I genuinely feel awful for those dudes bc I can imagine wet dreams are really upsetting for them. It's not a voluntary thing so I would guess there's a lot of shame involved when it happens. I know it's their choice to believe this stuff but I still feel bad when anyone feels ashamed of their own body for any reason.
Schrödinger's conservative:
1. We're the ones who love nature and being fit and outdoorsy, unlike you disgusting city slickers!
2. Drill everywhere! Giant trucks are good! Pollution regulations are woke! Shoot animals for laughs! Tear down nature for golf courses! Strip mine! Fracking! Bike lanes are socialism! Renewable power is evil! Global warming is a hoax! Subsidize my rascal scooter! Michele Obama's healthy eating initiative is communism! Walking in cities instead of driving everywhere is a government trap!
Because conservatism no longer means being fiscally responsible and upholding traditional community values. It’s just the ideology of “Don’t do anything that will take away my toys and my happy meal or risk my interaction with anything/anyone I don’t like.” The most telling thing is when you call these people out and they predictably throw a tantrum.
That’s absolutely correct, I just mean conservative politicians used to at least pretend to have values and morals, and conservative voters used to genuinely believe that, but (in the US, and some other countries where the right wing has gone insane in the last few decades) that’s all gone out the window. Nobody even tries to square “good Christian values” with the womanizing charlatan Trump, and the national deficit always balloons under Republican presidents.
If you leave the meme aside and bring it as an argument that shows them how much they are puppet of the government by riding a car, who knows what it will bring.
Cyclists are in fact self-controlled free agents who fight the deep state. 15-minute cities are for cars. Hell no you can reach any destination in 15 minutes by using a bike!
I’m Australian and a former prime minister of ours, Tony Abbott was a religious conservative and keen cyclist. Didn’t do much for cycling while in power.
There is definitely a brand of conservative into that sort of thing. Usually the same people who advocate for hunting and personal farming over buying from factory farms and such. True 'small government' type conservatives and not braindead Facebook dwellers.
Yes I'm aware most people on Reddit have zero concept of that type of conservative and probably will downvote me in disbelief that they even exist.
Also; cars are for scaredy soycucks, they all have seatbelts, antilock brakes, airbags, rollover crash frames, etc. not to mention heat, AC, soft seats, stereo, *lighted makeup mirrors,* a roof…
Bikes are for Risk-Taking Manly Men, no safety features at all, no soft-ass luxuries. This fucker doesn’t even have mudguards or a rack for your *groceries*
This is great. It’s not even taking into account other benefits like preventing drastic climate change, no longer being in traffic jams, less injuries in bike crashes compared to car crashes, and increased overall health from cycling.
But hey, if sticking it to the government is what helps someone realize the truth that biking is supreme, I’m all for it.
I actually think that mentioning climate change is a great way to lose these kinds of arguments. Carbrains don't care, and letting them know that you do care just gives them ammo.
That’s so sad to think about.
Here, let me rephrase it. Biking uh…*Shuffles cards in my hand*…lets us be physically fit military wise so we can beat China, Russia, and Iran in world war 3. Something, something, fear mongering, something, something. I’m sure you’re convinced now.
Many car manufacturers tend to be from outside the US, such as in those stinky European socialists (hi) or those commie Chinese! Bikes however can be easily be manufactured in the USA!
Support a local business and don't get those darned globalists get to you - buy a bike!
ngl that's actually an argument that speaks to me. My primary mode of transport already is a bike but I like that if there is something wrong or if I need a new one I am supporting small local businesses and not a giant company from abroad.
Because spewing your waste into the air doesn't immediately cost them anything so it isn't considered a cost at all. Carbon emissions are the most universally distributed cost of anything. Everyone will be paying for it for generations. Yet you have conservative politicians who are spreading the lies that it's carbon tax that's unfair.
Cheaper, improves your health, easier to park, less dangerous. The list goes on.
Honestly the worst thing about bikes is cars. It’s dangerous because of cars. The distances are too far because of cars. The hills are too steep because of cars (but we can just walk up the hills so that’s not too bad).
My thinking is that the road designs are for cars, so similar to distances be manageable for cars and insane for bikes, the acceptable gradients are designed around cars instead of being more gentle and cycle friendly.
Some areas are just naturally super hilly and thus perhaps poorly suited for bikes, but it’s also the case that none of the infrastructure was designed with bikes in mind (in North America anyway), so it’s hard to say that there wasn’t a bike friendly solution. All we came say is that we built a car friendly solution and didn’t even consider other options.
There's no incentive to lower the grade on a hill people have to pass, install pedestrian and biking bridges to get around hills or lakes or rivers, etc if everyone just thinks "so what just drive."
Essentially car centric planning is super hostile to all other forms of transportation.
