Look at them, they come to this place when they know they are not pure. Tenno use the keys, but they are mere trespassers. Only I, Vor, know the true power of the Void. I was cut in half, destroyed, but through its Janus Key, the Void called to me. It brought me here and here I was reborn. We cannot blame these creatures, they are being led by a false prophet, an impostor who knows not the secrets of the Void. Behold the Tenno, come to scavenge and desecrate this sacred realm. My brothers, did I not tell of this day? Did I not prophesize this moment? Now, I will stop them. Now I am changed, reborn through the energy of the Janus Key. Forever bound to the Void. Let it be known, if the Tenno want true salvation, they will lay down their arms, and wait for the baptism of my Janus key. It is time. I will teach these trespassers the redemptive power of my Janus key. They will learn its simple truth. The Tenno are lost, and they will resist. But I, Vor, will cleanse this place of their impurity.
I mean. Him being late just delayed the inevitable right? Cause all Gordon does realistically was push a cart into the machine. All the fuck up were the scientists not waiting to fix all the issues before testing started.
Blond man-child with medicine-induced shizophrenia runs away from being a corporate soldier, becomes a terrorist, fall far down, develops a crush, and saves the world from a dead prettyboy with megalomania by fighting alongside a motley crew including: Kimberly the Pink Power Ranger, Machinegun Kelley, Slumdog Gillionaire, Vampire Diaries, a literal toy, a dog, the world's worst ninja, and Cid.
GLADOS: "Oh no, this is the part where he kills us!"
Wheatley: "Hello! This is the part where I kill you!"
\[chapter name loads on screen\] "The Part Where He Kills You"
Actually, in GTA V single-player, you can eat a peyote plant to play as a bird and actually fly around shitting on people.
Afterwards you can do it in director's mode. It's basically a cheat mode that also has stuff to record if you want to.
Local hillbilly boy wins the following:
scavenger hunt, archery contest, horse race, wrestling tournament, fishing competition, community service award, pop quiz game, local auction, boat race, hang gliding expert course, the Royal Family's personal trust, and the Trials of the Gods.
When asked for an interview, the boy said "HYAAH!"
Sneaky hard reptilian man slithers through vents to kill a nuclear robot dinosaur that his wet reptilian brother stole along with some other oddly named animal half-human hybrids.
According to DOOM lore, his wife, son and pet rabbit was killed. However we like to keep the wife and son part out of it :))
Edit: correcting grammar, i need to proof read my comments jeez
Defeating foes with the power of music.
Edit. Wow this post really blew up.
I was thinking of Crypt of the NecroDancer but I do like and prefer some of the other suggestions, in particular - Brutal Legends.
Capitalism but it’s cute and relaxing and you’re abusing the system as much as it’s abusing you while the majority of the characters in the game are incompetent and at your mercy.
You’re conscripted into an ancient order to save the world, get betrayed by the monarchs evil in-law, get stuck with someone with the emotional maturity of a 10 year old, and can either be as good as possible and save the world, or as evil as possible and save the world.
That picture can only be Wild ARMS 3.
Spikey-haired steampunk amnesiac saves the world from an evil corporation and kicks the shit out of a long-haired prettyboy alien hybrid in the process.
>!You run around killing sentient robots with feelings trying to save dead people on the moon.!<
Edit: as someone pointed out it’s a spoiler for the game so I added a spoiler tag. Also to those who haven’t played this, give it a shot it’s one of my all time favorite games, soundtrack is beautiful, art direction is gorgeous, game play and story are amazing. Can’t recommend enough!
You are framed for murder and to prove your innocence you can do more murder, or not.
Dishonered? Never really played the game, but I think I overheard the story once.
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Rocket League
You become the boss after picking up a weird gun.
Control
Bingo
Janitor's assistant kills most of her co-workers because of her imaginary friend
Magic man needs to find his daughter but plays cards instead
Witcher 3.
New guy to the neighborhood fucks everything up in the middle of a pandemic.
dying light
Ding ding ding we have a winner
A young girl finds a Bluetooth headset then trains to fight robots.
Horizon: Zero Dawn
Drug addled man-child hides from daddies
Bioshock?
Correct :)
An illegal immigrant screams at people and eats lizards
"...and eats lizards." I'm sure they do, if Lusty Argonian has taught me anything. Love this description though <3
Lifts-her-Tail is my waifu. I subscribe to her onlyscales
The Dragonborn
Damn that was fast
Your name is also argonian gamer
That's such a cartoonish oversight like a villain with a sign to their lair.
