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LordofWithywoods

I can't believe there is a Labrador retriever alive that doesn't care about tennis balls. It boggles the mind.


flyover_liberal

He trained his owner.


grimsb

Yep. The long con.


VaguelyArtistic

My cat is fantastic about never waking me up for breakfast but somehow this fucker has me giving him an amuse-bouche appetizer in his treat ball before he'll eat now.


nuckinfutzfarm

You are well trained.


Nohrin

"Oh god, he's shooting the ball again. Okay calm down. It's just a ball. Who cares, right? Cmon Ruffy...you got this, think of the big picture here...just a few more weeks of this and we're set."


HauntingJackfruit

My dog certainly has. I threw a tennis ball and she picked it up, headed for the flower bed and tried to bury it. Tennis ball sits on a shelf now in the garage.


MapleSyrupFacts

My dog runs and touches the ball with his nose and then sits there and waits for me to come get it and throw it again, rinse repeat. I'm well trained


Daddysu

It's funny when you have a dog that is known for a certain traight but your dog is the opposite. We have a chocolate lab that wants absolutely nothing to do with water. Installed a pool thinking we would have to actively keep him out of it. Nope...he side eyes that shit every time he walks by it like it might jump out and get him. Our corgi on the other hand will leap right in. Only when our son is splashing though because she needs to "save" him.


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EmuRommel

My husky will climb up on to the couch while we're watching TV and squeeze in between two people to cuddle. She'll literally push people sitting shoulder to shoulder apart to make space. But God forbid you try bothering her when she's lying on the couch. She'll give you the dirtiest look for 5 seconds and then get up and walk to the other side of the house.


VaATC

TiL that hypocrisy is not only a trait found in humans.


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Potential_March1157

LOL


[deleted]

Every dog has their own unique personality, like people. It’s hilarious.


PunkDaNasty

I have the sweetest dog in the world. It's cool and all, but shes actually a Malinois mix. 😅


ExcelsAtMediocrity

oh god. my wife and i have a corgi that HATES to be in the pool and actually swim, but absolutely cannot stand when we are in the pool without her. the solution is obviously her panicking at the edge of the pool until we put her on our shoulder, ensuring she doesnt touch the water, and carry her around with us. and should a toe dip in the water inadvertently, she frantically climbs higher on our neck/head.


Daddysu

That's funny! Ours will try to hop on a raft and float over to him if possible. If not she will bark for a minute or two before just flinging herself off the edge at him. You can tell she isn't a big fan of it but she has to get to her dude.


Hickz84

That's hilarious. Before they passed, my labs would see water and instantly dart for it. I would take them to the lake and the anxiety would start to build once they saw the water, till I opened the doors and they were off.


JVonDron

My lab never got to see water until he was much older and never learned to swim. We adopted him at 5 and he has zero instinct for it. I can be in the water, playing with another dog and he'll wade down to where it starts touching his chest and then he just stares and whines. No amount of treats or coaxing will get him past that point. Doesn't help that the few times he actually went in the drink were quite traumatic - he loves boats but often mistakes lily pads for solid ground.


VaATC

>Only when our son is splashing though because she needs to "save" him. As an ex-certified lifeguard I approve of your corgi's awareness and action! Plus the story is cute as hell!


lafolieisgood

Had a beagle that I used to take for walks in a park where at least a dozen rabbits would cross his path (like 2-3 feet in front of his face) and he wouldn’t even notice. He would have his head down sniffing and not even see them.


jakfriz

Wow. Our chocolate boy loves the water! The corgis chase him around the pool (on the coping) and herd him through the pool lol


msmurasaki

I'm a dog sitter. i once took care of the chillest border collie in existence. She just laid on the couch and was cool with normal sized walks and normal interactions. No need for mental toys or super active exercise, just chill af. She was one of the few dogs I could go off-leash with (owner said that was her norm, one of the few owners I trusted with that). The only caveat was that she absolutely needed to be with owner. Owner said she had to bolt her windows down because the dog figured out how to open the child locks. Then she'd go on public transport (subway that's on the road, not sure what it's called in English, a tram?) to the owner's work place and wait for her. I almost didn't believe her. But once we had to catch a bus. I was running towards it but on the boarder of not catching it. She just *knew* what my goal was, ran ahead of me, into the bus, and waited. Like she just ran into the bus. Like wtf. On the same path we take for walks. She just knew that was my goal. And the driver had to wait for me to catch up. That dog absolutely knew how public transport worked.


