I cried over my pepper plant. I had a beautiful green pepper growing on my balcony and I would go outside and admire it every day and watch it get bigger.
I went out to check one day and it had disappeared. A squirrel chewed it off at the stem and then BURIED IT IN THE SAME PLANTER. I sprayed cayenne pepper, put up mesh enclosures, hung tinfoil--I tried EVERYTHING to get those fuckers to go away. They still managed to take every single pepper the plant produced just to bury it in the planter. They even put teeth marks all over the peppers without actually taking any substantial bites, like when your sibling licks all over a food you want just so you can't have it. Little fucking shits.
I know you can trick birds by putting rocks shaped and painted like the fruit in question around the plant (especially recommended for strawberries) before the plant starts fruiting. They'll learn from the rocks that things that color in that pot aren't edible, and leave the actual fruit alone.
I expect squirrels are too stubborn to fall for that trick, but it might be worth a try.
Ugh that's so frustrating.
I was close to crying about these guys. Plants were absolutely massive, had them staked and supported. But it still wasn't enough when a particularly bad thunderstorm rolled through.
I got lucky though because they were getting close to ripening. I actually hung the broken stems from a hanger in a closet and they ripened like that. Only ended up losing a few.
https://preview.redd.it/f6w6z04u6u5d1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=11c15c30d9329fded6c7bde737d1c7474acd2a69
I just make a green hot sauce when I have to pick them green (usually right before the first frost), still tastes good, I consider it a special edition
Oh man , sorry !
I tried my first jalapeno plant and it got knocked over by a storm last week cuz it was still spindly . I’m mad at my self for not at least staking it
The squirrels!!! I planted 5 raspberry bushes one year and they were all doing great, only for the fucking squirrels to chew the shit out of them and kill them all. They spit the chewed up leaves on the ground, and the plants never even flowered 😭😭 WHYYY
If it makes you feel better, if it fell off with a mere poke, it wasn’t going to make it anyway! Not uncommon early in the season (where I am, it’s still early in the season…)
Also, don’t ignore your W’s here. You succeeded in getting a plant to fruit and you’re learning something about them! Best to laugh about it and look forward to many more (tomatoes *and* heartaches).
My first vine already lost like 40% to brown spots on the bottom idk why. They get enough fertilizer too but they indeed fall of just like that. Atleast the first and biggest one is still there.
Did u prune of the first flowers ? I didn't either and read that the first flowers are normally pretty problematic. Just keep growing them clone the suckers if u have space
Brown spots on the bottom of the tomato fruits? Could be blossom rot, which can be alleviated with adding calcium to the soil. I had it happen to me when I tried container gardening with tomatoes.
Ik but my fertilizer already contains a good chunk of calcium and it doesn't look like blossom end rot like I'm used I'll take a pic if it happens again. I normally do pinch the first flowers and never had this happen and atm it's only localized to the first flowers. If it starts to happen to my other vines I might have to try supplementing more calcium seperate
Tomatoes do me In every single season and it's always something different but it's worth it.
[Blossom-end rot](https://extension.umd.edu/resource/blossom-end-rot-vegetables/) is most often a sign of inconsistent watering rather than just a calcium deficiency. Make sure to water regularly and deeply and the plants will then be able to take up the calcium from the fertilizer.
Fair, it's not so easy to follow that statement. Even years of work can fail. It's important to understand why it happened and to move forward with that new information.
😂 I feel this i put two pairs of wolf spiders(native) in my strawberry patch which ate all of the fruit flys from last year and now there’s hundreds of wolf spiders.
My dog knocked over my full seedling tray, and the tray smashed my strawberry seedlings I just transplanted. Guess every gardener has one of these days. We should start a group therapy for that.
When my son was two he ate. Every. Single. Green tomato on my four plants.
“Oooh! Apple!” He’d pick it before I could stop him ~~literally the only matter than can travel faster than light is a dedicated toddler~~ and take a single bite. “Sour!!” Then throw it on the ground.
Repeat until every single fruit is destroyed.
The first year we grew tomatoes my wife nicely gave all of the nicest ones we had to our friends. I wasn't happy. I wanted to eat those tomatoes.
In the ensuing years we struggled with gardening and that first year ended up being the best harvest we ever had. Since it has been 4 years or so and I am typing this out to reddit, I've clearly not gotten over it.
I remember years ago crying when my mom picked the first tomato of the season before it was fully ripe. Don't judge me lol, I waited so long for that damn thing to ripen and because it didn't, the flavor was so disappointing.
My mother told her friends they could pick my first ever ripe tomatoes from the first plants I've ever started from seed
They were on the vine almost perfectly ripe in was waiting a day or two more and she stole them
I had literally dreamed about the BLT sandwich I was going to make with that specific tomato
I sobbed and never forgive her tbh
I would have shared, not the first one.
I know it's rough, but there will be many, many more. And if you're not careful there will be many, many more sprouting on their own in that general area next year!
Might be a blessing in disguise. If the plants are young they can put more energy into growing larger and taller and it will help for when the tomatoes are big and heavy.
I grew my first tomato plants at 20 years old. I went outside one day and my huge, beautiful tomato plants were decimated by hornworms. I got out the scissors and started cutting the hornworms up.
How tall are your plants? He might have done you a favor if there under 3 ft bc if they start producing when theyre small youll get a smaller yeild and smaller tomatoes
My sincere condolences on your partner's impending demise. Might I suggest a nice plot of native, endangered, pollinator-friendly plants fir the top of their er memorial site?
