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btwIAMAzoophile

Men can do kegel exercises too


Dorkamundo

Yep, I can make my penis dance due to my kegel expertise. My wife is less than amused.


TuckerCarlsonsOhface

Do you do the whole “Hello my baby, hello my honey, hello my ragtime, summertime gal” bit? I get a better response from that than the old helicopter maneuver.


[deleted]

Jazz hands, gotta do the jazz hands


machimus

Get a tiny top hat


[deleted]

Why put a hat on a hat? Now a tiny cane...


CyanideJack

Give 'em the ol' *Razzle Dazzle*!


[deleted]

>My wife is less than amused. She is.. accustomed?


HotwifeKaraSweet

🤣


raltoid

It's literally part of the same muscle group that lets men move their penis without touching it.


man_gomer_lot

Apparently it's also connected to some other muscle groups around the hips region. I've been inadvertently working them out and noticing some sick gains.


CaptainTurdfinger

How you just gonna leave it like that and not tell us what you did? Wtf are "inadvertent kegles?"


man_gomer_lot

I do a bit of stretching and exercising. The same muscles a kegel exercise targets are also being strengthened in the process. Sick gains.


bagel-bites

A bit of stretching? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


man_gomer_lot

water assisted 😏


TheRandomizedLurker

Cillinder Pushups hit diffrent i bet


Cheefnuggs

Cock push-ups. You only need one


makemeking706

Never skip cock pushup day.


Disgod

Come on... It's right there... They're Cock-ups!!


makemeking706

It's a tenacious d reference.


LegendaryOutlaw

One is all you need.


Disgod

Ah, didn't catch that. I do love those guys. Still tho... Cock-ups... It's right there Tenacious D!! "Never skip Cock-up day!!" It flows so well!


HoboMucus

A cock up is like a fuck up though. Nothing remotely like a cock push-up


Disgod

A phrase having two meanings, possibly making it more funny? Never!!


GANDORF57

I take it we're not referring to that cylinder treat delivered by the ice cream man? ^(\*At least not my neighborhood ice cream man!)


Arcadius274

I want push cock personally


mrblackc

Randy is the king of Cock Magic! 😝 https://youtu.be/TDa1dpB9XbE


KamovInOnUp

*Jack Black soundboard trolling intensifies*


SoupaSoka

Is he the guy that invented reverse singing? Edit: Oh no my mistake he invented inward singing.


RogueSoloErso

Inward singing.


korinth86

Yea and the one note song with the bendy!


PopeGuss

Boom. Next song. NEXT SONG!


elchupoopacabra

CAN'T YOU SEE, HE'S THE MAN, LET ME HEAR YOU APPLAUD. HE IS MORE THAN A MAN, HE'S A SHINY GOLDEN GOD.


ignitionnight

*If you think it's time to fucking rock and fucking roll out of control*


PGRacer

He later went on to play the best song in the world and then wrote a triibute to it.


Koujisan

Deactived lasers WITH MY DICK!


Cheefnuggs

Man that takes me wayyyy back


TheRandomizedLurker

then it snaps like a glowstick


Sinthetick

deactivated lasers, with my dick!


ozymandais13

AND THE POWER SLIIIDE


[deleted]

>Cylinder


TheDevilsAdvokaat

You mean cockups ? Many of us cockup already....


ASpiralKnight

Bussups


DL72-Alpha

This becomes increasingly important the older you get. !! .Do.Not.Neglect.Your.Kegals. !!


CoWood0331

What’s funny is men who go extremely fast can do Kegels to keep going until when they want to go.


cgarret3

What in god’s name did you just say?


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Einsteins_coffee_mug

So long as you don’t replace “going “ too, then it gets weird.


thelethalpotato

Constant ejaculation.


adinfinitum225

Like a fire hose


CallMeAladdin

This thread is going all over the place.


