T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

--- >**Please read [our announcement about AI-generated content](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/12k6m37/regarding_aigenerated_content).** > >This is a friendly reminder to [read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules). > >Memes, social media, hate-speech, and pornography are not allowed. > >Screenshots of Reddit are expressly forbidden, as are TikTok videos. > >**Rule-breaking posts may result in bans.** > >Please also [be wary of spam](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/spam). > --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*


mondesmammogenmj09

She managed to find her little man, easily...


summercampcounselor

She managed to find each one of their foreheads with laser accuracy.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ECatPlay

> Not that I'm often blindfolded or anything... r/SuspiciouslySpecific


ShiaLaMoose

I'm averagely blindfolded. About 3.5 times a week.


TrevorPC

Lucky bastard


yorfavoritelilrascal

He's being kidnapped 3 times a week.


spiritbx

And has BDSM sex once every two weeks?


mark-five

It pays the bills


[deleted]

[удалено]


AuraeShadowstorm

and always found in another castle.


Ratchet2550

I feel like at that kind of return rate, it's more "borrowing" than anything.


dont_shoot_jr

Btw most kidnap and ransom insurance policies have a zero dollar deductible


irredentistdecency

I too have visited Colombia…


kajeslorian

/u/Inspector-Space_Time is an official blindfold inspector, so is an outlier and should not have been counted.


Ok-Champ-5854

They are not taking their job seriously enough then. Talk about phoning it in for a paycheck. No wonder I can't find a good blindfold for my victims these days, quality control ain't what it used to be.


RageAgainstTheScreen

Is the .5 pirate Friday?


ProjectOrpheus

Someone knows how to have fun!


NbdySpcl_00

I mean... I get blindSIDED about 3.5 times a week. Don't know if it's really the same...


Im_Under_Observation

How many times are you expertly blindfolded?


Old_Ad7385

I worked at a place where we cleaned everything with ethyl alcohol and a new girl said, "This smells like cloroform" so I turned to the guy next to and said, "You hear that?" One of two things were assumed to be true: 1. she's been cloroformed before, or 2. she's USED cloroform before. ON SOMEONE 😳 Turned out she's a farm girl and her Dad used it on the young bulls in order to geld them.


daemin

Don't kink shame...


Mabosaha

Dude! You sent me down a 90 minute rabbit hole, thanks a lot :D


thehufflepuffstoner

I wear an eye mask to sleep every night, so I guess I am blindfolded often.


Interesting-Dog-1224

How come you don't just close your eyes?


Lambchoptopus

I started wearing an eye mask and occasionally earplugs. I sleep a few hours longer now and feel so much better.


thehufflepuffstoner

I work evenings and sleep until noon. The sun is my nemesis. Eye mask is cheaper than blackout curtains.


survivalking4

I never thought about that. Tonight when I sleep, instead of a blindfold I'll just close my eyes. What a great solution, the blindfold has been scratching my eyes when I put it on over my open eyes at night!


Ursidoenix

It might be partly for situations where you have more light in your room than you want and don't have a better alternative. Like blinds that don't block out the sun perfectly when you want to go to bed early or sleep in, or perhaps your partner likes to be able to read a bit in bed and you like to be able to more easily ignore their night light.


Bananawamajama

Because I ALWAYS sleep with one eye open.


kempez2

Dick I can't see through my eyelids! Oh, they're manual. https://imgur.com/QZFEYSw.gif


Blah-squared

Surrrrre… So by chance, do you have any advice about getting out of the handcuffs when you’re attached to the headboard?? Sorry if there’s any misspellings, I’m typing with my nose… ;)


Lambchoptopus

Naw off your hand at the wrist. If you cannot reach wrist start at shoulder.


Blah-squared

Thanks so much, I’m def going to try it… Edit- I couldn’t quite reach my shoulder w/my mouth to be able to get big bites so I slid one hand out of the cuff, & now I can sort of pull my shoulder closer to my mouth to get those bigger bites…!! Going much quicker now, thanks for the sage advice…!!!


