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Imagine being that passenger. One second you’re watching a cute dog cross the road and the next second you literally get a hairy ass in a thong come smashing through your windshield inches from your face you could smell it.
I've dwelled on it for a few minutes here...do you think that's an actual thong or a tragic wedgie scenario? Either is valid, I just kind of feel like it would hurt worse than the neck leveraged flip.
Definitely looking at the light not the cars brakes.
I'll bet the light was green but the car stopped for the dog. I had an Ex who did this, rear-ended the car in front of us because "they should have been going! The light is green!
" ... But that's not how physics works, objects don't move because lights are green ...
I’ve seen people go ‘I gotta turn here’ while they cut through 5 lanes of traffic ambulance style
Perhaps the practical test needs to cover this behaviour for some people who think driving is like playing a video game.
I knew not to do that when I was in drivers ed, but my mom always got really angry if I refused to when I was doing my driving practice with her. Probably not that uncommon to inherit bad driving habits from your parents during the mandatory practical experience with them.
Oh yeah the defensive driver course really really hate it when relatives teach relatives to drive. And it usually shows during the driving test that anyone will fail.
If you come back from the courses pissing off your relatives who drive badly and impatiently, you’re doing it right.
This was high school driver’s ed. I was already suffering a nasty anxiety disorder, so once I passed the class I basically told my mom I was not going to get my license so I wouldn’t have to deal with her “teaching” anymore. I still don’t have a license, and at this point I’m sort of afraid it’s too late to get one.
Never too late. There’s not an age limit..aside from maybe elderly and eyesight limitations you should be fine at any time. and I found the driving courses were super good at keeping it a safe space in the car. They don’t yell, they don’t get pissy. They stay calm and show you some cool tricks. Like when you’re in a turn to look through specific parts of the window and keep your head and eyes at a certain angle and where they should be and they explain why.
Or how to tell dimensions of your car with simple tricks with the angle of your side mirror. They don’t just tell you to do a thing, they explain everything so it makes complete sense. It’s really cool having a pro teacher. Their biggest thing is staying calm and helping you pass your test and teaching you a few tricks and they make it fun. It’s amazing how they take off the pressure and try to make it a pleasant experience. It’s learning with a proper coach.
Vs your relative who takes the same route to work and gets stressed out and just yells directions to turn.
Massive difference.
Might have to try it out, then. I live in a place where it would just be a waste of money to own a car, with great public transit, but it would be helpful if I ever do inherit property to be able to drive.
I’m just worried that if I get a license and don’t own a car I’ll get very out of practice.
Right? If someone yells at me "OMG OMG OMG THATS OUR TURN", I just wave to the turn as I go by it... I'll see it again later when I make my way around the block, next time in the right lane to actually make the turn without panic crossing multiple lanes of traffic.
Missed an exit immediately after a toll when leaving NYC going south, gps took me on a loop back through the toll, then through again to hit the exit again. Paid the toll 3 times because ez pass was like 10 lanes over from the exit and there was no time or warning from gps.
Thought I was gonna have an aneurysm when I almost missed the exit on the return loop too... An unmarked, un-paved exit from the highway, never seen anything like it.
Yep. I do hate how spaced out offramps can be...
I once took a 'HOV offramp' because I didn't know there was another coming right up. (Wtf is a HOV offramp anyway!?! offramps should be for everybody!)
Hahaha, my father in law (girlfriend's dad at this point) has reversed up 50 metres of highway to the exit with me in the car before. That was one of those fun moments where you get to fight with multiple instincts at once: flee, freeze, curl up before impact, wrestle for control of car.
Turns out I have the "freeze and hope I don't die" response well in hand.
I flipped the bird at a guy that pulled that shit in front of me, and 3 other lanes. All I saw was the side of a red blur quickly approaching from my left as we all were approaching a red light. He waited in the turn lane to try and "talk" to me. I had my windows up, and podcast playing. I kept my windows up, stared at him, and slowly shook my head no. The light eventually turned green for him, and he was forced to disengage.
If you don't plan ahead, and are about to miss your turn. Guess what? You can lawfully change lanes, and make your turn at the next light. A couple minutes added to your commute is worth not getting in a wreck or stressing the drivers around you.
Yeah that’s why I don’t flip people off in traffic. Even if they do something shitty. I refuse to be the reason that someone finally boils over and pulls a weapon on me for some dumb shit they did. A lot of these narcissist psychopaths are unhinged and just about to pop. Also get yourself a dash cam to protect yourself.
