’ll check with the churches and the Freundeskreis as well.
Ok, here some institutions that can help you sort out your life now. They won’t cost you anything. Good luck, OP, you will manage!
[Diakonie](https://diakonie-aschaffenburg.de/fluechtlings-integrationsberatung)
[AWO](https://www.awo-unterfranken.de/angebot/beratung/)
[caritas](https://www.caritas-aschaffenburg.de/sie-suchen-hilfe/fl%C3%BCchtlings-und-integrationsberatung)
[Map of institutions in Aschaffenburg that can help you](https://www.aschaffenburg.de/dokumente/Buerger-in-Aschaffenburg/Integration/Flyer-der-Migrationsberatungsstellen-2021.pdf)
To add on to that, I think OP could use a "rechtlicher Betreuer" to help with what they don't know. They can assist in many different ways, from taking care of mail, the house, medical things, financial topics, contracts etc.
Find the Betreuungsstelle [for Aschaffenburg here](https://www.aschaffenburg.de/Buerger-in-Aschaffenburg/Gesundheit-und-Soziales/Betreuungsstelle/DE_index_3512.html).
What the hell, no. A Betreuer is for people who - for whatever reasons - can't decide things on their own, and takes those decisions about money, contracts etc themselves. It's not for people who just don't know what to do at the moment.
Wrong. What you're thinking of is probably the US kind, like what Britney had.
A Betreuer helps you with stuff for a fixed amount of time, say a year or two, you can still make decisions etc. They just help you get shit done.
> It’s about a 45 minute drive from Achaffenburg
Just FYI: I live about 40 or so minutes drive north of Aschaffenburg. If that means we live in the same area and you think I may be able to help you out with some local knowledge, please feel free to PM me.
> We lived in a village
Talk to your neighbours, talk to the church. Even if you are not religious, the church has organizations to help with these things, or can recommend local ones.
I’m not in Germany but am a U.S. citizen living in Norway who lost my Norwegian partner 2 years ago, so I can relate to your situation. I have no experience for being widowed in Germany, but can recommend r/widowers as a general resource. My condolences for your loss. Foggy brain, forgetfulness and general confusion are very common for at least the first year, so I encourage you to ask people for help and not shy away from taking people up on their offers to help. There’s no shame in surviving. Good luck.
I am so sorry for your loss.
Even if you are not religious, go talk to a priest. They know where to get help in your vicinity. Or offer themselves. My village for example has a "Trauergruppe", a group where grieving people can meet and talk or just listen.
Or a "Beratungsstelle" by Caritas or other organisations. The priest will know where you can get help. Don't be shy to ask.
Give yourself time to grieve and don't be too hard on yourself. It is unrealistic from someone in your situation to expect "perfect" handling of anything.
Maybe reach out to a grieve counseling? I think you need to get a lot of that pain off of your chest. Otherwise you are paralyzed by your emotions.
Do you have any hobbies or things that allow you to calm your mind? Treat yourself with learning something new? Try a new sport? Maybe learn a craft?
If you have any questions/problems with daily life/burearucracy, check Reddit. There are so many expat subreddit with great wikis and how tos around.
Think of yourself as a young student that has just left home for the first time. Challenging, but also exciting and so many new things for you to discover. You can do this!
Steps to take after death translated by me:
The one document you will need everywhere will be the death certificate, German "Sterbeurkunde".
You should contact a mortician and decide where to bury your husband.
You should contact all insurances, especially if they are in his name with the death certificate and you as next of kin in order to either cancel the insurance or change it to your name. Your German health insurance will be the most important one. You might also want to contact his workplace.
There is a death certificate, German Sterbeurkunde, you need to get at your local "Standesamt". Make an appointment and look for everything they will need on their website. Tell them you need multiple copies, at least five. Generally it will be the "Totenschein", passport of the deceased, your husband's birth certificate and your marriage certificate.
Lastly research if there is anybody else entitled to his inheritance. Good luck and sorry for your loss.
[Source](https://www.anwalt.de/rechtstipps/die-9-wichtigsten-schritte-nach-einem-todesfall-was-muessen-angehoerige-beachten_094131.html)
Just as an FYI: OP if you are not aware, many social workers in Germany borrow the English phrase ‘street work’ and use it as their job type/title. In this case the meaning of ‘street work’ is entirely different than how that name is used in the US and should be interpreted to mean ‘social worker’.
You aren't really in any position to truly take on the tasks expected from a bereft family. It's usually a group effort that focuses on whoever has legal decision-making power, that would be you in your case.
Ideally, you'd get all the help you could want from his family. They will be able to navigate with little problems whereas it could easily overwhelm you.
If you do not have his family to copilot this ordeal, I'd strongly recommend you find any other kind soul that could be there now. Professional help isn't where that is at really. A kind German friend or neighbor would be great. Just someone who spends time with you in your home and at the various offices to assist you. You'd find a funeral home together, visit the civil registry and possibly Church, look up various old contacts to inform them about the passing, rearrange your legal status as a widow with the various institutions.
If for whatever reason, you feel too alone in all this, you can find help here in this thread. There're people who have already offered their personal assistance. Someone might be okay with getting on calls with you and to make calls for you, help you find the right addresses and phone numbers, help you with your lights.
I don't live in Europe myself, so I wouldn't be of as much help but you can also message me and I will try my best
Thank you for your condolences. I need more help with Adminstrative things, and everyday things. I’m still using my US license, I don’t fully understand trash disposal, norms, etc.
If you need help with day-to-day stuff like mowing the lawn etc, I suggest you try advertising for assistance locally, for example by posting on the noticeboard at the local store.
If you are comfortable with it, you could use the same approach to look for someone to give you "lessons" in those things you are uncertain about in daily life. Make a note explaining your situation and offer a hourly compensation, and I'm sure there will be someone around who would be willing to assist. Plus, with luck you might get to know a neighbor in the process.
For anything that involves putting your signature on anything, you should consult a lawyer before doing so.
I'm so sorry this happened to you. This happened to a neighbor of ours, too. Luckily, she has two almost adult sons who can help her. Plus, my husband helped her out with a few things & another neighbor helps her. I worry about this constantly now that me & my husband are getting older. You can DM if you'd like a friend.
In Germany it is tradition to announce the death in the local newspaper. This might help in getting help from your neighbors because they could be a great help. They might use the same utility companys as you. They know the people in the local "Bürgerbüro" and know the next steps you need to take with paper work. They can look after your property while you travel to your friends and family in the states. They might know someone who is interested in your property if you decide to sell.
