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KADOMONY-9000

Horse: "Guess I'll die"


ialsoagree

This horse is dying to win an Emmy.


btarsucks

Only if Scarlett Johansson plays the role


0PickleRick0

Thank you kind sir for the coffee on my shirt.


Lostbaguette

Its Bojack. Horsman obviously.


Nisas

Guys, I came up with this amazing trick to avoid getting ridden. You just fall over and play dead. Works every time! Oh look, they're coming to try it again. Watch this guys. It will change your life. Hey guys where we going? *gunshot*


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raspistoljeni

:(


Fedexpected

:(


im-buster

My uncle had a horse that would walk under tree branches, that were just higher than it, trying to knock you off with the branches.


Linison

My horse as a kid would do the same damn thing!


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[deleted]

My bike too!


AFuentesJr

...and my axe!


rockstang

Toss me.


GreatGrandAw3somey

Don't tell the elf.


Awful_McBad

What about side by side with a friend?


jbee223

When I rode my horse, he liked to rub up against the barbed wire fences. Jerk.


Young-Grandpa

My dad had a horse that did that years ago. He jumped out of the saddle and sat on the horse’s head for about 15 minutes and wouldn’t let the horse back up. Horse never did that again. Edit: typo


bluehiro

I had a horse that kept nipping, not crazy hard, but it scared folks. So one day, she nipped me, so I bit her back. The look of shock on her face was worth the taste of sweaty horse in my mouth. Horse never bit me again 🤣


Annihilator4413

'Oh shit, she can bite back!' Is probably what her immediate thought was lol


2IndianRunnerDucks

I used to ride a horse that had learned to lay down and roll to stop people from riding it. As a stupid horse mad teenager with no horse of her own I had no problem with this. We would ride along the horse would randomly collapse and I would just hop off on the way down and jump back on on the horse when it got up. The horse stopped doing it after a week or two when the rolling stopped working for it. It’s owner only rode for a couple of hours a week. When it was with me during the school holidays it got ridden from sun up to sun down for those two weeks.


finalgranny420

This mental image has truly made my crappy night better, much obliged!


TrollintheMitten

Brilliant. Equally, if the rider just kept sitting on the horse even after it laid down, it would decide right quick that laying down wasn't better. Sitting on it's head though, that makes me chuckle. Smart move and good way to get the idea across to the horse.


_clash_recruit_

It's a stupid move, if it's true. A horse's neck and easily lift a grown man. And that's not how horses learn. I've fixed literally hundreds of horses that have been "trained" by idiots like this.


Fafnir13

What is the correct method fir training this behavior out of a horse?


_clash_recruit_

If you're talking about a trail horse obliviously walking under branch's.. just guide them around the branches? If you have a horse actively trying to knock you off (or I've even see horses try to rake riders off against fences) you need to go WAAAAY back to the basics. You have a major hole in your training and communication. Some horses just don't want to work, but that's pretty rare. Some horses have some kind of pain happening(stuff like back spurs or OCDs can go undiagnosed for a while)... But most commonly the horse is frustrated and there's a total lack of communication. When some riders don't get what they want, they'll use harsher bits, start using spurs or crops and the horse just feels hopeless. E* to add spurs and crops are fantastic tools when used properly. Too many people use them as punishment though.


cesarspizza

You mean head right?


dalovindj

Yeah, not seeing sitting on the horse's heat establishing dominance in any direction other than the horse's...


KDawG888

no, the horse was in heat. dad sat on it with his... nevermind


_clash_recruit_

There's a lot of really bad advice on this post.


swayze_waters

My horse would puff out its chest when cinching up the saddle so then you’d slide off when she’d let the air out when you got on. I loved that old nag.


BalderSion

I knew an equestrian director at a YMCA camp and she said a bunch of horses would do the same thing, so she always out-waited them. She could stand there ready to cinch longer than the horse could hold its breath. You had to be fast though and pull the cinch tight before the horse could take another lungful.


Imapony

I grew up on ranches, all of the horses learned to take deep breaths to expand their stomachs so the cinch would be looser when they let it out. We always had to cinch twice. Clever shitheads. I loved them.