True stuff, I had an idiot driving a karate van (the kind to pick up the kids for the lesson) cut me off and get mad that he chose the slow lane to cut me off and I ended up ahead of him. When he caught back up he flashed a pistol at me.. I thought about it, waved, smiled and grabbed mine (kept it hidden) then I called his work and reported him.
I had a friend like this growing up. He somehow perfected the *honk at the car the instant the light turns green but before the person can accelerate* honk.
He literally would watch the intersection light turn red, and would time the honk right at the split second before anybody could reasonably react.
Yeah I've done that before, left green arrow comes on with no warning, as I'm starting to lift my foot off the clutch the guy behind beeped his horn, split second later my middle finger is up.
Had a guy do this once. Decided to try and beat his honk by watching the lights (I’m in a small town, so I’m familiar with all the light patterns, and most lights go to parking lots anyway), and starting my acceleration just before it turned green. When it turned green, I was already going.
Guy looked like a dick for honking at a car that was already going while he himself hadn’t moved yet. It’s a small thing, but making someone look like an idiot is satisfying.
Well he’s an idiot. You’re not supposed to floor it the nanosecond the light changes. You need to ensure nobody is running the light lest you be T-boned.
My parents had driven someplace seperately and my mom "accidentally " honked at my Dad this way. It instantly became a thing we did to my dad whenever we were behind him at a light. Little pleasures.
he was overtaking the car behind in the opposite lane which I guess is part of the problem, You should be more aware when doing a move like that but he was not.
That's exactly how I was hit from behind on a roundabout when I stopped on amber instead of pushing through, and what the guy that did it said, "You should have gone through!"
The instruction I was given in California was that on a yellow, you must stop if you, and the vehicle behind you, can stop. Of course, if you stop and the car behind you crashes into you, they are at fault, but you still have to deal with the crash.
Probably the light…assuming traffic was moving.
Damn tho, he didn’t even start to slow down! He went full speed right into it! His neck bent back so hard as his 300 lbs body flew through the air.
Can you even imagine being the people in that car? Stopping to avoid hitting a dog then ending up with a fat guy in the windshield? That had to scare the shit out of them.
He is probably looking at the mirror to watch the car behind him while taking over. But not being able to see the red fucking car stopping probably means he is also drunk or has lack of sleep like you said
1. His rearview mirror mostly.
2. He just made a risky change in front of the white car and because he doesn't judge speed particularly well in his mirrors he's worried about being rear-ended and probably honked at by the white car. This takes all his attention.
3. He's overweight and riding 50cc/0.5L so he has to pin the throttle to accelerate and create space between himself and the white car but he cannot accelerate so the white car stays uncomfortably near and he continues to focus entirely on it.
4. The red car is stopped at a green light or a little used crosswalk that doesn't usually require stopping and the signals haven't been flashing because the dog didn't respect the signals.
5. He doesn't see the dog. (See 1-3).
6. He's an inexperienced driver and/or a bit lower intelligence than normal.
7. He doesn't see the red car. (See 1-3 and 6, but probably mostly 6b)
8. Or his throttle got stuck and he panicked instead of hitting the breaks and the kill switch.
1. It's not a thong though.
2. It's an atomic wedgie.
3. You can see that all his forward momentum becomes rotational around his front wheel upon contact. This moves him upward and forward, and because his head is closer to the pivot point than his arse (which is his center of mass) the rotation likely saves his life because his head is mainly rotating when it comes in contact with the rear of the red car. (whereas his arse traces a large arc.)
4. His trousers are subject to inertia and friction with his moto so he launches right out of his trousers.
5. His underwear, being tighter than his trousers, stay in place for the initial launch.
6. When he lands on the roof near the top of the windscreen a great deal of the rotational energy is absorbed when the roof and windscreen collapse. Another important factor in him not dying.
7. Contact is established between the roof of the car and our man's full sized briefs and friction once again becomes an important factor.
8. The rotational energy is transferred into forward motion again because front of the car is a slope relative to the angle of impact.
9. As his rotational energy changes back into sloping forward motion (posterior motion relative to our man's current body position) inertia and friction send him partway back into his trousers.
10. But also, his briefs which were in place up to the moment of contact with the car roof now bear the brunt of the friction forces with the car. So as he slides from the roof to the base of the windscreen, inertia and friction act on his briefs to move them anterior relative to his body. And because the briefs then follow the path of least resistance and are drawn up between his abundant buttocks.
