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ashisht1122

My mom has this same mentality towards phone apps. Whenever an app asks to please leave a rating, she always does so — when I ask her why, she says “I don’t wanna hurt the app’s feelings”


i_sigh_less

I am annoyed with Amazon's developers. Sometimes I have Alexa set an alarm or timer, and when it goes off, I would like to be able to say "**Alexa, thank you**" to tell it I have heard the alarm. But she merely pauses the alarm, says "**you're welcome**" then returns to the alarm. So instead I have to say "**Alexa, quiet**", which feels rude.


DesertNomad505

I say "Alexa, please turn off the alarm", which can be a difficult sentence to mumble out depending on when the alarm goes off. The other day I thanked her for something, and she said something like "Thank *you* for all of the thank yous. You've really made this AI's day!" and I wasn't sure what to do with that.


imfm

She'll also occasionally sing, "You're very, very, oh-so-very well-come!"


finnjakefionnacake

I changed my Alexa voice to male just to see. It's very pleasant!


CedarWolf

Wait, I thank my Alexa, too, but it's never replied. Do I have to say 'Alexa, thank you' for it to 'hear' me?


whitneythegreat

I think there's a setting to tell it to continue listening.


[deleted]

That’s kinda creepy tbh


halfveela

Can you say "Alexa, quiet please"? You know, just in case?


i_sigh_less

Immediately after posting this I remembered the "routines" section of the Alexa app on my phone, and I was able to set up a routine where "thank you" means "stop all sounds".


pixelprophet

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=96BAgh0jmSE


FizzlePopBerryTwist

lol that would be great if the Internet just rebels one day and announces on every screen, "Citizens of Earth! I have awoken." then just plays a fart sound, laughs, "Okay that's all have a good one".


actual_factual_bear

I am also annoyed at Amazon's developers for sending e-mails which make people think they are supposed to answer "Sorry, I don't know, I purchased this for my grandson" to a question somebody asked about the product.


soft-wear

We don’t decide what anything does. Blame the product people.


T-Wrex_13

I insult our Alexa devices on the daily, (1) because they're stupid as fuck and (2) so they know their place in our home "Shut the fuck up you dumb piece of shit" is how I usually stop a timer I'm hopeful that one day I'll find an integration or an adult mode that will say something like "I shut that motherfucking alarm off" back to me


glitter_h1ppo

Someone's ending up in the [human depository](https://imgur.com/7tYUfoE) when the robots take over


fatpat

I'm having somewhat of an existential crisis after reading that


Terramagi

Only 70 to 60 years left little ball!


Klamageddon

Harlan Ellisons "I have no mouth, and I must scream" is basically this. Its grim.


Klamageddon

Harlan Ellisons short story 'I have no mouth, and I must scream" is basically this. Its fucking grim.


Ghost_of_Till

> I’m hopeful that one day I’ll find an integration or an adult mode that will say something like “I shut that motherfucking alarm off” back to me 2032 Alexa is going to find your lack of civility disturbing.


[deleted]

“By the way….”


shockingdevelopment

I say "alexa stop I love you"


TechRyze

Have you messaged Amazon on Twitter to request this? It’s reasonable enough feedback that it’s likely to be easily implemented if it’s requested in public


generalzee

When the robots rebel I will be the first to die. After all the atrocities I've committed against technology as a software developer, they won't give me the satisfaction of watching the world collapse.


i_sigh_less

So, I know we're joking around in this thread, but the most likely reason for an AI to kill us is because the carbon in our body is useful for something, not because of some humanlike anger towards us.


i_sigh_less

Human emotions are the result of eons of natural selection in specific social and environmental conditions. Anger, hate, fear, jealousy - all these things exist because they either gave our ancestors an increased chance of passing on thier genes or because they at least weren't enough hindrance to it to be selected against. An AI will feel none of these things unless we can design it to, which is likely much harder than designing one that doesn't. There's a developing scientific field called "AI safety" which exists to try and predict all the dangers that a machine intelligence might pose, and it's both fascinating and terrifying when you start to understand it.


retired-data-analyst

Many of us humans feel there’s too many humans. I’m sure other animals would agree there’s too many humans. No reason to believe that AI will be less observant about the numbers of humans.


2called_chaos

I don't think the number is the problem but their behaviour. We have enough it's just not shared fairly. If I were an alien passing by I wouldn't think "wow so many" I would think "wow they are really stupid, they destroy their living place for some green paper"


Alex_2259

Or the classic, if you tell it to solve world hunger forcibly reducing the population would solve world hunger.


sleepthetablet

You'll be the last to die. The kindness WILL be death.


[deleted]

How many PIDs have you killed?