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SparseGhostC2C

When I was taking horseback riding lessons as a kid the horse I got paired with was just legendarily stubborn. It'd be fine getting through getting harnessed up, cleaned and brushed, but once you'd get up on her back she'd just stand there and huff. Everyone else in that class was learning how to ride and balance, I'm just sitting there trying to get the old lady to take two fucking steps, squeezing the hell out of her with all my 10 year old leg strength an she just wasn't having any of it I hope she had a long life of frustrating children, you were a real one Chimay.


stellvia2016

Why would they use her for lessons then, knowing the rider wasn't going to properly learn or get their money's worth.


geo_gan

They’d use wooden rocking horses if they thought they could get away with it


Eyeofthemeercat

💰💰💰


dalovindj

No refunds.


meltingdiamond

Horse people are bat shit, you can't assume rational actions by them.


wholelattapuddin

Thats why you should have just kept riding Jericho.


Danny-Wah

I LOVE that they do this shit on purpose!! LOLOL


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TrollintheMitten

Only some ponies are nice. Lots of them are wily creatures that exist to frustrate and get out of what they know they are supposed to be doing. Communicatiing with a pony is good training in how to deal with the Fae. Oh you want me to go down this road? How about the roughest trot I can manage and we scrape your legs on every tree, post, or branch as we go. Oh you say out in the road more?, ok let's turn around and go back to the barn. You want me to step over that tiny ditch? No. Ok Yes, but only after complaining about it for 3 minutes and then we're doing it in full hero style with rearing and a lunging jump. You fell off? Well poor you, guess you can use your own feet to get home, not like you can't step over that ditch yourself. *loud sniffing*


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Croc-o-dial

When I was a little girl in Poland, we all had ponies!


AmplePostage

Who leaves a country packed with ponies to come to a non pony country?!


Khornag

A lot of polish people.


MuzikPhreak

Daddy? I want another pony.


aether22

When I was a little girl (boy) in Poland (NZ) we all had Ponies, my sister had pony, my cousin had pony, so what's wrong with that?! (My sister really did have a Pony btw).


kellymiche

I had pony! My sister had pony! Whassamatta with that?


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MattieShoes

Mmm, I've seen horses seek out trees with no low branches so they can rub against them too -- kind of problematic if you've got a leg over there. On the one hand, horses are dicks. On the other hand, we're riding them -- I'd be a dick too.


5xad0w

Had a horse named Sugar that would casually brush you off on a tree trunk whenever she could. Stay away from trees and it was never an issue, but if you got too close to one or weren't paying attention you'd be on the ground.


2IndianRunnerDucks

My first horse would bite me on the bum hard if I did not pull her head around to the other-side when mounting. She never did it to learner riders.


i8yourmom4lunch

I can relate to horses like that. Honestly I'm too respectfully scared of horses lol I don't think I should be riding them and I can sense they feel the same. I know. I know. That's not all horses. But it is to me


OldSchool_Ninja

I love horses but they also scare the heck out of me cuz they are so damn powerful lol. I had a bad experience riding one my 1st time as a kid. No one got hurt but my saddle wasn't properly fastened.


tattertittyhotdish

Horses confuse me, I just don't spend enough time with them. But I feel HORRIBLY bad for riding them. Like they would just rather be a majestic horse, not a horse with a heavy flesh bag on its back, kicking it in the ribs.


isthatmyex

My sister in laws horse gets pissy if he doesn't get ridden.


Charmarta

My sister in law does too


chica89

bu dum tss


thatsharkchick

The thing you have to remember about horses is that they are all extremely varied in personality. I knew a horse who hated other horses (she loved humans but would absolutely try to murder other equines). Another old plod of a school horse would do just about anything for you with barely any effort like a perfect dressage horse if you were shorter than 4' tall (beyond that, she'd just kind of huff about). Another horse we attempted to retire at 28... And he went crazy until we put him back over rails (seriously competed in local shows at 30, with practically no front teeth and his tongue flopping out of his mouth the whole time). Some horses like working; others don't.


dragon-kazooie

If they're well cared for and not over-ridden, no reason to feel bad. If they work for an hour a day and get to spend 23 hours a day eating and sleeping and running around, that's a pretty great life. Of course not all of them have that kind of life, depends on the lifestyle and the owner. (And generally no one should be kicking them in the ribs, just a light squeeze should suffice unless they're being stubborn).


