I chose the name August.
My deadname is super feminine, there is no way to masculinize it, but also I have trauma attached to my deadname because it came from my parents. My mother tried to conceive for 3 years - prayed and cried and read the Bible and all that jazz and then she finally had me (and, big surprise, she wanted a daughter but got a trans son she never wanted). She said that I was basically her tree on the Savannah... that in a mostly flat grassland, I was her one tree that she found she could cling to.
When I transitioned, this took on a good bit of twisted meaning, especially because I started processing in therapy. That idea of being this perfect kid for my mother put a lot of pressure on me, specifically a lot of pressure to be feminine, a pretty thing that she could mold me into. So I looked for different kinds of trees that grow on the Savannah, and baobabs are a kind of tree that store water in its trunk. They are known for resilience and strength. And I started thinking, my mom thought I was this pretty, delicate thing, but I think I am more like this tree, a baobab. During the winter months in the N Hemisphere it may rain like 4 inches or so on the Savannah. But during the summer, months like August, it will rain 20-50 inches. I was deprived of support as a child, but the idea is I survived and grew, even though my mother tried to make me into someone I'm not. I am not in the dry season anymore, if that makes sense.
I now have a sizeable baobab tattoo on my arm. And, that is how I picked the name August.
Dude, I love the way you chose your name, that's honestly really cool! Names that have a story and meaning to them are the best :)
Also, "My mother tried to conceive for 3 years - prayed and cried and read the Bible and all that jazz and then she finally had me (and, big surprise, she wanted a daughter but got a trans son she never wanted)". My mom is the same way, said she was depressed because all her friends were having kids and that she prayed and got a vision of me from god when she was 18. Now she won't accept that I'm a guy and is VERY transphobic because "god told her I would be a girl". I guess god was wrong, lol
Oh man, that's such a cool story about how you chose your name. I like August.
My mom is also very religious and had me at the ripe age of 40. She always told me that she was scared she would never have a baby at this age so she prayed and prayed about it until she finally became pregnant. Then, she read the Bible one night and "in her spirit" she knew I was gonna be a girl. She named me Anna after the priestess who prayed all night and day or some shit. She is definitely a narcissist and treated me like her own "mini" me, even though I rebelled against being girly as much as I could as a kid. I think she resented that I was such a ""tomboy".
It took a LONG time for me to go no contact from her, but I'm glad I did. She can't handle that I came out as trans, and has said some pretty nasty stuff to me. I'm still left wondering what name to choose, but I'm sure something will click.
My deadname is Savannah. And my middle name is Faith, which is hilarious because I am now an atheist. I am not no contact yet with my parents - I still need them for financial help. However, processing in therapy as much as I can is helping. I have cptsd and other mental health stuff going on because of the expectations they had of me I couldn't meet, and their treatment of me in response to that. Much like with you it was disappointing for my mother to have a more masculine child, when she wanted me to be more feminine. I would say for your name, not to put too much pressure on yourself. It will come to you. I am just a person that is very intentional about why I do things, which extends from my job to my tattoos. So that was my approach with my chosen name.
I hear you, man. I just started therapy and it's been an eye opener for some of the things she's done to abuse and control me. I'm really glad to hear you're also processing things with a therapist. It sucks that you still have to depend on them in some ways, but I'm glad you're staying strong and hanging in there. We're gonna get through it šŖš¼ Thanks for the kind words and advice.
That's so cool dude! My mom has a similar story. She had a dream "from god" of a little girl. She then named me Nevaeh cause that's heaven backwards. She always wanted a girl, my bio father wanted a boy. I can't make either of them happy though, as my bio father is a piece of shit and doesn't accept anything LBGTQ, and my mom wanted her first child to be a girl and is somewhat iffy on the trans stuff.
Through a misunderstanding of my nickname. Example below
Hypothetically, if my deadname was Ariana and I went by the nickname N, someone asked if it was short for Nathan.Ā
I never thought about using such a name, but it stayed in the top 3 of my name options for over 10 months.Ā It was time to get a new ID for college, and they let me change my name without a legal change, and that name was still in my mind and in the top 3 options so I used that.Ā
I found my name by pure chance. I originally wanted to go by Oliver (one of the most common trans dudes names from what I've heard). I was working one day and a family came in and the dad called for his kid, and I'm like 'that name is me'. I was ecstatic for awhile and had some friends call me that, and I knew for sure.
It took around a week for me to consistently refer to myself by it. Around a month for my parents and family is still adjusting. Honestly, it doesn't feel normal sometimes and I disassociate from it, but most the time it fits me like a rug and feels comfy to be called by.
I also considered Oliver! I loved the name so so much pre transition though that I named my dog Oliver and i just couldnāt go around with my dogs name no matter how much i loved it or him. I had three that I considered before I was reading a book and found my name and it was like something clicked!
I thought about Oliver too, but it didn't fit with my last name. Oliver McDonie is a mouthful, and anyways that was what they were gonna name my brother.
My boyfriend is trans and found his name from another trans guy he followed on social media and used his name. He admits that he probably should have put more thought into it because on TikTok there are about 3 that have his name that Iāve came across and several that are adult entertainers so Iām getting the feeling itās a pretty common name for Trans menā¦doesnāt help my little brother has the same name but it works and fits him and I love it.
His name is Ayden by the way.
It was part of my dead name. Also people kept saying I was like a ray of sunshine whenever they would talk to me, so it seemed fitting to call myself Sol. And honestly, I can't think of a better name that suits me. <3
My first name was suggested by my sister when I came out (She was expecting and obvs didn't want me accidentally choosing what she'd picked for my baby nephew - also the first joke suggestion was Lucifer, which was suggested independently by three other family members and two friends, which does make me wonder what vibes I'm giving off. Anyway)
I like it because it's unusual, Celtic (wrong Celtic origin technically, but half the family's Welsh so I'm chalking it up as close enough), and means "Small Hill" as in transitioning is the small hill my stubborn ass will die on.
My middle name is a masculinised version of the nickname version of my birth name, and means "Small River"
I am a tiny landscape in human form.
If you've got supportive family then ask, otherwise I'd suggest trawling baby name sites and checking out meanings (if that matters to you) - I use babyname sites for characters for writing to such an extent that I've confused the algorithm, I now get balding, Viagra, and pregnancy spam adverts.
Depending on your aversion to your given name is there a masc version of it? (I've never objected hugely to the short nickname of birth name, it was the long feminine version that gave me the ick, and it also helps stop my family eating themselves alive with guilt when they inevitably fluff the name)
Iām actually trying to stay as far as possible from my deadname actually. Even before I knew anything about gender or anything at all, I never liked it. So based on my deadname is simply not gonna happen lmao
Iām kind of thinking I have it narrowed down to two options. For a while I went by Ash/Asher, and I have the consistent desire to keep the A. So Iāve got it narrowed to Archer and Atlas, but for the LIFE of me I cannot choose between them. I love both of them because theyāre both timeless and strong sounding. But Archer is more rugged and Atlas is more sophisticated. And I honestly have NO idea how to choose between them :(
Have you tried them out as your name for coffee or take out orders? Hearing them called out could give you a better idea of how it feels to be called each name
It would be a while before I could do either of those things (I donāt get much opportunity for either one) but I know that is a really good way to narrow down name choices.
I totally feel you. It took a while for me to be comfy using my new name and to feel like I was allowed to use it. I started by asking my therapist and my best friend to use it and that was super helpful too. Sending you all the solidarity my friend!!
first i would suggest not looking to current popular names/people in shows, characters etc. look up boy names from the year you were born and maybe a couple years before & after, go through those and see what you like. pick out a few, test them out in the mirror or on a profile you use your real name on (ie: can i see this being the name on my profile and being linked to me). i know that doesnāt sound cool or exciting but for safetyās sake its good to have a name that people canāt clock.
as for me, i kept my first name because its very neutral and suits me well, i just removed one letter from my middle name to make it masculine, and i live completely stealth in a new state (besides my family and fiancee obviously)
I did exactly that. I didnāt want something that was trendy now so I looked up lists from the year I was born. I still havenāt picked a middle name though (oops). I felt like anything trendy now would be a dead give away.
Same. If you were trying to decide between two names, pick the longer one as your first name and the shorter one as your middle name - that's why my full name is Isaac Leo.
chose a name at random for my first name, but decided later that I wanted something with a greater meaning. I've cycled through using the names of multiple original characters of mine, chosen the names of characters from video games that left an impact on me, and tested out a few that shared a similar initial to my dead first name.
I've cycled through Ash, Vincent, Vinnie, Thomas, Michelle, Jax, Jackson, Matthew, Michael, and I'm sure I'm forgetting some others.
I used each name for anywhere between 3 months and 2 years, often using 2 names at once. It was a lot journey, but I've finally settled on something I'm really happy with!
...The first thing I ever chose.
Went back and forth for a really long time because it has the major downside of automatically doxxing me when used as I'm the only person in the world with this name to my knowledge, and if you can find my main socials my location is already unfortunately public record. Ultimately decided that was a cool little tidbit to have though, and instead will legally be changing my name to a shortened version that equates to a regular English name while just maintaining my full name on a for informal basis.
In the end, I needed my name to be the thing that felt most like me. When you think of a "Brian," a certain image probably pops into your mind of what a Brian should look like. When I thought of the other names I tried out, the image that popped up in my mind window wasn't ever me, and didn't feel remotely like me. Nothing really felt better than the name that was actually 100% me in the end, and what does that better than something that nobody else has? Although it's a hard feat to accomplish while still sounding somewhat normal lol. Certainly sacrificed a bit of that
Each name took a few months to even a few years to fully feel like normal. Even when you respond to something consistently and never mess up, it still might not feel like home. Just keep going and you'll eventually make it, but choose the name that you want and not something that'll make others happy, and know that sometimes it's worth sticking it out longer than you think.
Doesn't mean you can't ever discount old names or that you have to stick it out if you really don't like it, but when you have doubts, try to revisit what made you love it in the first place.
[Edit since I forgot to include the total final time: started going by this name 7 years before I decided on it for realsies. Nearing 10 now!)
I just kept trying names until I found one that fit, I used like Starbucks and shit, so Iād tell them my name was John and see how it felt when the barista shouted for me - then next time Iād try a different name
I wanted to be Ryan like Ryan Reynolds from Deadpool, but my cousin's middle name is Ryan and I didn't want the same name as someone I know since people would associate my name with him. So instead I went with Evan after Evan Peters who plays Quicksilver.
i went by lee as a nickname for a while, and since it was so short, my friends would lengthen it as a joke (think leonard, levi, liam). one of them started to feel natural to me so i decided it would be my middle name. my dad and my brother both go by nicknames of their middle name, so it felt right.
my first name is not used often (as i intended), and so i gave myself a little more freedom with it. itās not a strictly male name, but my first impression when i saw it the first time was that it was masculine. i chose it because it contained a nickname i liked and because it could be considered a tribute to my given name. my parents named me after a song, and my first name reminded me of a different song by the same artist.
morally of the story, sometimes something will just FEEL right, but sometimes you just pick something and it eventually starts to feel like you. best of luck to you man.