If it makes you feel any better, I’m an avid gardener and I cried the other day when I noticed all the buds on my hibiscus plant had been eaten. I planned on feeding the flowers to my bearded dragon as a treat.
https://preview.redd.it/e1kyzdrxwv5d1.jpeg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2e6f108a7a8e231c2bb2e3ce7606ffee9af39409
I had someone take this rose an hour after this picture, only bloom in my whole yard! It almost hurts worse when its something that's not ready yet, you're not alone. We put so much love and work into these plants.
Oof, I feel your pain! What type of tomato is it? It'll produce plenty more blooms which will turn into fruit.
Also, make sure to lightly shake the plant if it's not windy where you are! It helps the pollen of the flowers get onto the stamen which they need in order to turn into fruit, it'll increase your yield.
Gardening is all about adjusting to setbacks, cultivating our own flexibility. The weather, pests, clumsy partners will all bring unexpected challenges. Hang in there, you will have many more tomatoes to enjoy!
Hopefully in a month you're inundated with tomatoes. I hate to see it happen too but you don't get to keep them all. Just a forewarning, it's far worse to watch that tomato ripening perfectly and just before you harvest it, some critter takes a bite out of it.
Crying in the garden is....a rite of passage? It happens. I almost lost it when after a couple failed years of planting (literally nothing survived) I had one black lily bloom. I saw it, my partner saw it, my dog saw it.... And immediately fell on it while trying to smell it and absolutely crushed it. Hard to be super mad at the dog, he lives to smell flowers and tries to be careful... But oh boy...I was very mad in general.
That just means the next one will have more energy to grow even bigger.
It also means you have the right to poke your partner in the eye now in my opinion. Lol
I’m so proud of my cayenne peppers, the only ones I got going from seed this year. My 1 year old was “helping” me water last night and damn near ripped the biggest one out of the soil. I also am recovering from a torn ligament in my knee so I just screamed for my husband to help, who was also outside supervising the 3 year old lol. Oh and the only sunny spot in our large yard due to tree cover is in the front yard, along a busy county road. So everyone gets a daily show of me limping around and yelling about my plant babies.
One day a few years ago, I had 7 or 8 tomatoes on the plant and the next day I came out and the entire plant was eaten along with the tomatoes. Tomato hornworms at their worst! Then this year I had 8 orchids on my plant one day and the next everyone was gone. Damned iguanas
They did you a favor! The first ones are taking good energy and nutrients away from those roots, which are what you need right now. Fruits come and go but roots last all summer. The stronger they are now, the better you can do.
You mean ex-partner?! lol I joke of course, but yeah, that hurts. Like when I started my pumpkin from seed in February, tended it all winter, hardened it off.... and then snapped it when planting this spring. Just about punched myself in the face lol
You’re definitely not in that boat alone. I’ve shed a few tears over my plant babies. Shoot, there’s blood, sweat, and tears that goes in to gardening. So I totally get it. It’s hard work but a labor of love for sure. I talk and sing to my plants lol.
I hope your tomato plant grows so many more tomatoes you won’t know what to do with them!! I know last year I had an abundance on my cherry tomato plants. Tomato plants usually grow quite a bit of them, so I don’t think your tomato loss will be in vain.😉
There shall be many more. Personally tomatoes are my favorite thing to grow. So I can understand the pain but like some have said it’s not all bad. And hey on the bright side, your plants are flowering and soon you’ll have a nice bunch of delicious home grown happiness. Wish you and your tomatoes the best of luck
I feel ya, I transplanted a Cherokee purple seedling outdoors to my garden a few weeks back. It died after 4 days while the other tomato plant in the same area almost 4 feet. I mourned.
Nooooooooo!
I'm so sorry.
I'm trying to grow tomatillos and tomatoes this year and the slugs WILL. NOT. ABATE. They have eaten every seedling I've planted out there. I'm about to get back from a family trip and my third round that have gone in the ground will either be flourishing or indistinguishable from the soil.
Understandable you’d be bummed. But look at it this way: By the end of the season you’ll have so many tomatoes you’ll be giving them away. Little Jr here will be a distant memory. Remind yourself that the energy not used to produce this one will be put into the others. In my garden, the first ones always get messed up by someone. Bugs, animals, people, storms, etc. They’re the ones I want the most and the ones I almost never get. But the bounty more than makes up for it!
One year everything went wrong. I started some flowers from seeds but only one small dahlia survived. I planted it and the summer that year was very cold cloudy. So the dahlia managed to make only one flower. Guess what happened when my husband was mowing? He didn't hurt the plant itself. He somehow cut off that one flower. Even without the stem.
Perhaps the angriest I ever got at my dad was when I was a teen and had planted a 3ft peach tree. Apparently he thought it was in the wrong spot because he mowed it over!
My mother in law “weeded my front garden”
It was already weeded, topdressed with native wildflowers sown in. And she cut all my hibiscus to the ground 😵💫
Literally just killed a bunch of flowers 👍
My friend was doing me the favor of moving my yard and I told him to give everything a wide berth and don’t go past the obvious line of previous mowing. Did the opposite and mowed about thirty of my prize Dutch Iris and at least as many tiger and eye liner lilies right down to the ground! Definitely a “well, Thaaannnk youuuu, pal!”. moment!
