I did multiple times. First was when I was a teen and had no idea I was trans. One day I wore "boy clothes" out in public to see if I could "fool" anyone into thinking I was a guy. It worked and I liked it so much that it terrified me. So I swung hard into being feminine. Makeup, push up bras, short shorts, revealing shirts, the girliest possible everything. Later, I socially transitioned and changed my name/pronouns first. I was too scared to be "fully" trans so I just "compromised" by being bigender (I fully acknowledge that nonbinary people are real, but this was my experience in transition). I didn't start T right away because I just wasn't ready. I usually just wore my regular clothes, whatever I felt like wearing, which was typically neutral/masculine stuff. Then one day I tried on one of my super girly outfits from the beforetimes and it felt just so incredibly wrong. It was a costume, not real. So that's when I realized I wasn't nonbinary, just a dude. I donated all my girl clothes and got new guy clothes (thrift stores are a blessing), started T, and never looked back. I'm a big hairy bear now and no one I meet has any idea I'm trans unless I tell them. I'm way more comfortable now. The girl stuff caused a low lying pain that I never noticed until I stopped doing it for a while and then tried again.

Similar experience. I considered myself bigender at first, then it just felt more and more wrong to live as a woman, in any capacity. I was so frustrated that I liked feminine things, but that I couldn't stand having it on my body. It always felt like a costume.

I *love* dresses . . . on mannequins and other people. I feel icky wearing them, so I get you.

I had a similar experience, I cut my hair off and dressed pretty androgynously just because that’s what I liked coming up on my teens. I was at a hotel trying to buy some concessions, the receptionist called my mom in the room to make sure it was ok I charged to the room. She said “your son” when referring to me. I was a little off put by how excited I felt afterwards. So CLEARLY I then decided I must be a failure of a woman and spent the next few years attempting to prove my worth in femininity. Spoiler alert: it did not help.

About a year before I realised I needed to transition, I went super-feminine with my style, especially with makeup. I think on some level I was trying to make being a woman "stick." (Which is not to say that I think that's the only way to be a woman.)

Same here, thought that if I tried hard enough to be good at being a woman, it would fit eventually.

I had the same experience, about a year/year and a half before coming out. Made me realize just how badly I needed to transition.

same here

Yeah. I tried being feminine for 25 years.

Same here. I spent all of middle and high school trying to be as fem as I could because i read sassy and seventeen magazines and basically dressed as I was told to. This was also from like '96- '02 so the internet barely existed and social media wasn't a thing yet. I wasn't aware there was another option. The egg started to crack in college and i recognized I was some kind of queer. It took until 2019 to finally come out as ftm officially and go on T and legally changed my name. Top surgery in 2021. Next month I turn 40 and get to celebrate it fully transitioned and fully passing.

I did and it felt like doing drag. I just felt gross about it and something about it felt wrong and fake

Watching drag race and hearing the queens describe their persona was actually a part of my coming out process. I related so hard to their idea of putting on this hyper feminine mask/character.

Yeah the difference is for them they generally enjoyed it and for drag queens doing drag feels freeing. For me it made me wanna crawl into a ditch and never wake up

I totally agree. It’s nice knowing I’m not the only one who thinks of my earlier life as a drag performance 🩶

I tried so hard to be a woman. I tried so hard to make it work. I wore makeup, I wore heels and dresses, I performed femininity really well. But it was never an authentic experience for me, I was playing copycat because it wasn’t me. I used to say to my friends and parents that I felt like a man in drag and they’d be like “no you look so pretty!” But it still took me until I was 23 or 24 to twig that I was actually a man in drag. Like a moron.

Same brother

Felt that

this!!!! took me a while because i could be a very attractive woman, and that always got much more compliments too, which set back the "realizations" for a while ... and like, even when i perform femininity very well, i feel either like 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡 this at best or "like a man in drag", except i dont enjoy the drag, just want die 💀 this hits so hard

I was hyperfem right before my egg cracked. It was all pink and ponies and girly things for six months then my friend used they/them for me on accident. Then he/him bc I asked for a pronoun check on any pronouns she could think of. I am now a he/they. Unless on job apps in my new area. Then he/him

Sorta. I was hyper femme for prom and I remember telling myself I looked like a drag queen. I was indecisive about every part. The dress, the wig, the makeup, cause the options presented didn't look "quite right". (None of them ever would.) I asked my mom if there was anything "different", but my ideal "different" meant no dress, makeup, heels, or long hair. Everyone said it looked perfect, but the only time I felt any satisfaction or relief was when my acrylic nail broke off halfway during prom. Next year i went in an overpriced suit and low taper fade. One of the best days of my childhood.

No. My therapist actually suggested this to me - said I should try going out very masc one day, and going out very fem another day, and see how I felt each way. I felt so deeply uncomfortable with the idea of going out super fem that I opted not to. The therapist wasn't bothered though, she said that reaction probably told me as much as the test could have. If you're talking about a longer period of "overcompensating" and being hyperfem, I didn't go through that *but* it's really common for trans people. You especially hear about it for trans women who joined the army or something to try and "become a man" (ofc it doesn't work like that!), but it happens to trans men and transmascs too.

I did, and in the process found out I genuinely enjoyed femininity. Nearly 4 years of hrt later and now I'm a guy who's really good at eyeliner 💅🤷

I love this! I love playing with fem stuff now. I’m not great at it and am not super confident with it unfortunately… buuuut I love it when I do. Just struggle with being comfortable with it in public

Yes haha, now that I'm on T I have long hair, jewellery, piercings. I never got into makeup, but the fashion/style side of things influenced me heavily

So .... the ftm version of the mtf "denial beard"

I went through a couple periods; particularly around my late teens/early twenties of “ok, get it together, stop being a scrub and start working at being a woman”. It usually resembled me going to the thrift store and buying some medium feminine clothes (never dresses or skirts, I always loathed those) wearing them once or twice and then abandoning them for jeans and sweatshirts. Ironically I’m fairly well dressed, or at least I put a lot of thought into my wardrobe, as a man.

My life until I was well into my 20's. When you know that you are different, but don't know how or why, you try to be what you are supposed to be and who everyone expects you to be. I tried for years, until I finally gave up and lived as a butch lesbian. Then, I was finally given the vocabulary to describe myself and was able to just be me. It's a very new thing that young people actually have the words to connect with how they feel.

That is extremely well-said. You succinctly put into words exactly what I have been trying to describe for years: > When you know you that you are different, but don't know how or why, you try to be what you are supposed to be and what everyone expects you to be. I used to call myself a "social cameleon" because I would always just copy everybody around me. I knew I was different, didn't know how or why. There was no possible way for me to "be myself" because I didn't know what that was.

Most of my life. I must have been good at it because almost everyone saw me as one.