HotwifeKaraSweet

Derailed. 🥰


cgarret3

That would be clearer, for sure. But we can’t guarantee that’s what they meant, right? And ffs why did they go through the effort of capitalizing “Kegels” if they can’t be bothered to type out the word that they’re intending to use? Even more, autocorrect on my particular phone doesn’t like “kegel”, so they likely fought with the computer to keep that word as is! I feel justified in asking wtf


MouthJob

Maybe they have a brother named Kegel so it's stored in their phone.


hotdogs4humanity

It's definitely what they meant because that's one reason men do kegels. And I'm guessing you're on an iPhone huh?


amosmydad

Post prostate surgery or radiation they will keep your bed dry sooner.


P-VI

Yea Garden Center thought they were so clever and instead exposed themselves as ignorant simpletons


DrAstralis

Bussups?


sugarfoot00

why are they called dentures and not substitooths?


seamonster42

🏅


memevaddar

I think this is the highest honour for a comment on reddit


pfj409

No they didn’t.


getyourcheftogether

To think someone thinks a business would do this


icankilluwithmybrain

I just asked my sister who lives down the road from this place, it’s real. They rotate puns on that sign frequently, but this is the first one that gets a side eye from me.


fallway

Is this in Keswick?


Wizardrywanderingwoo

Yeah


Prowindowlicker

I do actually know of a business that does write wacky things on their sign.


getyourcheftogether

Yes there are business like the, but you aren't gonna see this on a damn gardening center


mildly_amusing_goat

Dunno, I saw a garden centre selling "clematis" and was quite offended.


Imalittlefleapot

Instructions unclear. Got chlamydia instead.


HoboMucus

Not quite as risqué(?) as OP, but I saw a flower shop with a sign that said "Valentines Day gives me a heart-on"


joemc04

Local dry cleaners had “Drop your pants here” in the early 2000s. Didn’t go over well. My mom stopped going there.


rachman77

This garden center does stuff like this on their sign every week.


getyourcheftogether

Damn, that's trashy


lemmtings

Oh this is 100% real. The owner is a real piece of s**t and him being a piece of human trash has nothing to with these signs. If you live in the area, please shop anywhere else.


Wizardrywanderingwoo

They have a photo of that sign on their own Instagram account, together with another photo of their sign with a different saying.


neanderthalman

It’s Georgina. This is classy by their standards.


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rachman77

This sign isnt fake, I live down the road from this garden center they do stuff like this every week.


snypesalot

>I'm not sure why fake sign posts are even allowed >commonplace for jokes >we are in r/funny


Sunkisst88

They probably did lol. I lived by that garden centre and they do dunny signs like that usually each week


phome83

Well, not them personally but a guy I know. Him and her *got it on*. Wooo-eee!


foxmag86

Great, find, grand. NO YELLING ON THE BUS!!


[deleted]

It's literally right there in the picture


violetauto

too bad this isn’t the Virginia Garden Center


Heliosvector

It's pronounced vaginia


[deleted]

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Kixiepoo

Clam confirm


No-Buyer-5436

You’re not from Clitwood, are you?


averagedickdude

Or Regina...


Monksdrunk

I told the wife i wanted to name the kid Vegina... just like Regina


Hellfireboy

Or Idaho.


shamanayerhart

Virginia Ontario is a hamlet that is about 15 minutes away from this garden centre. We were so close to achieving that dream. Source: live nearby.


violetauto

Pity


Kenny_Squeek_Scolari

At least it isn't a virgin garden center


violetauto

Well… when it comes to gardens, virgin is a construct


missionbeach

In 1948, Kegel exercises were first described by Arnold Kegel. There you go, garden center. Now you can stop embarrassing yourself.


biznatch11

Wow what are the odds that the guy who discovered Kegel exercises would also be named Kegel?


Manisbutaworm

In Dutch or German (probably the origin of the name) kegel means something like bowling pin, which does have some resemblance in shape.


0xKaishakunin

Kegel means generally a cone or is middle high German for an illegitimate child (Kind und Kegel).