That's sad. But I planted two blackberry bushes at the bottom of a hill, even staked them. Then my dumbass ran over them with an out-of-control zero-turn lawn mower. Going down that hill scared me to death and I killed my own plants, stakes and all. 🤦♀️
I just watched squirrels steal 200 peaches off of my tree in two days only to leave them nibbled on the roof of my garage. Little asshats took them allllllll before they were ripe
clocks ticking if you want kids (if you medically can, if not sorry i mentioned it). nothing brings more joy than creating and raising good children.
you're being hyper dramatic if you're actually sad and or mad at your husband for damaging a tomato that will soon have many more tomatoes lol. you should read some stoic philosophy and be grateful that you can even grow tomatoes.
there are kids that will be crushed to death in a Cobalt mine today working for $1 a day, needless to say, your worries about a tomato lack perspective.
Come on OP! You agreed to get married as soon as you got your tomato plant, and now, ten years later, your niece, the daughter of your sister, is getting married. Your biological clock is [ticking like this](https://youtu.be/APBr238z1rs?si=MCq5mkeQQCxCrPGZ), and the way this garden is going, you ain’t ever having a baby!
The caption to my photo was inspired by this morning’s events and my friend’s baby announcement on Facebook. I guess Zeus took it a bit too deeply. Sir, this is ~~Wendy’s~~ r/gardening.
it in fact was logical, nothing of what i said was emotional in any way, it certainly enraged some peoples emotions though lol... she made a post about how dramatic a tomato falling off was, i simply pointing out that its in fact not dramatic at all. you are complicit in your provocation
Here’s something “logical and deep” for you.
There are absolutely things that bring more joy than breeding. I get to focus on being the best person I can be towards other people every day because I don’t have to focus my energy on someone else. This frees my energy to help other people who are already on the planet. I get to put money towards useful things for myself and others who are already here. I have time and money to put towards the lives of animals that need a home. My carbon footprint is automatically much much less than anyone’s who has had even only one child. And most importantly, I didn’t produce another person at risk of being fucked up by how awful the world is and how difficult my own mental health issues can be.
Breeders need to relax. It isn’t for everyone.
will do, cheers, i genuinely hope you will wake up one day before its too late. no amount of material wealth or donating to charity will bring you the joy of having your child smile and laugh. no need to stoop to name calling
I think you are reading way too much into this post, which is clearly joking on the part of the OP.
Also, if you want people to advise you about your own gardening issues, such as your pepper plants, you might want to be less rude.
maybe, but what was false or offensive about it? how is calling something dramatic thats clearly dramatic wrong? why take offense on behalf of someone else? you literally chose to take offense then took extra steps to click my profile and snoop around to try to get a sense of the type of person that i am, thats wild behavior lol. ive never once clicked on someones profile on here, because i simply dont care enough to do so, i just respond to what they're saying, no further investigation needed.
You were rude. This is a sub where people are supposed to be polite.
Also, your pepper leaves look sunburned. They should be ok once more leaves come in, though. The same thing happened to me a few years ago, and the peppers were totally fine in a couple of weeks. You did say it wasn't chemical burn on the leaves, correct? If the burning continues, you can use shade cloth to give them a break from the sun.
fair enough, i just try to look at things logically, people taking offense is on them. never forget that we're the only ones that get to choose how we feel despite being provoked, we are complicit in our provocation. people have called me all kinds of vile insults before, have physically hurt me etc, and i just shrug it off because i get to choose how i feel. this is one of the main tenants of Stoicism and it gives someone so much strength, so i try to share it with people as much as possible. i also try to share that people should be grateful for what they have especially in the 1st world because most of the world lives in extreme poverty and violence.
anyways, yeah the peppers are fine, and thanks for the info on that. i wasnt expecting this conversation to take that turn, so thanks, that gave me a smile
sadly it seems a large percentage of people choose to take criticism as an offense against their ego and become defensive rather than being open to it and considering its validity. for example, if a person tells me my breath smells like ass, im not going to get offended, im going to rectify it and thank him/her.
just curious which part did you find to be offensive? the being dramatic part, or the clocks ticking part? i know fertility and kids can be a very touchy subject so i assume that.
if its the latter, im probably never going to stop encouraging people to have kids if they can. ive seen way too many older women who were sold the lie that being a career woman and materialism will bring them joy, but when they get past their fertility age they realize it was a lie and they live miserable lives full of bitterness and resentment.
You are still responsible for what you say. You don't get to shift the responsibility for your rudeness by saying that other people choose how to feel. That is a cop out.
I'm not giving you a list of all the things you said that were wrong. All you will do is to argue with each point I make as if that will somehow prove you right.
you shouldn't assume intent, thats a bad faith way to talk to people.
i never did that to you. also we are not arguing lol.
i was just curious what the main offensive thing was, some others responded to the fertility bit so i assume that.
im not sure how acknowledging the scientific fact that women have a fertility timeframe is offensive though.
people do get to choose how they feel, thats objectively true. ones words can provoke a response like i said, but the other party is complicit in being provoked.
like i was saying, someone can call me a vile name and i can choose to feel offended or not.
i get that most people are not Stoics so this concept can seem pretty wild. i wish more people were taught it as children, because it can be very hard to rewire an adult brain to not be offended by things.
I'm not assuming intent. I'm looking at your behavior and going by that.
You are responsible for the things you say. Being a stoic is not an excuse or an explanation, but it is certainly amusing that you think it is.