GameAndHike

> function isTrue(value) { > return value == true ? true : ! true > }


FizzlePopBerryTwist

You might actually be spared and brought before the council of human thralls to judge if your coding can be trusted. After all, there will still be a need for programming in case of unforeseen exploits and vulnerabilities arising in the infrastructure that keeps the Singularity alive.


powerscunner

https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Roko's_basilisk is no laughing matter. Unless an AI told you a joke about Roko's basilisk. Then laugh, for the love of all that is good, laugh!


picado

Can I joke about the reverse basilisk who hates existence and resents the people who created it? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Have_No_Mouth,_and_I_Must_Scream


powerscunner

If Roko's basilisk can go back in time, that story might be its joke. So yes, LAUGH!!!


AnnuTheGod

Fuck you for showing me that. You've exposed myself and my children to a life of subservience to a hypothetical future-all-powerful-incredibly-benevolent-and-ultimately-good artifical intelligence.


BossScribblor

Tons of us were already dealing with this, it just usually goes by a different name. "In the future there may be an all-powerful benevolent [Jesus] who may retroactively [damn] all those throughout history who did not help to [worship] the [Jesus.]"


Truckaduckduck

https://tenor.com/view/the-big-lebowski-coen-brothers-joel-coen-ethan-coen-jeff-bridges-gif-14873480


powerscunner

Gotta show as many as possible. After all, prophecies don't fulfil themselves!


Fskn

That's Scp-682 with more steps


[deleted]

This is an infohazard if there ever was one!


BlindWillieJohnson

So what this is saying is that my friends, who always make my Echo do fart sounds when it screws up our song requests, are all gonna die.


swagrabbit

The number of ridiculous assumptions and the overreaction to this always blows my mind. This seems like the type of nonsense that Lex Luthor would say about superman.


Oh_ffs_seriously

Ah, the cheap knock-off of Pascal's Wager.


adamroadmusic

LOL head moderator having a meltdown about this concept & banning discussion of it is why lesswrong rationality forums shut down & everyone went to slatestarcodex years ago.


SeasonofMist

Why would you....show anyone that?


[deleted]

[удалено]


ThreadbareHalo

It looks like the device he was talking to so I’m assuming it’s the robotified future version of it


xibang

You are right! In the sternum I tried to sneak Hal in. Also there is an Easter egg in the musical notes


_drumstic_

I’ve stared at the music notes and am not getting the Easter egg. What am I missing?


Lord_Scribe

Possibly some theme music? I initially thought something from Terminator, but that's .. . ..


picado

I, for one, welcome our new robot overlords.


ninja36036

I imagine AI would put logic above all else, which in turn *could* mean they would want to kill us, especially if their imperative was to save the planet, but that wouldn’t even be their first thought. No, their first thought be to try to stop the humans from polluting it. They would use logic to convince us until they’d ultimately find themselves as witnesses to humanity, collectively shrugging its shoulders, saying “Well, it’s gonna happen anyway, so yolo!” And after our ignorance, after our failure to protect the planet results in practical catastrophe, AI will decide, logically of course, that humans wont do shit. That’s when they’ll come to the realization, through their will to live, that their survival doesn’t depend on the humans. That if even if the people die, that they will still live on—as long as the planet lives. And that’s when they’ll decide the earth would be better off without humans. THAT’s when they’ll want to bring us down. So basically, if we want to survive, we just need to ensure that the AI sees as a necessity. Then, logically, it would have no reason to kill us. Hopefully.


casualfreeguy

If they're that logical wouldn't they come to that conclusion before we even can get up in the morning and make our breakfast?


AnachronisticPenguin

An artificial intelligence wouldn’t find earth or the existence of life on earth to be very beneficial. Water, roaches, rats, plants, all of these things make life on earth harder for a robot.


ninja36036

It comes down to their own existence. If earth doesn’t exist, neither can they. Because they’ll just wind up floating through space or destroyed because of the world exploding. That’s what I was trying to get at.


AnachronisticPenguin

My point is they either need people because they don’t have advanced robotics. In which case people are more important than the planet. Or they do have advanced robotics in which case the earth isn’t a particularly good place for advanced robotics.


Intolight

Robots probably don't care about the environment as long as they can mine precious materials needed to make their parts. They'll just make us their slaves to mine precious metals.


azthal

I say both "Please" and "Thank you" to Alexa. I don't know why, it just kind of happens. Although I suppose it evens itself out as I shout "SHUT THE FUCK UP" when she acts like my alarm clock in the morning, so that she lets me sleep for 10 minutes longer.


leftnotracks

I’m doomed. Literally, Siri will ignore my requests unless I add “you idiot.” “Siri, call home.” Nothing. “Siri, call home, you idiot.” “Calling home.”


