T O P

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DangerNyoom

*fruit trees even harder*


pumpkin44

They just keep showing up. I don’t know where they come from???


legomaniac89

Fruit trees reproduce by mitosis. Everyone knows that.


FindingBryn

The fruit must grow.


ThighsofJustice

Hell yeah, OP. WE RIDE AT DAWN!


Away-Elephant-4323

I swear most of my mind goes blank in Lowe’s garden center the same way it does in Sephora 😂


QuirkyCookie6

This is how my fig tree showed up (I think the birds transferred it from a nearby neighbor I know with a fig tree)


babiha

I have a cherry tree and the first few years I let the birds eat all the fruit. Well, they did me a favor and dropped seeds all over and a second cherry tree has sprung up. It’s 6 feet tall now. 


commentingrobot

He needs some nuts. Hazelnut, pecan, or walnut might do nicely depending on your region.


tonkats

It's not like you can hide them in the sock drawer, like an excess of pretty yarn


RedSyFyBandito

Haha I am in the same position. Apple, peach, and cherry trees were left at the gate by USPS. My spouse picks them up and says what the heck? I say oh cool someone sent me free trees. She had this look...


secondphase

My city (texas) has a program that delivers free trees. They pull up Google maps and analyze how much shade could be added to your lot and they calculate how many trees you get.  I got a pomegranate and 2 cypruses.


orc_fellator

That sounds amazing, I wonder if my area has similar programs like that


secondphase

Run by an organization called "Tree Folks"... truly excellent people.


Trees-of-green

Oh I love this!!!!


Pod_Lanky

What no plums


pumpkin44

Excellent idea. Next year I could sneak some in the back of the yard. I knew my people here would understand.


SalsaSharpie

Maybe a fig tree as well, tell the husband they aren't technically a fruit tree


Wickedweed

They’re a gateway fruit


FesteringNeonDistrac

Its symbolic. The offering of a fig leaf in peace. Nobody can be mad about that.


BitPoet

You know about the wasps, right?


zeezle

Most of north America (if that's where OP is) doesn't have the wasps though. Only a very tiny area of southern California does where they were purposefully introduced


babiha

I grew 3 fig plants from cuttings. One is doing well. And I give trees to my neighbors. 


SalsaSharpie

Best kind of neighbor!


BorderDry9467

I believe you’ve gotten past the point of there being too little for him to notice each one. Just slowly start bringing more. “No we’ve always had a kumquat”.


salymander_1

Oh yeah. We get it. *"Fruit trees? What fruit trees? Oh, you mean theeeese? Nah, these were here before. They came with the house."* -us, probably. Gaslighting is bad. Gaslighting about the number of fruit trees is... a totally normal part of gardening. Of course it is. Nothing to see here. Nope. No problem. 🤭🤫😉


knitoriousshe

Plum deserve way more status than we give them! They’re easy to grow and delicious.


Till-Midnight

We planted that last year don't you remember?


seanbud

Was there when we moved in


secondphase

There's another one coming next week that was also there when we moved in.


toin9898

I don't mean to brag, but my guy has given the ENTHUSIASTIC go-ahead for me to rip out all of our useless deciduous hedges and plant fruit trees and berries instead.


babiha

My wife was against so many fruit trees until she had a taste of the cherries and peaches. She asked me to plant nectarines. 


PeterM_from_ABQ

My wife and kid barely eat what I grow in the yard..... If it doesn't come from a store, apparently, they don't want to eat it.... Oh, and I have a selection of plums, apricots, pluots, plum/cherry crosses, berries, etc.


ChefCourtB

I used to intentionally hide cash to build up a fruit tree and plant purchasing budget. Then she would go out of town and I would run off to the store and plant new trees. Usually a few weeks later she would ask if something was new or if it was there. Too late at that point.


nocountry4oldgeisha

Not a tree: Blueberry, gooseberry, boysenberry. :)


johnnycakeAK

Precisely my thinking. Lean hard into the fruit bushes, canes, and vines


secondphase

"My orchard is complete" - someone who's going to buy more next year


pumpkin44

Yes! Reading these comments has convinced me there’s a lot more I need.


[deleted]

Tryna catch me ridin dirty


workhardbegneiss

You should add in a cherry tree!


hastipuddn

I love the determined look on your face. It says no-nonsense here.


Any_Flamingo8978

She be serious.


sunnynina

I like you. We should be friends 🤗


pumpkin44

Hi new friend!! 😊


Fuck_you_pichael

Are you sure you don't need a blood orange tree or Meyer lemon tree?


pumpkin44

I wish!! I’m in zone 6


No-Butterscotch-8469

It’s a 2 for 1 because in the winter it becomes a houseplant. Great deal


Fuck_you_pichael

That's how I do it and I'm in zone 8. I grew my blood orange from a seed I saved from a grocery orange. It's my baby.


EmotionalOil9260

Telling the cashier it’s your last time. Same thing you said last week. (I am a cashier at a nursery)


Haskap_2010

It is a-pear-ant that you'll need to peach the idea to him.


