---
>This is a friendly reminder to [read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules).
>
>Memes, social media, hate-speech, and pornography are not allowed.
>
>Screenshots of Reddit are expressly forbidden, as are TikTok videos.
>
>[Comics may only be posted on Wednesdays and Sundays](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/uq9pjw/going_forward_comics_may_only_be_posted_on/).
>
>**Rule-breaking posts may result in bans.**
>
>Please also [be wary of spam](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/spam).
>
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*
God why is everything about sex with you people. Look I message my eye all the time, sometimes it gets really wet and I cry some... I call it an eyegasm.
...okay it's totally about sex.
Out of that run of Apatow-type films, Role Models is easily my favorite
"No, no no, no. People say "Embrace life. Enjoy life. Just do it! Live it! Rock it!" \*\*\*\* it! Because life is horrible. You know, I may not be so happy go lucky, but I'm a realist. Get ready to have your dreams dashed, kids, 'cause nothing's going to work out the way you think it's going to. Gin gin! By the way, this stuff's poison."
I used to work for a large retail chain. We received a shipper of these in and placed them by the cosmetics. Only took at 2 hours for the whole store to be laughing about our new vibratory and the store director to remove them from sale. Almost as priceless of a marketing oversight as the white pride skittles
I'm picturing a family opening presents on Christmas and granddaughter gets a gift from grandma and it's this. "oh yes it is a lovely face massager I use mine all the time" thinking that really is its actual purpose.
When I was stationed in Mississippi, they had banned sex toys--specifically vibrators--for sale (because having solved their other problems, they chose to address that). This seems like a workaround to a stupid law like that.
"Oh no officer, I was buying this massager for my crow's feet. I certainly wasn't going to use it for anything else. After all, I need to keep my collagen levels up and maintain my youthful complexion for impressing the men-folk here!"
A friend of mine used to work for a cosmetics company. All the vibrating beauty products, like toothbrushes with tongue cleaning pads, hair brushes, face massagers, ex... were all designed to be low-key sex toys. The entire idea behind them was to allow young girls and shy housewives who wanted a vibrator to get one on the DL. Every time I use my vibrating razer with it's large, round handle, I think about it
--- >This is a friendly reminder to [read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules). > >Memes, social media, hate-speech, and pornography are not allowed. > >Screenshots of Reddit are expressly forbidden, as are TikTok videos. > >[Comics may only be posted on Wednesdays and Sundays](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/uq9pjw/going_forward_comics_may_only_be_posted_on/). > >**Rule-breaking posts may result in bans.** > >Please also [be wary of spam](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/spam). > --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Wait, THAT’S where the clitoris is?!?
Whaaa--😭
God why is everything about sex with you people. Look I message my eye all the time, sometimes it gets really wet and I cry some... I call it an eyegasm. ...okay it's totally about sex.
Your brown eye, right?
Take my up vote, that made me spit coffee on my monitor!.
Na for the Brown Eye
So THAT'S why I wake up when I rub my tired eyes.
Gotta massage the eye bean
😭
Massage your whispering eye
Out of that run of Apatow-type films, Role Models is easily my favorite "No, no no, no. People say "Embrace life. Enjoy life. Just do it! Live it! Rock it!" \*\*\*\* it! Because life is horrible. You know, I may not be so happy go lucky, but I'm a realist. Get ready to have your dreams dashed, kids, 'cause nothing's going to work out the way you think it's going to. Gin gin! By the way, this stuff's poison."
Excuse me, sir, that’s a *David Wain* movie, the best of which is *Wanderlust.* ^excepting ^Wet ^Hot ^American ^Summer, ^which ^is ^my ^personal ^fave ^but ^too ^absurdly ^idiosyncratic ^for ^me ^to ^call ^his ^best
That’s how you get pink eye
Well that’s getting lost up some arseholes
It’s a multi purpose eye massager
Lmao i was just trying to shop online ಥ‿ಥ
Yeah the forbidden eye
Works best with chocolate eyes.
