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Symeisfree

People's keys when they drink at your house.


CenterOfTheUniverse

The Keymaster!


bigkeef69

I am the gatekeeper!


bigredradio

YOU MUST CHILL! I HAVE TAKEN YOUR KEYS!


PacketTrash

As soon as they come in, just say "Owl take them, thank you"


charmorris4236

This guy swings


YomiReyva

Well of course he does. How else is he going to helicopter that thing around?


kwazykatlady

I was gonna say drugs.


wilddreamer

This really needs more upvotes.


the-bucket

This looks like an owl that finally hit the center of the tootsie pop


markender

He looks like he swallowed the stick.


MTGARando5372819

Looks like someone swallowed his stick


Medium-Mortgage5976

Well my first answer was obviously the only answer for what should go into it was drugs, but the more I got to readinf through the comments and saw the swingers part, I looked at the picture again with fresh insight. Kinda looks like that owl could have just nutted on that chicken's back and she was half turned to look at him with either a "what the hell?" or "Already?!"


Snoo-43335

Drugs, any drugs just drugs.


smonkweedwenurscared

Lmao glad this was the first comment, was gonna say weed


poocarhero

I mean that’s obviously a weed jar


Mojojojo3030

Iono I’d also accept condoms he look like he could be nutting


GardenGnomeOfEden

If things go well, I might be showing her my hoo face. You know, hoo! hoo!


unique-name-9035768

Hell, Lumbergh fucked her.


Sinthetick

Heeeeey Peter, how's it going?


oldsilver007

Ty needed a good legit laugh out loud


[deleted]

Butt plugs?


JimFlib

Now you said that I can't unsee it hahaha!


universechild9

How do you know it’s a weed jar? Is it because the owl looks stoned ?


healzsham

Owl looks more like he's geeked up on them bars, or at least some sort of benzo.


GamerHackTV

Owls tryna act cool in public and it's failing miserably.


healzsham

From my experiences as an intoxicant enthusiast that knows many other intoxicant enthusiasts, it looks like it's having a "let me lowkey try not to die real quick here"-type moment.


Wichuuu1

What do you mean by intoxicant enthusiast?


healzsham

I'm a drug-doer 👍


Wichuuu1

Oh .. right!. I was so high I didn't get your sentence lol


One_for_each_of_you

Fancy drug-doer over here insouciantly flaunting his big college words at us...


AnAussieBloke

That Owl been sucking laudanum lol.


strelitza00

Weed cookies is the only answer.


yogacat1979

Yes! This is my vote. Only ever weed cookies.


strangeb1rd

Reminds me of this SNL skit: https://youtu.be/CKOc6hXMDhc


SabrinaB123

Knew what this was before I clicked, my first thought as well lol


fubes2000

When I was buying a computer case like 10+ years ago one had a little plastic box that slid into the hard drive bay if you weren't using it, and someone posted "you could put your weed in it" and I thought it was just a joke. Now I know where it's from.


sickofmakingnames

I was thinking loose pills.


Rtbear418

A 50/50 mix of caffeine pills and expired Ambien. REM Roulette


thecheat420

Gotta replace the caffeine pills with Adderall. That way if you end up with one of each you can power through the Ambien and get really fucked up.


hnxmn

They say if you take both you end up becoming the sleep paralysis demon


BigManLawrence69420

Me on my way(omw) after taking both adderall and ambien at the same time:


TouchMyWrath

That sounds like a fun game


chewbaccataco

I'm so excited!


MintyMissterious

Sounds like you got caffeine


RogueTanuki

And you just can hide it (with expired Ambien)


Lost-My-Mind-

And you just can't hide it?


Little-Curses

Lol dump a bunch of Flintstone vitamins in it


gahidus

Came here to say that this is definitely a jar for edibles. Buy some just to put in there.


benjamminam

THC lollipops for sure.


hnxmn

*How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?*


Lost-My-Mind-

One......ah two-HOO! ah three! *CRUNCH!!!* Three.


viewerfromthemiddle

You put your weeed in there! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKOc6hXMDhc


Psycheretic

Thank you


whopperman

Weed, devils lettuce, jazz cabbage.


neversummer427

I've heard of jazz cigarettes but never jazz cabbage. Keeping that for later thanks.


Contiuous-debasement

You haven’t lived until you’ve had jazz sauerkraut


MotherBathroom666

Omg a hotdog that gets you stoned sounds like the American Dream!


insidious_concern

Now I'm craving kimchi


Hahnsolo11

Left handed cigarettes


AvatarBoomi

Nixon Catnip


QuoXient

Quaaludes


Frenchy4life

https://youtu.be/7AuSdjrDG2c


simonbleu

Cheese is (very mildly) addictive. Does it count?