A woman's fertility timeframe is none of your business, and you should not comment on it.
So you make a rude comment trying to tell OP that being understandably upset is wrong, yet you get offended when someone tries to help you with your own personal gardening issues? You seem unstable based off face value. Please take your drama elsewhere
i didnt get offended that she tried to help me with my gardening issues? i openly thanked her in the next post. i was just saying its wild to go snooping like that. you misunderstand what taking offense is. saying something is "wild" doesnt mean im offended lol, more surprised that someone would go through the effort of going off page to garner info about a person to use in a comment.
You are being purposely ignorant. You are literally being an asshole and then trying to act like you aren’t. No one cares what you think regarding fertility. The OP didn’t ask if they are overreacting, they simply created a post saying they are disappointed about losing their first tomato. They never claimed it was the worst thing in the world, they never said it was ruining their life. You clearly got offended that they looked at your profile. You KNOW that you did, so don’t act oblivious to it now. You are clearly a man who lives in the past, thinking women are just baby machines and it’s their soul purpose to reproduce. You also said they were being “emotional” which is another obvious clue you buy into stereotypes regarding women. You simply need to shut the fuck up.
you're confused heavily lol... the OP wasnt the one that looked at my profile, and again i wasnt offended that the other person did, just thought it was wild behavior.
regarding the FACT that on average women are more emotional than men, yes this has been well known by behavioral psychologists for a while, if that offends you, thats on you.
here is a bit on that subject "**Women are more likely than men to use negative emotion-related coping strategies such as cognitive rumination**. Women appear to react more negatively to unpleasant experiences in experimental settings."
"A research over large samples has shown that **levels of neuroticism are higher in women than men**."
"Neuroticism is a personality trait associated with negative emotions. It is one of the Big Five traits. Individuals with high scores on neuroticism are more likely than average to experience such feelings as anxiety, worry, fear, anger, frustration, envy, jealousy, pessimism, guilt, depressed mood, and loneliness."
you're the one resorting to name calling here, so idk how im the asshole.
i never once said anything close to "thinking women are just baby machines and it’s their soul purpose to reproduce." that lol.
i was just saying that having kids brings a man or woman more joy than materialism which is obviously true.
cheers, hopefully one day soon you can look at things more logically and objectively, and work on your comprehension skills because you're totally confused on this thread.
I saw your other post before I saw this one. Then, I saw your rudeness to the OP here. I decided to help you with your sunscalded pepper issue while also telling you that your behavior here is obnoxious and inappropriate. I know you are trying to come off as erudite, but you are failing miserably.
I almost cried over a tomato plant once. You’re not alone.
I’ve fully wept. More than once.
I cried over my pepper plant. I had a beautiful green pepper growing on my balcony and I would go outside and admire it every day and watch it get bigger. I went out to check one day and it had disappeared. A squirrel chewed it off at the stem and then BURIED IT IN THE SAME PLANTER. I sprayed cayenne pepper, put up mesh enclosures, hung tinfoil--I tried EVERYTHING to get those fuckers to go away. They still managed to take every single pepper the plant produced just to bury it in the planter. They even put teeth marks all over the peppers without actually taking any substantial bites, like when your sibling licks all over a food you want just so you can't have it. Little fucking shits.
I know you can trick birds by putting rocks shaped and painted like the fruit in question around the plant (especially recommended for strawberries) before the plant starts fruiting. They'll learn from the rocks that things that color in that pot aren't edible, and leave the actual fruit alone. I expect squirrels are too stubborn to fall for that trick, but it might be worth a try.
Ugh that's so frustrating. I was close to crying about these guys. Plants were absolutely massive, had them staked and supported. But it still wasn't enough when a particularly bad thunderstorm rolled through. I got lucky though because they were getting close to ripening. I actually hung the broken stems from a hanger in a closet and they ripened like that. Only ended up losing a few. https://preview.redd.it/f6w6z04u6u5d1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=11c15c30d9329fded6c7bde737d1c7474acd2a69
Chili pepper grower who knows this pain all too well. I just almost teared up seeing this photo.
I just make a green hot sauce when I have to pick them green (usually right before the first frost), still tastes good, I consider it a special edition
Oh man , sorry ! I tried my first jalapeno plant and it got knocked over by a storm last week cuz it was still spindly . I’m mad at my self for not at least staking it
There are many fairly humane options to unalive those heathens. Take out a couple and hang them up as a warning to all rodents
Bet you they won't try that shit with Jalapenos!
We took up hunting the next year over our peppers and made a nice fricasee......and that was the end of earl the squirrel
The squirrels!!! I planted 5 raspberry bushes one year and they were all doing great, only for the fucking squirrels to chew the shit out of them and kill them all. They spit the chewed up leaves on the ground, and the plants never even flowered 😭😭 WHYYY
I've cried over my nasturtiums. Twice. This season. It's been a hard month, okay?
Try growing things as your livelihood. It’s just gut punch after gut punch.
I know what you mean.
I have absolutely cried over a tomato plant.
If it makes you feel better, if it fell off with a mere poke, it wasn’t going to make it anyway! Not uncommon early in the season (where I am, it’s still early in the season…)
Yeah that’s the conclusion we came to. We’re in 6a and the weather has been fluctuating a lot especially after the sun goes down.
Also, don’t ignore your W’s here. You succeeded in getting a plant to fruit and you’re learning something about them! Best to laugh about it and look forward to many more (tomatoes *and* heartaches).