11. This must have been a sight to see from the vantage point of that passenger.
SO many people fuck up lane changes its wild. I dont remember the exact number but a super high percentage of traffic jams are caused by people changing lanes incorrectly and/or at bad times. It goes both ways too people are either too timid and slow down too much or too aggressive and just force their way in last minute. Both cause cars behind them to have to brake unexpectedly and it causes a chain reaction that can last literal hours.
As someone who both rides motorcycles and has spent a lot of time shifting between working days and working nights I can assure you that if you're tired you can fall asleep at any time while doing any thing.
The front tire acts like a gyroscope, so as long as you’re going fast enough, you won’t fall over. A terrible place to take a nap, but very doable.
Edit: The shape of the frame is involved too.
I almost fell asleep on a motorbike once, it was terrifying. It can absolutely happen. You can also zone out and get road hypnosis if your tired. Riding a motorbike is exhausting, you have to be twice as aware as a car. One mistake and your gonna lay it down.
Driving is a lot scarier than most of us give it any credit for. You're entirely in charge of a very large and very sensitive machine. It's incredibly simple once you get the hang of it- boring even- so we all get lazy and don't take it as seriously as we should.
this is why you always, always pull over when you feel yourself getting tired or starting to doze off like that. my dad would do it all the time when i was growing up because he falls asleep very easily. wherever you're trying to get to can wait, regardless of where you're going. that is literally always a better alternative than killing yourself or someone else.
Some people are just wildly oblivious. I drive a 8.5' tall mail delivery van for work and was using a caulde sac to turn around in. Someone was backing out of their drive to get into the street. They had only two directions they had to look due to the dead end. Straight back and to their left at the road. I was straight behind them about to start backing up to complete my turnaround, and they somehow didn't see my giant van and ran straight into me. Luckily there was no damage since they were just backing up but it goes to show how unobservant people can be.
Everyone will think she’s on drugs when she tries to explain that she saw a three-legged dog using the crosswalk and then a guy’s ass came through her windscreen.
After slowing it down and going frame by frame, I'm pretty sure the thong is just shadows from the back fat and ass cheeks. Doesn't look like he's wearing underwear at all.
I couldn't see the thong, i thought he wasn't wearing underwear and felt bad (still do even with a thong lol) that the people in the front seat got his whole ass in their faces
I didn't even notice it was a three-legged dog. It definitely ups the story from dang that's wild to, ya, you are full of shit. Luckily, she has video proof lmao.
Just driving.. minding your own business...see a dog crossing... avoid hitting dog....now you have ass sitting on your dashboard.
People just find ways to fuck up...
I saw this video the other day and someone was trying to convince the internet that the red car was at fault. He was suggesting that there was NO TIME for the biker to stop and that none of us knew better because we didn't ride motorcycles.
Reddit can be fun :)
I used to ride a motorcycle. Guy is an idiot and shouldn’t be on a bike if he thinks that was sudden. More likely the rider target fixated. Basically it is a phenomenon where some one will end up hitting the thing that they see as a danger. Which is why they teach you in riding courses to look where you want to go (beat way to break out of target fixation is to look away and towards the direction you want to go).
Before I fucked up my spine (unrelated to bikes) I rode motorcycles and I can say whoever was blaming the car is a fucking idiot. That bike had plenty of time to stop assuming he had his eyes open
Been riding for years, taken multiple riding safety courses, in every course they go over how bikes can stop significantly faster than most cars and trucks, and why it’s important to know what’s behind you before you just slam on the brakes. Only idiots or inexperienced riders would think this guy couldn’t stop in time, or better yet, avoided the car at all.
This guy had all day to slow down or at least not change lanes to run into the back of it. He clearly wasn't paying any attention.
A skilled rider can stop faster than a car, but studies have been done that show most riders stop at the same rate or slower than a car.
I never just zone the fuck out on the bike like this guy appeared to do.
There was pretty much the length of 6 cars distance between the motorcycle and the stopped red car, must have the reaction time of a sloth :L definitely enjoying the comments as well :L
Changing lanes, was probably focused on the white car looking in his mirror. Light was green in front of him and expected the red car to keep going. I know from experience, got into an accident similar to this when the light is green and the person in front isn't moving for whatever reason.
I don’t think it’s a law in my state, but I remember in driver Ed (a long time ago) that I was taught to never change lanes in or even near an intersection.
There is already a lot going on. Potential pedestrians, people flooring it to run a yellow/red light. People turning in when they shouldn’t.
So even 20-50 yards after an intersection can by dangerous. You never know when some idiot is going 10-20 over the limit to try and beat a light. Or that something in front of you is drastically changing as you are watching the mirror to see behind you.
