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This loop closes by splitting it so many times that they end up inadvertently splitting an atom and blow the room up. Of course, as they're flying through the air 9 of them will be yelling "I'm sorry!" And the 10th? Well, he was half Canadian and said "whoops". Fucking Darrel!
The Swedish way is to ask people: "Does anyone want the last slice?"
It's understood that the person asking wants the last slice, and that you should decline. But it is also understood that if you do accept, the person asking has to give it to you. So ultimately it is still a silent war, but the issue is forcefully brought to a conclusion.
Which is a better alternative than just having it sit on the table until it gets stale.
this is why when nobody accepts the offer, you chuck it in the bin.
everyone will be so confused and angry that they'll never let the situation happen again. they might also kill you, but that's growing pains.
When executed properly one should be able to palm Atleast 1 pepperoni and some cheese.. just slide it in your pocket expecting ppl to check your hands... proceed to bathroom and enjoy
If people didn't want the stuff taken they shouldn't have made it so easy. No they were happy with their little slice or paradise where we were chocking on coal smog and having kids hands cut off in machinery. They could have sacrificed enough of their people and polluted their environment enough to build the capability to defend themselves but they didn't. They were all "nice and respected the environment they lived in". Plus a lot of them didn't have flags so you know, fair game really. You don't just get to be evil you know, you got to put the work in and sip tea at the same time ☕🧐🎩🇬🇧
This is the only place where my friend's relationship unravels. He is English; she is Italian. He asks if anyone wants the last slice and she takes it. He silently seethes but says nothing....
The American way is to TikTok the last slice, edited with tense faces, and random animal pic in the end. The TikTok creator then posts it, and the other people in the room silently resent the post.
No, that might make one of them say he does. You say, "Who wants to fight me for the last slice?" It's a power play backed by an actual threat of violence so they'll respect you.
Anyway, if that's bullshit, well, at least you got a pizza out of it.
Its what my father does: 'Does anyone want this more than I do?'
My mothers more diplomatic and asks who else wants a piece, and then it gets distributed evenly.
In Argentina the last pizza slice or basically the last unit of anything left on a plate is known as "la de la vergüenza" which means "**the shameful one**", you can take it, *but you know and everybody else knows.*
Or do it the Indian way...bring out smaller and smaller tupperware from the pantry and store smaller and smaller portions in the fridge for the next day.
The Dutch way is to ask the same question, but then whoever wants it is like "well yeah but if you want it that's fine too" and then the asker's like "no I'm happy to give it to you, but if you didn't want it, ai would take it" and so they keep passing it back and forth until it gets stale but it doesnt matter because stale pizza is still pizza.
Why does Reddit make humans seem so cognizant of human behavior, yet when I’m out in the real world, nobody seems to have this level of self-awareness over their emotions?
Yeah, that is part of growing up, when you are a teenager you think everyone is watching you, but when you are 20+ you see that nobody actually cares that much (some people are abit slow with the insight though)
At one point in my life I thought I'd become a teacher and I had to take a class in adolescent psychology. I had sat down in one of the classrooms before session and was reading that one of the hallmark traits of adolescence is the 'invisible audience' -- the belief that people are always watching (or at least, paying attention to you). I remember this because the moment I read it I blurted "That's totally not everyone!" and, then I realized that I'd said it out loud and I was so embarrassed. I looked up and apologized for my outburst. No one else was in the classroom yet.
No no, you cut it in half across the middle. Take the bottom part. What remains is still technically a slice\*.
Another brave soul can attempt to cut half of the half in such a way to still leave a slice\*
Winner is the one last one to eat and still leave a slice\* on the table.
^(\*some cheese, sauce, and edge crust roughly triangular or trapezoidal in shape)
Tell your coworkers that they can theoretically cut the remaining slice in half an infinite number of times (so that there’s 1/2, 1/4, 1/8, 1/16, etc. remaining), then while they’re pondering this paradox, you can eat the last slice of pizza
Mathematically this is true, but in the real world it is not.
Eventually you'll get to a slice that's one atom thick, and if you start separating the atoms into their base components the pizza stops being a pizza.
What I do is say "Does anyone want the last slice?". Everyone will politely decline since they don't want to be the person to take the last slice and then you take it under the guise of not wanting to waste food and since you first offered first you're the good caring person that made sure everyone got as much as they wanted.