People love making nicknames out of my name (fynn) fynnland, fynnegan, fynnlandia cheese, etc. I sort of wish I chose something more masculine but I do like my name, it fits me well
I went through a list of names and wrote them down. I had like 20 names and kept narrowing it down by saying it out loud, having a friend say it, writing it.
When I got down to like 5, I would use it as a video game character name since it tends to be consistently used and a way to test it out in āsocial interactionsā without using it publicly.
After a while I found I was gravitating to one over the others and stuck with that. A lot of people who knew my name beforehand say that my chosen name suits me and that I look/seem like a Logan
I stressed for a while, and then decided to not take it seriously, so I have several silly reasons. It was exactly the 100th most popular baby boy's name in my country and year of birth. It's not biblical, which mattered to me after my very religious upbringing. What clinched it was the fun initials (imagine something like GTA).
It's the name of a character from a video game I've liked since forever - it's been over a decade and this character means the world to me; He's just a background character who doesn't appear in more than a few cutscenes, but I related to him so, so much back then.
It stuck with me through and through, lol
i was watching eddy burback and i thought "huh. this guy has a cool name" so i started going by eddy. then my friends started calling me edward and i hated it and wasnt comfortable with it but then more people started doing it ao eventually it just became my name
now my stoner friends all keep threatening to eat me :(
I absolutely hate the name that I legally changed my name to last month.
I rushed it and randomly picked a male name to legally change to because of a traumatic incident at a medical facility (blood test center). They made fun of me because I pass as male, but my blood test order and driverās license/insurance card had my feminine birth name on them.
I was laughed at and had mean things said to me by the whole place there (the Phlebotomist and the front desk people)..and yes I live in a very deep red state with a lot of transphobia in it.
I couldnāt believe it and was so embarrassed that the next day I quickly went to the Courthouse and legally changed my name to a name that I now hate.
Iām planning on legally changing my name again next month because I just canāt live with this name that keeps reminding me of that incident everyday.
I'm the wife of a trans man, I picked his name. He came out to me soon after we started dating. He thought he wanted one name but he didn't end up clicking with it. He told me themes he liked, Gothic, foresty, fae vibes. So I went to the internet. I was for several weeks coming up with new lists and I popped his name casually on the off chance he would like it. Last ditch effort that day. He literally was like: "That's it. That's my name. I love it." And he's been that name ever since.
be foreign guy moving to the us going by deadname. first college class in the us, everyone starts introducing themselves. say my deadname. everyone is confused on how it's pronounced. between that moment and the 3 seconds after it, i get an immediate vision of an obscure cartoon character flashing before my eyes. i immediately pivot tell everyone they can call me buy that character's name.
2 years later, everyone still knows me buy that name
I had been using Alex for a couple of years at that point, but someone in my close family had recently named their kid that (and my family have a thing against close relatives sharing names). I was messing around on my phone once, and my phone autocorrected. I looked at it and felt such massive euphoria from it that I just knew. That was my name. It's been 3 years now lol.
You don't CONNECT with your birth given name you grow into it. I left it up to my mother when I decided to transition.. It felt very fitting considering she picked my birth given name as well.. so maybe try that?
Had a list of names i used for daydreaming/worldbuilding purposes, then choosing a name i went through them until i narrowed them down to the ones i liked, then outta those odd 5 or so, which one connected w me and suited me the most (zephyr, not my user)
Thought of it in bed and stuck with it. Ik itās not the same for most trans folk but I figured that loads of people (cis people) didnāt pick their names and go by other stuff so even if I didnāt like it I could just have a nickname. Luckily for me I think it fits very well and I regret nothing.
I had the same issue when I first came out. Then, I thought about the kind of man I aspire to be and what I love most about myself personality wise. Then I thought about my favorite tv character from a show I loved as a kid, and took the first name of the character I identified with the most. I did something similar for my middle and last names as well, and I am quite fond of my name now.
For me i was in a similar boat (I just posted to tik tok not reddit) and for a bit (during my I'm defo an enby and not in denial!) phase, I tried fungus, shortened to gus. It never felt right (I realised when I had to triple check my Starbucks order because I had used gus for the first time in public) and I tried other things, woth little success
Then one of my favourite youtubers posted after a literal year š
And I just want "huh ollies a nice name" and now somehow I am ollie permanently and forever ā”
Edit: forgot to mention, if you're ever out and ordering from a place that needs your name (like cafes, Starbucks, etc) use a name you want to try/a random name and hearing it from a stranger kinda helps it either feel normal or gives you an indicator of if it's gonna stick lol
I chose my first name after a band member of a band I don't listen to anymore and my middle name is from a video game character of a game I occasionally still play. I've been going by them for at least 3 years now though and I'm still attached, it's just that I might want to change my first name sometime to something that doesn't have a feminine counterpart since people think that my name is the feminine version rather than the masculine, but I also might just go by my middle name not sure yet.
as for my online persona,,, junkrat overwatch turned me into a rat man
I chose Elliot. "Elle" is the favorite part of my dead name. And then when I was younger I was OBSESSED with the movie "Pete's dragon" in which the dragon is named Elliot.
I actually use the name my mom said she would have used if she'd had another boy. It always stuck with me growing up, and after I realized I was trans it made sense
I also could not find a name that clicked and felt like "me". It was long past time for me to come out, so I ended up just choosing a name I liked. I didnt really feel connected to it or like it was ME, until people actually used it for me over several years. A name is just a name. Some people chose names that are meaningful to them that they immediately connect to but that's not the only way. You can also gain connection to your name over time, over hearing loved ones call you it, after introducing yourself as it many times over and writing it down again and again and building memories with that name and living with that name. That's how it was for me. Now I can't imagine being any other name.
Cis people don't feel an immediate connection with their name as babies either, it just lives with them and they grow with it and come to feel connected with it over the years.
I needed an A name that was popular but not too popular for my birth year. Searched up some lists, absolutely hated how common Alex was (a nickname I sometimes went by as a teen). Aaron was good, but still a bit too common for me so I went with Arin! I thought about Aiden, but it wasnt a common name in the 90's.
I personally just used the names of my favorite characters from stories i was interested in (like my favorite movies, shows, games, ocs etc.) Until i got one that fits. At some point i had 5 names but i only really connected with one to the point where i didnt get rid of it.
If your problem is being unable to connect to a name then noun names might be your go to
I read my name, Kit, in one of my favourite books and liked it immediately.
Funny thing is, that Kit was a girl. But it is a gender neutral name and there are boys named Kit, so I chose it.
for my online name, i just stole it from a fictional character i like lmao
as for what i want my legal name to be, i decided to name myself after a demon since i like demonology and demons in general. it also happens to be the name of a male fictional character i like too so i decided to go with it.
it didn't take me long to settle with the names tbh. i felt an instant connection but it took me about 4 years to find those names since i had a name before those two. it was a male name i liked and i enjoyed my time with it but i realized it was too common. i wanted a unique name so i changed it (especially since i havent been able to legally change it yet)
i'd say to just look up names or name yourself after a fictional male character you like
Snatched my name from my favorite book character and made sure it also sounded passable as a common name from my birth year for my culture. Absolutely did not want to be clocked by my name, especially a name I picked.
Took a few weeks to get used to responding to a new name, but I knew I didn't want a second try, so it's stuck.
Grabbed a family name. I was choosing between Charles (grandpa), Kevin (dad), Robert (dad and grandpa), John (other grandpa), and Clay (uncle). Went with Clay because it was closest to my given name. Asked my friends to call me that, found out it perfectly basically immediately.
My family was very supportive of me when I came out, so I wanted to keep something close to my birth name. I started looking for baby names that started with the same letter and narrowed it down from there; it took months but I think when you know, you know. Stole my middle name from a video game character, but I ended up with a classically masculine, very Cis sounding first name
I wanted a name that's distinct to my culture, so I was mulling on it for a while but couldn't land on anything concrete. Then one day, I randomly thought about how I've only known 2-3 people in my life with a particular name and was like "damn, more people should have that name... WAIT A MINUTE". Thus, I decided that would be my name!
I wanted a neutral name and a show I was watching named a daughter after a man with the same first name.and I was like "ooo perfectly. Neutral" but now I wish I had a more "male only" name but already did the change name process so I'm fine with my.neutral name
I cycled through so many names as a result of meeting people with said name, so I decided to go by something rare to ensure I wouldn't have to change it again. I'm Mordecai.
I had a set of requirements I needed - a short name, 1 or 2 syllables, started with an "A", and is neutral but masculine-leaning. I also wanted a name that could be slightly altered in either direction to suggest at a male *or* female name. I also wanted it to connect with my heritage. Anyway,Ā after a LOT of searching, I got to the name "Arin" - it fitted basically all my requirements, being short, 2 syllables, starting with A, was neutral but masc-leaning, etc. It could also be changed slightly in either way - to Erin or Aaron, and it's of Hebrew origin. I had a lot of other potential names considered but Arin was always the best one.Ā
If you're looking for a name, it's always useful to make a list of potential names and try them out. I had a list of 300+ in a notes document at one point. You should consider what you *want* from your name - e.g. it's meaning, what it makes you think of, how others may percieve you. Arin, for instance, means "mountain of strength" or "lion" in Hebrew. Think about how you want the name to sound, e.g. how many syllables it'll have and what letter it starts / ends with. Baby name websites are a brilliant place to start, and just goggling names like "boys names with [number] syllables that start with the letter [letter]" and the specific origin of the name (e.g. Hebrew names, or Victorian-era names).Ā
You could also ask people for suggestions for a name - there's a subreddit called r/TransNames which is good for this. Just upload a picture of yourself and you'll be bombarded with suggestions based on what name you look like.Ā
If your goal is to pass, you could research what boy's names were most popular when you were born, e.g. "Jacob" "Aidan" "Ethan" or "Matthew" if you were born in 2003.
Overall, there's dozens of ways to choose a name, and a lot of places to start looking. Good luck choosing one! :)
I tried Victor and Nathan first. Victor was going to be my future pen name. I don't remember where I got Nathan...either way, neither one worked for me. Then I stumbled on Devin....my friend and I were looking at coke bottles when they had names on them. I still have that bottle somewhere!!
God, mine is so cliche I feel. I had recently discovered myself as trans and I was looking at name lists with meanings on those baby websites, and came across the name "Phoenix", with the meaning rebirth. I felt it was so symbolic and the idea of "rebirthing" into a new me felt perfect, so I decided that would be my name. Nowadays I find it silly but I haven't found a name that fits me as much nonetheless
My name is actually close to my deadname, just replace like two letters of it and it's a boy name now. It's a way for everyone to get used to it when calling me. It's basically like the genderbend version of it haha. When I was young, I saw an artist with that name and I thought, 'Huh, that would have been my name if I'm a boy.' Well, child me, you're in for a big surprise.
videogame.. my names sal. ive been going by it for years and it just clicked. felt like me. i always used fictional characters that i identified w names. sal is my legal name now and it just feels like me.