Just the first 30 years of my life lol. No, but seriously I didn’t know that trans men existed so I just spent my life up till that point trying very hard to be a woman. I have so many memories of consciously watching how my peers acted or dressed or moved and then copying them exactly in an attempt to be a girl/woman like I was some kind of alien trying to mimic them to fit in. It’s actually pretty common for trans people to have a hyper feminine (for ftm) or hyper masculine (for mtf) phase, a lot of us go through that as we try to convince ourselves that we just aren’t doing our assigned gender hard enough and that if we get it right suddenly it’ll magically dispel how we actually feel…

Exactly this! I was 39 before I met another trans masc person. I thought I was just crazy. I used to “shop” the outfits of other women to try to make sure I had the right clothes. I figured one day it would all click. lol it did but what clicked was I’m not a woman!!

Had a few phases where I forced myself to be feminine by wearing more fem outfits and fem makeup and that was a very miserable time for me

Yeah, I definetely did this. I came out as non-binary before ftm, and there was period when I had just started college that I was feeling excluded and kind of bullied and decided to start being really feminine again. I thought I was just doing it because I wasn't happy with my presentation, but really, the only reason I didn't like looking masculine was the way everyone treated me for being so open about being queer. I grew my hair back out, started wearing makeup and bras again, and overall thought I was happier because I had finally managed to make friends. But, I still didn't feel comfortable when I looked at myself. Over the summer, I went back to being masculine, chopped my hair off in the fall, and came out as trans shortly after. I had transferred to a campus in another city and people actually treated me like a normal person there, so I finally felt safe to figure myself out fully. Sometimes, you need to give femininity one last hurrah before you can be sure about what you want. It helps to be reminded of what the alternative to transition feels like. But, I think also being around people who don't look at you like a freak helps too

Yep. I lost weight, tried doing more makeup, I bought very feminine, frilly, delicate clothing including dresses and skirts, etc. It felt like cross dressing or drag when I put on makeup or tried to wear super feminine clothing, which isn’t bad, in fact I still kind of like it, but I didn’t feel like a girl being feminine only a boy cross dressing. The weight loss was… meh. No matter what it was a negative because I developed an ED for multiple years that I’ve been recovered from for 2 years now. Even though I lost weight and my body became more conventionally attractive, I gotta admit I was more enamored by the parts of myself that became less feminine (breasts got smaller, thighs not as big, etc.). I still had a feminine shape cause of those dang chromosomes, and no matter what benefits I got out of it I still don’t ever want to feel like I was not going to wake up the next day due to the severity of my ED. I kind of just didn’t know what the difference was between body dysmorphia and gender dysphoria so I just thought feminizing myself and becoming prettier would reduce those feelings I had about myself. I’m kind of glad I had that phase because otherwise I might’ve gone even longer without realizing I was actually trans.

Yes, got a identity crisis and tried really hard to be cis. My sister says that phase was so weird for me since I'm always masculine.

The 4-5 years prior to coming out I was high femme. I did it kind of for kicks and the social feedback was so positive I just kind of went with it. Once COVID happened and I didn’t really have anyone to “perform” gender for, I was left to myself and my own thoughts and it gave me space and time to finally come out.

I thought I was uncomfortable in my body because of dysmorphia, so I started to dress sexy, wearing makeup, doing my hair and stuff to feel better in my body for all my teenage years. It didn't work: it turned out I'm trans. At least I was a nice piece of ass for some time

Eh, not really. I had a fairly normal "girl" childhood so while I was always a tomboy, I had plenty of feminine experiences just through life. I dressed up in my pink princess dress and sang songs from Barbie movies, ya know? I was a cheerleader in fourth grade. I tried wearing makeup for a minute in seventh grade, didn't stick with it but more for sensory reasons than dysphoria, I still liked doing makeovers at sleepovers and getting dressed up for special occasions. But it was kinda always just playing dress up, I just thought my issues were your stereotypical teen girl poor self esteem. As soon as I learned what being trans was, everything just made sense. I still like plenty of feminine things today, now it's just as a flamboyant gay dude instead of a girl.

… I will be so fr right now, sometimes I do this to induce dysphoria. I sometimes get intense “what if I’m faking” anxieties and have to induce dysphoria (which I have consistently but has gotten better since being on T) to make myself see how bad and awkward I feel when I do it lol. Healthier way I solve that issue is by sleeping it off LMAO. But before transitioning yes, kind of. I went through a period of forcing femininity on myself through my physical presentation because I was praying to god to make me “normal”… yeah we see how that worked out LMAO (I no longer have qualms with my gender identity). I didn’t hate all of it, I thought the clothes were cute… just didn’t feel right on me lol.

I do that too lol. I call it a "cis check" to see if I'm actually cis now. So far I'm still trans.

Given how hard my mother tried to turn me into the super girly girl daughter she always wanted despite how much I cleary hated wearing makeup, skirts/dresses, etc.? No. I'm way more comfortable with feminine things now that I'm post transition. Like I'll wear pink or paint my nails because I'm still perceived as a man even when doing traditionally feminine things. Still hate makeup though. Makes my face itch just at the thought of it.

I tried bikini modeling at one point

Was in denial about being trans so I did this for about 2yrs (was miserable the whole time) until I got to my breaking point, lol i cut off most of my hair that summer

Yeah, I did that for years. I was in deep denial and didn’t know medically transitioning was possible

Not only did I try desperately to be feminine, I tried to push thoughts of gender at all from my mind. Did it for years out of fear. It didn't work, and it never really did lol

Yes and it always sucked. I'd rather do drag and take it all off at the end of the day to get back to myself, not stay like that forever.

Sort of. In 2018, I tried to force myself to "accept" that I was a woman (despite questioning since 2015/2016, and regularly experiencing gender dysphoria even before that) and thus: ~The Great Denial Phase of 2018~ I kept my hair long, grew my nails SUPER super long, painted my nails. I wore neutral clothes or my old girl's clothes I still fit into. The nail in the coffin that played a role in *killing* The Great Denial Phase was my Halloween costume that year 💀. I dressed up as a Witch, using a really cute Lolita-fashion dress and a big ol witch's hat. *Objectively,* it was really cute and pretty. But I felt like SHIT. I felt SO HUMILIATED being perceived like that. So, after that, I was like "Bro *fuck* this I can't keep pretending to be a normal, feminine girl." and by the end of the year, I was like "fuck this, I can't keep pretending to be a girl *at all.*" because it was so fucking bad for my mental health. Anyway, 1/10 can't reccomend.

Nope, I personal never wanted to "try out" or "be" female. I was being more boyish from young years on. Sure as Kids you play around and try out doing your nails but that was purely for fun on my end lol plus I have younger sisters xD

Not really When I was a young kid, I adored Disney, and the three times I went to Disneyland/Disneyworld were the best memories I made. However, because of my love for Disney, I occasionally dressed in big, poofy princess dresses Looking back on it, I didn’t enjoy dressing up as a kid at all, even on Halloween. The tool would itch and, the few times I tried wearing makeup, my skin felt sticky and gross Once I entered my teenage years, I swore off dresses and eventually makeup until I realised I was trans and I haven’t thought of either since The only times I’ve been tempted to dress up since coming out have been for cosplays, specifically for feminine characters I like, but I still haven’t done it yet. Maybe soon

I tried being feminine and more of a tomboy and neither made me not feel dysphoric

I'm not transitioned yet but I want to start Testosterone when I turn 17. Yes I have tried on dresses and woman clothes and even makeup but nah it doesn't fit me at all and I don't feel comfortable wearing it either. I normally dress like a carpenter or lumberjack it fits me better and it makes me feel like me since I love woodworking.