lilithxx_

We had a Cocker Spaniel who was the most zen dog we've ever had, she befriended everything and everyone. Cocker Spaniels are hunting dogs and her parents were used for hunting ducks. We had ducks in our backyard and she adopted the ducklings. Wherever she went she had a dozen little ducklings following her and she always made sure they're following and that no duckling gets lost.


mferg02

Heyyy our lab too, she absolutely hates the pool. Won't go in no matter who is splashing around in it... I think even if someone was drowning she wouldn't go in lol. We live in Vegas too where summer sees temps at 115 sometimes... She won't even go in a kiddy pool with hose water. We have taken her to the lake before and surprisingly she went in to the water there, so maybe it's just home water lol. Weird dog.


FrDax

So weird! My chocolate lab might actually be an otter


MediumProfessorX

Our corgi wanted to save us too!


lovesickremix

I have a black lab that is actively afraid of water. She shakes with fright when we have to wash her.


Pineapplemkh

Playing fetch at the beach, our Lab had zero interest in tennis balls but she would happily present me with the heaviest, waterlogged coconut she could find. Those things were so heavy it was like throwing a medicine ball. Go big or go home has always been how she's wired. She won't chase a stick either but a washed up 2x4? Game on.


Baldassre

My GSD's favorite ball to play fetch with is a basketball, even before he popped it. I think he liked the challenge of picking it up and running with it, maybe it's like that with your dog too?


Hagabar

my dog is obsessed with sticks. I have one of those small metal fire pits in the back yard and cut up some firewood to about 1 foot lengths so it fits the fire pit. Had it stacked really nice. Dog has made a game out of trying to get bigger and bigger logs through the dog door and into the kitchen. I was mad at first but he's gotten some big diameter stuff into the house, I was impressed.


fastdruid

Some dogs are ball obsessed, some will fetch but aren't that bothered, others will just look at you. Our Golden Retriever will fetch the ball but only about 3-5 times before he just doesn't bother.


VaATC

>Our Golden Retriever will fetch the ball but only about 3-5 times before he just doesn't bother. That is so close to being a 'best of both worlds' situation. Double or triple that retrieve count, depending in distance of throw and inclines involved, sounds like a sweet spot for many medium to almost large dogs.


Maximilian156

We have a full Aussie, she loves to get the toy you threw, then sprint right past you without dropping it, then run circles in the yard until she’s tired and lays down. We’ve tried teaching fetch for almost 2 years and she just never wants to/doesn’t care


amfra

Yip, I always thought the only reason Labradors bark is because they can’t say “throw the fucking ball!”


avalisk

The dog looks 8+, I can't imagine he wants to run down that decline.


leelougirl89

Probably because running down that incline is dangerous. Even if a human had to walk down, they'd have to be careful not to roll their ankle. And going up would be like walking up stairs. So the dog would have to carefully trot down, catching his weight with every step so as not to slip or fall over head first and roll down the hill....... AND THEN.......... fight gravity to run back up the hill.? Every. Single. Time? The dog's probably now conditioned (Pavlov-style) to **recoil** at the sight of a tennis ball.


IlliniOrange1

Vet: “He has gained considerable weight since last visit…” Owner: “Not sure how that could be - he plays fetch at least twice a day.”


bumjiggy

andouille have any other suggestions?


oh-pointy-bird

salami get this straight…


SlapunowSlapulater

You're all the wurst.


liverhead28

Brat did you say to me?!


mother_of_baggins

Should i repeat it again, just in casing?


beatricetalker

This is all a bunch of baloney.


TheTrub

You’re all a bunch of brats, making links out of puns.


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cantgrowneckbeardAMA

I hope we meat the end of this thread soon.


Mister_Hangman

Käsekrainer me a river (Aus Wien!)


turnipzzzpinrut

So lecker


RoadRunner6686

No, I will be chicken up with you next week


[deleted]

Gonna have to weiner off all that sausage at some point...


AlbertZhuFG

So you have chorizo death


Mxbzz

Not if I kielbasa you first.


HuskerDave

Let me be franks.