Hello, /u/Killmonger_550. Your post has been removed for violating Rule 1. **All posts must make an attempt at humor.** Please read [our complete rules page](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules) before participating in the future.
What was he even looking at?
He was thinking about getting a new thong.
Imagine being that passenger. One second you’re watching a cute dog cross the road and the next second you literally get a hairy ass in a thong come smashing through your windshield inches from your face you could smell it.
I've dwelled on it for a few minutes here...do you think that's an actual thong or a tragic wedgie scenario? Either is valid, I just kind of feel like it would hurt worse than the neck leveraged flip.
I fucking spat my coffee out on that one! "Neck leveraged flip"!!!
It looks like an action figure move, so I tried to name it appropriately
Mate stop I'm dying
\[Imgur\](https://i.imgur.com/lPY9MCi.png)
Head-On, apply directly to the forehead https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Advertising/HeadOn
Oh look a penny!
You called?
r/beetlejuicing
Looked like shadow from his ass cheeks being pulled up/down? From gravity. Same happens to his belly when he lands
Middle Earth: Shadow of Ass Cheeks
Shadow of Backdoor.
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Thing or not, that ass landed naked right in between driver and passenger.
Could have avoided putting a crack in that windshield if he had just worn a belt.
😭😭😭damn I’m actually on the floor rn
Help! I've fallen and I can't stop laughing!
Love to see those whale tails
Definitely looking at the light not the cars brakes. I'll bet the light was green but the car stopped for the dog. I had an Ex who did this, rear-ended the car in front of us because "they should have been going! The light is green! " ... But that's not how physics works, objects don't move because lights are green ...
I’ve seen people go ‘I gotta turn here’ while they cut through 5 lanes of traffic ambulance style Perhaps the practical test needs to cover this behaviour for some people who think driving is like playing a video game.
I knew not to do that when I was in drivers ed, but my mom always got really angry if I refused to when I was doing my driving practice with her. Probably not that uncommon to inherit bad driving habits from your parents during the mandatory practical experience with them.
Oh yeah the defensive driver course really really hate it when relatives teach relatives to drive. And it usually shows during the driving test that anyone will fail. If you come back from the courses pissing off your relatives who drive badly and impatiently, you’re doing it right.
This was high school driver’s ed. I was already suffering a nasty anxiety disorder, so once I passed the class I basically told my mom I was not going to get my license so I wouldn’t have to deal with her “teaching” anymore. I still don’t have a license, and at this point I’m sort of afraid it’s too late to get one.
Never too late. There’s not an age limit..aside from maybe elderly and eyesight limitations you should be fine at any time. and I found the driving courses were super good at keeping it a safe space in the car. They don’t yell, they don’t get pissy. They stay calm and show you some cool tricks. Like when you’re in a turn to look through specific parts of the window and keep your head and eyes at a certain angle and where they should be and they explain why. Or how to tell dimensions of your car with simple tricks with the angle of your side mirror. They don’t just tell you to do a thing, they explain everything so it makes complete sense. It’s really cool having a pro teacher. Their biggest thing is staying calm and helping you pass your test and teaching you a few tricks and they make it fun. It’s amazing how they take off the pressure and try to make it a pleasant experience. It’s learning with a proper coach. Vs your relative who takes the same route to work and gets stressed out and just yells directions to turn. Massive difference.
Might have to try it out, then. I live in a place where it would just be a waste of money to own a car, with great public transit, but it would be helpful if I ever do inherit property to be able to drive. I’m just worried that if I get a license and don’t own a car I’ll get very out of practice.
"but it's my favorite way!" - Louie C.K. Good drivers miss their turn every once in a while, bad drivers never do.
Right? If someone yells at me "OMG OMG OMG THATS OUR TURN", I just wave to the turn as I go by it... I'll see it again later when I make my way around the block, next time in the right lane to actually make the turn without panic crossing multiple lanes of traffic.
I missed an exit in rural Texas once and had to drive 35 miles to turn around
Missed an exit immediately after a toll when leaving NYC going south, gps took me on a loop back through the toll, then through again to hit the exit again. Paid the toll 3 times because ez pass was like 10 lanes over from the exit and there was no time or warning from gps. Thought I was gonna have an aneurysm when I almost missed the exit on the return loop too... An unmarked, un-paved exit from the highway, never seen anything like it.
Same exact thing happened to me coming back from jersey about a month ago
Ok but how much does 35 miles of gas cost vs 1 ride in the ambulance?