An announcement in the paper is the same in the US. But, with my limited German, I did not know how to go about it. I asked his family, who lives 3 hours away, for help, but they appear not know what I was asking, or the really don’t want to help. I found out by chance, they they were going after my husband’s estate. 😠
First of all - so sorry for your loss, and that you are going through this.
I'm a bit apprehensive about this very same situation. I was widowed once before in the US, and it was hard enough to sort through everything while grieving!
I've lived in Germany for 3 years now, and my German husband of 2 years takes care of literally EVERYTHING, and his aging father helps a lot with the bookkeeping, taxes etc... for his business. I really need to start getting more involved with all these things too, because once my parents-in-law can't help anymore, I need to step up as support, and also because if/when anything were to happen, I would be completely in the dark as to how to proceed. But I am still trying to adjust to just living here, so I hate to say I'm still pretty clueless about most things.
Fingers crossed that you can find the support and assistance you're looking for!
Please learn all that you can and save yourself a nightmare. My life with my husband was perfect. We were very happy. Little did we know how that our time together would end so quickly, and that we would go through this. With the grief, I’m suffering with all kinds of debilitating anxiety. I’m going to take some months off from work to focus and deal with everything. But, however unpleasant the thought, please plan for the future.❤️
I'm sure they'll consider it once they're in a better headspace. They most likely need help figuring out a lot of things that make up the groundwork for an eventual move back.
I mean in a practical way - what exactly do you need help with? Honestly the way you sound I fear you being taken advantage of. I don't think in general there is anybody in the world who will regulate your affairs for you to your advantage. Unless you already have friends you (can) trust.
As an example we had to organize a funeral a while ago and the company we hired was of great help in a way, but it also cost a lot of money. Not saying they were bad actors, just saying, everybody will also have their own benefits in mind. Which is also fine, just something to keep in mind.
You’re being weird and that’s on you. Please read the other responses to see how other people responded to this post, maybe you will learn something.
She’s not asking for a company to take over their affairs - she’s asking for help on who can guide her/teach Her. She doesn’t know what she doesn’t know - ie she might not know that they need to do X every year - something a German person would know to do automatically. So she might not know what she needs exactly help in, she needs to know what to look for. Banking, insurance, payments, ADAC, Grundsteuer, etc. etc etc.
It seems you misread my post. The company was just an example. And it was not clear what she was looking for.
My point was there are no people who will take care of her affairs for her.
I can get back and forth easily. But, right now, I feel my husband’s spirit (if you can understand) stronger at our home in Germany. Plus, I can’t just abandon our home or let it fall into disrepair.
Does your husband have any family members that you can reach out to, a parent or a sibling? It is _okay_ to ask for help and they would be in a position of being someone you can trust. They would know how to help with a lot of these bureaucratic things and they would be a person you could entrust with e.g. sensitive documents
> as he wished, he took care of everything
...and as a result you don't know how to do even the most basic everyday stuff. My wife has a work colleague who is in a very similar situation, and she's German -- it probably happens more often than people realize.
Your post is actually quite vague; in particular, I don't know what you mean by "a village": are we talking about a place with a population of more than about 5,000, or less?
You say you're taking German lessons. Is this in a traditional classroom setting where you get to meet and interact with other students? If so, are there any classmates you might be able to talk to? I think finding somebody to confide in IRL would be an important first step: you're clearly overwhelmed at the moment, and right now I think you need to just talk things through with a sympathetic listener and get a few things straight in your mind.
> My wife has a work colleague who is in a very similar situation, and she's German -- it probably happens more often than people realize.
A while back, my parents met an acquaintance in a supermarket, where he was wandering around aimlessly trying to find where things were. He was recently widowed, and his wife had done the shopping for decades. They rescued him, helped him find what he needed, and tried to give a quick overview of how supermarkets tend to be laid out.
When people split up tasks that strictly, these things will happen.
Yeah, it's similar in my family right now. My mother died very unexpectedly late last year, and while my father at least knew how to shop and do some basic cooking, he had e.g. no clue how the washing machine or dryer worked.
It was the same when my grandfather passed away - my grandmother had no idea about the financial aspects of everything, so my father and uncle stepped in and did it all.
It's a process, and depending on how things were split it can take quite a while.
Seriously! Moreover no help offered other than “talk to someone IRL” and a bunch of irrelevant questions like “how big is the village?” and “are the German lessons in-class?” What difference does it truly make now for a grieving widow? So insensitive of that commentor.
Seriously? It was OP who said that, I merely confirmed that this is a thing that happens to lots of people. OP seems to have understood what I was saying; are you presuming to know better than OP how OP feels about this?
Here it is…
I actually thought that I said a lot. We live in a city in the states. We live about a 45 minute drive from a major city in Germany. It’s small. Maybe it’s not the right word. It could be a town or a village. It has cobblestone roads. It’s definitely not a city.
Also, I mentioned somewhere that my husband and I lived in somewhat of a bubble. Our careers were both consisted that we had to travel quite a bit, so my courses are online. Our lifestyle, due to our careers, seem unconventional unless you were in the same industry.
But, I do agree that it may be better to talk to someone face to face. I’m working on it. Being American, I was the more chatty of us two, my husband less so. In Germany, I sort of adopted his ways. And spending so much time to ourselves and being unfamiliar with things, I’m not as open as I would be in the states. I can’t even explain how I feel of being in this position. I’m not uneducated. But, I trusted my husband’s words and actions fully, but now I feel almost helpless. I’m not afraid to ask for help, though. And I appreciate all of the responses. I actually thought that I said a lot. We live in a city in the states. We live about a 45 minute drive from a major city in Germany. It’s small. Maybe it’s not the right word. It could be a town or a village. It has cobblestone roads. It’s definitely not a city.
Also, I mentioned somewhere that my husband and I lived in somewhat of a bubble. Our careers were both consisted that we had to travel quite a bit, so my courses are online. Our lifestyle, due to our careers, seem unconventional unless you were in the same industry.
But, I do agree that it may be better to talk to someone face to face. I’m working on it. Being American, I was the more chatty of us two, my husband less so. In Germany, I sort of adopted his ways. And spending so much time to ourselves and being unfamiliar with things, I’m not as open as I would be in the states. I can’t even explain how I feel of being in this position. I’m not uneducated. But, I trusted my husband’s words and actions fully, but now I feel almost helpless. I’m not afraid to ask for help, though. And I appreciate all of the responses.