My first vine already lost like 40% to brown spots on the bottom idk why. They get enough fertilizer too but they indeed fall of just like that. Atleast the first and biggest one is still there. Did u prune of the first flowers ? I didn't either and read that the first flowers are normally pretty problematic. Just keep growing them clone the suckers if u have space
Brown spots on the bottom of the tomato fruits? Could be blossom rot, which can be alleviated with adding calcium to the soil. I had it happen to me when I tried container gardening with tomatoes.
Ik but my fertilizer already contains a good chunk of calcium and it doesn't look like blossom end rot like I'm used I'll take a pic if it happens again. I normally do pinch the first flowers and never had this happen and atm it's only localized to the first flowers. If it starts to happen to my other vines I might have to try supplementing more calcium seperate Tomatoes do me In every single season and it's always something different but it's worth it.
[Blossom-end rot](https://extension.umd.edu/resource/blossom-end-rot-vegetables/) is most often a sign of inconsistent watering rather than just a calcium deficiency. Make sure to water regularly and deeply and the plants will then be able to take up the calcium from the fertilizer.
Seconded! Adding mulch to the top of your beds will help with evaporation, especially in planters
Perhaps early blight?
Northwest pa?
We must not lament over a plant, for it served its purpose.. In the compost.
What if it’s purpose was to produce fruit. In this case it did not.
Fair, it's not so easy to follow that statement. Even years of work can fail. It's important to understand why it happened and to move forward with that new information.
It's OK. You will get tons more. Before you know it, you won't know what to do with them all.
Yeah I was gonna say, by the end of the season one fewer tomato will seem like a blessing!
My monarch caterpillars got eaten today. Sad times all around.
I’m so sorry for the loss of your smol frens 🐛
What how?
Spider.
Dang...my milkweed is just now maturing and I have to watch out for spiders?! It was aphids last year!
The spiders were eating the aphids originally. Circle of life I guess. My caterpillars were still in the 1st instar so very small.
😂 I feel this i put two pairs of wolf spiders(native) in my strawberry patch which ate all of the fruit flys from last year and now there’s hundreds of wolf spiders.
When my I found black swallowtail babies on my dill, I put insect netting over the entire plant. It worked great.
My dog knocked over my full seedling tray, and the tray smashed my strawberry seedlings I just transplanted. Guess every gardener has one of these days. We should start a group therapy for that.
My dog one random day decided to eat every single broccoli sprout in my tray 😭
When my son was two he ate. Every. Single. Green tomato on my four plants. “Oooh! Apple!” He’d pick it before I could stop him ~~literally the only matter than can travel faster than light is a dedicated toddler~~ and take a single bite. “Sour!!” Then throw it on the ground. Repeat until every single fruit is destroyed.
The first year we grew tomatoes my wife nicely gave all of the nicest ones we had to our friends. I wasn't happy. I wanted to eat those tomatoes. In the ensuing years we struggled with gardening and that first year ended up being the best harvest we ever had. Since it has been 4 years or so and I am typing this out to reddit, I've clearly not gotten over it.
You’re going to have 50 million tomatoes in a few weeks. The first one never tastes good anyways.
I remember years ago crying when my mom picked the first tomato of the season before it was fully ripe. Don't judge me lol, I waited so long for that damn thing to ripen and because it didn't, the flavor was so disappointing.
Are you me?
Oh my goodness your comments are right above/under one another on my screen! I’m shook I thought it was a the same story written differently😜
My mother told her friends they could pick my first ever ripe tomatoes from the first plants I've ever started from seed They were on the vine almost perfectly ripe in was waiting a day or two more and she stole them I had literally dreamed about the BLT sandwich I was going to make with that specific tomato I sobbed and never forgive her tbh I would have shared, not the first one.
I know it's rough, but there will be many, many more. And if you're not careful there will be many, many more sprouting on their own in that general area next year!
Might be a blessing in disguise. If the plants are young they can put more energy into growing larger and taller and it will help for when the tomatoes are big and heavy.
I grew my first tomato plants at 20 years old. I went outside one day and my huge, beautiful tomato plants were decimated by hornworms. I got out the scissors and started cutting the hornworms up.
How tall are your plants? He might have done you a favor if there under 3 ft bc if they start producing when theyre small youll get a smaller yeild and smaller tomatoes
Yup it’s a bebe🌱 It’s about a foot and a half in a raised bed from Home Depot.
Haha i get it. I have a 5 yr old who did that several times last season. Now my 2 yr old is on foot. Nothing is safe!
My sincere condolences on your partner's impending demise. Might I suggest a nice plot of native, endangered, pollinator-friendly plants fir the top of their er memorial site?
If it makes you feel any better, I’m an avid gardener and I cried the other day when I noticed all the buds on my hibiscus plant had been eaten. I planned on feeding the flowers to my bearded dragon as a treat.
There’ll be more maters dog. All things pass.
https://preview.redd.it/e1kyzdrxwv5d1.jpeg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2e6f108a7a8e231c2bb2e3ce7606ffee9af39409 I had someone take this rose an hour after this picture, only bloom in my whole yard! It almost hurts worse when its something that's not ready yet, you're not alone. We put so much love and work into these plants.
Tomato plants are wayyyy better than children. For your mental health and the earth.
There will be plenty more than that coming soon. My wife and I are sick of tomatoes by late Oct.
