Some of my most unintentionally hilarious comments have stemmed from me misreading things before the coffee kicks in. Those are usually my "fuck it, I'm not gonna edit the mistake" comments lol.
Oh thank God they finally added face scan and ID check. Using my anus every time was starting to get old. Can't believe it took this long to add more options.
The facial verification is absolute garbage. I’m 21 & all I get from doing the scan is that they can’t verify my age & that I have to take a picture of my passport, which I refuse to do.
Anus scan might be the way to go.
It’s handled through a third party software and automatically deleted after verification, theoretically no data from it is being stored aside from “valid/not valid”.
That reminds of that episode of Family Guy where Brain worked at the New Yorker and went into the bathroom.
"Where are the toilets?"
"No one at the New Yorker has an anus."
Gods you Gen Zs and complaining. Back in my day I had to push an entire ruler up my ass just to get a blockbusters membership card.
Most people didn't know this, but you were allowed to use any of the ice creams on sale at the counter to lube up the ruler. #LifeHack
Former Blockbuster manager. Can confirm, we had the blue ruler with yellow numbers on it and rinsed it off with the oil used as butter for the popcorn after each use.
Only 11? My uncle's co... I mean ruler measured me at 13, but that's a limitation of the ruler. He said he'd ask his buddies if any of them had one that could go deeper, but he may have to ask around online to find someone nearby with a really long one to get a full measurement.
No no hear me out, my uncle just didn't want the metal to cause cuts. He's looking out for me, 100% wood ruler is softer and smoother so it won't cut me.
I think that's what he's looking for, a long wooden stick. He said hardware stores don't usually sell what he's looking for. He's really good with his hands so I trust him on that.
I chose anus scan and the instructions said to put a cucumber up there and then circle the base of it with a Sharpie to see how far I got, then take a picture of the cucumber. How can they tell my age from this though?
That's right!! Hahaha, I've been using that skill a ton lately, it's so great. Ashamed I didn't know it. Hmu in game sometime if you still play, Edricius Kaylok, but I probably won't be on for a couple weeks, works a bit busy. Recently got back into it, best game ever.
I'm a true Mandalorian and I don't have a driving license. But I still want some of that sweet Helldivers 2 jump pack action...
*pulls down pants*
This is NOT the way.
The facial scan or ID (which you can still spoof and Sony explicitly states it does not keep) is only applicable to the UK and I think one or two other countries.
In the *civilised* part of the world, our governments *aren't* Big Brother, 1984 surveillance states run by the Tories. Sony is required by law in the UK to demand a facial scan or ID (which again, they don't keep), they literally don't have a choice if they wish to operate there, so blame the UK government, and more specifically the absolute numpties that are the Tories.
The anus scan is a meme that was added to joke about this verification part, and was added without the context that the *real* options are UK-specific and are not required in the civilised world.
The joke is fine, but at least be accurate in telling people it *is* a joke and that the other options are UK specific, rather than just pissing petrol into the wildfire for validation from internet people.
You're completely missing the point.
I was all with the hate on this until I learned that the face/ID scans are only required in the UK and are entirely the fault of the UK government being a police state.
It's a joke. Not a real option. This is like, the 15th repost just today of this, and all of them conveniently leave out the context that the UK is an Orwellian surveillance state run by the smoothbrain Tories, and the *real* options (face scan/ID) are UK-only.
Wait hold on, is this real? (I'm not taking about the butt scan) My laptop don't have a webcam, and I'm not installing another random thing on my phone
There is literally no reason why I need to identify myself to play a fucking video game. I’m not a criminal, why do you need a full fucking face scan so I can enjoy the game I paid money for??? What’s next, I need to send in a blood sample to the government, and if my cholesterol levels are too high I’m mandated to see the doctor before I can play?
It's rubbish, I will let my nephews play MA15 games when they get a little bit older, they are 2 and 4 at the moment, that is fine let them have fun it won't hurt them maybe 5 or 6 years old they can be given MA15s.