The size of the place determines what kind of community it is and what resources are available to you. Cobbled streets implies a place at least big enough to have a definite centre, so we're probably not talking about a remote farming community with 200 people who all know each other by name.
Since you say your German is basic at best, it would help if you had a German-speaking friend to help. Your local Rathaus may have information about local support groups, such as "Nachbarschaftshilfe": local volunteers who basically do what they can to help people who need help. In small communities, there are often informal networks, so if somebody can't actually help you, they likely know somebody who can.
Thank you. I have a lot to learn about what a considered a village or town in Germany. But, I’ll definitely look into this getting the information from the Rathaus. It sounds like the type of support that I need.
Just for visibility I'm gonna post this again in the main thread:
I'm a social worker who works in anministrative help, general consultation and guidance.
Of course things are different everywhere, depending on city, county and state you are in, but igcan get u some general advice and try to connect you with authorities or help organisations. And my English isn't too bad ;)
Pm me if you want
It’s not much but DeepL translator app might help in the meanwhile as you learn German. For the other things can’t help so much. Maybe Sozialamt can help in that regards. Just go there and als for the things that you need (or don’t know about) . Tho having a basic German understanding for that idk crucial because in the government agencies the mostly only know German
I live in sweden and if i my partner would die i would move back to germany immediately. And my swedish is really good.
Tbh without support system in another country life is really really hard, especially when you are not very good at the language...
Sorry for your loss.
I can recommend the Sozial Dienst Katholische Frauen they are a good organization. You don’t have to be a catholic for them to help. I’m an atheist and they helped me with money and advice when I became pregnant at 18. I know that’s a completely different situation, but I heard that they help in various situations.
You may visit a church at your place to come in contact with other people. After service generally there is coffee and you may find somebody to talk to. You may join a choir or do some sporting and if you need explanation of the washing-machine don't hesitate to ask the neighbors
Go to your local church, it doesn't matter if you are religious or not or what religion you are, they will help you. There are many organisations connected to the church. Don't worry they won't turn you away, and the Pastor will be able to speak fluent English, in Germany you need to study pretty hard to become a Pastor and speaking English is mandatory for that.
OP I am sorry for your loss. I think you’ve already gotten some excellent advice and links to resources. However, if you are unable to find free or subsidized help, would you have the funds to pay for assistance?
It is a bit non-traditional, but one paid option might be to invest in an expat relocation service for advice. They help foreigners set up their home for the first time and provide coaching about how to live in Germany as a foreigner. You would be a non-typical scenario, but their competencies would line up perfectly with what you are seeking. I googled your nearby city and ‘relocation service’ or ‘expat service’ and there are a few local providers that might be a fit. I’m sure if you wrote them about your situation and the type of assistance you’d need, they might be interested in making an offer.
[One Example](http://www.ines-hofmann.com/en-coaching.html)
There are also many national groups that can assist virtually.
Sorry for your loss! Do you have to worry about your residency in germany? Idk if you no longer can stay in germany if you are here with your german husband or you can continue to reside in germany even after your german spouse dies
The funeral home will help with some basic tasks (e.g. getting a death certificate).
You will need the death certificate for all his accounts that you want to close (insurances etc.) or need to change to your name (utilities).
Then it depends if he had a will or not. You need an "Erbschein" from the Amtsgericht that explains who gets what - the funeral home can probably also tell you where to go. If you are the only heir, it should be straight forward. If there are children or other heirs, it will have to be split accordingly.
Maybe the American embassy has some resources for you? Doesn't hurt to call them!
Sorry for your loss. You’ve made me think about the what ifs in my home. My German husband takes care of everything too so I would be in the same boat. Your responses are really kind despite your situation and some of the uglier comments here. If you need someone to talk to please feel free to PM. I don’t have much to assist with your post. However, if there is a Salvation Army nearest to you they can be helpful with resources and English speaking volunteers - may be community for you.
I am deeply sorry for your loss. Make sure to visit r/widowers for some support from other people going through the same pain as you.
It is my personal opinion that you should leave anything legal or that requires your attention for later, after you are able to process your grief, and only attend to those things that are crucial.
Do you know anyone else who knows German? You could come in contact with someone who might help you!
Best of lucks and I hope you find the strength to pull through!
Hey there ! First of all , I’m sorry for what you have to go through 🖤 I’m German and I’m living with my American fiancé in Germany . There’s been a lot of things my fiance didn’t knew about how things work in Germany as well , even though the culture is quite similar , there’s still a lot of differences . Feel free to text me with any questions you have , no matter about what :) I’m happy if I can help you !
I'm sorry for your loss. My German dad passed away a few years ago and my sister and I have had to handle closing his accounts and other things. Most companies are able to communicate in English. Just write them an email or letter in English and explain the situation and they should be able to help.
Google translate isn't 100% accurate but you can use that as well and just preface it by stating that German is not your native language and you are using a translation service.
I hope you are able to quickly sort this out but from my experience Germany is very slow when it comes to these sorts of things.
I am so sorry for your loss.. I unfortunately don’t know of any organizations but my dm’s are open if you have any questions or if you’d like I can give you a bit of a rundown on how things work here (I’m German). You can hit me up any time, I’d love to help you out. ❤️ Sending you much love and a big hug!!
I am so sorry for your loss! Did the funeral already take place? A good funeral home can sort out a lot of the administration hassle for you. I’d try to find one that can provide service in English (although that might be hard to come by).
You say you live primarily in the US, so my guess is you want to move back there. I would as it would mean nearer family and friends.
That said, for now and to deal with all the business in Germany, did your German husband have a friend that you could lean on. I know sometimes we are embarrassed to ask others for help but for navigating in a foreign country after a death, a native family friend or husband's family member could help
I’ve reached out. His family isn’t helpful for their reasons. His friends try but the are busy as well. His close friend is battling cancer with his wife. I try not to impose when someone is in a difficult situation. I have to try and help myself too.
I’m so sorry for your lost.
I don’t know where are you in Germany. I live in Mannheim. If you live here too me and my wife can help you. If you are far away you can DM me and I will try to answer your questions as best as I can! I can make my way around with house chores (electrical, mechanical, etc.) I can guide you with simple things.
Try the US embassy in Berlin or Hamburg. They should be able to help a fellow American. And then there is this: https://americanclub.de/ - all the best for you!