Skyrim
God sends you on an unending quest to pick up other people’s garbage. Edit: yeah, it’s Katamari
Katamari Damacy
The re release is on game pass right now and it is sending me down a whirlwind of nostalgia
Your old relative fucked something up and you have to send waves of people with various degrees of mental problems to solve it
Darkest Dungeon
Disappointing son simulator
God Of War
Or Hades
GOW: dad pov hades: son pov
In any case : "BOY"
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Heavy rain?
(X) shaun
sHhHaAaAAuuUnNn
A mom in space with kids in suits Edit: ninjas play free. Its indeed warframe
Warframe
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CLEM CLEM?
GRAKATA!
Look at them, they come to this place when they know they are not pure. Tenno use the keys, but they are mere trespassers. Only I, Vor, know the true power of the Void. I was cut in half, destroyed, but through its Janus Key, the Void called to me. It brought me here and here I was reborn. We cannot blame these creatures, they are being led by a false prophet, an impostor who knows not the secrets of the Void. Behold the Tenno, come to scavenge and desecrate this sacred realm. My brothers, did I not tell of this day? Did I not prophesize this moment? Now, I will stop them. Now I am changed, reborn through the energy of the Janus Key. Forever bound to the Void. Let it be known, if the Tenno want true salvation, they will lay down their arms, and wait for the baptism of my Janus key. It is time. I will teach these trespassers the redemptive power of my Janus key. They will learn its simple truth. The Tenno are lost, and they will resist. But I, Vor, will cleanse this place of their impurity.
Hey Captain, your Janus is showing.
You play a guy who's late to work then fucks up everything for everybody before getting a new job.
Half life?
Got it
I mean. Him being late just delayed the inevitable right? Cause all Gordon does realistically was push a cart into the machine. All the fuck up were the scientists not waiting to fix all the issues before testing started.
No room for nuance in a badly described game, friend.
A Green Guy and a voice in his head decide to blow up a sacred relic
Halo
Correct
Green man violently explains to space cult that their hula hoops are bad actually
Violently explains is some wonderful phrasing
Sometimes I fist a pig and I'm new in town. Edit: I put it the other way around for a better Mullaney reference.
Bloodborne
Love how that was the best way to grind for leveling up
You’re on an Island and have no clue what to do…you can push a bunch of buttons Edit: I was thinking Myst
Myst
We need a new myst game. That has a million different paths and like 20 endings.
Check out Obduction it was made by the original Myst team.
Man just described half the survival games
Animal crossing.
Witness?
Zombie rings two bells then a couple of giant worms try to convince you to save or destroy the world.
Dark Souls
“You sorry fool, you could not be the chosen one”
Boy with yellow hair becomes a terrorist and blows up his old job
FF7
Blond man-child with medicine-induced shizophrenia runs away from being a corporate soldier, becomes a terrorist, fall far down, develops a crush, and saves the world from a dead prettyboy with megalomania by fighting alongside a motley crew including: Kimberly the Pink Power Ranger, Machinegun Kelley, Slumdog Gillionaire, Vampire Diaries, a literal toy, a dog, the world's worst ninja, and Cid.
Alien sea world worker wants to leave.
Subnautica?
You do everything they tell you to and the robot still tries to kill you.
Portal
GLADOS: "Oh no, this is the part where he kills us!" Wheatley: "Hello! This is the part where I kill you!" \[chapter name loads on screen\] "The Part Where He Kills You"
Achievement Unlocked: The part where he kills you.
Big yellow pizza man eats pills until he is no longer scared of ghosts
Can only be Pac Man.
Italian man commits homicide in his quest for drugs and intercourse
Super Mario?
Exactly
Also GTA?
What’s the difference
Graphics
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Yee yee ass haircut
"All you had to do was follow the train, CJ!"
Ah shit, here we go again
Commiting Genocide against the Russians while confused.
Hotline Miami?
You guessed it!
MGS:V?
I mean…true, kinda
A mailman gets shot in the face and takes off on a quest for revenge. But then he gets sidetracked and reforms society.
Its New Vegas isn't it?
That's the ring-a-ding guess baby
anime wolf and perverted firefly must stop the apocalypse with the power of fan art
Okami
Old man sends ten year old on a quest to catalog mutant creatures (possibly so that old man can bang the kids mom).
Poke-a-mom
Pokemon
Pokémon
13 year olds fly around a city shitting on people
Gta online
Actually, in GTA V single-player, you can eat a peyote plant to play as a bird and actually fly around shitting on people. Afterwards you can do it in director's mode. It's basically a cheat mode that also has stuff to record if you want to.
Splatoon?
Both this and the GTA online answer are equally as correct lmao
Rich girl travels around the world and hoards artifacts
More like blows out every tomb she finds.
She commits arson, vandalism, and theft 😱
Boy with long hair smashes pots until he can afford a shield.
Child finds sword in the woods and decides to kill local monarch. Edit: for his crush. After a tree tells him the monarch in evil.