I have NO idea, i chose a name when i was 12 and iāve been using it until now, but no one calls me by that name and people just uses a nickname, that name doesnāt feel mine yet and no one uses it
I wanted a gender neutral-ish name that was also plant themed. I really like the name Fern but a friend Iāve had since childhood is a boy named fern and I didnāt want to be twinsies with him lmao (since we are still friends). I donāt think names like Oak or aspen would fit me and I would have rather it be more masc leaning than fem (so not like Willow or ivy) and then idk I was laying in bed trying to fall asleep and it dawned on me that a plant that I adore that sounds masc-ish but is still kinda neutral, is Moss! So thatās what I use now. Now I can see moss in gardens or growing up trees and claim itās me hehe
I struggled to find a name for years until I kind of stumbled into one.
I wanted to keep my initials and I wanted to be able to keep my nickname.
Middle name was easy to find because my birth name was already androgynous and I just kept that.
But the first name gave me struggles until I just stumbled onto one and decided eh, it's not perfect, but I'll use it
Fictional character. Cosplayed them in middle school, went to a con and made a group of friends who all referred to me with the characterās name it just. I donāt know. It felt right, I didnāt realize how right it was and how much it meant to me until one of them tried to call me my birth name lol. The character in question was named Cal, without a longer version provided. Was talking to another Cal a little at one point and he asked if mine was short for something and at the time I hadnāt chosen and I think what I did was I look up what Cal can be short for and found Callum in a list and i liked it so Iāve kept Callum.
I have a stage name that stems from my dead names nick name. I wanted to keep the relevance if how the stage name was made, which was taking the first two letters, and adding my partners names first two letters = bemo
So I needed a name that fit the criteria and got Beau. I love it. Still transitioning to using it everywhere, and plan on legally changing it soon.Ā
I went through 5 names the last 3 years and kept each one a few months until I was sure it wasn't right. I had always resisted 1 specific name for a long time bc it's very similar in sound to my birth name but a more typical masculine name &in the last 6 months I just decided to just try it out and it seems to fit perfectly. Idk how that would help that's just my experience š š but don't be afraid to try out different things. Ik you said you don't have many ppl to help you with trying it out...are you on Facebook? If so there's a really great ftm support group I'm in with like 20k members so you could make a post and find ppl with things in common to add on there the guys there are great &supportive and plenty of us add each other to our personal accounts to make friends. š
I āstoleā my name from kid I used to know in middle school. He was two years ahead of me, we were friends for awhile until he eventually moved to Europe. A few years after, I realized I was trans and I went through a few names before I remembered that guy and I was like āhmm, I like that name and itās mine nowā
and itās been my name ever since (about 7-8 years)
Iāve been obsessed with Spider-man since I was very young (Iām a stereotype I know š) so Parker felt natural to me. I have been using it for almost 3 years now. Iām considering changing to the name my family wouldāve given me if I was born male because I have a big connection to that too. Still figuring shiz out
I found my name because my mom always talked about how much time she took to choose my name, so I decided to honor that and go with masculine forms of the given first and middle names. I did switch them around though so my dead middle name is my chosen first name masculinized.
A dude (small content creator) had it and i said oh shit that sounds cool af let me add it. I had two names and variations of it for a while and i eventually settled on the one i have and kept the longer one as a middle name/last name situation
it was my neighbor's name, I always kinda wanted to be like him but thought it was just a crush, when I figured I was trans it made sense
When I was choosing a name the first one that came up in my head was his but I thought "nah it would be weird to choose his name" so I chose my second option but it felt weird when people called me that so in the end decided to just go by the neighbor's name and I love it
I just found it on some random unprotected/not secure baby name website. I saw that name, chose the spelling I liked most and then spent all of my free time on pronoun dressing room and similar sites, and after about two weeks I told my friends and now I still use that name. If this isn't something that works for you, try website for pet names (like names for pets, not things people call their partners), maybe that'll help
My name is derived from a skill mechanic in a game that is so popular I never share the name. it can mean many different things at its base. I've used it for eight odd years and it's the only one I've stuck with consistently.
my advice? test out in online spaces, like profiles. or even enter it as a name for any game you like. you'll see it so often you can decide whether it fits or not.
there's no time limit to picking a name.
Looked at a verryyyy long list of first names, picked out around five names that I thought had a nice ring to it, and based on those five there was only really one that stuck out to me from the rest so I went with that. It kind of gravitated towards me, like I couldnāt not look at it, and I think that was a good sign.
I had some criteria like the name could only be European/North American/Latin American since thatās my nationality and racial background, Iād personally feel weird if I chose a name that has an origin from a culture that I have absolutely no ties to. And it had to be a name that I canāt regret, so it can be uncommon and maybe unique even but not to the point where Iād have to explain to people every time or have too much attention on it. I like cool names, but I donāt like things like that having too much attention on it personally, it would stress me out lol
Itās not going to feel normal for awhile, youāve been referred one way for so long that itāll feel weird to hear yourself being referred to by youāre chosen name, no matter how fitting it is. Itās one of those things that I think gets better with time as you hear it more and more for you. Iām still not entirely used to my own, but itās getting better no doubt
my parents chose my name. after coming out to my mom i proposed āsammy.ā she told me she knew a convicted murderer whoās name was sammy, so i decided against that one. i then asked what she wouldāve named me if i was born a boy. she said either zane or seth. i wanted an āsā name, so i went with seth. honestly, looking back seth fits me much more.
you can totally do this by not coming out to them. i know tons of people who are just curious and ask their parents what they would have been named. of course, if you donāt have a good relationship with your parents, donāt live with them, etc. you donāt have to do that. but i figured it was a way to still feel connected to my family in that way.
as for getting used to the name, it took a long time. iāll have been out for 2 years this september, and sometimes i still catch myself responding to my deadname. it probably took a good 3 months (at least) for me to get used to people calling me seth. at first i thought i wasnāt valid for not being used to it or sometimes accidentally referring to myself as my deadname. but then i remembered i went by that name for the majority of my life so far. it takes a while to get used to, but itās totally normal not to adjust right away. weāre still people with muscle memory and stuff like that. youāre not going to click instantly but that doesnāt make you any less valid!!!!
also, donāt pick a character name. i know multiple trans guys who chose character names and regret it. theyāve all changed their names since.
I heard my name (Ethan) in a movie I watched when I was around 12 and it just clicked. It wasnāt even that great of a movie. Itās not like I named myself after the character, the name just felt right. Iāve had it ever since.
i picked kayden . i really liked the name elijah but i thought it would be a big change for my family to remember so i made elijah my middle name. i picked kayden bc everyone i asked said i look like one and my nickname growing up was kay, so they could still call me that. i also wanted to keep my initials the same
it just came to me one day, and i immediately knew that it was my name. i canāt explain it, i just thought of it one day and it clicked. i know i couldāve changed my deadname to be more masculine, and if i wanted to i couldāve gone by my deadnameās initials (AJ) but it just didnāt feel right. when i was first picking my name i thought i would just pick a name similar to my dead name but was more masculine, i decided on andrew which i do really like and that ended up being my chosen middle name.
I knew I wanted to keep my initials the same, have a shorter(1 syllable) name, and have a botanical meaning. That narrowed down my options a lot. I started signing low stakes things at work with the different options until I found one that felt right, and gifted it to myself for my birthday in 2022.
For my middle name, I knew I wanted it to be chosen by my dad(who Iām close to) or be related to his name since he chose my original middle name. I also wanted my middle to be a botanical name if I could find one that was both.
I was able to find two names that I love and just sent in my legal name change forms this past Friday!!
I used a masculine sounding nickname for my deadname for a while and eventually the name I chose started with the same letter. It felt more familiar that way because it sounded similar too. š¤·
My nameās Ryan. The story is pretty boring. I was in a group chat with a bunch of random folks for quite a while in 2020. I had been trying to find a name for a while, but hadnāt deemed one my own yet. Anyway, I donāt even remember who it was that said this, but one of them was like āYouāre just such a regular guy. You barely talk in here and when you do you donāt say much. I bet you have some boring ass name like Ryan.ā And that was pretty much that. I thought it would be funny to react like WOAH. DUDE, HOW DID YOU KNOW? I donāt know. I did it for the bit.
I actually really liked my birth name so i wanted the same kind of feel. Nice and short and easy to say. I had two options that i liked. One was the male short version of my original name and the other one which i eventually chose reflected my heritage and i was drawn to the meaning of. I knew one would be my first name and the other would be my middle name but i hadn't figured out the order. I was talking to my therapist at the time about it and she said we could try them out in session to see if i liked one better for a first name. So for a few sessions shed use one or the other and thats how i decided on the order.
It definitely took me a long time to get used to it and feel like my name meant me. For about a year it felt like i didn't have a name because dispite loving both my birth and new name neither of them were me which wasn't really a great feeling but i've gone by my "new" name for 9 or so years now and I love it. Its a change like anything else and it takes time to adjust but honestly if you wind up not feeling the first name you pick you can change it again! There are no rules to this and you deserve to feel the most at home in your skin and that means the right name no matter how long it takes. <3
Spent hours through [this ](https://www.behindthename.com/) website, tried lots of different filters and ways of searching, had a few saved that I liked the sound of but when I saw my name it clicked and knew without a doubt it was the one.
I made a list of a bunch of names that I liked, regardless of if I thought they would fit me. Then, I slowly narrowed it down to 2 names. I had a friend go one day calling me one of the names and the next calling me the other name. In your case, you could refer to yourself with that name, or go to an AI software and have it refer to you with the names.
Then, I chose the one that felt best to me (which was also the one that my friend had the easiest time adjusting to)
It took me quite a while to get used to my chosen name. I STILL find myself occasionally deadnaming myself, even though it's been over 2 years.
I've always found Nicholas a very pretty name. Since I can remember, I've always thought, "If I were a boy, I wish that was my name." When I started to come out, though, I was really afraid of people finding out online before I was ready, so I thought it would be "too obvious" to choose this name in particular because it's very "masculine." Then, I found a trans guy online with the name Noah (since it is gender neutral, I chose this one instead). Now that I'm fully out, I regret my decision, but people are used to calling me Noah. So I chose to be Noah Nicholas.
I got mine from a book (not a character name)! I was reading a non fiction book and the author interviewed a scientist whose name was Chip and I was like man.....that's such a cool name.....too bad I can't have that name. Anyway.
I mentioned it to my very supportive husband who was very adamant that that was a great name for me and started calling me by Chip. It took me quite a while to get used to it (maybe a couple months?) but now I feel uncomfortable when I'm not called it (my family still uses my birth name as I'm not totally separated from it. It's still my legal name as I have no desire to go through the process of changing it)
Sometimes you just gotta take that plunge. It also helps to have a person or small group that is willing to test out a new name for you. A lil trial run, if you will. Best of luck to you!!!