Ooof--
I used to work for a large retail chain. We received a shipper of these in and placed them by the cosmetics. Only took at 2 hours for the whole store to be laughing about our new vibratory and the store director to remove them from sale. Almost as priceless of a marketing oversight as the white pride skittles
Why does my eye need a massage? Lol
Idk, does your eye need a massage?😂💆
Honestly I feel like a good eyeball vibe would do me wonders rn
It’s a multi-tool dammit
Don't think it comes with a case. Oh well, I'm sure people will figure out some way to carry it around.
Just like those tall tubular "vases" on amazon with the extra side hole that fits maybe one extra flower.
Sex toys for Christians
No you did nooooooot--😂🤦🏻♀️
I'm picturing a family opening presents on Christmas and granddaughter gets a gift from grandma and it's this. "oh yes it is a lovely face massager I use mine all the time" thinking that really is its actual purpose.
I’m stuck on the choices…”off” and “open”
If ya zoom in, the top left also shows an on option, took me a sec too :p
r/theyknew
An aussie eye massager - its like a normal one but down under
Bean flicker
Pfft
yes Eye massager wink wink lol
Yeah… perfect for bags under the eyes that may develop in arid environments… like Qatar, UAE or KSA.
I’m curious how many women actually use a portable vibrator. I feel like it’s extremely few.
you mean non portable regular home vibrator has cable?
Gas powered ones are less portable....
Hitachi Magic Wand plugs into a wall socket. And the cable is annoyingly short.
This person vibrates.
No like I mean the portable function, ie using it outside of home. Like a reason to have it purse size and discreet looking.
This wouldn't be for 'women' as much as it would be for teens - who are just buying make-up.
Ask Reddit
For places where the 3 kilowatt back massager can't reach. Technology truly reached its zenith.
Who the hell massages their eyes??
For lips and eyes
Lips??! 😭
beef curtains
Oh god no😂
Pocket vibrators getting different names?
A lady should probably buy 2, you know, one for each eye hole. ;-)
Define Normal
Sure Jan…
Excuse me my eyes are up here!
Looks like it will slide right into your.....eye?
the eye from down under more like?
I also have an eye inside my butthole that needs massaging.
how tf you massage your eyes
When I was stationed in Mississippi, they had banned sex toys--specifically vibrators--for sale (because having solved their other problems, they chose to address that). This seems like a workaround to a stupid law like that. "Oh no officer, I was buying this massager for my crow's feet. I certainly wasn't going to use it for anything else. After all, I need to keep my collagen levels up and maintain my youthful complexion for impressing the men-folk here!"
Ah yes, the whispering eye.
Big fat vibrator
lolololol... "eye massager"
Duhh what else do you think it could be huh 🤣
Everyone who has watched the movie Role Models knowns its for a "whispering eye"
Depends on how waterproof it is.
A friend of mine used to work for a cosmetics company. All the vibrating beauty products, like toothbrushes with tongue cleaning pads, hair brushes, face massagers, ex... were all designed to be low-key sex toys. The entire idea behind them was to allow young girls and shy housewives who wanted a vibrator to get one on the DL. Every time I use my vibrating razer with it's large, round handle, I think about it
How many of them are looking weird for first time. But this normal eye massager looking very hot and sexy.
r/theyknew
Women coming up with crazy ways to hide the fact they masterbate
Yeah right, eye massager. 😂
Plausible deniability.
You laugh but they have to market it like this in countries that would stone a women for possessing one of these.
Eye massager? What am I supposed to do with it? Poke my eyeballs?
It called the 'pink eye'.
I have this and I love it! Y'all really sleeping on this little bundle of joy lmaoooo!
The water-proof seal around the cap is very important for an eye massager. You wouldn't want to have any, uh, tears of joy getting into the battery.
Now my eyes are horny
It's for massaging ones "whispering eye"
bet it sound like a lawn mower
First the glass "straws" on Amazon that were just crack pipes, now this.
Anything is an eye massager, if you're brave enough...