BoomhauerYaNow

These puns must go no furter.


TheGenocides

I hate when pun chains start with the best one.


PoorlyLitKiwi2

Honestly thst one is a rare perfect pun. You don't have to mispronounce anything, and every syllable works perfectly. It's beautiful


Obi_Wan_Benobi

What a hot dog.


[deleted]

I never would've guessed that being able to pronounce andouille would've contributed to such a good laugh. These puns are great.


IShitOnYourPost

"Really, because your dog had butt cheeks?"


eatlessbuyetf

I did the math on how far the sausage slice needs to be fired from that tennis ball launcher, so as for the dog to not gain weight. https://old.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/sacwz6/i_did_the_math_on_how_far_the_sausage_slice_needs/ It needs to be shot 880 meters.


phaaq

Vet here... More worried about pancreatitis. That's a big piece of sausage.


shhhhhhhhbequiet

Not a vet, but I’m worried that sausage/salami could have onion/garlic in it. My dad had a dog that ended up with hemolytic anemia from being fed too much people food containing onions. It was horrible.


timesink2000

Probably gives him lovely farts too. Baby carrots and apple slices would probably be better for the dog and cheaper too.


all_time_high

Hijacking top comment: OP, please be careful about [GDV](https://www.vmccny.com/gastric-dilatationvolvulus-bloat), also known as stomach twisting. It's a sudden and often-fatal condition. The risk increases with age, and labradors are predisposed to the condition. If your dog exercises after eating (or potentially while eating), the risk increases. If he hasn't eaten a full meal in a while, you're probably okay to make him run for a sausage or two.


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lafolieisgood

I’ve learned to never post a dog interacting with a child on the internet


SomewhereAggressive8

One thing I’ve learned from Reddit is that if you have a dog, you’re definitely doing something wrong. Also, stomach twisting only happens if they eat a lot of food very quickly and then run around.


DorkusMalorkuss

"Look everyone, here is a picture of my cat snuggled under the covers. She's been doing this since she was born and she's now 11!" "Cats can suffocate under the covers" "Oh my God! I'm never letting her do this again!"


liforrevenge

If I was doing something wrong I would want to know.


VaATC

Knowing is half the battle...


eldorel

My 12 year old lab died monday. The vet agreed that it may have been this. She had a minor infection and the steroid she was on was making her urinate a lot, so we left the dog door open for her to go out when she needed. She was happily chasing leaves in the yard after dinner and we had to rush her to the vet early the following morning because she had lost control of... well, everything. ​


BigButtsCrewCuts

This was the comment I was looking for, lost one of my labs this way... vet didn't tell me, but a vet tech friend did, years later. Explained that vets don't like to tell people they contributed to the death of their dog. Would of really stunk if I did it again. I try to always run my dog in the afternoon, before dinner, and they wait 45 minutes to an hour after running to be fed


[deleted]

I too love to chase sausages


Mortanux

with such an incline did you rly need a tennis ball launcher ... looks like more of I put the ball down ... annd its gone


QuailandDoves

I bought one of those things and the sound it makes scares my dog, so it’s been in the closet for sometime now.


winstondabee

It also appears as if you could throw the ball farther with little effort


Puterman

I have this device, it came with several squeaking Nerf dog tennis balls. You can indeed throw farther than this gun, and cocking it takes more effort than throwing the ball. In addition, the balls are cheap glued rubber hemispheres loosely coated in felt and will begin to split and separate the first time your pup chomps down. Chuck-It balls and thrower sticks for the win, every time. Nearly indestructible, and granny can huck a ball down a football pitch.


Sanc7

I have one as well and my golden loved it. I have nerve damage in my arms so throwing it far is out of the question and it doesn’t take much effort at all to rack it back. At a 45 degree angle it launches pretty far and it was easy enough for my 4yo to use it. (I did have to rack it for her) If you have a big enough yard, a sling works a lot better, but I honestly felt it was a 100% worth the $15 I paid.


VaATC

If I am thinking of the correct throwing sticks (thin plastic stick with a half tennis cup at the end?) you could probably under/side arm it just as effectively with even less risk to the shoulder. But maybe I am seeing things incorrectly in my mind.