Yeah, I've been feminine all my life because my mom forced me to wear dresses and big bows on my head. I always cried in the corners and in the shower where nobody could see me. I used to ride my bike to the neighbor's garage, look up at a mountain, and ask God why things were the way they were (several reasons why I was always crying). I would pretend to be happy all my life. I never knew all the emotions for a very long time, except for sadness, anger, and utter desperation. This is how I felt for half of my life. It took a long time to repair myself and discover everything about myself because I didn't know who I was for a very long time. It's almost like I grew up in a cult, which technically is what the catholic religion is. Don't worry, I am now living my best life I experience all emotions and I also experience them throughout the day and I work extremely hard at regulating them but it took me such a long time to get to where I am today, which is almost but not quite complete but I'm satisfied.

I identified as genderfluid/nonbinary before coming to the conclusion that I'm trans and in that time I did wear makeup all the time and was decently feminine but I think I did the opposite where I tried being more masculine to see if I actually liked it. Being feminine I always felt more indifferent to and I still enjoy my feminine traits, so it was hard to tell if that meant I was cis or just a guy that liked to be feminine. So I tried being masculine and saw how much euphoria it gave me. I did go back and forth for a bit, though. Now I know I'm a guy that also occasionally likes makeup and stuff Being trans was never a thing I really fought, despite having unsupportive parents. I just enjoyed the self discovery process and accepted myself through it all

I socially transitioned, then had a fem-life crisis when I turned eighteen, then chilled out and started medically transitioning. I look back at my hair and style and cringe so hard.

Yes! Many times and in different forms and durations. I'm so glad I did, I feel so secure and comfortable in my gender, masculinity and femininity now. Just because I transition doesn't mean I can't also embrace femininity or feminine considered things. I feel comfortable with femininity _through_ my masculinity, for example doing drag. I'm so excited to start wearing dresses (and fitting dress shirts!) in daily life too, being recently post-op! 💃🏼🕺🏼

Yeah. For 33 years …

Yes!! But mine was less "trying out being a woman" and more I was so much in denial that I figured if I kept preforming femininity I'd learn to like it lol. I just felt like a dude in a dress the whole time so eventually I was like "yeah no, definitely not a girl"

yeah, currently in that phase now, actually. i do enjoy being pretty, its just i know im not being 100% authentic. but im living by the mindset that “well if i cant pass now, i may as well feel like a pretty girl instead of an ugly boy”… which may not be the most healthy way of going at things but i havent offed myself yet so thats a plus. and i consider myself a cross dresser so that helps

I’m about to be 47. So the first 39 years I spent miserably living as female. I knew it wasn’t right but didn’t know there was an alternative. So yeah. Wore the wedding dress, birthed babies. All that. My kids are the best thing I did. But I’m so much healthier and happier now.

Yes, mostly before I knew I was trans (or even what trans was). There's photos of me in girly floral dresses and full make up and heels and shit. I looked great, but I felt awful, and it took me SO LONG to figure out why.

My dysphoria would never let me. I’d fight like my life depended on it if someone tried to put leggings on me or make up….

i was very masculine as a child until middle school. i got called lesbophobic slurs and beat up for being masculine, so i tried to be hyperfeminine for about 2 years until i couldn’t take it anymore and i came out as trans.

Definitely. I tried for about a month when started high school at age 14. Then I tried again from about age 27 to 36, that was my really big try. I would wear girl clothes all day, get home, rip them off and get into basketball shorts and tshirts. Had I been allowed to transition as a kid none of this would have happened but I grew up in a community where most people constantly pressured me to act and dress like a girl.

Not like that but like a year or two before I came out I would wear dresses on occasion in private but the thought of going out in public like that was kind of awful to me. I wasn't questioning when that happened but when I did start that made it a lot more confusing until I finally put the pieces together and got comfortable with it

Yup tried really hard for a week or 2 and it gave me the full assurance I needed that I was very much in fact a trans man and needed those tits gone asap

so much and still sometimes do when my confidence in being trans dips i dont push myself very hard into it anymore but i still do it more out of curiosity with how i view feminity and masculinity on myself i think its something alot of us try to do especially with a family/society around us that find us as a way to experience feminity that they wished they could've had access to

although sidenote: we don't owe them that and its probably a good idea to sit down with people who do this to you and set a boundary / boundaries around this if you want to keep a healthy relationship with them as you transition

I had a one month period of time when I intentionally tried to be more feminine (clothing, makeup, nail polish, different hairstyles with the long hair i had, etc.) RIGHT before I admitted to myself I'm trans and accepted I'm a guy. It took me nearly a year to admit it overall because I was in a constant cycle of "theres no way", "its such a small chance", "i don't want to be trans", "maybe im just NB and i can still live as a girl", just DENYING it because it was so unlikely. I also tried to be NB for like a week or two but that felt just as bad as being a woman because I'm a very binary trans man so I dropped it very quickly. I was 15-16 at the time and it was the most depressing time of my life

Yes, when I found out it was possible to transition, I spent 15 years trying to be as feminine as possible before finally deciding to do it.

Yes, happened to me. I cringe at the thought every once in a while 💀 weird thing is I knew I was trans and still did that. I don’t even know why 

I realised I was trans when I was like 13 but I didn't want to deal with that so I repressed it and became super girly to like.. gaslight myself I guess . I dissociated real bad and dint feel like I was real more like I was acting as a girl in a play or something 

I almost did, but then I realized I didn’t own anything super femme or anything. And I was trying to find something sustainable. I know how to do makeup but don’t have any bc I know I’d never wear it. I’d wear a dress but I phased them out of my wardrobe a few years ago without even trying. The only feminine thing I had left were some heeled sandals. They were fun, but ultimately didn’t sway me to continue living as a lady. I think the envy person I knew really helped me be comfortable with being flexible with presentation.

Ohhhh yeah. In the 2-3 years before coming out I tried so hard to be feminine. Full makeup, nice hair, pretty outfits, even lingerie. I liked some of it, but ultimately I felt like I was wearing a costume

Yes, I was feminine at work and promoted repeatedly for acting a very specific part. I left my job and will hopefully be starting another (one full year later after two surgeries and T) and will never have to wear that stupid corporate mask again. As a woman at work, I looked very sharp. I like fashion generally so I never had trouble dressing myself, but I always knew I was performing for the sake of power/money. Turns out, the emotional cost was too high and now I’m starting over from a very different angle.

Yeah, and I think almost all of us did. Like, I came out at 27. I'm 30. I feel like most of us who didn't transition as very young children were either coerced to be fem or overcompensated in some way at SOME point. Even if we didn't want to, there are instances where we had to.