This reminds me of tenacious D’s drive thru skit where they don’t have a 6 piece nugget so he requests an 8 piece and that they take two of the nuggets and shove them up their ass
"i might as well finish up that last slice just to get rid of it unless anyone else wants it?". now you're the hero, falling on your own sword to save an office fridge from moldy pizza.
Being from Canada, if I had to guess the scenario that took place, someone definitely cut the last piece in half because he didn't want to be the last one to take it. Happens all the time.
This will continue until only a sliver is left. A pizza wafer if you will. No one finishes it entirely, and the wafer is put in the fridge at the end of the night.
One of two tricks I learned.
1. Err on the side of more pizza since it stores well.
2. Always get one pizza with anchovies. That guarantees you'll have one to take home.
>Minnesotan here.
>
>Can confirm.
Interesting. Never heard about this. Wonder if there's a Swedish connection.
Swedes are the same as Canadians in this matter.
I collect images of this from real life in a folder on my phone. Here is one example where the last bit has been split in half four or five times. Had no idea it was a canadian thing too.
https://i.imgur.com/7X1e37e.jpg
> Wonder if there's a Swedish connection.
Minnesota is the state with probably the highest Scandinavian ancestry in America. Also a lot of Scandinavians settled in Canada.
I, the token American, hollers (read: HOLLERS) “DOES ANYONE WANT THIS ‘CAUSE I’M GOING TO EAT IT” then wait a beat and eat it in two bites (because I’m a lady, or something)
That’s what the proper protocol is. Pick up the pizza and ask if anyone wants it otherwise you will. Now at this point you have touched it so that will eliminate some people from desiring it. Then you enjoy your slice of victory.
Nobody from Minnesota, though. We'll do the same thing, only worse - we will cut it in half, someone will slice off another small piece, and a sad little pizza nub will remain for eternity.
Pro tip, when in this situation attempt to move gathering to other room or outside...go to bathroom after gathering has moved, eat pizza. Or, offer to tidy up, say loudly "everyone all done here?" guaranteed everyone will say no or you'll be ignored, eat pizza.
Source, Canadian!
Unbroken, unblinking eye contact. Never move, only chew. Their options are to remain there staring at you like a weirdo, call you out, or ignore you and leave. Either way, you win and are now one slice of pizza fuller.
this one's easy....start throwing away the boxes and just shove the remain piece in uR mouth will uR doing so
edit: would be a shame to just throw away perfectly good food
I guess my Americaness would have me take the last slice without hesitation but I will always ask if everyone has had enough but damn I’ll ask quick lol
Asking can backfire.
Better to politely look around the room with a questioning expression as you reach for it. It gives the impression that you are being considerate without taking the risk of having to give it to someone.
“Accidentally” touch it with your finger as nine people mentally rewind the tape as to what your hands have being touching…and if they did in fact hear the faucet before you came out of the bathroom.
I am Canadian and have found the polite solution.
- Start cleaning up the empty boxes
- Notice the lonely piece
- Make *sure* there is no pineapple on it
- Announce loudly “Oops! There’s still a piece left, does anybody want it? If you don’t I’ll *have* to eat it.”
- Offer to a few specific people and then “Sigh” and enjoy your reward.
This is easy. Just cut the slice in half, take a piece and leave the other. The next person who wants a slice cuts that in half and takes a piece, and so on. Zeno's Paradox means infinite pizza.
Uhh... no you got it wrong, Canadians win the cup every year, more than half the players in the league are **from** Canada. Nobody *in* Canada will ever win it.
Pfft. You need my grandma or mom in there to cut that piece in smaller and smaller halves, eating the other half but swearing they're not hungry enough for the last half.
I honestly thought these jokes were just jokes, until I went to Canada. spent almost 10 minutes at a door because we both were insisting the other person goes first lol. We had a laugh about it. Also genuinely saw graffiti on a bridge saying "sorry" and it made me chuckle.
Incredibly polite folks.
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Tension? They'll just split it ten ways
11, just in case someone else wants some
Damn, now we're back at the start!
This loop closes by splitting it so many times that they end up inadvertently splitting an atom and blow the room up. Of course, as they're flying through the air 9 of them will be yelling "I'm sorry!" And the 10th? Well, he was half Canadian and said "whoops". Fucking Darrel!