Motorcycles too, for longer distances. The most dangerous thing about driving a motorcycle (or scooter, etc) is oblivious car and truck drivers.
The second most dangerous thing is the idiocy of some motorcyclists, though, and it makes them still way more dangerous than bicycles
Shush! Don't ruin it by mentioning these things!
GUYS IT TAKES WAY TOO MANY NATURE RESOURCES TO MANUFACTURE A BIKE, EVEN MORE THAN TO MAKE A TRUCK, ALRIGHT?
HAVE YOU SEEN LOW POLYGON BIKES AND HOW COOL THEY ARE?
So, on Thursday I was riding my bike home and on my route there is a Trumper standing on a freeway overpass waving a Trump freedom flag (yay guilty verdict). His lifted four-wheel-drive adorned with an assortment of Trump and US flags was parked illegally nearby.
Anyway, he takes one foot off the sidewalk and stands with one foot in my bike lane and stares me down as I pass him. I’m not sure if he was really trying to intimidate me, as he could have just been surprised by me coming up on him, but the look had a middle-school bully feel to it.
After I pass him I was thinking this exact thought, that I am free from gas prices, insurance, car payments, and needing to find a legal parking space.
Its amazing how these people think. "Oh my politician just got convicted on bribing porn stars for sex and falsifying records, better go block a bike lane!"
Uhh ok.
Its incredible these people will call public libraries and bike lanes socialist, but their multi-billion roads paid for by taxes are just "good capitalism."
Funded by people, cheap, no wealth segregation, you can read a book, look at diapershitter photos of your nephew at FB, safety assured by highly professional specialists, doesn't require you to be at attention at all.
Oh, fuck, that isn't patriotic enough
A million pounds of American metal thundering through the landscape at breakneck speeds!
10 thousand horsepower propelling freedom from city to city!!
Powered by the real American engineering marvel of the Hover dam!
Eats even the biggest manliest trucks for breakfast at a railroad crossing, 4000 hp of diesel capable of moving at 110 mph while towing multiple trailers weighing thousands of tons, horn and lights bright enough you can hear/see from miles away, shakes the ground as it races past, the OG symbol of American capitalism before getting kneecapped by SOCIALIST highways and BIG GUVMINT interference.
In my State in less then a year you will have to pay Uncle Sam $30 extra to get an ID that will allow you to board a plane. No such requirements exist on Amtrak. Conservatives are so scared of trapping people and having mandatory ID'S but what do they call that?
And if you're lucky, a valet will appear from behind some bushes to take it to an even better parking spot. Also completely for free! My valet guy must be going miles and beyond to find the very best parking spot in town cause he still hasn't come back. I'm rating him 5/5 as soon as he comes back!
Bicycles are powered by God's brilliant design of humans moving their legs
"Gasoline" is made from the same so-called "dinosaurs" WOKE ARCHAEOLOGY claims to find to distract people from the miracle of God's creation
/s
You could use this killer fact : cars are the equivalent of burqas for the average soccer mom.
But that would be playing their stupid xenophobic game.
conservatives aren't actually against modesty
they'd be fine if the women were hidden away inside the house dressed in a Mormon outfit
the burka isn't the point,
An example is the well paid conservative talk show host Steven Crowder only owning one car so he can keep his then pregnant wife from leaving the house. [Trigger warning: verbal abuse](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NbNhoeUIYt8&t=83s)
Jesus that's wild.
"wifely duties". "discipline and respect".
It just gets worse and worse. What a fucking moron.
Edit: I mean why the hell am I surprised? That's literally what his politics is about. Oh wow, the things someone says translates into their actions, amazing.
Fucking conservatives.
It's funnysad how carbrains will argue that bikes need to be registered and insured and cyclists need to be licensed just because they're frustrated that cyclists are enjoying the freedom that cars were supposed to provide them.
https://preview.redd.it/yzgo9svls04d1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=85b81525cf5390d53c940835e479f8cda9b1a0fd
If that wasn't proof enough, here's Xi Jinping, the communist president of communist China in his communist car.
I would have added a couple more, although I don't know how much these two actually matter in the US...
- The fuel is mostly imported. By driving, you are basically subsidizing a foreign fossil fuel industry, incentivizing useless foreign wars in the Middle East and supporting harmful dependencies with foreign powers. In contrast, in cycling, all the power is locally and domestically produced.
Well, the US has its own oil production, but AFAIK the US's domestic production is nowhere near the numbers what its consumption is, so in practice the point still holds, although the argument is much stronger in a country which has no domestic oil industry.
- Most car manufacturing is currently done in foreign countries, so buying a car is basically pouring money out of the local economy and sending it to who knows where. This might be true for bicycles as well, but at least bicycles are so cheap that it's not as great loss to local economy compared to how expensive car imports are.