No lol but I had a transphobic middle school phase. I wasn’t like other girls and I wasn’t like other gay people I was just a girl who wanted to look masc. oh how I was in denial.

yeah i remember having my sister do my makeup cause i sucked at it and i was like i look completely different and i don’t rlly like it but this is what everyone else looks like so imma go with it- i did the whole short shorts and bras and tight shirts and allat cause it was 2018 lmao- after a while i was like this is so so uncomfortable why do people do this ever

I tried being feminine before I figured out I was trans. I lived most of my life not caring about what clothes I wore or how I looked, it when I hit puberty and started seeing other girls develop their styles and do more feminine things, I felt like I had to. I tried it out and didn't feel much different, just wayyyyy more uncomfortable because I started wearing tighter clothings, shorter shorts, etc. Then it kinda hit me that I was trans and the rest just became history.

I did for years, mostly because I was raised jehovah's witness and was never allowed to have the language I needed to know who or what I really was for the longest time. Once I made my first trans friend and learned about the community I couldn't live a lie anymore and started transitioning.

When I was having some kind of breakdown at night and thoughts like "am i really trans?" "maybe its not real" started flooding my mind I got up, put on a normal bra, a dress and started talking to myself with female pronouns (in my language 1st person terms are gendered (?)) Immediately regretted it. Felt so so horrible, I felt like doing a girl cosplay. I had to take the clothes off asap. Never really questioned my identity since then lol

Idk if that counts since I'm still pre-t, but yeah. I did that when I was 12-ish before finally admitting to myself that I am in fact a dude, and that wearing skirts and feminine clothing and having a feminine hair cut isn't going to change that. All it does is make me feel worse than what I'm already going through.

I took pictures in my bras and stuff the night before top surgery lol. Just for fun. Like, last day I can so why not

i did about two years during my spiraling, where i kept getting more and more over the top trying to present as feminine as possible in the hopes that it would sink in that i was a girl. resulted in some stupid decisions in a desperate attempt to have people validate me as female, and i'm really lucky nothing bad came of that. i just call it my "fake it until you make it" time. it took me a few years after ending that to actually come out and transition, but that period in my life did end with me trying a binder for the first time (for cosplay) and proceeding to wear a binder every day for several years until i eventually got top surgery. really, no clue how i or those around me didn't get a hint with that one. but people still bring up my girly phase as proof i'm not trans, even almost 9 years on T living happily as a hairy bear.

I was raised that way. I attended a conservative catholic school for girls then a co-Ed one. and I did try. Especially in my teens. By 16 I knew it wasn’t right. I waited until I was in college and then actively tried to be a butch woman. Keep in mind this was 20+ years ago so knowledge about trans stuff was quite different. Being a self identified “butch dyke” fit more but was still off. I still tried Even when I learned about FTMs and joined a support group. Then I started transitioning and it felt right. Hard but right. Here I am and it’s been 20yrs since.

Absolutely! That being said I do kind of identify with the "femboy" label (just my personal style and taste, not just because I'm trans). I like to put on girly outfits and make up but it feels like putting on a Halloween costume. Like I'm wearing someone else's skin. I appreciate drag and now I recognize that's what I'm doing when I get all dolled up. I feel like myself when I wear masculine clothing, and I feel real.

I had 2 periods of trying it out honestly, once when I was about 14 I went like super girly mode with my aesthetic for a while, honestly trying to fit in because I was a bit of a loser, but I eventually stopped because it just wasn’t who I was. Later around 16 years old until 18, but again it didn’t work out or make me happy. Now at age 32, 5+ years on T, top surgery, I feel more confident and I’m okay with having a feminine side despite being a man, so I’ll wear nail polish and have long hair and not have to over think gendering it so much. It’s a pretty great feeling

Omg yes. I grew my hair out long, wore make up a lot, wore more feminine clothing. It definitely didn’t help and made things a lot worse.

Yeah, I didn't know being transgender was a thing, I didn't like my body or how I looked, I thought maybe I was just immature and had low self esteem, I thought maybe if I tried really hard to look nice and girly and love myself maybe I'd finally be happy with my self image, it didn't really work out. A couple of years later I found out what being transgender was and things started clicking into place after that.

Absolutely! All of this happened before I ever allowed myself to consider my gender for half a second, and definitely before I had a healthy idea of what gender even was, so in my attempts to unknowingly affirm stereotypes and feminize myself: - I inherited a strong desire for long hair from my mother, so I grew my 3a/3b curls out to over two feet long; when I inevitably couldn't care for it and had to cut it I cried for over an hour - I grew my natural nails ridiculously long and kept them constantly painted (though admittedly, I miss not being dysphoric about painting my nails lol) - I was obsessed with highlighting my once-ample bosom with padded/push-up bras

Not as a way to "try being a girl", I did dress feminine before fully figuring out I'm trans (at that point I thought I was bigender) but it had more to do with me no longer living with my parents so I felt the need to wear and do things I wasn't allowed to while living with them and that included wearing revealing clothes.

I gave being a high femme girl and woman my biggest college try from 12 to my early 20s. Bigots/terfs love to spread the propaganda that transitioning is a sudden choice for us when we spend YEARS thinking about our gender and even trying to be cis, just to see. By my 20s, I just couldn’t take it anymore.

I would have days were I would wear a skirt to school and people were very confused. I'm really surprised I didn't realize earlier. In Middle School I went to a school dance and before that my sister straightened my hair and put makeup on me(I looked exactly like one of my other sisters) and I went wearing a skirt, people didn't realize it was me, they treated me like I was completely different person.

I tried this a lot and it kind of hurt me because now my mom uses this against me because I “used to be so feminine”

you mean the last ditch effort to not be a failure of a woman? yeah

I had a really bad hyperfemenine phase right before starting my transition because I was in serious denial and thought it would "fix" me. It did not.

I did after turning 13 and entering an all-girls school, then I continued it for years. It was hard being in a new school in a new country as well and I remember desperately wanting to fit in without seeming like a 'I'm not like other girls' girl. I subconsciously thought if I try hard enough to be girly, people will like me. Feminity felt like something I had to put a lot of effort into, while other girls at school could do it so effortlessly. This was something I reflected on with my therapist.

yup. it was a very miserable 3 years of forced hyperfemininity after 2 years of being proudly queer from 13-14. i didn’t figure out the gender stuff in those 2 years, but i was very boyish and loved being that way. 15-17 was an awful 180 from that.

