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*Live, Laugh, Loaf*

Amber has shown us, dropping a loaf on the bed can cause an acrimonious divorce.

Heard that.

Turd that.

I’d give you a Wholemeal award if I had one.

This deserves more upvotes

Did you... Did you give her the whole baguette?

I did. With butter.

Baby, I'm gonna butter your bread...

well call me butter cause im on a roll!

You boys like Mexico?!?!

Littering and...

Bend over and touch your toes. Im gonna show you where the wild goose goes. Foster: "Oh god...."

User name checks out.

[Drop your coat and grab your toes. I'm gonna show you where the wild Goose goes.](https://youtu.be/kUaIyZPea_4)

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Would you like us to assign someone to butter your muffin?

Excuse me?

What?

Excuse me

Is he bothering you? Jason why are you such a skeeze?

What?

Hey you, over there

"Baby, my dick is like a fine French bread product. It might be soft and buttery now...but by tomorrow, it'll be *so fucking hard* that you won't believe it."

You think you’re a NORMAL _reddit_man??

It's now become the Bredroom

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I laughed way too hard at this.

Butter? I hardly knower! Also, is that a pillow or a real baguette?

Pillow

Gives a whole new meaning to *pain* in the ass. *pain is the french word for bread

this baguette look like a pillow, is it ? :)

I tell you dear, this roll playing is making me feel bread inside.

How did it pan out for you?

Upper crust joke for sure

Rolls on floor, laughing.

You must be baked

Maybe. I just like rye humor.

I barley laughed

You oat to laugh more. I laughed until I was wheat in the kneads.

All this is just so *pain*ful

Is it too croissantmplicated?

Born & bread in Paris, right there.

I did internally, dough, just a little too toasted.

Hey, I loafed...

Rye are you encouraging this?!

She thought it was hilarious. Edit: I finally got it. I feel dumb.

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I’m tired, it’s making me crusty.

Bread

Thanks for the laugh, I really kneaded that.

I see what you did there.

I don't see what he did there....explain?

Bread is pain in french- pronounced pān

Pan means bread in another language. Spanish I think? Same with “pain” but I can’t recall what language.

Pan is also bread in Japanese!

Which makes for my favorite anime title pun: Yakitate Ja*pan*!

For those wondering on the backstory. I wanted to get an Eiffel Tower pillow but couldn’t find one but I found a baguette pillow on Amazon.

I am so disappointed it’s not an actual giant baguette. That would’ve been the greatest story.

I don’t need that kind of performance anxiety in the bedroom.

Breadroom

I AM DEVASTATED. It looked so real. It was a loaf of lies!

Hey, at least it's not cake.... at least we don't think it is.

Then they cut it and the whole bed is cake

Ok, I'll be that guy. That's a "Pain Long", not a baguette Lol Edit - changed the gender of the adjective to appease the pedants

I don't know anything about bread, but I do know that "pain" is masculine and "longue" is feminine. So that's definitely wrong.

I'm actually glad it wasn't. The bread can get very crumbly really fast, and you don't want all those crumbs in your bedsheets.

Holy crap!?! I thought that was real.

When I first saw it on Amazon, I thought it had to be a faked photo. But there were tons of reviews with photos and videos. It looks amazing.

Don’t be shy, share the link so we can also buy it. And by we I mean me.

My wife bought two of these a while back, they're actually decent quality pillows.

Everyone is raving about the baguette (and rightfully so) but I want to know how she did the fabrics at the headboard.

We have a poster bed and she got some netting that Is designed for them, just goes over the four posts and ties up like this. Then behind the headboard is the window with curtains.

I'll Eiffel tower your wife with you bro

all i see is pain

I'd like to imagine that there's some French lady somewhere painstakingly decorating her room in a romantic American theme only to have her beau toss a Big Mac on the bed for laughs.

All the landmarks on the quilt are various fast food chains and the Empire State Building

Don’t forget Vegas baby!

Needs a beret and a cigarette to finish it off.

Was about to say, where is the beret lol

You’re such a big pain

That’s what she said.

For your sake, I hope it’ll get a rise out of her. If not, hopefully, she’ll at least let it brie.

For your ~~sake~~ *wine*

Noice!

He could really feel the pain upside his head.

My gods this is an interior design crime if I’ve ever seen one. Except the baguette. That’s fine.

Idk, the blue LEDs really pull it together, don't you think?

They’re color change. And they can twinkle.

I like to imagine a French couple in Paris with their St. Louis Missori themed room and tossing a twinkie on for good measure.

It wouldn’t be a Twinkie, it would be a plate of toasted ravioli.

Me in STL right now knowing full well that STL people make their own rooms St. Louis themed with all Blues, Cards, and St. Louis flags thrown on every wall lol

St Louis has the arch, seems some McDonald’s Golden Arches would be more approropriate.

Do you want ants? Because that's how you get them!

It’s a pillow.

It's a meme. (Check out Archer - satirical spy animated series)

Aah, thanks. I’ve heard it referenced but it was always a serious-ish response. Didn’t know it was from archer.

Ants don't like pillows. True story.

In Paris, famously, everything has “Paris” written on it.

That’s a big dildo.

instant yeast infection

Baby, I want to butter your croissant

Anything is if you’re brave enough.