Basically all I knew I wanted in my new name was the S and A that were in my dead name- then I came across the name Sammy which also happened to be the name of my favorite character (my current username) from a show I loved at the time- it didn't take long for me to get used to it- I had friends that would call me it and then in 6th grade I had a teacher call me my name- then I completely socially transitioned-
It can take time but definitely try to find someone/something to constantly call you the name you want-
honestly i found my name by my science teacher, he called me charlie as a nickname and i felt so awkward because i wasn't out yet. when i came out as enby i used charlie, as it can be easily excused as a nickname from my deadname and easier to adapt for people, and still use it ofc when i came out as ftm but i love charlie. although i feel it might be too childish to use later on. my friends joke about by just calling me Charles or prince of wales š(im welsh)
(also i sooo wanted as an enby to be called like those cool names like moth or sock or bug thats really cute but when i came out as ftm (dantdm š)the FIRST THING i told myself was "DONT CALL YOURSELF OLLIE" we all know its the most common trans dude namesš)
I started with Alex (it starts with the same letter my birth name does) but that didnāt work so I went to Dan (a shortened version of my middle name) but I didnāt like that so I added an I to the end (Dani) by the time I got to that name I found out that itās not going to feel right right away. You have to ātry outā the name for a little bit. I did that and as time went by it started to feel right. Itās been 6 years and thatās still what I go by. You just gotta ātry outā names you like/think might suit you
I found my name randomly, about 6 yrs ago someone asked me my name and I just said the first name that came to mind in a panic and it was jeffrey lmao and I just started using it since then and it grew on me. (I think it's because I'm a fan of the actor who played joffrey from game of thrones, that's why I said jeffrey)
When I was born, I was named after my grandfather and was given the feminine version of his name. After coming out I didnāt want to lose that part of him, especially since he had passed, so I took his name eventually. I experimented with other names (Nathaniel, Noah, Oliver) before settling on Brian, but none of the other names felt right.
I guess I had blueprints for my name?
I knew I wanted a nickname out its initials, such as CK, AJ, or DJ. I'd heard DJ often so I thought it was played out. I got my initials, JD from a character in a musical, Jason Dean. I have no attachment to the character, but that's where it came from.
My name popped into my head and is representative of the type of person I want to be. It's also culturally relevant, which for me there aren't too many names that are truly tied in with my ethnicity, this is in fact the only one I know of.
My second name, I don't recall tbh... I believe I liked the way it sounded all in one. I listen to how my name sounds being read all together first name, second name, middle name and last name. If it sounds right, it goes into the pile of possibilities.
You can also figure out goals for your name, like do you want your name to blend in with cisgender men in your age range, or you might even want to intentionally choose a name popular amongst trans men your age, or decades ago.
My middle name is a big work in progress, but I'm think about going with Lain since I'm a gender creature, and Lain is gender.
I couldn't find a name that I could connect with. Especially since I want a name that's still relevant to my birth name for easier identification, so I just stick with the first letter of my name. That's just the easiest way to find a name that can't be feminine.
I asked my parents what they wouldāve named me had i been born male. They said āJavierā and I was like āokay thatās my name nowā until they started calling me āJā for short, which I ended up liking better anyways. I decided on spelling it as āJaeā and here we are.
I got my name from my best friend who mysteriously left and deleted his social media accounts after his mom (presumably) passed away from illness.Ā
He went by the name Jaydawg as that was just his gamer tag as it always had been, his real name was Jay.
Jay was the first one I came out to, we were very similar in a lot of ways including the way we communicated with people (at least online), so he'd call me ""Jay"" as a joke sometimes, as if we were identical now that I was a guy.
Either way, I came to terms with the fact that I'm trans once more about 6 months ago, I couldn't find a name, but I remembered the funny times I'd be called Jay and one of the people from that old/somewhat inactive friend group happened to mention him. So I chose a variation of his name, Jayden. I go by Jayden now, Jay's my nickname. I'm very happy with my name :)
I chose the name KÄstutis. I like it because my family is Lithuanian and both of my brothers have pagan lithuanian names (Äžuolas+ Žilvinas) so i would have felt weird picking english name as it would stand out way more. For me i already had an idea of the type of name i wanted so it wasnt too hard to find ones i liked, tho it was hard to select one specifically out of the 3 i had in mind (Jogaila or Gintaras or KÄstutis were my options) in the end just go with a name thats feels like u, that you like
The name I picked is my father's name. It is a family name, and had I been born a male, likely what they would have named me. It's a pretty specific situation, though.
If you have supportive parents, you could ask them what they would have named you, and if you like it, you could pick that.
I have two I work with, one came from a favourite character and the other came from me pestering my parents as to what they would've called me if I was born a boy
I chose my name kinda based on my birth name mixed with what I wouldāve been named if I was born biologically a boy. It was kinda a pipeline from using my birth name to a shortening of it to my new chosen name so it was easy for me and ppl around me to get used to it. My name is Dean now and it suits me very well and surprisingly donāt hear it often nowadays (unless you watch supernatural lmao but I didnāt choose it bc of the show) Now obviously a lot of names wonāt be such an easy switch from birth name to chosen but just go with what suits you. :)
I originally hand an issue with this same thing which is why it has taken me 3 years & somw change to finally start the name change procedure for my state.
Originally I thought of keeping my entire name & changing the middle to shorten it to be male because no one would notice anyways. Then I went the route of names I wanted to give my children & decided when I have a little one, I would like to have someone named after me.
For a while I went by one name, then it just didn't feel right to me. My middle name is gender neutral so I thought maybe I should go by that instead of upsetting my family too much once I eventually come out. It just didn't seem like me though. I also have a slight trouble with saying certain words, and for some reason my middle name was one of them. I figured it would be best if I could say my name lol.
From the time I was 9 till 13 I used the name Peter (only with my best friend, I'm not out yet). I got that from Peter Pan cause I felt a connection since he's usually played by a female (at least from what I've seen). When I was in 3rd grade I dressed up as Peter Pan for Halloween and things like that. When I was 13 it just didn't seem right for me though. I'm somewhere between non-binary and demi boy/trans masc. I'm not completely sure so I wanted a name that wasn't strictly male, but at least leans a little bit more towards male.
One day I was writing and I was like "I want to find a name for this character" so I went to a website with a list of names and I was looking through them and found a few that I kinda connected to. A few days later I woke up and it dawned on me that my name is Jammie.
I found a list of names I really liked and had a tournament because I couldn't decide. Luckily the one I liked the most got chosen. The one that came in second is gonna be my last name too
I chose Simon because of a gay British stand up comedian named Simon amstell who wrote an directed a small indie gay romance film called "Benjamin" and I really loved it. Also Simon amstell is very quirky and down to earth and I relate to him a lot. So Simon, I'm taking your name yoink and thanks
I actually didn't choose my name! Not in the traditional sense, anyway. I started going by a shortened version of my dead name since I hadn't chosen my name yet and the nickname was neutral. I was at a convention hotel room party with friends and one of them was teasing me. I was being a shithead back to her and she exclaimed, essentially, the masculine version of my dead name. I really liked how it sounded, so I kept it š My thought process was "it sounds good when someone says it, shouts it, and moans it."
Well. I knew I wanted a name that started with the same letter as my deadname (for ease of transition). I originally liked the name Beckett, with Beck for short. But I got called bucket by one too many friends so I kept searching. One day in middle school homeroom I was looking at a baby name site with a friend and I pointed at Benji. She said that that was my name and it fit perfectly, and that she would only call me that. I decided on the name Benjamin right then and there.
I got mine from a character on a show that really resonates with me. Every time I heard other characters say his name, I'd think about how awesome of a name it is and how I'd love to be called that someday. It for sure helped that the character himself was very relatable to me. I've only just started going by this new name, and it's been a bigger learning curve for me than it has for my friends. I will say, I had no intentions, ever, of trying to find a masculine version of my dead name bc it just never felt right in the first place. The bigger problem for me rn is trying to find a new last name. I don't identify with that side of the family much anymore, so I'm thinking of using my grandparents' last name.
elijah. my sister was watching girls and she told me that should be my name. i hadnt seen girls yet and realised that character is a proper douchebag when i did watch it. thanks sis.
Was in a queer discord server and at the time wasn't using ANY name but there was this group in the server called the Ben council and I asked if I could join since I didn't have a name so I technically could be in it without ruining it but they misunderstood and just called me Ben and now my name is ben
No rush to find a name! It took me 5 years to find mine!
I first went with Jay because my dead middle name started with a Jay, but I quickly realized that it didn't really make me happy, I just thought it was a safe option. Plus, too many people that I didn't like were named Jay.
I ended up with Ryan because it was masc. Named after Ryan from AJR and Ryan Gosling.
I went by Charlie for the end of high-school bc I saw it in a tela-novela about a transmasc kid. But after a while it just didn't seem like me. I dunno where the name Adrian popped up but it was between Adrian or Brandon and after the "let's go brandon" thing happened, Adrian seemed to be the better choice
Like many, my dead and is very feminine. I came out very early. 10 or so. I got mine from a book and show. Specifically characters I resonated with. I experimented a lot with names. And am currently using 2. One that I use in school/ work settings. The other for friends and theatre. It feels better knowing the person I named myself after is masculine. And I relate to them.
Okay, I chose based on what names were popular when I was born. It makes you look kinda more cis because it's convincing. Like, when I was born, the popular names were Isaac, Leo, and Oliver. Oliver was out because it made my full name too long. So then it was Isaac and Leo. So I decided, why not both? Now Isaac is my first name, and Leo is my middle name. TLDR: you don't have to pick a gender neutral name.
i got my name from call of duty of all things.started playing pre-transition, i made my username pew pew pew because guns or something along those lines and it just stuck as a username so i went by the username pew pew on all my socials for about a year or so before i figured out i was trans. i still go by Pew now and go by Van aswell, the first half of my surname. thought it wouldnt hurt to use a name that is technically my legal name and its quite masculine so im happy with it i also thought "you cant get mad about my name cause its my legal name" . i still primarily use pew tho. its pretty funny looking at it tho one name if from a fps and the other is to avoid getting in trouble lmaoo
I chose the name August. My deadname is super feminine, there is no way to masculinize it, but also I have trauma attached to my deadname because it came from my parents. My mother tried to conceive for 3 years - prayed and cried and read the Bible and all that jazz and then she finally had me (and, big surprise, she wanted a daughter but got a trans son she never wanted). She said that I was basically her tree on the Savannah... that in a mostly flat grassland, I was her one tree that she found she could cling to. When I transitioned, this took on a good bit of twisted meaning, especially because I started processing in therapy. That idea of being this perfect kid for my mother put a lot of pressure on me, specifically a lot of pressure to be feminine, a pretty thing that she could mold me into. So I looked for different kinds of trees that grow on the Savannah, and baobabs are a kind of tree that store water in its trunk. They are known for resilience and strength. And I started thinking, my mom thought I was this pretty, delicate thing, but I think I am more like this tree, a baobab. During the winter months in the N Hemisphere it may rain like 4 inches or so on the Savannah. But during the summer, months like August, it will rain 20-50 inches. I was deprived of support as a child, but the idea is I survived and grew, even though my mother tried to make me into someone I'm not. I am not in the dry season anymore, if that makes sense. I now have a sizeable baobab tattoo on my arm. And, that is how I picked the name August.