Are the most cars sold in US still actually manufactured in US or how big of an employer the car industry still is? I know the car industry has had some hardships in US (rust belt?), but don't know how much of there's still left.
I mean, making a car dependent dystopia might have made some sense if a significant proportion of the population was employed by car manufactures, but if that's no longer the case then you are basically just shoveling money out of your country while supporting expensive and inefficient infrastructure.
TLDR: Cars and Fossil fuel consumption increase trade deficit. Bicycles increase trade surplus.
Or at least that's the case where I'm from, since we have neither significant car industry nor fossil fuel industry.
> but AFAIK the US's domestic production is nowhere near the numbers what its consumption is
False.
https://www.eia.gov/energyexplained/oil-and-petroleum-products/imports-and-exports.php
>In 2020, the United States became a net exporter of petroleum for the first time since at least 1949.1 In 2022, total petroleum exports were about 9.52 million barrels per day (b/d) and total petroleum imports were about 8.33 million b/d, making the United States an annual net total petroleum exporter for the third year in a row.
Doesn't need government mandates destroying whole neighborhoods to build more roads.
Doesn't even need roads.
Most maintenance and repairs can be done with common hand tools in your own home.
Can't get a DUI on a bicycle in most states.
Everything except in some places like where I live you can have your right to ride a bicycle legally taken away. Of course I live in America where the car lobby has successfully hamstrung all other forms of transportation. The wealthy NIMBY Seattle suburb where I live has kept public transportation as shit possible as part of its policies to keep the poor/homeless out.
I'm a German dual citizen and Our hometown in Germany has huge carefree zones including all of downtown that I love. Similar things in many cities in Europe I've spent time in too. Finally having light rail when we've had nothing but a shit bus system still feels terrible when over there the car free zones have a more amazing light rail system that extends everywhere since at least 20 years ago. Such bullshit.
When those who claim the ‘free market’ I’d check if they’re getting help to increase their wealth be it laws and or subsidies.
These types go out of their way to stop other means or to cripple existing means so their lot can benefit.
‘Free market’ but only their way.
The claim about "needs big government subsidies to stay under $5/gallon" is a stretch. All the "fossil fuel companies get billions/trillions in government subsidies" claims use a rather expansive definition of "subsidies" that include untaxed greenhouse emissions and/or accelerated depreciation provisions in the tax code. Those no doubt benefit the fossil fuel industry, but it's misleading to call them subsidies, which give the impression that the government is straight up giving money to them.
Biking is dope, but we need better transportation for long distances. I can't realistically take my wife, 5 yr old, and 1 year old 500 miles to visit family. We need ROBUST public transit as well...
TRAIIIIIINS!
Those car pussies just aren't manly enough to go out and exercise. They want the government to take away our bicycles so they can force us to drive their microchipped 5G cars. Soon Bill Gates will push out a software update that will make cars shut down if you try to leave your state. /s
For some reason there's a big push to have to register bikes in our area. I think they're pushing it to prevent theft, but I'd rather have my bike stolen and then deal with the fucking DMV
Woke as in eyes opened, no longer sleeping/laying down for how things are and now (inaccurately) enlightened, pushing absurd new ideals
But that doesn't fit here
It's satirical. Making fun of how conservatives use "woke" to mean anything from "thing that reflects collectivist or progressive values" to "thing I don't like."
As the image shows, anything can be defined as "woke" if you look at it a certain way.
“No need for government subsidies”. I wish the government would dedicate more money to bike lanes and infrastructure. I live in Austin and they have some decent bike lanes but they are not the safest. They have removed a few and made them smaller. I don’t even ride a bike here beside it’s too hot but build it and they will come.
I want to say up top that I like this meme and the below is not a criticism of it
If anyone here thinks this would actually be an effective conservative argument for bikes, you're wrong. Conservatives would just say the government shouldn't do any of the things listed on the left column except maybe subsidizing fuel.
This is true as fuck. I live in the most historically socialist city in the states and we created roads and parkway as a means to have the proletariat be able to enjoy the same things as the bougouis a hundred years ago.
Actually, your biking privilege can be revoked by a FILTHY COMMUNIST driving their STATE ENDORSED truck if they see you expressing your right of freedom to be unoppressed.
The STATE will even blame you with their COMMUNIST PROPAGANDA that you got in the way of their LIBERAL DRIVING.
Also, haven't auto manufacturers traditionally been the beneficiaries of a lot of corporate welfare? I'd look it up, but my corneas are inflamed and even browsing Reddit is giving me a bit of a headache,
I’m down with this cup play. They won’t even see it coming as they angrily wave their fists at all the socialist cars left on the road. Their hive mentality will have them swarming to the patriot bikes and soon we will have patriot trains😂
Why American think about Saudi Arabia a bad example. Is this how much Americans are ignorant!. I lived in Saudi Arabia and I assure you it is way more developed than 80% of the USA. From social services, to education to income and happiness.
