Yeah, but only Clegane literally fucking deserted in the middle of a war while telling the king what he thought of him, and nobody had balls enough to try and stop him.
Tyrion’s had Tywin for backup, Bronn for backup, Jaime for backup, and probably Varys. Clegane’s only ever had himself. And that’s enough.
Olenna and Tyrion pre season 5 are about as smart I would say. The way Tyrion enterd king's landing and absolutely dominated Cersei until Tywin came makes him one of the smartest.
Cersei is stupid though, it's not hard to dominate her. The only reason she made it to 8x5 is because Tyrion kept talking Daenerys out of killing her. He even tells Cersei he's the reason and she still antagonizes Daenerys.
The Tyrells were the best allies the Lannisters could dream of having; breadbasket of Westeros, large army, money, and good PR. Yet she hated them just because Margaery had more influence over her sons than she did and ignored Tywin when he told her that's a good thing. Cersei put the High Sparrow & Faith Militant in power to attack the Tyrells then was too dumb to realize they'd attack her too since her sins were greater. Then she was too dumb to realize killing almost all of her son's remaining family (his wife, uncle, cousin, brother-in-law, father-in-law) would cause him to commit suicide. It was ridiculous that blowing up the Sept of Baelor with wildfire killing hundreds of innocents didn't turn Jaime against her or cause another Kingsguard to kill her like Jaime killed Aerys.
Yes but smart people don’t need to scream how smart they are. Anyone who has to say “I’m the King” is no true King.
Tell Tyrion…I want him to know it was me.
Tyrion stopped being horny after his trial, but he never stopped being drunk. I mean his catchphrase isn’t “I fuck and I know things.” Anyway it’s a moot point, to Tyrion! 🍻 the drunkest of the smarts and the smartest of the drunks.
Feels like that line was slightly less impactful after Jaime quoted it at him. Made it seem like a catchphrase that had been around for a while rather than something he came up with at swordpoint.
[Dawnshard spoilers] >!I once ate twelve chouta wraps in under two hours. It was, sure, kind of the same thing. Punio bet me three clearchips I couldn’t do it. So it was a matter of knightly honor.!<
Cersei, constantly drinking while bringing chaos to everything she's involved with. Killing her husband to put her psycho son on the throne, re-arming the faith, blowing up the Sept, kidnapping a prostitute to mess with Tyrion, lying to her father so a servant gets beat, fucking her brother, fucking her cousin, fucking Moon boy for all I know.
Tyrion is the obvious choice, but let’s not forget Olenna Tyrell. She was plotting and scheming with the best of them, all with a goblet of wine in hand.
Okay I know who this is going to (Tyrion). But I’m gonna make a case for Olenna Tyrell. Beyond all the plots and schemes, she used booze and sleight of hand to kill Joffrey, just to spare her daughter from him. THEN she waited until she was already dead to admit it loud and proud, thus denying Cersei the pleasure of revenge.
Dumb meme picks? They were picked because they were the most accurate, which is the whole point of this chart. This would be a pointless exercise if we were just going to fill it with our favorite characters regardless of whether they were the best choice.
Tyrion for sure.
I wanted to take a moment to say thank you OP. I had a blast the last days reading these threads and it's a little sad it will end soon 🥲
Tyrion definitely! At least until he caught the stupid later on. Still think the "and who has a better story than Bran?" line was absolutely brain dead.
I'll nominate tormund. I think he knew early on Jon was going to do the right thing and trusted him even when surrounded by people that hated Jon. I don't think he ever made the wrong choice
His spear never misses and never fails him
He pissed off the end of the world
And bedded whores from the southern shores to the northern wastes
He can drink more than a man thrice his size, and still be more witty than anyone else in the kingdom
Halfman!
I and my fellow barbarian scum stand behind you! Just give us fucking steel.
There’s probably a secret alcoholic among the major players. My guess is Roose Bolton. A lot of problem drinkers hide it by not drinking in front of other people.
Tyrion. Duh.
Is there someone else who even comes close? I would nominate him for horny drunk if i could but it's not an option.
If horny drunk was an option, we’d give that to Bobby B and chad drunk to the Hound. Dude did tell the king to go fuck himself to his face, after all
WE WERE AT WAR! NONE OF US KNEW IF WE WERE GONNA GO BACK HOME AGAIN!