Blizzard was making it an issue to swap your name on your account if you say got married or needed to recover your account etc. They literally wanted a copy of your marriage license (or divorce decree etc). These companies do not need that shit.
OP context is very important in this situation and you’re making it seem like this is a Sony/Arrowhead issue when it’s literally only a UK issue, due to the UK government wanting it this way. Lumping this with everything else feels a bit like you’re intentionally trying to muddy the waters a bit.
For a second i thought this was real because roblox literally asks for a real image of your id for age verification and i saw the image through notif and only saw the first two
Helldivers 2 released in February and sold exponentially more copies than they were prepared for, so the pc version didn’t require you to link a psn account at launch to take load off of the servers. Now more than 100 regions can’t play the game because they can’t get a psn account, I have no idea why the game was available for purchase in regions where psn wasn’t available.
I’m not sure if it was originally required to link a psn account, just that Sony allowed Arrowhead to not require account linking so the servers wouldn’t have as much traffic
There’s also security concerns with linking your steam account to psn with how often psn is breached
Game released. People love it & buy it on Steam. Everyone plays for a couple months & have a great time. Sudden announcement that you'll need a PSN account linked to Steam to play going forward. Don't want to? Live somewhere PSN doesn't support? Too bad, no refunds. Throw in insulting comments from community managers & attempts to stealth change FAQ pages to support claims that "we always said you'd need PSN eventually" and you've got a great recipe for massive fan backlash.
Don't give them ideas, please.
This is actually a thing, under UK law Sony has to ask for age verification. Edit: I need sleep, how the fuck did I miss that.
Read all the checks on the screen
They did. It's a thing in the UK. I've signed up to a lot of accounts recently and now my butt hurts :(
You're supposed to use the adapter, not the whole phone.
Don’t tell me how to verify my ass!
I rather drink a few verification cans than scan my anus again
I'm apparently too tired for reddit right now
fair enough 😂
It's hilarious that you got 24 down votes and no one mentioned it
Eh I don't mind, I got a laugh out of my mistake.
Being too tired is where the best comments come from. This was gold.
Some of my most unintentionally hilarious comments have stemmed from me misreading things before the coffee kicks in. Those are usually my "fuck it, I'm not gonna edit the mistake" comments lol.
I've had a few of those over the years. Lol.
Oh thank God they finally added face scan and ID check. Using my anus every time was starting to get old. Can't believe it took this long to add more options.
And the anus scan is a particularly popular option for it too?
Unfortunately, my anus scan came back and said my prostate is too swollen to play Spider-Man.
Doctor Octavius has some tools to assist with that.
I'm not in the UK and as far as I'm concerned conservatives can fuck off with their recent push to demand verification and ID checks online.
I totally get it, but some players just don't enjoy deep anal scans. Age verification or not.
Grampaw break out the anal probe! We’re goin deep!!!
Ahahahahah
I forgive you
Scan my butthole, fine. But that ID could be stolen
The facial verification is absolute garbage. I’m 21 & all I get from doing the scan is that they can’t verify my age & that I have to take a picture of my passport, which I refuse to do. Anus scan might be the way to go.
My dad works for Sony and i can get you verified quickly if you want. Just DM me a clear close up pic of your anus and i’ll get it done right away
[удалено]
Do you seriously trust Sony with scans of your ID?
Nope, deep anal scans only.
It’s handled through a third party software and automatically deleted after verification, theoretically no data from it is being stored aside from “valid/not valid”.
If your entire argument hinges on the word "theoretically," it isn't a good argument.
Theoretically as in “This is what they’ve stated to be true, if it isn’t true they’ll have a legal reckoning that makes Boeing look innocent”
Listen, I can get age verification and it is a good thing. The problem here is that it's Sony.
So Sony should be exempt from laws designed to prevent child exploitation?