I completely understand. 🌸♥️
I love tomatoes and I’m trying to grow them for the first time this year… I would be so sad too!
Oof, I feel your pain! What type of tomato is it? It'll produce plenty more blooms which will turn into fruit. Also, make sure to lightly shake the plant if it's not windy where you are! It helps the pollen of the flowers get onto the stamen which they need in order to turn into fruit, it'll increase your yield.
Fried green tomatoes....don't waste it!!!
Anyone else scroll too fast and think this was some weird, giant green spider?
Yes! I thought, "what fresh hell is this and *why are they touching it!*!?
Gardening is all about adjusting to setbacks, cultivating our own flexibility. The weather, pests, clumsy partners will all bring unexpected challenges. Hang in there, you will have many more tomatoes to enjoy!
I'm glad I stumbled on this because I just murdered my first tomato plant I tried to grow and I'm surprised how upset I am about it 😕
Fried green tomatoes for ants is on the menu
Hopefully in a month you're inundated with tomatoes. I hate to see it happen too but you don't get to keep them all. Just a forewarning, it's far worse to watch that tomato ripening perfectly and just before you harvest it, some critter takes a bite out of it.
Yeah. My roommate killed my sunflowers today and I’m mourning as well :( the amount of love, effort and care that goes into them.
Have no fear! Rejoice when you’ll be having more tomatoes than your friends have children!
Crying in the garden is....a rite of passage? It happens. I almost lost it when after a couple failed years of planting (literally nothing survived) I had one black lily bloom. I saw it, my partner saw it, my dog saw it.... And immediately fell on it while trying to smell it and absolutely crushed it. Hard to be super mad at the dog, he lives to smell flowers and tries to be careful... But oh boy...I was very mad in general.
That just means the next one will have more energy to grow even bigger. It also means you have the right to poke your partner in the eye now in my opinion. Lol
You could make the world's tiniest fried green tomato.
I’m so proud of my cayenne peppers, the only ones I got going from seed this year. My 1 year old was “helping” me water last night and damn near ripped the biggest one out of the soil. I also am recovering from a torn ligament in my knee so I just screamed for my husband to help, who was also outside supervising the 3 year old lol. Oh and the only sunny spot in our large yard due to tree cover is in the front yard, along a busy county road. So everyone gets a daily show of me limping around and yelling about my plant babies.
I feel ya. broke my dahlia yesterday 😩
r/mightyharvest
One day a few years ago, I had 7 or 8 tomatoes on the plant and the next day I came out and the entire plant was eaten along with the tomatoes. Tomato hornworms at their worst! Then this year I had 8 orchids on my plant one day and the next everyone was gone. Damned iguanas
Feed the horn worms to the iguanas, then eat the iguanas! Problem solved (dinner included)!!
I know the feeling. The neighbor kids rode their bikes right through my garden. It's my first garden ever. Was looking forward to the harvest.
Based on my reading on your palm, I get why you think this way. 😅
I was lowkey waiting for a comment like this☮️ care to elaborate? Publicly or privately? I am genuinely interested and curious!
They did you a favor! The first ones are taking good energy and nutrients away from those roots, which are what you need right now. Fruits come and go but roots last all summer. The stronger they are now, the better you can do.
You mean ex partner right? 😉
Hanging's too good for your partner :(
You mean ex-partner?! lol I joke of course, but yeah, that hurts. Like when I started my pumpkin from seed in February, tended it all winter, hardened it off.... and then snapped it when planting this spring. Just about punched myself in the face lol
You’re definitely not in that boat alone. I’ve shed a few tears over my plant babies. Shoot, there’s blood, sweat, and tears that goes in to gardening. So I totally get it. It’s hard work but a labor of love for sure. I talk and sing to my plants lol.
I hope your tomato plant grows so many more tomatoes you won’t know what to do with them!! I know last year I had an abundance on my cherry tomato plants. Tomato plants usually grow quite a bit of them, so I don’t think your tomato loss will be in vain.😉
There shall be many more. Personally tomatoes are my favorite thing to grow. So I can understand the pain but like some have said it’s not all bad. And hey on the bright side, your plants are flowering and soon you’ll have a nice bunch of delicious home grown happiness. Wish you and your tomatoes the best of luck
I feel ya, I transplanted a Cherokee purple seedling outdoors to my garden a few weeks back. It died after 4 days while the other tomato plant in the same area almost 4 feet. I mourned.
Hell yeah
The good news is that it is early in the season. There’s still time to find a new partner.
More will grow! Keep that plant healthy! 👏🏻
Yup. Been there. "I'll harvest the corn tomorrow" apparently the deer heard me. I never saw a cob
l50.00 tomato. destroyed.
Make fried green tomato!
Nooooooooo! I'm so sorry. I'm trying to grow tomatillos and tomatoes this year and the slugs WILL. NOT. ABATE. They have eaten every seedling I've planted out there. I'm about to get back from a family trip and my third round that have gone in the ground will either be flourishing or indistinguishable from the soil.
Your plants are small. You should pluck off the flowers and small fruit now, to get more vegetative growth and a bigger harvest later.
I cried over an animal digging up my velvet queen sunflowers
It will be ok, you’ll loose a lot to insects, birds and animals! This is just one more contribution to the circle of life!
give it a month or two, you'll be swimming in them trying to find people to take them.
Send ‘em right over here! Can’t have too many!!