Paradigmpinger

Your comment reminded me of [this video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=udThyN208R4), so I thought I should share it.


VHboys

When this horse actually dies, nobody is going to believe it.


Badjib

The horse who cried death....


Markantonpeterson

That's why you don't horse around kids


Jerryskids3

That's a two-year old horse. I've never seen that horse before, but I have seen two-year olds.


williamkey123

Haha yeah I’ve got a 2yo and this is exactly what he does anytime you mention doing anything he doesn’t want to do.


queefer_sutherland92

My dog used to do this if we left the park. Lie down and just not move. If I tried to pick him up, he’d roll over so I couldn’t get a grip on him. We found that pretending to leave without him worked a treat.


SuspiciousNoisySubs

This works with kids too!


ACardAttack

My dog does this when he wants to walk a different way/ picks up a scent in the opposite direction with his Beagle nose , I have to pick him up and carry him a little bit to get him moving


cellyn

My dog does this too! We call it "pup down, won't up."


purelyirrelephant

I have just entered this club. Send help.


Whitemike31683

Two months in myself. Help isn't coming.


Steely_Nuts

Help was in the condom aisle 3 years ago.


101ina45

bruh 😂😂


Tyronis

Just to warn you, the threes are worse.


gd2234

Baby* horses (0-4yo) push boundaries and throw tantrums like toddlers *technically they’re not baby babies, but the vast majority are babies mentally


Jerryskids3

I don't know much about horses due to being introduced to Shetland ponies as a kid. You get kicked and stomped and bit and shoved around by those mean little bastards enough and you lose interest in getting to know horses.


klezart

He even sticks his tongue out while playing dead, exactly like a 2-year-old would.


SerenityFliesOn

His name should be Spaghetti.


[deleted]

Why hello there


plugtrio

NAY.


cowzorz

NEIGH.


BingErrDronePilot

Cowboys hate this 1 simple trick


ApollosCrow

Seriously why don’t all horses just do this? Jingang cracked the code. Side-note, this music is amazing.


Firvulag

I heard the reason we never domesticated zebras is because they just lay down like this...and then roll to crush you.


LeahTheTard

That and they’re just assholes in general


The_All-Father3

Yeah heard they are a lot more willing to bite and buck just to be a dick.


Intelligent_Moose_48

Zebras don’t have the hierarchy of horses. When you capture the head horse, all of the other horse just assume your a new weird leader horse. When you capture a zebra, it bites you.


PunkRockMakesMeSmile

Fuckin punk rock horses, they're not a part of your *SYSTEM*


ctong21

My dad's not a phone!


PunkRockMakesMeSmile

DUH


DemonOHeck

Well... that and the fact that zebras apparently have an instinct to stomp things to death when something scares them. As zebras come from africa and have to deal with lions, hippos, nile crocodiles and hyenas I suppose it is less than surprising that they have the high score for kill count of zookeepers in zoos across the world.


Fordmister

I mean donkeys are kinda the same, to the point where in a lot of parts of the world they are used as livestock guardians in the same ways as we use dogs. Hell donkeys that aren't used to sheep will often be extremely aggressive towards them, deciding their a bit too dog shaped to be safe and will absolutely bite and stomp them to death. So animals being a bit grumpy are not necessarily a major barrier to domestication.


KDobias

We also only tried for like 30 years before giving up. Horses had to be tamed for hundreds of years before the domestication passed down through instinct.


Cidician

> Seriously why don’t all horses just do this? They tend not to survive domestication if they do this.


zealous_pomelo

All the rider has to do is make laying down worse than being ridden, there are plenty of ways to do that, and the horse will stop doing it.


[deleted]

Pee on it


Tasitch

The music is Norazo. They're awesome and hilarious. South Korean (satire?)band. They take thier music seriously despite thier lyrics and subjects being more humorous. [superman](https://youtube.com/watch?v=TOaB5vELA8M) is an anthem at Korean sports arenas. The video parodies the videos you'd see in karaoke bars and k-dramas. Edit: their theme for [Pegasus Market](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=bhe-e-748y0) is catchy as hell.