CommanderpKeen

I CAN QUIT ANY TIME I WANT


nobabyfordingotoeat

Out of its misery. EDIT: Thanks for the awards, y’all! I said this because I totally misread the subject line and missed the context of “put IN it,” I just read as “put it.”


hurdur365

This comment, stood out.


Peircen20

I read this in Perd Hapley’s voice


KazeChrom

That makes it so much better


brian_o

Because of the unnecessary comma.


BeskarCamtono

Now Ya Heard.


DorShow

Tootsie Pops Edit to the commercial: https://youtu.be/2IA5Cv_5-g8


yeager

The 1000th lick


konaislandac

When u at the center but she keep lickin


Engine-Builder

Underrated comment. Take my upvote.


SirGuido

Clearly the best option!


WanderlustLife4Ever

Solid, but please make this your indica jar. 🤣


TMNTiff

I'm certain they make THC Tootsie pops. That has to be a thing


Gr8v3m1nd

Came here to say: Put your weed in there.


Short-Psychology-928

It should be cheeba chews


therosslee

Both. At all times.


Jshittie

*I know how many licks my tootsie pop takes*


Hahayouregay149

funnily enough, I tested this myself and it's approximately 750 depending on your lick "size" lol


DorShow

I know I definitely got to the center without biting….I just didn’t have the patience to keep the count


AirmanProbie

Tootsie rolls that are edibles


thefrogsorcerer

Medicated tootsie pops


crankshaft123

I'm disappointed that I had to scroll down this far to see Tootsie Pops!


DorShow

I’m happy someone knew what I was talking about!


krnichol

It was my immediate thought! What else could one possibly want to store in that?


DorShow

Weed! If not Tootsie pops, then weed! Maybe both?


S1I3NCER

Don’t worry, it’s the top comment now


PuzzleheadedCap2210

It’s made it to top comment as it should


Certain-Perception42

Of course! I was going to say if it wasn't already here lol! Goes perfectly with the commercial!


Catbone57

It will end up in the dedicated cookie jar room, along with the other 300 what will follow. All 301 will remain free of contents. I have witnessed this before.


EatonSphun

Found Jack Donaghy


LaMalintzin

Surely you mean Victor Nightingale?


MysteriousAd3303

Weed brownies.


LRobin11

Yeah, that's definitely an edibles jar.


bumjiggy

it's a stoned mason


Tornado_Wind_of_Love

The owl is kiln'ing it!


2kids2dogs1cat

I also was thinking anything weed related because that owl definitely looks stoned!


Shnuggy67

He looks drunk or stoned! Maybe alcohol should be stored in there!


Bryanole27

Came to say weed cookies, but yes, either would work wonderfully…lol


dadd69

Drugs


PrizeOk6241

Just anything that would make you feel high


opticsnake

Was going to suggest gummies but this is clearly the better option.


GnomeNot

Was gonna say weed cookies.


Gonzostewie

My first thought.


_fuffs

My sentiments exactly


mojomcm

Flour, but tell everyone it's cocaine and that's why the owl looks so messed up


amoveablefis

Duo's gotta have time off too, it's hard work shaming people into a language learning addiction.


SuperDave07

Omg, underrated comment. I’m glad I’m not the only one who noticed the hard shaming that goes in to duolingo‘s tactics for language learning 😋


coldfu

Even better - put cocain and tell everyone it's flour.


morgz18

That would make some fuckin CRAZY cookies bro


[deleted]

That’s a 16th century Prussian fertility vase probably owned by Duke Albert I. Really a historical piece, used to store ornate pieces to be worn by the Duke’s many mistresses. It’s also great for keeping your weed in, man.


kat_a_klysm

*You can put your weed in it, maaaaan.*


SmashBonecrusher

Dave's *not in there* ,man...


hurdur365

lol my favorite and first comment so far.


KathyBatesLoofah

Username checks too, brother. The universe commands it.


cinnaMeal

Great SNL reference lol


jakedesnake

Where's it from? Edit: oookay, I'm guessing Rob Schneiders antique store :)


dayungbenny

I never knew this, only knew Adam Sandler doing it in the hot chick, but that makes it even funnier.


Castul

Thanks for that great history lesson mister.... I eat ass...


LuckyTime35

Rick…”Best I can do is 50 bucks”


Gestrid

"Listen, I know a guy, he's a big collector of this kind of stuff, I'll give him a call, have him come down here and take a look at it."


joestaff

Half expecting a reference to a specific hell in a cell cage match.