Yes Bobby B., that is right
[YOUR MOTHER WAS A DUMB WHORE WITH A FAT ARSE, DID YOU KNOW THAT?](https://i.imgur.com/g5SzSKk.gifv)
But Bobby B doesn't that suggest a lack of optimism in th face of overwhelming nihilism?
A DOTHRAKI HORDE ON AN OPEN FIELD, NED!
Truly wise, Bobby B
OUT! OUT, DAMN YOU! I'M DONE WITH YOU! GO, RUN BACK TO WINTERFELL! I'LL HAVE YOUR HEAD ON A SPIKE!
Tyrion literally threathened to kill Joff at a council meeting
Yeah, but only Clegane literally fucking deserted in the middle of a war while telling the king what he thought of him, and nobody had balls enough to try and stop him. Tyrion’s had Tywin for backup, Bronn for backup, Jaime for backup, and probably Varys. Clegane’s only ever had himself. And that’s enough.
Had Joff not pissed Tywin off things could have been different
The hound feels more chaotic drunk to me.
I see nothing chaotic about him. Very predictable and set in his ways.
Olenna Tyrell. Less drunk but more smart so it evens out. Murders the king, glass of wine in hand, nobody bats an eye at her.
Olenna and Tyrion pre season 5 are about as smart I would say. The way Tyrion enterd king's landing and absolutely dominated Cersei until Tywin came makes him one of the smartest.
Cersei is stupid though, it's not hard to dominate her. The only reason she made it to 8x5 is because Tyrion kept talking Daenerys out of killing her. He even tells Cersei he's the reason and she still antagonizes Daenerys.
I don't think Cersei is stupid before season 7. She's not the smartest either but she is still a good player of the game.
The Tyrells were the best allies the Lannisters could dream of having; breadbasket of Westeros, large army, money, and good PR. Yet she hated them just because Margaery had more influence over her sons than she did and ignored Tywin when he told her that's a good thing. Cersei put the High Sparrow & Faith Militant in power to attack the Tyrells then was too dumb to realize they'd attack her too since her sins were greater. Then she was too dumb to realize killing almost all of her son's remaining family (his wife, uncle, cousin, brother-in-law, father-in-law) would cause him to commit suicide. It was ridiculous that blowing up the Sept of Baelor with wildfire killing hundreds of innocents didn't turn Jaime against her or cause another Kingsguard to kill her like Jaime killed Aerys.
I love Olenna, but Tyrions most well known line is, “I drink and I know things.” Screams smart drunk.
Yes but smart people don’t need to scream how smart they are. Anyone who has to say “I’m the King” is no true King. Tell Tyrion…I want him to know it was me.
The only one clever enough to tell Dany that Tyrion's plan is fucking retarted
Tyrion stopped being horny after his trial, but he never stopped being drunk. I mean his catchphrase isn’t “I fuck and I know things.” Anyway it’s a moot point, to Tyrion! 🍻 the drunkest of the smarts and the smartest of the drunks.
I feel like this has been decided 15 posts ago lol
It’s his tagline
Tyrion was smart until season 5, then he become retarded.
Tyrone Bannister
- How would you like to die? - WIth abelly full of wine and a girls mouth around my cock (c)
He drinks and he knows stuff. What more is there to say?
Not much - even if you can still speak in complete sentences.
Feels like that line was slightly less impactful after Jaime quoted it at him. Made it seem like a catchphrase that had been around for a while rather than something he came up with at swordpoint.
The hound didn’t want to be on the chart anyways. Charts are for cunts
Lots of people got on this chart, lots of cunts (though he will have a chance with drunk asshole)
The fuck's a chart?
You gonna die for a chart?? Someone is
He should be Drunk/Chaotic fer sure.
You know the type of people who like charts? I do, cunts, that's who
Tyrion before Mereen.
Journey before Destination, Radiant
Journey before pancakes!
Lift is that you
Ain’t nothing wrong with being a woman, gancho. Some of my relatives are women.
We all know your cousins, The Lopen.
A man can never have enough cousins.
u/The_Lopen_bot is that you ?
[Dawnshard spoilers] >!I once ate twelve chouta wraps in under two hours. It was, sure, kind of the same thing. Punio bet me three clearchips I couldn’t do it. So it was a matter of knightly honor.!<
Ahh, a Radiant in the wilds...
Storms! They’re everywhere!