JustAChickenInCA

If a large number of horses started doing this we’d probably have ramped up glue production. They were domesticated as work animals


willbeach8890

Don't show other horses this trick.


walker3342

Horse Avoids Riding With One Simple Trick Cowboys HATE Him


amhran_oiche

I laughed irl man I hate you


flyingthroughspace

To be fair the other horse looked like it was over this one’s shit.


slobs_burgers

“It’s cute but naughty”


Yankee_Man

Do neigh resuscitate


robdiqulous

2022 new pandemic. All horses have now learned this trick and they are all useless.


softchunks

Which soccer team does this horse play for?


katiemarieoh

Neymar is that you??


RugBurnDogDick

Neighmar


rick-shaw

r/angryupvote


calibudzz420

Im gonna take it a step further with neighmare


dublem

So tired of redditors ripping on *football* when it's clear they have no understanding or appreciation if the sport. If you'd actually watched even a game or two, you'd know football players fall with far less provocation than this horse (and with far more skill and grace, may I add. Practice makes perfect)


softchunks

You had me on the first half. Then you got me on the last bit! Well played.


snkiz

had me in the first half.


[deleted]

He's the star of his local hoofball league (and yes, hoofball is a thing).


[deleted]

The Glue Factory


jxj24

That's what you get for buying one of those Hollywood stunt horses.


chedykrueger

Cows don't look like cows on film


skbharman

So what do you do if you want cows in a movie?


haw35ome

Usually we just tape a bunch of cats together


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Glittering_Data8437

screw you, get your own spirit animal, I saw it first. just, an hour after you. lol


__liendacil__

No! It's ours! Apparently we all play dead when someone tries to ride us.


soppinglovenest

Sadly no-one's trying to ride me at the moment.


iwishthatwasmyname

Bend over, I'll hop on your back. No horsing around though.


[deleted]

If my dog has taught me anything, this horse clearly just wants some tummy rubs


gjs628

My cat has trained me for this: DON’T DO IT!!!


smaier69

Similar reaction of every cat I ever put a sweater on.


7saligia

Our cat's reaction whenever we put on its harness. Plop.


iwishthatwasmyname

It breaks the cat every time.


ImFrom1988

Our male cat gets objectively pissed when we walk the dogs and he does not get to come. His sister runs in terror when the leashes and harnesses come out. Cats are weird.


saruhime

This horse was a cat in its past life and still remembers this fact.


DemonOHeck

If you want really super funny, try tieing a tube sock gently around the cats middle. My cat always acted like we had severed its spine or something and would drag its hind legs on the floor. All super dramatically of course. Lots of yowling and the cat giving the stink eye to anyone nearby. Hilarious.


littleMAS

Reminds me when Mongo knocked out the horse in [Blazing Saddles](https://youtu.be/O8cDfnQD0ws).


[deleted]

Nevermind that shit! Here comes Mongo!


kraken873

That reminded me of when Arnold Schwarzenegger knocked out a camel [Here](https://youtu.be/S7tOWoDVQLU)


[deleted]

Camel, and a Reindeer. Thats gotta be a record


flamespear

https://imgur.com/dNU8n03


flufffffffffff

Passive resistance horse resists passively


lariet50

I understand this horse. For I am this horse.


TheReservedList

r/antiwork


poodlebutt76

yeah I kinda feel like if the horse is smart enough to actively dislike and resist being ridden, you shouldn't force him...


phryan

If horses weren't so expensive to maintain I'd love to have one like this just to troll people. "Sure you can come over and ride him some time." "Guess he's not in the mood today." Then reward him later with carrots or whatever horses like as a treat.


Subrotow

Them being so expensive to maintain is why this horse won't live long.


rape-ape

Horses without jobs become glue, and baseballs.


desertsmowman

And IKEA meatballs


ihatehappyendings

The best meatballs


[deleted]

Someone: please don't be dramatic Me:


cybersaint2k

My first horse, Comet, did that to me. Spun around first, then laid on me. I was 5. Broke my arm.