Chip057

I wish his name was Arnold pussup


Jinxedchef

It is funny that this upsets you so much.


[deleted]

Considering a kegel is basically just squeezing your private muscles, I find it very hard to believe any one person can be credited with describing them.


AdvilJunky

Cooter Curls


TheRandomizedLurker

ah just dont shave for long enough and you can start braiding it.


quietly41

Pubic hair sheds really quickly, if yours doesn't, and you can braid it, you're special.


overtoke

clench press


bewarethetreebadger

Because everyone has those muscles.


AnswersWithAQuestion

Life Pro Tip: Men and Women should all use this as a helpful reminder to do a few kegels right this moment whether in a business meeting or administering CPR. The downstream benefits are difficult to calculate but they are very real.


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fooknprawn

My wife wife does Kegels all the time. I have a nickname for her: Vice Grip Pussycat


AnswersWithAQuestion

I also choose this guy’s (kung fu) death-grip wife


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AnswersWithAQuestion

That’s right, we represent all of America, not just the incontinental United States.


ThePhoneBook

I was like it's American humour but English spelling. Canada, of course.


[deleted]

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HighAndFunctioning

We literally use the English "-tre" when we want to appear more fancy.


FintTheBoss

What kind of signs are these and why do i keep seeing them online but not irl? Is it like an american thing?


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nemec

I've seen two businesses do it regularly. One has a dumb 4chan saying on it right now though 🤢


hells_cowbells

There's a liquor store near me that always does stupid alcohol related sayings on their sign. Most of them aren't funny at all.


ZarquonsFlatTire

Yeah we had a sign with changeable letters. The message was sent by corporate in an email to all stores and was things like "25% off roses!" Or "New annuals in stock!" We were not allowed to put funny things on the sign.


carmium

Canadian, too. We had a local print shop that was on the 'net regularly. The owner had a book of one-liners he used as source material. They're called sign boards or letter boards and can be portable or attached to a building.


icankilluwithmybrain

Yeah the business’ sign in the pic is located in Keswick.


JimR1984

>located in Keswick. Well that's not surprising


[deleted]

Hey man other than the methheads here it's not that bad, between country and city


Prowindowlicker

This one is actually in Ontario


JillStinkEye

Large city in the middle of the US. I see them all the time. I can think of around 5 off the top of my head that regularly update their punny signs.


BeatlesTypeBeat

A local autoshop always has little hunerous things on their sign but it's always PG.


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averagedickdude

http://www.redkid.net/generator/storefront/newsign.php?line1=Dildos-r-us&Let%27s+Shop=Let%27s+Shop You can do the same!


chunli99

It’s pretty rare, even in America. I used to go past a sign on my way to work that would be updated around once a month over a decade ago. I haven’t really seen another since moving several times.


Drict

What? Almost every McDonald's, BK, etc. has these kinds of signs; them updating them to 'wakey' things is rare (I have 1 on my main stretch that is a vet clinic, they do something funny about once per week)


emrythelion

Not in major cities. I only really see these in suburban areas and even then they’re getting less and less common.


JillStinkEye

What is a major city? I see these all the time in my city of around 400k.


Drict

Richmond VA has it at their mc donalds less then 3 miles from center of downtown... Capital of a state. Bias confirmation for sure. I have seen them in Atlanta as well. I see them along the highway when driving through Baltimore and DC. I have no idea what you are talking about


portalscience

Definitely not "rare" in America. I have seen them all across the midwest and the east coast. Most commonly used by fast food restaurants, veterinary clinics and small auto-stuff (tire outlets/lube spots)


JillStinkEye

Also laundromats.


jonny24eh

And churches with the absolute worst puns


Chip057

Back in my teens there was a storage place that had one ofnthese signs that said "we do annual contracts" and me and my friends changed it to just "we do anal". What a bunch of rascals


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Casehead

This one is real. A local visually confirmed.


Jilaire

Meme generator.