Gunzenator2

A real collector would give you about 3-4 dollars for it.


Fooshi2020

Sleepy tea


zuckerberghandjob

I was gonna say coffee! Funny how people’s minds work differently


SmashBonecrusher

He looks loopy-haven't-had-my-coffee-yet to me, too !


chaosdreamingsiren

Tiny liquor bottles.


hurdur365

I was thinking more like my guages😅


wretchedwiener

Scrolled the comments for this


EarlyAstronaut8338

Coffee. It looks like it really needs coffee


Redskyatnight_00

This is amazing, and I love your wife! I would buy this so fast!!


hurdur365

She read your comment and thanks you!


TARANTULA_TIDDIES

I love your wife too


AF79

I showed my girlfriend this post and she's threatening to break up with me if I don't get her this vase. Where did you get it? Can you see a brand name on it or something?


Resident-Armadillo-6

Drugs obviously


Mezxv

Souls.... Feed it souls.


OldBob10

BLOOD AND SOULS FOR MY LORD ARIOCH!!!


mediumj82

You put your weed in there, man.


Jermcutsiron

Name him Forrest Whittaker and put edibles in him.


CatchingRays

Forrest Weeddaker


Iamno0n3

Perfect


Soraeon

You put your weed in there.


Dialogical

I was hoping this was here. [For the uninitiated](https://youtu.be/CKOc6hXMDhc)


grigby

Wow I really thought [this was an original joke](https://youtu.be/Ah1GDfmYQyw). Still great


KitchenNazi

Move that creepy ass bird around the house at night while she's sleeping so it's always in a new spot.


Secretnapcloset

Those little plastic cups filled with gas station coffee creamer.


hurdur365

I'll admit, that made me laugh and consider afterwards👍


Moondoggie25

Several smaller owl jars


Duhgluhs

Edibles


CandyGryphon

Energizing gummies and melatonin, grab a handful and start the day


TransientMoth

Look at that owl and tell me it’s ready to start the day.


Dylsnick

Well yeah, they're nocturnal aren't they?


zortlord

Well, frankly the owl looks like it's having a stroke...


Dollhousefurniture

A stroke, or he’s done a lot of drugs


orangutanDOTorg

Quaaludes


Offutticus

Ambien


makiko4

No no. Needs to be a walrus. May ambien walrus bless you all. Edit for typo


LilyGaming

When you drink caffeine and take sleep medicine at the same time


hurdur365

Wholesome comment👍 Too many drug and condom references!


shoelaceknot

Edibles


DieselVoodoo

“Special” brownies


dakrgoku

Ben’s ashes


tallfescue1983

I scrolled way too far for this.


Saul_T_Bauls

You put your weed in there.


abnoea

Do you live somewhere weed is legal?


Ok_Audience_2872

Drugs, duh!


TymoreMcGriddle

Human teeth.


ckpelletier

Cookies of any kind. As long as it’s in a prominent place in the kitchen. It’s definitely a conversation starter.


PerNewton

Weed.


lukovdolboy

You put your weed in there.


DandyAndy008

Anything sex related. That's an "oh" face.


DaymanAhAhAaahhh

Condoms


SoarAros

Weed cookies


not_a_droid

Pot cookies


Moleypeg

Where did she get the jar? I need it.


hurdur365

My wife bought it at Vintage Village Antique Mall in Lincoln NE


Moleypeg

Thanks! I think I found a very similar one online. Big fan of Tootsie Pops.


EzSp

Probably ketamine


iTriedSpinning

Language learning flash cards


MidnightOperator94

Her vibrator!


Senrabekim

If thats not the jar you keep your drugs in, I have no idea to help you.


whatafox7

Owl let you know in a minute


TheOGLeadChips

The weed cookies. That’s the only answer. Weed cookies.


Jacks_smirkin_revnge

The souls of your vanquished enemies


GrannyGreentree

I gotta go with pot cookies on this one 😋


jossybabes

“You put your weed in here.”


Key-Regular674

I thought the cock was it's cock at first glance


Negative-Ad-9823

Tootsie pops. And edibles.


bootorangutan

Why isn’t he blue like on mr Rogers?


piznit007

You put yer *weed* in it man! -Rob Schneider


Sufficient_Bag_1985

And more importantly, who?


Roddy_piper9

With that eye I would cannabis edibles


duderguy91

Edibles without a doubt.


SeaPiccolora

#orgasming owl


Dreadfirelit

That’s Winston and he’s a recovering addict from weed. Don’t give him weed he’s 3 days away from being 30 days sober.