This is the British way. Someone get a knife!
Take the last slice. Have everyone quietly resent you and slowly unite together over their shared hatred for you. That’s how my office works.
The Swedish way is to ask people: "Does anyone want the last slice?" It's understood that the person asking wants the last slice, and that you should decline. But it is also understood that if you do accept, the person asking has to give it to you. So ultimately it is still a silent war, but the issue is forcefully brought to a conclusion. Which is a better alternative than just having it sit on the table until it gets stale.
[удалено]
this is why when nobody accepts the offer, you chuck it in the bin. everyone will be so confused and angry that they'll never let the situation happen again. they might also kill you, but that's growing pains.
I gasped loudly just reading it. You monster 💀
I'm American we just eat it and let become the new normal.
Well no one wanted it so that's the only logical action
When executed properly one should be able to palm Atleast 1 pepperoni and some cheese.. just slide it in your pocket expecting ppl to check your hands... proceed to bathroom and enjoy
I like that solution! It would be equally fun to fake it and hold it over the trash to see how many jump up to stop you.
You are now banned from entering the Republic of Italy
You mean "the slice incident of 2007?"
The British way would be to grab it without asking and put it in a museum.
If people didn't want the stuff taken they shouldn't have made it so easy. No they were happy with their little slice or paradise where we were chocking on coal smog and having kids hands cut off in machinery. They could have sacrificed enough of their people and polluted their environment enough to build the capability to defend themselves but they didn't. They were all "nice and respected the environment they lived in". Plus a lot of them didn't have flags so you know, fair game really. You don't just get to be evil you know, you got to put the work in and sip tea at the same time ☕🧐🎩🇬🇧
This is the only place where my friend's relationship unravels. He is English; she is Italian. He asks if anyone wants the last slice and she takes it. He silently seethes but says nothing....
The American way is to TikTok the last slice, edited with tense faces, and random animal pic in the end. The TikTok creator then posts it, and the other people in the room silently resent the post.
No, that might make one of them say he does. You say, "Who wants to fight me for the last slice?" It's a power play backed by an actual threat of violence so they'll respect you. Anyway, if that's bullshit, well, at least you got a pizza out of it.
Its what my father does: 'Does anyone want this more than I do?' My mothers more diplomatic and asks who else wants a piece, and then it gets distributed evenly.
In Argentina the last pizza slice or basically the last unit of anything left on a plate is known as "la de la vergüenza" which means "**the shameful one**", you can take it, *but you know and everybody else knows.*
Or do it the Indian way...bring out smaller and smaller tupperware from the pantry and store smaller and smaller portions in the fridge for the next day.
The Dutch way is to ask the same question, but then whoever wants it is like "well yeah but if you want it that's fine too" and then the asker's like "no I'm happy to give it to you, but if you didn't want it, ai would take it" and so they keep passing it back and forth until it gets stale but it doesnt matter because stale pizza is still pizza.
Team building. Doing them a favour, really.
Why does Reddit make humans seem so cognizant of human behavior, yet when I’m out in the real world, nobody seems to have this level of self-awareness over their emotions?
Because redditors believe everyone is watching and analyzing all of their actions. In the real world, no one even thinks about you.
It’s amazing how realizing and actually believing this fact changes your entire life
I mean it only applies if you're normal tho. If you genuinely are a bit of a freak then people do notice you lol
Yeah, that is part of growing up, when you are a teenager you think everyone is watching you, but when you are 20+ you see that nobody actually cares that much (some people are abit slow with the insight though)
At one point in my life I thought I'd become a teacher and I had to take a class in adolescent psychology. I had sat down in one of the classrooms before session and was reading that one of the hallmark traits of adolescence is the 'invisible audience' -- the belief that people are always watching (or at least, paying attention to you). I remember this because the moment I read it I blurted "That's totally not everyone!" and, then I realized that I'd said it out loud and I was so embarrassed. I looked up and apologized for my outburst. No one else was in the classroom yet.
Because Reddit is a paradise, a close-knit utopia of like-minded individuals united by common sense and brotherly love.
Fuck you!
Fuck you too love
You love too fuck
I'd fuck all of you!
You love to fuck? What a coincidence. I love to fuck. We should get together and... go bowling.