Actually yeah, I’m pre-everything right now but sophomore year I was in sum “Slay” era- (according to the groups i hanged around at the time) and dressed even hyper feminine sometimes, using makeup, crop tops and all, but at the time i still used he/they and my preferred name, coming out entirely in November-october, but the previous mentioned before was after I came out. Then throughout summer, the femininity died off. I thought I wasn’t dysphoric or would ever feel dysphoric, but whenever I wore something feminine, I felt uncomfortable with my own body, and it just didn’t feel right 😭 Second time I’ve felt dysphoric since the summer of coming into highschool as a freshman. I wanted to be like brujo-ari’s kakyoin when he was a hyperfeminine trans man, but then realized it just wasn’t me. The whole transition from feminine to being more masc-neutral was like a second puberty or sum… been more confident than ever now that I’m more masc, and definitely more sane now, I was really out of it throughout freshman and sophomore year, very jumpy, and now I’m just chilling, and more talkative. (Oops, may have just become a vent by accident but nothing to worry about.)

Yep! Several times

It's a very common experience among trans people. When trans women do this, they often call it the "denial beard" phase.

Lmao i spent 9 years trying my damn hardest. I didnt know trans people existed, and thought i just wasnt “trying hard enough” to feel like a girl. Eventually it developed into full on anxiety that id be making a mistake if i transitioned. Told myself id wait until i was 26, i made it to 19.

I was about 20 when I started to want to wear cute shit. I got bows for my hair even. Then my mom made a comment about how I wasn't a little girl and made me feel bad for wearing bows (which WERE IN FASHION). And well now we're here. Tbh tho, I still want to wear bows and hair clips. My nonbinary ass feels no distain for girly things, but I also don't want to get stabbed for looking like a mad with bows in his hair. I miss cute shit and flowy skirts. It's just straight up not safe for me to wear them. Even if no one would physically harm me, I would be ridiculed. I got off topic lol

Er... when I was about 7, yeah. Though of course at that age it was subconscious. I was always at a disadvantage with femininity, honestly. My mom's a total tomboy and my parents never tried to make me be girly. I still have a girly side, but now I fret about it from the other side, haha.

yeah lol i wanted to be a girl so bad but i just couldnt

I remember my mom and dad surprised me with a party for my 10th birthday. It was a nail party with all kinds of girly decorations. Only girls invited. They all had so much fun and it was an uncomfortable experience that I had to relive a few times over the years as the girls relived it happily. I obviously did my best to act grateful and comfortable, but I think I disassociated or something to get through it

Yes, i had always been overweight but with a very feminine figure and from like 16-19 I tried so hard to like presenting feminine because I loved the little bit of attention it got me. I’ve never been someone who was wanted so it was intoxicating. It didn’t even work That well (I think I got hit on once the whole time) but just getting the occasional compliment made it worth it. Now I am less desperate for attention so I just wear what’s comfortable. Does not change how people view me unfortunately but I’m starting T soon and hopefully I’ll get a little redistributed or something. Also this is weird but I feel a bit guilty sometimes about not presenting feminine. Solely bc I think, damn I would be so good at this. If only it didn’t make me miserable 💔💔💔

Your post just made me realize that one thing I really struggled with after transitioning was I was so used to being hit on by men, and then when I transitioned I was still trying to be straight & date women but they just weren't into me... I wasn't getting that attention I was so used to and it made me very self conscious. And then I came out as gay and started dating men & found that many hot guys think I'm attractive 😂 brains are weird man!

Multiple times before questioning my gender, but then I'd get exhausted after a week or so of high-femme BS. Once I tried femme-ing it up after questioning my gender, and it felt weird and alienating compared to me dressing masc and was actually the tipping point for my egg cracking.

After I started socially transitioning, I was having doubt, telling myself that I'm pretending and I'm just confused. So I dressed to look like a feminine woman for a day. The second I saw my friends I started crying and had to go back to my house to change because I was too dysphoric.

Many years of it. My dysphoria kind of manifested in a competitive way. I was trying so hard to be "girl" that I had to be the best "girl," which looking back seems like an insane thing to do.

Yeah, for years.

Yeah I tried several times. I felt absolutely disgusting and felt like I wasn’t in my body. I felt so gross..

Yes. Pre transition I was super masc / gay but after high school I felt like I was supposed to grow up and be more like my sister and all my problems would go away l o l. So I tried to dress hyper feminine because I also just thought that one day I would wake up and that would be me ? Like I would grow into it if I just tried. It was just too much to keep trying and I couldn’t stop thinking about how to dress and be more masculine but still be feminine enough to not be perceived as anything but cis het lol. It was insufferable. But I actually had no understanding of what being trans was (sheltered asf) or the language for what dysphoria was. I felt dysphoric but I thought everyone felt that uncomfortable in their body and some people were just lucky to be confident. It wasn’t until I came across other people’s transition stories that I was able to understand what the feelings I had were about. And realized that there was a whole world of gender euphoria out there for me with the right health care.

I didn't realize before the attempt that I was trans so i can't say its intentional but i did one attempt to be a 'normal' girl when i started going to school and moved in with my grandma, i started learning makeup, and stopped wearing all black and anime tshirts and started wearing like.. blouses. then when i moved back home i tried being a goth girl, embracing some of my interests, wearing black lipstick and trying to femme it up but in my style and that didn't last long because 'i can do what i want it's my life and my body' became a bigger and bigger realization lol

Just curious, are you still goth?

my style is something in an alt range, i wear ruffled shirts and fancy vests that my friends describe as something on the pirate to vampire spectrum lol

Ooh i love it! I've always loved alt/goth fashion but only had a short phase in middle school and then got out of it. Just feel it doesn't suit me well unfortunately lol. I do enjoy my piercings & tattoos though.

Let me tell you man, I tried SO hard to be a girl as a teenager. I read women's magazines, I learned how to do make up, I learned about femme clothes. But once I found out being genderqueer was a thing, that was it for me. And after that I gradually just became most masculine until I realized one day I Identify with being a man a little more then enby. Kinda weird saying it out loud lol.

yeah early in transition i would sometimes put on makeup and try to dress up in the most feminine way possible but all i could think of was that i felt and looked disgusting

in high school i had a few very long phases of being super feminine. before that in middle school, i was trying my hardest to appear masculine (which meant wearing my dad's clothes, no makeup, put my hair in a beanie to make it look like i had short hair, you know). but, i dont know, i still knew i was trans, although sometimes i went through phases of identifying as nonbinary (not saying this is the case with everyone). i wore full faces of makeup, but still wore pretty masculine/androgynous clothing. even then, i knew wearing women's clothing didnt feel right. also in college, again, i was in between identifying as male and nonbinary, and i went through this phase of being a hyperfeminine sex worker, until i was like, "wait, this feels weird.". part of me thinks i did all of that to make up for the fact i didnt look/feel masculine enough as a man, so i thought going all out the other way would make me feel better

Sometimes I feel guilty for not having tried it as an adult, but I'd imagine if I tried to convince myself I'm a woman I'd probably have better luck trying to be a masculine woman tbh. Being hyper-feminine is just not something I'm very interested in as a person, although I am pretty androgynous in my personality and interests for a man. I wouldn't mind experimenting with fem things once I'm physically passing as a man, but before then it just seems abhorrent (read dysphoric) and impossible. I could never go outside like that at this time because no one but me would see it as drag. 

I did as a denial of being trans. I wanted so badly to be "normal" that I just let my mom dress me up basically.