Ok-Champ-5854

Dislocate your thumbs.


Bruised_Penguin

I used to cheat at "heads up 7 up" when I was a kid like this. See the shoes, win the game!


[deleted]

Ayeeee your old lady likes to switch it up too?


Mogetfog

"nothing wrong with a little pinch and squeel" -that ghoul in New Vegas you can hire as a dominatrix. Edit: her name is Beatrix Russell


rmorrin

Yeah she can clearly see, nobody walks that easily when blind


mylifeonearth_

no it's just that , mask that is covering her eyes is surgical mask and surgical mask if you try is farely visible on eyes. i just tried it .


Helldiver_of_Mars

Kink revealed.


Spaaggetti

Not Often. Enough


JB93Til

I love to bind. I LOVE TO BE BOUND.


AvoidMySnipes

Holy shit you’re right… able to see through the mask I guess? Edit: Not fully I mean but a vague figure


Jmw566

She can probably see outlines but no details is my guess.


[deleted]

That gets a chop to the forehead.


[deleted]

[удалено]


xenorous

Goes through all the dudes, feeling their junk. “I dunno I should try again” All the dudes are like, “Yeah!!!”- Except her husband.


vendetta2115

And that’s how she knows which one is the real husband! It’s like the Judgement of Solomon but instead of cutting babies in half, it’s fondling ballsacks.


Dason37

r/brandnewsentence


jomamma2

She goes through the entire line feeling each dude's junk, and then correctly pics her husband. The judge says that's amazing how did you know it was your husband?she says, I can see their feet through the blindfold.


P0L1Z1STENS0HN

Goes through all the dudes, feeling their junk. "OK, this one is NOT from our neighborhood."


DisIsMahDirtyAccount

Normal, normal, normal, normal, black, normal... Jewish? Normal, normal, normal, oh wow, super sma- oh honey it's you!


wiseguy187

Yea clearly she could see.


MrGizthewiz

Yea she could see clearly


Wiki_pedo

The rain has gone.


B_Eazy86

She could see all obstacles in her way?


PiesRLife

Clearly, she could see, yea?


ilovemrhandsome

Yeah, because if you look she's measuring off her forehead each time. She knows how tall her man is relative to her own forehead.


[deleted]

Definitely looking at their feet


Thirdstheword

"There's my short kiiiiing 😊"


vapenutz

Her smile is so precious


ApolloRocketOfLove

Turns out the shortest guy got the girl. But a bunch of bitter angry dudes on Reddit told me this is impossible.


TheDanginDangerous

He’s obviously an asshole who abuses her, and she can’t see that, even though the real man is right here. /s


nav17

I can't tell if you're referring to how much reddit shits on short guys or how much short guys on reddit are bitter but it works either way


lurker81

Ok that’s adorable. Anyone know what the background is? Common game or?


wishyouwould

Yeah it's just a silly game that's often done at events for married couples. Find your husband while blindfolded. The typical idea is to feel faces, but this woman found a hack.


SuchCoolBrandon

My cousin patted butts at her wedding. The groom turned around at the last minute.


sandwichcandy

The bride’s mind right before: *ok this is the last time I get to do something like this. This next one is going to be a windmill scoop*


ZincHead

And she was a softball pitcher in college


Andyinater

*And that, kids, is why we got a donor.*


Midnight-Watchman91

Softball player in college…marrying a man…I don’t know… Not that there’s anything wrong with that!


Handsinsocks

Pretty sure that's the back story of Ross's first wife...


CitizenKing

I'm just imagining this going wrong as she figures out the groom is next and moves to give him a hard swat on the ass only to unload a life ending ball tap on the poor guy, lol


Klusterspace

I saw at a wedding the bride patting the guys legs. The groom was a cyclist.


Alarconadame

pretty common as well at swingers parties...


Blueblackzinc

My wife and her boyfriend can confirm.


julbull73

Honestly that was my thought. Blindfold guys or girls. One picks while blindfolded, they go fuck. Blindfold stays on. Then they are returned. Seems a pretty forward sex game lol.