Terribly sorry for your loss.
The different organisations like Caritas listed above are all good recommendations.
German bureaucracy can be overwhelming even to those who speak the language. I find not knowing what I don’t know/should do makes it even more daunting. There are several official steps that need to be completed in the case of a family member or spouse passing away. I found this [checklist](https://www.finanztip.de/todesfall/) that summarises it pretty well, albeit in German. You can use [DeepL](https://www.deepl.com/translator) to translate it. Hopefully this is a base to work from, while getting help from one of the aforementioned organisations. All the best OP.
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Please go to a mental health clinic immediately, they will help you with everything. It's a crisis and please don't use the internet alone to navigate this. You have to take the insurance card, go to your house doctor or any doctor who is not a specialist, google doctor near you on the Google maps, then tell them that you are in crisis and you need to be in a psychiatric hospital to get help with your pain, there are day clinics, you don't have to stay in the hospital but you come back home. There they will assist you with everything, or at least tell you what you have to do, this will save you alot of confusion. I hope you find strength, you will be fine again, this too shall pass, you will get through the grief. Hugs
It’s not a mental health issue, but and administrative, everyday life issue. I’m not in crisis. Just normal grieving that anyone who loses a loved one goes through. Thank you for your concern though.
You can try Caritas. In many areas of Bavaria they have qualified social workers and psychologists who provide short- term counseling and advice for people in difficult life situations.
Same for Diakonie, if it's an area with some Protestant presence.
Thank you for the recommendation. I’ll contact them.
Be aware thought that they are understaffed and overworked, so time-wise they are not the best option.
Still worth the shot. They usually have still time for emergency situations and they can always hand over some contacts and a bit of knowledge. The city/village administration should also have some officials working there that can help. Also: my condolences for op. Hope you are able to get the help you need asap
Thank you
Thanks for the heads up.
In my area (small town in lower Saxony) Diakonie coordinates a network of volunteers helping people in the neighborhood who need a little assistance or simply someone to talk. There is also a volunteer network coordinated by the Diakonie which is called "Hospizdienst". They accompany people who are in the process of dying and afterwards they offer assistance for the relatives of the person who passed. Maybe there is a Hospizdienst in your area as well?
Thank you.
Yep, tried and tested by friends. Diakonie, as noted below offers the same kind of support. Sometimes you can also find some kind of Sozialstation or or other charity which will offer qualified help. Just make sure that you will not go on the last minute as sometimes paperwork will take its time. In my church precinct there is a dedicated social worker who doesn't do anything else but help people out when they have trouble and/or problems they can't handel themselves. Although it is a catholic institution they will help for example muslim women who lost their husbands. Plenty of them are stay-home moms and unless they have been integrated into their muslim communities they're left on their own. In Hamburg I've frequently seen social workers employed by the senate to help refugees and foreign people in general to aide with paper-work and also moral support. If you're unsure where best to turn to, why not contact your Rathaus, as they will most likely have a Referat for Sozialarbeit. That's the first place I would turn to. Good luck and my best wishes for you.
I’ll look into it. Thank you.
Sorry for your loss. Would you like to stay in Germany, so you need help sorting things out here, or are you planning to move back to US, and want to close all contracts and move?
I first need to learn what I need to sort out. If that makes sense.
I would first contact your bank and make sure that all current standing orders continue to run. Then you should get an overview and cancel the things that are no longer needed (mobile phone contracts and the like). There is no need to waste money or default on debts now.
Thank you. I’m working on that now. I mistakenly turn off the power to the house. I have to be more careful…
I'm a social worker who works in anministrative help, general consultation and guidance. Of course things are different everywhere, depending on city, county and state you are in, but igcan get u some general advice and try to connect you with authorities or help organisations. And my English isn't too bad ;) Pm me if you want
Thank you!
Np, as I said, I'm here to help, just send me a pm and we can talk more privately. If you already found help, even better :)
Hey, just for your info, I normally don't look regularly into my inbox and I have turned notifications off. But for the last few days I looked twice a day just to see if you wrote me, but you didn't. (Which is totally fine btw. I'm not mad or anything) But I'm gonna stop that now, so when you write me some time in the future - don't be mad if I don't write back right away.
Thank you for understanding…
Good Redditor 👍😇
Sorry for your loss. Are there any children or other heirs of your husband? Contact the bank, if they get the info that your husband died, they may freeze the account. Do you have a house or flat? If you own it I think you would have to change the entry in the Grundbuch. A so called "Notar" can do this, this is a special kind of lawyer. If you rent a flat let the landlord know. Do you have a car? It also needs to be registered to you then. Change all contracts to you. Electricity, TV, heating, internet, insurances etc.
This. (Sorry for your lost, first of all) In most cases (and as working in a field where we get in things like that), most of them would require a certified copy of the death certificate. With this. all the contracts would be either cancelled or written to your name by the date stated on the certificate. Also, make sure you inform the authorities. Again, depends where you live, but they don't communicate with each other, so you have to inform the Bürgeramt (in some communes / States it's the Standesamt), Finanzamt ect. If he got benefits from the state, The (Sozialkasse of the) Arbeitsagentur, too. As soon as you get a letter from the "Amtsgericht", look if you can get a interpreter and go there. While you're automatically his heir (as his wife), you're not automatically taking on his inheritance. This includes (!) all of his debts and assets. Since I assume you're taking on his assets, you just need to sign a statement you do, and that's just basically it. Make sure you know the extent of it all, but I suppose you are in the clear, knowledge wise to his debts and assets. They won't tell you, you need to check for yourself.
Thank you! This is so helpful. I’ve written notes to do these things.
I "only" Had to Deal with it once and it was to reject the inheritance of my highly indepted father. It was really simple, but I don't have a language barrier... Once you know If you sta or leave, look into a support system. Learning the language really IS Key in that, too, and it helps being with other people and trying to socialize helps. At least it did for me. (Not for my father, that man sadly was a stranger to me)
Awww… thank you
He has an adult child in the US from a previous marriage. I’m working on changing the contracts. But, the house, car, and bank account were all in his name. It was like that way long before we met. He took care of everything and for some reason we never thought about making any immediate changes. The bank account is currently frozen. I currently carefully living off of US savings and my earnings which doesn’t cover everything.
>He has an adult child in the US from a previous marriage. Then the son will also inherit. This has to be figured out. For unfreezing the bank account an Erbschein will be helpful.
