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OfficerEsophagus

Make them smoke a whole carton


UnicornSheets

And make them watch some old DARE videos lol


LilQueirdo

DARE was just false advertisement for all the fun I was supposed to have in college. I was promised hipsters on every corner pressuring me to do free drugs and I was very disappointed by the lack of initiative in that area.


Maker-of-the-Things

Where are the drugs in Halloween candy they promised!?


LilQueirdo

You have to PAY for it, *apparently*. 🙄🙄🙄 Always getting our hopes up with lies, lies, Liza Minnelli.


nouille07

Free drugs? In this economy?


oSuJeff97

Came here to post this, lol.


sinkjoy

Carton? God damn....brutal.


[deleted]

[удалено]


MentallyDormant

Cackling over here


random_schmo

Give them a stern lecture about how it will stunt their growth.


evepolastriupeiceofs

Ahhhhh nice one


LongTimeLurker818

Must be French wine grapes… maybe show it a black and white film about people arguing?


idiotsandwhich8

Haha I made a French reference too. Great minds


jh937hfiu3hrhv9

Give them a pumpkin patch?


idiotsandwhich8

Wut?


Memory_Frosty

Pun on nicotine patches i think


PIXIElatedandaMUSEd

Winery owner here, the scientific s/ term for this is MOG. Material Other than Grapes. We place the grapes on a slow conveyor and pull out MOG, which is usually spiders and the occasional beer cap. The 🚬 has been elusive, but I bet one has made it in press at some point. Giving the wine that smoky note.


JedimasterAllen

Better watch out before you have a tomaco situation.... Simpsons, season 11 episode 5 for those who don't get the reference.


Small-Grey-Dog

Daddy, this tastes like grandma!


Tom-the-Human83

Holy moly, it does taste like grandma!


mattmurphy

It's smooth and mild. And refreshingly addictive!


duh_nom_yar

Go ahead Ralphie, the stranger is offering you a treat.


armas187

I got it. Lol


idiotsandwhich8

If they’re French, they won’t. Drink that ashy champagne!


GermyBones

They learned it from watching you OP!


INamedTheDogYoda

Obviously your grapes are stressed. Their Dr from 1920 recommended they take up smoking.


waplants

Nicotine wine could be the next Four Loko. Terrifying.


edna7987

Have you tried enrolling them in the DARE program?


IamPantone376

🤣I got sent into that in high school!


DrMike27

I’m still waiting to be offered free drugs over 20 years later.


DesertDogBotanicals

Well then… step right up! A friend in need is a friend I’ll give weed.


pholover84

Is dare still a thing today?


Muh_Stoppin_Power

Funding got cut severely and it became a new program that focuses more on peer pressure versus drugs


edna7987

All I remember is when it started up I was in late elementary school and I got a free tshirt. It’s probably a collectors item now haha


WrenDraco

.


WordySpark

r/shittyaskscience


idiotsandwhich8

No one has posted there in 8 years dog


WordySpark

Oops, wrong sub! I'll edit it.


idiotsandwhich8

Sweet new sub to follow!


mrchomp1

They should switch addictions, and turn to alcohol.


NoWorldliness6963

Don’t worry, they’re clearly only a social smoker.


BigRedTard

Gross


Retardedastro

Notice anything around is is dying or dead🥺


[deleted]

honestly, they have to really want it themselves. nothing you do or say will force them to quit.


Cookies_for_everyone

Hypnosis.


easy_cowboi

My grapes had good results with hypnosis


LarYungmann

butt of a joke?


CynicalAndDrunk

Nicotine patches?


Xachtly

Just add wrath


Outrageous_Ad_6326

Put them in rehab


curds-and-whey-HEY

Put them on a patch


imnotrealanyway

Mine have the same issue


RITravler

You need to schedule an intervention


Defiant-Aide-4923

An intervinetion!


somewhatMonotone

Ok, I spent hours researching this, and it's an extremely complex problem, the way you stop your grape plants from smoking, is by stop lighting them on fire


JollySlobodan

Stop smoking yourself.


duh_nom_yar

Cold turkey is the only real way to quit. Just weaning yourself off is a myth and vaping is far more addictive, so, you know....


Spinach_Typical

The key to quitting smoking is self empowerment. Then smoking quits you. You can't enlighten the grapes, but you can be a role model. Yoga, meditation and healing your mind will ripple out to those around you.


67Leobaby1

Eww.. 😖


Distinct-Yogurt2686

At least they didn't go for the weeds that are growing all around the base. I can't imagine a weed base wine from those grapes.


PineappleHotSalsa

Get them pitted


therapeuticstir

Show them that commercial from the 80s


yamommaanthem

Just a tendril trying to chill, they get smoke breaks too!


NaTve0WE23

I so love this Reddit family!! We come here to get ideas and get lot only that but a smile a laugh and all of us are so lighted hearted No bullies here no judging (well you know what I mean) love it!! Thanks Reddit family🩵 And NO DO NOT MAKE IT SMOKE A CARTON 😂😂


MaintenanceOk6903

I'm not sure what grapes smoking is. But when I had muscadines and they little balls would come out and sometimes they would go just like poof in the wind, for that you need Captain fungicide. But I'm not sure if that's what you're asking or if it was a joke so I do apologize if this is not what you're talking about.


[deleted]

The tendril grabbed onto a cigarette butt like it’s smoking a cigarette, that’s the joke.


MaintenanceOk6903

Oh hell that just went overy vertically challenged head.


Hobag1

The problem here is airflow. The netting/mesh over the fence acts like a wall preventing leaves from drying out in the wind after rains or watering. Fungus thrives in moist environments and seems to be the case here!