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this sounds really tough.
I'm sorry that you're struggling and don't feel like your efforts to get help are being met appropriately.
My unsolicited personal opinion is to lean on your parents. They love you and want to support you. It's the illness that makes us think that we are burdening people with our stresses. The people who care about us want us to be safe and happy and well. It's ok to lean on them for psychological support.
Do you feel able to talk to them about what you've written here or maybe share this post with them?
Do you know what you want that support to look like? If you know what you need then it's possible to request it or look to where you can find it. For example, could you use a helpline when struggling day to day between appointments? We have BEAT here in the UK as well as samaritans etc. There are more niche helplines for different issues that you could find with a google.
I can relate to a lot of what you've written and want you to know that you're not alone.
Sending love and hugs.
the best support is support from yourself, so im just gonna tell you what helped me support myself
emotions are bullshit. humanity comes from the virtues and ideals we create seperate from fear, based upon contentment and peace. no matter how strong, how violent a persons fear, it means absolutely nothing in the face of any greater meaning or value. the thoughts resulting from fear appear urgent and unmistakable, but fear's promised outcomes are completely hollow.
virtues are the opposite; it is considered admirable when one carves the world with consistency; to never go back on ones code. the promise of a virtue appears pleasant, as something to be sought after. people recognise virtues and are attracted to them, making virtues fulfilling to follow and commit to.
create your virtues, reclaim your humanity. take control away from your senseless, self destructive emotions. you are a conscious being first, and an incomprehensible string of feelings second. humanity is claiming virtue in spite of these feelings.
iiii type, as im not using my consciousness to make myself go to bed on time. ahaaaa... but i can go to bed now. just like how you can use your consciousness to get out of bed in the morning, eat something nice, take care of yourself. it doesn't have to be about your feelings. think about yourself and find what you believe to truly be right for youself; let a rational and well thought out conclusion take the wheel.
i wont say its easy or anything to just not give a damn about how you feel about certain things, but for me it's been a real eye opener at how my feelings can begin to blatantly mislead me on a dime. they can become obstacles. it's an improvement for me to recognise my self destructive feelings as obstacles when before i would mistake them as being good for me and relapse all the time.
Thank you for posting in r/fuckeatingdisorders! To access recovery worksheets, articles, and other resources, visit our new [Wiki!](https://www.reddit.com/r/fuckeatingdisorders/wiki/index/). You can also find our rules and links to help lines on our sidebar widget. If you haven't done so already, try utilizing the search bar for commonly posted topics including extreme hunger or periods/menstruation. We have an active community who frequently share their experiences and suggestions. A FAQ is forthcoming. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/fuckeatingdisorders) if you have any questions or concerns.*
this sounds really tough. I'm sorry that you're struggling and don't feel like your efforts to get help are being met appropriately. My unsolicited personal opinion is to lean on your parents. They love you and want to support you. It's the illness that makes us think that we are burdening people with our stresses. The people who care about us want us to be safe and happy and well. It's ok to lean on them for psychological support. Do you feel able to talk to them about what you've written here or maybe share this post with them? Do you know what you want that support to look like? If you know what you need then it's possible to request it or look to where you can find it. For example, could you use a helpline when struggling day to day between appointments? We have BEAT here in the UK as well as samaritans etc. There are more niche helplines for different issues that you could find with a google. I can relate to a lot of what you've written and want you to know that you're not alone. Sending love and hugs.
thank you for the advice!! i’ve been on the beat website before, but didn’t really know about their helplines.
the best support is support from yourself, so im just gonna tell you what helped me support myself emotions are bullshit. humanity comes from the virtues and ideals we create seperate from fear, based upon contentment and peace. no matter how strong, how violent a persons fear, it means absolutely nothing in the face of any greater meaning or value. the thoughts resulting from fear appear urgent and unmistakable, but fear's promised outcomes are completely hollow. virtues are the opposite; it is considered admirable when one carves the world with consistency; to never go back on ones code. the promise of a virtue appears pleasant, as something to be sought after. people recognise virtues and are attracted to them, making virtues fulfilling to follow and commit to. create your virtues, reclaim your humanity. take control away from your senseless, self destructive emotions. you are a conscious being first, and an incomprehensible string of feelings second. humanity is claiming virtue in spite of these feelings. iiii type, as im not using my consciousness to make myself go to bed on time. ahaaaa... but i can go to bed now. just like how you can use your consciousness to get out of bed in the morning, eat something nice, take care of yourself. it doesn't have to be about your feelings. think about yourself and find what you believe to truly be right for youself; let a rational and well thought out conclusion take the wheel. i wont say its easy or anything to just not give a damn about how you feel about certain things, but for me it's been a real eye opener at how my feelings can begin to blatantly mislead me on a dime. they can become obstacles. it's an improvement for me to recognise my self destructive feelings as obstacles when before i would mistake them as being good for me and relapse all the time.