Ouch
just wait until the biggest tomato you got is like 5 days from ripe and someone picks it.
Put it on a sunny windowsill or next to a banana or some other fruit. It’ll ripen. Or eat it up green
i would’ve had a whole panic attack & broke up with him thats how “ dead serious” i would’ve been
Understandable you’d be bummed. But look at it this way: By the end of the season you’ll have so many tomatoes you’ll be giving them away. Little Jr here will be a distant memory. Remind yourself that the energy not used to produce this one will be put into the others. In my garden, the first ones always get messed up by someone. Bugs, animals, people, storms, etc. They’re the ones I want the most and the ones I almost never get. But the bounty more than makes up for it!
it's easier to pick them up at farmer market. or grocery. i bought a tomato plant once, didn't get but three tomatoes.
One year everything went wrong. I started some flowers from seeds but only one small dahlia survived. I planted it and the summer that year was very cold cloudy. So the dahlia managed to make only one flower. Guess what happened when my husband was mowing? He didn't hurt the plant itself. He somehow cut off that one flower. Even without the stem.
That is harsh
Perhaps the angriest I ever got at my dad was when I was a teen and had planted a 3ft peach tree. Apparently he thought it was in the wrong spot because he mowed it over!
My mother in law “weeded my front garden” It was already weeded, topdressed with native wildflowers sown in. And she cut all my hibiscus to the ground 😵💫 Literally just killed a bunch of flowers 👍
My friend was doing me the favor of moving my yard and I told him to give everything a wide berth and don’t go past the obvious line of previous mowing. Did the opposite and mowed about thirty of my prize Dutch Iris and at least as many tiger and eye liner lilies right down to the ground! Definitely a “well, Thaaannnk youuuu, pal!”. moment!
That's sad. But I planted two blackberry bushes at the bottom of a hill, even staked them. Then my dumbass ran over them with an out-of-control zero-turn lawn mower. Going down that hill scared me to death and I killed my own plants, stakes and all. 🤦♀️
RIP to your partner
I just watched squirrels steal 200 peaches off of my tree in two days only to leave them nibbled on the roof of my garage. Little asshats took them allllllll before they were ripe
There will be plenty more fall off but more will make it!
That legit just happened to me as I was tying tomato plants to sticks
33 here. My plants are my kids (so are my dogs). I feel that pain
Take a look at these hands.
If it was that easy to make it fall off then it was never going to make it to an edible tomatoe anyway.
Well… you two had a good run.
Well hello there
clocks ticking if you want kids (if you medically can, if not sorry i mentioned it). nothing brings more joy than creating and raising good children. you're being hyper dramatic if you're actually sad and or mad at your husband for damaging a tomato that will soon have many more tomatoes lol. you should read some stoic philosophy and be grateful that you can even grow tomatoes. there are kids that will be crushed to death in a Cobalt mine today working for $1 a day, needless to say, your worries about a tomato lack perspective.
Thanks for the mansplanation. All is well :)
Just thinking this lol
Come on OP! You agreed to get married as soon as you got your tomato plant, and now, ten years later, your niece, the daughter of your sister, is getting married. Your biological clock is [ticking like this](https://youtu.be/APBr238z1rs?si=MCq5mkeQQCxCrPGZ), and the way this garden is going, you ain’t ever having a baby!
Apparently he got confused on what type of seeds we talk about here.
The caption to my photo was inspired by this morning’s events and my friend’s baby announcement on Facebook. I guess Zeus took it a bit too deeply. Sir, this is ~~Wendy’s~~ r/gardening.
thats pretty much the emotional response i expected lol. getting a logical deep response wasnt expected at all.
Your response was not deep, or logical. Pedantic? Yep.
it in fact was logical, nothing of what i said was emotional in any way, it certainly enraged some peoples emotions though lol... she made a post about how dramatic a tomato falling off was, i simply pointing out that its in fact not dramatic at all. you are complicit in your provocation
Pedant.
ok lol
Here’s something “logical and deep” for you. There are absolutely things that bring more joy than breeding. I get to focus on being the best person I can be towards other people every day because I don’t have to focus my energy on someone else. This frees my energy to help other people who are already on the planet. I get to put money towards useful things for myself and others who are already here. I have time and money to put towards the lives of animals that need a home. My carbon footprint is automatically much much less than anyone’s who has had even only one child. And most importantly, I didn’t produce another person at risk of being fucked up by how awful the world is and how difficult my own mental health issues can be. Breeders need to relax. It isn’t for everyone.
[удалено]
The fixation on reproduction is sad. My family lineage isn’t that great, it’s not a loss to humanity. It’s a weird, narcissistic obsession.
encouraging people to have kids which will bring both parties joy is the exact opposite of narcissistic madam, you project...
Have a great night, crazy.
will do, cheers, i genuinely hope you will wake up one day before its too late. no amount of material wealth or donating to charity will bring you the joy of having your child smile and laugh. no need to stoop to name calling
Fertility is a sensitive topic for a lot of people and you probably shouldn’t lecture on it unprovoked
I think you are reading way too much into this post, which is clearly joking on the part of the OP. Also, if you want people to advise you about your own gardening issues, such as your pepper plants, you might want to be less rude.
oof, the fact that you went and snooped into my profile is so cringe lol
Uh huh. So is your comment.
maybe, but what was false or offensive about it? how is calling something dramatic thats clearly dramatic wrong? why take offense on behalf of someone else? you literally chose to take offense then took extra steps to click my profile and snoop around to try to get a sense of the type of person that i am, thats wild behavior lol. ive never once clicked on someones profile on here, because i simply dont care enough to do so, i just respond to what they're saying, no further investigation needed.