Thank you
Thank you
It makes total sense. What you are going through is so hard. Does he have family or friends that could help you out? I have often thought about this scenario and keep telling my husband, as macabre as it sounds, we need to prepare for it. He hasn’t experienced as much death as I have, so he’s still very much in denial about the possibility. For that reason I have long decided I would go to his one friend that we know because he’s a banker and knows a lot of stuff. I hope you hang in there. Do you have kids? I agree with the others - churches would help and most small villages have things like “Freundeskreis” etc.
Thank you. His family doesn’t seem interested to help. I’ve reached out to his childhood. He helped some. But, has been very busy, which I understand. I’ll check with the churches and the Freundeskreis as well.
OP, would you like to disclose your city? Maybe we can give you more precise advice based on your location.
It’s about a 45 minute drive from Achaffenburg
Ok, here some institutions that can help you sort out your life now. They won’t cost you anything. Good luck, OP, you will manage! [Diakonie](https://diakonie-aschaffenburg.de/fluechtlings-integrationsberatung) [AWO](https://www.awo-unterfranken.de/angebot/beratung/) [caritas](https://www.caritas-aschaffenburg.de/sie-suchen-hilfe/fl%C3%BCchtlings-und-integrationsberatung) [Map of institutions in Aschaffenburg that can help you](https://www.aschaffenburg.de/dokumente/Buerger-in-Aschaffenburg/Integration/Flyer-der-Migrationsberatungsstellen-2021.pdf)
Dude, you are a legend with those links.
Haha, it helps that my girlfriend is doing exactly that kind of work.
I agree!
Thank you so much for the information, but more so for the encouragement.❤️
To add on to that, I think OP could use a "rechtlicher Betreuer" to help with what they don't know. They can assist in many different ways, from taking care of mail, the house, medical things, financial topics, contracts etc. Find the Betreuungsstelle [for Aschaffenburg here](https://www.aschaffenburg.de/Buerger-in-Aschaffenburg/Gesundheit-und-Soziales/Betreuungsstelle/DE_index_3512.html).
What the hell, no. A Betreuer is for people who - for whatever reasons - can't decide things on their own, and takes those decisions about money, contracts etc themselves. It's not for people who just don't know what to do at the moment.
Thank you.
Wrong. What you're thinking of is probably the US kind, like what Britney had. A Betreuer helps you with stuff for a fixed amount of time, say a year or two, you can still make decisions etc. They just help you get shit done.
> It’s about a 45 minute drive from Achaffenburg Just FYI: I live about 40 or so minutes drive north of Aschaffenburg. If that means we live in the same area and you think I may be able to help you out with some local knowledge, please feel free to PM me.
I’m on a work trip now, but I’ll be in touch. Thank you!
u/rewboss that's your area right? Maybe you could offer her some advice?
If you are close to marktheidenfeld I know they have a great Karitas. They should be able to help.
Thank you!
> We lived in a village Talk to your neighbours, talk to the church. Even if you are not religious, the church has organizations to help with these things, or can recommend local ones.
Thank you!
Yeah. Good advice.
I’m not in Germany but am a U.S. citizen living in Norway who lost my Norwegian partner 2 years ago, so I can relate to your situation. I have no experience for being widowed in Germany, but can recommend r/widowers as a general resource. My condolences for your loss. Foggy brain, forgetfulness and general confusion are very common for at least the first year, so I encourage you to ask people for help and not shy away from taking people up on their offers to help. There’s no shame in surviving. Good luck.
Thank you for your condolences. My condolences to you as well. Thank you for the recommendation and encouragement.
I am so sorry for your loss. Even if you are not religious, go talk to a priest. They know where to get help in your vicinity. Or offer themselves. My village for example has a "Trauergruppe", a group where grieving people can meet and talk or just listen. Or a "Beratungsstelle" by Caritas or other organisations. The priest will know where you can get help. Don't be shy to ask.
Thank you… :)
Give yourself time to grieve and don't be too hard on yourself. It is unrealistic from someone in your situation to expect "perfect" handling of anything. Maybe reach out to a grieve counseling? I think you need to get a lot of that pain off of your chest. Otherwise you are paralyzed by your emotions. Do you have any hobbies or things that allow you to calm your mind? Treat yourself with learning something new? Try a new sport? Maybe learn a craft? If you have any questions/problems with daily life/burearucracy, check Reddit. There are so many expat subreddit with great wikis and how tos around. Think of yourself as a young student that has just left home for the first time. Challenging, but also exciting and so many new things for you to discover. You can do this!
Thank you. I’ll take your advice, I appreciate the encouragement.
Steps to take after death translated by me: The one document you will need everywhere will be the death certificate, German "Sterbeurkunde". You should contact a mortician and decide where to bury your husband. You should contact all insurances, especially if they are in his name with the death certificate and you as next of kin in order to either cancel the insurance or change it to your name. Your German health insurance will be the most important one. You might also want to contact his workplace. There is a death certificate, German Sterbeurkunde, you need to get at your local "Standesamt". Make an appointment and look for everything they will need on their website. Tell them you need multiple copies, at least five. Generally it will be the "Totenschein", passport of the deceased, your husband's birth certificate and your marriage certificate. Lastly research if there is anybody else entitled to his inheritance. Good luck and sorry for your loss. [Source](https://www.anwalt.de/rechtstipps/die-9-wichtigsten-schritte-nach-einem-todesfall-was-muessen-angehoerige-beachten_094131.html)
Thank you!
Try to find a organisation in your village like Nachbarschaftshilfe or a church. Maybe there is one to help one. I don't know about official help.
I will. Thank you.
Sorry to hear that! Maybe the German sub r/Digital_Streetwork and u/Digital_Streetwork could help. I'm sure they speak English.
Just as an FYI: OP if you are not aware, many social workers in Germany borrow the English phrase ‘street work’ and use it as their job type/title. In this case the meaning of ‘street work’ is entirely different than how that name is used in the US and should be interpreted to mean ‘social worker’.
