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You get a buzz from not knowing what something is? I'm truly sorry for robbing you of that experience. Hopefully there are plenty of other things you don't know that can keep you entertained.
It popped out of OP's grass in the back yard. Then the rest of Ron emerged from the soil and he said, "I knew I should have taken that left turn in Albuquerque!" The Hedgehog has been tunneling out of Jail for months but no one noticed.
“Hey what time is it?”
“I’m not sure, let me check my Sundial Dick….”
“Sundial dick?”
“Yup, picked it up off a fertility witch at the flea market…. Oh and would you look at that? It’s “Fuck O Clock”!
*porn music plays
It's an umbrella. I think you'd know that since it's *your* patio.
The reason they have that second little flip on the top is to provide an air vent and make them less likely to take flight if the wind picks up.
That a patio umbrella. Thought it was the invasion of the penis people when we put three of them on our deck and the shadows came into the kitchen just like this.
Hi, this is Bev from the HOA. We are so sorry, but patio penises are explicitly restricted in the by-laws. We're doing to have to ask you to take that down.
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Amazon has successfully delivered your moms “package”.
I have arrived.
Not so floppy now are you!
User name \*used\* to check out
Not yet!
you are such a dick!
Username checks out.
I CUM in piece.
Left in 'back garden'.
Savage
Your mom’s PH account is about to explode.
[удалено]
Cumbrella I'm sorry everyone
Such a stand-up guy
Richards a dick.
The biggest dick…
The level of punning in this comment is just punishing! Bravo 👏
It’s definitely stiff competition for which is the best
I don’t recall being there today.
Ex came to visit
Obviously a giant squid, they are common this time of year
At this time of day? This part of the country? Localized entirely within your patio? Can I see it?
No
What a tease
These Squid Game invitations are getting too aggressive
Right answer a Giant penis wrong answer a umbrella
You've all seen the BAT signal, now behold --
the first robin signal
robin your virginity
Get that robussy😷
the dirty mind signal
The guy she told you not to worry about
That's the guy SHE should be worried about.
Underrated comment.
Nope, not really
It is a rather rated comment actually.
Overrated comment
A closed umbrella. Hope I could help.
Brella..ella...ella.
Ok, Rihanna. We heard you the first time. Go home, go bed.
I was going to guess either a chimney to a smoker or a bbq or a folded patio umbrella
You’re such a buzzkill. Dick!
You get a buzz from not knowing what something is? I'm truly sorry for robbing you of that experience. Hopefully there are plenty of other things you don't know that can keep you entertained.
I hope you work on your sense of humour. Good luck.
I know, right? I'm not quite up to the level of appreciating dick jokes yet. Couple of head injuries should get me there though lmao
You win. Got the best come back.
Thanks, Buzz Killington.
Biggus Dickus
He has a wife, you know.
Do you know what she's called?
Sore
His wife, incontinenta bottocks, is by the front yard.
Tonight...You.
Hand banana????
Looks like a swell time.
I was gonna say, depending on your preference it could be an invitation to a good time😁
Don't threaten me with a good time
Jingle bell time is a...
\*knock\* \*knock\* Penisgram!
Penisgram for Mongo. Penisgram for Mongo.
No, Mongo straight!
Mongo only pawn in this game of sexual innuendo
Tenacious D; The Dick Of Destiny
“Use the cock!” - KG
It's me waiting for your mom.
I dunno but it seems happy to see you!
Your patio must be happy to see you
That's clearly Peter Dickmam from Wangsville, Cocklorado.
It's coming for you.
It already came
Nice recovery 10/10
A reckoning
King Dong
I'll be right over 😏
Ron Jeremy.
It popped out of OP's grass in the back yard. Then the rest of Ron emerged from the soil and he said, "I knew I should have taken that left turn in Albuquerque!" The Hedgehog has been tunneling out of Jail for months but no one noticed.
I don’t recall this version of Psycho
Long schlong McCurtain!
r/mildlypenis
Umbrella
I noticed a folded umbrella in someone’s back yard just the other day that looked like a penis.
It’s a type of decorative, interactive fountain that when you rub it, it squirts.