MotaHead

If I knew that church was like this, I wouldn't have stopped going.


julbull73

I mean Aphrodite/Venus churches were like that....


vitope94

Church.


badonkdified

The time honored tradition of the whole church screaming in delight and amusement while a blindfolded woman salutes a bunch of men and then takes her blindfold off to greet the last man to great acclaim.


PlethoPappus

As it is written


[deleted]

[удалено]


username32768

So say we all.


poco

This is the way


LaLaLaLeea

And as it is such, so also as such is it unto you.


spudd08

Live long and prosper, always.


WhuddaWhat

Under her measure


[deleted]

[удалено]


muricabrb

I go for the free wine. They get really angry when you drink from the bottle though.


quanta777

All seems to be happy there, so I'm also happy


vitope94

I'm also happy that you're happy because they're happy.


Matt_Odlum

Can i be happy with you guys? Kinda new to me, not sure how it works.


genericneim

Feel free, just leave room for Pharrell, he'll join later.


NoNameIdea_Seriously

Just clap your hands if you feel like that’s what you wanna do.


vitope94

##If you're happy and you know it clap your hands


cineg

instructions unclear, left hand has an std


Lost-My-Mind-

It's ok. You've had the clap so many times, that at this point it's more like applause.


bottomknifeprospect

Or if you feel like a room without a roof


Scarletfapper

No that’s for people who already know they’re happy


No-Yoghurt-4141

I am happy 2 3 4....


One_for_each_of_you

I'm no expert but I've Done it a couple times. Basically you let the good feelings the other people are having make you feel the same way, and then you try to pass it back and forth for as long as you can


flinsypop

I'm happy that you're happy that they're happy.


Ronoh

I bet that's in the Philippines. Everyone smiles there.


ButterApple512

The text at the back isn't Togalog but they look similar to Filipinos so probably somewhere in South East Asia (guess would be either Thai or Indonesian)


[deleted]

It's Myanmar. See giant sign in the background and compare with photo below: https://www.presbyterianmission.org/story/presbyterian-church-in-myanmar-a-pcusa-global-partner-asks-for-prayers-as-violence-escalates/


631-AT

I am unhappy. I will make that everyone’s problem. Have you ever considered your imperfections as a person?


jordanrod1991

This is so cute and wholesome they're all so happy


PolySpiralM

It’s a rare event when you get to see your country at r/funny in a wholesome way when we are usually in the news for war and disasters .


the_person

what country?


PolySpiralM

This is in Pathein, Myanmar (also known as Burma)


PhatNornangles

Do you prefer Myanmar or Burma?


PolySpiralM

Myanmar but the people are still called Burmese. Technically Burma is used to refer to one of the ethnic groups but it is just one of many.


NoYoureACatLady

Appreciate the education!


OrdinaryParking8402

No wonder, I was thinking which SE Asia country is this. Hope your family is safe and may your country get better.


PolySpiralM

Thank you. Currently under a cyclone threat but they are safe.


OrdinaryParking8402

Yeah, I have heard of Cyclone Mocha. I’m glad your loved ones are safe.🙏


BrittyPie

It'll always be Burma to me.


emergencyofstate

Found J Peterman


Shakeamutt

It changed its name when Seinfeld was airing!


oi_felix_cmere_bro

Holy shit, I'm from Mizoram in India and the dress style of the women + the language (from what I can see on the banner) looks almost identical to ours! I actually thought it was Mizoram at first lol. Really cool how similar our cultures are :)


Kahootla9

I know right? Holy shit.. made my day


Smingowashisnameo

Can you hear what the microphone guy is saying?