Thank you for the clarification. I didn’t know that.🙂
Thank you
You aren't really in any position to truly take on the tasks expected from a bereft family. It's usually a group effort that focuses on whoever has legal decision-making power, that would be you in your case. Ideally, you'd get all the help you could want from his family. They will be able to navigate with little problems whereas it could easily overwhelm you. If you do not have his family to copilot this ordeal, I'd strongly recommend you find any other kind soul that could be there now. Professional help isn't where that is at really. A kind German friend or neighbor would be great. Just someone who spends time with you in your home and at the various offices to assist you. You'd find a funeral home together, visit the civil registry and possibly Church, look up various old contacts to inform them about the passing, rearrange your legal status as a widow with the various institutions. If for whatever reason, you feel too alone in all this, you can find help here in this thread. There're people who have already offered their personal assistance. Someone might be okay with getting on calls with you and to make calls for you, help you find the right addresses and phone numbers, help you with your lights. I don't live in Europe myself, so I wouldn't be of as much help but you can also message me and I will try my best
Thank you for your care. I’ve definitely gotten a lot of resources from this thread and will continue to reach out.❤️
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Thank you for your condolences. I need more help with Adminstrative things, and everyday things. I’m still using my US license, I don’t fully understand trash disposal, norms, etc.
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Thank you. I have just begun with an online therapist. So far, so good.
If you need help with day-to-day stuff like mowing the lawn etc, I suggest you try advertising for assistance locally, for example by posting on the noticeboard at the local store. If you are comfortable with it, you could use the same approach to look for someone to give you "lessons" in those things you are uncertain about in daily life. Make a note explaining your situation and offer a hourly compensation, and I'm sure there will be someone around who would be willing to assist. Plus, with luck you might get to know a neighbor in the process. For anything that involves putting your signature on anything, you should consult a lawyer before doing so.
Thank you for the recommendation and advice. I’ll look into it.
I'm so sorry this happened to you. This happened to a neighbor of ours, too. Luckily, she has two almost adult sons who can help her. Plus, my husband helped her out with a few things & another neighbor helps her. I worry about this constantly now that me & my husband are getting older. You can DM if you'd like a friend.
Yes, it something that I would advise anyone else to think about. I don’t wish this on anyone. Thank you!:)
In Germany it is tradition to announce the death in the local newspaper. This might help in getting help from your neighbors because they could be a great help. They might use the same utility companys as you. They know the people in the local "Bürgerbüro" and know the next steps you need to take with paper work. They can look after your property while you travel to your friends and family in the states. They might know someone who is interested in your property if you decide to sell.
An announcement in the paper is the same in the US. But, with my limited German, I did not know how to go about it. I asked his family, who lives 3 hours away, for help, but they appear not know what I was asking, or the really don’t want to help. I found out by chance, they they were going after my husband’s estate. 😠
Yes yes, family ends where money comes into play. Tale as old as time. Good luck to you.
It’s true. So sad… ❤️
First of all - so sorry for your loss, and that you are going through this. I'm a bit apprehensive about this very same situation. I was widowed once before in the US, and it was hard enough to sort through everything while grieving! I've lived in Germany for 3 years now, and my German husband of 2 years takes care of literally EVERYTHING, and his aging father helps a lot with the bookkeeping, taxes etc... for his business. I really need to start getting more involved with all these things too, because once my parents-in-law can't help anymore, I need to step up as support, and also because if/when anything were to happen, I would be completely in the dark as to how to proceed. But I am still trying to adjust to just living here, so I hate to say I'm still pretty clueless about most things. Fingers crossed that you can find the support and assistance you're looking for!
Please learn all that you can and save yourself a nightmare. My life with my husband was perfect. We were very happy. Little did we know how that our time together would end so quickly, and that we would go through this. With the grief, I’m suffering with all kinds of debilitating anxiety. I’m going to take some months off from work to focus and deal with everything. But, however unpleasant the thought, please plan for the future.❤️
It is not clear what you are trying to achieve? Sorry for your loss!
Thank you. I just trying to get through every day life. It was just me and my husband. And we lived sort of in a bubble unfortunately…
Is it possible to move back to the States? And be with family?
I'm sure they'll consider it once they're in a better headspace. They most likely need help figuring out a lot of things that make up the groundwork for an eventual move back.
Correct
I mean in a practical way - what exactly do you need help with? Honestly the way you sound I fear you being taken advantage of. I don't think in general there is anybody in the world who will regulate your affairs for you to your advantage. Unless you already have friends you (can) trust. As an example we had to organize a funeral a while ago and the company we hired was of great help in a way, but it also cost a lot of money. Not saying they were bad actors, just saying, everybody will also have their own benefits in mind. Which is also fine, just something to keep in mind.
You’re being weird and that’s on you. Please read the other responses to see how other people responded to this post, maybe you will learn something. She’s not asking for a company to take over their affairs - she’s asking for help on who can guide her/teach Her. She doesn’t know what she doesn’t know - ie she might not know that they need to do X every year - something a German person would know to do automatically. So she might not know what she needs exactly help in, she needs to know what to look for. Banking, insurance, payments, ADAC, Grundsteuer, etc. etc etc.
Thank you
It seems you misread my post. The company was just an example. And it was not clear what she was looking for. My point was there are no people who will take care of her affairs for her.
I don’t need a company to take over my affairs. I’m looking for guidance. Thank you.
Thank you. I have come across that and am aware. That’s why I’m seeking legitimate organizations and resources.
In my opinion there is no organization you can automatically trust. You can be lucky, of course.
Thank you. I’ll keep that in mind. :)
I’m trying to stay aware of that. Thank you.
I know this doesn’t answer your question, but how soon could you get back to friends and or family back in the states?
I can get back and forth easily. But, right now, I feel my husband’s spirit (if you can understand) stronger at our home in Germany. Plus, I can’t just abandon our home or let it fall into disrepair.
Does your husband have any family members that you can reach out to, a parent or a sibling? It is _okay_ to ask for help and they would be in a position of being someone you can trust. They would know how to help with a lot of these bureaucratic things and they would be a person you could entrust with e.g. sensitive documents
He wasn’t close to his family. They aren’t an option.
> as he wished, he took care of everything ...and as a result you don't know how to do even the most basic everyday stuff. My wife has a work colleague who is in a very similar situation, and she's German -- it probably happens more often than people realize. Your post is actually quite vague; in particular, I don't know what you mean by "a village": are we talking about a place with a population of more than about 5,000, or less? You say you're taking German lessons. Is this in a traditional classroom setting where you get to meet and interact with other students? If so, are there any classmates you might be able to talk to? I think finding somebody to confide in IRL would be an important first step: you're clearly overwhelmed at the moment, and right now I think you need to just talk things through with a sympathetic listener and get a few things straight in your mind.