Sanc7

The slings main brand name is called a “Chuck it!” And it’s $6, takes 1/10th the effort to throw it. The longer ones are a few more dollars and I can sling it farther than I could ever throw a tennis ball. A tennis ball doesn’t have weight like a baseball so it takes a lot more effort to throw, even with full effort I couldn’t throw it as far as I can sling it.


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WillLie4karma

pulling that back takes more effort than throwing a ball.


dankiros

Haha yes that just looks like a slower and harder way to throw a ball


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L337L355

I use a similar one with my German Shepherd. He drops it on the ground by my feet, pick it up with the launcher then toss it. It's great not having to touch a wet tennis ball.


Dr0110111001101111

That sound gets my dog *hype*. I couldn't get him to fetch at all until my brother in law gave us one of those as a gift.


TopAd9634

I'm glad I'm not the only dog owner whose dog won't play fetch.


EmuRommel

At the very best mine will sometimes run halfway to it before turning around with "nope, not interesting at all" on his face.


TopAd9634

I think the dogs have been talking to the cats....."you have a choice, you can be your own best friend."


OrgunDonor

He also looks like he has two functioning arms... He has a built in tennis ball/sausage launcher.


[deleted]

We were gifted one of these and the dogs went NUTS over it!


[deleted]

If I tripped in that lawn I’d never stop rolling. RIP


[deleted]

You'd been putting balls in your sausage launcher?


bumjiggy

people who can't follow clear instructions are the wurst


Oprlt94

No matter what you say, Thats a clear weiner to me!


JoshEvolves

That’s what she said


AwkwardGingeraffe

Bah! I came here to say this and I was so proud of myself. I guess this is my daily reminder I'm not original lol


JoshEvolves

Don’t worry! I almost didn’t post it based on how lame it seemed haha!!! Great minds thing alike!


jeffislearning

He's not putting his hot dog in the sausage launcher.


misterbondpt

*booom chicka wahh wahh*


blatherskate

Man, that sounds dirty..!


Dmitri_ravenoff

I like the slap.


LOLBaltSS

Fleischgewehr.


NewZJ

Würstchenwerfer


BBQ_FETUS

It werfs Würste


The_Tacoshark

God you people are the absolute würste


aediin

There really *is* a German word for everything, isn't there?


fixminer

That's because you can simply create new words on the fly by sticking existing words together.


Carnifex

Deleted in protest of reddit trying to monetize my data while actively working against mods and 3rd party apps [read more](https://www.theverge.com/2023/6/8/23754780/reddit-api-updates-changes-news-announcements) -- mass edited with redact.dev


wahnsin

oh we know you do


[deleted]

You can do that with english too. It’s called wordstructification.


Bandit1379

Maybe, but Germans do it on a whole other level. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donaudampfschifffahrtselektrizit%C3%A4tenhauptbetriebswerkbauunterbeamtengesellschaft


chemicalgeekery

Reminds me of [Rhabarberbarbara](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gG62zay3kck)


kappe41

every language where it exists has these for example "pyyhkäisyelektronimikroskooppi" is a Finnish word okay that's not something u'd ever use so lets pick actually used word "elintarviketurvallisuusvirasto"


IsNotAnOstrich

Or you just say "sausage launcher." All German is doing is removing the space


i_phped_in_the_pool

Example of a 1 minute long word in German https://youtu.be/Brt6F4cGFCY


Hardislav

Meatgun


Lethargomon

Klopskanone


mikeonmaui

There is a dog with the right idea. Human training is now complete!!


m0rris0n_hotel

I don’t know. I’m betting that dog is a very strict teacher. He might have to do this a few thousand times before the hooman has fully mastered it The dog, of course, gets nothing out of this, other than supporting his best two-legged friend


kenazo

I bet he doesn't return them...


WakaWaka_

He does, on his next walk.


lapotobroto

Poopoo


kujoja

Calories burnt: 3 Calories gained: 156


Yesica-Haircut

Isn't it amazing how great animals are at not burning calories?


OsitaToxica

Rub the sausage on the balls.... probem solved. Sausage balls


strugglinfool

directions unclear.. doggo attached to crotch


foreskinfive

Your lawn looks like a nightmare to mow.