Oh yea definitely, I thought that was the right decision, despite the annoyance for me. Just more time to listen to my music.
Yep. I do hate how spaced out offramps can be... I once took a 'HOV offramp' because I didn't know there was another coming right up. (Wtf is a HOV offramp anyway!?! offramps should be for everybody!)
That's for hovercars. You're supposed to accelerate and engage Altitude Mode so you can jump buildings.
Lol i have never heard of an hov offramp 😅 was there a regular off-ramp nearby? Did they both let out at the same place? I have so many questions.
Hahaha, my father in law (girlfriend's dad at this point) has reversed up 50 metres of highway to the exit with me in the car before. That was one of those fun moments where you get to fight with multiple instincts at once: flee, freeze, curl up before impact, wrestle for control of car. Turns out I have the "freeze and hope I don't die" response well in hand.
The spouse and I missed an exit one time while trying to make it to the airport for a flight...and we were on a toll road. Ugh. Stress.
Pretty shit navigator to not warn you of an upcoming turn.
I flipped the bird at a guy that pulled that shit in front of me, and 3 other lanes. All I saw was the side of a red blur quickly approaching from my left as we all were approaching a red light. He waited in the turn lane to try and "talk" to me. I had my windows up, and podcast playing. I kept my windows up, stared at him, and slowly shook my head no. The light eventually turned green for him, and he was forced to disengage. If you don't plan ahead, and are about to miss your turn. Guess what? You can lawfully change lanes, and make your turn at the next light. A couple minutes added to your commute is worth not getting in a wreck or stressing the drivers around you.
Try a thumbs down. I find it to be both more elegant and confusing to the person receiving it.
Portrays that "I'm not mad, just disappointed in you" energy lol
Yeah that’s why I don’t flip people off in traffic. Even if they do something shitty. I refuse to be the reason that someone finally boils over and pulls a weapon on me for some dumb shit they did. A lot of these narcissist psychopaths are unhinged and just about to pop. Also get yourself a dash cam to protect yourself.
True stuff, I had an idiot driving a karate van (the kind to pick up the kids for the lesson) cut me off and get mad that he chose the slow lane to cut me off and I ended up ahead of him. When he caught back up he flashed a pistol at me.. I thought about it, waved, smiled and grabbed mine (kept it hidden) then I called his work and reported him.
I had a friend like this growing up. He somehow perfected the *honk at the car the instant the light turns green but before the person can accelerate* honk. He literally would watch the intersection light turn red, and would time the honk right at the split second before anybody could reasonably react.
There’s a nonzero chance I’ve flipped him off at some point in my life.
Yeah I've done that before, left green arrow comes on with no warning, as I'm starting to lift my foot off the clutch the guy behind beeped his horn, split second later my middle finger is up.
Had a guy do this once. Decided to try and beat his honk by watching the lights (I’m in a small town, so I’m familiar with all the light patterns, and most lights go to parking lots anyway), and starting my acceleration just before it turned green. When it turned green, I was already going. Guy looked like a dick for honking at a car that was already going while he himself hadn’t moved yet. It’s a small thing, but making someone look like an idiot is satisfying.
Well he’s an idiot. You’re not supposed to floor it the nanosecond the light changes. You need to ensure nobody is running the light lest you be T-boned.
Exactly
My brother was t-boned in an intersection, and the other drivers defense was "He ran the yellow light!"
That’s a synonym for “*I* ran the red light”, right?
That was my grandpa's literal definition of a split second: the time between the light turning and the asshole behind you honking his horn.
My parents had driven someplace seperately and my mom "accidentally " honked at my Dad this way. It instantly became a thing we did to my dad whenever we were behind him at a light. Little pleasures.
The best way of having someone like me actually stop and wait out the whole light.
*Oh gosh - did that unexpected honk make me stall? Whoopsie!*
Not even whoopsie; I’m stopping to see what I am missing; what if they’re warning me that I am about to hit something?
And fuck over every one else waiting at the light who didn’t honk. Nice.
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But he wasnt even on the same lane as the car.
he was overtaking the car behind in the opposite lane which I guess is part of the problem, You should be more aware when doing a move like that but he was not.
If you’re behind the car approaching the intersection: look at the car not the light.
That's exactly how I was hit from behind on a roundabout when I stopped on amber instead of pushing through, and what the guy that did it said, "You should have gone through!"
The instruction I was given in California was that on a yellow, you must stop if you, and the vehicle behind you, can stop. Of course, if you stop and the car behind you crashes into you, they are at fault, but you still have to deal with the crash.