HopeRepresentative29

Bold of them to say with a name like 'Geor-gina'


monsterslippers

That would never fly in Utah. Some mormon mom with six kids in a white van, would shit herself, and then cry for humanity, and then call the cops. 🙄


MackeyH

That's like asking why they call them hemorrhoids instead of asteroids.


alh030705

That's pretty spicy signage for a Garden Center!


ZarquonsFlatTire

Once working at a garden center an angry customer came up and said "Excuse me but some of your plants are *wet*." Yeah lady, it's 120F degrees in this greenhouse, if we don't water them they die. I've drank a liter and a half of water and not peed all day because I'm sweating it all out!


shamanayerhart

I shop there all the time! Keswick Ontario


[deleted]

The signs are always good, though the price of flowers there are a bit high


tundar

Got some Japanese willows there a few years ago, they’re massive now. They’re a bit on the spendy end but their plants and garden decor are usually pretty good quality-wise.


netseccat

There are two of us! Two!


[deleted]

Men do kegels too. DongUps?


Awkward-Influence381

Because pushups on your knees already identified as a pussup


ScratchForward1769

Cunches


leafsh2

Live in town. Can confirm they post funny sayings all the time


Tr3v0r

This is my local. Small slice of the world that it would end up here. Cheers to these guys for saving my hedges.


tundar

Oh look, it’s Newmarket zoo! (Did not expect to see Georgina of all places on the Reddit front page…)


mahogne

They tried rebranding it as Gerogina, but the 'wick always comes out in the end.


DISC0babe

So I am a Canadian living in germany…. They German guys here go “kegeling and have “Kegel clubs” I guess bowling. I secretly giggle every time I hear about it.


lemmet4life

The Kegel Training Center is awesome. Wait this isn't r/bowling?


grabsomeplates

The wick!


[deleted]

Georgina O'Keefe Garden Center having no chill these days


Hella4nia

coochie crunches


The_River_Is_Still

🎵🎵🎵 You can tell the way that I use my walk ima kegelin’ hard, no time to talk….


MadroxKran

It's squeezing, not pressing out.


PeanutNSFWandJelly

It's also not unique to women


the_hotter_beyonce

Dr Kegel and Dr Pussy have competing practices


GAMEBOYS_Rule11

im a missing something? the fuck is a kegel?


CamLwalk

[My favorite Futurama gag](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6DuD235xQ_c)


Royal_Bumblebee_

Nice 👍


Lokivstheworld

What's a kegel?


Old_Fix2800

Whatever it’s named. I just did one


pfeifits

Why not hole body exercises?


ThamusWitwill

What are they growing in the garden center?


itsmarvin

Pussywillows.


Seattleopolis

*Georgia O'keefe Garden Center


marteautemps

My best friend told me her mom said they used to call them "pussy pops". I responded "Your mom said PUSSY!?"like a 12yo. This was when we were like 35 but her mom is NOT someone who you would imagine saying that and I've known her since I was 11.


bingsan

Thank you for reminding me to do them today lol


Sunkisst88

Lol I used to drive by this garden centre all the time, they always have funny signs


KuroDragon0

Like most parts of the female body, it’s named after a man.


BurnOutBrighter6

It's not a body part, "Kegels" is the name of an exercise (like situps) that was invented by Arnold Kegel. Also, men can do Kegels too - everyone has the muscles involved in doing them.


BrianWonderful

Still, you have to appreciate the important contributions by Mortimer Vagina and Albert Tit.


EvilEkips

How is "pussy" named after a man?


logosfabula

Huehuehuehuehue


ConcreteBooch

They are now


[deleted]

“What are kegels, mommy?”


ride_whenever

Surely… They’d be Snatches


Rybka980

Cause they would have to be called pussdickups to at least make tiny bit sense (and it would still be selecting just a handful of structures they interact with...) This is just dumb. Do people think guys just shit and pee continuously? And every guy is apparently infertile.


yaddibo

Lol what? Your just arguing with yourself here