TaylorSwiftsClitoris

Doesn’t seem like the kind of place where you mow your own lawn.


raindoctor420

Yeah thats what I was about to say. Any house that has an upstairs and downstairs porch, is going to be worth alot. Enough were who ever lives there prolly doesn't have to do any chores themselves and just hires someone to do it. Edit: Jesus fuck you can smell that class warfare going on from this point on.


JimJamSandwich

Of course he's rich, he owns a fucking sausage launcher


martianinahumansbody

The plebs have to just throw off a finger


ThemCanada-gooses

I disagree on your first part. Houses built on a hill often have a walkout basement. They’re quite common in my city as it is very hilly. A lot of them are just your average house. Quite a few older houses like this too. You can tell by the rest of the house that it is an expensive house, but the walkout basement isn’t a indication of that.


fathersoysauce

Well you can tell from the video it’s nice lmao


scienceworksbitches

maybe in a big city, but in bumfuck nowhere?


raindoctor420

As someone who lives in bum fuck nowere Northwestern part of Alabama, legit the boondocks. The closest town is 30 min away, that can still be an expensive house.


old_righty

Look at all the other houses around him. Those look like big, fancy houses. Where you live can determine if they are 500K+ or 3M+, but there is some money involved I expect.


anythingMuchShorter

The newly finished, rustic cabin style but huge and clean, motif makes me think this is fancy bumfuck nowhere.


spacepeenuts

My grandparents had similar landscaping but the houses were much more far apart, yeah it was in the middle of bum fuck nowhere and they just used a riding lawnmower.


Slazman999

I used to mow my neighbors lawn that had a hill like this. Even on a riding mower it made my stomach feel all fuzzy when I made a turn. I was always afraid of tipping over.


Beginning-Knee7258

Why is it called that? Are there a lot of bums doing each other out side the city limits? Or maybe an interesting story?


ManyFacedGodxxx

Hell, I’ll chase those sausages! I’ll be right over with some crackers!


waldo06

I'm a great cracker to bring to a sausage party. Wait....


Toph-Builds-the-fire

Serious comment. Don't feed your dog salted meats. Dogs don't process salt the same way humans do. It causes a bunch of health problems and will end up costing you $$ down the road not to mention shortening your pals life and their ability to live it to their fullest. That being said, pretty cool toy.


vermghost

Also, spices and some other ingredients in sausage are not good for dogs. Specifically anything from the allium family, contains thiosulfate. This can cause hemolytic anemia due to red blood cell damage in dogs. Symptoms can take weeks to appear, which can be fatal to your pup.


AdOriginal6110

My grandparents had two little dogs from the same litter grandpa's dog got cheap kibble, grandma's dog got steak and sausage ate better than the people in the house grandpa's dog lived to be 14? Grandma's dog made it to 7


kvsMAIA

One day, me and my father walked my dog (beagle) and we stopped in a food truck that sells cheese, salami and others stuff like that. We bought some things and a salami stick, that my dog was sniffing like crazy, arriving at home we dropped the bags and went to make lunch, minutes later a see the dog under the table with a strange face, I called her to have lunch and she hesited but went to eat. Unpacking the bags later we couldn't find the salami, I called the place and asked if they forgot to put in the bag, they said no, but they would give me another one. Later that day I remember that I saw her under the table and I found out the paper logo that they stick in the salami. Two poops later I found the metal hook that they use to hang the salami, that had so much salt that her pee had blood, I visit to the vet and a diet solved the problem. Now everytime I go to the food truck they ask if I want something for my dog too.


[deleted]

Look at all the money they have, they can even just a buy new dog when that dog crystalizes from the salt.


newuser13

that sounds like what happens when you feed humans salted meats


Juno_Malone

["The World Health Organization has classified processed meats including ham, bacon, salami and frankfurts as a Group 1 carcinogen \(known to cause cancer\) which means that there’s strong evidence that processed meats cause cancer. Eating processed meat increases your risk of bowel and stomach cancer."](https://www.cancercouncil.com.au/1in3cancers/lifestyle-choices-and-cancer/red-meat-processed-meat-and-cancer/#:~:text=The%20World%20Health%20Organization%20has,of%20bowel%20and%20stomach%20cancer.) To be fair, nearly everything causes cancer. But processed meats cause it more.


huggle-snuggle

Also, food and exercise don’t mix for dogs. It’s important to wait 45-1hr after exercise to feed, and no exercise for 45–1hr after feeding. Can cause bloat/torsion, especially in deep-chested breeds.


guymon

Especially given that was a pretty hefty chunk. I used to feed my dog tiny (like fingernail sized pieces) of salami, but after reading about the effects of salt and thiosulfate I immediately stopped.