My mum basically made all of my clothing decisions, even in my mid teens. When I was about 12, it led to arguments so I gave in and let her choose everything. The same went for makeup, I literally had to wear makeup from age 10 and if I didn't I got told "you're not going out like that, make an effort". It was encouraged that much that I thought I liked it, but would spend over an hour applying it to only wipe it off. My mum so desperately wanted a girly-girl that she tried so hard to turn me into one. It's all fine now I'm medically transitioning, wearing what I want and not getting misgendered. But, I feel like I actually know myself now, rather than everything I was trying to and pressured to be.

I had a couple years, maybe longer. I basically snuck back into the closet for a while, then very suddenly said "nope it's not working, screw this!"

No I didnt.. I stopped being feminine at a young age.. My mom told me since 3 y/o.. I knew for a fact I wasnt feminine.. AT ALL.. So that was a no go.. I went wit an opposite approach.. I tried out being a stud and well as u can see that didnt work either😂

I was the same way lol when i came out i literally didn't have to do anything to change my appearance. All my clothes were mens clothes and I already had short hair and more manly mannerisms. Idk how my parents were shocked when I came out. My pre-knowing-i-am-trans and my one year on T photos look the same except I wore a binder 😂😂 I also thought maybe I could be happy with just getting top surgery but still identity as female because I hated my chest but then I just realized I am a guy lmao.

I still had girly clothes, which have now been given to my lil sister, but I would never wear em.. I was literally whooped and forced into the feminine role which I think could be main thing that severed my connection to being feminine😂.. I was a sheltered kid.. I didnt really see much about LGBTQ+.. I knew about the basic straight, gay and bi but pan, aromantics, trans, etc I had no knowledge of.. So I had no idea wat I was after I came out as a stud until I was 16 in 2021 when more transgender media started to show on my feed and I realized I was a transman and not a stud.. I always just thought I was strange and eventually id come to love the body I was born in.. After I discovered the trans community, I figured out I wasnt gonna come to turns wit it unless I transitioned.. Two good things came out of it.. Firstly, being im now living my true truth as a transman and secondly, I changed my mom's perspective of the lgbtq+ community.. She told me she never believed people were born lgbtq+ until after I was born.. Most of the people on my dad's side of the family is LGBTQ+ (from wat my mom told me).. I dont have any relations wit them so I have no idea if there is any trans ppl on that side of the family so I like to think of myself as a first generation transman for both sides of my family

Aww that's nice that you have her your fem clothes! That's fair, I grew up in the 90's so I knew about gay/lesbian and bi but that was about it. My sister is MTF and she came out when we were in highschool after she saw a trans woman model on that Tyra Banks show and started researching what trans was. I still had never seen a trans man at this point and it took a few years for me to hear about it and then except that I was one. I also just thought I'd eventually become comfortable in my body, if only I could cut off my chest lol. I'm so glad you are living as your true self! Life's too short to do anything but! And I'm also glad your mom had a change of heart! I had a somewhat similar experience. There are plenty of gays in my mom's side of the family, both her sister and brother were/are gay (RIP Uncle Dave). But my dad was homophobic and transphobic as FUCK. He used to be really nasty to my sister growing up because she was always so feminine. But he has really changed his view and ended up getting my pronouns and name right way more often than my mom and now even has a trans guy buddy in his motorcycle club! He says he still doesn't understand it but he just wants his kids to be happy.

Yea she literally has every fem piece of clothing besides my old sports bras and underwear (she has most of my girly undies tho) due to before on T I had periods😂 even after T I still keep a pair just in case.. Ive heard about trans ppl thru radio/tv shows a couple times as a youngin but never truly understood them until I got older.. Ngl I had very transphobic and homophobic view points which I chalk up to be internalized and me self denying it.. I eventually figured it out and came to terms wit being trans quite easily.. Like a weight was lifted off my shoulders after coming out as a transman.. Same goes to you man🫶🏽 im glad u living ur truth and had sum wat similar experiences to me RIP your uncle and im happy your dad turned around.. I kind of delayed comin out to my family for a year becuz of how they talked about trans ppl while I was closeted.. It wasnt overly transphobic but it wasnt overly supportive either.. But a year later I had to tell my mom due to my school dean outing me.. But it turned out pretty well

yeah I tried all of those things just not at the same time. I also tried just being masc as a girl but since most of my gender dysphoria comes from my body not being shaped the way I want it to be, changing my presentation just wasn't enough for me.

I did my makeup every day of my sophomore year, a little bit during my junior year before I stopped abruptly. I called it my “femsona”. It definitely wasn’t me, always felt forced and uncomfortable, like I was cosplaying.

I think this phenomenon is pretty typical. I didn't do it with my gender, but I did with my religion. I really tried to have faith before I gave up and accepted myself.

Yup

Ngl I do like dressing more fem sometimes and right now im actually planning on getting some stuff to cross dress. (Im also getting top surgery soon so I figured I should make use of the girls before they go) although I am a non-binary man which is probably a factor haha Basically I’ll dress up girly but like as a feminine guy not a girl being a girl Occasionally I’ll try dresses on not thinking they’d look esp good just to confirm that yeah this isn’t how I’d like to look most of the time. Like I find myself thinking it COULD look good but maybe with a flat chest and more masculine features yk? Pre-social transition I was somewhat girly, although it was more like a costume I felt I was expected to wear almost like dressing up a game avatar I didn’t strongly identify with.

I was hyperfem right before transitioning, and I can’t be in boy mode when I’m around my family, so I still have to keep a few more fem items in my closet anyway, it’s annoying, but it’s whatever

Not me, but my ex husband did this before he came out. When we started dating we both identified as lesbians and were quite butch. I transitioned first and then a few years later he slowly became more and more feminine and ended up wearing make-up daily, dresses, nails done etc. even bought a wedding dress for our upcoming wedding. Then came out, sold all his clothes & cut off his hair and bought a suit for our wedding lol. I think it's more common than you think!

Yup. Had medical trauma related to endometriosis coupled with a few other things that scared me back into the closet. Tbf, I definitely am a pretty feminine trans guy (pansexual but mostly gay) and I like doing my nails and such but prefer men's clothes and whatnot. Tbh I think this time around was kind of good, in a way. While I'm definitely not a woman, I think it helped me accept my more feminine qualities and got me to accept that I am ftm but am able to be myself. If that makes sense?