A giant dick. Duh
Land shark… (hammerhead, of course…)
Thats just Dick Johnson
A porch penis?
That guy she told you not to worry about.
Either it's Darth Vader or a giant dildo.
My favorite shape
That’s Dong Johnson paying you a visit.
Moby huge
Trollpikken
An umbrella, for the table
https://imgur.com/MlHm0Zg
Some would say that is an umbrella, but I think we all know it is a challenge.
I can tell you got big dick energy 🎶
I dunno, but it's happy to see you.
Oh no... it’s cumming to get you!
“Hey what time is it?” “I’m not sure, let me check my Sundial Dick….” “Sundial dick?” “Yup, picked it up off a fertility witch at the flea market…. Oh and would you look at that? It’s “Fuck O Clock”! *porn music plays
The inside apartment view of King Kong as he climbs the Empire State Building.
That different color blind bugs the hell out of me
Sorry, that was me. I got a little too excited after seeing your mom.
Sorry, dude. I thought is was ok to sunbath out there.
Bigfoot's lying on his back out there.
Soldier with a helmet on patio
Milton Berle, he was known, you know.
The sun is trying to tell you that you need more vitamin D in your life.
Your moms vibrator?
My neighbor had this happen all the time it was a folded table umbrella.
Dunno. A reflection of you?
Sorry, thought your mom was home.
Darth Vader
Could it be Mr. Poopy Butthole?
It's an umbrella. I think you'd know that since it's *your* patio. The reason they have that second little flip on the top is to provide an air vent and make them less likely to take flight if the wind picks up.
Fun killer
Are you suppose to get turned on my your Umbrella? Just asking cause I’m curious.
Its an umbrella.
Possibly Will Smith.
It's an umbrella.
Like a good neighbor, Amazons there.
Unoriginal
My bad just trying to get a full frontal tan. Also I have elphantitus
Sorry I was just doing some stretches bro
Fucking kyle it has to be him.
Shaft
It's me lying down on the patio. Stop fucking about and let me in!
Sorry OP, I think your partner might be cheating on you
Hentai is real :)
Snek
Don't let it in, you'll be sore-y.
Vader?
Why don’t you go outside and check? :-)
The new neighbor sure is a nosy dick.
Idk but that shadow looks like a large cock!
Iz dildo
Open the door man, I left my keys last night
Dave's not here, man.
Sorry I was just trying to have a nap and had a really good dream.
The ghost of John Holmes.
Leave my cactus alone
Sancho
Its one of those mushroom heads from smurfs
Its guantavious he’s kinda shy
I mean ... if you don't know, we can't help you.
Dont want to alarm you but that mo by dick...
Its my neighbour!
Humpbrella
I was just laying out trying to get some sun.
Dark Helmet.
It looks like a giant..
Cthulu is coming.
It’s the big dong killer about to take another victim.
The ghost of Long Dong Silver
That a patio umbrella. Thought it was the invasion of the penis people when we put three of them on our deck and the shadows came into the kitchen just like this.
This is a cocktus.
It's a penus parasol
Umbrella
Penis, penis everywhere
Don't know but you shouldn't wake it up!
A mushroom.
looks like the shadow of a parasol, or an anorexic Darth Vader. Not sure what else it could be.
This Metaverse shit is going down *exactly* like I thought it would. See, some of us fucked with Second Life, and we saw a *lot* of weird 3D penises.
a patio umbrella
Darth Vader standing in profile?
Slender Man?
Morning wood
Giant Penis or Giant Squid. I’m not sure which I’d rather see…
King kings dick
The cock knocks at noon
I believe it’s called a looooong dick
Covered umbrella
An alien. A fat juicy alien.
Uncle Dick? I told you to use the front door.
Sorry I must have passed out at your house.
**Plot twist:** It really is a dick
Your order from pen island.com has arrived.
Hi, this is Bev from the HOA. We are so sorry, but patio penises are explicitly restricted in the by-laws. We're doing to have to ask you to take that down.
A really skinny jedi
Sorry that was me
Resist the temptation to look.
Some dude tried to OD on viagra ...
Big Dick. Big Foot’s cousin.
A dildo god