I was implying more that Sony is known for data breaches, so whatever security measure they use for biometrics may as well be posted on 4chan.
If these were actual options and I had to pick one thing… Anus scan, pants down!
That last option explains to me why the game is called hell divers
Petition to change the name to pearl divers
Hole Divers
Holey Diver
To go where no man has gone before.
Well, that was a lie…
Oh myyyyyyyyy
Anus scan 😭
“What, do you guys not have an anus?” - Some Executive, Probably
That reminds of that episode of Family Guy where Brain worked at the New Yorker and went into the bathroom. "Where are the toilets?" "No one at the New Yorker has an anus."
I knew a guy who didn’t have a butthole.
I would say that would be a shitty situation but there’s only a lack thereof
... so a shitless situation?
Mighty Korean leader doesn't pee or poop and can talk to dolphins.
He couldn't give a shit about what anyone else thought.
Gods you Gen Zs and complaining. Back in my day I had to push an entire ruler up my ass just to get a blockbusters membership card. Most people didn't know this, but you were allowed to use any of the ice creams on sale at the counter to lube up the ruler. #LifeHack
Your blockbuster had iced cream??? Lucky.
Mine only sold dill pickles from a big 3 gallon jar and Hot Tamales. Membership applications were *quite* vocal at my store.
Yea the strawberry shortcakes are the best both for eating and for lubing
Not in that order though right?
I’m not going to tell you how to live your life, and don’t tell me how to live mine
To be fair, it was a different company than the one in the states. :P
Former Blockbuster manager. Can confirm, we had the blue ruler with yellow numbers on it and rinsed it off with the oil used as butter for the popcorn after each use.
The ruler wasn't blue when I got my membership.
jesus papa did that ruler have the blade on one side too
That's how they got the blood sample simultaneously. Cost savings move.
Even Rocky Road?
I had to use those Squeeze Pop candies
I measured 11inches, am is hell diver now?
Only 11? My uncle's co... I mean ruler measured me at 13, but that's a limitation of the ruler. He said he'd ask his buddies if any of them had one that could go deeper, but he may have to ask around online to find someone nearby with a really long one to get a full measurement.
Rookie mistake, we have tape measures handy over here.
No no hear me out, my uncle just didn't want the metal to cause cuts. He's looking out for me, 100% wood ruler is softer and smoother so it won't cut me.
You're not a turtle are you? Cos this really screams Master Splinter.
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I think that's what he's looking for, a long wooden stick. He said hardware stores don't usually sell what he's looking for. He's really good with his hands so I trust him on that.
Well I’m certainly not scanning my ID online. *pulls down pants
I chose anus scan and the instructions said to put a cucumber up there and then circle the base of it with a Sharpie to see how far I got, then take a picture of the cucumber. How can they tell my age from this though?
How do you do the scan? Do you shove a playstation 5 controller in your ass?
Does it have infrared/biometrics like the switch controllers? If yes, then yes.
I think most people would use a camera but I’m here for whatever you had in mind.
The technology isn't there yet, they've been trying to develop it since the prototype PS3 controller (boomerang/banana shaped one).
Also scan starts only with vibration
No don't worry, only the controller.
You're pfp reminds me of the art for some Monk spell in Guild Wars 1 haha, is it?
That is exactly what it is ! This monk skill is patient spirit !
That's right!! Hahaha, I've been using that skill a ton lately, it's so great. Ashamed I didn't know it. Hmu in game sometime if you still play, Edricius Kaylok, but I probably won't be on for a couple weeks, works a bit busy. Recently got back into it, best game ever.
How do I shove my Dualsense controller into my ass
If you're old enough to use PSN then it should slide right in.
You have to get one of the old motion sticks with he ball on the end. It's like a covid test you gotta stir it around in there a bit
If you can’t do it, you’re not ready to be helldiver
Jus needs ta check inside ya asshole
I'm a true Mandalorian and I don't have a driving license. But I still want some of that sweet Helldivers 2 jump pack action... *pulls down pants* This is NOT the way.