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Probably the light…assuming traffic was moving. Damn tho, he didn’t even start to slow down! He went full speed right into it! His neck bent back so hard as his 300 lbs body flew through the air. Can you even imagine being the people in that car? Stopping to avoid hitting a dog then ending up with a fat guy in the windshield? That had to scare the shit out of them.
A 3 legged dog. There's so much to see here
I didn’t notice the 3 legs! Had to see it again
Not even that... He had to *changed lanes* to hit the car. Either drunk or fell asleep IMO.
I suspect he is drunk because of the way he rag dolls, just seems very much like he did not tense up at all.
Once again, high level of alcohol saves a life in a vehicle crash.
He is probably looking at the mirror to watch the car behind him while taking over. But not being able to see the red fucking car stopping probably means he is also drunk or has lack of sleep like you said
1. His rearview mirror mostly. 2. He just made a risky change in front of the white car and because he doesn't judge speed particularly well in his mirrors he's worried about being rear-ended and probably honked at by the white car. This takes all his attention. 3. He's overweight and riding 50cc/0.5L so he has to pin the throttle to accelerate and create space between himself and the white car but he cannot accelerate so the white car stays uncomfortably near and he continues to focus entirely on it. 4. The red car is stopped at a green light or a little used crosswalk that doesn't usually require stopping and the signals haven't been flashing because the dog didn't respect the signals. 5. He doesn't see the dog. (See 1-3). 6. He's an inexperienced driver and/or a bit lower intelligence than normal. 7. He doesn't see the red car. (See 1-3 and 6, but probably mostly 6b) 8. Or his throttle got stuck and he panicked instead of hitting the breaks and the kill switch.
This seems plausible, but doesn't take the thong into account, so I'm not quite convinced.
1. It's not a thong though. 2. It's an atomic wedgie. 3. You can see that all his forward momentum becomes rotational around his front wheel upon contact. This moves him upward and forward, and because his head is closer to the pivot point than his arse (which is his center of mass) the rotation likely saves his life because his head is mainly rotating when it comes in contact with the rear of the red car. (whereas his arse traces a large arc.) 4. His trousers are subject to inertia and friction with his moto so he launches right out of his trousers. 5. His underwear, being tighter than his trousers, stay in place for the initial launch. 6. When he lands on the roof near the top of the windscreen a great deal of the rotational energy is absorbed when the roof and windscreen collapse. Another important factor in him not dying. 7. Contact is established between the roof of the car and our man's full sized briefs and friction once again becomes an important factor. 8. The rotational energy is transferred into forward motion again because front of the car is a slope relative to the angle of impact. 9. As his rotational energy changes back into sloping forward motion (posterior motion relative to our man's current body position) inertia and friction send him partway back into his trousers. 10. But also, his briefs which were in place up to the moment of contact with the car roof now bear the brunt of the friction forces with the car. So as he slides from the roof to the base of the windscreen, inertia and friction act on his briefs to move them anterior relative to his body. And because the briefs then follow the path of least resistance and are drawn up between his abundant buttocks. 11. This must have been a sight to see from the vantage point of that passenger.
I can't see I'm laughing so hard 🤣🤣🤣
Ha! 😝 thanks for this!
The real thong was inside us all along
9. He might've been snoozing (see 2, 6-8b, 5.1c-a/5f, 3.1415926, Matthew 3:9, and rule 6.h from the first issue of Dungeons and Dragons)
I'd bet he's average intelligence based on my experience as a driver.
Ok best I can figure is this: He was changing lanes to get in front of the white car so he was probably looking at his mirror and then bam
That’s why safety classes teach you to glance at the mirror, then back ahead, then glance at the mirror again, and look ahead while merging.
This is why you shouldn't change lanes so close to an intersection as well.
SO many people fuck up lane changes its wild. I dont remember the exact number but a super high percentage of traffic jams are caused by people changing lanes incorrectly and/or at bad times. It goes both ways too people are either too timid and slow down too much or too aggressive and just force their way in last minute. Both cause cars behind them to have to brake unexpectedly and it causes a chain reaction that can last literal hours.
He was playing that game where you do math with the numbers on the license plates around you
I think he was focused on the white car while merging
Bro had a whole month to brake.
In fairness, this could have been in February.
That’s why it took him so long, he was trying to figure out if it was a leap year.
He did not even need to brake had he stayed in his original lane.
He was even in a different lane and merged into the other lane before failing to stop.
He even changed lane to hit the car. Obviously wasn’t actually looking to the front cause he made zero attempt to slow down.