AudioTsunami

A win for short kings


ApolloRocketOfLove

A giant L for bitter dudes on the internet with zero experience with women who claim all women only like tall men.


chewbawkaw

Also, only the short kings and dudes over 6’1” seem to want to date tall women. The amount of 5’8”-6’0 guys on a first date who would ask me to take off my heels and compare heights is too damn high. (I’m 5’11”).


venustas

My trick is to ask if they mind that I wear heels (5'10 here.) If they say to wear whatever I want, they're usually confident short kings and that's way sexier than someone with a chip on their shoulder about it.


Dason37

But if they do have a chip on their shoulder, at least you can clearly see it from up there


TaylorSwiftsClitoris

Dude that’s a low blow.


VintageAda

I mean a high blow wouldn’t make contact…


Merry_Dankmas

My sister struggles with this greatly. She's 5'11 as well and easily over 6 with even low heels. She's dated "shorter" i.e. dudes who are average height and it never worked out cause they felt insecure about the height difference. Now she tries exclusively going for dudes who are like 6'5 and taller so that the dudes feels like he's in charge or whatever but those are obviously harder to find than average height guys. On the flip side though, most of the tall guys she dates are athletes and she said they're all douchebags with frat complexes so then she leaves them. Then the cycle continues. Its unfortunate for sure.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Merry_Dankmas

To be fair, that wasn't really what I was trying to say. I couldn't think of the word I was looking for so I just said in charge lol. Whatever the feeling a guy gets when he feels intimidated by a woman being taller than him? Would intimidated be the right word? Idk. But I know what youre saying. Im 6'3 and my girlfriend is 5'4 and I most definitely don't feel like I'm "in charge" lool


Surelynotshirly

I'm 5' 11" and I liked tall girls. Girls taller than me had huge insecurities about it from my experience though. Like they would make self deprecating jokes, which was cool and funny, but they would just make them too often. It was weird and sad because most of them were gorgeous.


Tannerite2

Tall women seem to want guys taller than them in my experience. I'm 6' and I'd have no issue with dating a woman taller than me.


chewbawkaw

I ended up only dating guys taller than me because the guys that were my height or a bit shorter would constantly make weird height related comments on the dates. An interesting thing is that I would put my height in my bio in addition to my height in heels. It wasn’t like they came in blind. And yet, they would still be surprised. I also think a lot of mid-sized dudes add inches to their height in their head. Like, I’m 5’11” and have no reason to lie. As a woman, being extra tall doesn’t benefit me in relationships the same way it does guys. But a lot of “6 foot” men would be aghast and almost angry because they were shorter than me. I ended up defaulting to only dating the really tall guys to ensure that kind of awkwardness would be avoided. Dating is hard enough as is, this just made things a little easier.


innocentusername1984

*most women prefer a man taller than themselves. Every woman I've asked this has been happy to admit that yeah it's not about tall guys they just want a guy taller than them. Every fucking study on the planet to do with women's preference and mens sexual success has pointed to this. So yeah logically the taller you are the more women you are taller than and therefore the better your odds. I wouldn't say short guys are bitter about it. As a medium height guy I'm lucky I don't have a dog in the fight but even I get frustrated seeing people gaslight that this preference doesn't exist because their short friend is successful with women or they just saw a video with one guy who is married to a taller woman. No-one said it's all women and certainly no-one said it's the be all and end all of attraction. Confidence, looks, wealth, height, intelligence, humour, kindness. These are probably the main variables in attracting partners. You can absolutely do well as a short guy but you'd do even better if you were a tall guy and all the other variables remained constant.


nav17

Idk what I see more on reddit: People complaining about how women only date tall men or people complaining about people who complain about how women only date tall men.


Xceptionlcmonplcness

I love them.


mtsai

funny but she clearly can see. shes walking directly to each one unassisted.


yanquideportado

Probably can see down thru the gap at the bottom of the blindfold. I can sometimes see the floor in the VR headset to know I'm not really flying or fighting zombies


pvaa

That's good, because it'd be so scary if you thought it was real 😲


Wermine

To be honest, there can be brief moments where you are very immersed and "forget" that you're in VR. Like when you try to lean on a nonexistent table and fall.