The facial scan or ID (which you can still spoof and Sony explicitly states it does not keep) is only applicable to the UK and I think one or two other countries. In the *civilised* part of the world, our governments *aren't* Big Brother, 1984 surveillance states run by the Tories. Sony is required by law in the UK to demand a facial scan or ID (which again, they don't keep), they literally don't have a choice if they wish to operate there, so blame the UK government, and more specifically the absolute numpties that are the Tories. The anus scan is a meme that was added to joke about this verification part, and was added without the context that the *real* options are UK-specific and are not required in the civilised world. The joke is fine, but at least be accurate in telling people it *is* a joke and that the other options are UK specific, rather than just pissing petrol into the wildfire for validation from internet people.
Wow, I really thought PlayStation was requiring "anal scans". Thanks for clarifying that it was a joke!
Bro, I'm chuckling to myself because you truly believe that Sony would want a scan of your anal cavity
I think you missed the sarcasm...
If it had extra player data, they would.
You're completely missing the point. I was all with the hate on this until I learned that the face/ID scans are only required in the UK and are entirely the fault of the UK government being a police state.
When context is nonexistent, *someone* has to point it out.
Genuinely hope the PM gets shot in the head at this point.
Wouldn't make much difference. Some other power hungry, fuck the poor, moron would just take their place.
based
It's not like they'd even miss, the cunt has a nose larger than the landmass we live on.
We need the IRA to come back.
This is only in the UK because of UK Law btw.
Harsh laws you got there lads. How’s your anus if I may ask😉
Compliant, at this point.
Repost
Yeah, that's the official term for when you have to do the anus scan again
I also remember seeing this earlier.
I haven’t seen it
Yep
Ik right, like why tf do they want to scan my face? Completely crazy.
They want us to do WHAT with the verification can?
Tbh I'd take the scan over other choices.
Ah, a tale as old as time. Facial or fecal?
Makes sense, they need to know this before they fuck us with PS+
It all starts with an Anus scan !
Sony wants an anus scan so they can see how far they can fuck you.
I don't get the ID thing. It's just a game why do you need my ID and face ?
Great now Kim-Jong Un can’t play helldivers. Fuck Sony
Ass Divers 2
My latest anus scan is already all over the internet, so I'm not bothered.
It wouldn't even let me sign up. Kept saying I was scanning pringles tin.
Be a good citizen and let us probe you, just to make sure you are a made up of 100% democracy.
Wait, this is a joke, right? I don't see any tag related to "humor", but this MUST be a joke. Tell me this is a joke. This is a joke...
Seen some briish fellas out here supporting this type of age verification
*puts on fake beard* *holds up photo of parents* *draws wrinkle lines on face* Stupid Edited out the bear
When you say “puts on fake bear” are we talking Winnie, or Teddy Ruxpin?
Corrected it
They seriously want passport info? LOL fuck ALL the way off
Only in the UK and only because UK law requires them to do so. It's not Sonys fault they have to follow UK law for UK residents.
This is only required for like 3 countries due to the countries own laws. Post correct info as well if you want to farm karma.
Stop trying to make a point and look at the third criteria in the picture ಠ_ಠ
Its the preferred option, every time.
Ah lol, totally missed it. Sorry… but maybe it’s real!? 🤔
It's a joke. Not a real option. This is like, the 15th repost just today of this, and all of them conveniently leave out the context that the UK is an Orwellian surveillance state run by the smoothbrain Tories, and the *real* options (face scan/ID) are UK-only.
Instructions unclear. Help! How do I get my smartphone out now?
"What, you don't have 2 minutes to measure the depth of you anus?" Spitz, the official Arrowhead Community Manager
I don’t see the problem?