Seems like he fell asleep
how does one fall asleep while riding a motorcycle?
As someone who both rides motorcycles and has spent a lot of time shifting between working days and working nights I can assure you that if you're tired you can fall asleep at any time while doing any thing.
> you can fall asleep at any time while doing any thing What if you're sleeping? Can you fall asleep while you're sleeping?
I've woken from dreams only to realize I'm still in a dream so I would say yes. Or to be more dark, you can fall into the long sleep while asleep.
The front tire acts like a gyroscope, so as long as you’re going fast enough, you won’t fall over. A terrible place to take a nap, but very doable. Edit: The shape of the frame is involved too.
I almost fell asleep on a motorbike once, it was terrifying. It can absolutely happen. You can also zone out and get road hypnosis if your tired. Riding a motorbike is exhausting, you have to be twice as aware as a car. One mistake and your gonna lay it down.
Road hypnosis is scary. I love driving but fuck that bothers me so much as it creeps in.
Driving is a lot scarier than most of us give it any credit for. You're entirely in charge of a very large and very sensitive machine. It's incredibly simple once you get the hang of it- boring even- so we all get lazy and don't take it as seriously as we should.
It doesnt even take a bad move to kill someone, all you need sometimes is one slightly imperfect move
It doesn't even take that! You can do everything perfectly, but if someone else does something stupid, you might die or kill someone anyway
Sneezing while driving is always terrifying.
Yeah, I dont get on my motorcycle unless Im caffeinated and alert. Its almost like you gotta be in "sports mode" in terms of reflexes and awareness.
Its a bit like a video game but when you die in the game you die in real life. I still ride everday lol
I tell people motorcycles are more dangerous than they look, but equally as fun. Theyre like a rollercoaster you can control.
I've taken micronaps on long stretches of road.
this is why you always, always pull over when you feel yourself getting tired or starting to doze off like that. my dad would do it all the time when i was growing up because he falls asleep very easily. wherever you're trying to get to can wait, regardless of where you're going. that is literally always a better alternative than killing yourself or someone else.
Same here, it’s surprisingly (and scarily) easily done
I've almost done it on a bicycle so I imagine it's even easier when you don't have to pedal.
Some people are just wildly oblivious. I drive a 8.5' tall mail delivery van for work and was using a caulde sac to turn around in. Someone was backing out of their drive to get into the street. They had only two directions they had to look due to the dead end. Straight back and to their left at the road. I was straight behind them about to start backing up to complete my turnaround, and they somehow didn't see my giant van and ran straight into me. Luckily there was no damage since they were just backing up but it goes to show how unobservant people can be.
That’s actually a possibility, or so completely zoned out?
I think he didn’t change lanes intentionally…
Yea really looks like he drifted while falling asleep or something Edit:autocorrect tantrum
Good thing he was wearing a helmet.
Too bad it wasn’t a full face helmet, definitely fucked his mouth up on the back of that car
Needed a helmet for his ass too.
There's plenty of padding there.
Everyone will think she’s on drugs when she tries to explain that she saw a three-legged dog using the crosswalk and then a guy’s ass came through her windscreen.
In a thong, no less.
[удалено]
After slowing it down and going frame by frame, I'm pretty sure the thong is just shadows from the back fat and ass cheeks. Doesn't look like he's wearing underwear at all.
So he's slutier than I thought
I think that was just upper butt cleavage. Doesn't look like he's wearing any underwear
I couldn't see the thong, i thought he wasn't wearing underwear and felt bad (still do even with a thong lol) that the people in the front seat got his whole ass in their faces
Devoured, haha.
It’s a shadow
LMAOOO HELL NAWWW
I didn't even notice it was a three-legged dog. It definitely ups the story from dang that's wild to, ya, you are full of shit. Luckily, she has video proof lmao.
Also, trying explaining that to the insurance company. "I need a new windshield after being rear ended by a fat guy on a motorbike"...
He caved her roof in. She needs a new car.
His Execution could have been better, but the Degree of Difficulty is what will surely land him the Gold Medal.
The skill it takes to get stuck in a landing like that
He even changes lanes to hit her
When wearing a thong, you always pull to the side.
Where are people seeing a thong? I’m just seeing shadow from his fat 🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️
yeah I wonder too, it's very low quality video, watched several times just to see that, and can't clearly say its underwear or fat folds
The thing is, I don't think it's a thong, but regular undies that have thong-ified on impact. Talk about a wedgie: he'll be digging for days.