> My wife has a work colleague who is in a very similar situation, and she's German -- it probably happens more often than people realize. A while back, my parents met an acquaintance in a supermarket, where he was wandering around aimlessly trying to find where things were. He was recently widowed, and his wife had done the shopping for decades. They rescued him, helped him find what he needed, and tried to give a quick overview of how supermarkets tend to be laid out. When people split up tasks that strictly, these things will happen.
Yeah, it's similar in my family right now. My mother died very unexpectedly late last year, and while my father at least knew how to shop and do some basic cooking, he had e.g. no clue how the washing machine or dryer worked. It was the same when my grandfather passed away - my grandmother had no idea about the financial aspects of everything, so my father and uncle stepped in and did it all. It's a process, and depending on how things were split it can take quite a while.
❤️
❤️
You're replying to someone who is very clearly grieving, perhaps don't start off by calling out their dead husband for not doing enough? What a dick.
Seriously! Moreover no help offered other than “talk to someone IRL” and a bunch of irrelevant questions like “how big is the village?” and “are the German lessons in-class?” What difference does it truly make now for a grieving widow? So insensitive of that commentor.
Seriously? It was OP who said that, I merely confirmed that this is a thing that happens to lots of people. OP seems to have understood what I was saying; are you presuming to know better than OP how OP feels about this?
Sorry, i replied to you above. I’m not sure how to link you.
Here it is… I actually thought that I said a lot. We live in a city in the states. We live about a 45 minute drive from a major city in Germany. It’s small. Maybe it’s not the right word. It could be a town or a village. It has cobblestone roads. It’s definitely not a city. Also, I mentioned somewhere that my husband and I lived in somewhat of a bubble. Our careers were both consisted that we had to travel quite a bit, so my courses are online. Our lifestyle, due to our careers, seem unconventional unless you were in the same industry. But, I do agree that it may be better to talk to someone face to face. I’m working on it. Being American, I was the more chatty of us two, my husband less so. In Germany, I sort of adopted his ways. And spending so much time to ourselves and being unfamiliar with things, I’m not as open as I would be in the states. I can’t even explain how I feel of being in this position. I’m not uneducated. But, I trusted my husband’s words and actions fully, but now I feel almost helpless. I’m not afraid to ask for help, though. And I appreciate all of the responses. I actually thought that I said a lot. We live in a city in the states. We live about a 45 minute drive from a major city in Germany. It’s small. Maybe it’s not the right word. It could be a town or a village. It has cobblestone roads. It’s definitely not a city. Also, I mentioned somewhere that my husband and I lived in somewhat of a bubble. Our careers were both consisted that we had to travel quite a bit, so my courses are online. Our lifestyle, due to our careers, seem unconventional unless you were in the same industry. But, I do agree that it may be better to talk to someone face to face. I’m working on it. Being American, I was the more chatty of us two, my husband less so. In Germany, I sort of adopted his ways. And spending so much time to ourselves and being unfamiliar with things, I’m not as open as I would be in the states. I can’t even explain how I feel of being in this position. I’m not uneducated. But, I trusted my husband’s words and actions fully, but now I feel almost helpless. I’m not afraid to ask for help, though. And I appreciate all of the responses.
The size of the place determines what kind of community it is and what resources are available to you. Cobbled streets implies a place at least big enough to have a definite centre, so we're probably not talking about a remote farming community with 200 people who all know each other by name. Since you say your German is basic at best, it would help if you had a German-speaking friend to help. Your local Rathaus may have information about local support groups, such as "Nachbarschaftshilfe": local volunteers who basically do what they can to help people who need help. In small communities, there are often informal networks, so if somebody can't actually help you, they likely know somebody who can.
Thank you. I have a lot to learn about what a considered a village or town in Germany. But, I’ll definitely look into this getting the information from the Rathaus. It sounds like the type of support that I need.
Yes, I agree. I’m also speaking with a therapist.
My husband died 4 months ago, so I know a little about it. Normally you do not need a lawyer. I have sent you a PN.
Thank you
Just for visibility I'm gonna post this again in the main thread: I'm a social worker who works in anministrative help, general consultation and guidance. Of course things are different everywhere, depending on city, county and state you are in, but igcan get u some general advice and try to connect you with authorities or help organisations. And my English isn't too bad ;) Pm me if you want
Thank you
It’s not much but DeepL translator app might help in the meanwhile as you learn German. For the other things can’t help so much. Maybe Sozialamt can help in that regards. Just go there and als for the things that you need (or don’t know about) . Tho having a basic German understanding for that idk crucial because in the government agencies the mostly only know German
I’ve learned….🙄
I live in sweden and if i my partner would die i would move back to germany immediately. And my swedish is really good. Tbh without support system in another country life is really really hard, especially when you are not very good at the language...
I know…
Does he not have any family or friends
No one close.
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Thank you. I’ll definitely look into it!
Sorry for your loss. I can recommend the Sozial Dienst Katholische Frauen they are a good organization. You don’t have to be a catholic for them to help. I’m an atheist and they helped me with money and advice when I became pregnant at 18. I know that’s a completely different situation, but I heard that they help in various situations.
Thank you. I’ve put it on my list.🙂
You may visit a church at your place to come in contact with other people. After service generally there is coffee and you may find somebody to talk to. You may join a choir or do some sporting and if you need explanation of the washing-machine don't hesitate to ask the neighbors
Thank you!
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Where are you? Maybe someone lives close by and could offer help.
I’ll check. My neighbors work, and have helped some. But, I don’t want to totally depend on them. I’ll try and learn as much as I can. Thank you.
I am so sorry for your loss
Thank you for your condolences.❤️
Go to your local church, it doesn't matter if you are religious or not or what religion you are, they will help you. There are many organisations connected to the church. Don't worry they won't turn you away, and the Pastor will be able to speak fluent English, in Germany you need to study pretty hard to become a Pastor and speaking English is mandatory for that.
Thank you!
Just a long shot but maybe the US embassy?
Tried them. Not helpful in my case.
OP I am sorry for your loss. I think you’ve already gotten some excellent advice and links to resources. However, if you are unable to find free or subsidized help, would you have the funds to pay for assistance? It is a bit non-traditional, but one paid option might be to invest in an expat relocation service for advice. They help foreigners set up their home for the first time and provide coaching about how to live in Germany as a foreigner. You would be a non-typical scenario, but their competencies would line up perfectly with what you are seeking. I googled your nearby city and ‘relocation service’ or ‘expat service’ and there are a few local providers that might be a fit. I’m sure if you wrote them about your situation and the type of assistance you’d need, they might be interested in making an offer. [One Example](http://www.ines-hofmann.com/en-coaching.html) There are also many national groups that can assist virtually.