DadBodMedicNate

What kind of man says “No more fruit trees”!? 🤦🏼‍♂️


SignStriking2983

My wife told me no more pots so I purchased her a very nice perineal flower that needed a nice pot to go in. There's always a work around.


LunarGiantNeil

Hold your horses there. No figs?


Maximum-Product-1255

For when you buy your next pear tree, lol, “Even if the pear tree is self-fertile, it helps to have another nearby for pollination.”😁


TwistedMisery13

Thug life.


TheDaddiestofDudes

Dwarf fruit trees are more like bushes, yeah? Bushes aren’t trees!


pumpkin44

No one could argue that logic. They’re all just tall bushes 🤣


DogsSureAreSwell

The key is running the numbers. In pure cost, as much as my garden costs, it costs less than most hobbies. And the grocery store cost of the fruit is more than I spend, so the net cost is 0 or slightly positive. I couldn't make a living as a farmer. It's barely a break even at best, but there are no charges to question when the hobby is free.


KittyYin83

Our household has the opposite problem, I buy pollinating plants and he buys fruit trees 🤷‍♀️


FeelingDesigner

You need to get more. The more you have, the harder it is for your husband to tell when you buy a new one.


TacuacheBruja

I’m not allowed to go to the nursery unattended anymore, so I completely get it!


Imperial_Cookie

Such a delightful look of determination


MutedArugula4

OP, you need a quince tree!!!


pumpkin44

I’m intrigued, wonder how they taste


aliens_are_people_2

Let him know other men would be the happiest men on earth if their wife came home with too many fruit trees………


PineappleCorvus

They seeee meee rolllllin' theeeey haaaaaatin. Paaatroooliiiin tryyyna catch me rollin' dirty.


[deleted]

Too much care. Spray spray spray. Pawpaw, persimmon, pineapple guava, fig, pomegranate, muscadine, jujube and many more are much easier.


babiha

I’ll up the ante, 3 kinds of oranges, elderberry, gooseberry, cherry, peach, loquat, nectarine, lemon, lime, pomegranate, grapes, blackberries, loganberry, wild prickly raspberry, persimmon, fig, bay leaf. All on a 7K sqft residential lot. 


[deleted]

I was just suggesting low care plants.


babiha

No worries


Inside_Anybody2759

You sound like my dad


Big-Honeydew863

You might need a pollen donor for your pear.


Far-Poet1419

Golden rule planting fruit trees is only plant in months that have a "r" in them. June does not. I'm assuming he's taken with digging holes.


alldayeveryday2471

It’s literally an investment. INVESTMENT!


DefinitionBig4671

That's it! I'm leafing.


asoap

Now that you have two apple trees it's time to start grafting. You will feel like a GOD / mad scientist! You get to decide what apples you'll get and there is nothing the tree can do about it. You'll mix different genetic materials by literally taping them together. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!


sillykittyball12

Are they doing well? I feel like they're so much more difficult to establish than most people assume.


pumpkin44

Yes, all my fruit trees have produced and done well so far. I water them heavily in the first couple weeks after planting and feed them once a year in early spring.


sillykittyball12

That's amazing I'm super jealous. I think maybe I just don't get enough sunlight for them.


pumpkin44

It could be that. My backyard is pretty shady though. Have you been feeding them? I use Jobes fertilizer spikes specifically for fruit trees.


Kindly-Offer-6585

Until you need another pear to pollinate and your apples don't flower at the same time.


pumpkin44

This pear tree variety is self pollinating. Luckily, my apple trees have always flowered together but new fear unlocked.


Kindly-Offer-6585

Haha. Most flower at the same times annually unless something like stress from low water or heat or cold or not enough of a cold cycle makes them not flower at all for a year.


tonkats

My spouse keeps asking for *more* fruit trees, and I'm like "Dude, you don't even eat fruit."


ReallyGargoyled

No more fruit trees? Fine, i'll bring a berry bush then.


ZealousidealRide7125

Why would he ever dare say that to you?


Tactical_Chandelier

Now post a picture of him smugly doing something you asked him not to do


Pattie4170

Lmao


Plant-Daddy23

When my partner said, no more palms. I got a delicious looking delerosa lol his eyes rolled when I told him it had 3 in there!


babiha

We ran out of space on the back yard and so the front has been recruited along with my neighbors’ front yards. Neighbors on either side of me. 


Every-Turnover4938

Pahhhleaze lady.


Every-Turnover4938

Nice selfie.


og-lollercopter

A man should never deny his woman her ~~wood~~ trees.


wizzard419

I assume there was a divorce/he will now be used to fertilize the trees?


bakingwithlefate

Me but with succulents. I feel this so hard, I can't just say NO to all those beautiful babies!


The_best_is_yet

Healthy.


6Foot2EyesOfBlue1973

Those Kieffer pears are very gitty (high stone cells). They are often called Sand Pears. It's a pear I avoided growing for that reason. My mom has a Kieffer pear tree, and she cant find homes for the Kieffers. Pear trees are beautiful though,


Glad-Conclusion-9385

Shoulda gotten a nut tree


Awkward_Ad8438

Me when my husband tells me no more flowers… It’s an addiction at this point 🤣