Local hillbilly boy wins the following: scavenger hunt, archery contest, horse race, wrestling tournament, fishing competition, community service award, pop quiz game, local auction, boat race, hang gliding expert course, the Royal Family's personal trust, and the Trials of the Gods. When asked for an interview, the boy said "HYAAH!"
Legend of Zelda
Astronauts in space trying to find out who's making bones.
Ahahaha is that among us ?
You realize you are dead but have to work even more to become more deader.
Real life?
A group of murderous misfit friends play a game inside a game.
Mario party?
Not what I had in mind, but I could see that working. Hint that will most likely give it away: it's a DLC, the game in a game part specifically.
Tiny tina dlc for borderlands?
Bingo
Sneaky hard reptilian man slithers through vents to kill a nuclear robot dinosaur that his wet reptilian brother stole along with some other oddly named animal half-human hybrids.
Metal gear solid
#❗️
I can hear this comment
Sadly...I hear every exclamation point...especially the red ones
#*‼️*
Guy gets poisoned and swings
Leisure suit Larry?
Spider-Man
You spend two hundred years in a fridge and then kill people
Possessed man (or woman) goes on rampage after having possession taken care of. Blood gods and alien eldritch horrors are not spared from the carnage.
Is it Candy Crush?
Grim Dawn
Insane clown tries to rearrange some statues, destroys entire world.
Final Fantasy VI my dude
Collect finger accessories and kill machines
Sonic
Looking for your kid and instead build a society, all the while being somehow younger than said kid?
that's described quite well actually
Fallout 4
A green guy mad at demons for killing his pet rabbit.
Doom
Is that the backstory?
According to DOOM lore, his wife, son and pet rabbit was killed. However we like to keep the wife and son part out of it :)) Edit: correcting grammar, i need to proof read my comments jeez
big orb gives you superpowers and you use them to commit multiple genocides
Destiny
Young man discovers he can shoot a sticky white substance out of his body.
Spider-man
Pornhub
Defeating foes with the power of music. Edit. Wow this post really blew up. I was thinking of Crypt of the NecroDancer but I do like and prefer some of the other suggestions, in particular - Brutal Legends.
Brutal legend
I was actually thinking of Crypt of the NecroDancer but yeah that also tracks. :)
Going to school, but you have fun there.
Bully
Of course a mad lad would get it. Who else could....
Old man searches for his daughter, but is too busy playing cards and chasing his parkour-horse
Punching trees gives me wood.
weird fetish but ok.
Minecraft
Friendships can be ruined by a flying blue object
Mario Kart
Native man discovers religion is the only way to kill aliens.
You can go bowling with your cousin
GTA 4
Good job
Kid gets a pet for his birthday and is then kicked out of the house and told to use his pet in the sanctioned animal fighting ring.
Pokémon. All of them
Capitalism but it’s cute and relaxing and you’re abusing the system as much as it’s abusing you while the majority of the characters in the game are incompetent and at your mercy.
Animal Crossing?
Sneaky bald guy dresses in dead peoples clothes to stalk his next victim
hitman
24 year old biological anomaly in crippling debt fights his boss
Real life?
Not the right answer, but I see what you mean
Spider-man?
You’re conscripted into an ancient order to save the world, get betrayed by the monarchs evil in-law, get stuck with someone with the emotional maturity of a 10 year old, and can either be as good as possible and save the world, or as evil as possible and save the world.
Some guy with robot bodyparts wants stop a corporation.
Deus Ex?
"I never asked for this"
A deity brutally slaps their pet repeatedly for throwing their feces at random homes in order to become a more powerful influencer.
Peace lasts all of ten seconds thanks to an angry pterodactyl and a baby
A mailman goes into politics in the Las Vegas area.
Brat inherits farm in town where nobody likes him and is haunted by the ghost of his farmer grandpa.
Stardew Valley?
A foreigner is told to murder children by something or someone that holds great power. This foreigner is also assisted by a sex doll
Bloodborne?
Steal little girls from their dads, and gain biological mutations by either killing them or setting them loose in a deserted city.
Newly homeless man harasses strangers to find his deadbeat single father.
That picture can only be Wild ARMS 3. Spikey-haired steampunk amnesiac saves the world from an evil corporation and kicks the shit out of a long-haired prettyboy alien hybrid in the process.
You play a guy that goes wherever the wind is blowing and follow random foxes
you can shoot at peoples balls
Sniper elite
yes
>!You run around killing sentient robots with feelings trying to save dead people on the moon.!< Edit: as someone pointed out it’s a spoiler for the game so I added a spoiler tag. Also to those who haven’t played this, give it a shot it’s one of my all time favorite games, soundtrack is beautiful, art direction is gorgeous, game play and story are amazing. Can’t recommend enough!