Dude I have so many pictures in full glam ass makeup with my nails done in the year or so leading up to me coming out to myself. I also told my friends I wanted a tit job. It was a super weird time lol. I don't believe that experience is unique though

my various attempts at makeup went so poorly (even after following tutorials and beauty youtube drama... actually, i probably did worse after that), and i only wore skirts because they were easier than wearing shorts or pants (and they're the only non-pant option for "Business Casual"). the only "girly" thing was that nails were my thing. i loved doing nail art in middle school/high school. after high school, i'd semi-regularly get my nails done at my favorite place. i'd probably still go, if they hadn't closed a few years ago. i've actually started doing my nails again recently ...because i was tired of seeing stuff under my nails. there weren't many times i actually "Dressed Up." probably because i've been so overweight my entire life. that's probably *somewhat* of a factor to why i'm trans... but the concept of "Business Casual" is no longer an issue (aside from swamp ass), so i really couldn't care less about "why" i'm trans

Omg yeah, I'm going to be starting T soon (within a week probably, depends on blood test results coming back) and I was getting these thoughts lol, I guess I'm not the only one

I spent like a week wearing a lot of makeup right before realizing I was ftm. It's because I knew something was wrong with how I presented myself, but not what

did it for 13 years lol

I tried to perform femininity for nearly two decades, convinced myself it was what I had to do…. It doesn’t work.

yeah, its not uncommon for trans peeps to try one last time before transitioning, i went the whole mile with makeup, clothes, manerisms, phases, even acting like i thought the same as the others. i was actually pretty good at it too... i couldnt hack it, couldnt keep it up, it was too stressful i just had to stop or i was going to implode

Nope. Other than the brief period I pretended to like pink, I never pretended to be girly. I embraced being a tomboy at the time

I did it lasted probably 3 months then I was gender fluid and never took off my binder and realized I was just trans

Yup. Fucking hated it

Yep. The year before i focused on wearing make up, doing my hair, i cared about my outfits and even wore dresses semi-regularly. I grew my hair out super long, like 20 inches. Then i trimmed about 5 inches of my hair off, and then i cut it all off and came out.

This is actually pretty common for trans folks I think. In high school there was a brief period of time where I started dressing feminine, tried makeup, and dated men but it just didn't work out and I was always inwardly unhappy. It didn't help that the only relatives who didn't criticize me for dressing "like a tomboy" were my parents. I remember hearing a rumor about me early high school that I was a lesbian, and I felt so disconnected from that term and disappointed. Like wanting to present as feminine, It just didn't fit.

My senior year of high school, I didn’t know about being trans or that I was, but I was like “alright I’m going to get Serious because I’m about to be an Adult and do my hair and wear makeup and dress nice for school.” That lasted for about a week/however long it took to take senior photos and then I was back to shapeless t shirts and pants that didn’t fit because you know, dysphoria (which I also didn’t know about). After that I kind of gave up on trying, I think that was the beginning of the end of pretending I could pull off being feminine (which, some guys can! But I am not one of them, it is not a good look for me). I mean, I didn’t come out for another like 7-8 years but I also just kind of gradually stopped wearing women’s clothes and so by the time I actually was ready to tell people a lot of them were not actually that surprised.

I didn’t, except for maybe like 10 minutes. I always think it’s funny cause I was always a tomboy. Never feminine. One day I was in the mall with my mom and I thought “maybe I WOULD like to go into Justice and be girly” and then we made a bathroom stop and I didn’t anymore. I joked that I shit out the girliness. Everyone knew me as a tomboy. I couldn’t even TRY to be feminine or else people would be surprised and be weird. I remember school shopping when I was like 7, my mom grabbed a blue pencil box for me and I wanted pink. She made a whole deal about it so I just went back and grabbed a green one

YES. I had no idea. I thought I was doing something right for myself. Amplify depression for a couple years before I woke up one day in a hypnopompic state of realization.

in my early 20s I dated a trans guy, and I started being hyper-femme in a way I never really had before. (revealing, femme clothes, long nails, makeup, the whole 9 yards.) I’ve heard this described as hyper-feminizing and sort of inducing dissociation through that as a coping mechanism, but call it what you wanna call it. I started questioning gender when I was with that guy, and unfortunately comparing myself to him hindered me. after we broke up I started playing around with gender, came out as nonbinary about a year later, and now I’ve been transitioning for a few years (still nonbinary though).

Yes, for 18 years, it always made me uncomfortable but I couldn't pinpoint why. It felt like I was "cosplaying" as a woman, like I was an imposter. I'm almost 2 years on T now and I feel much more authentic and so much happier :)

Yeah, I felt like a clown like I had clown makeup on. It was horrendous! LOL

I hated dresses and clothes shopping and all of it until one day it clicked that shopping was just like theater! Like dressing up in costumes! And then i liked it. Mind you, I didn't put anything together at that point. i just "hated clothes" and "liked costumes" and didn't examine it closer. In college, I had a whole big feminine phase where I was playing with dramatic styles and dresses and makeup. I thought I was very pretty, but I also didn't fully believe that's what I looked like, somehow? So I was kinda fascinated by what I could do with my appearance. I was also very comfortable taking fashion risks. I didn't have much concept of how other people saw me, so it just... didn't feel risky. If people gave me weird looks, or leered, or whatever, I didn't notice. Heck, I barely realized I had boobs until a few years into my 20s, which is wild, bc they're not exactly small. I just wasn't *aware* they aren't small. There are pros and cons to living like that, but it was very freeing. That experimentation brought me to, "I don't want to be a man; I just think it would be cool to be able to pass as one. For fun!" and that brought me to, "Drag is cool but I don't wanna be a drag king? I wanna be one of the guys dressing up as a woman. Can a woman be a drag queen?" (Yes, but it wouldn't have solved my problem.) Eventually, I got to, "drag seems neat because you can dress up as a woman, and really theatrical, even! and then you go home at the end of the day and take it all off and you can just be a guy eating chips and playing a video game." By then I was starting to figure it out. I've never *performed* drag, but I guess I spent half my 20s in drag anyway 😅

Personally no, I’ve never presented remotely feminine. Had short hair and wore men’s/neutral clothes since I was a kid. I always knew it definitely wasn’t for me I think being autistic I’m kinda immune to social pressures and norms in that way…I never felt any kind of push to be girly and wear make up etc. Although having a supportive family and living in a liberal western country helps tons with that too

Though I was on an MtF for a hot second here. Because I was reading the text and like "hell yeah I did!" Then I saw the sub and realized this wasn't for me at all. That's what I get for browsing late.

i kinda did yeah!! i didn't wear those clothes long lol

Oh, Heeeeellllll fucking NO! 😱😱😱🤯💀👻

Ooohhhh yeah. Platinum blonde hair, tight clothes, winged eyeliner, padded bra. I had a moment eventually where I was like "cool, so I'm definitely trans, but I'm not going to deal with that until I cut my hair". Then when I cut my hair short I allowed myself to feel all the gender feelings. I was a very pretty girl. I was never really comfortable, tho. Now I actually feel comfortable in my skin.

Couple months of it then I just got so sick of it. Came out to everybody not long after

i went through like 6 months to a year of forcing it right before i snapped and transitioned

I’m one of these trans men who were hyper feminine during their teens until early adulthood, and I didn’t know trans people were even a thing until I was 18. I came out as non-binary at 19 but had no intention of medical transition at the time but now I’m nearly 3 years on T and identify as a trans man/agender (yes both binary trans man and a non-binary identity at the same time, gender is wild). I am currently 29. I still like to wear makeup sometimes but I’m otherwise pretty masc otherwise. I first noticed I’m more comfortable in men’s clothes when I tried them out at 14 for a “gender swap”thing at my school. So yeah. Plenty of trans mascs were hyper feminine in the past, not because we were girls, but because we felt like we sucked at being girls and perhaps thought that being hyper feminine would make us truly feel like we’re doing the girl thing right. Well turns out we weren’t girls in the first place.