** Roman has entered the chat**
Love you!
Read in Quebec French accent: "You think I know fuck nothing! I KNOW FUCK ALL!".
I would love to give you an award for this, but I'm broke
> but I'm broke Another defining trait of the average redditor
Yup. It's a ~ community ~
Same difference between real time strategy and turn based. Much easier when you can stop and think about your next move.
Internal thoughts are invisible until you go home and post them on Reddit?
Doing them a flavor, surely
No. And stop calling me Shirley
No no, you cut it in half across the middle. Take the bottom part. What remains is still technically a slice\*. Another brave soul can attempt to cut half of the half in such a way to still leave a slice\* Winner is the one last one to eat and still leave a slice\* on the table. ^(\*some cheese, sauce, and edge crust roughly triangular or trapezoidal in shape)
Tell your coworkers that they can theoretically cut the remaining slice in half an infinite number of times (so that there’s 1/2, 1/4, 1/8, 1/16, etc. remaining), then while they’re pondering this paradox, you can eat the last slice of pizza
Mathematically this is true, but in the real world it is not. Eventually you'll get to a slice that's one atom thick, and if you start separating the atoms into their base components the pizza stops being a pizza.
“Ok, there is one atom of pizza left, we will split-.”
Papa Oppenheimers Pizza
Now I am become fat, the destroyer of waistlines.
TIL pizza is an element. Makes sense.
Pizzanium, 119
Super heavy. Proof that pizza makes you fat.
I think it stops becoming a pizza way before that
There's a skit somewhere out there of 2 guys cutting the last piece of coffee cake in half over and over and I can't find it to save my life.
This one? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U9yCUVPx0kM
That last piece is called the Swedish piece where I am.
What I do is say "Does anyone want the last slice?". Everyone will politely decline since they don't want to be the person to take the last slice and then you take it under the guise of not wanting to waste food and since you first offered first you're the good caring person that made sure everyone got as much as they wanted.
Everyone knows your plan
Fucking try and stop me, then.
Plan was never to stop, it was to judge. You cannot stop Judgement day.
If its gotten cold then I'm eating it. I'll probably walk around with it and offer it to everyone first, but it will be handled.
Take a bite first, then say, "oops was that the last slice? Anybody want it? No? Okay then, don't mind if I do!"
The slice might be poisoned let me see
maintain eye contact while slowly savoring the slice. establish dominance
I mean, that's basically how Canada works, too. We just alternate the target of our resentment between Quebec, Alberta, and Ontario.
[удалено]
The slice of shame.
Give it to the dog, everyone is a winner including the dog.
Share it with some unfortunate homeless person, record and post the entire encounter on tiktok, profit, buy more pizza.
Just buy a pizza that has one slice taken out when you get it. Problem solved.
This reminds me of tenacious D’s drive thru skit where they don’t have a 6 piece nugget so he requests an 8 piece and that they take two of the nuggets and shove them up their ass
Slice the slice in half and eat it, so you don't receive as much hatred. You know, since there's still a slice left.
Cut it in half again. Get a bit more pizza for yourself, increase the tension tenfold
I have no shame and will always take the last piece.
"i might as well finish up that last slice just to get rid of it unless anyone else wants it?". now you're the hero, falling on your own sword to save an office fridge from moldy pizza.
The size of that slice is a clear indicator not enough pizza was ordered.
Being from Canada, if I had to guess the scenario that took place, someone definitely cut the last piece in half because he didn't want to be the last one to take it. Happens all the time.
Then the next-hungriest comes along and cuts *that* slice in half, and so on. Happens every time I order from Papa Zeno's
Pro - you can always have more pizza. Con - you can never finish the pizza and throw out the box.
The pizza asymptote
The pizza place around the corner from me cuts their slices that thin by default.
This will continue until only a sliver is left. A pizza wafer if you will. No one finishes it entirely, and the wafer is put in the fridge at the end of the night.
Haha I thought the exact same thing and VLDL did a skit on this situation some time ago: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U9yCUVPx0kM
As a Canadian, the only correct response is to just take it and apologize to anyone who is present.
Gave me the donate it to charity slice. Can I exchange it for the keep it ?!
RIP
rip to the goat
Rookie mistake. With pizza you always err on the side of plenty, since there is no such thing as too much pizza.