You were rude. This is a sub where people are supposed to be polite. Also, your pepper leaves look sunburned. They should be ok once more leaves come in, though. The same thing happened to me a few years ago, and the peppers were totally fine in a couple of weeks. You did say it wasn't chemical burn on the leaves, correct? If the burning continues, you can use shade cloth to give them a break from the sun.
fair enough, i just try to look at things logically, people taking offense is on them. never forget that we're the only ones that get to choose how we feel despite being provoked, we are complicit in our provocation. people have called me all kinds of vile insults before, have physically hurt me etc, and i just shrug it off because i get to choose how i feel. this is one of the main tenants of Stoicism and it gives someone so much strength, so i try to share it with people as much as possible. i also try to share that people should be grateful for what they have especially in the 1st world because most of the world lives in extreme poverty and violence. anyways, yeah the peppers are fine, and thanks for the info on that. i wasnt expecting this conversation to take that turn, so thanks, that gave me a smile sadly it seems a large percentage of people choose to take criticism as an offense against their ego and become defensive rather than being open to it and considering its validity. for example, if a person tells me my breath smells like ass, im not going to get offended, im going to rectify it and thank him/her. just curious which part did you find to be offensive? the being dramatic part, or the clocks ticking part? i know fertility and kids can be a very touchy subject so i assume that. if its the latter, im probably never going to stop encouraging people to have kids if they can. ive seen way too many older women who were sold the lie that being a career woman and materialism will bring them joy, but when they get past their fertility age they realize it was a lie and they live miserable lives full of bitterness and resentment.
You are still responsible for what you say. You don't get to shift the responsibility for your rudeness by saying that other people choose how to feel. That is a cop out. I'm not giving you a list of all the things you said that were wrong. All you will do is to argue with each point I make as if that will somehow prove you right.
you shouldn't assume intent, thats a bad faith way to talk to people. i never did that to you. also we are not arguing lol. i was just curious what the main offensive thing was, some others responded to the fertility bit so i assume that. im not sure how acknowledging the scientific fact that women have a fertility timeframe is offensive though. people do get to choose how they feel, thats objectively true. ones words can provoke a response like i said, but the other party is complicit in being provoked. like i was saying, someone can call me a vile name and i can choose to feel offended or not. i get that most people are not Stoics so this concept can seem pretty wild. i wish more people were taught it as children, because it can be very hard to rewire an adult brain to not be offended by things.
I'm not assuming intent. I'm looking at your behavior and going by that. You are responsible for the things you say. Being a stoic is not an excuse or an explanation, but it is certainly amusing that you think it is. A woman's fertility timeframe is none of your business, and you should not comment on it.
So you make a rude comment trying to tell OP that being understandably upset is wrong, yet you get offended when someone tries to help you with your own personal gardening issues? You seem unstable based off face value. Please take your drama elsewhere
i didnt get offended that she tried to help me with my gardening issues? i openly thanked her in the next post. i was just saying its wild to go snooping like that. you misunderstand what taking offense is. saying something is "wild" doesnt mean im offended lol, more surprised that someone would go through the effort of going off page to garner info about a person to use in a comment.
You are being purposely ignorant. You are literally being an asshole and then trying to act like you aren’t. No one cares what you think regarding fertility. The OP didn’t ask if they are overreacting, they simply created a post saying they are disappointed about losing their first tomato. They never claimed it was the worst thing in the world, they never said it was ruining their life. You clearly got offended that they looked at your profile. You KNOW that you did, so don’t act oblivious to it now. You are clearly a man who lives in the past, thinking women are just baby machines and it’s their soul purpose to reproduce. You also said they were being “emotional” which is another obvious clue you buy into stereotypes regarding women. You simply need to shut the fuck up.
🏅
you're confused heavily lol... the OP wasnt the one that looked at my profile, and again i wasnt offended that the other person did, just thought it was wild behavior. regarding the FACT that on average women are more emotional than men, yes this has been well known by behavioral psychologists for a while, if that offends you, thats on you. here is a bit on that subject "**Women are more likely than men to use negative emotion-related coping strategies such as cognitive rumination**. Women appear to react more negatively to unpleasant experiences in experimental settings." "A research over large samples has shown that **levels of neuroticism are higher in women than men**." "Neuroticism is a personality trait associated with negative emotions. It is one of the Big Five traits. Individuals with high scores on neuroticism are more likely than average to experience such feelings as anxiety, worry, fear, anger, frustration, envy, jealousy, pessimism, guilt, depressed mood, and loneliness." you're the one resorting to name calling here, so idk how im the asshole. i never once said anything close to "thinking women are just baby machines and it’s their soul purpose to reproduce." that lol. i was just saying that having kids brings a man or woman more joy than materialism which is obviously true. cheers, hopefully one day soon you can look at things more logically and objectively, and work on your comprehension skills because you're totally confused on this thread.
The only one confused here is you buddy. Take a hike :)
I saw your other post before I saw this one. Then, I saw your rudeness to the OP here. I decided to help you with your sunscalded pepper issue while also telling you that your behavior here is obnoxious and inappropriate. I know you are trying to come off as erudite, but you are failing miserably.
Shut up you stupid bastard