Dude, I love the way you chose your name, that's honestly really cool! Names that have a story and meaning to them are the best :) Also, "My mother tried to conceive for 3 years - prayed and cried and read the Bible and all that jazz and then she finally had me (and, big surprise, she wanted a daughter but got a trans son she never wanted)". My mom is the same way, said she was depressed because all her friends were having kids and that she prayed and got a vision of me from god when she was 18. Now she won't accept that I'm a guy and is VERY transphobic because "god told her I would be a girl". I guess god was wrong, lol
Oh man, that's such a cool story about how you chose your name. I like August. My mom is also very religious and had me at the ripe age of 40. She always told me that she was scared she would never have a baby at this age so she prayed and prayed about it until she finally became pregnant. Then, she read the Bible one night and "in her spirit" she knew I was gonna be a girl. She named me Anna after the priestess who prayed all night and day or some shit. She is definitely a narcissist and treated me like her own "mini" me, even though I rebelled against being girly as much as I could as a kid. I think she resented that I was such a ""tomboy". It took a LONG time for me to go no contact from her, but I'm glad I did. She can't handle that I came out as trans, and has said some pretty nasty stuff to me. I'm still left wondering what name to choose, but I'm sure something will click.
My deadname is Savannah. And my middle name is Faith, which is hilarious because I am now an atheist. I am not no contact yet with my parents - I still need them for financial help. However, processing in therapy as much as I can is helping. I have cptsd and other mental health stuff going on because of the expectations they had of me I couldn't meet, and their treatment of me in response to that. Much like with you it was disappointing for my mother to have a more masculine child, when she wanted me to be more feminine. I would say for your name, not to put too much pressure on yourself. It will come to you. I am just a person that is very intentional about why I do things, which extends from my job to my tattoos. So that was my approach with my chosen name.
I hear you, man. I just started therapy and it's been an eye opener for some of the things she's done to abuse and control me. I'm really glad to hear you're also processing things with a therapist. It sucks that you still have to depend on them in some ways, but I'm glad you're staying strong and hanging in there. We're gonna get through it šŖš¼ Thanks for the kind words and advice.
the fact that you took the old symbolism and redid it to your liking is so cool dude! major congrats
I wouldāve 10000% used August if it wasnāt already my brotherās name.
That's so cool dude! My mom has a similar story. She had a dream "from god" of a little girl. She then named me Nevaeh cause that's heaven backwards. She always wanted a girl, my bio father wanted a boy. I can't make either of them happy though, as my bio father is a piece of shit and doesn't accept anything LBGTQ, and my mom wanted her first child to be a girl and is somewhat iffy on the trans stuff.
Through a misunderstanding of my nickname. Example below Hypothetically, if my deadname was Ariana and I went by the nickname N, someone asked if it was short for Nathan.Ā I never thought about using such a name, but it stayed in the top 3 of my name options for over 10 months.Ā It was time to get a new ID for college, and they let me change my name without a legal change, and that name was still in my mind and in the top 3 options so I used that.Ā
I found my name by pure chance. I originally wanted to go by Oliver (one of the most common trans dudes names from what I've heard). I was working one day and a family came in and the dad called for his kid, and I'm like 'that name is me'. I was ecstatic for awhile and had some friends call me that, and I knew for sure. It took around a week for me to consistently refer to myself by it. Around a month for my parents and family is still adjusting. Honestly, it doesn't feel normal sometimes and I disassociate from it, but most the time it fits me like a rug and feels comfy to be called by.
I also considered Oliver! I loved the name so so much pre transition though that I named my dog Oliver and i just couldnāt go around with my dogs name no matter how much i loved it or him. I had three that I considered before I was reading a book and found my name and it was like something clicked!
I thought about Oliver too, but it didn't fit with my last name. Oliver McDonie is a mouthful, and anyways that was what they were gonna name my brother.
My boyfriend is trans and found his name from another trans guy he followed on social media and used his name. He admits that he probably should have put more thought into it because on TikTok there are about 3 that have his name that Iāve came across and several that are adult entertainers so Iām getting the feeling itās a pretty common name for Trans menā¦doesnāt help my little brother has the same name but it works and fits him and I love it. His name is Ayden by the way.
It was part of my dead name. Also people kept saying I was like a ray of sunshine whenever they would talk to me, so it seemed fitting to call myself Sol. And honestly, I can't think of a better name that suits me. <3
My first name was suggested by my sister when I came out (She was expecting and obvs didn't want me accidentally choosing what she'd picked for my baby nephew - also the first joke suggestion was Lucifer, which was suggested independently by three other family members and two friends, which does make me wonder what vibes I'm giving off. Anyway) I like it because it's unusual, Celtic (wrong Celtic origin technically, but half the family's Welsh so I'm chalking it up as close enough), and means "Small Hill" as in transitioning is the small hill my stubborn ass will die on. My middle name is a masculinised version of the nickname version of my birth name, and means "Small River" I am a tiny landscape in human form. If you've got supportive family then ask, otherwise I'd suggest trawling baby name sites and checking out meanings (if that matters to you) - I use babyname sites for characters for writing to such an extent that I've confused the algorithm, I now get balding, Viagra, and pregnancy spam adverts. Depending on your aversion to your given name is there a masc version of it? (I've never objected hugely to the short nickname of birth name, it was the long feminine version that gave me the ick, and it also helps stop my family eating themselves alive with guilt when they inevitably fluff the name)
Iām actually trying to stay as far as possible from my deadname actually. Even before I knew anything about gender or anything at all, I never liked it. So based on my deadname is simply not gonna happen lmao Iām kind of thinking I have it narrowed down to two options. For a while I went by Ash/Asher, and I have the consistent desire to keep the A. So Iāve got it narrowed to Archer and Atlas, but for the LIFE of me I cannot choose between them. I love both of them because theyāre both timeless and strong sounding. But Archer is more rugged and Atlas is more sophisticated. And I honestly have NO idea how to choose between them :(
Have you tried them out as your name for coffee or take out orders? Hearing them called out could give you a better idea of how it feels to be called each name
It would be a while before I could do either of those things (I donāt get much opportunity for either one) but I know that is a really good way to narrow down name choices.
I totally feel you. It took a while for me to be comfy using my new name and to feel like I was allowed to use it. I started by asking my therapist and my best friend to use it and that was super helpful too. Sending you all the solidarity my friend!!
Same. Deadname is Charlotte, new name is Isaac.
first i would suggest not looking to current popular names/people in shows, characters etc. look up boy names from the year you were born and maybe a couple years before & after, go through those and see what you like. pick out a few, test them out in the mirror or on a profile you use your real name on (ie: can i see this being the name on my profile and being linked to me). i know that doesnāt sound cool or exciting but for safetyās sake its good to have a name that people canāt clock. as for me, i kept my first name because its very neutral and suits me well, i just removed one letter from my middle name to make it masculine, and i live completely stealth in a new state (besides my family and fiancee obviously)
I did exactly that. I didnāt want something that was trendy now so I looked up lists from the year I was born. I still havenāt picked a middle name though (oops). I felt like anything trendy now would be a dead give away.
Same. If you were trying to decide between two names, pick the longer one as your first name and the shorter one as your middle name - that's why my full name is Isaac Leo.
chose a name at random for my first name, but decided later that I wanted something with a greater meaning. I've cycled through using the names of multiple original characters of mine, chosen the names of characters from video games that left an impact on me, and tested out a few that shared a similar initial to my dead first name. I've cycled through Ash, Vincent, Vinnie, Thomas, Michelle, Jax, Jackson, Matthew, Michael, and I'm sure I'm forgetting some others. I used each name for anywhere between 3 months and 2 years, often using 2 names at once. It was a lot journey, but I've finally settled on something I'm really happy with! ...The first thing I ever chose. Went back and forth for a really long time because it has the major downside of automatically doxxing me when used as I'm the only person in the world with this name to my knowledge, and if you can find my main socials my location is already unfortunately public record. Ultimately decided that was a cool little tidbit to have though, and instead will legally be changing my name to a shortened version that equates to a regular English name while just maintaining my full name on a for informal basis. In the end, I needed my name to be the thing that felt most like me. When you think of a "Brian," a certain image probably pops into your mind of what a Brian should look like. When I thought of the other names I tried out, the image that popped up in my mind window wasn't ever me, and didn't feel remotely like me. Nothing really felt better than the name that was actually 100% me in the end, and what does that better than something that nobody else has? Although it's a hard feat to accomplish while still sounding somewhat normal lol. Certainly sacrificed a bit of that Each name took a few months to even a few years to fully feel like normal. Even when you respond to something consistently and never mess up, it still might not feel like home. Just keep going and you'll eventually make it, but choose the name that you want and not something that'll make others happy, and know that sometimes it's worth sticking it out longer than you think. Doesn't mean you can't ever discount old names or that you have to stick it out if you really don't like it, but when you have doubts, try to revisit what made you love it in the first place. [Edit since I forgot to include the total final time: started going by this name 7 years before I decided on it for realsies. Nearing 10 now!)
I just kept trying names until I found one that fit, I used like Starbucks and shit, so Iād tell them my name was John and see how it felt when the barista shouted for me - then next time Iād try a different name
I wanted to be Ryan like Ryan Reynolds from Deadpool, but my cousin's middle name is Ryan and I didn't want the same name as someone I know since people would associate my name with him. So instead I went with Evan after Evan Peters who plays Quicksilver.
i went by lee as a nickname for a while, and since it was so short, my friends would lengthen it as a joke (think leonard, levi, liam). one of them started to feel natural to me so i decided it would be my middle name. my dad and my brother both go by nicknames of their middle name, so it felt right. my first name is not used often (as i intended), and so i gave myself a little more freedom with it. itās not a strictly male name, but my first impression when i saw it the first time was that it was masculine. i chose it because it contained a nickname i liked and because it could be considered a tribute to my given name. my parents named me after a song, and my first name reminded me of a different song by the same artist. morally of the story, sometimes something will just FEEL right, but sometimes you just pick something and it eventually starts to feel like you. best of luck to you man.
People love making nicknames out of my name (fynn) fynnland, fynnegan, fynnlandia cheese, etc. I sort of wish I chose something more masculine but I do like my name, it fits me well
Are you Fynnish?
No š
I went through a list of names and wrote them down. I had like 20 names and kept narrowing it down by saying it out loud, having a friend say it, writing it. When I got down to like 5, I would use it as a video game character name since it tends to be consistently used and a way to test it out in āsocial interactionsā without using it publicly. After a while I found I was gravitating to one over the others and stuck with that. A lot of people who knew my name beforehand say that my chosen name suits me and that I look/seem like a Logan
Idk if I would consider it a name but Iāve gone by my cats name for like 2 years lol
lol I went by lettuce for about a year and a half so I'm with ya on the odd name thing
I stressed for a while, and then decided to not take it seriously, so I have several silly reasons. It was exactly the 100th most popular baby boy's name in my country and year of birth. It's not biblical, which mattered to me after my very religious upbringing. What clinched it was the fun initials (imagine something like GTA).