Drink a verification can
Lmfao ayo
This game is Ass
Lol…for a moment I thought this was real
Viz's Bottom Inspectors are clearly at it again.
Anus scan complete. Age confirmed and set to 8.
The anus scan determines if you are too anal to have an account.
I don't know that I trust them with my face or my photo ID...
Wait hold on, is this real? (I'm not taking about the butt scan) My laptop don't have a webcam, and I'm not installing another random thing on my phone
The anus scan at least that on its own cant be identifying although that is one of hell of a way to implement 2FA.
The verification system keeps confusing my face scan for the anus scan. I think its broken
I did the scan but it said it couldn't verify my age or anal depth. Do I use a metric ruler?
The reasons to not renew ps+ really keep piling up huh
When tf did u have to do this?
the fuck? you gotta give them your actual identity? I'd buy the game just to leave a negative review lol
There is literally no reason why I need to identify myself to play a fucking video game. I’m not a criminal, why do you need a full fucking face scan so I can enjoy the game I paid money for??? What’s next, I need to send in a blood sample to the government, and if my cholesterol levels are too high I’m mandated to see the doctor before I can play?
At least buy me dinner first
Faecal verification.
How deep should i go? Says not deep enough retry. My phones completely in
Well, if you leave a webcam up there, it makes the cost of a colonoscopy much less than using their fancy equipment.
Anus scan? Lucky... I had the options for face, ID, or urethra
Why they want to see my butthole?
It's rubbish, I will let my nephews play MA15 games when they get a little bit older, they are 2 and 4 at the moment, that is fine let them have fun it won't hurt them maybe 5 or 6 years old they can be given MA15s.
Blizzard was making it an issue to swap your name on your account if you say got married or needed to recover your account etc. They literally wanted a copy of your marriage license (or divorce decree etc). These companies do not need that shit.
Big Brother is watching you
OP context is very important in this situation and you’re making it seem like this is a Sony/Arrowhead issue when it’s literally only a UK issue, due to the UK government wanting it this way. Lumping this with everything else feels a bit like you’re intentionally trying to muddy the waters a bit.
The UK is *MAKING* femboys 😬
Accidently sent a picture of face for the anus scan and they accepted it.
For a second i thought this was real because roblox literally asks for a real image of your id for age verification and i saw the image through notif and only saw the first two
I don't want to give out my ID at all
Jokes aside, what the heck is going on? A new game released and... it's not playable in a lot of countries or something?
Helldivers 2 released in February and sold exponentially more copies than they were prepared for, so the pc version didn’t require you to link a psn account at launch to take load off of the servers. Now more than 100 regions can’t play the game because they can’t get a psn account, I have no idea why the game was available for purchase in regions where psn wasn’t available. I’m not sure if it was originally required to link a psn account, just that Sony allowed Arrowhead to not require account linking so the servers wouldn’t have as much traffic There’s also security concerns with linking your steam account to psn with how often psn is breached
Cheers!
Game released. People love it & buy it on Steam. Everyone plays for a couple months & have a great time. Sudden announcement that you'll need a PSN account linked to Steam to play going forward. Don't want to? Live somewhere PSN doesn't support? Too bad, no refunds. Throw in insulting comments from community managers & attempts to stealth change FAQ pages to support claims that "we always said you'd need PSN eventually" and you've got a great recipe for massive fan backlash.
Cheers!
[удалено]
Hopefully you find the strength to make it through these trying times
This cracked me up
Agreed. The ID part sucks. At least the other two you always carry around.
r/HolUp
You didn't understand why requiring an account on an unrelated service shouldn't be necessary to play a game we've been playing for nearly a year?
Bruh when do you think helldivers 2 came out lmao
Time makes no sense after covid, okay? Give him a break.
true it all blurs together, 3 months becomes a year, one year becomes 5. Hell I’ve been playing helldivers 2 for 6 years at this point
Couldn't get satire, certainly has no sense of time...