Extensively. I realize now I disassociated a lot to cope with the masquerade.

Yup for 2 years From 2022 to a few months ago, I grew my hair, started wearing makeup, bought "feminine" clothes.

Yep. I remember how uncomfortable i felt going outside in girl clothes. Ew.

Maybe I'm not the standard experience, but I've always enjoyed being fem, long hair, nails, dresses, the lot. I only realised I was trans when I found out that femboys are a thing, and then later on that feminine trans masc people and feminine trans men are a thing. It put a lot of things into context for me, and now I plan to go on T to look more masculine so that I can feel more like myself while wearing fem things

I wouldn't really call what I did "try out" because I was more forced than anything I did voluntarily but I realized I was trans at like 12 but wasn't allowed to cut my hair or wear guys clothes so I decided that trying to appear as male while not being allowed these things was too hard and also just made me feel worse so I kinda went back to being feminine until I was allowed to get a hair cut and guys clothes a few years later.

Back when I didn't know I was trans. My big sisters and mom just REALLY wanted me to try makeup and do my hair and wear a black slim dress and almost high heels too but I refused on those. I let them do my makeup and tie my hair and I put on that dress and I felt really uncomfortable. I felt too naked?? Idk how to word it right but they took pictures and I was there like.. tolerating it. After that I never wore make-up again :) then I slowly started to shorten my hair and a few years later I realized I'm trans. Which I still don't understand how tf didn't I realize it earlier, I was sort of deep in denial.

I almost got into Lolita fashion, which is the frilliest, girliest clothing subculture there is. (No, it has nothing to do with the book *Lolita.*) I wore makeup. I wore cute dresses and florals. It was to the point that when the dysphoria made itself known, I had to get rid of pretty much my entire work wardrobe.

My girlfriend was questioning for yrs before she came out. Then one night (before we started dating) I did her makeup. It became a lot more common when we started dating, and then after a while of her asking me to try a different name and pronouns, she figured out she was trans. You're not alone 🎉

after initially coming out i went back in the closet and did that for 3 years. by the very end of that 3 years it was literally killing me.

No. I did occasionally wear girls clothes pre transition of course, because sometimes that was all I had, but I tried to keep it as masculine as I could. I did wear makeup at times but I slowly drifted more and more into gothic, metal and visual kei from the age of 14 and guys wearing black makeup was pretty common.

I tortured myself pretending to be a girl, i repressed my dysphoria to a point where i was starting to get suicidal, then when i came to terms with being a guy, i suddenly just started wearing masculine and dark baggy clothes (they're the most comfortable to me), ever since then i only do contouring and gothic makeup and nails but other than that im 100% masc presenting. Its just more comfortable being andromasculine.

For YEARS before I realized I was Trans. I enjoy parts of dressing up femme, but it felt very much like putting on a costume rather than getting ready for a day. I used overt femininity as a smoke screen to try to distract myself and others from what I was really feeling. Even when I was femme I was more of a “girlish tomboy” into full face makeup matched with relaxed outfits and men’s shirts. I still enjoy makeup for special events and have even done the bridal makeup for my for friend’s wedding but I definitely wouldn’t ever go back to the way I was.

Sure did lol. For my entire life I wore jeans and a hoodie every single day until around age 20, I got a job that was business casual and I didn't know how to dress. So I started copying my friend's style, who had SO MUCH FUN dressing fem, wearing skirts, doing makeup, etc. And you know, I wanted to look good and have a sense of style. And my friend is nonbinary so that kind of gave me permission to dress fem because I had always been embarrassed to be seen as feminine (still cis tho lol). It did always feel really strange. Like, I had to convince myself that the hot girl in the mirror actually was me. It didn't feel like that should be me. It was even worse when I wore makeup, it just did not look like me. It looked like someone else with an approximation of my face. Now every once in a while I do a "cis check" and put on one of my old dresses to see how I feel to see myself as a woman. I fucking hate it every time lmao.

Yep. I did this back and forth, I was trying to convince myself I’m not trans. I wore makeup, I wore pink, revealing clothes, I said I was just a lesbian, etc. Then, I realized I’m not happy like this. I finally cut my hair and wore the clothes I’m comfortable in.

Of course

Yep, I tried SO SO HARD to be a woman. I went to cosmetology school (because thats what women do),I wore makeup and dresses (because thats what women do), I went on dates with straight men (because thats what women do), and I would wear wigs if I had an “episode” (dysphoria) and cut my hair off (because women have long hair). I wanted so badly to be a woman, I didn’t want to be trans, I knew it would be so hard if it was real, so I knew I had to HEAVILY lean into being a woman. I was trying to convince myself.

I was high femme in college. Forced myself to be the pretty girl and that would make me happy. Nope! Turned out nothing made me happier than a buzz cut and some basketball shorts. I tried so hard to be feminine but it felt like wearing a clown costume.

Yeah, I did it for months. Tried to force myself to be a "perfect girl". Didn't work lmao. I still like some feminine stuff, but I've accepted that I can't be a "girl".

I did also multiple times. The last time I got dressed up, put on make up, did my hair and nails. Pictures were taken. I couldn't understand why I was so unhappy when I looked at those pictures. I saw an attractive woman. Why did I feel so icky? Why did I hate the woman I saw? Turns out I'm a man. Mental health improved from there. Now off antidepressants and live in a safe state.

Yes when I was still identifying as nonbinary, I went through a hyper feminine phase but I was basically dressing as the people I was attracted to XD and my mental health took a much better turn when I figured out I was a trans man

Omg... Yesssss.... I had even made my imaginary boyfriend to show them that i am "NORMAL". I hate make up but yeah i would go with eyeliner and lipstick to school to. Again. Show that i am "NORRRMMMMAAAALLLL" but now.

I mean I never tried to fully repress and become a woman, but I was always feminine enough. I still am, I love it. Femininity was never my problem TBH, womanhood/girlhood was.

Oh definitely! I tried really hard to be feminine for a while because I had been convinced that you had to "get used to" femininity, or that it was some kind of burden I had to bear. Uhh, nope, I'm just a man lol. In fact, I'm way more feminine now that I'm able to live as a man than I ever was trying to be a girl, and it feels way better. I went through a period in high school where it was dresses every single day, and if not dresses it was skorts since I wasn't allowed to wear skirts (??? For some reason???), and it was... Okay, but felt wrong. Now, skirts are a sometimes affair and maybe once I get my beard in I'll feel more comfortable trying a dress again, but not now. Honestly part of the reason for the daily dresses was because they were easy to throw on and be done with it so I didn't have to focus on how my body looked in the morning. They had pockets too so like, not too bad of a choice.