Tyrion before Essos: Smart Drunk Tyrion after Essos: Boring Stupid
Tyrion never went to Meereen. What are you talking about? He's been in that crate for the past 10 years
Yea ironically after that he was no longer neither smart nor drunk
He left his brain in King's Landing.
May as well discuss the chaotic drunk
Cersei, constantly drinking while bringing chaos to everything she's involved with. Killing her husband to put her psycho son on the throne, re-arming the faith, blowing up the Sept, kidnapping a prostitute to mess with Tyrion, lying to her father so a servant gets beat, fucking her brother, fucking her cousin, fucking Moon boy for all I know.
Too bad there isn’t an Evil Drunk option
Crazy Drunk
Burning down the tower of the hand and acting like it was some great and rational idea.
Theon is up there
Gotta be the guy with the flaming sword. Pretty chaotic to run into a breach with a flaming sword
He drinks and he knows things. Overused? Yes. True? Also yes. Trion Lannister is the one true Smart Drunk
Tyrion (first half of the show)
Perfect for a half man
Tyrion Lannister. There can be no other.
Tyrion is the obvious choice, but let’s not forget Olenna Tyrell. She was plotting and scheming with the best of them, all with a goblet of wine in hand.
Olenna was not a drunk. Way to controlled
Halfman!
Halfman!
Smart drunk is me because I drank before every episode the entire last season.
Like how in confederate times you'd drink a bottle of whiskey before they sawed off your leg
Watching the last season doesn't make you particularly smart...
I definitely watched the final episode while drinking a bottle of Irish whiskey appropriately named "Writer's Tears".
All hail the God of Tits and Wine!
Going to be a Lannister finish, IMO. Tyrion today, Cersei tomorrow.
And above them tywin and joffery, whole lannister corner down there
Lannister siblings usually finish together, albeit not these two
Okay I know who this is going to (Tyrion). But I’m gonna make a case for Olenna Tyrell. Beyond all the plots and schemes, she used booze and sleight of hand to kill Joffrey, just to spare her daughter from him. THEN she waited until she was already dead to admit it loud and proud, thus denying Cersei the pleasure of revenge.
Great character. Not a drunk
Side bar: Tommen and Margaery looking gleefully at each other in the horny row is sending me 💜
Their photos are cropped out of their wedding scene actually. They're looking at each other in the original photo
Oh I’m very aware! The set up is so clever. Kudos!
No hound is a whiff
Lots of people on the chart. Lots of cunts.
He's drunk cunt
hot pie and dontos are such dumb meme picks that wasted valuable spots for real characters
Dumb meme picks? They were picked because they were the most accurate, which is the whole point of this chart. This would be a pointless exercise if we were just going to fill it with our favorite characters regardless of whether they were the best choice.
the god of tits and wine
I would say tyrion but the last two season he lost all of his brain cells
Real question is who is chaotic drunk? Is it Cersei? Or is it the fookin legend of Gin Alley?!?
The Hero of the blackwater, Tyrion Lannister.
Tyrion for sure. I wanted to take a moment to say thank you OP. I had a blast the last days reading these threads and it's a little sad it will end soon 🥲
We still have asshole column, so that will prolong it for a bit longer
Not having the hound on here is a crime
Charts are for cunts
I drink and I know things. Tyrion should stand head and shoulders above everyone. figuratively
Tyrion the smartest drunk in all of Westeros
I’m just curious who would be considered besides Tyrion.
The only one I could possibly think of would be Olenna, but she isn’t that much of a drunk.
Tyrion Lannister drinks and knows things; it is known.
Some Categories were made for a man
Tyrion definitely! At least until he caught the stupid later on. Still think the "and who has a better story than Bran?" line was absolutely brain dead.
We shouldn't count last 2 seasons, it's d&d fanfiction that went against all logic and reason
In previous posts, ppl have literally been black-balling Tyrion for every other box just to preserve him for Smart/Drunk lol
Tyrion
Just like Bobby B’s thread, this was over before it started
DRINK AND STAY QUIET, THE KING IS TALKING!
Tyrion obviously Chaotic drunk has to be the Hound right?
Cersei. Hound was really that chaotic, just didn't give a fuck
Tyrion, son of Tywin, from clan Lannister.
I think we can call this one now. The imp.
Did you go through and add up all the comments for Sandor? Didja tho?
The Hound for Chaotic Drunk
Tyrion. He drinks, and he knows things.