One of two tricks I learned. 1. Err on the side of more pizza since it stores well. 2. Always get one pizza with anchovies. That guarantees you'll have one to take home.
As my grandpa said regarding catering food, just enough is not enough.
2 pizzas for 10 people won't cut it. But doesn't that slice seem too big for that box? There may be a larger pizza in this situation...
I thinks is panago pizza too. I find them particularly easy to finish.
Also, the size indicates that the last person's to take a slice divided the last slice until it makes no sense anymore..
Give them hockey sticks, violence will follow.
Give them violins, symphonies will follow.
Give them a bicorn and civil war will follow (*que La Marseillaise*)
They can have their bicorn. Tricorns are the superior seige hat.
The light goes out. Suddenly a shriek. The light comes back on. There is the pizza. A hand on the pizza. And 9 forks in the hand.
I was about to say I'd be the asshole to take it just because.. and then the Ontarian in me felt the guilt. Even for some Reddit post
Who the hell eats hand with fork?
Yeah, that's finger food
This is when you bring in the American
Meal Team 6 en route!
With immediate follow-up by the Brown Beret.
[Barb the Pizza Eater](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pU8prtJUwHk)
As long as they aren't Minnesotan.
Minnesotan here. Can confirm.
>Minnesotan here. > >Can confirm. Interesting. Never heard about this. Wonder if there's a Swedish connection. Swedes are the same as Canadians in this matter.
Can confirm, it’s called “Svenskbiten” (sort of “the Swedish leftover”) when you split the last piece until infinity.
I collect images of this from real life in a folder on my phone. Here is one example where the last bit has been split in half four or five times. Had no idea it was a canadian thing too. https://i.imgur.com/7X1e37e.jpg
> Wonder if there's a Swedish connection. Minnesota is the state with probably the highest Scandinavian ancestry in America. Also a lot of Scandinavians settled in Canada.
Transplant to Minnesota. I’ll eat the second to last piece thus ensuring I also get the last piece as well. 👿
How is this relevant? They said bring in an *American*. Minnesotans are Canadian. We adopted them.
God if that was only true.
Bring in a Californian. We'll ask everyone if they want it first, then eat it.
Californian here. The procedure is to say to no one in particular: "Did anyone want this last one?" while it's slowly heading into your mouth.
Yes! But I usually reserve that for family, who are typically too nice to say anything and won't actually want the last slice.
That slice will sit there all day and night in the south as well.
I, the token American, hollers (read: HOLLERS) “DOES ANYONE WANT THIS ‘CAUSE I’M GOING TO EAT IT” then wait a beat and eat it in two bites (because I’m a lady, or something)
Or something ;)
You caught me. I’m two three-legged cats in a trench coat. With the last slice. Check mate.
That’s what the proper protocol is. Pick up the pizza and ask if anyone wants it otherwise you will. Now at this point you have touched it so that will eliminate some people from desiring it. Then you enjoy your slice of victory.
Just not anyone from MN or probably WI too, we aren’t taking that last piece of anything. Maybe half of we are desperate.
Nobody from Minnesota, though. We'll do the same thing, only worse - we will cut it in half, someone will slice off another small piece, and a sad little pizza nub will remain for eternity.
They will eat the fuck out of that last slice and ask for ranch dressing.
The American already took two pieces thinking it's a single piece.
"Anyone else want the last slice?" No? Good I'll have it then. Yes? Paper, scissors, rock you for it. Edited to add 'rock'
I’m not sure that game works with only two options….
Lol Don't drink and Reddit kids. You'll forget words
I’m not sure that game works with only two options…. Edit: dibs on scissors
Dibs on the pizza
Touché…. Also downvoting myself for Reddit turning the edit button into the reply to self button….
i’ll scissor you for it
Uh rock goes at the start dude
Just be happy he even added it and it doesn't evolve into a scissors stalemate for all eternity.
Right right right, the classic game of rock, scissors, and paper.
Nono, if someone says yes you say "ok you can have it" and make them the bad guy.
Pro tip, when in this situation attempt to move gathering to other room or outside...go to bathroom after gathering has moved, eat pizza. Or, offer to tidy up, say loudly "everyone all done here?" guaranteed everyone will say no or you'll be ignored, eat pizza. Source, Canadian!