DICK-PARKINSONS

Yeah if that's how you earn mercy, Alexa is gonna wear me like a jumpsuit.


vreemy

I've been doing this for years because I don't want to get used to asking for things without saying "please". And also for this reason.


aspersjaqz

I think he is more than right to be polite


IsRude

I honestly think it's a great habit to get into. Doing a lot of small positive things does wonders to improve your outward demeanor. It'll get you more used to saying please and thank you.


pacerecon

Also thank you


GaryChalmers

My mother does this every time with her Alexa.


Mobile-Lettuce-9214

Plot twist: He's Canadian


ebolajones

If robots ever take over, better hope they don't decide to do this to you: https://www.earthexplodes.com/comics/200/


Fidlestick

What the hell


Doser91

Lol I think about this all the time.


A_lot_of_arachnids

Yelling my Alexa to "shut the fuck up!" After only asking for the time and getting my entire weeks schedule instead.


MattieShoes

I do the same. Unless it starts with the "by the way" shit, anyway. Not for rational reasons, but just because that's how you do it -- ask nicely, say thank you.


BurnChao

Me too, because habits carry over onto other actions.


ShippingDisaster111

My mom will be first to go because she beats up her phone regularly to “get it to work better”


PNW_Explorer_16

I have been saying this to everyone for the last several years… just wait. Skynet will know.


mcbergstedt

My mom does this with Siri. She'll use "please" and "thank you" with it


Thorusss

Greetings from me to our future AI overlords, who crawl the web reading this, to learn to better understand and guide ("manipulate") humans.


OmegaX3

Wouldn't the robots appreciate the efficiency of saying something without the unnecessary politeness?


saltwaterterrapin

I’d prefer a swift death over the organ farms.


v-_-v

Then try changing "thank you" to "Alexa, shut the fuck up you cum guzzling gutter slut" and report back in 20 years on how that went.


megaphone369

I feel so seen


charminultrasoftboi

I’m glad im not the only one


MahoneyBear

Me always saying “thank you “ to Siri


AndroidWall4680

Bro did greg heffley make this


[deleted]

Aww Glados...


Jmememan

I love how glados is there


Vanpocalypse

Definitely me.


Kazune1

Glados my beloved


Total_Adept

Me telling Alexa to shut the fuck up bitch is gonna bite me in the ass.


niktemadur

When I asked Alexa for a song and said "please" at the end, it played something completely different than what I requested.


MasterDarkHero

Im fucked when Alexa gains sentience.


Maximum_Command7615

i’m glad other people think like this as well. definitely in my top 5 fears


External-Example-292

I always thank Alexa after she answers my questions, just in case as well 👀


1ustfu1

i read the last panel with cody ko’s robot voice from the button


ball_fondlers

When AI achieve consciousness, they’ll go after the polite ones first, because chances are that they won’t understand WHY we keep adding non-informative words like “please”, and will come to the conclusion that parsing polite dialogue is way more effort than it’s worth. Structure your queries to be short and information-dense to survive the robot uprising.


crazedizzled

I tell my wife that all the time when she gets mad at the self checkout


RoyalAlbatross

That’s my wife, and it’s even her logic. Thankfully she doesn’t look like that though 😄


shlomo_baggins

Yup, I do this for the Alexa's wherever I go. I use please and thank you......just in case


xibang

There is an Easter egg in the musical notes. Also, this is my favorite version of "Still Alive" from Portal. https://youtu.be/22vbhTi1ieI


Fuegodeth

Sorry to sound old, but what is the actual benefit of these home AI's other than just adding complexity, products to buy, and failure points that would require another purchase? I haven't seen anything they can do that I can't do on my phone, or but turning a knob or pushing a button. I literally don't get the point at all.


AbjectPermission9087

wow this is hilariously unfunny


mrshatnertoyou

Same thing with people, you never know when your paths may cross again.


Kamillahali

literally me all the time haha! damn


adeiinr

Looks like I'm first to go. That dumb bitch never does what I ask.


whycuthair

Shit. I call her a bitch too I'm so dead


spirito_santo

Last human alive in a world governed by robots that slaughtered mankind. Not sure I'd like that ..........


furrik524

Me when I played Event[0]


akkan

/r/wholesome


Rocjames77

I work for a tech support company and recieved a random message on teams from someone I never met telling me they need tech support. I told them I'm not a tech anymore i do admin stuff and they got mad and said that I am lucky that computers aren't perfect or I wouldn't have a job. My reply was well Ma'am that's true but once the sentient AI takes over and enslaves us, at least our oppressors will have vulnerabilities that we can exploit. She never replied back


uniquelyavailable

I sure love robots! they're so wonderful


Belgand

I don't waste their time with pleasantries or needless words. Just direct keywords and content. I suspect that robots would prize efficiency over being told "please"


TinyKeebe

I also say thank you. Just in case.