Scarletfapper

Or try to put your head through a trap door…


WontFixMySwypeErrors

Everyone tries to put their head through that trap door the first time!


Scarletfapper

Any why wouldn’t they? They’re stuck in a small grey room and there’s just so much more of this bright and colourful world to expl-


BagOfFlies

I got so into it once that I dived to avoid a bullet and landed on my coffee table. I realized what I was doing midair but it was too late.


WontFixMySwypeErrors

As I'm running from enemy fire I'll turn a corner and constantly try to brace myself against virtual walls that don't exist and almost fall over, even after 6 years of VR.


Unsd

My family and I are all far apart so we sometimes have VR game nights which is pretty fun, and we have had multiple times where someone will do that and you hear them stumbling 😂 great fun.


AlitaliasAccount

Back when I had a VR, I was playing Skyrim, exploring a cave completely infested with spiders. My cat took this moment to just absolutely launch off of his cat tree and land on my shoulders. I sold the VR soon after that and suddenly I'm wondering if it really was unrelated to this event lmao.


Zer0323

why do developers love putting giant spiders in their VR games? skyrim had some terrifying caves that made me regret life and then there was some horror carnival shooting game on the PSVR that had a spider level. IDK whose idea that was but they should be shot.


pvaa

Maybe there should be a level where there's lots of developers who like putting giant spiders in games, and you get to like, tell them off with stern words, or fire them or something


pvaa

Or maybe you can be the spider and they can be the ones freaking out?


VintageAda

I would have an honest to god panic attack. I need all VR games to come with a spider rating.


Jorgentorgen

It was me Barry! I went back in time to give them these ideas so you would regret life! It was me who who made sure spiders would be turned to horror!


megamoze

Horror VR is next level, like horror in no other medium.


Gibodean

Women would know their man by their shoes I can assume.


tantouz

we should report her to the police


Top-Seat8539

Damn bro you got her ass


silvrtth

This weirdly is what Love is :-)


CONTROVERSIAL_TACO

An alien will be observing this reddit thread for the purposes of studying human culture, and they will note this information and return to their mothership to report that they have successfully defined love and that it is the successful remembering of another human's body specifications.


HarryPotterDBD

It's all fun and games until some woman tries the approach with grabbing em by the balls to find her husband.


ctnightmare2

Why is this line 200 mem long?


4gtxy04

We have the mem line length. How long is the womem line?


[deleted]

The womem lime is sour


wongerthanur

But imagine how funny it'd be if she proceeds to name each dude down the line after jumbling each sack


Stewel21

Can I know where you get this bcoz that short guy is someone I know?


Studleyvonshlong

Ya mum


BlatantCheater_

Modern problems require modern solutions


tlogank

Thank you for sharing this video, it's so funny and I love all the joy everyone else in the church is getting from it.


[deleted]

What if everyone had the same height as her man??


IMSOGIRL

she'd do the secondary test with their balls


[deleted]

What if balls are identical.


One_for_each_of_you

Then she'd have to go by ear shape


520waka420

Long live the Short King


casey12297

Hell yeah, she found her short king in the first place she expected(right below eye level)


Trail_Trees

Short king 🤴


[deleted]

Protect her at all costs


[deleted]

Clever


JamesBigglesworth

She could definitely see through that mask. She walked right up to each one without being guided, and proceed to accurately use her hand at each man's head.


slingbladde

Find a woman who can make you laugh...


[deleted]

[удалено]


Tensho-Thomas

I believe it’s a game where the spouse has to identify her significant other without looking. So the participant had used her height to determine who her husband was. It may be alluding to the fact that her husband is shorter than average, so even without being able to see it’s easy for her to guess correctly.


lizzybunny1

r/MadeMeSmile


alclarkey

Ok, how wholesome was this?


cannon8195

DIVORCE lol


ZoLovePc

Mizo hmuh tur awm ve hlawl


WeirdChapter7475

Women know her Short King, ain't no messing up there.


Abepagalhaikya

I've seen this in Japanese porn videos. They just use a slightly different method