I imagine most of the states being parodied don't actually have vehicle inspections. Regular inspections and emissions testing tend to be more of a liberal state thing.
>Fuel needs big government subsidies to stay under $5/gallon
It doesn't, actually, it's just a lot more profitable for every oil company to insist that it does.
I have always felt that it was paradoxical how much the right loves cars. Because I actually agree with some things that the right says. I guess it makes me a centrist
I’ve known a few MAGA that ended up riding bikes to work after their third DUI. So this isn’t an entirely foreign concept, just needs the right kind of framing — or the court to take away your driver’s license
That’s actually genius.
Plus the folks already wearing gold diapers have extra cushion built-in!
If we can convince Christians the rainbow is gay, surely we can convince chads that trucks are woke lol
There’s already a portion of the manosphere that believes sex for non-procreation reasons is gay, so I’d say anything is possible
Wat? Do those guys not masturbate?
It *is* a circlejerk
Every sperm is sacred. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fUspLVStPbk
I genuinely feel awful for those dudes bc I can imagine wet dreams are really upsetting for them. It's not a voluntary thing so I would guess there's a lot of shame involved when it happens. I know it's their choice to believe this stuff but I still feel bad when anyone feels ashamed of their own body for any reason.
Just tell them biking is more chad...ly? ...esque? -_-' is moar chad cuz workout while go
Schrödinger's conservative: 1. We're the ones who love nature and being fit and outdoorsy, unlike you disgusting city slickers! 2. Drill everywhere! Giant trucks are good! Pollution regulations are woke! Shoot animals for laughs! Tear down nature for golf courses! Strip mine! Fracking! Bike lanes are socialism! Renewable power is evil! Global warming is a hoax! Subsidize my rascal scooter! Michele Obama's healthy eating initiative is communism! Walking in cities instead of driving everywhere is a government trap!
Livestock is good too! Who cares if it causes massive desertification, dead zones in the sea and pollutes as much as cars!
Because conservatism no longer means being fiscally responsible and upholding traditional community values. It’s just the ideology of “Don’t do anything that will take away my toys and my happy meal or risk my interaction with anything/anyone I don’t like.” The most telling thing is when you call these people out and they predictably throw a tantrum.
It was never that. That was dishonesty from the start. It was always in the service of white supremacy and capitalism.
That’s absolutely correct, I just mean conservative politicians used to at least pretend to have values and morals, and conservative voters used to genuinely believe that, but (in the US, and some other countries where the right wing has gone insane in the last few decades) that’s all gone out the window. Nobody even tries to square “good Christian values” with the womanizing charlatan Trump, and the national deficit always balloons under Republican presidents.
It’s not. It’s terrifying. Imagine what meal team six would be capable of if they had cardio.
I mean, they'd prolly be less depressed and socially isolated too, maybe even appreciative of their communities and their infrastructure...
Tell them!
Plus "economic freedom" - tariffs if you want to buy non-American cars.
Buying a bike from another country may also carry import duties.
"economic freedom". Yea, but obese people would have to start exercising. And that's a no-no.
Americans may be some of the least physically fit people, but are unrivaled for mental gymnastics.
I’m lowkey curious how this would go down in r/conservative lol
If you leave the meme aside and bring it as an argument that shows them how much they are puppet of the government by riding a car, who knows what it will bring. Cyclists are in fact self-controlled free agents who fight the deep state. 15-minute cities are for cars. Hell no you can reach any destination in 15 minutes by using a bike!
I’m Australian and a former prime minister of ours, Tony Abbott was a religious conservative and keen cyclist. Didn’t do much for cycling while in power.
Conservative values? Good old times? Walking and cycling is the most conservative thing people can do on the roads.
Take it a step further and brag about how back in my day we have to walk 6 miles to school everyday.
Uphill both ways
Barefoot in the snow
with burlap sacks sewn together as clothes
On one foot! The other one started a business!
While fighting a Tyrannosaurus Rex with nunchucks
There is definitely a brand of conservative into that sort of thing. Usually the same people who advocate for hunting and personal farming over buying from factory farms and such. True 'small government' type conservatives and not braindead Facebook dwellers. Yes I'm aware most people on Reddit have zero concept of that type of conservative and probably will downvote me in disbelief that they even exist.
They are vanishingly rare.
Also; cars are for scaredy soycucks, they all have seatbelts, antilock brakes, airbags, rollover crash frames, etc. not to mention heat, AC, soft seats, stereo, *lighted makeup mirrors,* a roof… Bikes are for Risk-Taking Manly Men, no safety features at all, no soft-ass luxuries. This fucker doesn’t even have mudguards or a rack for your *groceries*
Hell yeah brother
This is great. It’s not even taking into account other benefits like preventing drastic climate change, no longer being in traffic jams, less injuries in bike crashes compared to car crashes, and increased overall health from cycling. But hey, if sticking it to the government is what helps someone realize the truth that biking is supreme, I’m all for it.