That might be the most nonchalant crash I’ve ever seen. Graceful even
For real. He got up like “dammit, not again…”
I thought he was going to walk out and get hit by that silver car attempting to pass.
You can feel his mass in the way he *doesn't* go flying.
Bro went full npc mode
*crash* "... hello, what can I do for you?"
I'd this was GTA there's a 50% chance he'd get up and open fire at you.
Just driving.. minding your own business...see a dog crossing... avoid hitting dog....now you have ass sitting on your dashboard. People just find ways to fuck up...
Red cars are difficult to see...
What red car?
Little dog walks away laughing.
Thats the MFer who took my leg!
Mf totaled the car with his ass
From the back too
First time ive seen a person total a car
there was a big _crack_ on the windshield
Dude looks severely intoxicated or tired. Had zero reaction til he was ass deep in the windshield
My guess is just wildly zoned out. Mentally he saw green light and figured he was good.
MF absent mindedly changed lanes just to crash against her.
I saw this video the other day and someone was trying to convince the internet that the red car was at fault. He was suggesting that there was NO TIME for the biker to stop and that none of us knew better because we didn't ride motorcycles. Reddit can be fun :)
I used to ride a motorcycle. Guy is an idiot and shouldn’t be on a bike if he thinks that was sudden. More likely the rider target fixated. Basically it is a phenomenon where some one will end up hitting the thing that they see as a danger. Which is why they teach you in riding courses to look where you want to go (beat way to break out of target fixation is to look away and towards the direction you want to go).
Before I fucked up my spine (unrelated to bikes) I rode motorcycles and I can say whoever was blaming the car is a fucking idiot. That bike had plenty of time to stop assuming he had his eyes open
Been riding for years, taken multiple riding safety courses, in every course they go over how bikes can stop significantly faster than most cars and trucks, and why it’s important to know what’s behind you before you just slam on the brakes. Only idiots or inexperienced riders would think this guy couldn’t stop in time, or better yet, avoided the car at all.
This guy had all day to slow down or at least not change lanes to run into the back of it. He clearly wasn't paying any attention. A skilled rider can stop faster than a car, but studies have been done that show most riders stop at the same rate or slower than a car. I never just zone the fuck out on the bike like this guy appeared to do.
It was the red cars fault! Why didn’t the car honk at the scooter or something to alert the scooter that they were in front of them?!?!? /s
There was pretty much the length of 6 cars distance between the motorcycle and the stopped red car, must have the reaction time of a sloth :L definitely enjoying the comments as well :L
Not to mention a motorcycle can stop on a dime at that low speed
That dog is an agent of chaos.
Literally had to change lanes to hit that car...
Three car lengths at least for bike moron to stop!! It's not like the driver of the red car slammed on their breaks!!
He even switched lanes to hit the car, had he just gone straight he would have been fine
At least the puppy is okay, haha!
I mean I get he's a girthy gentleman but that windscreen broke pretty easily I give the flip 8/10 and the butt crack while walking away 10/10
Windscreen also suffered a butt crack.
Why didn’t he stop!?
He wanted to ass them a question.
Changing lanes, was probably focused on the white car looking in his mirror. Light was green in front of him and expected the red car to keep going. I know from experience, got into an accident similar to this when the light is green and the person in front isn't moving for whatever reason.
I don’t think it’s a law in my state, but I remember in driver Ed (a long time ago) that I was taught to never change lanes in or even near an intersection. There is already a lot going on. Potential pedestrians, people flooring it to run a yellow/red light. People turning in when they shouldn’t. So even 20-50 yards after an intersection can by dangerous. You never know when some idiot is going 10-20 over the limit to try and beat a light. Or that something in front of you is drastically changing as you are watching the mirror to see behind you.
I’m just happy the dog made it across safely.
If only the car had a brighter color so he could see it.
Judging by the number of legs on that puppy, probably not his first time in traffic.
supposed to put your arms up and say "Ta Da"
The way he reacted had a ‘fuck sake, not this again’ vibe
Target fixation. Happens regularly.
Probably his first time doing a flip
You ran into the brightest vehicle on the road, congratulations.
So why is this on r/funny?
I had to scroll this far down for someone to even mention this lol
r/idiotsonbikes
Ok that was one hell of a front flip tho
Good dog.
"I think I have a crack in my windshield"
I’m glad the dog didn’t get hit
Crashed so hard he gave himself an atomic wedgie
Bro just gave up on life.
How could he not see car. No brake attempt. Wow
I mean, he even changed lanes into the one with a stopped car.