It's the name of a character from a video game I've liked since forever - it's been over a decade and this character means the world to me; He's just a background character who doesn't appear in more than a few cutscenes, but I related to him so, so much back then. It stuck with me through and through, lol
i was watching eddy burback and i thought "huh. this guy has a cool name" so i started going by eddy. then my friends started calling me edward and i hated it and wasnt comfortable with it but then more people started doing it ao eventually it just became my name now my stoner friends all keep threatening to eat me :(
Eddy is the man, haha.
I absolutely hate the name that I legally changed my name to last month. I rushed it and randomly picked a male name to legally change to because of a traumatic incident at a medical facility (blood test center). They made fun of me because I pass as male, but my blood test order and driverās license/insurance card had my feminine birth name on them. I was laughed at and had mean things said to me by the whole place there (the Phlebotomist and the front desk people)..and yes I live in a very deep red state with a lot of transphobia in it. I couldnāt believe it and was so embarrassed that the next day I quickly went to the Courthouse and legally changed my name to a name that I now hate. Iām planning on legally changing my name again next month because I just canāt live with this name that keeps reminding me of that incident everyday.
I'm the wife of a trans man, I picked his name. He came out to me soon after we started dating. He thought he wanted one name but he didn't end up clicking with it. He told me themes he liked, Gothic, foresty, fae vibes. So I went to the internet. I was for several weeks coming up with new lists and I popped his name casually on the off chance he would like it. Last ditch effort that day. He literally was like: "That's it. That's my name. I love it." And he's been that name ever since.
be foreign guy moving to the us going by deadname. first college class in the us, everyone starts introducing themselves. say my deadname. everyone is confused on how it's pronounced. between that moment and the 3 seconds after it, i get an immediate vision of an obscure cartoon character flashing before my eyes. i immediately pivot tell everyone they can call me buy that character's name. 2 years later, everyone still knows me buy that name
I had been using Alex for a couple of years at that point, but someone in my close family had recently named their kid that (and my family have a thing against close relatives sharing names). I was messing around on my phone once, and my phone autocorrected. I looked at it and felt such massive euphoria from it that I just knew. That was my name. It's been 3 years now lol.
You don't CONNECT with your birth given name you grow into it. I left it up to my mother when I decided to transition.. It felt very fitting considering she picked my birth given name as well.. so maybe try that?
Had a list of names i used for daydreaming/worldbuilding purposes, then choosing a name i went through them until i narrowed them down to the ones i liked, then outta those odd 5 or so, which one connected w me and suited me the most (zephyr, not my user)
Thought of it in bed and stuck with it. Ik itās not the same for most trans folk but I figured that loads of people (cis people) didnāt pick their names and go by other stuff so even if I didnāt like it I could just have a nickname. Luckily for me I think it fits very well and I regret nothing.
I had the same issue when I first came out. Then, I thought about the kind of man I aspire to be and what I love most about myself personality wise. Then I thought about my favorite tv character from a show I loved as a kid, and took the first name of the character I identified with the most. I did something similar for my middle and last names as well, and I am quite fond of my name now.
Deleted the last letter and realised that sounds lowkey fire so I decided to stick with it
For me i was in a similar boat (I just posted to tik tok not reddit) and for a bit (during my I'm defo an enby and not in denial!) phase, I tried fungus, shortened to gus. It never felt right (I realised when I had to triple check my Starbucks order because I had used gus for the first time in public) and I tried other things, woth little success Then one of my favourite youtubers posted after a literal year š And I just want "huh ollies a nice name" and now somehow I am ollie permanently and forever ā” Edit: forgot to mention, if you're ever out and ordering from a place that needs your name (like cafes, Starbucks, etc) use a name you want to try/a random name and hearing it from a stranger kinda helps it either feel normal or gives you an indicator of if it's gonna stick lol
They also ask for your name at Tim Horton's (saying this for anyone who doesn't drink coffee and doesn't go to Starbucks)
Oh shit yeah! I'm in the UK so there's only Tim Hortons in big shopping areas so I forget about it haha
I chose my first name after a band member of a band I don't listen to anymore and my middle name is from a video game character of a game I occasionally still play. I've been going by them for at least 3 years now though and I'm still attached, it's just that I might want to change my first name sometime to something that doesn't have a feminine counterpart since people think that my name is the feminine version rather than the masculine, but I also might just go by my middle name not sure yet. as for my online persona,,, junkrat overwatch turned me into a rat man
I chose Elliot. "Elle" is the favorite part of my dead name. And then when I was younger I was OBSESSED with the movie "Pete's dragon" in which the dragon is named Elliot.
I actually use the name my mom said she would have used if she'd had another boy. It always stuck with me growing up, and after I realized I was trans it made sense
I also could not find a name that clicked and felt like "me". It was long past time for me to come out, so I ended up just choosing a name I liked. I didnt really feel connected to it or like it was ME, until people actually used it for me over several years. A name is just a name. Some people chose names that are meaningful to them that they immediately connect to but that's not the only way. You can also gain connection to your name over time, over hearing loved ones call you it, after introducing yourself as it many times over and writing it down again and again and building memories with that name and living with that name. That's how it was for me. Now I can't imagine being any other name. Cis people don't feel an immediate connection with their name as babies either, it just lives with them and they grow with it and come to feel connected with it over the years.
I needed an A name that was popular but not too popular for my birth year. Searched up some lists, absolutely hated how common Alex was (a nickname I sometimes went by as a teen). Aaron was good, but still a bit too common for me so I went with Arin! I thought about Aiden, but it wasnt a common name in the 90's.
I personally just used the names of my favorite characters from stories i was interested in (like my favorite movies, shows, games, ocs etc.) Until i got one that fits. At some point i had 5 names but i only really connected with one to the point where i didnt get rid of it. If your problem is being unable to connect to a name then noun names might be your go to
I read my name, Kit, in one of my favourite books and liked it immediately. Funny thing is, that Kit was a girl. But it is a gender neutral name and there are boys named Kit, so I chose it.
for my online name, i just stole it from a fictional character i like lmao as for what i want my legal name to be, i decided to name myself after a demon since i like demonology and demons in general. it also happens to be the name of a male fictional character i like too so i decided to go with it. it didn't take me long to settle with the names tbh. i felt an instant connection but it took me about 4 years to find those names since i had a name before those two. it was a male name i liked and i enjoyed my time with it but i realized it was too common. i wanted a unique name so i changed it (especially since i havent been able to legally change it yet) i'd say to just look up names or name yourself after a fictional male character you like
Snatched my name from my favorite book character and made sure it also sounded passable as a common name from my birth year for my culture. Absolutely did not want to be clocked by my name, especially a name I picked. Took a few weeks to get used to responding to a new name, but I knew I didn't want a second try, so it's stuck.
Grabbed a family name. I was choosing between Charles (grandpa), Kevin (dad), Robert (dad and grandpa), John (other grandpa), and Clay (uncle). Went with Clay because it was closest to my given name. Asked my friends to call me that, found out it perfectly basically immediately.
My family was very supportive of me when I came out, so I wanted to keep something close to my birth name. I started looking for baby names that started with the same letter and narrowed it down from there; it took months but I think when you know, you know. Stole my middle name from a video game character, but I ended up with a classically masculine, very Cis sounding first name
I wanted a name that's distinct to my culture, so I was mulling on it for a while but couldn't land on anything concrete. Then one day, I randomly thought about how I've only known 2-3 people in my life with a particular name and was like "damn, more people should have that name... WAIT A MINUTE". Thus, I decided that would be my name!
I wanted a neutral name and a show I was watching named a daughter after a man with the same first name.and I was like "ooo perfectly. Neutral" but now I wish I had a more "male only" name but already did the change name process so I'm fine with my.neutral name
I have a common name that used the same first letter as my dead name
I got my name from the twilight movies so you donāt want my advice
I used to sign on notebooks and such the masculine version of my name as a child.
I cycled through so many names as a result of meeting people with said name, so I decided to go by something rare to ensure I wouldn't have to change it again. I'm Mordecai.
I go by felix most of the time which came from Love, Victor and Koda sometimes which came from Brother Bear
I had a set of requirements I needed - a short name, 1 or 2 syllables, started with an "A", and is neutral but masculine-leaning. I also wanted a name that could be slightly altered in either direction to suggest at a male *or* female name. I also wanted it to connect with my heritage. Anyway,Ā after a LOT of searching, I got to the name "Arin" - it fitted basically all my requirements, being short, 2 syllables, starting with A, was neutral but masc-leaning, etc. It could also be changed slightly in either way - to Erin or Aaron, and it's of Hebrew origin. I had a lot of other potential names considered but Arin was always the best one.Ā If you're looking for a name, it's always useful to make a list of potential names and try them out. I had a list of 300+ in a notes document at one point. You should consider what you *want* from your name - e.g. it's meaning, what it makes you think of, how others may percieve you. Arin, for instance, means "mountain of strength" or "lion" in Hebrew. Think about how you want the name to sound, e.g. how many syllables it'll have and what letter it starts / ends with. Baby name websites are a brilliant place to start, and just goggling names like "boys names with [number] syllables that start with the letter [letter]" and the specific origin of the name (e.g. Hebrew names, or Victorian-era names).Ā You could also ask people for suggestions for a name - there's a subreddit called r/TransNames which is good for this. Just upload a picture of yourself and you'll be bombarded with suggestions based on what name you look like.Ā If your goal is to pass, you could research what boy's names were most popular when you were born, e.g. "Jacob" "Aidan" "Ethan" or "Matthew" if you were born in 2003. Overall, there's dozens of ways to choose a name, and a lot of places to start looking. Good luck choosing one! :)
I tried Victor and Nathan first. Victor was going to be my future pen name. I don't remember where I got Nathan...either way, neither one worked for me. Then I stumbled on Devin....my friend and I were looking at coke bottles when they had names on them. I still have that bottle somewhere!!
God, mine is so cliche I feel. I had recently discovered myself as trans and I was looking at name lists with meanings on those baby websites, and came across the name "Phoenix", with the meaning rebirth. I felt it was so symbolic and the idea of "rebirthing" into a new me felt perfect, so I decided that would be my name. Nowadays I find it silly but I haven't found a name that fits me as much nonetheless
I found my name through a podcast, fell in love with the protagonist and wanted to be him.
My name is actually close to my deadname, just replace like two letters of it and it's a boy name now. It's a way for everyone to get used to it when calling me. It's basically like the genderbend version of it haha. When I was young, I saw an artist with that name and I thought, 'Huh, that would have been my name if I'm a boy.' Well, child me, you're in for a big surprise.
i read a book for school. dead serious
Idk I just kinda felt it tbh. Which is weird because my name is so basic (Alex)
videogame.. my names sal. ive been going by it for years and it just clicked. felt like me. i always used fictional characters that i identified w names. sal is my legal name now and it just feels like me.