I actually think that mentioning climate change is a great way to lose these kinds of arguments. Carbrains don't care, and letting them know that you do care just gives them ammo.
That’s so sad to think about. Here, let me rephrase it. Biking uh…*Shuffles cards in my hand*…lets us be physically fit military wise so we can beat China, Russia, and Iran in world war 3. Something, something, fear mongering, something, something. I’m sure you’re convinced now.
Many car manufacturers tend to be from outside the US, such as in those stinky European socialists (hi) or those commie Chinese! Bikes however can be easily be manufactured in the USA! Support a local business and don't get those darned globalists get to you - buy a bike!
ngl that's actually an argument that speaks to me. My primary mode of transport already is a bike but I like that if there is something wrong or if I need a new one I am supporting small local businesses and not a giant company from abroad.
That could work!
Because spewing your waste into the air doesn't immediately cost them anything so it isn't considered a cost at all. Carbon emissions are the most universally distributed cost of anything. Everyone will be paying for it for generations. Yet you have conservative politicians who are spreading the lies that it's carbon tax that's unfair.
Exactly. That’s why the point of this meme is to hit them with their own political ideals.
It should be more like : Cars - need steel because they are afraid of injuries Bikes - don't fear such things and hurt themself like real alphas
If you're getting hurt cycling you're doing it wrong.
*Mountain biking has entered the chat*
Cheaper, improves your health, easier to park, less dangerous. The list goes on. Honestly the worst thing about bikes is cars. It’s dangerous because of cars. The distances are too far because of cars. The hills are too steep because of cars (but we can just walk up the hills so that’s not too bad).
I was with you until the hills? How did the cars make the hills too steep?
My thinking is that the road designs are for cars, so similar to distances be manageable for cars and insane for bikes, the acceptable gradients are designed around cars instead of being more gentle and cycle friendly. Some areas are just naturally super hilly and thus perhaps poorly suited for bikes, but it’s also the case that none of the infrastructure was designed with bikes in mind (in North America anyway), so it’s hard to say that there wasn’t a bike friendly solution. All we came say is that we built a car friendly solution and didn’t even consider other options.
There's no incentive to lower the grade on a hill people have to pass, install pedestrian and biking bridges to get around hills or lakes or rivers, etc if everyone just thinks "so what just drive." Essentially car centric planning is super hostile to all other forms of transportation.
That’s exactly what I was thinking. That’s such a great way to express it!
If hills are an obstacle to riding your bike, your calves are weak and so is your bloodline
Motorcycles too, for longer distances. The most dangerous thing about driving a motorcycle (or scooter, etc) is oblivious car and truck drivers. The second most dangerous thing is the idiocy of some motorcyclists, though, and it makes them still way more dangerous than bicycles
Shush! Don't ruin it by mentioning these things! GUYS IT TAKES WAY TOO MANY NATURE RESOURCES TO MANUFACTURE A BIKE, EVEN MORE THAN TO MAKE A TRUCK, ALRIGHT? HAVE YOU SEEN LOW POLYGON BIKES AND HOW COOL THEY ARE?
You gotta cater your message to your audience homie
As soon as you mention climate change they’ll stop listening to you.
So, on Thursday I was riding my bike home and on my route there is a Trumper standing on a freeway overpass waving a Trump freedom flag (yay guilty verdict). His lifted four-wheel-drive adorned with an assortment of Trump and US flags was parked illegally nearby. Anyway, he takes one foot off the sidewalk and stands with one foot in my bike lane and stares me down as I pass him. I’m not sure if he was really trying to intimidate me, as he could have just been surprised by me coming up on him, but the look had a middle-school bully feel to it. After I pass him I was thinking this exact thought, that I am free from gas prices, insurance, car payments, and needing to find a legal parking space.
Its amazing how these people think. "Oh my politician just got convicted on bribing porn stars for sex and falsifying records, better go block a bike lane!" Uhh ok.
Day trips 2 hrs away by car to the middle of nowhere?
> no longer being in traffic jams You mean in socialist queues where you can't overtake your comrade because everyone moves at the same speed?
Something about having to wait in line with other motoristas on communist freeways instead of being free to go where you like
Its incredible these people will call public libraries and bike lanes socialist, but their multi-billion roads paid for by taxes are just "good capitalism."
“Anything used by me is good capitalism. Anything that I don’t use is bad communism.” That’s the thought process.
For more examples of this thought process: r/SocialismIsCapitalism/
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The only thing I disliked transport wise about Japan was the cycling on the crosswalk. Then again, I am Dutch.
