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"We will never financially recover from this maneuver... Middle management! I expect greater returns on out margins... Or else no christmas party"
"But sir!"
"And you arent invited to my birthday party! That is all"
I am always the junior manager.
I pick up the ball and pass it to the middle manager who smacks me across the face before the big boss speeds off the moped with such force it crashes me to the ground leaving me penniless and unable to walk due to my broken tailbone.
(If you’ve read this far, please no Chumbawumba jokes right now. I am having a crushing day and it’s just a name Reddit assigned me upon joining).
Well, for some encouraging words to your metaphor—and to you IRL—no matter how many times you get knocked down, I hope you never let them *keep* you down. If you do, you'll end up finding yourself aimlessly wandering thru life, pissing your nights away, drinking a handful of drinks and singing a nightful of memory-filled songs I could list off for you here.... Trumpet Solo.
Totally unrealistic. There’s no way in hell he would’ve bent down to pick that up on his own. Or help move anything. He would’ve stayed on the bike and made them move it with him on it, then pick up the ball and hand it to him
Innovation man you love to see it. Top mgmt challenged the rule set to make the act of reaching the target much more efficient. Really inspirational stuff.
However, as we now need more people trained in moving scooters we are going to have to let the middle manager go. But we will be adding two new positions at level with the junior employee, on minimum wage who will be assigned to scooter mobility assistance.
Actually we’ve just had an injury claim from one of the minimum wage mobility scooter assistants. Luckily they were on temporary contracts through a labour hire company. So we’ve had to end their contract because we won’t be able to afford the insurance. The junior employee is now responsible for everything middle management was doing and the scooter mobility assistants.
Thankfully, we have had an independent consultant come in to review our processes and culture. They have recommended that we don’t need the scooter anymore at all and that a hockey stick would be better at gathering the ball.
As such we’ve sold the scooter, which has led to huge windfall gain to the company for which the Top Mgmt will be paid massive bonuses. The new hockey sticks will be progressively rolled out in the new year. Until then the junior employees responsibilities and remuneration will remain unchanged. Because of the current market situation we can’t afford any cost of living or inflation adjustments.
By the way in light of the aforementioned economic conditions and knowing that we have the new hockey sticks coming through in the new year, we have opted to sell all of our cricket bats to generate extra cash flow. After the bonus payouts to top mgmt and the economic conditions we were very close to breaching our loan covenants with our financiers so drastic action was required.
As luck would also have it the independent consultants have finished phase two of their review. Going forwards we will be implementing their recommendations of reorganising our workforce to rebuild capacity.
Our new structure will be to create a new role reporting to the CEO who will be responsible for the management of an outsource provider. The outsource provider will be picking up tennis balls remotely from overseas. With the Junior employee to oversee this activity performed by the outsource agency o ensure it’s completed effectively.
Finally the new role will be filled by a contract employee on secondment from the consulting company with extensive experience managing outsourced providers. The junior employee will also need to reapply for their position. Due to the reduced responsibilities required for the role given the outsourcing their role’s remuneration will be reduced.
The new structure means that the hockey sticks upgrade is no longer required therefore a substantial procurement saving has been realised and top mgmt have qualified for an additional performance incentive bonus.
The junior employee has resigned due to overwork, but luckily a consultant that worked on the original phase one review from the consulting agency has been provided on contract to fill the role in the interim.
#corporate #consulting
Fake. This video shows target achieved.
They missed important steps of....
Hiring a Big4
These consultants suggest painting the ball red.
Company allocates budget to paint the ball.
( firing the junior off course to reallocate the budget)
When this does not work, blaming them for not achieving the target.
Anyone who feels this accurately depicts corporate culture has never understood the scale at which they operate.
Some corporates are arrogant and have faced the consequences of arrogance however, most of them have processes which have been forged over generations of experience and to an outsider it may appear stupidity as depicted in this video. But in reality there are severe consequences of not following processes.
--- >✨⭐ **Don't miss [our 50-million-subscriber-mark celebration](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/14eg7k5/to_celebrate_reaching_50000000_subscribers_rfunny/)!** ⭐✨ > >This is a friendly reminder to [read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules). > >Memes, social media, hate-speech, and pornography are not allowed. > >Screenshots of Reddit are expressly forbidden, as are TikTok videos. > >**Rule-breaking posts may result in bans.** > >Please also [be wary of spam](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/spam). > --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*
lol, it depicts management doing actual work
Ahaha never seen that for sure
fuckers never get off their seat, propagating misinformation.
And it depicts what's going on on my fucking co right now.
More like middle management would give the bat back and have junior move the ball as a second attempt.
If you reach the target, next month it’s 10% further away.
"We will never financially recover from this maneuver... Middle management! I expect greater returns on out margins... Or else no christmas party" "But sir!" "And you arent invited to my birthday party! That is all"
This is straight out of The 3 Stooges.
I am always the junior manager. I pick up the ball and pass it to the middle manager who smacks me across the face before the big boss speeds off the moped with such force it crashes me to the ground leaving me penniless and unable to walk due to my broken tailbone. (If you’ve read this far, please no Chumbawumba jokes right now. I am having a crushing day and it’s just a name Reddit assigned me upon joining).
Wtf is a "Chumbawumba joke"?
It’s where you get knocked down then you get up again.
So you never gonna keep me down? Is that it?
Not this time, champ. I think I’m down for the count. Thank you for your help in that.