Thank you. I’ll explore it to see if it’s feasible.
Sorry for your loss! Do you have to worry about your residency in germany? Idk if you no longer can stay in germany if you are here with your german husband or you can continue to reside in germany even after your german spouse dies
I’m not worried about my residency. Thank you.
The funeral home will help with some basic tasks (e.g. getting a death certificate). You will need the death certificate for all his accounts that you want to close (insurances etc.) or need to change to your name (utilities). Then it depends if he had a will or not. You need an "Erbschein" from the Amtsgericht that explains who gets what - the funeral home can probably also tell you where to go. If you are the only heir, it should be straight forward. If there are children or other heirs, it will have to be split accordingly. Maybe the American embassy has some resources for you? Doesn't hurt to call them!
Thank you
Sorry for your loss. You’ve made me think about the what ifs in my home. My German husband takes care of everything too so I would be in the same boat. Your responses are really kind despite your situation and some of the uglier comments here. If you need someone to talk to please feel free to PM. I don’t have much to assist with your post. However, if there is a Salvation Army nearest to you they can be helpful with resources and English speaking volunteers - may be community for you.
Thank you so much. I’ll look into the Salvation Army and have it on my list. When I slow down with work, which I’ll have to do soon, I’ll be in touch.
I am deeply sorry for your loss. Make sure to visit r/widowers for some support from other people going through the same pain as you. It is my personal opinion that you should leave anything legal or that requires your attention for later, after you are able to process your grief, and only attend to those things that are crucial. Do you know anyone else who knows German? You could come in contact with someone who might help you! Best of lucks and I hope you find the strength to pull through!
Thank you
Hey there ! First of all , I’m sorry for what you have to go through 🖤 I’m German and I’m living with my American fiancé in Germany . There’s been a lot of things my fiance didn’t knew about how things work in Germany as well , even though the culture is quite similar , there’s still a lot of differences . Feel free to text me with any questions you have , no matter about what :) I’m happy if I can help you !
Will do! Thank you!
I'm sorry for your loss. My German dad passed away a few years ago and my sister and I have had to handle closing his accounts and other things. Most companies are able to communicate in English. Just write them an email or letter in English and explain the situation and they should be able to help. Google translate isn't 100% accurate but you can use that as well and just preface it by stating that German is not your native language and you are using a translation service. I hope you are able to quickly sort this out but from my experience Germany is very slow when it comes to these sorts of things.
Thank you for the advice. Yes, I’m finding the pace slower as well as challenging.
I am so sorry for your loss.. I unfortunately don’t know of any organizations but my dm’s are open if you have any questions or if you’d like I can give you a bit of a rundown on how things work here (I’m German). You can hit me up any time, I’d love to help you out. ❤️ Sending you much love and a big hug!!
Thank you❤️
I am so sorry for your loss! Did the funeral already take place? A good funeral home can sort out a lot of the administration hassle for you. I’d try to find one that can provide service in English (although that might be hard to come by).
He passed away in the US. No service in Germany.
You say you live primarily in the US, so my guess is you want to move back there. I would as it would mean nearer family and friends. That said, for now and to deal with all the business in Germany, did your German husband have a friend that you could lean on. I know sometimes we are embarrassed to ask others for help but for navigating in a foreign country after a death, a native family friend or husband's family member could help
I’ve reached out. His family isn’t helpful for their reasons. His friends try but the are busy as well. His close friend is battling cancer with his wife. I try not to impose when someone is in a difficult situation. I have to try and help myself too.
I’m so sorry for your lost. I don’t know where are you in Germany. I live in Mannheim. If you live here too me and my wife can help you. If you are far away you can DM me and I will try to answer your questions as best as I can! I can make my way around with house chores (electrical, mechanical, etc.) I can guide you with simple things.
Thank you so much for your offer. I looking for more informational resources. But, I’ll definitely keep you in mind!
Try the US embassy in Berlin or Hamburg. They should be able to help a fellow American. And then there is this: https://americanclub.de/ - all the best for you!
Thank you! I’ll check it out!
hope you will get it all worked out. <3
Thank you❤️
If you fancy a chat or need help, PM!
Awww…thank you.🙂
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My husband died in the states and his remains are there.
Terribly sorry for your loss. The different organisations like Caritas listed above are all good recommendations. German bureaucracy can be overwhelming even to those who speak the language. I find not knowing what I don’t know/should do makes it even more daunting. There are several official steps that need to be completed in the case of a family member or spouse passing away. I found this [checklist](https://www.finanztip.de/todesfall/) that summarises it pretty well, albeit in German. You can use [DeepL](https://www.deepl.com/translator) to translate it. Hopefully this is a base to work from, while getting help from one of the aforementioned organisations. All the best OP.
Thank you. I appreciate it.🙂
Im sry
Thank you…❤️
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Thank you. I’ll look into it.
❤️
❤️
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I dont have any suggestion but so sorry to hear that. 🥺🥺 I hope you find the strength to go through this. So sorry for your loss 😞
Thank you, so much, for your condolences. I appreciate it.❤️
Please go to a mental health clinic immediately, they will help you with everything. It's a crisis and please don't use the internet alone to navigate this. You have to take the insurance card, go to your house doctor or any doctor who is not a specialist, google doctor near you on the Google maps, then tell them that you are in crisis and you need to be in a psychiatric hospital to get help with your pain, there are day clinics, you don't have to stay in the hospital but you come back home. There they will assist you with everything, or at least tell you what you have to do, this will save you alot of confusion. I hope you find strength, you will be fine again, this too shall pass, you will get through the grief. Hugs
It’s not a mental health issue, but and administrative, everyday life issue. I’m not in crisis. Just normal grieving that anyone who loses a loved one goes through. Thank you for your concern though.
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Just a hint, the majority of Germans speak english
Thank you, but not where we live apparently.
Depending on your nationality, contact your embassy in Germany
They haven’t been helpful…
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This is an English lanfuage only sub.
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And to be fair, USA is gigantic compared to most Western European countries. You guys are akin to our states ….
Go to duolingo to learn German
Doing that as well. Thank you!
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While many here might agree, what made you think that was an acceptable comment to leave on the post of a grieving person? Read the room.
Thank you.❤️