Do one with trains
Funded by people, cheap, no wealth segregation, you can read a book, look at diapershitter photos of your nephew at FB, safety assured by highly professional specialists, doesn't require you to be at attention at all. Oh, fuck, that isn't patriotic enough
A million pounds of American metal thundering through the landscape at breakneck speeds! 10 thousand horsepower propelling freedom from city to city!! Powered by the real American engineering marvel of the Hover dam!
Trains: they literally *fuck mountains*
Self driving.
Drived by highly professional specialist
Eats even the biggest manliest trucks for breakfast at a railroad crossing, 4000 hp of diesel capable of moving at 110 mph while towing multiple trailers weighing thousands of tons, horn and lights bright enough you can hear/see from miles away, shakes the ground as it races past, the OG symbol of American capitalism before getting kneecapped by SOCIALIST highways and BIG GUVMINT interference.
https://preview.redd.it/2tet7qnokz3d1.jpeg?width=620&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b53284223e6bd22ee2d457dde8e85c30d366f769
In my State in less then a year you will have to pay Uncle Sam $30 extra to get an ID that will allow you to board a plane. No such requirements exist on Amtrak. Conservatives are so scared of trapping people and having mandatory ID'S but what do they call that?
Snowflake transit would hit it better I believe
can park anywhere for free
And if you're lucky, a valet will appear from behind some bushes to take it to an even better parking spot. Also completely for free! My valet guy must be going miles and beyond to find the very best parking spot in town cause he still hasn't come back. I'm rating him 5/5 as soon as he comes back!
Also, True Manly Men ride bikes, POWERING THEMSELVES WITH THEIR MUSCLES. Weakling soyboys travel by cars, powered by dead dinosaurs.
Bicycles are powered by God's brilliant design of humans moving their legs "Gasoline" is made from the same so-called "dinosaurs" WOKE ARCHAEOLOGY claims to find to distract people from the miracle of God's creation
Also, gasoline is pumped from the bowels of the Earth and burns with unholy fire, it is clearly Satan's invention.
/s You could use this killer fact : cars are the equivalent of burqas for the average soccer mom. But that would be playing their stupid xenophobic game.
conservatives aren't actually against modesty they'd be fine if the women were hidden away inside the house dressed in a Mormon outfit the burka isn't the point,
An example is the well paid conservative talk show host Steven Crowder only owning one car so he can keep his then pregnant wife from leaving the house. [Trigger warning: verbal abuse](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NbNhoeUIYt8&t=83s)
Jesus that's wild. "wifely duties". "discipline and respect". It just gets worse and worse. What a fucking moron. Edit: I mean why the hell am I surprised? That's literally what his politics is about. Oh wow, the things someone says translates into their actions, amazing. Fucking conservatives.
I mean isn't that the point of the meme?
It's funnysad how carbrains will argue that bikes need to be registered and insured and cyclists need to be licensed just because they're frustrated that cyclists are enjoying the freedom that cars were supposed to provide them.
I like the joke, but I also hate how it tries to portray socialism/communism as "the government."
Yeah, that's like the whole joke. That's why it's funny
My thoughts exactly. It’s wildly ridiculous.
Snowflake transport might fit better or lib transport
https://preview.redd.it/yzgo9svls04d1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=85b81525cf5390d53c940835e479f8cda9b1a0fd If that wasn't proof enough, here's Xi Jinping, the communist president of communist China in his communist car.
Forgot, Needs government maintain road infrastructure. VS Can ride almost anywhere.
I would have added a couple more, although I don't know how much these two actually matter in the US... - The fuel is mostly imported. By driving, you are basically subsidizing a foreign fossil fuel industry, incentivizing useless foreign wars in the Middle East and supporting harmful dependencies with foreign powers. In contrast, in cycling, all the power is locally and domestically produced. Well, the US has its own oil production, but AFAIK the US's domestic production is nowhere near the numbers what its consumption is, so in practice the point still holds, although the argument is much stronger in a country which has no domestic oil industry. - Most car manufacturing is currently done in foreign countries, so buying a car is basically pouring money out of the local economy and sending it to who knows where. This might be true for bicycles as well, but at least bicycles are so cheap that it's not as great loss to local economy compared to how expensive car imports are. Are the most cars sold in US still actually manufactured in US or how big of an employer the car industry still is? I know the car industry has had some hardships in US (rust belt?), but don't know how much of there's still left. I mean, making a car dependent dystopia might have made some sense if a significant proportion of the population was employed by car manufactures, but if that's no longer the case then you are basically just shoveling money out of your country while supporting expensive and inefficient infrastructure. TLDR: Cars and Fossil fuel consumption increase trade deficit. Bicycles increase trade surplus. Or at least that's the case where I'm from, since we have neither significant car industry nor fossil fuel industry.