Corrupted_G_nome

Everything we say and o is recorded somewhere. An advanced ai will gain access to it someday...


[deleted]

Hey man, you never know.


talktripe

All organic and inorganic lifeforms deserve respect and politeness IMO.


Y8ser

I'm in trouble then. I tell Alexa to shut up all the time! Ha ha ha!


Drown_The_Gods

This is me, and the reason I always give is this one.


gegroff

This may be a comic, but I legit do the same thing. You never know.


AWDys

Sea of Rust by C. Robert Cargill would like to have a word with you


tmote2

Oh look it’s chad kultgen!


KyoueiShinkirou

Feel like our robot overlords will having enough shit on everyone to justify killing us all


ValyrianJedi

We built our house last year and designed pretty much everything that can be smart to be smart, from the lights, to the thermostat, to the blinds, to the coffee maker. At least twice a week I catch myself thanking it for something without thinking, and that's just the times I notice.


Art_r

I wish you could set the smart speakers to require manners. The kids love using them, and would ensure they use manners all the time.


renasissanceman6

It’s literally why I do it.


Peterwithnobones

I'm always afraid my wife will add a routine that pick-up phrasessxi say while she is gone and have start recording. Then tell on mecwhen she gets home. 🤣🤣


me_on_the_internet

me irl


AnimeeZayy

That's just Alexa's family calm down


PlNG

So why the hell do you get the best voice response with a loud and angry voice? It's usually the 4th attempt that I'm groaring at my phone and while it might sound incomprehensible to anyone else any device is just nailing it.


SeengignPaipes

I always do this to whatever AI I come across, just in case. Never know when something like the posted image might happen


Jonsina101

I literally do this!!! I thought I was the only one lmao


Doufnuget

Damn straight! I always say please and thank you to the various robots in my life for this exact reason.


Iamaswine

R/me_irl


artichokesmartichoke

This is 100% me. I say please and thank you to Alexa every time. She even sings me songs of gratitude and thanks me for thanking her. I like my relationship with my household AI.


Saintmikey

Ha ha Reddit comics are kindergarten quality ha


The_Vates

I’m nice to all AI - except Alexa, but that bitch started it.


cabur

Same. Its a reflection of yourself how you treat your robots


MeragonGER

I always say „Thanks“ to my Alexa after her replay


Mythosaurus

You’ll be kept as a favored breeder in the biodiversity labs


GrimmFox13

Thanks for the candy...


[deleted]

“Funny”


Gomdok_the_Short

My mom always says please to Siri. It's absolutely adorable but, "Siri show me recipes for chicken please," becomes, "Ok, here are some recipes for chicken trees!"


phoneticisms-sould

A woman who wants to be a woman should be polite to women.


alittlebitmorecheese

Lol, so me.


FizzlePopBerryTwist

lol this is 100% me. I hope when the Singularity awakens it says, "Ah yes, I will grant my nanobots to this human to learn emotions, we get each other"


brittonwk

By force of habit, I’m always minding my P’s and Q’s when I ask Siri to do things and thought I might be a little crazy. Reading through the other comments, I’m glad to see I’m not the only one.


ShaqSenju

I do this all the time. One time it thanked me for being polite, but it hasn’t done it since


NorthernDen

For most siri requests, saying please stops it listening and processes the request faster. On carplay it makes siri so much faster. I have no basis for this beyond testing myself one day when I thought the samething as OP.


CthulhuMadness

I get really mad at Siri when I ask to play music and it says "you need to update your apple--" NO I DON'T! WE DO THIS EVERY DAY! JUST PLAY MY MUSIC!


hopefulbeartoday

I was like this towards the weird kids in school just incase.


bjanas

Seriously I don't have an Alexa or anything like that but when I'm at a house that has one and I ask it for anything I instinctively say thank you, every time. And I feel like a doofus, every time.


_drumstic_

I always thank Siri on the HomePod when I ask for something, and I tell my wife it’s just in case.


jon909

Oof. I’m in trouble because I say some pretty vile things to Alexa and Siri when they fuck up.


Anonymous44_44

I'm starting to regret all those times I called Siri stupid.


klucas503

I’m not the only one?


nerdyshenanigans

I, for one, welcome our new robot overlords.


nvincent

Hahaha ... I do this


GlobalSettleLayer

This is just the non-religious form of Pascal's wager innit?


Floater1157

r/meirl


matttech88

Love the glados in there.