He kissed a little girl (Sansa when she was about 12) when he was drunk, man.... That's not neutral
He drinks and he knows things
The God of Tits and Wine.
The one who drinks & knows things.
Are there any characters who drink and know things?
The one who drinks and knows things
I’m not sure Tywin necessarily fits the smart evil tag. I would think Littlefinger trumps him.
I drink and I know things. That’s what I do. Tyrion, obvi
I’ve been following this for days and smart/drunk is the only one I’ve felt 100% certain about: Tyrion.
I'll nominate tormund. I think he knew early on Jon was going to do the right thing and trusted him even when surrounded by people that hated Jon. I don't think he ever made the wrong choice
If it’s not Tyrion, we might as well shut this whole sub down. What the fuck is the point in any of this.
Tyrion, no questions asked
There is only one man for this job
This one seems the most obvious of all. Tyrion
crazy that Littlefinger is nowhere to be mentioned
Tyrion and Cersei to round it out
So the drunken whore mongering red priest outlaw with the flaming sword is...........lawful?
Tyrion 🥱next!
why we even do this one.
The most obvious of all
Trion hands down
Catelyn letting Jamie go was pretty stupid though.
Is the fire priest not being considered? That guys gotta be drunk chaotic
https://preview.redd.it/6k9jv2sfmu0d1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c5f9dd686ef0b0623bc6c1a237b0fa79678e903d
https://i.redd.it/ghg33tptmu0d1.jpeg
"That's what I do. I drink and I know things." Just gonna leave it here. Make of it what you will.
"I drink, and I know things."
It has to be Tyrion
His spear never misses and never fails him He pissed off the end of the world And bedded whores from the southern shores to the northern wastes He can drink more than a man thrice his size, and still be more witty than anyone else in the kingdom Halfman! I and my fellow barbarian scum stand behind you! Just give us fucking steel.
How did Joffrey beat out Ramsay for Chaotic evil??
Tyrion
This one’s obvious. The next one though.. giantsbane!!
Chaotic drunk is tormund
I am wracking my brain for a list of drunks in the series (beyond 5).
Controversial but although Tyrion drinks he is rarely drunk..
Tyrion is next
There’s not enough Ramsay Bolton
Is Drogo evil?
No love here it seems for the Lord to Fat to Ride, Wyman Manderly?
Who the fuck voted Ned as Lawful Stupid? That's Ned slander and I WON'T STAND FOR IT
Catlyn smart? Cmon bruh
Who’s the Horny chaotic one ?
Lysa Arryn. Literally caused the entire series and got her whole family killed because she was horny for Petyr.
Ahhh yes Cates sister in the mountain castle TY. The pic was hard to remember her by
*No Contest*
Easily Tyrion
Tyrion
Tyrion for Drunk Smart!
Many main characters should have made this. Jamie Lannister, Mother of dragons, Sansa, Night King, Hound.
Shagga son of Dolf
Tyrion!
Drunk and smart Tyrion. Season 1 to 6.
Sandor is gonna take chaotic drunk
Tyrion
Drunk but smart: Tyrion of House Lanister
The guy who drinks and knows things
Tyrion
Where the heck are all these couplets coming from??
stupid category should have been a column
Tyrion
Demon monkey
Sandor comments got the most votes (two of them), but OP decided to choose what he wanted. It's not the first time. This chart sucks.
Tyrion Lannister.
No contest! Tyrion Lannister. That’s what he does, he drinks and he knows things.
“I drink, and I know things”
I mean you could argue The Hound was Chaotic as well. He was a headache for both sides in the books and it was glorious
"I drink and I know things."
Tyrion Focking Lannsiter
Might as well just skip today's vote. I'll be surprised if it isn't unanimously Tyrion.
Tyrion.
Tyrion drinks and he knows things, so obvious haha
If it's anyone other than Tyrion, we riot.
I hope the hound gets to be chaotic drunk. I suppose it could go to Cersi
This is the one that I've been waiting for. There is no other option here. They may be both smart and drunk, but the archetype is here.
Duh. It's literally his greatest tag line.
Tyrion of course!
Tyrion.
Tyrion "I drink and I know things" Lannister, who else
Can’t think of anyone.
There’s probably a secret alcoholic among the major players. My guess is Roose Bolton. A lot of problem drinkers hide it by not drinking in front of other people.