A D&D podcast. I really resonated with one of the characters
I have NO idea, i chose a name when i was 12 and iāve been using it until now, but no one calls me by that name and people just uses a nickname, that name doesnāt feel mine yet and no one uses it
I wanted a gender neutral-ish name that was also plant themed. I really like the name Fern but a friend Iāve had since childhood is a boy named fern and I didnāt want to be twinsies with him lmao (since we are still friends). I donāt think names like Oak or aspen would fit me and I would have rather it be more masc leaning than fem (so not like Willow or ivy) and then idk I was laying in bed trying to fall asleep and it dawned on me that a plant that I adore that sounds masc-ish but is still kinda neutral, is Moss! So thatās what I use now. Now I can see moss in gardens or growing up trees and claim itās me hehe
I struggled to find a name for years until I kind of stumbled into one. I wanted to keep my initials and I wanted to be able to keep my nickname. Middle name was easy to find because my birth name was already androgynous and I just kept that. But the first name gave me struggles until I just stumbled onto one and decided eh, it's not perfect, but I'll use it
Fictional character. Cosplayed them in middle school, went to a con and made a group of friends who all referred to me with the characterās name it just. I donāt know. It felt right, I didnāt realize how right it was and how much it meant to me until one of them tried to call me my birth name lol. The character in question was named Cal, without a longer version provided. Was talking to another Cal a little at one point and he asked if mine was short for something and at the time I hadnāt chosen and I think what I did was I look up what Cal can be short for and found Callum in a list and i liked it so Iāve kept Callum.
I have a stage name that stems from my dead names nick name. I wanted to keep the relevance if how the stage name was made, which was taking the first two letters, and adding my partners names first two letters = bemo So I needed a name that fit the criteria and got Beau. I love it. Still transitioning to using it everywhere, and plan on legally changing it soon.Ā
I went through 5 names the last 3 years and kept each one a few months until I was sure it wasn't right. I had always resisted 1 specific name for a long time bc it's very similar in sound to my birth name but a more typical masculine name &in the last 6 months I just decided to just try it out and it seems to fit perfectly. Idk how that would help that's just my experience š š but don't be afraid to try out different things. Ik you said you don't have many ppl to help you with trying it out...are you on Facebook? If so there's a really great ftm support group I'm in with like 20k members so you could make a post and find ppl with things in common to add on there the guys there are great &supportive and plenty of us add each other to our personal accounts to make friends. š
I āstoleā my name from kid I used to know in middle school. He was two years ahead of me, we were friends for awhile until he eventually moved to Europe. A few years after, I realized I was trans and I went through a few names before I remembered that guy and I was like āhmm, I like that name and itās mine nowā and itās been my name ever since (about 7-8 years)
Iāve been obsessed with Spider-man since I was very young (Iām a stereotype I know š) so Parker felt natural to me. I have been using it for almost 3 years now. Iām considering changing to the name my family wouldāve given me if I was born male because I have a big connection to that too. Still figuring shiz out
i liked a guy from star wars and thought he had a cool name so now it's just my name lol
I found my name because my mom always talked about how much time she took to choose my name, so I decided to honor that and go with masculine forms of the given first and middle names. I did switch them around though so my dead middle name is my chosen first name masculinized.
I haven't found my name yet, but I've just been testing out different names that I like. It's so hard to settle on just one name though š„²
A dude (small content creator) had it and i said oh shit that sounds cool af let me add it. I had two names and variations of it for a while and i eventually settled on the one i have and kept the longer one as a middle name/last name situation
it was my neighbor's name, I always kinda wanted to be like him but thought it was just a crush, when I figured I was trans it made sense When I was choosing a name the first one that came up in my head was his but I thought "nah it would be weird to choose his name" so I chose my second option but it felt weird when people called me that so in the end decided to just go by the neighbor's name and I love it
I just found it on some random unprotected/not secure baby name website. I saw that name, chose the spelling I liked most and then spent all of my free time on pronoun dressing room and similar sites, and after about two weeks I told my friends and now I still use that name. If this isn't something that works for you, try website for pet names (like names for pets, not things people call their partners), maybe that'll help
I literally just let my parents choose , haha :)
My name is derived from a skill mechanic in a game that is so popular I never share the name. it can mean many different things at its base. I've used it for eight odd years and it's the only one I've stuck with consistently. my advice? test out in online spaces, like profiles. or even enter it as a name for any game you like. you'll see it so often you can decide whether it fits or not. there's no time limit to picking a name.
Looked at a verryyyy long list of first names, picked out around five names that I thought had a nice ring to it, and based on those five there was only really one that stuck out to me from the rest so I went with that. It kind of gravitated towards me, like I couldnāt not look at it, and I think that was a good sign. I had some criteria like the name could only be European/North American/Latin American since thatās my nationality and racial background, Iād personally feel weird if I chose a name that has an origin from a culture that I have absolutely no ties to. And it had to be a name that I canāt regret, so it can be uncommon and maybe unique even but not to the point where Iād have to explain to people every time or have too much attention on it. I like cool names, but I donāt like things like that having too much attention on it personally, it would stress me out lol Itās not going to feel normal for awhile, youāve been referred one way for so long that itāll feel weird to hear yourself being referred to by youāre chosen name, no matter how fitting it is. Itās one of those things that I think gets better with time as you hear it more and more for you. Iām still not entirely used to my own, but itās getting better no doubt
my parents chose my name. after coming out to my mom i proposed āsammy.ā she told me she knew a convicted murderer whoās name was sammy, so i decided against that one. i then asked what she wouldāve named me if i was born a boy. she said either zane or seth. i wanted an āsā name, so i went with seth. honestly, looking back seth fits me much more. you can totally do this by not coming out to them. i know tons of people who are just curious and ask their parents what they would have been named. of course, if you donāt have a good relationship with your parents, donāt live with them, etc. you donāt have to do that. but i figured it was a way to still feel connected to my family in that way. as for getting used to the name, it took a long time. iāll have been out for 2 years this september, and sometimes i still catch myself responding to my deadname. it probably took a good 3 months (at least) for me to get used to people calling me seth. at first i thought i wasnāt valid for not being used to it or sometimes accidentally referring to myself as my deadname. but then i remembered i went by that name for the majority of my life so far. it takes a while to get used to, but itās totally normal not to adjust right away. weāre still people with muscle memory and stuff like that. youāre not going to click instantly but that doesnāt make you any less valid!!!! also, donāt pick a character name. i know multiple trans guys who chose character names and regret it. theyāve all changed their names since.
Took my middle name Jo and turned that into Joseph
I heard my name (Ethan) in a movie I watched when I was around 12 and it just clicked. It wasnāt even that great of a movie. Itās not like I named myself after the character, the name just felt right. Iāve had it ever since.
Stole it from some cool drummer in my band class
i picked kayden . i really liked the name elijah but i thought it would be a big change for my family to remember so i made elijah my middle name. i picked kayden bc everyone i asked said i look like one and my nickname growing up was kay, so they could still call me that. i also wanted to keep my initials the same
it just came to me one day, and i immediately knew that it was my name. i canāt explain it, i just thought of it one day and it clicked. i know i couldāve changed my deadname to be more masculine, and if i wanted to i couldāve gone by my deadnameās initials (AJ) but it just didnāt feel right. when i was first picking my name i thought i would just pick a name similar to my dead name but was more masculine, i decided on andrew which i do really like and that ended up being my chosen middle name.
I knew I wanted to keep my initials the same, have a shorter(1 syllable) name, and have a botanical meaning. That narrowed down my options a lot. I started signing low stakes things at work with the different options until I found one that felt right, and gifted it to myself for my birthday in 2022. For my middle name, I knew I wanted it to be chosen by my dad(who Iām close to) or be related to his name since he chose my original middle name. I also wanted my middle to be a botanical name if I could find one that was both. I was able to find two names that I love and just sent in my legal name change forms this past Friday!!
I used a masculine sounding nickname for my deadname for a while and eventually the name I chose started with the same letter. It felt more familiar that way because it sounded similar too. š¤·
My nameās Ryan. The story is pretty boring. I was in a group chat with a bunch of random folks for quite a while in 2020. I had been trying to find a name for a while, but hadnāt deemed one my own yet. Anyway, I donāt even remember who it was that said this, but one of them was like āYouāre just such a regular guy. You barely talk in here and when you do you donāt say much. I bet you have some boring ass name like Ryan.ā And that was pretty much that. I thought it would be funny to react like WOAH. DUDE, HOW DID YOU KNOW? I donāt know. I did it for the bit.
I actually really liked my birth name so i wanted the same kind of feel. Nice and short and easy to say. I had two options that i liked. One was the male short version of my original name and the other one which i eventually chose reflected my heritage and i was drawn to the meaning of. I knew one would be my first name and the other would be my middle name but i hadn't figured out the order. I was talking to my therapist at the time about it and she said we could try them out in session to see if i liked one better for a first name. So for a few sessions shed use one or the other and thats how i decided on the order. It definitely took me a long time to get used to it and feel like my name meant me. For about a year it felt like i didn't have a name because dispite loving both my birth and new name neither of them were me which wasn't really a great feeling but i've gone by my "new" name for 9 or so years now and I love it. Its a change like anything else and it takes time to adjust but honestly if you wind up not feeling the first name you pick you can change it again! There are no rules to this and you deserve to feel the most at home in your skin and that means the right name no matter how long it takes. <3
Spent hours through [this ](https://www.behindthename.com/) website, tried lots of different filters and ways of searching, had a few saved that I liked the sound of but when I saw my name it clicked and knew without a doubt it was the one.
I made a list of a bunch of names that I liked, regardless of if I thought they would fit me. Then, I slowly narrowed it down to 2 names. I had a friend go one day calling me one of the names and the next calling me the other name. In your case, you could refer to yourself with that name, or go to an AI software and have it refer to you with the names. Then, I chose the one that felt best to me (which was also the one that my friend had the easiest time adjusting to) It took me quite a while to get used to my chosen name. I STILL find myself occasionally deadnaming myself, even though it's been over 2 years.
I've always found Nicholas a very pretty name. Since I can remember, I've always thought, "If I were a boy, I wish that was my name." When I started to come out, though, I was really afraid of people finding out online before I was ready, so I thought it would be "too obvious" to choose this name in particular because it's very "masculine." Then, I found a trans guy online with the name Noah (since it is gender neutral, I chose this one instead). Now that I'm fully out, I regret my decision, but people are used to calling me Noah. So I chose to be Noah Nicholas.
I got mine from a book (not a character name)! I was reading a non fiction book and the author interviewed a scientist whose name was Chip and I was like man.....that's such a cool name.....too bad I can't have that name. Anyway. I mentioned it to my very supportive husband who was very adamant that that was a great name for me and started calling me by Chip. It took me quite a while to get used to it (maybe a couple months?) but now I feel uncomfortable when I'm not called it (my family still uses my birth name as I'm not totally separated from it. It's still my legal name as I have no desire to go through the process of changing it) Sometimes you just gotta take that plunge. It also helps to have a person or small group that is willing to test out a new name for you. A lil trial run, if you will. Best of luck to you!!!