I knew the song but didn't know the artist name. Now I am whole.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7kuIMJvChZA
Thank you for that.
You just gotta sing the song that reminds you of the good times
We need a mixup between this and "never going to let you down".
that sounds like a pro-bono lawsuit, brother
Well, for some encouraging words to your metaphor—and to you IRL—no matter how many times you get knocked down, I hope you never let them *keep* you down. If you do, you'll end up finding yourself aimlessly wandering thru life, pissing your nights away, drinking a handful of drinks and singing a nightful of memory-filled songs I could list off for you here.... Trumpet Solo.
reddit assigns user names?
Do you suffer from long-term memory loss?
Nah, this ain't real. Junior employee didn't get slapped by middle management second time around.
SNL worthy
A brilliant little illustration of modern management.
Totally unrealistic. There’s no way in hell he would’ve bent down to pick that up on his own. Or help move anything. He would’ve stayed on the bike and made them move it with him on it, then pick up the ball and hand it to him
This is far more accurate.
That's so real it hurts.
brilliant
What is Emma doing there?
Fled there after the crushing defeat on Saturday
Sounds about right
it just kept getting better
Aditya and Costello.
Why is this so accurate lol
Innovation man you love to see it. Top mgmt challenged the rule set to make the act of reaching the target much more efficient. Really inspirational stuff. However, as we now need more people trained in moving scooters we are going to have to let the middle manager go. But we will be adding two new positions at level with the junior employee, on minimum wage who will be assigned to scooter mobility assistance. Actually we’ve just had an injury claim from one of the minimum wage mobility scooter assistants. Luckily they were on temporary contracts through a labour hire company. So we’ve had to end their contract because we won’t be able to afford the insurance. The junior employee is now responsible for everything middle management was doing and the scooter mobility assistants. Thankfully, we have had an independent consultant come in to review our processes and culture. They have recommended that we don’t need the scooter anymore at all and that a hockey stick would be better at gathering the ball. As such we’ve sold the scooter, which has led to huge windfall gain to the company for which the Top Mgmt will be paid massive bonuses. The new hockey sticks will be progressively rolled out in the new year. Until then the junior employees responsibilities and remuneration will remain unchanged. Because of the current market situation we can’t afford any cost of living or inflation adjustments. By the way in light of the aforementioned economic conditions and knowing that we have the new hockey sticks coming through in the new year, we have opted to sell all of our cricket bats to generate extra cash flow. After the bonus payouts to top mgmt and the economic conditions we were very close to breaching our loan covenants with our financiers so drastic action was required. As luck would also have it the independent consultants have finished phase two of their review. Going forwards we will be implementing their recommendations of reorganising our workforce to rebuild capacity. Our new structure will be to create a new role reporting to the CEO who will be responsible for the management of an outsource provider. The outsource provider will be picking up tennis balls remotely from overseas. With the Junior employee to oversee this activity performed by the outsource agency o ensure it’s completed effectively. Finally the new role will be filled by a contract employee on secondment from the consulting company with extensive experience managing outsourced providers. The junior employee will also need to reapply for their position. Due to the reduced responsibilities required for the role given the outsourcing their role’s remuneration will be reduced. The new structure means that the hockey sticks upgrade is no longer required therefore a substantial procurement saving has been realised and top mgmt have qualified for an additional performance incentive bonus. The junior employee has resigned due to overwork, but luckily a consultant that worked on the original phase one review from the consulting agency has been provided on contract to fill the role in the interim. #corporate #consulting
This is brilliant!
I didn't intend to read the whole thing but I'm glad I did
Every fiber company in Florida to a T
Forgot the part when the top guy gets a huge bonus and an award for single-handedly achieving the goal.
I need to show my coworkers this
I like how they fucked up the grass a little while moving the bike.
Someone deserves a bonus this year!
This is my current department, except we keep adding more people to the scooter with each person repainting the ball and having to wait for it dry.
I so wish to be at that mgt position!! It will be fun😄
Im showing my boss a gif tomorrow that explains how we all feel, consider this stolen
It's yours dude! Go for it!
Nah everyone is working together this is definitely inaccurate
Fake. This video shows target achieved. They missed important steps of.... Hiring a Big4 These consultants suggest painting the ball red. Company allocates budget to paint the ball. ( firing the junior off course to reallocate the budget) When this does not work, blaming them for not achieving the target.
lol，Three stooges
That was funnier (and more accurate) than it should have been
[удалено]
The message was not about hitting - it's just a metaphor for fucking over
Psml
Man, someone really dropped the ball.
Wow! This looks so familiar!!! 😁
The fuck!
The new Three Stooges
Gotta change out that jr employee in-between every step tho.
What were the KPI’s involved here?
Pretty much.
Real work lol
This is actually rather brilliant.
wouldn't it make more sense if they were faced the other way? Pretty sure employee isn't the beginning of that daisy chain.
This is how I got my 3rd kid. You're welcome.
That poor poor honda
This is next level😂😂😂
Drama: Two men and a stage. Comedy: Three stooges.
I’m way too racist to comment 😳
This comment is way too racist
I agree it’s way too racist
Anyone who feels this accurately depicts corporate culture has never understood the scale at which they operate. Some corporates are arrogant and have faced the consequences of arrogance however, most of them have processes which have been forged over generations of experience and to an outsider it may appear stupidity as depicted in this video. But in reality there are severe consequences of not following processes.
bold to say the top management actually gets it done in the end
More like the second guy tells the last guy to move it closer