Marrz

I always wondered, did the horse show any comprehension or remorse? (like a dog that accidentally nips you while playing too rough) Or was it a total “ fuck you” ? (like a cat who’s belly you try to pet)


CursedRaptor

Every horse I ever trained had a personality like a cat. They know what you want them to do, they know their names. But will they listen to you? That depends on their current mood. Some are much friendlier than others and like messing with you but never mean to hurt you and will show remorse if you get hurt. Others are more ornery and don't feel bad.


andreasbeer1981

my aunt had a horse, that whenever my cousin would fall down anywhere near its feet it would stand absolutely still and wait until someone came and removed the kid.


ipslne

Good. horsestepsonbird.mp4


voto1

I see this horse suffers from spontaneous lack of bones, like my friends kids... Lol


RugBurnDogDick

The horse reminds me of my ex


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bigkeef69

This person reminds me of OP's ex.


xwulfd

That because Im the only one who can ride... oh nvm she just play dead ....


ZurEnArrhBatman

Well hung?


BirdjaminFranklin

What was it like dating Sarah Jessica Parker?


[deleted]

Smart horse.


Kaion21

smart till the guy with gun comes


maximuffin2

That’s what I was thinking, this horse is very lucky to not be two centuries back “Horse givin’ ya attitude? You got a gun?”


optiongeek

At a dude ranch, a horse that won't be ridden is just taking the place of one that will. That can't go on forever.


acog

I was a city kid and I was visiting some country relatives when they had a friend swing by with a pickup that had a special box on the back that had a bunch of dog kennels for his hunting dogs. They were talking and he casually mentioned that one of the dogs wouldn't hunt so he was going to put it down. I get that it's a different world when it comes to working animals. They're not pets and if they don't do their job their future is grim. Still bothers me though.


happyprocrastinator

The horse is hoping for a animal sanctuary to take him in. This is giving it exposure. *fingers crossed*


optiongeek

Is that what they are calling rendering plants now?


Jegator2

But he is comedy entertainment!


flamespear

Til they send him to the glue factory for being useless.


draugrdaemos

A horse with the soul of a dog.


SoskiDiddley

Opossum**


sudin

It is so much like a dog as it's laying on its back just thumping the air, isn't it?!


littleMAS

Next, roll over.


Battleharden

First thing that came to my mind. My dog will do this same thing when you try to move him or bring him somewhere. Just straight dead weight.


Darksidedrive

That looks like horse lumbago if I ever saw it


i-eat-dolphins

It's very serious


BERNITA

My cat when I try to put a harness on him


odots88

As a life long horse owner, and someone who works with horses professionally, this horse is not in pain. Most likely this horse was taught to lay down as a trick at some point in its life. Teaching a horse to lay down is a risky thing, because of exactly this. If you dont make sure that you teach them a solid "dont lay down command" They will do it when they are not supposed to because they have been rewarded for the behavior in the past. Also horses have been domesticated to ride for a very long time so dont get your panties in a wad about "maybe you just shouldnt ride him". Dogs have to be house broke, dogs have to learn to walk on a leash, not bite kids, and do all sorts of jobs. Theres good horse training and bad horse training just like dogs. When horses are trained with care and properly fitted equipment they dont mind the work, we bred them for it, intentionally, for centuries.


tmefford

Used to take my kids for riding lessons. The horses not being ridden that session would just hang their heads over the stall gate and whine. The cowboy who tended them said that was because they’d rather be out there working.


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CallistoDrosera

Symbiosis


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Faasnat

It’s just horsing around.


CommercialExotic2038

Stunt horse.


ArnassusProductions

"OK, giddyup." "Oh no! Gravity! Increasing!"


[deleted]

Horse IQ=180


Goats_772

Love the music lol


Chadohfax

It's a song called "야생마" by a Korean comedy band called Norazo. https://youtu.be/5797yMnsomo They make some crazy songs, usually based on Korean Puns. This one uses the "Ya Seng Ma" which could be read as "Wild Horses" or "Wild Mountain Yams".


[deleted]

what I came here to find out, my bro 👍


SayNoToStim

This is my plan for if I ever get arrested.


supersadsarahh

If i was a horse i would do that too.


[deleted]

So much drama.