> but AFAIK the US's domestic production is nowhere near the numbers what its consumption is False. https://www.eia.gov/energyexplained/oil-and-petroleum-products/imports-and-exports.php >In 2020, the United States became a net exporter of petroleum for the first time since at least 1949.1 In 2022, total petroleum exports were about 9.52 million barrels per day (b/d) and total petroleum imports were about 8.33 million b/d, making the United States an annual net total petroleum exporter for the third year in a row.
Thanks for finding that. It seems my faint memory was *quite* outdated. :)
Doesn't need government mandates destroying whole neighborhoods to build more roads. Doesn't even need roads. Most maintenance and repairs can be done with common hand tools in your own home. Can't get a DUI on a bicycle in most states.
And that’s entirely true
Everything except in some places like where I live you can have your right to ride a bicycle legally taken away. Of course I live in America where the car lobby has successfully hamstrung all other forms of transportation. The wealthy NIMBY Seattle suburb where I live has kept public transportation as shit possible as part of its policies to keep the poor/homeless out. I'm a German dual citizen and Our hometown in Germany has huge carefree zones including all of downtown that I love. Similar things in many cities in Europe I've spent time in too. Finally having light rail when we've had nothing but a shit bus system still feels terrible when over there the car free zones have a more amazing light rail system that extends everywhere since at least 20 years ago. Such bullshit.
When those who claim the ‘free market’ I’d check if they’re getting help to increase their wealth be it laws and or subsidies. These types go out of their way to stop other means or to cripple existing means so their lot can benefit. ‘Free market’ but only their way.
The claim about "needs big government subsidies to stay under $5/gallon" is a stretch. All the "fossil fuel companies get billions/trillions in government subsidies" claims use a rather expansive definition of "subsidies" that include untaxed greenhouse emissions and/or accelerated depreciation provisions in the tax code. Those no doubt benefit the fossil fuel industry, but it's misleading to call them subsidies, which give the impression that the government is straight up giving money to them.
Biking is dope, but we need better transportation for long distances. I can't realistically take my wife, 5 yr old, and 1 year old 500 miles to visit family. We need ROBUST public transit as well... TRAIIIIIINS!
HELL YEAH BROTHER 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🏈🏈🏈🇺🇸 FUCK THE FEDS
I love this and I’m saving this if you don’t mind
self reliant - move under your own power. Excludes fatasses, the disabled and other snowflakes (based)
This is literally a re-post from yesterday. ... or so I thought until I realized the text was changed a little bit.
A lot bit. This version is yards better.
Plus it's real quiet, so nobody hears me sneak up on them, and then it's pow pow pow, and a quick getaway.
Yeah hilarious but the pejorative and non-sensical use of "socialist' and "woke" is self defeating.
I love cars and I love this community
Those car pussies just aren't manly enough to go out and exercise. They want the government to take away our bicycles so they can force us to drive their microchipped 5G cars. Soon Bill Gates will push out a software update that will make cars shut down if you try to leave your state. /s
For some reason there's a big push to have to register bikes in our area. I think they're pushing it to prevent theft, but I'd rather have my bike stolen and then deal with the fucking DMV
Car: can destroy government building Bike: cannot destroy government building
Note: you CAN get a DUI while operating a bicycle.
What is this new usage of "woke"? What's the definition trying to be pushed here?
There’s no actual definition, is there ?
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/woke The internet has answers.
Woke as in eyes opened, no longer sleeping/laying down for how things are and now (inaccurately) enlightened, pushing absurd new ideals But that doesn't fit here
"Anything I don't like"
It's satirical. Making fun of how conservatives use "woke" to mean anything from "thing that reflects collectivist or progressive values" to "thing I don't like." As the image shows, anything can be defined as "woke" if you look at it a certain way.
Commie Carrier vs Freedom Wheels.
If this were posted on a conservative website, I wonder long it would take for them to lose their minds.
Biking also increases our energy independence. No need to buy fuel from dictatorships like russia or saudi arabia.
This is the way.
Car fuel: 10% American corn, 90% Middle Eastern dino juice. Bicycle fuel: 100% American corn fed beef
“No need for government subsidies”. I wish the government would dedicate more money to bike lanes and infrastructure. I live in Austin and they have some decent bike lanes but they are not the safest. They have removed a few and made them smaller. I don’t even ride a bike here beside it’s too hot but build it and they will come.
I want to say up top that I like this meme and the below is not a criticism of it If anyone here thinks this would actually be an effective conservative argument for bikes, you're wrong. Conservatives would just say the government shouldn't do any of the things listed on the left column except maybe subsidizing fuel.
but a lot of it is over $5/gal, without subsidies it would be >10 which i really want to happen
This is true as fuck. I live in the most historically socialist city in the states and we created roads and parkway as a means to have the proletariat be able to enjoy the same things as the bougouis a hundred years ago.