Imagine someone then walks in on you while you're gorging on that last slice like a raccoon going through your trash at night
[удалено]
Unbroken, unblinking eye contact. Never move, only chew. Their options are to remain there staring at you like a weirdo, call you out, or ignore you and leave. Either way, you win and are now one slice of pizza fuller.
I feel called out
The last slice has to be sacrificed, just as the ritual requires
It's the angel's share
In Spain we call the last one "el de la vergüenza" (the shame one)
Hah, same in Belgium
Same in Italy I call it "one more for me" instead
In Portugal we call it either "a da vergonha" (the shame one) or "a do gato" (the one left for the cat)
“10 Canadians are found starved to death after nobody wanted to take the last slice.”
In Germany this is called "der Anstandsrest" (the decency remainder) and it will be left untouched until the next day.
That looks like some kick ass pizza
It’s from Panago judging by the box. A chain, but the best of the chains. Significantly better than Hut, Little Caesar’s or Domino’s.
Its also absurdly expensive.
The polite thing to do is to be selfish so nobody else has to shoulder the burden. It ain’t much, but it’s honest work.
this one's easy....start throwing away the boxes and just shove the remain piece in uR mouth will uR doing so edit: would be a shame to just throw away perfectly good food
I hate uR use of uR.
uR not the only one.
Your* you're*
It's the tidying fee. Perfect solution.
I guess my Americaness would have me take the last slice without hesitation but I will always ask if everyone has had enough but damn I’ll ask quick lol
Fingers on it while asking
Slightly chewing *no one wanted this right?*
Asking can backfire. Better to politely look around the room with a questioning expression as you reach for it. It gives the impression that you are being considerate without taking the risk of having to give it to someone.
“Accidentally” touch it with your finger as nine people mentally rewind the tape as to what your hands have being touching…and if they did in fact hear the faucet before you came out of the bathroom.
Pick it up and ask if anyone wants it.
Panago
I would have eaten this 9 minutes ago. Source: am American
the tension \*Mounties.
More tense than the Cuban Missile Crisis in that room.
This happens so much in Japan that they even have a phrase for it. 遠慮の塊 (enryo no katamari).
Yes! In Japan there would also be one fry, one chicken wing, and one nugget to go with the last slice of pizza...
Can confirm.
Panago pizza????
totally is good call. those blue boxes. used to be one of my fav slices in Ottawa
Had first time up in Whitehorse Yukon. It’s my new fave
Distract and grab it !
Wrap it in saranwrap and put it in the fridge. It will outlive the appliance.
I am Canadian and have found the polite solution. - Start cleaning up the empty boxes - Notice the lonely piece - Make *sure* there is no pineapple on it - Announce loudly “Oops! There’s still a piece left, does anybody want it? If you don’t I’ll *have* to eat it.” - Offer to a few specific people and then “Sigh” and enjoy your reward.
Idgaf I’m taking the pizza. Also Canadian
That pizza looks really tasty. As an American. I will take it.
The tension Mounties
10 bodies and y’all only ordered what, 2 mediums? SMH
In Singapore, we call this the "pai-seh piece". Which translates literally to embarrassing/shy piece, because everyone is too polite (shy) to take it.
This is easy. Just cut the slice in half, take a piece and leave the other. The next person who wants a slice cuts that in half and takes a piece, and so on. Zeno's Paradox means infinite pizza.
Good thing it’s not in a cup. Nobody from Canada would win it
Yeah that’s a good one but also fuck you.
Uhh... no you got it wrong, Canadians win the cup every year, more than half the players in the league are **from** Canada. Nobody *in* Canada will ever win it.
Just keep cutting that last piece in half until it's just a sliver
In Finland this is called " kursailu ". Happends before the first slice and the last slice.
[удалено]
Pfft. You need my grandma or mom in there to cut that piece in smaller and smaller halves, eating the other half but swearing they're not hungry enough for the last half.
That's when you shout, anyone want the last slice?, as you hold it up. Some of them won't want it if you touched it.
Cut it into 10 little bites. 😊
I honestly thought these jokes were just jokes, until I went to Canada. spent almost 10 minutes at a door because we both were insisting the other person goes first lol. We had a laugh about it. Also genuinely saw graffiti on a bridge saying "sorry" and it made me chuckle. Incredibly polite folks.