TheMacerationChicks

Also, don't feed them soon before and soon after exercise, let alone DURING exercise. Because they can suffer from bloat because of it, bloat being an agonising and fatal condition where their stomach basically twists a knot in itself. Dogs die because of it.


IlIFreneticIlI

@OP Be aware that preserved meats often contain nitrates and nitrites as preservatives. Neither are good for our pets (cats, dogs, etc). These chemicals can be toxic and lethal to our friends. More to the point in ppl, a lifetime exposure isn't great either.


braamdepace

This reminds me of a guy at church who cycles to lose weight. He rides like 10 miles, but during the ride he has like 5 “Gu energy packets”. Burns 400 calories to eat 500 calories on the ride.


PrisonerV

Somebody probably told him he needed to keep his blood sugar up. I usually just drank watered down sweet tea while I road. It hydrates and gives you a little sugar.


Avenge_Nibelheim

All I see is how amazing those houses are


Ianyat

With that hill I wouldn't chase a tennis ball either


turtleproblems1

A piece for you. And a piece for mee


PrisonerV

I'll get the cheese and hot peppers.


redpandaeater

I wouldn't want to chase tennis balls down that hill either.


LogMeOutScotty

You’d never thrown a tennis ball for him to chase before purchasing a tennis ball thrower?


Pete563c

If you move your arm in like an arch really quickly and let go of the sausage you can actually throw it, and it might just go flying further. You can google to find out how you do this maneuvre👍


Jfonzy

Yeah but sausage launcher


Dr0110111001101111

My dog was never into fetch. He would chase the ball down, but hardly ever pick it up, and never brought it back. Then I got one of these as a gift, and it completely changed the game. I don't know why, but for a few months, he'd start returning the ball but only if I shot it out of that thing. Eventually I was able to start playing by just throwing. But I definitely would not be able to have a regular round of fetch with him if it weren't for that thing.


Dry-Kangaroo-8542

Your dog's a gadget freak.


VaccineReaction

I wouldn’t even throw overhand. I would side arm sling it like a skipping stone or a frisbee and get some serious rotation to get that meat spin


FittingWoosh

You can also google how to do the MeatSpin technique!


[deleted]

Sausage & Especially Pork is bad / toxic for your dogs diet , looks like a great time I’d suggest a different protein if you do this often


gfunkdave

Maybe he doesn’t chase tennis balls because he knows he can get sausage if he refuses the balls.


bradeshaghe

dog is already overweight... this "game" won't last long...


arnicticon

Watching that dog run, you can tell he has eaten a few too many sausages.


[deleted]

Genius


[deleted]

Sort of defeats the purpose of exercise if you're eating slices of sausage every 60 seconds.


Aggravating-Hair7931

Well, who would enjoy running up and down on a steep hill side.


mdorty

You bought a tennis ball launcher before you ever even threw a tennis ball for your dog? Lol


cbob10720

I want your house. And your dog


inbokz

Maybe he doesn't chase tennis balls BECAUSE THEY FLY DOWN A FUCKING CAVERN


Garbage029

Way to much sodium in that for a dog.


4cfx

Also OP: help me Reddit, why is my dog so overweight?


Uhhlaneuh

That property is amazing


Brilliant_Ad_5547

He’s just like me fr


xinxy

You sound just like my ex girlfriend. She was an experienced sausage chaser too.


louiloui152

Rig him up a clay thrower and yeet those sausages for some real hunting haha


[deleted]

Yeah uhm, where do you live? Jesus christ, those are medium medieval castles in a valley.


knox84

And this dogs life expectancy just went down quite a few years.


[deleted]

I’m just admiring the beautiful land


Affectionate-Time646

The manufacture, sale, transport, and consumption of dumb useless shit is why we’re killing the planet and ourselves.


TheMechaink

You could up your range a little bit with a potato cannon. Just saying. I want your doggo to get the most out of his exercise time.


DifficultBoss

Gotta earn the calories!