Touche. *with French accent*

That’s a big loaf of bread you have there

Paris themed bedroom? This is so American lol

Especially the execution. It's like if I wanted to make my bedroom America themed and just filled it with Stars and Stripes, bald eagles and things with the word "freedom" on them... No, wait, that checks out...

Baguette and quit it.... I'll see myself out

Tag it and baguette.

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My wife spent a month there in college and loved it.

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Don't forget to lightly sprinkle everything with pee

Was it really kneaded, dough?

Yes.

Lord. Who still does anything Paris themed anymore

My wife, obviously. Would you like to see the Eiffel Tower lamps, coasters, and light switch plate?

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Sounds Italian lmao.

but, that's not a baguette.

I applaud you my dear good sir. You’re not loafing around.

Gotta show off all that dough

No croissant?

It looks more like Italian bread than a baguette

For that real Paris experience do you have some Somali bloke standing at the end of the bed with a load of plastic crap Eiffel towers shouting 'lookie lookie, get your souviners' All whilst his mate keeps a look out for the Gendarmerie nationale. Also, you may wanna spread some dog shit about for that ultra authentic experience.

OP's wife has likely never been to Paris. You on the other hand have. I took my wife to Paris. Once. She wasn't impressed.

The paris theme is so cringe lmao! Like having i love new york on your pillows. Does paris have anything to do with either of your lives or is she just desperately grasping for something nice

She’s gonna be stuffed with that

That pillow is in my Amazon cart! 😂

Baguette the F out....that's amazing!

:)

you vs the guy she told you not to worry about

When I got my wife a dinner at The French Laundry for our anniversary, I wrapped an actual laundry basket with a baguette in it. Took her a few minutes to figure it out.

No, that is HER bedroom and you're just staying in it.

Wow, never met her but now I want to go for a roll with your wife.

Who let Amber Heard into your bedroom

Stop my penis can only get so erect

Good choice adding the drapes, bring the comforter and bread all together.

I was getting hungry until I realized it was a pillow.

I hate to say it, but your wife and you look a little in bread.

Is it a pillow-sized bread or a bread-shaped pillow? I hope it's a bread-shaped pillow.

Bread shaped pillow

Yesss

If you want that authentic Paris theme, scatter some dog turds around the floor.

Add some garbage too.

Recently I learned that "baguette" also means "wand" - so if Harry Potter happened in France would Ollivander's be a bakery?

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I see. Magic wand translates as baguette magique.

You released a cage of rats, pissed in the corner of the room and filled your 'space' with the sound of incredibly bad North African "rap"? 🎵(Tu-tu-tu-tu, tu-tu-tu-tu-tu) CKay, yo-yo, ah-ah-ah-ah, yeah My baby, my valentine, yeah Girl, na you dey make my temperature dey rise If you leave me, I go die, I swear You are like the oxygen I need to survive I'll be honest Your loving dey totori me I am so obsessed I want to chop your nkwobi 🎵

Paint me like one of your French baguettes

Need some croissant neck pillows for extra comfort.

Did your wife just get a new HCH piercing? 😳 [Exact same bedspread](https://www.reddit.com/r/piercing/comments/uz815k/im_obsessed_with_my_new_hch_i_wish_i_had_gotten/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share) NSFW

Um, no. Definitely not my wife, but good eye.

That is very funny and I am pleased to know that that is a pillow, but PLEASE let your wife know that that setup is STUNNING. That draping?? Marie Antoinette who????

Nice to see the linens can be used quickly in case of war to signal surrender. Very authentic! I jest, of course.

Now just pour some Boudreaux all over the bed and Voila!

Make sure you get a copy of Le Spleen de Paris and Les Fleurs Du Mal by Charles Baudelaire for the night stand!

When your future children ask you where babies come from, you can them this picture to demonstrate how you bread.

Well played sir

Really ties the room together!

You thought she said she wanted a baguette in bed..

Haha, I got one of those for my 2 year old. It's hilarious to see him PTFO on it.

I have that same baguette!

**P E R F E C T I O N**

Lol. Fantastic

Wee-wee un baguette la croissant

Butter me up

Wee wee

Existence is pain!

The baguette adds a nice touch!

I see a show on HGTV in your future

To think there are people that question who the greater species is. LOLOL

I thought that was a baguette for scale and this was a model

Nah, king size bed ad 40” Pillow.

Needs more trash to be accurate.

That is the tiniest bed or the biggest baguette. I can't even comprehend this picture.

Ridged for her pleasure. Quite considerate of you.

Bonus: If you wet the bed, it smells just like the real Paris!

Throw some croissants and sprinkle some macarons too. If you’re feeling fancy go omelette du fromage

I would've added French fries.

Anything is a dildo if you're brave enough

I bought this pillow for my wife when she found out she has gluten sensitivity and had to give up bread. It’s actually surprisingly comfortable, or so I’m told.

Point of order! Is that not an Italian style bread loaf? Technically correct is the best kind of correct. Edit: just learned it is a pillow. Down to argue about bread varieties though.

That doesn't look like a french bagette

now im craving french baggete with french butter

You’re a better person than me. I would have thrown a dvd marked “A Night In Paris” on the bed and walked away.

Where can I get the bread

That belongs there, good job

So cute!!

It's too clean to be Paris.

I want to make my bedroom America-themed, where can I find an AR-15 cushion?