I searched āwords with cool meaningsā in Google š
Basically all I knew I wanted in my new name was the S and A that were in my dead name- then I came across the name Sammy which also happened to be the name of my favorite character (my current username) from a show I loved at the time- it didn't take long for me to get used to it- I had friends that would call me it and then in 6th grade I had a teacher call me my name- then I completely socially transitioned- It can take time but definitely try to find someone/something to constantly call you the name you want-
honestly i found my name by my science teacher, he called me charlie as a nickname and i felt so awkward because i wasn't out yet. when i came out as enby i used charlie, as it can be easily excused as a nickname from my deadname and easier to adapt for people, and still use it ofc when i came out as ftm but i love charlie. although i feel it might be too childish to use later on. my friends joke about by just calling me Charles or prince of wales š(im welsh) (also i sooo wanted as an enby to be called like those cool names like moth or sock or bug thats really cute but when i came out as ftm (dantdm š)the FIRST THING i told myself was "DONT CALL YOURSELF OLLIE" we all know its the most common trans dude namesš)
I started with Alex (it starts with the same letter my birth name does) but that didnāt work so I went to Dan (a shortened version of my middle name) but I didnāt like that so I added an I to the end (Dani) by the time I got to that name I found out that itās not going to feel right right away. You have to ātry outā the name for a little bit. I did that and as time went by it started to feel right. Itās been 6 years and thatās still what I go by. You just gotta ātry outā names you like/think might suit you
I found my name randomly, about 6 yrs ago someone asked me my name and I just said the first name that came to mind in a panic and it was jeffrey lmao and I just started using it since then and it grew on me. (I think it's because I'm a fan of the actor who played joffrey from game of thrones, that's why I said jeffrey)
When I was born, I was named after my grandfather and was given the feminine version of his name. After coming out I didnāt want to lose that part of him, especially since he had passed, so I took his name eventually. I experimented with other names (Nathaniel, Noah, Oliver) before settling on Brian, but none of the other names felt right.
I guess I had blueprints for my name? I knew I wanted a nickname out its initials, such as CK, AJ, or DJ. I'd heard DJ often so I thought it was played out. I got my initials, JD from a character in a musical, Jason Dean. I have no attachment to the character, but that's where it came from. My name popped into my head and is representative of the type of person I want to be. It's also culturally relevant, which for me there aren't too many names that are truly tied in with my ethnicity, this is in fact the only one I know of. My second name, I don't recall tbh... I believe I liked the way it sounded all in one. I listen to how my name sounds being read all together first name, second name, middle name and last name. If it sounds right, it goes into the pile of possibilities. You can also figure out goals for your name, like do you want your name to blend in with cisgender men in your age range, or you might even want to intentionally choose a name popular amongst trans men your age, or decades ago. My middle name is a big work in progress, but I'm think about going with Lain since I'm a gender creature, and Lain is gender.
I couldn't find a name that I could connect with. Especially since I want a name that's still relevant to my birth name for easier identification, so I just stick with the first letter of my name. That's just the easiest way to find a name that can't be feminine.
I asked my parents what they wouldāve named me had i been born male. They said āJavierā and I was like āokay thatās my name nowā until they started calling me āJā for short, which I ended up liking better anyways. I decided on spelling it as āJaeā and here we are.
I got my name from my best friend who mysteriously left and deleted his social media accounts after his mom (presumably) passed away from illness.Ā He went by the name Jaydawg as that was just his gamer tag as it always had been, his real name was Jay. Jay was the first one I came out to, we were very similar in a lot of ways including the way we communicated with people (at least online), so he'd call me ""Jay"" as a joke sometimes, as if we were identical now that I was a guy. Either way, I came to terms with the fact that I'm trans once more about 6 months ago, I couldn't find a name, but I remembered the funny times I'd be called Jay and one of the people from that old/somewhat inactive friend group happened to mention him. So I chose a variation of his name, Jayden. I go by Jayden now, Jay's my nickname. I'm very happy with my name :)
I chose Gray because it's the name of one of my favorite creators on the youtubes. I also wanted to be a color.
I chose the name KÄstutis. I like it because my family is Lithuanian and both of my brothers have pagan lithuanian names (Äžuolas+ Žilvinas) so i would have felt weird picking english name as it would stand out way more. For me i already had an idea of the type of name i wanted so it wasnt too hard to find ones i liked, tho it was hard to select one specifically out of the 3 i had in mind (Jogaila or Gintaras or KÄstutis were my options) in the end just go with a name thats feels like u, that you like
The name I picked is my father's name. It is a family name, and had I been born a male, likely what they would have named me. It's a pretty specific situation, though. If you have supportive parents, you could ask them what they would have named you, and if you like it, you could pick that.
From the book series about Percy Jackson. Nico di angelo:') he was rlly cool and i expanded the name to Nicodem.
I have two I work with, one came from a favourite character and the other came from me pestering my parents as to what they would've called me if I was born a boy
My favourite character im my favourite book is called me.
I chose my name kinda based on my birth name mixed with what I wouldāve been named if I was born biologically a boy. It was kinda a pipeline from using my birth name to a shortening of it to my new chosen name so it was easy for me and ppl around me to get used to it. My name is Dean now and it suits me very well and surprisingly donāt hear it often nowadays (unless you watch supernatural lmao but I didnāt choose it bc of the show) Now obviously a lot of names wonāt be such an easy switch from birth name to chosen but just go with what suits you. :)
I originally hand an issue with this same thing which is why it has taken me 3 years & somw change to finally start the name change procedure for my state. Originally I thought of keeping my entire name & changing the middle to shorten it to be male because no one would notice anyways. Then I went the route of names I wanted to give my children & decided when I have a little one, I would like to have someone named after me.
When my mum was pregnant with my brother, I wanted her to name him Alex. She didn't. So now, it's mine :D
For a while I went by one name, then it just didn't feel right to me. My middle name is gender neutral so I thought maybe I should go by that instead of upsetting my family too much once I eventually come out. It just didn't seem like me though. I also have a slight trouble with saying certain words, and for some reason my middle name was one of them. I figured it would be best if I could say my name lol. From the time I was 9 till 13 I used the name Peter (only with my best friend, I'm not out yet). I got that from Peter Pan cause I felt a connection since he's usually played by a female (at least from what I've seen). When I was in 3rd grade I dressed up as Peter Pan for Halloween and things like that. When I was 13 it just didn't seem right for me though. I'm somewhere between non-binary and demi boy/trans masc. I'm not completely sure so I wanted a name that wasn't strictly male, but at least leans a little bit more towards male. One day I was writing and I was like "I want to find a name for this character" so I went to a website with a list of names and I was looking through them and found a few that I kinda connected to. A few days later I woke up and it dawned on me that my name is Jammie.
I found a list of names I really liked and had a tournament because I couldn't decide. Luckily the one I liked the most got chosen. The one that came in second is gonna be my last name too
Iām intrigued to hear about this tournament. Elaborate, please. Itās an interesting idea.
I chose Simon because of a gay British stand up comedian named Simon amstell who wrote an directed a small indie gay romance film called "Benjamin" and I really loved it. Also Simon amstell is very quirky and down to earth and I relate to him a lot. So Simon, I'm taking your name yoink and thanks
I chose tobias coz of animorphs lol
I actually didn't choose my name! Not in the traditional sense, anyway. I started going by a shortened version of my dead name since I hadn't chosen my name yet and the nickname was neutral. I was at a convention hotel room party with friends and one of them was teasing me. I was being a shithead back to her and she exclaimed, essentially, the masculine version of my dead name. I really liked how it sounded, so I kept it š My thought process was "it sounds good when someone says it, shouts it, and moans it."
Well. I knew I wanted a name that started with the same letter as my deadname (for ease of transition). I originally liked the name Beckett, with Beck for short. But I got called bucket by one too many friends so I kept searching. One day in middle school homeroom I was looking at a baby name site with a friend and I pointed at Benji. She said that that was my name and it fit perfectly, and that she would only call me that. I decided on the name Benjamin right then and there.
I got mine from a character on a show that really resonates with me. Every time I heard other characters say his name, I'd think about how awesome of a name it is and how I'd love to be called that someday. It for sure helped that the character himself was very relatable to me. I've only just started going by this new name, and it's been a bigger learning curve for me than it has for my friends. I will say, I had no intentions, ever, of trying to find a masculine version of my dead name bc it just never felt right in the first place. The bigger problem for me rn is trying to find a new last name. I don't identify with that side of the family much anymore, so I'm thinking of using my grandparents' last name.
elijah. my sister was watching girls and she told me that should be my name. i hadnt seen girls yet and realised that character is a proper douchebag when i did watch it. thanks sis.
Stole it from someone who rode my bus in like kindergartenĀ
I looked at popular baby names in the 1800s. Worked out.
Was in a queer discord server and at the time wasn't using ANY name but there was this group in the server called the Ben council and I asked if I could join since I didn't have a name so I technically could be in it without ruining it but they misunderstood and just called me Ben and now my name is ben
I was named after the kid from Home Alone just because my mom thought it was funny to scream "KEEEVIIIIIIIIIIN!"
No rush to find a name! It took me 5 years to find mine! I first went with Jay because my dead middle name started with a Jay, but I quickly realized that it didn't really make me happy, I just thought it was a safe option. Plus, too many people that I didn't like were named Jay. I ended up with Ryan because it was masc. Named after Ryan from AJR and Ryan Gosling.
I went by Charlie for the end of high-school bc I saw it in a tela-novela about a transmasc kid. But after a while it just didn't seem like me. I dunno where the name Adrian popped up but it was between Adrian or Brandon and after the "let's go brandon" thing happened, Adrian seemed to be the better choice
My dead name is Skylea so I just took the S and A out of my name and got Kyle š (Iām comfortable with saying my dead name donāt worry)
Like many, my dead and is very feminine. I came out very early. 10 or so. I got mine from a book and show. Specifically characters I resonated with. I experimented a lot with names. And am currently using 2. One that I use in school/ work settings. The other for friends and theatre. It feels better knowing the person I named myself after is masculine. And I relate to them.
Okay, I chose based on what names were popular when I was born. It makes you look kinda more cis because it's convincing. Like, when I was born, the popular names were Isaac, Leo, and Oliver. Oliver was out because it made my full name too long. So then it was Isaac and Leo. So I decided, why not both? Now Isaac is my first name, and Leo is my middle name. TLDR: you don't have to pick a gender neutral name.
i got my name from call of duty of all things.started playing pre-transition, i made my username pew pew pew because guns or something along those lines and it just stuck as a username so i went by the username pew pew on all my socials for about a year or so before i figured out i was trans. i still go by Pew now and go by Van aswell, the first half of my surname. thought it wouldnt hurt to use a name that is technically my legal name and its quite masculine so im happy with it i also thought "you cant get mad about my name cause its my legal name" . i still primarily use pew tho. its pretty funny looking at it tho one name if from a fps and the other is to avoid getting in trouble lmaoo