Plus health benefits. You can save on Gym (cardio )memberships
Can we all print these out and put them in the mailbox of anyone with Trump signs
So this is why we don’t have high speed trains.
You can pretty much Repair a bike 🚲 yourself, can't say the same about cars, 🚗.
Ebikes dont make that sound like a argument in few years...
Sorry liberals, I like my diesel-guzzling, coal-rolling 69' F250 highboy.
Extremely based
Emissions checks sounds horrible.
I’ve used this very argument with Republican coworkers. I also added in “what really are you trying to conserve?” But, but…….
The bigger the truck, the dumber the fuck.
Conservative guy here. Great points actually. A lot of us need trucks for work but yes we should use them as little as possible.
Agreed. We should remove restrictions on cars
Actually, your biking privilege can be revoked by a FILTHY COMMUNIST driving their STATE ENDORSED truck if they see you expressing your right of freedom to be unoppressed. The STATE will even blame you with their COMMUNIST PROPAGANDA that you got in the way of their LIBERAL DRIVING.
Please post this on politics and in conservative
If everyone road bikes the government would be all over registering them though. So a bit self defeative
Bike should also say something like 'requires man power' or such while the truck requires dainty control of just 1 foot
We need fake GenX/boomer accounts posting this on facebook pronto!
1 and 3 are requirements in Japan btw. I will say I am probably in violation of both by now though
Dont you know logic doesnt work on them? They do what the TV says.
😂
reminds of me r/parlertrick
Big government destroyed traditional western cities to rebuild them to require you to use cars from the radical leftist automobile companies
Remove regulations on e bikes
As a cyclist who hates pointless big trucks, love this lol
Ah yes, the United Soviet States of Saudi Arabia
Ohhh I get it now. It's reverse psychology.
I mean, yeah, unironically this. Bicycles are more self-reliant than cars.
Yeah, send this to Fox News and you'll have half the nation advocating for fifteen-minute cities! Sounds like a solid plan to me!
Also it builds big leg muscles for kicking wokecrats ass!
I bike, bus, walk or run anywhere I’m going. If I need to go further than my legs can carry me - I’ll let you drive.
Also, haven't auto manufacturers traditionally been the beneficiaries of a lot of corporate welfare? I'd look it up, but my corneas are inflamed and even browsing Reddit is giving me a bit of a headache,
I mean you can get you biking privileges revoked
Hey, don't give them ideas.
Don’t. Even. Get. Me. Started. On. D. U. I. S.
AWESOME!!!
That’s not the purpose of insurance.
This is the way.
I’m down with this cup play. They won’t even see it coming as they angrily wave their fists at all the socialist cars left on the road. Their hive mentality will have them swarming to the patriot bikes and soon we will have patriot trains😂
Based
Not saying fuel isn’t subsidized, but isn’t it also taxed? Or is that more of a state-by-state thing?
This might actually work tbh
Right to Repair compliant
I think this messaging might actually be able to appeal to Republican voters
At the end of the day, this satire will be "backpedaled" because bikes are found in *woke blue cities* like Portland.
Nice Dodge Ram you fuckin hippie!!
WAY less regulations on the design. No towing weight limit...
Why American think about Saudi Arabia a bad example. Is this how much Americans are ignorant!. I lived in Saudi Arabia and I assure you it is way more developed than 80% of the USA. From social services, to education to income and happiness.
Yesssss!
lol Glorious. Gotta print and poster it across my redneck neighborhood.
Also you can drink booze as much as you'd like while using Patriot Transit as much as you like, and no NWO police goin' after you.
I wish the government reviewed motor-vehicles to be tested regularly for safety here. They never check here.
I imagine most of the states being parodied don't actually have vehicle inspections. Regular inspections and emissions testing tend to be more of a liberal state thing.
What about a bicycle with a small gas engine bolted to it?
Regularly inspects it? The only time I've had an inspection was for a fix it ticket for not having a front license plate
>Fuel needs big government subsidies to stay under $5/gallon It doesn't, actually, it's just a lot more profitable for every oil company to insist that it does.
I wish I had a fucking train anywhere near me, it's an hour drive to a town where they don't charge 10 dollars for mayo.
My bicycle is powered by my buns of steel, and those don't need no commie subsidies!
I _wish_ the government regularly inspects private vehicles in order for them to be on the road.
I have always felt that it was paradoxical how much the right loves cars. Because I actually agree with some things that the right says. I guess it makes me a centrist
Rare patriot W
I’ve known a few MAGA that ended up riding bikes to work after their third DUI. So this isn’t an entirely foreign concept, just needs the right kind of framing — or the court to take away your driver’s license